Lilith, The Raven and The Keys of Peter

May 13, 2018 at 9:03 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , )

Lilith, The Raven and The Keys of Peter

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was in a chapel in a Cardinal’s quarters in the Vatican.

One of the Cardinals who was secretly a pagan.

So there were no Crosses or Crucifixes present in the chapel.

The sole faces on the altar looked like the faces of screaming deities undergoing the most horrendous forms of torture.

Blood red roses 🌹 and greenish vines curling like slithering snakes 🐍 crawled up the altar pillars leading to the ceiling.

The painting above the altar was a picture of a medieval castle that looked like it had once belonged to Count Dracula.

The candles and dark looking candle holders looked like they may have once graced the set of a 1930s Bela Lugosi horror film.

In Lilith’s sensuously exquisite gloved right hand she held a raven that held in its beak a chain with a golden key while her sensuously exquisite gloved left hand pressed against her breasts a pearl necklace to which was attached the Renaissance era Cross that belonged to the Borgia pope Alexander VI.

She addressed an entity who had stuck its head out of a hole in the floor of the chapel.

“Mercutio,” she said referring to the raven she held on her right hand, “has in his mouth the central key belonging to Peter and his successors. Lucifer willing, Mercutio will soon get ahold of the other keys of Peter and the Vatican will be totally ours.”

The entity nodded approvingly before disappearing below the chapel floor.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 13th
2018.

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Pope Rihanna and Diablos Nocturna At The 2018 Met Gala

May 12, 2018 at 11:59 pm (Avatar Speaks, Celebrities, Commentary, Culture, Fashion, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Pope Rihanna and Diablos Nocturna At The 2018 Met Gala

Diablos Nocturna stood in the secret Time Tunnel at the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Geneva, Switzerland.

The date was Saturday May 12th 2018.

Standing alongside him in the tunnel was the powerful French witch Sabrine Davignon.

https://pin.it/66zjfkycjmk57p

The CERN scientist Dr. Hades Spawnus threw the switch.

Both Diablos Nocturna and the French witch Sabrine Davignon went back in time to the Met Gala 2018 in New York City held on Monday May 7th 2018.

And standing there was Pope Rihanna on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art:

https://pin.it/oluijvyvk2jt63

Sabrine Davignon commanded the elements, “Freeze time except for…” and then she spoke names in Latin which confused the post Vatican II Jesuit priest Father James Martin.

All people at the gala were frozen in time and place except for Pope Rihanna, Diablos Nocturna and Sabrine Davignon herself.

Diablos Nocturna went and knelt in front of Pope Rihanna.

He kissed her papal ring.

She then turned around and bent over and lifted her glittering sparkling papal robe and short tight skirted mini dress and he kissed her ass.

Sabrine Davignon thought to herself, “How like new members of the White House staff and the Trump Administration when they go in to meet the Donald in the Oval Office for the first time.”

Pope Rihanna kissed Diablos Nocturna on the forehead and both cheeks (facial cheeks for clarification).

She then ran her fingers through his hair and asked, “Have you been a good boy, Diablos Nocturna?”.

“No, I’ve been a very bad boy, your Holiness,” Diablos Nocturna confessed.

“Then I must punish you,” Pope Rihanna removed from underneath her robe a large wooden paddle that had written on it in large print MY PAPAL BLESSINGS AND INDULGENCES (written in Latin of course which would have further confused Father James Martin had he not been frozen in time and place).

She then sat on the steps, commanded Diablos Nocturna to take off all his clothes and lie across her skirted lap.

When Diablos Nocturna had done so, Pope Rihanna then administered 666 very strong and powerful whacks on his bare buttocks with her Papal Blessings and Indulgences (in Latin) paddle.

When she had finished, Diablos Nocturna then arose off her lap bearing a huge erection.

“Now perform the act of ritual tantric sex,” Sabrine Davignon said.

As Diablos Nocturna and Pope Rihanna performed the act of ritual tantric sex on the steps of The Metropolitan, the vampiress Golgotha (the daughter of Lilith) flew on top of a Cross in the Heavenly Bodies: Fashion and The Catholic Imagination Exhibit at the Met and hung there with her arms outstretched.

Meanwhile in Rome Italy, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith was dancing around the Vatican wearing a blood red evening dress and creating a huge whirlwind as she did so.

Sabrine Davignon (the immortal daughter of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft in her beautiful young maiden form and King Saint Louis IX of France from a night in which the blessed saint fell into temptation) smiled as she watched the Lady of the Dance on her smart phone (the image was being recorded by the cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus on his smart phone in Rome).

Meanwhile at the Vatican itself, Pope Francis awakened in his bedroom confronted by the sight of Beelzebub the Lord of the Flies doing up his fly on his Prada men’s suit after emerging from the papal bathroom 🚽.

And finally Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster awoke in a sweat in his lobster tank at the Set Enterprises laboratory in London.

He quickly wiped the sweat off his lobster brow with one of his claws.

He wondered, had what he saw all been a dream or was it real?

It would be some time before Michelangelo pronounced his final judgement on the matter.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 12th
2018.

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The Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron

May 4, 2018 at 10:58 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Egyptian Vampiress Isis, Pope Francis and Emmanuel Macron

The Egyptian vampiress Isis walked down the garden steps of the royal palace at Versailles:

https://pin.it/5acbbfmnqdrzvj

She had first seen Versailles back in 1799 when she came to France from Egypt with Napoleon Bonaparte.

Both Napoleon I and later Napoleon III the vampiress Isis had acted as a strong supporter of and an influential advisor to.

Now after having visited the royal palace at Versailles, she would be driven by limousine to Napoleon’s tomb in Paris where she would stop and say a prayer to her grandfather the Egyptian sun god Ra.

Then she would head to the French Presidential Palace there to meet with Emmanuel Macron the President of France 🇫🇷.

While visiting President Macron, they would hold a teleconferencing call with Pope Francis in Rome.

. . .

Pope Francis had been seeing a lot of demons around the Vatican the past month.

He finally got so sick of seeing them, he finally broke down and asked one directly, “Why are you wretched demons hanging around the Vatican these days?”.

“Where else can we go?” The demon shrugged, “You yourself have said that there is no Hell.”

Francis went away harrumphing like Major Hoople in that old newspaper cartoon and comic strip Our Boarding House.

He looked at the date on the calendar – May 4th 2018.

He was supposed to do something today but he couldn’t remember what it was.

He knew what he was planning to do tomorrow- May 5th 2018.

He had thought of canonizing Karl Marx as a birthday present for the latter’s 200th birthday tomorrow and declaring him a member of the Catholic Communion of Saints but he had been strongly advised against it by most of his cardinal advisers.

What was it he was supposed to do today?

He grabbed a pitchfork and stuck it up the rear end of some tiny elf sized little demon who got in his way.

Then he remembered.

He was supposed to be having a teleconferencing call with French President Emmanuel Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis who would be calling him from Paris.

Pope Francis went to his room and waited by the speaker phone on his desk.

The phone rang.

Francis picked it up.

Sure enough it was President Macron and the Egyptian vampiress Isis.

After an exchange of pleasantries, they got down to business.

“Holy Father,” Isis asked, “what do you think of the idea of using a recently discovered ancient manuscript on magic written by King Solomon to invoke ancient jinn to rebuild the original Temple of Solomon on Mount Moriah?”.

Pope Francis spat out a mouthful from his glass of Mogen David wine.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 4th
2018.

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Pope Francis and The Mysterious Stranger

April 7, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pope Francis and The Mysterious Stranger

Renfield R. Renfield MP was giving a speech on the Best of British Culture to the Society of Friends and Supporters of the Royal Opera.

He was finishing singing the Lumberjack Song from Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

Lord Geese-Hogg who was sitting at a table with his wife Lady Geese-Hogg motioned for one of the banquet waiters to bring him another drink.

“Genghis,” Lady Glenda Geese-Hogg called her husband by his first name, “I think you’ve had enough to drink tonight.”

“Oh, all right,” Lord Genghis Geese-Hogg sighed.

Renfield, as he was getting out of his woman’s bra and dress and taking off his lumberjack jacket, was suddenly handed a note.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” Renfield went up to the microphone 🎤 to make an announcement, “I’ve just been informed that the Syrian government has used chemical weapons in a toxic gas attack on Douma the last rebel held town in Eastern Ghouta. So far 70 civilians have died including numerous children.”

Renfield immediately changed into his William Wallace Scottish warrior kilt accompanied with his Highlander broad sword 🗡.

“On a personal observatory note,” Renfield added, “Both French President Emmanuel Macron and America’s Donald Trump have warned the Syrian government in the past that a chemical weapons attack is a red line that mustn’t be crossed. We all know that Trump isn’t the limp wristed pansy that Barack Obama was as a military leader.
Now a chemical weapons attack by the Syrian government has been done in the open.
That red line has been crossed.
How will Trump and Macron respond?
If they let it pass, they’ll lose face.
We all know that the one thing Donald Trump will never do is lose face.
And the homicidal regime of Vladimir Putin have said they will support the homicidal regime of Bashar al-Assad at all costs. Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, the world may now be on the brink of World War III.”

Lord Genghis Geese-Hogg called back the waiter, “I’ll have a hundred more drinks 🍹 🍸 🍷 please.”

“Make that double for me,” Lady Glenda Geese-Hogg added.

. . .

Pope Francis was in his bedroom when suddenly the door opened and in walked a mysterious stranger with jet black hair, jet black eyebrows, a jet black moustache and a jet black goatee beard.

Two locks of hair stuck up on top of his head that almost looked like horns.

The man was wearing a red velvet jacket, suit and pants.

“Who are you?” Francis asked.

“Mephistopheles,” the man laughed.

“Mephistopheles?” Francis looked horrified, “What do you want?”.

Mephistopheles laughed again.

He then turned and opened the door to exit.

“I hope I never see you again,” Francis, who was feeling around for his Cross but couldn’t find it, said in a horrified gasp.

Mephistopheles turned around and laughed the most sinister laugh that Francis had ever heard in his life, “I don’t think we shall ever meet again, Father Bergoglio,” the fallen angel paused and then smiled a most malevolent smile, “after all as you yourself have most recently said, there’s no such place as Hell.”

The entity then left the door open and walked out of the papal bedroom.

Intensely sinister laughter echoed down the halls and corridors.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 7th
2018.

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Dracula and The 95 Theses of Martin Luther

February 28, 2018 at 11:48 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dracula and The 95 Theses of Martin Luther

Pope Alexander VI (Rodrigo Borgia) was walking incognito among the people in the streets of Rome on October 13th 1497.

He suddenly noticed a very very beautiful woman in an elegantly styled red dress walking the street.

The Borgia Pope (as he was called by his enemies) was definitely not immune to the charms of beautiful women despite his professed vows of priestly celibacy which he never really followed.

He walked over in her direction when he saw her.

The woman who noticed his approach smiled him a very warm and sensuous smile.

“Good evening, your Holiness,” she said in a voice as sultry as the warm autumn night over Rome.

“You know me?” The Pope was temporarily startled.

“I am the Cumaean Sibyl,” the woman replied, “There currently are and there will be many more in the future who say you definitely do not deserve the title Holiness. In fact, it will be your reign that will be held as most responsible for the thunderbolt that will strike the Church and the Papacy 20 years hence.”

“Thunderbolt? Twenty years hence?” Alexander VI was taken aback.

“Of course nothing to the foundations that will be shaken when a kraken meets the Pope over 520 years from now during the time of a rare snowstorm in Rome,” the Sibyl replied with a knowing smile prior to vanishing in the Roman night.

. . .

It was the evening of October 31st 1517 and the vampire Dracula was walking the streets of Wittenberg, Germany with some personal business he had to attend to.

He suddenly stopped in his tracks when he noticed a hooded monk running down the street carrying a huge leather bound bundle of papers in his arms along with a hammer and a very long nail.

He noticed the monk run up to the doors of All Saints’ Church ⛪ in Wittenberg and nail the volume of papers to the door.

The monk then looked around and not seeing anybody (for Dracula had turned himself into a black vaporous fog) immediately ran back to his monastery from which he came.

Dracula was innately curious as to what was in the documents.

He approached the door when he started feeling physically sick.

He had forgotten about the Cross on top of the Church ⛪.

Ever since he had asked the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith to bite him on the neck and turn him into a vampire as he lay dying on a January evening in the year 1477, the condition of Lilith granting his request was that he must sell his soul to the Devil.

Dracula had agreed and he had become deathly afraid of a Cross or a Crucifix ever since.

Despite the agony he felt as he approached the door underneath the Cross of Christ, curiosity was getting the better of him.

Was this what they meant when they said curiosity killed the cat?

Would curiosity now kill the bat 🦇?

He lumbered over and reached to grab the document.

Despite the most intense sensation of heartburn 💔 he had ever felt in his life, Dracula read through the entire document.

“Well,” Dracula said to himself as he limped away from the door beneath the Cross of Christ, “this is really going to rock the boat. Maybe even cause the Barque of Peter to sink some day.”

. . .

Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol was reading an English translation of the Prophecies of the Cumaean Sibyl done by a Classics and Latin scholar at Cambridge University.

He had come across an interesting passage, “When a rare snowfall comes to Rome and a kraken meets with the Pope, know that…”

And then the rest of the passage wasn’t translated.

Whitstable cursed silently.

Snow had fallen in Rome Italy this past Monday.

And yesterday an anonymous source had sent him video footage from the Vatican showing a kraken entering Pope Francis’ apartment this past Monday night.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 28th
2018.

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Pope Francis Meets The Kraken

February 26, 2018 at 11:22 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pope Francis Meets The Kraken

Pope Francis was in his bedroom reading a book when suddenly the door opened and in walked a kraken.

“You’re a kraken?” Said Pope Francis who was somewhat startled 😱.

“That I am,” said the Kraken as he bowed, “I am the Kraken known as Napoleon VI the self-proclaimed Emperor of the French.”

“It seems to me that no one else has accepted your proclamation,” Francis wiped his glasses with a tissue.

“Sadly that is true,” the Kraken admitted as he sprayed underarm deodorant under all 8 of his tentacled arms, “but after a few years of Emmanuel Macron, I’m sure the French will come around to my way of thinking.”

“What do you want with me?” Asked Francis who was still slightly taken aback by the fact that there was a Kraken in his room.

“I hear that you have the original manuscripts of the Sibylline Prophecies in the Vatican Archives,” the Kraken helped himself to cheese and crackers off the papal night table, “I was wondering if you could give me written permission to visit the Vatican Archives so I can examine them.”

Pope Francis reached for a pen and a sheet of paper and then looked at the Kraken, “If I give you such written permission, do you promise to leave here quietly?”.

“I do,” the Kraken reached into his knapsack and pulled out 8 pairs of slippers, “and just to show you I have good faith, I’ll put these on now.”

The Kraken started putting the slippers on his 8 tentacled arms, “With these on, you won’t hear a single peep as I walk away from this room.”

“Relieved to hear it,” the Pope used a handkerchief to wipe sweat off his brow, “What do you want with the Sibylline Prophecies?”.

“I was listening to Coast-To-Coast AM with George Noory on short-wave radio last night,” the Kraken explained, “and the guest mentioned that there was a reference in the Sibylline Prophecies to a Kraken arising in the last days.”

“Really?” Pope Francis bit the end of his pen, “Isn’t that the Kraken of whom Zeus says “Release the Kraken!” at the end of time.”

“Oh, it’s that Kraken,” the self-proclaimed Emperor Napoleon VI looked disappointed, “I hear Zeus is keeping that Kraken in one of the Set Enterprises laboratory aquariums under the monitoring of Dr. Cadbury Rocher.”

“You mean to say the Greek god Zeus actually exists?” Pope Francis’ jaw dropped.

“Yes,” the Kraken Napoleon VI nodded vigorously, “Didn’t you know that one of your own Cardinals- the Cardinal JM- actually worships him in secret and prays to him all the time instead of the Catholic God of whom you said that there is no Catholic God.”

Pope Francis shook his head, “No, I had no idea that Cardinal JM was a Zeus worshipper.”

The Pope bit the end of his glasses thoughtfully.

“What are you thinking about?” The Kraken asked as he took the Vatican Archives entry permission slip with papal signature on it.

“I was just thinking maybe I should name Cardinal JM to be in charge of Vatican Inter-Faith and Inter-Religious Dialogue,” the Pontiff mused aloud.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 26th
2018.

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Churchill’s Ghost Comments On Commie Loving “Useful Idiot” Catholic Bishop

February 6, 2018 at 8:57 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Churchill’s Ghost Comments On Commie Loving “Useful Idiot” Catholic Bishop

Renfield R. Renfield was reading today’s newspaper headlines to the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill as they sat together in his parliamentary office enjoying glasses of brandy (one material and one spiritual).

“Here’s one,” Renfield hiccoughed, “Bishop Marcelo Sanchez Sorondo the chancellor of the Pontifical Academy of Social Sciences has praised the Communist Chinese 🇨🇳 state as “extraordinary”. He goes on…”

“Right now, those who are best implementing the social doctrine of the Church are the Communist Chinese government,” said Bishop Sorondo whose New Testament was covered in dust and cobwebs while his copy of Quotations From Chairman Mao looked to be recently read.

Going on with his lavish praise of the Chinese Communist government, Bishop Marcelo Sanchez Sorondo said, “You do not have shantytowns, you do not have drugs, young people do not take drugs.”

Wiping foam from his mouth, the bishop went on to say, “The economy does not dominate politics as happens in the United States.”

Bishop Sanchez Sorondo added that China 🇨🇳 was implementing Pope Francis’ encyclical on the environment Laudato Si better than any other country and praised it for defending the Paris Climate Accord.

“It would appear,” Churchill helped himself to a ghostly spectral watercress, cucumber and cream cheese sandwich, “that the men Pope Francis has surrounded himself with in the Vatican 🇻🇦 are either idiots or perverts if not both.”

“A most astute observation, sir,” Renfield toasted the late former Prime Minister with his glass of brandy.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 6th
2018.

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Osiris Views Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity Scene

December 23, 2017 at 9:06 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Osiris Views Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity Scene

The Egyptian vampire Osiris had been invited by the Rome based spiritist medium Cassandra Sibylline to view the Vatican Christmas Tree and Nativity scene.

Osiris was worried that as a vampire, he might suffer intense pain viewing Christian symbols on the tree 🌲 and in the Nativity scene.

Osiris need not have worried.

For the decorations on the Vatican Christmas tree in Saint Peter’s Square this year were devoid of Christian religious symbols.

There were peace signs and yin/yang symbols but no angels, no depictions of the Magi and no images of Mary, Joseph or the Christ Child.

As for the Vatican Nativity scene, it did have Joseph, Mary, the Magi and the shepherds. It also had a naked man (who Cassandra Sibylline said looked “like the poster boy for the local Tony Curtis Spartacus Gym and Health Spa”) lying on the straw.

An ad for the Vatican Nativity scene was in fact rejected by Facebook saying “Your ad can’t include images that are sexually suggestive or provocative.”

Commented Osiris to Cassandra Sibylline, “I like this year’s Vatican Christmas tree and Nativity scene. It makes a vampire feel right at home.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 23rd
2017.

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Renfield, Pope Francis, The Himalayan Serpent and The Buddha Statue

November 5, 2017 at 5:23 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Renfield, Pope Francis, The Himalayan Serpent and The Buddha Statue

“Pope Francis is the best and the ultimate argument against the heresy of Ultramontanism,” Renfield R. Renfield said in a speech to a group of Catholic Bishops from England and Wales which didn’t go over so well with those assembled there.

Renfield’s speech itself was supposed to be a peace offering with the Conference of Catholic Bishops of England and Wales after Renfield had given a speech in Parliament in which he had held up a photo of Pope Francis and said, “Only an idiot in his entirety would want to do away with the death penalty in its entirety.”

Pope Francis was alleged to have said to Walter Cardinal Kasper, “Will no one rid me of this turbulent MP?”.

Similar remarks had been made by Russian President Vladimir Putin to senior officers of the Russian FSB a couple of days earlier.

. . .

A mysterious golden cobra figure who called himself Maitreya lived in the Himalayas on the Tibet-Nepal border.

He lived deep inside a cave beneath one of the mountains.

Every hour at midnight local time, he was able to astral project himself anywhere in the world.

But by 9:00 AM local time, whenever the fur wearing golden cock atop the mountain crew, Maitreya immediately returned to his cave from wherever he was in the world.

So the damage the golden cobra serpent could do to the world was limited to between midnight and 9 AM local time on that particular spot of the Himalayas on the Tibet-Nepal border.

All controlled by the fur wearing golden cock on the top of the mountain.

The cock had been placed there by Saint Michael the Archangel to bind the golden cobra serpent.

Unfortunately on November 2nd 2017, the Chinese People’s Liberation Army were practicing firing a new big gun long-range cannon in the region.

The cannonball killed the 5000-year-old fur wearing golden rooster 🐔.

The result was Maitreya could now astral project any time of the day.

The golden cobra serpent entered a Buddha statue in a Buddhist temple in the City of Rome.

There the serpent planned its next move.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday November 5th
2017.

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Friday The 13th: 13th October

October 13, 2017 at 2:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Friday the 13th: 13th October

Cardinal JM approached Pope Francis with the shocking news.

An ancient Canaanite Vampiress Priestess of Baal, six Vampiric Knights-Templar, a Headless Horseman with a Jack O’ Lantern pumpkin head riding a zombie black horse who kept singing a silly song from an early 1960s American TV comedy Mr. Ed the Talking Horse and a giant black cat who was wearing a hockey goalie 🥅 mask that she couldn’t seem to get off her head had taken over the Vatican without a shot being fired.

“What do they want?” Pope Francis asked wearily.

“They want to be put in charge of training the papal Swiss Guards,” Cardinal JM replied.

“Well, who am I to judge?” Pope Francis took out a nail file and started to file his fingernails.

Outside in Saint Peter’s Square, a lone figure stood out in the middle of the square and said while looking up at the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica, “Jacques de Molay, thou art avenged.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 13th
2017.

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