Semiramis and Dracul Van Helsing In 1890s San Francisco

March 9, 2019 at 9:27 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )


Semiramis the former Queen of Babylon in the San Francisco of the 1890s

Semiramis had been having dinner with British Prime Minister Theresa May discussing Brexit and the Irish border question when suddenly the ghost of the Rev. Ian Paisley (recently granted temporary dispensational release from Purgatory by Hades the Greek god of the Underworld) showed up complaining about the fact that there was indeed a Purgatory which the good reverend stated that he found very offensive to his Ulster style Presbyterian beliefs.

To top it off, Rev. Paisley complained that his little corner of Purgatory happened to be right next door to the little corner of Tartarus where Rodrigo Borgia (better known as Pope Alexander VI) was busy roasting away on his spit.

The debaucherous evil pontiff’s screams were keeping him awake at night, Rev. Paisley bellyached.

Rev. Paisley then glanced at Semiramis and the very short skirted mini dress she was wearing.

“Aren’t you the Whore of Babylon?” Rev. Paisley asked Semiramis as he clutched a rare first edition of Alexander Hislop’s The Two Babylons in his ghostly spectral hands.

Semiramis gave the Rev. Ian Paisley such a fierce slap across his ghostly spectral face that it sent the late former Northern Ireland politician flying all the way to European Commission headquarters in Brussels.

“Excuse me,” Semiramis addressed Theresa May as she ran off to the washroom.

“How dare that orangish little bigot call me a whore,” Semiramis applied a very deep scarlet coloured rouge red lipstick to her lips as she looked at her lovely beautiful reflection in the mirror.

The lipstick she was applying to her lips was her time travelling lipstick- lipstick that enabled her to travel anywhere in time.

“Take me to San Francisco in the 1890s,” she whispered as she closed her eyes.

Semiramis found herself in 1890s San Francisco dressed in a lovely and beautifully elegant dress and hat of that decade.

“Well, how about this for a coincidence?” Dracul Van Helsing looked up from the bed on which he had been lying.

Minutes before, he had been sent to this time and place by the CERN Large Hadron Collidor as a result of the ghosts of John F. Kennedy and Nikita Krushchev arguing over the controls at the site.

Van Helsing picked up Krushchev’s shoe and threw it out the hotel room window where it landed on one of Richard M. Nixon’s forebears who had gone shopping for new kitchen decor along with his wife.

“That sounds like lovely music the orchestra is playing in the hotel ballroom downstairs,” Semiramis flicked back her hair, “why don’t we go downstairs and dance and then come back up here and have tantric sex afterwards?”.

“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Van Helsing got dressed.

Downstairs they danced to the Blue Danube Waltz of Johann Strauss.

The time travelling Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire Franz Kohler entered the ballroom at that moment and noticed the pair.

Kohler was in the San Francisco of the 1890s investing in steam bath houses as, being from the future, he knew that investing in bath houses would prove to be a profitable investment in San Francisco.

“What a ravishingly beautiful woman,” Kohler looked longingly at Semiramis and seethed with jealousy at Van Helsing.

He recalled a lecture that he had once heard “that odious Jewish ghost” (in Kohler’s own words) of Sigmund Freud deliver in a London Masonic hall a few weeks ago in 2019, that Tammuz seemed to spend more time on the Viennese psychoanalyst’s couch down in Purgatory than anybody else.

He could see why.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 9th
2019.

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