Sherrielock Holmes’ 165th Birthday
Today is the Feast Day of the Epiphany.
And it was on the Feast Day of The Epiphany in 1854 that two remarkable individuals were born.
Twins.
A boy and a girl.
The boy would go on to achieve fame and fortune as the world’s greatest consulting detective- Sherlock Holmes of 221 B Baker Street.
The girl would remain in the shadows.
One because of her chosen profession- that of a dominatrix.
And although her clientele included members of the British Empire’s high and mighty, no one wished to publicly speak of her.
She also worked for the most secret levels of British Intelligence.
She had been recruited into British Intelligence on the recommendation of one Winston Churchill in 1914 when he served in the World War I British cabinet as First Lord of The Admiralty.
By this time of course Sherrielock Holmes had achieved immortality.
Quite literally.
For she had eaten a specially prepared omelette made with Lingzhi supernatural mushrooms that had been developed by her husband the noted scientist Dr. Louis Rocher (who was ironically enough the illegitimate son of her twin brother’s mortal arch Prof. James Moriarty and a single unmarried French woman named Isabelle Rocher) which gave her immortality.
Dr. Rocher decided to wait to prepare a similar omelette and achieve immortality for himself.
A decision he came to regret after his plane was shot down by the Red Baron on April 20th 1918 just the day before the Red Baron was shot down himself by Canadian pilot Roy Brown on April 21st.
His immortal Lingzhi supernatural mushroom omelette recipe went to the ground with him.
Sherrielock Holmes left British Intelligence in 1920 and became a school teacher throughout the 1920s.
Sherrielock Holmes found her dominatrix training came in handy teaching in a girls’ school in the 1920s.
Living life briefly as a blonde, she also found her dominatrix experience came in handy teaching in a boys’ school in the 1920s.
Today of course, Sherrielock turned 165.
Her brother Sherlock had been offered one of Dr. Louis Rocher’s immortal omelettes as well but turned him down describing it as “oriental mumbo-jumbo” and “hocus pocus nonsense”.
Sherlock subsequently died of a massive cardiac arrest on May 28th 1937 upon hearing the news on BBC Radio that Neville Chamberlain had replaced Stanley Baldwin as Prime Minister of Britain.
German Fuhrer Adolf Hitler’s glee was the great British consulting detective’s death agony.
So Sherlock was not present at Sherrielock’s 165th Birthday party being held in the main dining room at the Savoy Hotel in London tonight hosted by her great-grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher who was the chief scientist at Set Enterprises the research and development firm owned by the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
Dr. Cadbury Rocher was the man said to embody the best (and the worst) of Holmes and Moriarty blood.
His greatest testtube genetic creation was present- the shapeshifting hamster/human British MP Renfield R. Renfield widely touted to someday become the Prime Minister of Britain and the Sir Winston Churchill of the 21st Century.
Also present was Amadeus Emanon (Set’s personal concert pianist) who had recently started recording his own songs at a major London music and recording studio and those few music critics who had listened to his songs touted him as a future British music sensation to equal the likes of David Bowie and Freddie Mercury.
Not present was Pan Goatee who had run away from Set Enterprises laboratories to join an American electric music rock band back in 2013 and now worked as a contract assassin for America’s DARPA and a satyr serial killer of ugly women.
There were various genetically modified animals that Dr. Rocher had created as well- including Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was currently occupying a blow proof lobster tank in the dining room of the Savoy.
That new Rocher prototype lobster tank turned out not to be so blow proof when Sherrielock entered the Savoy dining room wearing her lovely evening dress.
Waiters and bus boys were still mopping up water and London private eyes Agathor Christie and Magog Rhys Petley (who were a defeated British Conservative MP and defeated British Labour MP respectively) hired to provide security for the birthday party were trying to prevent Gordon Ramsay, who had mistaken Michelangelo for an ordinary crustacean, from placing him in a pot of boiling water.
Intelligence agents from Russia, China and Venezuela were also at the event hoping to discover Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s plans for the redevelopment of the ancient Hebrew general Joshua’s trumpets capable of bringing down any wall (which would virtually ensure that Donald Trump would be pissing $5.6 billion in U.S. taxpayers’ money down the drain).
Renfield was already on his Huawei smart phone communicating with his latest crush newly elected Democratic Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez:
“Now more than ever I think $5.6 billion would be better spent towards implementing a national public health insurance program that most civilized nations in the western world already have” – Renfield
As for another of Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s creations, the genetically recreated winged horse Pegasus was now the pet and favourite animal of Queen Rania of Jordan.
She had received offers from both Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman and Jared Kushner to sell him but she had turned both men down flat.
And as in another place, billionaire George Soros was drowning his sorrows in champagne over the possible imminent collapse of the Brussels led European Union, the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill was proposing a toast to Sherrielock Holmes on her 165th Birthday.
And the ghost of Orson Welles took an old black and white picture of Sherrielock Holmes with an old Polaroid Model 95 Land camera invented by Edwin Land in 1948:
Sherrielock Holmes on her 165th Birthday- Not looking a day over 25.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday January 6th
2018
Feast of Epiphany
Ghost Ship: The Flying Dutchman Sails On and On
On a moonlit night the sky’s spotlight
casts its rays down on tonight’s performer
a sailing ship rising out of the mist
in a globe theatre where sea and sky do meet
From underneath the water Poseidon’s hand
seems to rise from below the depths
lifting the old Dutchman like a pearl of great price
as an offering and a gift to Diana’s lantern in the night sky
Oh ship of mighty oak and sturdy deck and towering masts
what a price thou hast paid
for having for a master one Captain Hendrick Van der Decken
He who would make league and sup with the Devil
to have the fastest ship that would sail to the East Indies and back
And so there at the Cape of Good Hope
ship, master and crew would lose all hope
as Captain Hendrick stood on deck at the wheel
and cursed the wind for holding him back
but this was no wind of natural origin
This was the lady Moriah
better known as the Devil’s daughter Lilith
She the angel who directed the windstorm
As Abraham was about to sacrifice his son
on the mountain that she’d often ascend and descend
The mount where she communicated with a thousand points of light
Those gods worshipped by many nations who chose to follow her father
originally the supreme lightbearer Lucifer who rebelled against the Creator of the Cosmos
And so that mount would play at the center of time
She the angel who directed the whirlwind
causing a son who led a nation founded by Freemasons and Rosicrucians to pose the question
What angel in the whirlwind directs this storm?
The same angel that would raise a desert storm
and cause her own ancient homeland to fall under the control
of Sir Francis Bacon’s prophecied New Atlantis
that lay far beyond mighty Hercules’ pillars
A son that asked What angel in the whirlwind directs this storm?
in his inaugural speech
while his father who led the same New Atlantis
talked of communing with a thousand points of light
The father who has now gone to his reward
When shall the thousand points of light again gather on Moriah?
For after the ram saved Abraham’s son from sacrifice
The mount was to become sacred to the cosmos’ Creator
But alas foolish is man! And full of folly!
For the wisest among men chose to have 700 wives and 300 concubines
And in building a Temple to the Cosmos’ Creator
would eventually allow his women to erect statues to their nations’ gods
So that once again the thousand points of light (Lucifer’s merry band)
would seek to stand toe to toe and shoulder to shoulder with the Ultimate Divine
And now a homicidal crown prince arises out of the Arabian desert
A secret follower after strange gods
(Like many men who led the New Atlantis beyond Hercules’ pillars)
and has agreed in backdoor channels with the Nation of Israel
to rebuild Solomon’s Temple on Mount Moriah
provided that the thousand points of light once again
stand on equal ground and shoulder to shoulder with the Cosmos’ Creator
Solomon (and its Arabic equivalent Suleiman) are both rooted in shalom/salaam meaning peace
And the homicidal crown prince is the son of Salman (of the same root as Solomon/Suleiman but is a separate name meaning safe)
“For when they shall say, Peace and safety, then sudden destruction cometh upon them…” (I Thessalonians 5:3)
Those who summon the first of a thousand points of light…
In 1951, a movie was made about the Flying Dutchman
The story of a woman named Pandora who sacrificed herself
to free the Dutchman from his curse
Now the Dutchman’s curse
caused by his cursing the wind
who was the Lady Moriah
(Remember the origins of the song They Call The Wind Maria)
Lilith the Devil’s Daughter
the angel in the whirlwind who directed this storm
and communed with the thousand points of light
That curse will soon end
Captain Hendrick and his ship
The Flying Dutchman will sail on and on
Far past the Cape of Good Hope
and beyond
For the thousand points of light will once again descend
On Mount Moriah
to claim equality with and stand shoulder to shoulder
and toe to toe with the Creator of the Cosmos
until the arrival of he
“Who opposeth and exalteth himself above all that is called God, or that is worshipped; so that he as God sitteth in the Temple of God, shewing himself that he is God.”
So the ending of the Dutchman’s troubles
is the beginning of the apotheosis of humanity’s
The Dutchman’s gain is humanity’s loss.
Pandora: The woman who saved the Flying Dutchman
Named after the woman who, in classical Greek mythology, opened up a box of troubles for all mankind as good Hope is left behind.
-A supernatural narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 19th
2018.
Night of The Blood Red Moon
Night of The Blood Red Moon
The Greek Goddess Hera
“Go forth, Hermes,” Hera commanded, “and ask the Pythian sibyl high priestess of Apollo at Delphi what shall be the first sign marking the beginning of the age of sorrows that shall commence in the 2nd Coming of the Holy One born in Bethlehem of Judea.”
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up screeching in his aquarium when he heard the Pythia’s response to Hermes’ question.
. . .
Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA shifted on his feet uncomfortably outside the Oval Bathroom 🚽 of the White House as Donald Trump was having a bowel movement inside and firing off the latest DARPA secret weapon – a cruise tweet- at the entire political and military leadership of Iran.
The U.S. leader then checked his incoming tweets.
“What?” The Donald cried, “Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan just told me to go fuck myself because I demanded the release of American pastor Andrew Brunson from one of those sodomite Turkish prisons where the Turkish guards have a field day. I can’t do that to myself. It isn’t long enough for one thing…”
. . .
Dr. Cadbury Rocher was examining the work of Israeli scientist Saul Kullok.
Kullok had been examining the work of British scientist Sir Isaac Newton.
Newton had apparently studied the entire Old Testament in the original Hebrew and in his book The Chronology of Ancient Kingdoms published in 1728 a year after Newton’s death in 1727, Kullok had noticed that Newton had inserted his own detailed drawings of Solomon’s original Temple in Chapter V of the Book.
Newton in the Book claimed that Solomon’s Temple was a building whose dimensions corresponded to the measurements of the cosmos and the building was constructed in an architectural code that precisely detailed the mathematical measurements of the universe.
Dr. Rocher did not know what to think of either Kullok’s or Newton’s work as he turned off his laptop where he had been reading Kullok’s essays.
However Dr. Rocher had used Newton’s detailed drawings of Solomon’s Temple to program his 3-D laser printer to print an exact replica model (on a smaller scale of course) of the original First Temple for the Temple Mount Faithful an organization in Israel seeking to build the Third Temple.
As Dr. Cadbury Rocher was about to leave his office at the Set Enterprises lab as he heard the shrieks of Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster coming from his aquarium, he got a phone call on his smart phone.
It was from his boss the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s archenemy the Paris-based billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampiress Isis.
She was phoning to discuss the building of the Third Temple in Jerusalem of all things.
. . .
Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had just inhaled a whiff of marijuana smoke that was exhaled by Strawberry Fields Forever (which was the name of his genetically created pot smoking cactus 🌵 plant).
As such, Justin to his horror saw the ET gray Gali-Gula that he always saw whenever he inhaled pot smoke.
“So tell me, Gali,” Justin said as he looked up through the glass ceiling of his plant greenhouse for signs of the blood red moon 🌚, “who is your planet Nibiru’s greatest scientist?”.
Justin had been recalling earlier in the day how when Canada’s asshole then Prime Minister Brian Mulroney had announced his retirement, the Israeli government had awarded him the Israeli National Science and Technology Medal.
“Nibiru’s greatest scientist is Pythagogorgosaurus,” Gali-Gula replied.
“Has he recently communicated with earth?” Justin asked as he started to whistle the tune to the old Beatles song Strawberry Fields Forever.
“The last time he communicated with Earth was when he received a laser message from a glowing white globe that was sent into outer space by Donald Trump and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman,” Gali-Gula answered.
“Really?” Justin answered as he fell face forward into the bush of Alberta Wild Roses inside his greenhouse and started to sing, “Hey Jude, don’t ask me why. Sing a sad song and make it better…”
. . .
The blood red moon over Athens:
Hera to Apollo (as they stood underneath their respective statues): “And so rises the sign foretold by your high priestess…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 27th
2018.
