Tartarus Bound and The Keys

September 18, 2020 at 10:22 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

As the three headed dog Cerberus led the late U.S. Associate Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to her rotating barbeque spit over an open fire in Tartarus where she’d be spending her next eternity, three other figures had just been granted a one year dispensational leave from their rotating barbeque spits in Tartarus.

Pope Francis, who had actually lost the Keys of Saint Peter several years ago but didn’t bother relaying that message to Hades the Greek god of the Underworld, had communicated with the cthonic deity to release the three figures.

Bergoglio had communicated with Hades via a Rome based spiritist medium Sophia de Medici.


Sophia de Medici: Who did not feel at all threatened, sexually harrassed or lusted at by the men who worked in Pope Francis’ Vatican.

Later after the three figures arrived in Rome, Pope Francis had a Zoom conference video meeting with powerful figures from around the globe.

Meanwhile British MP Renfield R. Renfield was informing the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set that the term “Great Reset” was a globalist code word for establishing a One World Marxist Leninist government.

Earlier this week Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Ethiopian Communist who headed WHO (the World Health Organization) said that the current crisis would not end “with a vaccine but only with a total reorganization of society. We can never go back to the way things were before.”

Renfeld told Set: “That’s globalist code for freedom is permanently dead.”

The Sodom and Gomorrah admiring Italian-American physician Dr. Anthony Fauci (medical darling of the mainstream Marxist media) also talked about the need for combating climate change and for redistributing the world’s wealth (although by that he didn’t mean his own personal wealth would be available for redistribution- notation by Renfield).

Flaky Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi blamed both the CCP Wuhan virus and the California wildfires on climate change.

“Mother Earth is mad at us!” Said the San Francisco Congresswoman while sporting a Medusa serpentine hairdo.

Likewise conceited, pompous and arrogant California Gov. Gavin Newsom blamed the California wildfires on climate change.

Just as the latest California wildfire was being started by fireworks going off at a gender reveal party in the woods.

Certainly one fiery revelation to say the least!

At the Davos Forum in Switzerland earlier this year, George Soros told participants that this year must mark the start of the “Great Reset”.

Now George Soros, Bill Gates, American economist Jeffrey Sachs and U-2 singer Bono were in a Zoom video conference with Pope Francis.

“Gentlemen,” Pope Francis held his hammer and sickle crucifix given him as a gift by Evo Morales the former Marxist President of Bolivia, “I have asked Hades to release three spirits from Tartarus for an entire year to help us as we launch the Great Reset.”

The ghosts of Lenin, Stalin and Mao Tse-tung stepped forward into the room where the Unholy Father was addressing his fellow Zoom conference participants.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 18th
2020.

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Pan Goatee, Krampus and The 200th Anniversary of King George III’s Death

January 29, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, History, International Intrigue, Literature, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee, Krampus and The 200th Anniversary of King George III’s Death

Pan Goatee was enjoying an egg salad sub sandwich that he had bought from the Subway in the local shopping mall food court.

When he had finished the sandwich, he was going to buy himself a dozen Subway cookies for $6.

Just then an ugly looking female member of the ISIS Islamic State went up to the Subway with her detonation belt.

Goatee quickly beheaded the ugly looking creature before she could do any damage.

Although she had already caused a great deal of damage to the aesthetic environment with her ugliness.

Goatee then cut her up into 999 trillion pieces with his astral laser machete.

Rats recently released from the 1971 American horror film Willard in a repertory theatre then ate the ugly looking female suicide bomber.

They then vomited in nearby washrooms.

Goatee received a text message from the demon goat Krampus.

Krampus told Goatee that he had recently developed an allergy to the musical melody of the Johann Strauss waltz The Blue Danube whenever it was played.

“Wow, what a bummer,” Goatee stated sympathetically.

. . .

Today was the 200th Anniversary of King George III’s death.

And as such, Hades the god of the Underworld had granted the ghost of King George III a temporary dispensation to leave the Underworld.

As Cerberus was busy licking up the salt remains of Lot’s wife at the entrance/exit to the Underworld, the English poets Robert Southey and Lord Byron both stood there weeping at the cave of Hades/Sheol as they watched the late King George III of England leave (albeit only for a day).

Southey and Byron were not weeping over the late George III’s temporary absence but over the fact that both poets were wrong over their respective visions of judgment of King George III’s soul.

For George III had not entered heaven according to either man’s poetic thesis but was rather still currently spending a lot more time in Purgatory than either poet imagined (since neither Southey nor Byron had believed in Purgatory in their mortal lives).

The only people who were more upset than Southey or Byron at George III leaving Purgatory were the Puritan founders of America (who were mainly upset by the fact that Purgatory existed).

Hades and Persephone, after consultation with various devils and fallen angels, had come to the conclusion that the greatest Purgatorial punishment for the Puritans was for the ghost of Hamlet’s father King Hamlet of Denmark to drop by on a daily basis (as they were roasting away on their barbecue spits) and bang his staff (borrowed from Tolkien’s Middle Earth hero Gandalf) and announce to them, “The Bard was right. The Bard was right.” 

He would then break into his speech that he had once delivered to young Hamlet,

“I am thy father’s spirit,
Doomed for a certain term to walk the night
And for the day confined to fast in fires,
Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature 
Are burnt and purged away.”

And then as ever on a daily basis, Oliver Cromwell was cut up and put into an Irish shepherd’s pie and roasted in the oven.

Only to be repeated the next day.

George III spent his 200th deathday watching the impeachment trial of Donald Trump in the U.S. Senate while sitting next to U.S. Chief Justice John Roberts in the Senate chamber.

“So, this is what Washington and Jefferson and Ben Franklin’s project has come to,” George III laughed as he drank his now tax free ghostly tea rescued from the bottom of Boston Harbour.

As for Ben Franklin and his friend the English aristocratic rake Sir Francis Dashwood, they no longer found the terms “Members of the Hellfire Club” so funny anymore.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 29th
2020.

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The Controller of The Golem In Prague

August 19, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Controller of The Golem In Prague

The Mossad agent code named the Controller of The Golem stood on the Charles Bridge in Prague the capital of the Czech Republic.

The Charles Bridge had been built back in 1357 by Charles IV the King of Bohemia and the Holy Roman Emperor.

The Controller was to meet in a rendezvous with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Back on February 19th of this year, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith while wearing a Karl Lagerfeld evening gown had, with the help of a hypnotized Count Dracula, stolen the inanimate body of the Golem of Prague from the invisible corner of the attic of Prague’s Old New Synagogue.

The inanimate body of the Golem of Prague was being held for ransom on the vampiress Lilith’s heavily guarded country estate outside Astana Kazakhstan.

Earlier today however Lilith had sent an encrypted coded message to the Controller of the Golem saying that she would return the Golem’s inanimate body to him tonight on the Charles Bridge in Prague with no questions asked.

The Controller naturally expected a trap which was why he was wearing a bullet proof vest as he walked across the bridge.

It was then that the Controller recognized a large centaur walking at an easy pace across the bridge.

The Controller of the Golem recognized the centaur as Acheronus a centaur who came from Acheron the River of Woe in the Underworld of Hades.

An eccentric Interpol friend of the Controller- Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol- had sent the Mossad agent a picture of the equine-homo sapien hybrid beast from Hades earlier this year.

The Controller did not pay much attention to the Centaur as Acheronus was mainly known for shooting and killing climate change deniers, people who pollute the environment and U.S. country club Republicans with his poisonous bows and arrows.

Imagine the Controller’s surprise therefore when a poisoned arrow came right through his bullet proof vest (which wasn’t arrow proof).

The Controller of the Golem collapsed at the foot of the Crucifix on the Charles Bridge in Prague.

. . .

The Mossad agent code named Star of Azazel received a text message from Hephaestus the blacksmith of the Greek gods.

Hephaestus who was currently working on a pair of horse shoes for Acheronus the Centaur informed Star of Azazel that the centaur assassin’s mission seemed to be a success.

Star of Azazel (who knew the codes for supposedly encrypted messages from the vampiress Lilith to Mossad) smiled.

His fellow agent the Controller of the Golem could have been a major pain in the ass in this matter of the mysterious death of Jeffrey Epstein.

. . .

The Controller of The Golem raised his head above the pavement and looked up at the figure of Christ on the Crucifix.

The Controller found it ironic that Acheronus would shoot at him so that he would fall at this particular spot.

“Maybe you really are The Lord after all, Yeshua,” the Controller said thinking about his grandmother.

His grandmother had converted to Christianity before she died and so was considered the black sheep of the family.

Just before he left his Prague hotel room for his supposed meeting with Lilith on the Charles Bridge, a pterodactyl drone (invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher) had tapped his robotic reptilian beak and robotic reptilian claws on his hotel room window.

When he opened the window, the pterodactyl drone presented him with a handwritten note from his friend Dr. Cadbury Rocher as well as a package containing a vest.

The note from Dr. Rocher read, “Please wear this poisoned arrow proof vest under your bullet proof vest for your meeting on the Charles Bridge tonight. Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster recommends it as he just received a vision of treachery and skulduggery.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 19th
2019.

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July 20th 2019: A Very Historic Anniversary

July 20, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Humour, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

July 20th 2019: A Very Historic Anniversary 

July 20th is a significant date in world history.

It was on this date in 356 BC that Alexander the Great was born.

It was 75 years ago today (on July 20th 1944) that the German colonel Count Claus von Stauffenburg tried to assassinate Adolf Hitler in the plot known as Operation Valkyrie.

And it was 50 years ago today (on July 20th 1969) that Neil Armstrong spoke these words from the moon after the Apollo 11 Eagle had landed, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”

On this day July 20th 2019, Alexander the Great’s half-sister Thessalonike of Macedon (who had turned into a mermaid after hearing of her brother’s death) was swimming in the Mediterranean Sea not far from the Egyptian city of Alexandria when an ancient shield happened to float by.

“It’s my brother’s shield!” She cried.

Just then the British destroyer The H.M.S. Balderdash happened to go by en route to the Suez Canal to the Indian Ocean and through the Strait of Hormuz to the Persian Gulf where it would attempt a rescue of the British oil tanker Stena Impero recently seized by Iran.

Thessalonike then posed the same question to the sailors aboard the H.M.S. Balderdash that she posed to the sailors aboard every ship that she had encountered throughout the centuries.

“Is Alexander the King alive?” She asked.

“Which Alexander the King would that be?” Asked Lt. Chamberlain Neville of the H.M.S. Balderdash.

“Alexander the Great, you idiot!” Thessalonike spat seaweed at him.

The correct answer as far as Thessalonike the mermaid was concerned was “He lives and reigns and conquers the world.”

The captain of the ship H.M.S. Balderdash who was none other than Gladstone Disraeli answered, “No, Alexander the Great died centuries ago in the year 323 BC.”

“Wrong answer!” Thessalonike foamed at the mouth spraying sea foam in every direction.

She then turned into a raging Gorgon tearing apart the ship and sending it and every sailor aboard to the bottom of the sea.

Trump would later blame the incident on the Iranians.

Meanwhile the Grey Wolf Formerly Known As Adolf (because it was a grey wolf possessed by the ghost of Adolf Hitler who had been let out of the Underworld a few years ago by Hades and Persephone at the request of the Norse-Germanic god Odin/Wotan) was walking the streets of Saint Petersburg Russia.

“I thought this place was supposed to be called Leningrad,” Adolf thought to himself as he looked at all the street signs.

“And to think I should have taken possession of this city but I failed!” Adolf snarled.

Meanwhile on the moon this day, the demon Asmodeus was walking around because he had never been to the moon and he figured since humans went to the moon, he might as well.

Of course Asmodeus had never learned to fly.

He had skipped the Demonic Learning To Fly Class back in Hell High School because he had been outside smoking cigarettes.

So the chain smoking demon asked the two high flying owls (who were companions to the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith) to grab hold of each one of his arms and fly him to the moon.

Now he was walking around the moon’s surface.

Unbeknownst to Asmodeus, the Norse trickster god Loki had been walking around the moon earlier that day (having been flown to the moon through the help of Valkyries).

Loki had eaten a banana while on the moon and had thrown the peel behind him.

As Asmodeus walked along smoking and coughing and singing that old Frank Sinatra song Fly Me To The Moon, he wasn’t watching where he was going.

The chain smoking demon slipped on the banana.

After hitting backside down on the lunar surface, Asmodeus remarked, “That’s one small slip for a banana, one giant pain in the ass for demonkind.”

The Chinese moon goddess Chang’e and the Moon Rabbit remind you:
Only you can prevent lunar fires.
Always douse your campfire and be careful with your cigarette butts.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Saturday July 20th
2019.

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At The End of The Day: A Carson Cody Albion Private Eye Poem

January 7, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

At the end of the day, walking in an empty house
where gods and goddesses play
for this is Hollywood’s way
I’m not the one making the rules
I just follow them like most fools

No mortal may apply here
For the Silver Screen
is gateway to Eden’s lie
Thou shall not surely die
for you live forever on celluloid
where your soul goes is anyone’s guess
Just smile at the camera at your screen test

As Carson Cody Albion Private Eye walked the house,
these words echoed through his mind.


Persephone Queen of The Underworld waits at the bar with drink

A pomegranate liqueur perhaps, Mr.Albion?
She spoke with the purr of a cat and the splash of a fish.

Albion continued on.

Atargatis stood in the Asian room.

So mortal like.
So unmermaid like.
And surely no deadly siren call?

“Who should I rub for luck?” Atargatis sang, “The Buddha? Or you, Mr. Albion?”.

In the fireside room, Semiramis waited on leopardskin rug
while embers of long dead languages flickered off the log
that was a sideways leaning towering inferno of babel

“Come sit by the fire, Mr. Albion,” Semiramis purred, “and choose the cat you want to play with.”

Albion continued walking.

This time to the bedroom.

Where once again Persephone Queen of The Underworld was waiting for him

“Come in, Mr. Albion. Come in and explore my depths.”

-A private eye poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 7th
2019.

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