Sherrielock Holmes and The Raven

August 25, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Folklore, Gothic, Gothic romance, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Sherrielock Holmes and The Raven

The year was 1899.

And Sherrielock Holmes (the dominatrix lesser known twin sister of world famous consulting detective Sherlock Holmes) was walking in the park with her scientist husband Dr. Louis Rocher (who, unbeknownst to both, was in fact the illegitimate son of the evil Prof. James Moriarty).

Dr. Rocher was demonstrating his latest invention – a camera capable of taking colour photos.

He took a picture of Sherrielock with a boastful talking raven who claimed to be the inspiration behind Edgar Allan Poe’s 1845 poem The Raven (a claim which if true the raven looked very good for his age).

He then took a picture of Sherrielock with a guinea pig.

Sherrielock was told by the raven that a close friend of the guinea pig- a red fox (who was a vegetarian- rare for his species) was in mortal danger.

The next day Sherrielock and Louis went to nearby woods and parkland to foil the fox hunt led by the notorious British fox hunter Lord Plumelington of Nausea in an effort to save the life of the guinea pig’s friend.

Lord Plumelington who was a practitioner of the dark arts had invoked Njord the Norse god of the winds to stop anyone from opposing his fox hunt.

Winds and water encircled Sherrielock like a typhoon.

A moment that Dr. Louis Rocher managed to capture on film.

And Sherrielock who was a skilled dominatrix became the first person in history to whip the wind.

She then jumped on a white horse and rode like the wind to upset Lord Plumelington of Nausea’s fox hunt sending his hounds scattering in every direction.

Sherrielock was indeed a true heroine and the fox was saved.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Sunday August 25th
2019.

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The Raven Rapper Sings A Rap Song

March 10, 2019 at 10:55 pm (Comedy, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, Music, News, Poetry, Politics, Television, Vampire novel, Video) (, , , , , , , )

Simon Cowell (a judge on the TV shows America’s Got Talent and Britain’s Got Talent) was having a dream whereby he was appearing as a guest judge on the Canadian TV talent show Canada’s Got Cannabis.

The premise of the program was the judges judged the talent after they had smoked a whole bunch of pot.

Simon’s fellow judges for the show were Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and the ET gray Gali-Gula (an ET gray from the planet Nibiru who was possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula).

The cactus plant juggling penguin who was covered in bandaids made Justin think sadly of his own marijuana smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever who was being held prisoner at a Chinese Communist re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of eastern China.

As the penguin was being carried off stage on a stretcher to a waiting ambulance, Justin Trudeau received a text message on his Huawei smart phone that hundreds of thousands of jobs were being lost in the Canadian province of Alberta.

“Who cares?” Justin yawned and shrugged and helped himself to some more cannabis cookies.

Justin had fond memories from his childhood of his father Pierre Elliott giving Albertans the raised middle finger from the window of a train as they rode through Banff National Park.

The next act was a giant gorilla who would be climbing up Toronto’s CN Tower to rescue a screaming Kim Kardashian who was at the top.

He would be doing this as he was buzzed by drones resembling World War I biplanes and triplanes.

As the body of the late Kong was loaded into a hearse big enough to fit him, Justin received a text message on his Huawei that thousands of jobs might be lost in the Canadian province of Quebec.

“Oh shit, I gotta go,” Justin cried and ran out the auditorium, “Maybe I can pressure Jody Wilson-Raybould to do something. Oh shit, she’s resigned from the cabinet.”

The next act appeared on stage as the remaining Simon Cowell and Gali-Gula smoked their tokes.

“And so, what’s your story?” Simon asked the next act as he hummed the tune to the song I Dreamed A Dream from the musical Les Miserables.

“Well,” a giant raven appeared on stage, “I’m a raven and I’m immortal and I’m the same raven who once sat on a bust of Pallas Athena in Edgar Allan Poe’s lodgings over a century and a half ago.”

“How positively dreary,” Cowell remarked as the show approached the midnight hour.

The raven broke into his rap song,

“Oh yes, it’s true that I’m a raven
you might think I’m rather craven
sitting atop Athena’s head
as if it were my own bed
even if I shout “Nevermore”
as I come rapping at your door
while you sing praises of lost Lenore
stop nodding your head weak and weary
stop crying with your eyes so bleary
don’t you know Lenore’s gone for good
That’s the saying in the hood
take your punishment like a man
and stop throwing kleenex in the can
Think of it as bleak December
stop trying to remember
let your mind be like a dying ember
cast out your thoughts of lost Lenore
while I find my way to the door
my parting words, Nevermore.

-A vampire novel chapter
and rap song
written by Christopher
Sunday March 10th
2019.


The Raven’s advice: Time to give up thoughts of Lenore

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Lilith, The Raven and The Keys of Peter

May 13, 2018 at 9:03 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , )

Lilith, The Raven and The Keys of Peter

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was in a chapel in a Cardinal’s quarters in the Vatican.

One of the Cardinals who was secretly a pagan.

So there were no Crosses or Crucifixes present in the chapel.

The sole faces on the altar looked like the faces of screaming deities undergoing the most horrendous forms of torture.

Blood red roses 🌹 and greenish vines curling like slithering snakes 🐍 crawled up the altar pillars leading to the ceiling.

The painting above the altar was a picture of a medieval castle that looked like it had once belonged to Count Dracula.

The candles and dark looking candle holders looked like they may have once graced the set of a 1930s Bela Lugosi horror film.

In Lilith’s sensuously exquisite gloved right hand she held a raven that held in its beak a chain with a golden key while her sensuously exquisite gloved left hand pressed against her breasts a pearl necklace to which was attached the Renaissance era Cross that belonged to the Borgia pope Alexander VI.

She addressed an entity who had stuck its head out of a hole in the floor of the chapel.

“Mercutio,” she said referring to the raven she held on her right hand, “has in his mouth the central key belonging to Peter and his successors. Lucifer willing, Mercutio will soon get ahold of the other keys of Peter and the Vatican will be totally ours.”

The entity nodded approvingly before disappearing below the chapel floor.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 13th
2018.

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Raven of Doom: A Poem

July 7, 2015 at 6:40 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, Mystery/horror, News, Poetry, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Raven of Doom: A Poem

A raven flew down to the Temple Mount
and shrieked so long, one lost count
The time has come, the raven said, for the downfall of many kings,
as people pursue gold and silver and all such precious things
as each man’s Inner Self becomes like Gollum clutching The Lord of The Rings
It flew above the Dome on the Rock,
Ye worship God? What a crock!
The al-Aqsa Mosque
is Tempest tossed
The Western Wall
contains Herod’s gall
Hate has replaced love in this City of Peace that’s bred much war
Open the Gates! Summon the Fates!
Cast wide open the door!
The Kraken awakes! The City quakes!
The hour has now come!
Foolish man, you’ll find nowhere to run!

-A poem written by Christopher
Tuesday July 7th 2015.

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The Room: Hotel California

October 30, 2011 at 10:19 pm (Commentary, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

He was a part of the criminal underworld- its darkest darkest part.

The Raven was the name he went by.

Only a few close friends knew his real name.

And he had so few close friends.

By far his most devilish work was done in cyberspace- on social networking sites.

The Raven did not make money at this.

Not like the drugs he sold.

But it’s what gave him the most joy.

The most delight.

Evil for the pure simple joy of evil.

It was not often that the Raven’s curiosity was aroused.

But it was aroused this time.

When he received a key to Room 722 of the Hotel California in Palm Springs, California.

In an envelope.

In the mail.

An envelope addressed to him at his most secret location.

With no return address on it.

The key was an old fashioned metal hotel key.

Not like the computerized key cards that most hotels gave out these days.

So the Raven drove down to Palm Springs.

To the Hotel California.

He discovered in the lobby that the elevator wasn’t working.

So the Raven walked up 7 flights of stairs to the 7th floor- the floor on which was room 722.

He stood outside Room 722 and was a little hesitant to open the door.

“What’s stopping you, Raven?” a tall blonde man outside Room 721 asked.

The Raven looked at the questioner.

“Aren’t you Dracul Van Helsing the famous Canadian vampire hunter?” the Raven asked.

“I am,” the man replied.

“What are you doing here? How do you know my name?” the Raven wanted to know.

“I track vampires,” Van Helsing answered.

“Well,” the Raven laughed, “I’m no vampire.”

“There’s more than one kind of vampire,” Dracul Van Helsing lit a cigarette despite the California state’s strict no smoking laws and blew smoke in the Raven’s direction.

“I don’t know what you mean,” the Raven smirked.

“I’m talking about people who pose under different aliases and different personas at various blogging and social networking sites,” Van Helsing approached the Raven, “people who befriend lonely, sad and depressed people- people who are suicidally inclined and then by befriending such people try to encourage those people to commit suicide. And in many cases, some do. Those people who pose as friends and then try to push others into suicide are a modern 21st Century cyberspace form of vampires.”

“Well,” the Raven laughed, “you can’t prove any of that.”

“But I know you did it,” Van Helsing approached.

“What are you going to do? Kill me? I’m not a vampire of the Dracula kind,” the Raven continued to smirk, “I’m a mortal flesh and blood human.”

“No, I’m not going to kill you,” Van Helsing replied, “you’re going to kill yourself. You may have noticed the elevator door is open on this floor and yet the elevator is trapped on the 8th floor above. You’re going to jump down the elevator shaft and kill yourself. That way you will no longer be able to go after lost lonely souls and get them to end their lives.”

“And how are you going to get me to kill myself?” the Raven laughed.

“Why don’t you take that key and open the door to Room 722?” Dracul instructed.

The Raven did so.

What he saw in the room literally turned his hair white.

The Raven turned around and faced Van Helsing.

He seemed to choke on his own words, “You… you… you… you’re more than just a vampire hunter aren’t you?”.

“Yes,” Van Helsing calmly lit another cigarette and again blew smoke in the Raven’s direction, “I am.”

The Raven dropped the key to Room 722 on the floor, ran down the hall and jumped down the elevator shaft.

His shrill penetrating scream as he fell downwards was the last sound he ever made on this Earth.

Van Helsing calmly opened the door to the stairwell and walked down the stairs.

To be continued.

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