October Apocalypse Now?

October 12, 2021 at 10:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

A pair of sports reporters were broadcasting a boxing match in an outside boxing arena on a ranch outside the town of Shelby Montana.

The promoter was hoping the event would be a lot more successful than the Jack Dempsey vs. Tommy Gibbons World Heavyweight Title Bout that was held on July 4th 1923 in Shelby Montana.

The large crowd that had come to watch the event were shouting “F*ck Joe Biden!” “F*ck Joe BIDEN!”.

“Listen to that crowd,” one of the sports reporters lisped in a Howard Cosell like fashion if Howard Cosell had been a pansy, “They’re shouting “Let’s go Brandon! Let’s go Brandon!”. How about that for enthusiasm?”.

“But there’s no one named Brandon involved in this fight, sir,” the cowboy sports reporter (who talked like John Wayne) pointed out.

The other reporter who carried a pink six shooter took it out of his holster and shot the cowboy sports reporter dead.

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to cancel you permanently in today’s cancel culture world for making such an offensive racist misogynistic homophobic remark,” the limpwristed gunslinger lisped.

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of what occurred during the Saturday October 9th 2021 Vatican meeting between Pope Francis and U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi that hadn’t been shown by the mainstream media.

After Pope Francis had greeted Nancy Pelosi with a Freemasonic secret handshake, the two then danced together.

Pope Francis sang in an extremely bad impersonation of Yul Brynner’s voice,

“We’ve just been introduced,
I do not know you well,
But when the music started
Something drew me to your side…
… shall we dance?

Pelosi and Bergoglio are then joined by the demons Baal and Baphomet who are also dancing together.

Baal and Baphomet then cover Nancy and Francis with confetti that looks surprisingly like small unborn human babies.

Nancy and Francis then throw the baby like confetti into the brazier hands of a metallic statue of Moloch (who was the demon Baal’s demonic twin brother).

The brazier hands then insert the baby confetti into the fiery furnace stomach of the bull headed deity Moloch.

Pelosi and Francis then start singing Burn Baby Burn from the 1977 John Travolta film Saturday Night Fever.

They are joined by holographic images of Bill Gates and George Soros wearing human embryonic made revitalizing skin cream singing “Stayin’ Alive” another song from the 1977 film Saturday Night Fever.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had just returned from Australia where he had thrown 666 members of the Victoria State Police Force to their deaths from a cannabis powered dirigible airship (The Wild Colonial Boy) over the City of Melbourne.

Prior to their aerial downward exit, Renfield had arranged to have 666 middle fingers cut off the Neo-SS Neo-Gestapo Fascist pigs’ left hands and mailed to Victoria State’s Neo-Maoist Neo-Stalinist tyrant Premier Daniel Andrews.

Also prior to their aerial downward exit, Renfield had arranged to have 666 middle fingers cut off the Neo-SS Neo-Gestapo Fascist pigs’ right hands and mailed to Victoria state’s Neo-Fascist Chief Commissioner of Victoria Police Shane Patton.

Renfield was now examining a brochure.

The brochure was advertising the ELITE GLOBAL LEADERS’ CONFERENCE being held on Saturday October 23rd 2021 at the Vatican.

The theme of the conference was TECHNOLOGY That Empowers HUMANITY.

The conference was by invitation only.

The keynote presentation was called The Code- Programming Our Future For Good.

The keynote speakers were David Fergusson author of The transHuman Code and Carlos Moreira author of The transHuman Code.

As Renfield was reading the brochure, a commotion was taking place outside on the Set Estate grounds.

The Victoria State Police Force from Melbourne Australia were launching a commando raid on the Set Mansion in order to kidnap Renfield.

As such they were being pounced upon by the Set Estate’s ferocious guard cat Nefertiti Galore and were being ripped and shredded to pieces by her.

Nefertiti Galore: As can be seen, she’s in one of her better moods this evening.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 12th
2021.

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Will Dracula Be The Next Pope?

July 27, 2021 at 10:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Samhain Cardinal Salaman was sitting in his office at the Vatican.

Although Francis required all Vatican employees and visitors to be be vaccinated with the Covid non-vaccine (none of the so-called vaccines for Covid were technically vaccines but rather genetic serums but most of the public was too dumb and gullible to know that. Since Big Pharma, Big Government, Big Business and the mainstream media called it a vaccine, it was obviously a vaccine to them), since most of those working at the Vatican were paying more attention to their gay sex hook-up Grindr apps on their phone rather than who was vaccinated, nobody bothered to note that Samhain Cardinal Salaman had never been vaccinated.

Salaman was informed that he had a visitor.

Sergius Materiy the Russian Orthodox Archbishop of Astana, Kazakhstan.

Salaman invited the Archbishop into his office.

“What can I do for you, your Eminence?” Salaman asked the Archbishop.

“I’m here to discuss something your Eminence,” The Archbishop answered, “Since you work in the Vatican, you are probably more aware than I am about the rumours swirling around that Francis is on the verge of kicking the bucket. Hence his reasoning and his rush to proclaim the motu proprio Traditionis custodes into law and restrict the celebration of the Tridentine Mass.”

“Yes, I’ve heard those rumours,” Cardinal Salaman nodded, “I’ve been told that the only one who hates the Latin Tridentine Mass more than Francis is Lucifer himself.”

“His recent operation wasn’t as successful as he and his doctors had hoped?” Archbishop Materiy asked.

“I’ve been told (unofficially of course) that his main trouble is his reaction to the Covid non-vaccine that he received earlier this year,” Salaman replied.

“Anyways, the reason I’m here is…” the Astana Archbishop paused, “Well you no doubt heard that a few years ago an expedition was sent to Castle Dracula in Transylvania in order to remove the wooden stake from Prince Vlad III Dracula’s heart and bring him back from the dead. The purpose being to have Vlad III Dracula fight the ISIS Islamic State in Syria and also to stop Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan from bringing back the Ottoman Empire with himself as Sultan.”

“Yes, I’ve heard that was the purpose in bringing Prince Vlad III Dracula back from the dead,” The Cardinal nodded.

“Anyways I’m going to give you this document,” Materiy handed him a piece of paper, “It describes a plan for a post-Francis world. A world where Dracula is the next Pope.”

“Dracula as the next Pope?” Salaman was astounded, “But Dracula currently isn’t even a Cardinal. How will he get to be Pope?”.

“Read on, MacDuff,” The Archbishop paraphrased Shakespeare as he pointed towards the document.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 27th
2021.

Countess Draculina daughter of Count Dracula ponders the question, “Will my father Count Dracula be the next Pope?”.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Erroneous Notion of White Supremacy While Exorcist Recalls Demonically Possessed Nun

July 26, 2021 at 10:08 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was once again in the neighbourhood dollar store.

And there in the line-up was another repulsively ugly looking white woman.

There seemed to be a surplus of repulsively ugly looking white women wandering around the dollar store this past week.

What was up with that?

The Calgary Stampede was over.

Ugly looking white women should be back in the corral or the closet where they belong.

It was probably the influence of all these annoying pansies and fruits who go around celebrating Pride Week then Pride Month then Pride Year and now Pride Century, Pan Goatee reasoned.

Soon it will be Pride Millenium.

Instead of a 1000 Year Reich, it will be a 1000 Year Rainbow.

One guarded by Ernst Rohm and not Heimdall.

This ugly looking white woman had blue hair.

Pan Goatee blamed the preponderance of ugly white women in the city, in Alberta and in Canada as a whole on the influence of that odious western world political disease known as Critical Gender Theory radical Marxist feminism.

The abhorrent ideology turned any female who heavily imbibed its contents into a creature so repulsively ugly it caused even the Devil himself to vomit all over the place.

“My God but you’re ugly,” Pan Goatee quoted the John Cleese character of Basil Fawlty as he beheaded the ugly looking white women with blue hair, “You and others like you certainly rip a big hole into that erroneous theory of white supremacy. Any race that produces the likes of you certainly has nothing whatsoever to feel superior about. Hitler must have been insane.”

Goatee went on about Hitler’s insanity as he sliced the ugly white woman with blue hair into 999 trillion pieces, “Some individuals seem to be prone to all sorts of neuroses and psychoses. And I guess Hitler was obviously one of them.”

. . .

As most of the priests in Pope Francis’ Vatican were currently engaged in the Monday night gay sex orgy, the daughter of a Rome boarding house owner was wandering the halls and walls of the Vatican trying to find a priest who would come and administer the Last Rites to one of her mother’s lodgers an elderly priest and long retired exorcist.

The girl happened to run into one of the few heterosexual Vatican curia officials Samhain Cardinal Salaman a former professional stage magician turned Cardinal.

Cardinal Salaman accompanied the girl to her mother’s boarding house and administered the Last Rites to the dying exorcist.

When he had finished administering the Last Rites, the old exorcist spoke.

“There was one exorcism I recall more vividly than all the rest,” said the exorcist, “it was a nun who was demonically possessed.”

“Go on,” the Cardinal nodded, “A nun who was demonically possessed…”

“She was demonically possessed by an entity that identified itself as the Spirit of Pachamama,” the exorcist continued.

“The Spirit of Pachamama?” Cardinal Salaman was astounded.

“Yes,” the exorcist answered, “The nun had become possessed while giving birth to a child. The child’s father, the nun had told her fellow nuns in the convent, was a bishop.”

“How long ago was this, Father?” The cardinal asked the exorcist.

“Many many years ago, Father,” the old exorcist replied.

“Did the child live?” Cardinal Salaman wanted to know.

“Yes, the child lived,” the exorcist nodded.

“How old would the child be now?” Salaman inquired.

The exorcist did not answer.

For he had gone to his reward.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 26th
2021.

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Spiderman At Pope Francis’ Wednesday General Audience

June 23, 2021 at 10:48 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was standing at the door of the Set Mansion.

He had just received via courier delivery a package from the Royal Jordanian Embassy in London.

The package contained a pen that had been sent to him as a gift by King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan who were friends of his.

“What a lovely looking pen,” Amadeus Emanon commented as he went out the door, “I could use a pen like that to fill out all the forms that I’ll probably have to fill out at HM Revenue and Customs today.”

“Why don’t you take it with you?” Renfield suggested as he handed him the pen.

“Thanks,” Amadeus hopped into a waiting taxi.

Renfield’s smart phone then rang.

It was Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit secret agent Miranda Singh calling.

Apparently the Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit had discovered a plot by Communist China’s Ministry of State Security (MSS) to assassinate Renfield.

The plot involved sending a package that was postmarked with the stamp of the Royal Jordanian Embassy in London but was really a counterfeit stamp.

The package would contain a pen that was supposedly a gift from King Abdullah and Queen Rania of Jordan but was really a Final Farewell gift from Xi Jinping.

When one clicked the pen, a bomb would explode.

“My God,” said Renfield, “I lent that pen to Amadeus. He’s gone down to an HM Revenue and Customs Office with it.”

Renfield thanked Miranda Singh for the information and then headed out the door.

He jumped into his 1953 Jaguar XK 120 roadster

and took off.

As Renfield raced through the streets of London to get to the HM Revenue and Customs Office before Amadeus did, he ran over an intersectional feminist who was foolishly standing in the middle of an intersection.

When he arrived at the HM Revenue and Customs office, he grabbed Amadeus just as he was going up the steps.

“Amadeus,” Renfield exclaimed, “Don’t click that pen I lent you. It contains a bomb.”

“Really?” Amadeus blinked, “I just gave that pen to my Inland Revenue auditor as he was going up the steps. He said he was in need of a pen prior to our appointment.”

An explosion was heard coming from inside the building.

“I have the feeling you’ll soon be getting a new Inland Revenue auditor,” Renfield stated.

. . .

In Nashville, Tennessee, First Lady Jill Biden scolded Tennesseans for not getting vaccinated.

“Only three in ten Tennesseans are vaccinated,” she whined before telling the crowd of ten people who showed up to hear her that the vaccine was safe.

“You’re full of crap,” said the ghost of frontiersman Davy Crockett who showed up on the scene, “just like airheaded woke zombies who can’t stand the music scene in Kelowna British Columbia.”

. . .

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had a vision of the demons Baal and Baphomet visiting Italian history professor Roberto de Mattei.

The demons told de Mattei that Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano was becoming a problem for the New World Order aka the Great Reset aka the 4th Industrial Revolution.

So Roberto de Mattei made the claim (under instructions from the demons Baal and Baphomet) that Archbishop Vigano had a double who was impersonating him and making outrageous claims in Vigano’s name.

What were these outrageous claims?

The first was made back in the summer of 2018 in which Archbishop Vigano claimed that Pope Francis was covering up for the pedophile and homosexual rape crimes of the predatory homosexual American Cardinal Theodore McCarrick the man who negotiated the Vatican pact with Communist China on behalf of Pope Francis.

The second claim was made in letters written by Archbishop Vigano throughout 2020 in which he said that Pope Francis was co-operating with the CCP (Chinese Communist Party), George Soros, Bill Gates and the World Economic Forum’s Klaus Schwab in trying to set up a Great Reset New World Order in which the super rich would continue to own private property but the middle class and the poor would not be allowed to.

This was an affront to Baal and Baphomet who had coined the slogan Build Back Better and so they enticed historian Roberto de Mattei to slander Archbishop Vigano.

. . .

In his Wednesday June 23rd 2021 General Audience, Pope Francis (protector of predatory homosexual clergy and friend of the Great Reset New World Order globalists) said that the old Christianity was dead and it was time for the new Christianity to take its place.

After that, Spiderman arrived on the scene.

Spiderman and Pope Francis shook hands.

And Spiderman presented Francis with a Spiderman mask.

Samhain Cardinal Salaman, who was watching the proceedings, said, “Well when it comes to deciding between the Marvel universe of super heroes and the DC universe of super heroes, we now know on which side the Pope stands.”

“Marvelous, simply marvelous,” said a man dressed up as Howard the Duck.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 23rd
2021.

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Renfield’s Dirigible Ride Over Rome

March 23, 2021 at 9:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had borrowed the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airship The Peregrine Falcon to take an aerial sightseeing trip over the city of Rome.

He had invited his friend Amadeus Emanon to join him.

“Did you get the permission of the British government to take this trip?” Amadeus asked as he sipped his strawberry milkshake.

“Of course not,” Renfield licked his chocolate ice cream cone.

“But I thought the British government made it illegal for British nationals to travel outside the country without a reasonable excuse for doing so,” Amadeus mentioned.

“They issued a proclamation to that effect,” Renfield nodded, “A copy of which I recently used as toilet paper. But I just ignore it like I do every other dictatorial decree issued by Boris Johnson’s zombie nosferatu controlled government.”

“I see,” Amadeus put down his empty glass of strawberry milkshake and ordered another from the airship steward, “And how many governments in the world are controlled by zombie nosferatu?”.

“Probably most of them,” Renfield answered.

“The situation doesn’t look very promising,” Amadeus reflected aloud.

“Neither did it look promising for Winston Churchill when he became Prime Minister of Britain in May 1940 and France fell to the Nazis a month later,” Renfield pointed out, “Yet he won in the end.”

“The colosseum where Christians were thrown to the lions,” Amadeus pointed to the ancient structure down below.

“I’m sure the far-left secularist Democrats in the U.S. Congress would like to build colosseums up and down America and throw Christians to the lions all in the name of their so-called Equality Act and every other piece of Days of Lot and Days of Noah and current days of Neo-Bolshevik Communist garbage they can come up with,” Renfield sipped a martini, “And Joe Biden would eagerly sign it.”

“But I thought Joe Biden claimed to be Catholic,” Amadeus took his strawberry milkshake from the steward.

“Yes but Biden doesn’t realize that a Catholic is supposed to be Christian,” Renfield explained, “He thinks a Catholic is supposed to worship Baal and Baphomet like every other registered Democrat who claims to be a Catholic like Nancy Pelosi and New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo and the majority of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops in America.”

“I see we’re now flying over Saint Peter’s Basilica,” Amadeus looked down below.

“Where Pope Francis has forbidden priests from celebrating their own private Masses in the various chapels,” Renfield noted, “Something they had been allowed to do for the past 1500 years – in the old Basilica- and then in this present Renaissance era built structure- until now.”

“Why do you suppose Pope Francis has forbade priests from saying private Masses there?” Amadeus ate a chocolate eclair.

“Because most of the private Masses the priests were saying were according to the rite of the old Tridentine Latin Mass and Francis hates the old Tridentine Latin Mass,” Renfield ordered another martini from the airship steward.

“Why does Francis hate the Tridentine Latin Mass?” Amadeus inquired.

“Because Lucifer/Satan/The Devil hates it and I don’t imagine the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama thinks much of it either,” Renfield replied, “She much prefers the sacrifice of llamas and small children. As for Francis, being a Latin American Jesuit trained in Marxist Liberation Theology, he’d naturally have an antipathy for the old Tridentine Latin Mass.”

“I see almost every government in Western Europe is forbidding public celebrations of Easter Mass this coming Easter,” Amadeus noted.

“Yes, Italy, Germany, the UK and the list goes on and on,” Renfield sipped his second martini.

As nightfall approached, Nero’s ghost walked around the colosseum playing his fiddle.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 23rd
2021.

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Harvey Tallbanger, Antichrist Apostle Mario Draghi, Inanna and Ishtar

March 12, 2021 at 11:10 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi announced that Italy would be under a total lockdown over the Easter weekend for the 2nd year in a row.

Before going to address a virtual press conference, Draghi unbeknownst to himself, was injected with Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Truth Serum by Harvey Tallbanger (the invisible to mortals) 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

Harvey was a Welsh pooka a mischievous supernatural creature from Welsh and Celtic folklore.

During the press conference, Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi was asked why he decided that Easter should be cancelled for the 2nd year in a row in Italy.

“Because I’m an Apostle of the Antichrist,” Draghi (well under the influence of the Dr. Cadbury Rocher Truth Serum) replied.

As he answered, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST appeared in red and black felt ink letters on his forehead.

Draghi continued, “If we can stop the Sacrifice of the Mass from being said in Churches all over the world, this will definitely lay the foundation for the Antichrist’s imminent appearance on the world stage. Because unbeknownst to many of you, many world leaders and I worship the Antichrist in private and secret. We’ve been able to use the Wuhan CCP Virus pandemic to close Churches and stop the Sacrifice of the Mass all over the world. And it’s especially effective when you’re able to stop the Sacrifice of the Mass from being said at Christmas and Easter.””

Joe Biden was watching the Mario Draghi press conference on his TV set in the Oval Office.

He asked his marijuana pot smoking cactus plant Sweet Dementia sitting atop his Oval Office desk, “Am I one of those world leaders who secretly worship the Antichrist?”.

Because he had apparently forgotten.

“Yes,” Sweet Dementia spelled out the word in the air through her pot exhalation smoke.

“Wow, that really blows my mind,” Beijing Joe remarked, “No wonder I get along so well with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. To say nothing of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts.”

Meanwhile in the Vatican, the Sumerian goddess Inanna and her identical twin sister the Akkadian/Assyrian/Babylonian goddess Ishtar were watching the Mario Draghi press conference on the TV set in Pope Francis’ study.

They had flown to Rome with Pope Francis on his plane ride back from Iraq.

“We must stop Mario Draghi from talking,” Inanna remarked to Ishtar, “He’s blabbing too much.”

They flew (like bats out of Hell) to the site of Mario Draghi’s press conference where they knocked him out.

As Draghi lay there unconscious on the floor, he received a spaghetti and meatball laced cream pie in the face – courtesy of Harvey Tallbanger.

Inanna or Ishtar? : Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 12th
2021.

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Demon Moloch Addresses His Disciples In BBC Newsroom

November 18, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Rebel News Canada one of the few independent and non-Marxist news media outlets in Canada visited the office building home of Dominion Voting (the vote tabulation company whose vote tabulation machines in key battleground states suddenly flipped thousands and thousands and thousands of votes from Donald Trump to Joe Biden at the last minute on election night Tuesday November 3rd) at 215 Spadina Avenue in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

They were shocked to discover that Dominion Voting actually shares an office floor with the Tides Foundation.

Tides which recently changed its name to Make Way is an extreme left eco-radical charity that is financed by George Soros.

When the Rebel News camera crew were inside the Dominion Voting Building at 215 Spadina Avenue in Toronto, they were removed from the building by the building manager.

Before they were removed by the building manager for committing the heinous offense of journalism (a heinous offense that the mainstream Marxist media has never been guilty of the past 20 years) they discovered that Tides and Dominion had requested the building manager remove all signage and references to their shared building occupancy.

Rebel News in its investigation had discovered documents that Dominion Voting had donated almost $50,000 to Hillary Clinton’s personal foundation.

Of course only independent news media outlets such as Rebel News would bother investigating and reporting on this.

For the mainstream Marxist media news outlets believe in lies and not the truth.

. . .

Ghost of Joseph Stalin: “My spirit has effectively taken over the BBC (which now stands for British Bolshevik Corporation).

My former ally and erstwhile enemy Winnie (Winston Churchill) must be spinning in his grave.

They the BBC have definitely become the Ministry of Truth of Orwell’s 1984.”

As Stalin enjoyed himself pontificating while sitting at the desk of the late BBC comedian Jimmy Savile, the demon Moloch was standing (maskless of course since he was a global overlord of the plant) in the middle of the BBC newsroom giving a pep talk to his many disciples among the reporters and news editors of BBC World News.

Moloch (injesting a plateload of human babies): Thank you for your splendid efforts on my behalf and on behalf of my many allies.
As you know the British public and the public of the world are gullible sheep.
They think an organization which knew about and did nothing and in many cases covered up for BBC actors and stars who were guilty of rape, pedophilia and necrophilia, they think an organization such as this is actually going to tell the truth about Covid-19 and also tell the truth about who actually won the U.S. Presidential election.

Moloch then starts to cackle and laugh uproariously.

His disciples among the reporters and news editors of BBC news, soon join in on the demonic and satanic laughter and cackling, sounding equally demonic and satanic in their cackling and laughter.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield reading the news on his own independent non-Marxist news podcast:

The Vatican is turning its Social Media Department of Pope Francis Instagram, Twitter and Facebook Account Staff writers upside down in an effort to find the heterosexual male in the department who dared to Like in Francis’ name a female lingerie model on Instagram.

Such things are Verboten in Pope Francis’ Vatican.

You can like a Burt Reynolds Cosmopolitan Centrefold picture but not a photo of a female lingerie model.


Natalia Garibotto, 27, the Brazilian lingerie model whose Instagram photo of her wearing a tartan schoolgirl skirt, stockings and suspenders was apparently “liked” by Pope Francis on his Instagram account.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 18th
2020.

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Render Unto Pachamama The Things That Are Pachamama’s

October 19, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading the news on behalf of a BBC news announcer who had come down with a severe bullet wound after being shot by the husband of the woman he had slept with last night.

The announcer later died in hospital where doctors following WHO (World Health Organization) guidelines listed his death as being caused by Covid-19.

Renfield finished the newscast with, “And in other news, the Communist Pope Francis has decided not to name the anti-Communist Pope John Paul II a Doctor of the Church or a Patron Saint of Europe. Wow, big shocker there.”

Needless to say, Renfield had added quite a number of ad libs of his own while reading the newscast script.

When the newscast was over, he got on Skype with his friend Amadeus Emanon who was currently residing in Australia.

Said Amadeus, “I hear the Vatican City State Mint has issued a 10-Euro silver coin depicting the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama giving birth to planet Earth.”

The coin showed an Inca woman with long plaited hair entwined with long ears of corn (representing the earth’s fertility) about to give birth to a globe of the world.

The coin designed by Bergamo sculptor and engraver Luigi Oldani was designed to mark the 50th Anniversary of the UN’s World Youth Day (which was first held on April 22nd 1970 on what would have been Lenin’s 100th birthday).

“That’s right,” Renfield nodded, “The French Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin noted in a 1922 letter he wrote to Lenin and Trotsky that the Inca Empire which lasted from 1438 to 1533 practiced a form of scientific socialism and that furthermore the Incas worshipped an earth mother goddess called Pachamama. It was Teilhard’s contention that through the use of Pachamama, he Teilhard could bring about a Hegelian synthesis of Catholicism and Soviet Communism.”

“And what was Lenin and Trotsky’s reaction to that?” Amadeus, who was normally always hungry, had pushed aside the plate of Uncle Ernie’s Meatloaf a la Hotel California that Uncle Ernie had made him.

“They told him good luck with that,” Renfield answered, “Lenin himself croaked in January 1924 and Trotsky himself was forced into exile from the USSR in February 1929 after coming out on the losing end of a power struggle with Joseph Stalin.”

“So nothing really became of Teilhard’s Pachamama synthesis of Catholicism and Soviet Communism?” Amadeus declined Uncle Ernie’s aptly named Jonestown Guyana Kool-Aid Cocktail.

“Not until Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elevated to the Papacy on March 13th 2013 and took the name Pope Francis,” Renfield replied.

“So anything else about this coin I should know?” Amadeus waved aside a cup of Uncle Ernie’s Outback Road Kill Brew Coffee.

“Well it basically shows the Ukhu Pacha- the mondo interno in Spanish giving birth to the Madre Terra in Spanish,” Renfield sipped a glass of wine.

“What’s that in English?” Amadeus inquired.

“Well the mondo interno is the inner world or world under the earth which gives birth to the world above the earth – Mother Earth- Madre Terra- which is the world of plants, animals, soil and humans,” Renfield explained.

“What does this inner world consist of?” Amadeus was curious.

“Well Ukhu Pacha is the inner world and is associated with the realm of the dead and as the realm of the dead, Ukhu Pacha is inhabited by the supay a group of demons which torment the living. Supay with a capital S is also the name of the Inca god of death – Supay – who is the ruler of the Inca underworld the Ukhu Pacha as well as the race of demons (supay with a small s) that inhabit it. The name Supay is roughly translated diablo (Spanish for devil) in most South American countries.
Pachamama herself lives in the Ukhu Pacha (inner world or world under the earth) as a fiery red dragon. When she goes above the earth in times of harvest, she becomes a beautiful woman. In effect, the red dragon gives birth to a woman who is Mother Earth.”

“Why does this sound exactly like the Book of Revelation or the Book of the Apocalypse to me?” Amadeus watched Uncle Ernie dressed as Mystery Babylon dancing around the kitchen in a slit skirted red dress and holding an overflowing gold cup of red wine.

“Because it is,” Renfield acknowledged, “Why Pope Francis doesn’t have a tattoo tattooed to his forehead that says “I am the False Prophet of Revelation Chapter 13″ is beyond me. The symbolism on the new 10 Euro coin there is for anyone who’s a student of Inca mythology to see. Perhaps he’s waiting for the Great Global Reset next year (which will happen if the Biden-Harris ticket wins in November) before he unveils that tattoo on his forehead.”

Pachamama: The Lady In Red listens to the whispers of El Diablo

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 19th
2020.

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Pachamama, Sultan Erdogan and The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

October 4, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama walked through the Vatican Gardens accompanied by the flaming disembodied head of the French Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

It was a year ago today that Pope Francis had wooden statues of Pachamama brought into the Vatican Gardens and a whole bunch of people had bowed down to them.

Teilhard’s flaming head set fire to some of the plants and trees in the garden and Swiss Guards had to bring forth buckets of water to put it out.

A Vatican spokesman later blamed the Vatican Gardens fire on Climate Change.

. . .

In the Armenia-Azerbaijan War over Nagorno-Karabakh, things were taking a definite change for the worst.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was warning people that the conflict had the potential to erupt into World War III but New Age prophetess Oprah Winfrey and demonically possessed self-help guru Anthony Robbins (a Calgary based geopolitical analyst once had the misfortune to quite literally run into the self-help guru as he was rushing down the stairwell of Edmonton’s Westin Hotel where the self-help guru was putting on a seminar and judging from Robbins’ vitriolic reaction that’s how he came to know the self-help guru was demonically possessed) said that Renfield should not be giving out such negative vibes.

A genetically created talking ostrich (genetically created by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher) who had his head buried in the sand agreed with Oprah’s and Robbins’ assessment of the situation.

The Greek god of war Ares (anxious for a major war) had directed Azeri forces to launch a missile attack on the Armenian Nagorno-Karabakh regional capital of Stepanakert.

In response Armenian Nagorno-Karabakh military forces aided and abetted by Thor the Norse god of thunder (who was also anxious for a major war) proceeded to shell the city of Ganja which was Azerbaijan’s second largest city.

Large numbers of civilians were killed on both sides.

Meanwhile in Turkey, Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war (who was the third member of the trio of ancient pagan deities trying to start a Third World War the past couple of years) was busy encouraging Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to finish off the Armenian Genocide that the Ottoman Empire neglected to finish off 100 years ago.

It didn’t take much to persuade Erdogan who already had that in mind.

. . .

Meanwhile in the small Suffolk coastal village of Dunwich England, Sherrielock Holmes and Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit Secret Agent Miranda Singh managed to locate the taxidermically stuffed body of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog whose less than 15 minutes of fame occurred when he appeared in the 1975 fantasy/comedy film Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

The stuffed rabbit’s body was found next to an Andy Warhol autographed Campbell’s Soup Can in The Buddha and Edison Anchor Watt Pub in Dunwich where retired fishermen and retired sea captains often hang out.


Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess posted a photo of herself on Twitter to let people know that she looked nothing at all like the wooden statues of herself that Pope Francis commissioned an avante-garde Jesuit artist to make to use in last year’s Amazon Synod opening worship ceremonies in the Vatican Gardens

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 4th
2020.

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Stalinist Demonic Sex Orgy Forum Held At Georgetown University

September 2, 2020 at 10:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was talking with his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype.

He was showing Amadeus video of a recent Georgetown University on-line forum called Pope Francis and The Reform of The Church.

Renfield and Amadeus were viewing the forum video using The Dr. Cadbury Rocher Supernatural Entity Detector Lens.

The three headed dog Cerberus was seen carrying around a poster that the great Renaissance painter and sculptor Michelangelo who resided in the Elysian Fields (referred to as the Church Expectant In Paradise in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer) had drawn and designed for the on-line forum.

Below the block letters POPE FRANCIS AND THE REFORM OF THE CHURCH could be seen Pope Francis operating a crane with a wrecking ball that was totally demolishing Saint Peter’s Basilica while the figure of the Blessed Virgin Mary could be seen weeping in the background.

The crane bore the logo Baal and Baphomet Wrecking Co. on it.

And speaking of Baal and Baphomet, they were also present at the on-line forum overseeing a group of demons who were all engaged in various sexual positions with one another.

Also present were the ghosts of Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, Fidel Castro and Pol Pot who had all been granted day passes from their rotating barbeque spits down in Tartarus to attend the forum.

The August 31st Georgetown forum was sponsored by Georgetown University’s Office of The Vice-President For Global Engagement (the coat of arms for the office, designed by the Dutch Renaissance painter Hieronymus Bosch, showed a sexually perverted deviant satyr and a sexually perverted deviant centaur getting it on with one another in an orgiastic menage a trois that also involved a Pope Francis blessed wooden statue of the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama).

Addressing the forum was Paul Elie a senior fellow at Georgetown’s Berkeley Center For Religion, Peace and World Affairs.

Mr. Elie was wearing a shirt that had been spraypainted (in glow in the dark ultraviolet light) with the words GLOBALIST WINDBAG.

Said Mr. Elie, “I think there’s active resistance to Pope Francis taking place in the United States.”

“Brilliant deduction,” piped up the ghost of Sherlock Holmes who was sitting in the front row of the empty (except entirely covered by copulating demons) auditorium, “What clued you in?”.

Mr. Elie then went on blathering about the Catholic social teaching of Pope Francis as Josef Stalin handed him a copy of Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto and Mao Tse-tung handed him a copy of Mao’s Little Red Book.

Next to mince up on the forum stage was some flaming dandy named Austen Ivereigh who had written two books on Pope Francis’ pontificate and was currently working on a third (“Talk about Much ado about nothing!” Renfield remarked to Amadeus).

Whined Ivereigh, “Critics of Pope Francis are denying that he’s led by the Holy Spirit.”

The fallen angel Mephistopheles, who was sitting in the back row of the auditorium, started choking on his hot buttered popcorn and his jumbo glass of Coca-Cola when Ivereigh talked about Pope Francis being led by the Holy Spirit.

As Mephistopheles continued to roll on the floor in huge gales of laughter amidst all that spilled popcorn and spilled Coke, Ivereigh continued snivelling, “To charge that Pope Francis is a heretic or a modernist or to claim that he’s trying to change the fundamentals of the Church is signs of a schismatic mentality.”

At that moment in the Vatican, Pope Francis was asking his valet, “Have you seen my keys?”.

“What keys would those be?’ His valet asked.

“The Keys of Saint Peter,” Francis answered.

“Oh, you lost those keys several years back,” his valet noted.

Then a third person, the oh so perfectly curly haired dandy Argentine Father Augusto Zampini of the Vatican Dicastery For Promoting Integral Human Development pirouetted his way on to the forum stage.

Father Zampini lavished praise on the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus for opening up the way for Pope Francis to accelerate his church “reforms” and his plans for global governance on the world.

“The Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church,” Zampini insisted.

“Well,” Renfield remarked to Amadeus, “When the Vatican representative to this year’s Davos Conference in Switzerland says that the Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church, you can rest assured that the Pope has a Stalinist plan for the Church.”

“May the Pope have many divisions at his beck and call,” Stalin’s ghost grinned.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 2nd
2020.

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