Renfield R. Renfield, The Third Secret of Fatima, The Eye of Horus Over Hong Kong, Maria Orsic and The Vril Society

September 11, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield, The Third Secret of Fatima, The Eye of Horus Over Hong Kong, Maria Orsic and The Vril Society

“So what is the message in the Third Secret of Fatima?” Amadeus Emanon asked his friend Renfield R. Renfield who had discovered the text of the Third Secret last year- a message that the Vatican claimed to have released back in 2000 but of course they hadn’t.

Renfield drew out the text of the Third Secret and read it,

In Portugal the dogma of the Faith will always be preserved. If people do not repent and better themselves, God the Father will allow a terrible punishment to be inflicted on all humanity. A great war launched in the 21st Century by Satan’s partisans in the East will come. Those surviving will envy the dead. Death will briefly reign, raised to triumph by the brothers of death who seek to be masters of the whole earth. All the world will be thrown into great confusion. Fire and smoke will fall from heaven and waters from the ocean will turn to steam throwing their foam to the sky. Millions of people will die by the minute. The only arms of protection which will remain for you will be the Rosary and the Sign left by my Son.
Each day recite the prayers of the Rosary. A time of very severe trial is coming for the Church. Satan will reign over the highest places and succeed in infiltrating to the very top of the Church. One third of the clergy will serve Satan. Entire nations will lose the Faith and many people on earth will be condemned to Hell. Cardinals will oppose cardinals and bishops will oppose bishops. Many rotten changes in Rome will be retained and the Church will become obscured. At last those who survive these events will repent and become true followers of Jesus Christ as before when the world was not so corrupted. In the end, my Immaculate Heart will triumph, Russia will be truly converted and a period of peace will be granted to the world.”

“And that was the message said to have been given by Mary the Mother of Jesus to three shepherd children at Fatima, Portugal back in 1917?” Amadeus asked.

“That’s right,” Renfield nodded.

“And that message was supposed to have been released by the person who was Pope in the Year 1960?” Amadeus inquired.

“Yes, but John XXIII the man who was Pope in 1960 thought that by calling an ecumenical council he called Vatican II instead, this could save the world from nuclear catastrophe,” Renfield noted, “He thought he knew better on the subject than Mary the Mother of Jesus.”

“And so what was the end result of Vatican II?” Amadeus wanted to know.

“The end result is that Satanists are now in control of the Catholic Church in the year 2019,” Renfield replied.

“The first to fall under the control of Satan were the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops back in the late 1960s and early 1970s,” Renfield explained, “which is why so many U.S. Democratic Party politicians who consider themselves Catholic publicly enact the policies of the demonic entities Baal and Baphomet yet are still considered Catholics in good standing by their diocesan bishops. The Latin American bishops fell under the sway of Satan back in the 1970s and 1980s through the influence of Satanic Marxist Liberation Theology lovingly bestowed on the world by members of the Jesuit order. Then the German Catholic Bishops’ Conference fell under the sway of Satan- most of them back in the 1980s by embracing the ideologies of the demons Baal and Baphomet. And throughout this whole time, Pope John Paul II was so busy fighting satanic ideologies (i.e. Soviet Communism) outside the Church that he failed to notice the satanic ideologies rising inside the Church. By the time Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger was elected Pope Benedict XVI in 2005, he was fully aware of all the satanic filth inside the Church. He put up a valiant fight for 6 and a half years but then his health started to fade and he resigned the Papacy in February 2013. The Satanists finally managed to succeed in putting one of their own Jorge Mario Bergoglio as Pope Francis in March 2013.”

“I notice Pope Francis on his way back from Africa today said that a schism in the Church is now probably inevitable,” Amadeus helped himself to a watercress and cream cheese sandwich.

“Yes, those Catholics who are still Catholic will probably leave the Church after satanism is finally publicly brought in during the Pan-Amazon synod at the Vatican next month,” Renfield likewise picked up a watercress and cream cheese sandwich.

. . .

Worshippers of the supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon (who served as personal advisor to China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping) in the Hong Kong Police Force managed to get the Hong Kong courts to approve a warrant seizing the medical records of a woman whose eye was injured in clashes back on August 11th.

The woman was injured in the right eye after Black Dragon worshipping Hong Kong Policemen fired rubber bullets and tear gas in a small enclave at a transit station.

The Black Dragon’s representative Senior Superintendent Steve Li said that the Hong Kong Police Force did not have to explain their actions.

The battle between Cthulhu the High Priest of the Great Old Ones and the entity known as the Black Dragon for control of Hong Kong was about to get more intense.

. . .

“Did you know that the immortal known as Maria Orsic who was the founder of the Vril Society in Germany was a practicing witch?” Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol said over the phone to his friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

“I’m starting to suspect that is the case,” Van Helsing answered as he looked at her as she was looking at him.

“Dracul, where are you?” Whitstable asked.

“Gotta go,” Van Helsing ended the call on his smart phone.

An exchange of Vril energy then took place shortly after.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher 
Wednesday September 11th
2019.

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Pan Goatee’s Uglocide Evening, Macron’s Whining, Malachi Martin Anniversary and Roy Cohn’s Pretty Boy

July 27, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee’s Uglocide Evening, Macron’s Whining, Malachi Martin Anniversary and Roy Cohn’s Pretty Boy

Pan Goatee had just entered the grocery store and went to pick up a cart when a medium sized ugly looking blimp approached to pick up a cart.

Goatee beat the blimp in picking up a cart first and then promptly beheaded the blimp.

“One must show patience,” remarked some idiotic bystander.

“You can spend all eternity showing patience,” Goatee answered as he beheaded the man.

Goatee then picked up the items he wanted to buy and then went and stood in line at the cashier.

Some ugly looking female stoat-human hybrid (in one of the many genetics experiments in southern Alberta gone horribly wrong) then went and rudely walked down the aisle past the customers waiting in line just to exit instead of using the proper exit.

Goatee then leapt across cash registers, got in front of the ugly looking female stoat human hybrid and beheaded her with his astral machete remarking, “You’re the best argument ever against the erroneous concept of white supremacy.”

Goatee wished he could track down the Nazi criminals from Argentina who had settled down in Calgary back in the 1990s and performed horrendous and blasphemous genetic experiments whose rotten hideous looking fruit were now coming to fruition in the teens decade of the early 21st Century.

But the Nazi criminals having done their damage apparently fled elsewhere.

. . .

French President Emmanuel Macron sat in his office feeling depressed.

In addition to being turned down for quickies from all the older women he had propositioned in Parisienne sidewalk cafés on this Saturday evening, Donald Trump had tweeted a nasty tweet against him earlier this week.

Macron was thinking of imposing a digital sales tax on American corporate tech giants when they sold items over the Internet in France.

Trump tweeted that if Macron went ahead with this proposal, he Trump would impose a tariff on French wines when they were imported into America.

And then in the unkindest tweet of all, Trump had brutishly tweeted, “American wines are better than French wines.”

Now Macron sat at his desk drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Paul Masson wine.

. . .

“It was 20 years ago today that Malachi Martin the former Jesuit priest (who left the Jesuit order because it was too homosexual and too Marxist for his liking) and well known exorcist and popular best-selling author died,” Cardinal JM the head of the Vatican’s Secret Intelligence Service remarked to Samhain Cardinal Salaman a former professional stage magician turned Vatican cardinal.

“I remember hearing about that at the time,” Salaman remarked, “what caused his death?”.

“He apparently fell off a ladder while trying to retrieve a book from the top of his book shelf in his Manhattan New York apartment,” Cardinal JM sipped a Manhattan cocktail and ate a New York bagel, “although there are some people who believe he was pushed off that ladder.”

“By whom?” Cardinal Salaman asked.

“Well one theory is it was by demons,” Cardinal JM bit into a devilled egg, “and the other is it was by a priest or bishop or maybe even a cardinal who was full of the spirit of Vatican II.”

“I’ve heard that it was Malachi Martin’s book The Keys of This Blood that inspired Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to become a geopolitical analyst,” Cardinal Salaman sipped his coffee.

“I’ve heard that too,” Cardinal JM shrugged, “anyhow Malachi Martin’s July 27th 1999 death couldn’t have come at a better time for the Vatican.”

“Why is that?” Salaman ate his baked salmon.

“Well the Jubilee year of 2000 was approaching and many people were pissed that the Catholic Church had never released the Third Secret of Fatima which it was supposed to have done in 1960 according to the Virgin Mary’s instructions,” Cardinal JM started eating a Belgian waffle, “but the Vatican plan after John XXIII was only to release the vision associated with the Third Secret not the text (Mary’s spoken words) of the Secret itself. However that posed a problem after Malachi Martin (who was the secretary to the Vatican Jesuit Cardinal Augustin Bea in 1960) left the Jesuit order. Martin as secretary to Cardinal Bea had read the Third Secret although he had taken an oath not to reveal it. And he never did reveal it. Although he dropped vague hints as to what was in it when he appeared on Art Bell’s Coast-To-Coast AM radio program back in the late 1990s. So the Vatican could never release the vision of the Third Secret and claim it was the text (Mary’s actual words) while Martin was still alive because then Father Martin would have said that the Vatican was full of you know what.”

Cardinal JM wiped his mouth with a napkin after eating a chocolate covered figure of a bull.

“Why doesn’t the Vatican want the text (Mary’s words) of the Third Secret released?” Cardinal Salaman asked.

“Well of course the Vatican has no problem with the global war or the fire falling from heaven causing tsunamis of steam to fall across the nations of the world everywhere or millions of people dying by the minute that’s mentioned in the Third Secret,” Cardinal JM cheerfully ate a gingerbread horse of the Apocalypse, “what it does have a problem with is Mary saying that Satan will infiltrate to the very top of the Church itself. Catholics across the world might stop dropping their money in the collection plate if word on that got out.”

“A wise decision indeed,” Cardinal Salaman bit into his Montreal smoked meat sandwich.

. . .

Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol was in New York City.

What brought him to New York were appearances of notorious American lawyer Roy Cohn’s ghost appearing across the world.

Whitstable deduced that Hades and Persephone had granted Cohn’s ghost permission to leave the Underworld for some reason.

So Whitstable had gone to New York to find out more about Cohn’s background.

The Interpol detective knew that Cohn had been Chief Counsel to the notorious Wisconsin Senator Joe McCarthy back in the 1950s.

He had also represented and defended several New York City Italian crime family bosses back in the 1970s.

Whitstable was currently interviewing an old acquaintance of Cohn in a run down New York City apartment.

The informer wore an empty cement bag on his head and a pair of used Nike running shoes on his feet so he wouldn’t be recognized.

“Well, Roy died of AIDS back in 1986,” the informer said.

“AIDS?” Whitstable repeated the statement.

“But Roy wasn’t gay,” the informer stated emphatically, “he always said that he enjoyed having sex with men. But he always insisted that he wasn’t gay.”

“Okay,” Whitstable nodded.

“But Sen. Joe McCarthy was gay,” the informer went on, “Roy’s personal secretary mentioned that in the book she was going to publish had she lived. But McCarthy covered it up during his life time. Being gay was the kiss of death for a U.S. politician in the 1950s. Unlike today where it seems to be working out very well for the current Mayor of South Bend, Indiana.”

“So Cohn said that he enjoyed having sex with men,” Whitstable took notes, “were they all one night stands or did he ever have a long term relationship with a man?”.

“There was one he had,” the informer answered, “in fact Cohn said in a public interview back in 1980 that this man used to call him 18 to 20 times a day each day. So you can see how intense the relationship was. This man also said himself in a public interview back in 1980 that Cohn protected him to the point of viciousness.”

“Wow,” Whitstable agreed, “That does sound pretty intense. Who was this man?”.

“The current occupant of the Oval Office in the White House,” the informer replied.

Roy Cohn and a mascara and make-up wearing young Roman soldier Donald Trump having a gay old time at a New York City nightclub on Saturday June 24th 1972.
The photo accompanied a story in the New York City edition of The Times of London on Monday June 26th 1972.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 27th
2019.

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Miranda Singh and Renfield R. Renfield In Israel

June 7, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Miranda Singh and Renfield R. Renfield In Israel


Miranda Singh posing for Spanish fashion photographer Santiago Domingo

Miranda Singh the personal secretary to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was currently in Israel.

Ostensibly to spy for her boss’ former employee British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who sat on the British House of Commons Foreign Affairs Commitee).

Coincidentally Renfield himself was in Israel on an official fact finding mission for the British government.

As opposed to the unofficial fact finding mission she was on.

She would eventually be using the goddess Kali’s invisibility bracelets to spy on a secret meeting between the U.S., Israeli and Russian national security advisors in Israel.

Her cover story was that she was in Israel on a photo shoot for the famous Spanish fashion photographer Santiago Domingo.

She was currently in a Jerusalem swimming pool facility being photographed.

Accompanying her on this part of her mission was Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

As Miranda was sitting on a pool side deck chair being photographed by Señor Domingo, Dracul noticed a black panther swimming in the pool towards her direction.

Inclined to think such a thing suspicious, Van Helsing fired the arrow on his crossbow at the panther as it leapt out of the pool towards Miranda.

The arrow struck the panther in one of its front legs.

The panther quickly shapeshifted into a woman- who could have passed as an identical twin sister of the great 1940s French actress Simone Simon.

She had an arrow sticking out of her arm.

“Merde!” She said, “I don’t think my travellers’ insurance covers medical care costs in Israel.”

She went running out of the swimming pool facility.

. . .

“That’s so gay,” Renfield remarked as he entered Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s office and saw the Prime Minister bending over his desk with his pants down and his drawers open and being sodomized in the rear end by his newly appointed capital letter “G” (in the Alphabet Politburo of Western secular society) Justice Minister.

“Renfield!” Netanyahu’s face was ashen white, “Your appointment isn’t for another hour.”

“I knew I should have put a new battery in before I left London,” Renfield looked at his watch.

Netanyahu’s face was as red as a beet and he tried to explain, “This is my new Justice Minister whom I’ve named to avoid criminal prosecution on corruption charges.”

“I think I’d prefer criminal prosecution on corruption charges instead,” Renfield remarked as he hurriedly exited the office.

. . .

The year was 1960 and Jesuit priest Malachi Martin was watching actress Sophia Loren beating the boys at pool in a Rome billiards hall.

Father Martin who was heterosexual (unlike many of his compatriots in the Jesuit order) enjoyed watching Miss Loren play pool.

The priest looked at his watch.

He better get back to the Vatican where he served as personal Secretary to the powerful Jesuit cardinal Augustin Cardinal Bea.

Little did he realize when he got back to the office that he would be privileged to read the Third Secret of Fatima (a message delivered to three shepherd children by Mary the Mother of Jesus when she appeared at Fatima, Portugal back in 1917).

A message that both Pope John XXIII and Augustin Cardinal Bea had read.

A message that was supposed to be released to the world in 1960 but never was.

The Vatican claimed to have finally released the secret in June 2000 (11 months after Father Martin’s death) but it was only a vision associated with the message not the text of Mary’s words in the message itself.

Malachi Martin had taken an oath that day in 1960 never to reveal the Message.

Although he did strongly hint at its contents when he appeared on the Coast-To-Coast AM Radio Program with Art Bell back in the late 1990s.

And when asked by TV interviewer Merv Griffin back in the mid-1980s what was the most pressing issue of our time, Father Martin cryptically replied, “Russia and the role it plays in the future survival of the State of Israel.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Friday June 7th 
2019.

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Renfield R. Renfield Uncovers The 3rd Secret of Fatima

November 9, 2018 at 11:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations) (, , , , , )

Austrian Chancellor Sebastian Kurz made the announcement that a 70 year old retired Austrian colonel had been spying for the Russians since the early 1990s.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had heard from his sources about the spy even before Chancellor Kurz had.

Renfield also heard from those same sources that the retired Austrian colonel had in his briefcase a copy of the original Third Secret of Fatima (a prophecy about the future that was supposed to have been spoken by the Virgin Mary Mother of Jesus to 3 shepherd children at Fatima, Portugal 101 years ago back in 1917).

Italian journalist Antonio Socci had made the claim back in the last decade that the Vatican had only revealed the vision associated with the Third Secret back on June 26th 2000. It had never actually revealed the words spoken by Mary to the 3 children he claimed.

Renfield had heard that the text of Mary’s words from the 3rd Secret were among the documents to be found in the Austrian colonel’s briefcase.

Renfield had vowed to get his hands on that briefcase before the Russians or the Austrian authorities did.

As such he arranged for his ally the Ukrainian vampiress Inna Huculak of the Ukrainian Intelligence Service to steal the colonel’s briefcase and smuggle it across the border from Austria to Switzerland where Renfield’s personal brigade of British Army Gurkhas would be waiting for her.

And tonight in London on the 100th Anniversary of the Kaiser Wilhelm II’s abdication as Emperor of Germany and King of Prussia, British MP Renfield R. Renfield read the 3rd Secret of Fatima:

In Portugal the dogma of the Faith will always be preserved. If people do not repent and better themselves, God the Father will allow a terrible punishment to be inflicted on all humanity. A great war in the 21st Century launched by Satan’s partisans in the East will come. Those surviving will envy the dead. Death will briefly reign, raised to triumph by the brothers of death who seek to be masters of the whole earth. All the world will be thrown into great confusion. Fire and smoke will fall from heaven and waters from the ocean will turn to steam throwing their foam to the sky. Millions of people will die by the minute. The only arms of protection which will remain for you will be the Rosary and the Sign left by my Son (undoubtedly the Cross or the Crucifix the Austrian colonel had added in his own handwriting).
Each day recite the prayers of the Rosary. A time of very severe trial is coming for the Church. Satan will reign over the highest places and succeed in infiltrating to the very top of the Church. One third of the clergy will serve Satan. Entire nations will lose the Faith and many people on earth will be condemned to Hell. Cardinals will oppose cardinals and bishops will oppose bishops. Many rotten changes in Rome will be retained and the Church will become obscured. At last those who survive these events will repent and become true followers of Jesus Christ as before when the world was not so corrupted.
In the end, my Immaculate Heart will triumph, Russia will be truly converted and a period of peace will be granted to the world.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 9th
2018


The Ukrainian vampiress Inna Huculak smuggling the Austrian colonel spy’s briefcase under her dress from Austria into Switzerland.

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From Russia With… ?

October 9, 2018 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

From Russia With… ?

Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi) had been sent from Russia With Love 💕 to James Bond 007 (Sean Connery) in 1963.

55 years later, Vladimir Putin would be delivering a message to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu using the Russian vampiress FSB Agent Svetlana Kireeva as courier.

“Well, Svetlana,” Putin addressed the short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose wearing vampiress while holding a Cossack warrior’s fur hat on his lap to cover up his erection, “the message you deliver to Netanyahu will be the most earthshaking any leader has received since the Austro-Hungarian Empire delivered an ultimatum to the Kingdom of Serbia back in the early summer of 1914.”

“This means war then?” Svetlana had an orgasm in her panties as she thought of all that delicious blood flowing on the battlefield.

“Not if Netanyahu accepts our terms,” Putin answered, “there won’t be war in the Middle East at any rate.”

“But there may be war at Kiev?” Svetlana asked.

“Yes if Ukrainian President Petro Poroshenko insists on taking Church property away from the legitimate Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Moscow Patriarchate) and giving it to the Ukrainian Orthodox Church (Kiev Patriarchate) that was recently and illegally recognized as autocephalous by the schismatic Patriarch of Constantinople Bartholomew I who is undoubtedly a CIA agent in the pay of the Hillarybeast loving Democratic Party Deep State in the U.S. government, Kiev will be overrun with Russian Army paratroopers,” Putin plucked the strings on his violin 🎻.

“And what of Patriarch Bartholomew?” Svetlana asked.

“I intend to employ quite literal Byzantine intrigue in Bartholomew’s case,” Putin smiled like Anthony Perkins looking at a woman in the shower 🚿, “as you know it was the practice in Byzantine times to get rid of annoying Emperors and Patriarchs by poisoning their Communion wine at Mass which is probably why the Western Roman Church for centuries only allowed for Communion in one kind that being the bread (something regarded as outrageous to the 16th Century Protestant Reformers who had little understanding of Byzantine Imperial history). I shall revive this ancient Byzantine practice by arranging for Bartholomew’s Communion wine to be poisoned 🤢 when he says Mass sometime in the near future. This will give British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill something else to be angry about as they plot my own demise.”

“Won’t the U. S. respond angrily if we send Russian troops into Jerusalem and/or Kiev?” Svetlana asked as she orgasmed at the thought of eating a cream cheesed smothered bagel in Jerusalem.

“They will,” Putin admitted as he orgasmed under his Cossack hat as he watched Svetlana orgasm through her panties and pantyhose, “but U.S. foreign policy is now in disarray as a result of the only one who has a true understanding of global affairs in the entire Trump Administration U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley resigning. The Donald’s mind will be preoccupied these days as he tries to think up Tweets to come up with to explain the sudden departure of one of his sole competent officials from his Administration. When he finally does come up with an appropriate tweet in response, we in Moscow will already have taken control of western Ukraine 🇺🇦 including Kiev and Israel 🇮🇱 including Jerusalem.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 9th
2018.

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Friday The 13th: Dante’s Inferno On A Friday Night

July 13, 2018 at 10:21 pm (Commentary, Horror, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Theology) (, , , , )

Friday The 13th: Dante’s Inferno On A Friday Night

It was 101 years today on July 13th 1917 that the Virgin Mary Mother of Jesus showed the three shepherd children of Fatima Portugal a vision of Hell showing that Hell actually did exist.

Why was it necessary to show the children a vision of Hell when most Catholics and most Christians in 1917 actually believed in the existence of Hell?

The explanation was probably found in the Third Secret of Fatima.

According to Malachi Martin (who actually read the Third Secret but was under oath not to reveal it) when he appeared on the Art Bell Coast To Coast AM radio show back in the late 1990s, he told Bell that he could not reveal the secret but if any listener phoned in with the words of the Secret, he would not deny those weren’t the words.

When a caller phoned in and said that someday a Pope would be elected who was under the direct control of Satan, Father Martin said that was indeed part of the Third Secret.

When the Vatican supposedly released the Third Secret of Fatima back on June 26th 2000 (less than a year after Malachi Martin died in July 1999), those words about a “Pope being under the control of Satan” were found nowhere in the text released by the Vatican.

What might a Pope under the control of Satan do?

Well he might for example openly deny the existence of Hell.

So here it’s July 13th 2018- 101 years after the Virgin Mary showed the 3 shepherd children the actual existence of Hell.

You’ve got a Pope on the papal throne who on numerous occasions has denied the existence of Hell including a newspaper interview published back on Maundy Thursday this year (the day before Good Friday) in which he denied the existence of Hell.

And now it turns out this year that July 13th falls on a Friday night- Friday the 13th.

Here’s a photo montage music video I made 10 years ago called Dante’s Inferno On A Friday Night:

-A commentary written by
Christopher
Friday July 13th
2018.

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The Halloween Resurrection of Osiris

October 31, 2014 at 11:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Mystery/horror, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Halloween Resurrection of Osiris

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was at Interpol’s International Headquarters in Lyon, France.

He was viewing some videos on his office computer.

For a while now, Whitstable suspected that the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis was up to something in her secret laboratory below Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris.

His suspicions heightened when he videotaped the Vampiress Isis pushing Swiss scientist Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius to his death off the bell tower of Notre Dame Cathedral on the 1st of this month.

Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius landed on top of a Paris street corner poetry reciter who was reciting John Donne’s poem on For Whom The Bell Tolls at the time killing the poetic thespian in the process.

As Peter Whitstable was busy videotaping the whole thing and uploading it to his YouTube account, a young French woman standing next to him was busy calling 112 (the French emergencyonumber equivalent of the North American 911 emergency number) on her cell phone.

Whitstable saw the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec fly by as he was videotaping (quite literally fly by for the sexy evening dress wearing Vampiress suddenly turned from a beautiful woman into a midnight black vampire bat).

Then last Friday evening the 24th of October as he sat in a Parisienne cafe enjoying some fresh oysters and sipping champagne, he videotaped the Vampiress Isis having filet mignon and red Bordeaux wine with Dr. Cadbury Rocher the Chief Research Scientist for Set Enterprises in London.

He gathered while eavesdropping on their conversation that Dr. Cadbury Rocher no longer worked for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampire Set.

Apparently a dinner of steak and lobster, steak tartare and la viande de cheval at the St. James’ Court Hotel main dining room in London had gone horribly wrong the evening of Wednesday October 22nd 2014.

The result was Dr. Cadbury Rocher stood up at the table, quit his job and left (sticking the Vampire Set with the cheque).

As he exited, Dr. Rocher said he saw Dr. Henry Kissinger sitting at a table and overheard him tell former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin on his cell phone that she should really buy herself a nuclear radioactive protection suit and start learning Russian.

“We will deal with the Russians when the appropriate time comes,” Isis ground her Black Sea oyster into fine dust with her bright gold painted fingernails.

Dr. Rocher had accepted Isis’ dinner table offer to come work for her.

On condition that she provide him with the necessary funding for his latest pet project Pegasus- an effort to genetically create the winged horse of Classical Greek mythology.

Isis agreed but first Dr. Rocher must for her re-assemble the sub-atomic particles of her brother, husband and lover Osiris and put them back together again.

Osiris had been vapourized into non-existence by a laser death ray fired at his returning spaceship by a Russian submarine when he attempted to return to Earth on December 21st 2012.

Hence Isis’ intense hatred of Vladimir Putin’s Russia.

. . .

Cardinal JM was gazing at a mysterious envelope placed on his desk in his Vatican office.

He did not recognize the handwriting on the envelope.

And he had no idea who put it there.

For his own personal secretary Father Oliver Thomas Wardenclyffe had gone down to Rome’s Sexually Transmitted Diseases Clinic for some reason.

Cardinal JM used his 3-headed dog Cerberus letter opener to open the envelope.

He reached inside.

What he read shocked him.

For it purported to be the text of The Third Secret of Fatima.

Although Cardinal JM did not personally believe in the apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary said to have appeared to three shepherd children near the village of Fatima, Portugal on 6 different occasions from May 13th to October 13th 1917 (although he never publicly expressed those views aloud during the pontificates of Popes John Paul II and Benedict XVI), what he read still intrigued him immensely.

Ever since Italian journalist Antonio Socci published his book The Fourth Secret of Fatima back in 2006, people had always wondered about Socci’s claim that it was only the “vision” associated with the Third Secret that the Vatican had released to the public back on June 26th 2000.

In the previous Two Secrets of Fatima, there were visions that the 3 children at Fatima were alleged to have seen and then there were accompanying texts- words alleged to have been spoken by the Virgin Mary to the 3 children explaining what the visions meant.

But in the Third Secret that the Vatican released back in 2000, there was only a “vision”- a vision of a Bishop dressed in white climbing up a steep mountain at the top of which was a big Cross of rough-hewn trunks- while climbing the mountain, the Bishop in White passed through a big city half in ruins and when he reached the top of the mountain- as he was on his knees at the foot of the Cross- he was killed by a group of soldiers who fired bullets and arrows at him.

But there was no text released- or words by the Virgin Mary explaining to the 3 children at Fatima what the vision meant.

Now here in front of him were supposedly the words (accompanying the vision) that were spoken by the Virgin Mary to the 3 shepherd children at Fatima.

Hm.

Very interesting.

As a worshipper of the Ancient Greek gods (in secret of course!), Cardinal JM longed to see such chaos in the Church and the world that the worship of the ancient gods would be restored to bring back stability.

Let’s say he were to fax a copy of the contents of this envelope to say… Russian President Vladimir Putin… would that not bring about the chaos in the Church and the world that he longed to see?

Cardinal JM went over to his old photocopier and copied the document that was inside the sealed envelope.

Then he went over to his fax machine and faxed the copy to Vladimir Putin’s office in the Kremlin.

He then stood at his office window overlooking Saint Peter’s Square.

He noticed a figure in the street below his window wearing a black Venetian masquerade mask, a black cape, a black hat and holding a black walking stick.

The figure looked up at Cardinal JM and spoke in a whisper.

But the words of the whisper seemed to echo through Saint Peter’s Square.

“Jacques de Molay, thou art avenged!”.

. . .

Renfield R. Renfield went to see his friend Amadeus Emanon in the hospital on this Halloween night.

For Amadeus was still in hospital recovering from shrapnel wounds he received when Renfield led a commando rescue mission on a Cornwall farmhouse to, as the British media put it, “Free his friend from the ISIS terrorists who were holding him hostage here in this sceptered isle.”

Renfield figured his friend would probably be feeling depressed because normally Amadeus liked going out trick or treating on Halloween night.

Renfield brought along a bag of chocolate bar and candy treats that Watson Holmes the Executive Vice-President of Set Enterprises had sent along as a gift for Amadeus.

He also brought along a pumpkin pie that had been baked for Amadeus by Miss Miranda Singh the secretary and office manager for Watson Holmes.

As his own gift Renfield brought along a couple of videos- the 1982 film Halloween III: Season of the Witch and the 1993 film The Nightmare Before Christmas for them to watch together as they ate the Halloween treats and the pumpkin pie.

Renfield also brought along a poster that said Halloween At The Hindenburg (The Hindenburg was a nightclub on Canada’s West Coast) and hung it on the wall in Amadeus’ room.

“Ever since a friend of mine sent me this poster a few weeks ago, I thought it would be cool to dress a dirigible up as the Hindenburg on Halloween and re-enact that May 1937 airship disaster,” Renfield beamed as he looked at the poster.

He then put on the video Halloween III: Season of the Witch for them to watch.

Outside Amadeus’ hospital window, a witch flew by on a broomstick.

. . .

Inside the secret laboratory of the Vampiress Isis below Notre Dame Cathedral, Dr. Cadbury Rocher was putting the finishing touches on all the equipment.

Rocher had discovered that the problem Isis and the late Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius had in trying to re-assemble the sub-atomic particles of Osiris was that they were not working with an original ET gray’s laser death ray gun.

They were working with a 3-D printer copy of an original.

And Dr. Rocher knew this because he recognized the gun as one he had made with a 3-D printer he had invented.

As brilliant as Dr. Cadbury Rocher was, even he hadn’t reached the level of intellectual sophistication of the ET grays he had to admit.

But Rocher knew how to get the original.

He knew where Renfield R. Renfield kept it on the Set Enterprises premises.

Isis passed this information along to her London private eye gumshoe spy Randall Hopkins who broke into Set Enterprises and stole the original ET gray’s laser death ray gun.

Now with the original in his possession, Rocher fired the laser death ray at the spot in the lab which held the sub-atomic particles of Osiris and then through the use of electromagnets, he reversed the flow of the ray.

Sure enough the sub-atomic particles of Osiris re-assembled themselves and came together again.

Isis shrieked with ecstasy.

Then she looked on in horror.

The sub-atomic particles of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl also started to re-assemble themselves (Quetzalcoatl was the spiritual godfather of her female vampiric arch-enemy and rival the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec).

Isis had forgotten that Quetzalcoatl’s returning spaceship had also been destroyed by the Russian submarine’s laser death ray.

And of course Quetzalcoatl’s sub-atomic particles would also have been collected along with Osiris’ when Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius was using his small scale working model of the CERN Large Hadron Collider to collect sub-atomic particles along the beach at Vancouver’s English Beach after the laser attack on the returning spaceships.

Osiris looked down at his re-assembled body and then screamed.

Dr. Cadbury Rocher looked down at the mathematical equation of the re-assembly process he had scribbled on a notepad and suddenly, noticing a slight miscalculation, said in a very very low voice, “Oops.”

“Of all the cosmic bad luck,” the ancient Egyptian vampire cried out in anguish, “it’s once again my phallus that’s missing whenever I’m put back together again.”

Isis screamed as well.

Her valet Cedarman who was on his cell phone immediately cancelled the order of Viagra he had placed on his mistress’ orders to celebrate this happy occasion.

Quetzalcoatl roared and breathed fire.

He then flapped his wings and flew out the air vent of the secret underground laboratory.

He made the air vent a lot larger by doing so due to his enormous size.

As he flew out over the City of Paris, he passed by a dirigible made up to look like the 1930s German airship The Hindenburg.

The Halloween Hindenburg burst into flames near the top of the Eiffel Tower.

To be continued.

-A Halloween vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
during the time period
Thursday October 30th
to
Friday October 31st
2014.

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