Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu Makes An Amazing Discovery

October 17, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Comedy, Culture, Gothic, Horror, Humour, Literature, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu, who drank red wine (unlike Bela Lugosi’s Dracula), was in the study of Transylvania’s Castle Dracula where she had made an amazing discovery:

Mei-ling Manchu: This is very interesting…

Mei-ling Manchu: Apparently writer Truman Capote did not write In Cold Blood…

Mei-ling Manchu: He wrote in… ink.

Mei-ling Manchu: However the same won’t be said about me.

-A vampiress Mei-ling Manchu
Halloween photo montage
written by Christopher
Sunday October 17th
2021.

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Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou Released From Canada and Communist China Releases The Two Michaels In Return

September 24, 2021 at 11:41 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Following a plea bargain with the U.S. Justice Department, Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou has had extradition charges against her in Canada dropped and she has now returned to China.

After the release of Meng Wanzhou, the People’s Republic of China released the men who were called the Two Michaels- Canadian citizens Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor who were arrested by Chinese authorities in December 2018 just days after the arrest of Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport in British Columbia, Canada.

The two Michaels were held in solitary confinement for over 1,000 days.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield explained to his friend Amadeus Emanon the background of the deal.

Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the vampiress granddaughter of Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh) who was now a secret agent for the Republic of Taiwan had taken senile old fool Joe Biden’s perverted son Hunter Biden hostage.

A tearful Hunter Biden had called his father Joe, “Dad, there’s a Vietnamese vampiress here who’s threatening to crush my tiny testicles unless you pressure the Department of Justice to drop all criminal charges against Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou. Dad, do what you can. I need my tiny testicles to be able to sleep with underage Asian girls.”

“Don’t worry, son,” Joe maneuvered to get his stuffed dead German shepherd dog Champ off his leg while he sat on the toilet, “I’ll do everything in my power to save your tiny testicles or I wasn’t elected President of the United States.”

“I wish you wouldn’t use that analogy, Dad,” Hunter Biden cried, “Because you weren’t elected President of the United States.”

“Oh,” Joe Biden looked down as Champ finally let go of his leg.

“Jill,” Joe called after his wife, “How many vaccine injections has Champ had?”.

“Way, way beyond the now FDA approved third booster shot,” Jill called out.

“Oh, because he’s starting to remind me of the cat buried in that cemetery and ancient burial ground in the very first movie version made of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary,” Joe said.

Moving with the speed of a ruler in a despotic Stalinist state (which the U.S.A. had now become), Joe got on the phone to the Department of Justice.

Saying that he was going to sign an Executive Order ordering that all Department of Justice employees undergo mandatory vasectomies and tubal ligations or be fired (just like he had ordered mandatory vaccinations for all U.S. federal government employees).

He would not sign the Executive Order if they reached a plea bargain deal with Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou however.

The U.S. Department of Justice reached a plea bargain deal with Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou.

Now all that remained was for Communist China to release the two Michaels.

Communist China’s Supreme Leader the Neo-Maoist self-proclaimed god and Emperor of Dialectical Materialist Heaven Xi Jinping however decided he wouldn’t release the Two Michaels right away.

“That pompous pipsqueak and pansy Justin Trudeau needs to be taught a lesson,” Xi fumed as he ate an overdone egg roll, “I’ll keep them in jail for another year and then I’ll release them. Just to be petty about it.”

After shooting his egg roll chef, Xi Jinping suddenly found his tiny testicles in the grip of a pair of pliers wielded by Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (a former CCP Communist and current member of the Chinese Constantinian Blue Willow Milvian Bridge Freedom Fighters).

Xi spoke to his Supreme Leader reflection in his Maleficent magic mirror.

“Oh great Supreme Leader,” Xi spoke in a high-pitched soprano like voice, “The vampiress Mei-ling Manchu is threatening to crush my tiny testicles unless I release the Two Michaels- Canadian citizens Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor that I took as hostages after the brainless Canadian Federal Government stupidly arrested Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou on behalf of their Fascist-Nazi-Soviet Stalinist American Deep State overlords. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was willing to move Heaven and Earth and Hell in interfering with the Canadian judicial system in order to save a corrupt Quebec construction firm from criminal prosecution (which led to the resignation of Canada’s first indigenous First Nations peoples Minister of Justice Jody Wilson-Raybould from cabinet because she refused to go along with her boss the failed Al Jolson minstrel show impersonator’s despicable plan). But Trudeau was not willing to move Heaven and Earth and Hell in interfering with the Canadian judicial system to ensure the Two Michaels’ release from China.”

“What are you asking me to do?” Xi’s reflection in the mirror yawned as he ate an overdone egg roll and then shot the reverse image egg roll chef.

“To order the release of Canadians Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor- the Two Michaels- from prison and return them to Canada. Otherwise my tiny testicles will be crushed and I won’t be able to have sex with anyone,” Xi wept.

Xi’s Supreme Leader mirror reflection consented to Xi’s request and ordered the release of the two Canadians.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield then had a late Friday evening dinner with vampiresses Ho Babylon Minh and Mei-ling Manchu in the restaurant atop the Eiffel Tower.

The gothic trio pushed some Neo-Vichy Paris policemen to their deaths when the latter group raised a fuss about the former not having any vaccine passports identification.

Mei-ling Manchu visiting Castle Dracula in Transylvania earlier this summer.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 24th
2021.

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Xi’s Overindulgence In Egg Rolls Leads To Nightmares

June 4, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Musicians at a Hong Kong concert for the victims of the June 4th 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre.

Xi Jinping the despotic and genocidal Communist dictator of the People’s Republic of China had overindulged in egg rolls with extra sweet plum sauce this evening.

As the result of his overindulgence began to weigh on his stomach, Xi turned on the television.

To his horror, he stumbled across a channel that had the audacity to show an illegal concert being held in Hong Kong tonight to commemorate the victims of the June 4th 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre.

The musician on the right was Xi’s notable enemy the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu.

The sight of vampiress Mei-ling Manchu a notable enemy of the Chinese Communist Party performing at an illegal concert in Hong Kong commemorating the 32nd anniversary of the Tiananmen Square Massacre was too much for Xi to handle.

After putting in a phone call ordering that the programming manager of the TV channel that had broadcast the illegal concert commemorating the Tiananmen Square Massacre be immediately shot by firing squad, Xi took a sleeping pill and went to bed.

In his dream, Xi dreamed that he was a captive of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Now,” said Renfield, “I want you to sign this confession admitting that the Covid-19 virus was released by the Wuhan Institute of Virology.”

“Never,” Xi refused.

“That sleeping pill you took earlier was no sleeping pill,” Renfield grinned, “Mei-ling Manchu substituted pills designed to give one a heart atack. I won’t call an ambulance to help you unless you sign a confession.”

Xi started clutching his chest as he began to feel the onset of a heart attack.

“I got the idea from watching an episode of the American soap opera The Young and The Restless,” Renfield sipped a martini with two olives and a twist of lemon, “Ashlyn Locke tried to renege on a business deal with Victor Newman in the Newman home. He suddenly started having a heart attack in the Newman living room because he had found out a couple of hours earlier that his wife Tara had had an affair with Kyle Abbott. As Locke started keeling over from the heart attack, he asked Victor Newman to call him an ambulance. Victor said he’d only call him an ambulance if he signed the contract selling Xerxes Media to him Victor Newman. Finally Locke signed just before keeling over. And then Victor called the ambulance. I suggest you might want to sign this confession before that happens to you.”

“Never,” Xi fell on his knees to the floor.

At that moment, the body of Dr. Anthony Fauci is carried out on a stretcher.

“Look and beware,” Renfield pointed at Fauci’s body, “He refused to sign a confession admitting that he had funded gain of function research at the Wuhan Institute of Virology. And now he’s no more. No doubt there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth in the newsrooms of CNN, The New York Times and The Washington Post when they hear the news.”

“I shall never sign,” Xi keeled over and died of a heart attack.

The Chinese Communist despot then dreamed he was thrown into the fires of Tartarus.

“But wait,” Xi cried as the flames of Hell began licking his body, “The Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg said that there would be a void after death not this.”

Xi’s screams echoed through eternity.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 4th
2021.

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Mei-ling Manchu and A Clockwork Orange

April 13, 2021 at 10:41 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had met vampiress Mei-ling Manchu yesterday at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. And B. (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing, China.

There Renfield had given Mei-ling Manchu the bomb that Set Enterprises’ chief acientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had invented and designed to kill Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

The bomb was called A Clockwork Orange and it was a cuckoo clock made out of mandarin oranges.

When the orange clock timed and chimed the hour, a cuckoo bird bearing the head of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau emerged from the top part of the clock and said “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!”.

The bottom sides of the cuckoo clock would open immediately afterwards and a medieval knight who looked like a young Malcolm McDowell (as the British actor would have looked in about 1971) would then chase a figure of the despotic Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II around until he finally beheaded him.

When this happened, the cuckoo bird with Justin Trudeau’s head would emerge from the top part of the clock for one final “Cuckoo!” before Justin’s head would fall on to the track below where a train blowing “Choo! Choo!” would run over his head.

The whole complex scenario with cast of characters would be played all over again an hour later when the orange clock timed and chimed the next hour.

The idea and inspiration for the clock had come from the dazzling imagination of Renfield R. Renfield himself although the mechanisms for the clock (made out of a particularly hard variety of Dr. Cadbury Rocher developed mandarin oranges) were made by Dr. Rocher.

The Clockwork Orange device itself had been fitted with an unusual tracking mechanism designed to detect the particular individual DNA of Xi Jinping himself within a distance of one foot.

The device would then go off as a bomb killing Xi instantly.

In the meantime, other people could enjoy the splendid mechanisms and unique mechanical performances hour upon the hour of the Clockwork Orange contraption until such time as it wound up in the presence of Xi.

Then it would be like that old 1960s TV commercial for a now defunct brand of toilet paper called Zee in which children’s voices at the end of the commercial said, “Mommy, there’s no more Zee.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 13th
2021.

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Mei-ling Manchu At The Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B In Beijing

April 12, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B in Beijing

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu was waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing.

Mei-ling Manchu had once been a loyal follower of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).

But during the last decade she had come to realize that the CCP had only increasd misery not alleviated it.

For the real purpose of the CCP had been, like that of Communist parties everywhere, to crush the human soul.

Having once been a dialectical materialist, she had not believed in the existence of the human soul.

But in the dissidents she had occasionally met over the years, those dissidents who had stood up against the CCP regime in Beijing, she had come to realize that the human soul and the human spirit did exist in those dissidents.

Those who continued to follow the regime, followed its despotic decrees day by day and meekly accepted the CCP’s diabolic Social Credit score were allowing their souls day by day to die little by little.

Until one day their souls were no more.

And they were just human fleshed cogs in a CCP machine who’d one day be replaced by robot cogs in the machine as the Transhumanism of the new Xi Jinping inspired CCP Transhumanism and the Transhumanism of the western globalist technocratic Fascism of the capitalist West merged into one.

What was killing the souls of the once great Chinese people was now killing the souls of people across the globe.

For lockdowns and isolation and the creation of a two-tiered system of people via vaccine passports was spreading throughout the world.

And most did not resist.

For their souls had been killed by the diabolical dialectic materialism of monopolistic capitalism with its greed and avarice (what Saint Paul had dubbed “the love of money” which the Apostle had further noted was “the root of all evil”).

Like Esau in the Bible who had sold his inheritance for a bowl of pottage, so the peoples of the West had sold their inheritance (their souls) for a bowl of pottage (whatever little bits of slop their globalist technocratic masters threw at them as long as they kept on their masks, practiced their social distancing and continued their OCD continuous handwashing).

The Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. in Beijing was owned by Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

He had been granted permission to open this B. and B. by Chinese Premier Chou En-lai back in the early 1970s.

As David Cheung the owner of Edmonton’s Pearl River Restaurant had once told a young University student (today a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield) that when Chou died “the people of China wept both in public and in private but when Mao died they wept in public but not in private”).

The inference being that Chou did have the interests of the Chinese people at heart even though he had mistakenly chosen the philosophy of Marxism-Leninism to bring about a better society.

While Mao did not have the interests of the Chinese people at heart.

He was a megalomaniac who craved power for power’s sake.

Just like today Xi Jinping was a 2nd Mao Tse-tung.

Chou and Yaldabaoth had once made their own recipe a Peking Duck Irish Stew together and Chou had let Yaldabaoth have this property as his reward.

And today Mei-ling Manchu was meeting British MP Renfield R. Renfield at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. to put the final touches on their plan to kill Xi Jinping.

Renfield, who had disappeared from public sight in Britain last week, had in fact been flying the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s invisible dirigible airship The Claude Rains and Lamont Cranston Project One over to China.

Renfield and Mei-ling greeted one another with a hug and a kiss and then went into the B. and B.

“Mei-ling,” Renfield inquired, “Sherrielock Holmes was telling me about anassignment she had once done for Britain’s MI-6. The matter apparently involved then California U.S. Republican Senatorial candidate Richard M. Nixon and yourself. She had hired a Los Angeles private eye Carson Cody Albion to see what was going on. Apparently Albion discovered that you had failed in your attempt to seduce Nixon.”

“I did not fail,” Mei-ling said, “It turns out that Nixon, despite his many faults, was at least loyal and faithful to his wife which is not true of most male politicians of whatever political stripe in the U.S.A.”.

“So you got nothing out of your encounter?” Renfield sipped his cup of green tea.

“I did hypnotize him with a Ming dynasty pocket watch- the first pocket watch ever invented,” Mei-ling noted, “I said whenever he heard a German wearing glasses singing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories, then he was to open up diplomatic relations with the government of the People’s Republic of China. One of our operatives Ho Babylon Minh hypnotized Dr. Henry Kissinger via use of a blow job to sing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories at a White House gala in early 1971. That set everything in motion. Nixon in a live TV address on July 15th 1971 announced that he would be visiting the People’s Republic of China.”

As Mei-ling Manchu tossed a 1000-Year-Old egg into a nearby garbage can, Renfield wondered to himself, “I wonder who got the best end of the stick? Nixon or Kissinger?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 12th
2021.

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215 Years Since Napoleon Bonaparte’s Coronation In Notre Dame Cathedral

December 2, 2019 at 11:57 pm (Fantasy, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

215 Years Since Napoleon Bonaparte’s Coronation In Notre Dame Cathedral

It was 215 years ago today that Napoleon Bonaparte had himself crowned as Emperor of the French in Notre Dame Cathedral.

Pope Pius VII had held the crown at the coronation ceremony in Notre Dame but Napoleon grabbed the crown from the pontiff and crowned himself Emperor of The French.

The Kraken Napoleon VI (who was a huge admirer of the original Emperor Napoleon I) decided to mark the occasion by having himself crowned Emperor of the French again.

He had himself crowned Emperor of the French by the Monsignor of Notre Dame Cathedral back on December 2nd 2015.

But no one in the French government or any voters among the French electorate recognized the Imperial Coronation much to the Kraken’s disappointment.

Of course on this particular occasion Notre Dame Cathedral was now closed to the public since the April fire in the cathedral earlier this year.

And the Monsignor of Notre Dame Cathedral attended classes on the Quran every Monday night so he was unable to attend for the Kraken’s re-coronation service this evening.

So the Kraken decided to hold his re-coronation ceremony (marking the original Napoleon’s 215th year of coronation) in front of Paris’ famous Arc de Triomphe.

He wore neo-Napoleonic French Imperial robes designed by the House of Chanel to easily accommodate his 8 arms.

He hired a stork (who had tired of the baby delivering business) to fly down and deposit the Crown of Napoleon I on his head after fireworks had gone off and the Orchestre de Paris had finished played a stirring rendition of La Marseillaise as well as the theme music from the 1983 James Bond film Octopussy.

The ceremony went off without a hitch.

Donald Trump, who was currently in London for tomorrow’s 70th Anniversary meeting of NATO, watched the coronation ceremony on British television.

Trump thought to himself, “I really should have myself crowned Emperor of America.”

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was likewise in London for the 70th Anniversary meeting of NATO.

He had recently heard the good news from CSIS (Canadian Security Intelligence Service) that a pair of time travellers had gone back in time and rescued his pet pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever from being murdered by PRC Ministry of State Security operatives on Xi Jinping’s orders.

Justin Trudeau had heard that Strawberry Fields Forever was currently being kept on the colossal London estate of the Egyptian billionaire Set who owned the multi-billion dollar research and development firm Set Enterprises.

Trudeau directed the Canadian Embassy car to be driven to the Set mansion so he could re-unite with his old friend Strawberry Fields Forever.

However Justin did not announce his visit and the Embassy car was set upon by the Set Estate’s guard and watch cat Nefertiti Galore who tore the Rolls-Royce limousine apart with her claws.

She then set out after the Canadian Prime Minister and the Embassy chauffeur.

The Embassy chauffeur managed to escape.

Justin wasn’t so lucky.

He had his clothes ripped off by Nefertiti Galore’s claws.

He was then arrested by Scotland Yard police for exposing himself on the streets of London.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and his friend the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu were in London and were walking back from a service commemorating the victims of last Friday’s London Bridge attack.

Renfield happened to walk in the way of Donald Trump who happened to be exiting his limousine.

Trump who thought Renfield could be as easily pushed around as the Prime Minister of Montenegro a couple of years back pushed Renfield out of the way.

Big mistake on Trump’s part.

Renfield turned around and punched Trump in the head sending his golden urine coloured toupee flying 50 feet down the street.

Secret Service agents tackled Renfield to the ground thinking he was an assassin.

Big mistake on the Secret Service agents’ part.

Mei-ling Manchu moved quickly into action and used her martial arts skills to kick and send all of the Secret Service agents flying over the dome of Saint Paul’s Cathedral.

A dirigible flying above the dome carried John Donne’s message, “Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday December 2nd 
2019.

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