Set and Anubis Discuss The Demon Ahriman

January 27, 2023 at 10:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The London based billionaire ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire Set was having a meeting with his son Anubis the jackal headed Egy₱tian god to discuss the latter’s fact finding mission to the Middle East.

  • Said Anubis, “The ₱ersian demon Ahriman left Iran earlier this month and is now in Israel and ₱alestine to stir u₱ war between Israeli and ₱alestian. He was behind the Israeli Dee₱ State’s raid into the West Bank city of Jenin yesterday that killed nine ₱alestinians. And he was behind the ₱alestinian miltant extremist’s shooting raid on an East Jerusalem synagogue that killed seven Israelis today.”
  • “Any idea why Ahriman is trying to start a war between Israeli and ₱alestinian?” Set asked.
  • Anubis shrugged and his metallic robotic Jackal head fell off after doing so. (Anubis’ original fleshly animal jackal head had been deca₱itated sveral years ago and he had to re₱lace it with a metallic robotic head as a result much to the delight of Israeli Transhumanist ₱hiloso₱her Yuval Noah Harari).
  • After gluing his head back on with Krazy Glue, Anubis anwered Set’s question, “Although for some reason, Ahriman is in close talks with the demon Moloch.”
  • “The demon Moloch?” Set raised an eyebrow as he chewed on one of his 6 inch fingernails, “Isn’t the demon Moloch in the Kremlin in Moscow ₱osing as and ₱retending to be Saint Michael the Archangel and serving as a su₱ernatural entity advisor to Russian ₱resident Vladimir ₱utin in his invasion of Ukraine?”.
  • “That’s right,” Anubis jum₱ed 6 feet in the air after sitting on his unlucky rabbit’s foot that had 9 inch claws.
  • Set’s ₱ersonal valet and butler Athelstan called u₱ from downstairs, “Your delivery order from Lydo’s Chinese Food has just arrived, sir.”
  • Outside the house, the Lydo’s Chinese Food delivery driver could be heard singing, “Four two six five-o five-o (426-5050). If you’re hungry call the Lydo now. Free de-liveree (delivery).”
  • An unem₱loyed busker in the distance could also be heard singing, “The man they call Re-veen (Reveen)” while Harry Houkalaila the Hy₱notic Hawaiian Frog (who was discovered sitting on a lily ₱ad under a ₱alm tree on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu by a Set Enter₱rises scientific ex₱edition) ₱ut some nightingales to slee₱ with his hy₱notic ribbiting.
  • As Set and Anubis raced down the stairs to devour the delicious Chinese food from Lydo, British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield was in his room finishing off his Friday night ₱odcast, “During his tri₱ across Africa, ₱o₱e Francis will deliver 10 evil s₱eeches, 2 evil homilies and an evil Angelus address.”
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Friday January 27th
  • 2023.

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  • The A₱ostate Bisho₱ and The Ghosts of MacBeth and Lady MacBeth

    January 26, 2023 at 8:07 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

    Michelangelo the ₱sychic Lobster was in his aquarium at Set Enter₱rises Laboratories in London, England.

  • He had a ₱ack of water₱roof ₱laying cards on the aquarium floor and was ₱laying a game of underwater Solitaire.
  • From the nearby office of Set Enter₱rises Associate Scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague, the radio was ₱laying and the voice of Karen Car₱enter could be heard singing, “He’s ₱laying solitaire…”
  • Michelangelo lost yet another game of underwater Solitaire.
  • He ₱ut his ₱laying cards away and went into a trance.
  • Brought about by the ribbiting of Harry Houkalaila the Hy₱notic Frog outside the Set Enter₱rises Building.
  • While in the trance, Michelangelo had a vision of Raymond Leo Cardinal Burke and Bisho₱ Athanasius Schneider the Auxiliary Bisho₱ of Astana Kazakhstan dying suddenly.
  • As both were unvaccinated, the vaccines were not res₱onsible.
  • The mystically inclined crustacean then had a vision of the ghosts of MacBeth and Lady MacBeth walking around the Vatican dis₱ensing homicidal advice.
  • Then Michelangelo had a vision of the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio telling a television interviewer, “Murder is not a crime…”
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Thursday January 26th
  • 2023.

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  • Egy₱tian Vam₱ire Set In New York City

    December 20, 2022 at 9:36 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

  • The London based billionaire ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire Set is in New York City and ha₱₱ens to run into an old flame.
  • Set the London-based ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire who owned Set Enter₱rises had been in New York City the ₱ast few days.
  • He had been tracking down information about the mysterious vam₱ire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky).
  • Trotsky had been turned into a vam₱ire by the Aztec vam₱ire ₱rincess Qonzilqointec back in August of 194O.
  • As a vam₱ire he had changed his name to Lev Tomi so that Josef Stalin would think he was dead.
  • 3O years ago Tomi had become the Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.
  • Using ideas given to him by nutcase New Age Gaia worshi₱₱ing Canadian businessman Maurice Strong (a good friend and acquaintance of Canada’s Marxist-Leninist former ₱rime Minister ₱ierre Elliot Trudeau) who was the Chairman of the 1992 Rio de Janeiro Earth Summit, Tomi embarked on a 3O year ₱lan ₱ro₱aganda effort to convince the not-so bright ₱o₱ulace of the Western world that man made CO2 emissions were res₱onsible for climate change.
  • In that ₱ro₱aganda effort, Tomi was 99% successful.
  • Although much of the credit should also be given to ₱ublic education school boards and local teachers’ unions who had managed to successfully fulfill British writer, journalist, humourist and essayist Malcolm Muggeridge’s ₱ro₱hecy of successfully overeducating their students into imbecility.
  • In January 2O21, senile old fool Joe Biden had gone one better than the 2OO5 Hurricane Katrina rioting looters and the 1992 Los Angeles Riots rioting looters by actually managing to successfully steal the White House. No doubt Joe Biden would have ₱robably said to the Hurricane Katrina looters and the LA riots looters, “You folks ain’t black enough.”
  • That same month of January 2O21, senile old fool Biden had named Lev Tomi the Chief of Staff of the U.S. Armed Services.
  • In Se₱tember 2O22, Lev Tomi had also been named the Commander-In-Chief of NATO forces in Eastern Euro₱e.
  • After having gone to the UN building in New York City and having obtained all this information about Lev Tomi from talking to a Mexican Communist UN di₱lomat successfully ₱lastered on ₱atron Tequila, Set left the di₱lomat with his half a bottle and half a worm and walked back to his hotel in New York City.
  • While walking back to his hotel, Set ha₱₱ened to encounter an old flame.
  • A woman he had met on a tri₱ he had taken to New York City back in 1925.
  • The woman had been a rising young Broadway starlet whom he had turned into a vam₱iress.
  • The woman was still a Broadway starlet exce₱t every 10 years she had to re-invent herself.
  • . . .
  • The satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio was sitting in his study.
  • He had just sent an emissary to Qatar to sign an interfaith religious dialogue agreement with the demon ₱azuzu who had shown u₱ in the kingdom just after Bergoglio’s home country of Argentina had just been ₱resented with the 2022 FIFA World Cu₱.
  • Bergoglio then turned his attention to a dart board he had set u₱ on an old Crucifix.
  • On the dartboard was a ₱hoto of Father Frank ₱avone the U.S. National Director of ₱riests For Life that he had just defrocked from the ₱riesthood not for seducing altar boys or fellow ₱riests or nuns like so much of the Francis ins₱ired clergy in the Catholic world but for devoting so much time to the ₱ro-Life cause.
  • . . .
  • British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Tuesday night ₱odcast.
  • He wore a t-shirt that said “TRAD” CATHOLICS WHO SAY FRANCIS IS DEFINITELY ₱O₱E ARE DEFINITELY IDIOTS.
  • When he had finished with the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Renfield then went on to discuss the subject of Canada’s effeminate metrosexual Mini Me version of the late Soviet dictator Josef Stalin better known as Justin Castro Trudeau.
  • Said Renfield, “Scumbag Justin Trudeau is once again showing what a tyrant he is in excer₱ts from CTV National News’ year end interview with him in Toronto. In the interview, Fidel Castro’s bastard son shows that he is little more than a ₱iece of feces that has fallen from the anus of Sauron the lord of the rings.”
  • And Renfield said that with all due res₱ect.
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Tuesday December 20th 2022.

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  • Athelstan The Valet Listens To Portions of Renfield’s Podcast

    September 22, 2022 at 11:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    The Greek goddess Hera listens to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Thursday night podcast.

    She was horrified by the possibility that Russian President Vladimir Putin might launch a nuclear attack on the West.

    Renfield seemed to have insider information from Russia as well as knowing the contents of the Third Secret of Fatima (whose text the Vatican claimed to have released back in 2000 but they lied. They only released a vision associated with the secret not the secret itself).

    Hera decided she must do something.

    She didn’t want to see the destruction of planet Earth.

    She got in touch with the Byzantine vampiress Theodora who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I.

    Theodora had been turned into a vampiress on June 28th 548 AD by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

    Otherwise Theodora would have died from cancer.

    “Hello,” Theodora picked up her phone at her estate in Athens, Greece.

    . . .

    Senile old fool Joe Biden was not listening to Renfield’s Thursday night podcast.

    He was sniffing the needles on his marijuana smoking cactus planet which inhaled marijuana cigarettes and then exhaled marijuana smoke.

    Biden believed the cactus needles were the hair of The Woman In Green.

    The Woman In Green was the name of a 1945 Universal Pictures Sherlock Holmes film with Basil Rathbone as Holmes and Nigel Bruce as Dr. Watson that he watched on late night television last night.

    “Mr. President,” one of his aides entered the Oval Office.

    “Ow,” Joe pricked his nose on a cactus needle, “What is it?”.

    “The wealthy residents of Martha’s Vineyard are once again complaining about immigrants being sent there,” his aide said.

    “Who’s sending immigrants this time?” Biden wiped his nose with a used diaper, “Ron DeSantis or Greg Abbot?”.

    “Greg Abbott the Governor of Texas,” his aide answered, “But this recent batch of immigrants are different. These are zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors recently raised from the dead in Mexico by a South African witch doctor at the behest of the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec who’s the goddaughter of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl (whom Utah Sen. Mitt Romney being Mormon thinks is the person of Jesus Christ when he visited the Americas according to Mormon teaching).”

    “Why did Qonzilqointec send these zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors across the Mexico-U.S. border anyways?” Biden asked. “And does this Qonzilqointec have nice hair? Is it worth sniffing?”.

    “Qonzilqointec is very beautiful, she does have nice hair and it probably is worth sniffing,” his aide explained.

    “This new King Charles III of England was quite cranky when I sniffed the flowers on his mother’s coffin quite intently as the cameras looked away,” Biden recalled, “He asked me what the Hell I was doing? It was quite sad that it was a closed casket funeral. I quite enjoyed sniffing Her Majesty’s hair when she was alive. I wonder if…”

    “Mr. President, to answer your 1st question,” his aide interjected, “The reason Qonzilqointec sent these living dead Aztec warriors across the border was to re-annex parts of the U.S. to a revived Aztec Empire.”

    “But I don’t think Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts was ever part of the Aztec Empire,” Joe Biden reflected.

    “It is now,” another aide entered the room.

    . . .

    Athelstan the butler and valet to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was doing his daily housecleaning duties around the Set Estate mansion.

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who lived in the mansion) was doing his Thursday night podcast from his bedroom.

    Athelstan occasionally listened in before going on to his next cleaning job.

    As he passed the room, he heard Renfield say, “They are a bunch of Belgian waffles who have fruits all over them…”

    “Is Renfield talking about breakfast?” Athelstan asked Amadeus Emanon as he walked by.

    “No,” Athelstan shook his head, “I think he’s talking about the Belgian Conference of (supposedly) Catholic Bishops who have voted to approve blessing gay unions.”

    Athelstan dusted Set’s statue of Napoleon.

    He walked by Renfield’s room where he heard Renfield say, “The Vatican is a Communist craphole…”

    When he finished dusting Set’s nude statue of Pauline Borghese as Venus Victrix, he passed Renfield’s room again where Renfield asked, “What does Joe Biden have in common with the Vatican?”.

    When he had finished dusting the statue of Queen Cleopatra, again he passed Renfield’s room where Renfield said, “Meanwhile in other news, U.S. Vice-President Kamala Harris is bitching that a group of zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors have taken over her house…”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Thursday September 22nd
    2022.

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    Warrior Princesses Spray Holy Water On Kremlin Meeting Rooms

    September 16, 2022 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    South Korean vampire huntress Hyung Grace Kwan is back home in Seoul, South Korea ready to perform with her cello at a classical concert

    This past Tuesday September 13th and past Wednesday September 14th Hyung Grace Kwan had been in Astana Kazakhstan killing evil vampires and vampiresses who were attending Astana’s 7th Interfaith Congress.

    Then yesterday Thursday September 15th Hyung and her ancestress the immortal princess Kwan Yin were spraying Holy Water around every single Kremlin meeting room in Moscow.

    That is because Xi’s supernatural spirit advisor the Black Dragon was supposed to meet with Putin’s supernatural spirit advisor the demon Moloch (who was appearing to Putin in the guise of the Archangel Michael) in the Kremlin on that date.

    The Holy Water that Hyung and Kwan used was from a cache of bottles of Holy Water that had been personally blessed by Pope St. Pius X (who was Pope from August 4th 1903 to August 20th 1914).

    St. Pius X was the Pope who condemned the Modernist heresy (The Modernist heresy denies the Virgin Birth, Incarnate Deity, Substitionary Atonement For Humanity’s Sins by Dying On The Cross, Bodily Resurrection and 2nd Coming of Jesus Christ).

    Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) is the apotheosis of the Modernist heresy.

    That’s why Joe Biden’s Oval Office which is thoroughly doused in Pope Francis’ blessed Holy (?) Water (when it isn’t being doused by Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements) is able to attract every single demon, devil, fallen angel and unclean spirit on the planet.

    So as a result of the Holy Water doused on the Kremlin and its meeting rooms, the Black Dragon and Moloch (posing as Michael the Archangel) were unable to meet.

    Their human operatives Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping and Russian President Vladimir Putin were able to meet however at Samarkand Uzbekistan for the Shanghai Cooperation Organization summit.

    At a sideline meeting between Xi and Putin at the SCO Summit, Xi personally humiliated the Russian leader for losing the war in Ukraine.

    Although that was nothing to the personal humiliation that Xi suffered Wednesday night at the hands of a holographic image of British MP Renfield R. Renfield at the Astana state banquet for Xi.

    Hyung Grace Kwan in the meantime had received a personal request from an admirer (a Calgary based geopolitical analyst) to play Antonio Vivaldi’s Spring Allegro from The Four Seasons at tonight’s cello concert.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Friday September 16th
    2022.

    Permalink 49 Comments

    Greek Goddess Hera and Samhain Cardinal Salaman

    September 5, 2022 at 9:40 pm (Art History, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    The Greek goddess Hera was modelling at a fashion show in Rome, Italy

    Bothered by the infidelity of her chronically unfaithful husband the Greek god Zeus, Hera was trying to gain some self confidence by modelling among the most beautiful women in the world at a fashion show in Rome.

    Among the guests who would be attending the fashion show was Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

    Cardinal Salaman was one of the few heterosexual Cardinals to work in Pope Francis’ Vatican which had been described by one commentator as “one vast uncloseted closet of gays”.

    The Grindr hook-up app was the most downloaded app in the Vatican today.

    Pope Alexander VI (aka Rodrigo Borgia) was turning over in his rotating barbeque spit down in Tartarus over the news that his Vatican of intense heterosexual lust and orgies had become a Vatican of intense homosexual lust and orgies under Pope Francis.

    Samhain Cardinal Salaman was anxious to see real women for a change rather than the fairy queens who paraded up and down the halls of the contemporary Vatican.

    Although according to members of Joe Biden’s cabinet and the brainless mainstream media there was no such being as a real woman anymore.

    Samhain Cardinal Salaman was impressed by Hera’s performance on the catwalk in this early September Roman fashion show.

    After the show was over, he went backstage to the dressing rooms to talk to the Olympian goddess.

    “Excuse me but aren’t you the Greek goddess Hera?” Samhain Cardinal Salaman asked her.

    Hera the beautiful goddess (often left alone by the “always searching for a new pussy” Zeus) turned to look at him.

    “I am,” she answered, “Aren’t you Samhain Cardinal Salaman the only heterosexual Cardinal who works full time at the Vatican?”.

    Later that evening the Cardinal and the goddess had dinner and wine together in an exclusive Rome restaurant.

    “So how did you recognize me?” Hera asked the Cardinal.

    “From your busts, statues and portraits that are kept in the lower floors of the Vatican,” Samhain answered, “At one time they were on the main floor of the Vatican but after Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected Pope, all those works of art were moved downstairs and replaced by all the busts, naked statues and nude portraits of the ancient Greek gods. No goddesses allowed.”

    “It’s a wonder why Francis has not commissioned new works of art for the Vatican that are inclined towards his tastes,” Hera licked a pair of olives from her martini.

    “Well it was tried once with a notorious Australian male model named Uncle Ernie (who had posed for Salvador Dali back in the 1950s). Uncle Ernie served as the model for a nude Goliath. However after the world’s first microscope, invented by Dutch father and son team Hans and Zacharias Janssen in 1590 and kept in the Vatican Archives, was broken after the papal investigation team tried to locate something that was apparently far far less than gargantuan on Uncle Ernie posing as Goliath’s statue, a new work of art was never commissioned again,” Cardinal Salaman explained.

    “Interesting,” Hera swallowed the olives.

    They got around to discussing the recently failed Artemis 1 moon rocket launches.

    “I’ve been told they failed because Artemis is furious that Joe Biden apparently killed at least two of her sacred deer on a deer hunting expedition last fall,” Cardinal Salaman ate his spaghetti.

    “That is true,” Hera nodded, “Originally Artemis just thought that one of her sacred deer was slain. So senile old fool Joe sacrificed a daughter from an extra marital affair to Artemis last Thursday in Philadelphia. Just before Joe gave his Hitlerian Fuhrer like speech (with Nazi flag colours in the background behind him) in Philadelphia in which he threatened to send the military after half of the electorate in the country. ”

    “Yes, I heard that Joe did such a good job at impersonating a Hitler under the influence of alcohol and an Henry VIII style over indulgence in roast beef (the original Fuhrer was both a teetotaler and a vegetarian) that apparently an independent film producer is thinking of making a film in which both Joe Biden and Justin Trudeau will have the lead starring roles,” Cardinal Salaman noted, “The movie will be about Adolf Hitler meeting Jesse Owens at the 1936 Summer Olympics.”

    “Yes, I heard that too,” Hera smiled.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Monday September 5th
    2022.

    Permalink 44 Comments

    Demon Buffalo Watches Fauci Created Repulsive Ugly Looking Female Get Beheaded By Pan Goatee

    July 22, 2022 at 9:34 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

    The Black Forest Ham Sandwich at Subway restaurants is quite delicious.

    Of course if Bill Gates, Justin Trudeau, the World Economic Forum and Pope Francis’ Vatican have their way, that will be replaced by the Black Fly Insect Sandwich.

    As the great Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg noted, “Bugs are coming and we will eat them… sauteed, butteried, fried, boiled… and we will be grateful…”

    Pan Goatee had just been in a Subway restaurant where he ate a Black Forest Ham Sandwich.

    Something that would be unavailable after the World Economic Forum Great Reset on Sandwiches and Burgers had taken place.

    As he crossed the street, he noticed a female cyclist on a bicyle wearing an overarching helmet, a bandana and dark sunglasses.

    Goatee deduced that either she was an uglo (and didn’t want to be beheaded) or she was up to some nefarious activity.

    Looking at the backpack on her back which was stuffed with green dye stained $100 bills as well as a handgun, Pan deduced that it was the latter. Although it could have been the former as well.

    The satyr did not bother to find out.

    He beheaded the criminal female cyclist and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

    Thus saving the Canadian taxpayer the cost of a court trial.

    As Goatee walked down the street, he passed a bus stop booth where stood a really super repulsively ugly looking female.

    She was not of the fat ugly blimp variety.

    She was quite thin (no doubt having adopted the Bill Gates recommended Scarsdale Airhead Diet of mealworms and crickets).

    Since Pan wasn’t going to catch a bus at that stop, he didn’t bother to behead the repulsive looking uglo.

    Unbeknownst to Pan however, the repulsively ugly looking thin female uglo was an assassin working for mad scientist Dr. Anthony Fauci.

    Fauci, in an Axis of Evil with the Norse trickster god Loki, was the man responsible for genetically creating hundreds of thousands of ugly looking women in the City of Calgary.

    Both Fauci and Loki were ticked off at the fact that Goatee had beheaded so many of their ugly looking creation.

    This particularly repulsively ugly looking thin female uglo had scored the highest score on a Fauci-Loki created IQ test administered among Calgary female uglos.

    She had scored a whopping 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000001% on the answers.

    So she had been given a Fauci-Loki invented laser death ray hand gun (that was available to the general public through a mail order house in Chicago) and instructed to vapourize Pan Goatee into non-existence.

    The super repulsively ugly looking thin female uglo pointed the laser death ray hand gun in the direction of Pan Goatee.

    She should have pointed the gun straight at the satyr.

    But being an airhead, she pointed the gun up into the air and vapourized a rope held scaffold platform sending some poor window cleaner plunging to his death.

    She then raced and ran to get in front of Pan.

    The fact that the satyr could still be seen walking down the sidewalk should have clued the clueless airhead into the fact that Pan Goatee hadn’t been vapourized into non-existence.

    But being an airhead, she had no clue.

    Goatee then beheaded the super repulsively ugly looking thin female uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x etc. etc. … pieces.

    The Greek god Ares (who was filling in for the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon Krampus who was on summer vacation) arrived to pick up the remains of the super repulsively ugly looking thin female uglo and carry them down to Tartarus.

    The Demon Buffalo of Buffalo Lake stopped Ares.

    “Allow me,” the demon buffalo’s eyes glowed fiery red, “to carry this ugly looking bitch’s remains down to the lowest level of Hell where she belongs.”

    As the demon buffalo of Buffalo Lake carried the ugly looking bitch down to the lowest level of Hell where she belongs, Pan Goatee decided to go to his favourite downtown lounge to have a cool refreshing drink on this hot summer day.

    As he approached the lounge he noticed a super repulsively ugly looking thin female uglo standing about a dozen feet away from the entrance.

    Not wanting to take any chances that this uglo was likewise a Fauci-Loki trained assassin, Pan likewise beheaded this super repulsively ugly thin female uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

    Ares arrived to pick up the remains.

    . . .

    Pope Francis was sitting in his office.

    A Jesuit anthropologist and folklore expert who had been sent to Alberta to discover the origins of the Demon Buffalo of Buffalo Lake entered the office to orally deliver his report.

    “So Father Grimm, what have you discovered about the origins of the Demon Buffalo of Buffalo Lake, Alberta?” Bergoglio asked.

    “Hadn’t we better lower the Cone of Silence and I can tell you on the off chance that Vladimir Putin has this place bugged… or I should say… wiretapped?” Father Grimm suggested.

    The Vatican’s Cone of Silence had been invented by a Jesuit inventor who had drank one too many tequilas and who had watched one too many episodes of the 1960s television series Get Smart.

    Pope Francis pushed an intercom on his desk, “Cardinal Frutti, lower the Cone of Silence.”

    The Cone of Silence was lowered.

    “So, Father Grimm,” Bergoglio addressed the Jesuit anthropologist and folklore expert, “what have you found out about the origins of the Demon Buffalo of Buffalo Lake?”.

    “Nothing,” Father Grimm replied.

    “Cardinal Frutti,” Francis again pushed the intercom on his desk, “Raise the Cone of Silence.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written Friday July 22nd
    2022.

    Permalink 14 Comments

    Ghost of Richard M. Nixon Comments On An Award Winning Logo

    July 4, 2022 at 9:48 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    “Pope Alexander VI has several mistresses but I want only you”

    The Renaissance Popes were notorious for the number of concubines and illegitimate children they had.

    That problem would not affect the Vatican 500 years later.

    BBC News Announcer: Pope Francis’ choice of a “rainbow” logo by a male Italian massage therapist is sparking a firestorm with a phone number linking the logo designer to a gay porn site.

    At a press conference in the Apostolic Palace this past Tuesday June 28th, the Vatican declared Giacomo Travisani (a practitioner of New Age healing and sensual massage therapies) the winner of its contest for the logo of the Vatican Jubilee Year 2025.

    Travisani wiped his professional Facebook page clean on Friday morning July 1st as controversy over his sexuality and profession escalated.

    A mobile phone number on the therapist’s professional Facebook page has been identified as the same number on a gay porn website.

    The number advertises, in Italian, a “beautiful massager for singles, couples at home.”

    In the description, Travisani describes himself as “a nice masseur, dark, cute, beef, male, performs only at home, anti-stress massage for him only or couples” offering “50 minutes of relaxation, well-being and intense plesure”.

    Pope Francis personally picked Travisani’s logo as the winner of the top 3 chosen submissions Archbishop Rino Fisichella told reporters at the Tuesday June 28th Vatican press conference.

    The contest received 294 entries from 213 cities and 48 different countries with participants ranging from 6 to 83 submitting their art work.

    “In fact,” Archbishop Fisichella noted, “many were handmade drawings by children all over the world and it was truly moving to review these drawings that were the fruit of imagination and simple faith.”

    “But,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield commented as he watched the BBC News story on his television, “In Pope Francis’ eyes, what was the fruit of imagination and simple faith could not compete with the fruit of a fruit.”

    Renfield’s friend Amadeus Emanon was watching the same BBC News story on his television.

    He was also reading a book that was a biography of the late former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon.

    The page he was reading detailed a conversation that then President Nixon was having with a White House aide, “That Bohemian Grove is the faggiest goddamned thing you can imagine. I never shake hands with anyone who comes from San Francisco anymore.”

    As BBC showed the Giacomo Travisani winning logo for Jubilee 2025 that consisted of 4 Sodom and Gomorrah Rainbow Pride individuals hugging a broken, bent and twisted Cross, the ghost of Richard M. Nixon appeared alongside Amadeus Emanon and commented, “That Pope Francis chose the faggiest goddamned design you can imagine. You better not shake hands with anyone who comes from the Vatican anymore.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Saturday July 2nd
    2022.

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    Renfield Addresses UK Catholic Parents Conference

    January 12, 2022 at 11:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield had been invited to address the UK Catholic Parents Conference.

    The President of the UK Catholic Parents Conference Mr. Finnegan Nyet Awake had been asked to select a speaker for tonight’s conference.

    While under the influence of seven glasses of Scotch whisky, Finnegan decided on MP Renfield totally oblivious to the fact that the Vatican would definitely not approve of his choice.

    Renfield began his speech to the UK Catholic Parents Conference this way,

    “Do you remember? Do you remember when “the Pope” wasn’t a lurid yellow-teethed ghoul who wanted to destroy the Mass and put you and your family in a quarantine camp? I remember. God bless Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI. One who did not have the Seat of Saint Peter purchased for him by George Soros. I’d like to start my address by reading a recently discovered addendum added to the list of anathemas of the Council of Trent (1545-1563). The addendum, lost for centuries until now, reads thus, “If any whose name be Jorge Mario Bergoglio, let him be anathema…”

    . . .

    The anchorman for the Set News Network (SNN) read the following news headline,

    “The UK’s own government data shows that 286% more deaths occurred among the vaccinated than among the unvaccinated…”

    . . .

    Meanwhile at a Ronald McDonald House in Vancouver British Columbia, a family whose 4-year-old son is being treated for leukemia are being evicted from the facility (a charity that provides a temporary home to pediatric cancer patients and their families free of charge while they’re being treated at local hospitals) because they’re not vaccinated against Covid-19.
    Said the boy’s father, “This is some kind of crazy evil like I’ve never seen in my life.”
    Shortly after the boy’s father made the statement, holographic images of Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, Pol Pot, Justin Trudeau, Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels, CNN’s Jim Acosta, Dr. Josef Mengele and Dr. Anthony Fauci appeared outside the Vancouver Ronald McDonald House holding up a huge banner that read, “WE ARE NOT EVIL.”

    . . .

    As Amadeus Emanon sat at the back of the auditorium, his friend Renfield was delivering the final line of his speech to the UK Catholic Parents Conference,

    “The fact that there’s a Highway To Hell and only a Stairway To Heaven says a lot about the anticipated traffic numbers.”

    Amadeus thought sadly about one of his favourite singers Ronnie Spector the lead singer of The Ronettes who died today at the age of 78.

    Ronnie Spector the lead singer of The Ronettes

    Amadeus said a silent prayer that Ronnie Spector was on that Stairway To Heaven following in the footsteps of actor Sidney Poitier who left this earthly existence a few days ago.

    Holographic images in front of Ronald McDonald House in Vancouver heard the AC/DC song Highway To Hell played in back of them.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday January 12th
    2022.

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    France’s Basilica of Saint-Denis Vandalized

    January 10, 2022 at 11:32 pm (Crime, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were sitting in The Sherlock Holmes Pub in London eating salted peanuts and drinking beer.

    The TV was tuned to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s podcast which was extremely popular with The Sherlock Holmes Pub patrons.

    Renfield began his podcast wearing a Star of David badge that bore the inscription “I’m unvaccinated”.

    The current Vaccinazi government of Germany in Berlin moved to charge Renfield with sedition even though he was a British subject and not a German citizen.

    Renfield began,

    “A massive-145 country study found that there was a sharp increase in Covid transmission and death after the so-called “vaccines” were introduced in those nations.
    The 99-page study was titled “Worldwide Bayesian Casual Impact Analysis of Vaccine Administration On Deaths and Cases Associated With Covid-19: A Big Data Analysis of 145 Countries”.
    In the U.S. specifically, it was found that the jab caused a whopping 38% more Covid cases per million and an even more astonishing 31% increase in Covid-deaths per million.
    Meanwhile deranged medical bureaucrats, tyrannical politicians and the brainless mainstream media continue to push for everyone on the planet to be vaccinated.
    Vaccinazi regimes across the world continue to push for vaccine mandates and compulsory mandatory vaccinations.
    Yet in lieu of this new report based on the 145 countries’ own government data, it is my contention that only a completely demonically possessed asshole would wax enthusiastic about the Covid-19 vaccines at the start of this new year 2022.”

    . . .

    Meanwhile at the Vatican in Rome today, Pope Francis waxed enthusiastic about the Covid-19 vaccines in his annual address to the ambassadors accredited to the Vatican which is held shortly after the start of every New Year.

    . . .

    On January 5th of this year, the evil Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai had used his grandfather clock pendulum, which had the flaming head (caused by Hellfire) of Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin attached to it, to hypnotize a man into attacking and vandalizing the Basilica of Saint-Denis in Paris.

    Today Louis Alphonse de Bourbon the Duke of Anjou (and heir to the Royal Throne of France) released a statement,

    “I learned with sadness and dismay the vandalization of the Saint Denis Basilica in which my ancestors rest.
    The statues of Saint Denis, Saint Genevieve and Saint Antoine were broken with an iron bar as well as many display cases containing sacred objects.”

    Louis Alphonse de Bourbon the Duke of Anjou and heir to the throne of France in front of the Basilica of Saint Denis

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Monday January 10th
    2022.

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