Renfield’s Dirigible Ride Over Rome

March 23, 2021 at 9:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had borrowed the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis powered dirigible airship The Peregrine Falcon to take an aerial sightseeing trip over the city of Rome.

He had invited his friend Amadeus Emanon to join him.

“Did you get the permission of the British government to take this trip?” Amadeus asked as he sipped his strawberry milkshake.

“Of course not,” Renfield licked his chocolate ice cream cone.

“But I thought the British government made it illegal for British nationals to travel outside the country without a reasonable excuse for doing so,” Amadeus mentioned.

“They issued a proclamation to that effect,” Renfield nodded, “A copy of which I recently used as toilet paper. But I just ignore it like I do every other dictatorial decree issued by Boris Johnson’s zombie nosferatu controlled government.”

“I see,” Amadeus put down his empty glass of strawberry milkshake and ordered another from the airship steward, “And how many governments in the world are controlled by zombie nosferatu?”.

“Probably most of them,” Renfield answered.

“The situation doesn’t look very promising,” Amadeus reflected aloud.

“Neither did it look promising for Winston Churchill when he became Prime Minister of Britain in May 1940 and France fell to the Nazis a month later,” Renfield pointed out, “Yet he won in the end.”

“The colosseum where Christians were thrown to the lions,” Amadeus pointed to the ancient structure down below.

“I’m sure the far-left secularist Democrats in the U.S. Congress would like to build colosseums up and down America and throw Christians to the lions all in the name of their so-called Equality Act and every other piece of Days of Lot and Days of Noah and current days of Neo-Bolshevik Communist garbage they can come up with,” Renfield sipped a martini, “And Joe Biden would eagerly sign it.”

“But I thought Joe Biden claimed to be Catholic,” Amadeus took his strawberry milkshake from the steward.

“Yes but Biden doesn’t realize that a Catholic is supposed to be Christian,” Renfield explained, “He thinks a Catholic is supposed to worship Baal and Baphomet like every other registered Democrat who claims to be a Catholic like Nancy Pelosi and New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo and the majority of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops in America.”

“I see we’re now flying over Saint Peter’s Basilica,” Amadeus looked down below.

“Where Pope Francis has forbidden priests from celebrating their own private Masses in the various chapels,” Renfield noted, “Something they had been allowed to do for the past 1500 years – in the old Basilica- and then in this present Renaissance era built structure- until now.”

“Why do you suppose Pope Francis has forbade priests from saying private Masses there?” Amadeus ate a chocolate eclair.

“Because most of the private Masses the priests were saying were according to the rite of the old Tridentine Latin Mass and Francis hates the old Tridentine Latin Mass,” Renfield ordered another martini from the airship steward.

“Why does Francis hate the Tridentine Latin Mass?” Amadeus inquired.

“Because Lucifer/Satan/The Devil hates it and I don’t imagine the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama thinks much of it either,” Renfield replied, “She much prefers the sacrifice of llamas and small children. As for Francis, being a Latin American Jesuit trained in Marxist Liberation Theology, he’d naturally have an antipathy for the old Tridentine Latin Mass.”

“I see almost every government in Western Europe is forbidding public celebrations of Easter Mass this coming Easter,” Amadeus noted.

“Yes, Italy, Germany, the UK and the list goes on and on,” Renfield sipped his second martini.

As nightfall approached, Nero’s ghost walked around the colosseum playing his fiddle.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 23rd
2021.

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Harvey Tallbanger, Antichrist Apostle Mario Draghi, Inanna and Ishtar

March 12, 2021 at 11:10 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi announced that Italy would be under a total lockdown over the Easter weekend for the 2nd year in a row.

Before going to address a virtual press conference, Draghi unbeknownst to himself, was injected with Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s Truth Serum by Harvey Tallbanger (the invisible to mortals) 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

Harvey was a Welsh pooka a mischievous supernatural creature from Welsh and Celtic folklore.

During the press conference, Italian Prime Minister Mario Draghi was asked why he decided that Easter should be cancelled for the 2nd year in a row in Italy.

“Because I’m an Apostle of the Antichrist,” Draghi (well under the influence of the Dr. Cadbury Rocher Truth Serum) replied.

As he answered, the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST appeared in red and black felt ink letters on his forehead.

Draghi continued, “If we can stop the Sacrifice of the Mass from being said in Churches all over the world, this will definitely lay the foundation for the Antichrist’s imminent appearance on the world stage. Because unbeknownst to many of you, many world leaders and I worship the Antichrist in private and secret. We’ve been able to use the Wuhan CCP Virus pandemic to close Churches and stop the Sacrifice of the Mass all over the world. And it’s especially effective when you’re able to stop the Sacrifice of the Mass from being said at Christmas and Easter.””

Joe Biden was watching the Mario Draghi press conference on his TV set in the Oval Office.

He asked his marijuana pot smoking cactus plant Sweet Dementia sitting atop his Oval Office desk, “Am I one of those world leaders who secretly worship the Antichrist?”.

Because he had apparently forgotten.

“Yes,” Sweet Dementia spelled out the word in the air through her pot exhalation smoke.

“Wow, that really blows my mind,” Beijing Joe remarked, “No wonder I get along so well with Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. To say nothing of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts.”

Meanwhile in the Vatican, the Sumerian goddess Inanna and her identical twin sister the Akkadian/Assyrian/Babylonian goddess Ishtar were watching the Mario Draghi press conference on the TV set in Pope Francis’ study.

They had flown to Rome with Pope Francis on his plane ride back from Iraq.

“We must stop Mario Draghi from talking,” Inanna remarked to Ishtar, “He’s blabbing too much.”

They flew (like bats out of Hell) to the site of Mario Draghi’s press conference where they knocked him out.

As Draghi lay there unconscious on the floor, he received a spaghetti and meatball laced cream pie in the face – courtesy of Harvey Tallbanger.

Inanna or Ishtar? : Only her hairdresser knows for sure.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 12th
2021.

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Demon Moloch Addresses His Disciples In BBC Newsroom

November 18, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Rebel News Canada one of the few independent and non-Marxist news media outlets in Canada visited the office building home of Dominion Voting (the vote tabulation company whose vote tabulation machines in key battleground states suddenly flipped thousands and thousands and thousands of votes from Donald Trump to Joe Biden at the last minute on election night Tuesday November 3rd) at 215 Spadina Avenue in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

They were shocked to discover that Dominion Voting actually shares an office floor with the Tides Foundation.

Tides which recently changed its name to Make Way is an extreme left eco-radical charity that is financed by George Soros.

When the Rebel News camera crew were inside the Dominion Voting Building at 215 Spadina Avenue in Toronto, they were removed from the building by the building manager.

Before they were removed by the building manager for committing the heinous offense of journalism (a heinous offense that the mainstream Marxist media has never been guilty of the past 20 years) they discovered that Tides and Dominion had requested the building manager remove all signage and references to their shared building occupancy.

Rebel News in its investigation had discovered documents that Dominion Voting had donated almost $50,000 to Hillary Clinton’s personal foundation.

Of course only independent news media outlets such as Rebel News would bother investigating and reporting on this.

For the mainstream Marxist media news outlets believe in lies and not the truth.

. . .

Ghost of Joseph Stalin: “My spirit has effectively taken over the BBC (which now stands for British Bolshevik Corporation).

My former ally and erstwhile enemy Winnie (Winston Churchill) must be spinning in his grave.

They the BBC have definitely become the Ministry of Truth of Orwell’s 1984.”

As Stalin enjoyed himself pontificating while sitting at the desk of the late BBC comedian Jimmy Savile, the demon Moloch was standing (maskless of course since he was a global overlord of the plant) in the middle of the BBC newsroom giving a pep talk to his many disciples among the reporters and news editors of BBC World News.

Moloch (injesting a plateload of human babies): Thank you for your splendid efforts on my behalf and on behalf of my many allies.
As you know the British public and the public of the world are gullible sheep.
They think an organization which knew about and did nothing and in many cases covered up for BBC actors and stars who were guilty of rape, pedophilia and necrophilia, they think an organization such as this is actually going to tell the truth about Covid-19 and also tell the truth about who actually won the U.S. Presidential election.

Moloch then starts to cackle and laugh uproariously.

His disciples among the reporters and news editors of BBC news, soon join in on the demonic and satanic laughter and cackling, sounding equally demonic and satanic in their cackling and laughter.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield reading the news on his own independent non-Marxist news podcast:

The Vatican is turning its Social Media Department of Pope Francis Instagram, Twitter and Facebook Account Staff writers upside down in an effort to find the heterosexual male in the department who dared to Like in Francis’ name a female lingerie model on Instagram.

Such things are Verboten in Pope Francis’ Vatican.

You can like a Burt Reynolds Cosmopolitan Centrefold picture but not a photo of a female lingerie model.


Natalia Garibotto, 27, the Brazilian lingerie model whose Instagram photo of her wearing a tartan schoolgirl skirt, stockings and suspenders was apparently “liked” by Pope Francis on his Instagram account.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 18th
2020.

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Render Unto Pachamama The Things That Are Pachamama’s

October 19, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading the news on behalf of a BBC news announcer who had come down with a severe bullet wound after being shot by the husband of the woman he had slept with last night.

The announcer later died in hospital where doctors following WHO (World Health Organization) guidelines listed his death as being caused by Covid-19.

Renfield finished the newscast with, “And in other news, the Communist Pope Francis has decided not to name the anti-Communist Pope John Paul II a Doctor of the Church or a Patron Saint of Europe. Wow, big shocker there.”

Needless to say, Renfield had added quite a number of ad libs of his own while reading the newscast script.

When the newscast was over, he got on Skype with his friend Amadeus Emanon who was currently residing in Australia.

Said Amadeus, “I hear the Vatican City State Mint has issued a 10-Euro silver coin depicting the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama giving birth to planet Earth.”

The coin showed an Inca woman with long plaited hair entwined with long ears of corn (representing the earth’s fertility) about to give birth to a globe of the world.

The coin designed by Bergamo sculptor and engraver Luigi Oldani was designed to mark the 50th Anniversary of the UN’s World Youth Day (which was first held on April 22nd 1970 on what would have been Lenin’s 100th birthday).

“That’s right,” Renfield nodded, “The French Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin noted in a 1922 letter he wrote to Lenin and Trotsky that the Inca Empire which lasted from 1438 to 1533 practiced a form of scientific socialism and that furthermore the Incas worshipped an earth mother goddess called Pachamama. It was Teilhard’s contention that through the use of Pachamama, he Teilhard could bring about a Hegelian synthesis of Catholicism and Soviet Communism.”

“And what was Lenin and Trotsky’s reaction to that?” Amadeus, who was normally always hungry, had pushed aside the plate of Uncle Ernie’s Meatloaf a la Hotel California that Uncle Ernie had made him.

“They told him good luck with that,” Renfield answered, “Lenin himself croaked in January 1924 and Trotsky himself was forced into exile from the USSR in February 1929 after coming out on the losing end of a power struggle with Joseph Stalin.”

“So nothing really became of Teilhard’s Pachamama synthesis of Catholicism and Soviet Communism?” Amadeus declined Uncle Ernie’s aptly named Jonestown Guyana Kool-Aid Cocktail.

“Not until Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elevated to the Papacy on March 13th 2013 and took the name Pope Francis,” Renfield replied.

“So anything else about this coin I should know?” Amadeus waved aside a cup of Uncle Ernie’s Outback Road Kill Brew Coffee.

“Well it basically shows the Ukhu Pacha- the mondo interno in Spanish giving birth to the Madre Terra in Spanish,” Renfield sipped a glass of wine.

“What’s that in English?” Amadeus inquired.

“Well the mondo interno is the inner world or world under the earth which gives birth to the world above the earth – Mother Earth- Madre Terra- which is the world of plants, animals, soil and humans,” Renfield explained.

“What does this inner world consist of?” Amadeus was curious.

“Well Ukhu Pacha is the inner world and is associated with the realm of the dead and as the realm of the dead, Ukhu Pacha is inhabited by the supay a group of demons which torment the living. Supay with a capital S is also the name of the Inca god of death – Supay – who is the ruler of the Inca underworld the Ukhu Pacha as well as the race of demons (supay with a small s) that inhabit it. The name Supay is roughly translated diablo (Spanish for devil) in most South American countries.
Pachamama herself lives in the Ukhu Pacha (inner world or world under the earth) as a fiery red dragon. When she goes above the earth in times of harvest, she becomes a beautiful woman. In effect, the red dragon gives birth to a woman who is Mother Earth.”

“Why does this sound exactly like the Book of Revelation or the Book of the Apocalypse to me?” Amadeus watched Uncle Ernie dressed as Mystery Babylon dancing around the kitchen in a slit skirted red dress and holding an overflowing gold cup of red wine.

“Because it is,” Renfield acknowledged, “Why Pope Francis doesn’t have a tattoo tattooed to his forehead that says “I am the False Prophet of Revelation Chapter 13″ is beyond me. The symbolism on the new 10 Euro coin there is for anyone who’s a student of Inca mythology to see. Perhaps he’s waiting for the Great Global Reset next year (which will happen if the Biden-Harris ticket wins in November) before he unveils that tattoo on his forehead.”

Pachamama: The Lady In Red listens to the whispers of El Diablo

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 19th
2020.

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Pachamama, Sultan Erdogan and The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog

October 4, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama walked through the Vatican Gardens accompanied by the flaming disembodied head of the French Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

It was a year ago today that Pope Francis had wooden statues of Pachamama brought into the Vatican Gardens and a whole bunch of people had bowed down to them.

Teilhard’s flaming head set fire to some of the plants and trees in the garden and Swiss Guards had to bring forth buckets of water to put it out.

A Vatican spokesman later blamed the Vatican Gardens fire on Climate Change.

. . .

In the Armenia-Azerbaijan War over Nagorno-Karabakh, things were taking a definite change for the worst.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was warning people that the conflict had the potential to erupt into World War III but New Age prophetess Oprah Winfrey and demonically possessed self-help guru Anthony Robbins (a Calgary based geopolitical analyst once had the misfortune to quite literally run into the self-help guru as he was rushing down the stairwell of Edmonton’s Westin Hotel where the self-help guru was putting on a seminar and judging from Robbins’ vitriolic reaction that’s how he came to know the self-help guru was demonically possessed) said that Renfield should not be giving out such negative vibes.

A genetically created talking ostrich (genetically created by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher) who had his head buried in the sand agreed with Oprah’s and Robbins’ assessment of the situation.

The Greek god of war Ares (anxious for a major war) had directed Azeri forces to launch a missile attack on the Armenian Nagorno-Karabakh regional capital of Stepanakert.

In response Armenian Nagorno-Karabakh military forces aided and abetted by Thor the Norse god of thunder (who was also anxious for a major war) proceeded to shell the city of Ganja which was Azerbaijan’s second largest city.

Large numbers of civilians were killed on both sides.

Meanwhile in Turkey, Morrigan the Irish Celtic goddess of war (who was the third member of the trio of ancient pagan deities trying to start a Third World War the past couple of years) was busy encouraging Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan to finish off the Armenian Genocide that the Ottoman Empire neglected to finish off 100 years ago.

It didn’t take much to persuade Erdogan who already had that in mind.

. . .

Meanwhile in the small Suffolk coastal village of Dunwich England, Sherrielock Holmes and Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit Secret Agent Miranda Singh managed to locate the taxidermically stuffed body of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog whose less than 15 minutes of fame occurred when he appeared in the 1975 fantasy/comedy film Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

The stuffed rabbit’s body was found next to an Andy Warhol autographed Campbell’s Soup Can in The Buddha and Edison Anchor Watt Pub in Dunwich where retired fishermen and retired sea captains often hang out.


Pachamama the Inca earth mother goddess posted a photo of herself on Twitter to let people know that she looked nothing at all like the wooden statues of herself that Pope Francis commissioned an avante-garde Jesuit artist to make to use in last year’s Amazon Synod opening worship ceremonies in the Vatican Gardens

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 4th
2020.

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Stalinist Demonic Sex Orgy Forum Held At Georgetown University

September 2, 2020 at 10:11 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was talking with his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype.

He was showing Amadeus video of a recent Georgetown University on-line forum called Pope Francis and The Reform of The Church.

Renfield and Amadeus were viewing the forum video using The Dr. Cadbury Rocher Supernatural Entity Detector Lens.

The three headed dog Cerberus was seen carrying around a poster that the great Renaissance painter and sculptor Michelangelo who resided in the Elysian Fields (referred to as the Church Expectant In Paradise in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer) had drawn and designed for the on-line forum.

Below the block letters POPE FRANCIS AND THE REFORM OF THE CHURCH could be seen Pope Francis operating a crane with a wrecking ball that was totally demolishing Saint Peter’s Basilica while the figure of the Blessed Virgin Mary could be seen weeping in the background.

The crane bore the logo Baal and Baphomet Wrecking Co. on it.

And speaking of Baal and Baphomet, they were also present at the on-line forum overseeing a group of demons who were all engaged in various sexual positions with one another.

Also present were the ghosts of Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung, Fidel Castro and Pol Pot who had all been granted day passes from their rotating barbeque spits down in Tartarus to attend the forum.

The August 31st Georgetown forum was sponsored by Georgetown University’s Office of The Vice-President For Global Engagement (the coat of arms for the office, designed by the Dutch Renaissance painter Hieronymus Bosch, showed a sexually perverted deviant satyr and a sexually perverted deviant centaur getting it on with one another in an orgiastic menage a trois that also involved a Pope Francis blessed wooden statue of the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama).

Addressing the forum was Paul Elie a senior fellow at Georgetown’s Berkeley Center For Religion, Peace and World Affairs.

Mr. Elie was wearing a shirt that had been spraypainted (in glow in the dark ultraviolet light) with the words GLOBALIST WINDBAG.

Said Mr. Elie, “I think there’s active resistance to Pope Francis taking place in the United States.”

“Brilliant deduction,” piped up the ghost of Sherlock Holmes who was sitting in the front row of the empty (except entirely covered by copulating demons) auditorium, “What clued you in?”.

Mr. Elie then went on blathering about the Catholic social teaching of Pope Francis as Josef Stalin handed him a copy of Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto and Mao Tse-tung handed him a copy of Mao’s Little Red Book.

Next to mince up on the forum stage was some flaming dandy named Austen Ivereigh who had written two books on Pope Francis’ pontificate and was currently working on a third (“Talk about Much ado about nothing!” Renfield remarked to Amadeus).

Whined Ivereigh, “Critics of Pope Francis are denying that he’s led by the Holy Spirit.”

The fallen angel Mephistopheles, who was sitting in the back row of the auditorium, started choking on his hot buttered popcorn and his jumbo glass of Coca-Cola when Ivereigh talked about Pope Francis being led by the Holy Spirit.

As Mephistopheles continued to roll on the floor in huge gales of laughter amidst all that spilled popcorn and spilled Coke, Ivereigh continued snivelling, “To charge that Pope Francis is a heretic or a modernist or to claim that he’s trying to change the fundamentals of the Church is signs of a schismatic mentality.”

At that moment in the Vatican, Pope Francis was asking his valet, “Have you seen my keys?”.

“What keys would those be?’ His valet asked.

“The Keys of Saint Peter,” Francis answered.

“Oh, you lost those keys several years back,” his valet noted.

Then a third person, the oh so perfectly curly haired dandy Argentine Father Augusto Zampini of the Vatican Dicastery For Promoting Integral Human Development pirouetted his way on to the forum stage.

Father Zampini lavished praise on the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus for opening up the way for Pope Francis to accelerate his church “reforms” and his plans for global governance on the world.

“The Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church,” Zampini insisted.

“Well,” Renfield remarked to Amadeus, “When the Vatican representative to this year’s Davos Conference in Switzerland says that the Pope doesn’t have a Stalinist plan for the Church, you can rest assured that the Pope has a Stalinist plan for the Church.”

“May the Pope have many divisions at his beck and call,” Stalin’s ghost grinned.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 2nd
2020.

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Origins of May The Fourth

May 4, 2020 at 10:00 pm (Entertainment, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, Mystery, News, Science-Fiction, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Origins of May The Fourth

Back in the mid-1970s as George Lucas was holding auditions for the voice of Darth Vader for his upcoming Star Wars motion picture, among those auditioning for the voice role were writer and actor Truman Capote.

This was the line all audition participants were to speak when auditioning for the Darth Vader voice role, “May the Force be with you.”

Then it came Truman Capote’s turn to audition.

Truman Capote (speaking with his usual fruity lisp): May the fourth be with you.

Thinking that for a galactic villain whose voice was supposed to send chills down audience spines and make their blood run cold, the makers of Star Wars settled for the deep baritone voice of James Earl Jones instead.

However back in the early 2000s, an Australian with the popular nickname of Uncle Ernie found the Truman Capote audition video tape in an old Star Wars lunch box he found in some old cupboards in his backyard unregulated and illegal pharmaceutical manufacturing lab.

And a legend was born.

Since that time, May the Fourth became known as International Star Wars Day.

As May the Force Be With You became Truman Capote’s immortal May the Fourth Be With You.

. . .

“Beam me up, Scotty,” William Shatner spoke to his AI automated dispenser of his favourite brand of toilet paper as he sat on his starship throne.

. . .

Meanwhile in the catacombs of Paris, Marmalade Montague the eccentric former baker who had recently proclaimed himself Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze overheard a plot by a group of Grand Orient Lodge Freemasons to turn Notre Dame Cathedral into a New Age Freemasonic Temple.

Said the Grand Orient Lodge master, “I’ve been told by the Divine Falcon Headed Human Body Hybrid Horus himself that a world altering miracle will happen this coming May 14th.”

“That’s the same day Pope Francis told all the religions of the world to pray together isn’t it?” the Lodge secretary inquired.

“It is,” the Grand Orient Lodge master answered.

Marmalade Montague decided he better exit the catacombs before his presence was noted.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 4th 
2020.


The Greek goddess Aphrodite pointing downwards at a snake slithering along the floor of one of the Vatican Museum halls.

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Archbishop Vigano Says The Vatican Never Released The Text of The Third Secret of Fatima

April 29, 2020 at 10:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Archbishop Vigano Says The Vatican Never Released The Text of The Third Secret of Fatima

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were once again walking the streets of Rome.

They noticed a cardinal giving money to a bunch of distressed looking drag queens standing at a street corner.

“That cardinal looks familiar,” Nimrod remarked as he licked a black fly flavoured ice cream cone he was holding in his little webbed hands.

“That’s Cardinal Konrad Krajewski the Papal Almoner (papal chaplain in charge of distributing money to the deserving poor),” Asmodeus replied, “Ever since the Covid-19 pandemic struck, Rome’s transgendered prostitutes have suffered a work stoppage as a result of no more clients taking them out.”

“So, why is the Papal Almoner giving them money?” Nimrod inquired.

“Guilt, I imagine,” Asmodeus ate a take out plate of lasagna, “It was Francis’ Vatican officials who were undoubtedly their biggest customers. Kept them in their Paris and Milan designed sequined dresses, Wolford pantyhose and Christian Louboutin spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes. Now they’re having to settle for hand me downs from the Salvation Army Women’s Clothing Department. It must have been quite the come down financially and fashionally speaking.”

A rare American tourist couple – a man and a woman- were out walking the deserted streets of Rome in total disobedience to the Italian government’s lockdown orders.

They were walking up the street and away from the Vatican.

The woman turned around and looked at the Vatican whereupon she turned into a pillar of salt.

“I see Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano (who’s been in hiding since the summer of 2018 to avoid being bumped off by Pope Francis’ gay lavender mafia) is saying that the Third Secret of Fatima (words spoken by the Virgin Mary to three shepherd children at Fatima, Portugal in 1917) has never been officially released by the Vatican despite Vatican claims they released it back on June 26th 2000,” Nimrod ate some Boston clam chowder soup with several flies in it.

“That’s true,” Asmodeus ate a beef donair, “British MP Renfield R. Renfield discovered the actual Third Secret in a retired Austrian Army colonel’s briefcase back on November 9th 2018. The same day that a geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield discovered that the text of the Third Secret had been given by the Virgin Mary to a Japanese nun Sister Agnes Sasagawa on October 13th 1973 finding the full message of Our Lady of Akita by deciding that the full message might actually be located at the back pages of Google Search on the topic Our Lady of Akita rather than towards the front.”

“And what was the essence of the message?” Nimrod swiped some hand sanitizing lotion from the back pockets of a Rome policeman so he could wash and sanitize his little webbed hands.

“It said that a Great War would be started in the 21st Century by Satan’s partisans in the East (possibly a reference to Russia or China or North Korea as Satan’s partisans in the West would of course be the United States of America and the European Union), fire would fall from Heaven and turn the waters of the ocean into steam and millions of people would die by the minute. There was also a prophecy that Satan would end up controlling one third of the Catholic clergy and Satan would succeed in infiltrating to the very top of the Church,” Asmodeus ate a submarine sandwich.

“What is considered the very top of the Church?” Nimrod struggled to get the top off a jar of roasted hazelnut peanut butter.

“The Papacy,” Asmodeus grabbed the jar of roasted hazelnut peanut butter for Nimrod and yanked the top off.

On the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica as the sun was setting, Pope Francis was making hand shadow puppets in the form of a horned goat’s head.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 29th
2020.

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Asmodeus, Bill de Blasio, Gal Gadot, Pachamama, Nimrod and The Miraculous Crucifix

April 2, 2020 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Asmodeus, Bill de Blasio, Gal Gadot, Pachamama, Nimrod and The Miraculous Crucifix

New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio (like all Marxist totalitarian despots in waiting outside Communist China and North Korea) was trying his hardest to use the Coronavirus pandemic to shut down religious centres of worship like churches and synagogues permanently.

He had announced last Friday that not only would those places of worship in New York City that remained open and ignored social distancing be fined but they may be closed permanently.

Mainland Chinese leader Xi Jinping and the ghosts of Josef Stalin and Mao Tse-tung (roasting away on their respective spits down in Tartarus) heartedly approved of Mayor Bill de Blasio’s announcement.

As Mayor Bill left his home today, he was surprised to get a cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity.

Meanwhile Gal Gadot who was wondering whether as a celebrity she was subject to the same home isolation rules as those of the common masses was putting her make-up on.

She had recently led a “star” studded cast of celebrity airheads and freaks in singing John Lennon’s song Imagine.

One little girl (whose grandmother had just died from the Coronavirus that morning) started bawling when she saw a TV news clip of Gal Gadot singing “Imagine there’s no Heaven…”

A short time later as Gal Gadot was once again filming and recording herself on social media, a cream pie was thrown in her face by an invisible entity.

“She doesn’t look so wonderful now,” Amadeus Emanon skyped to his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

. . .

The U.S. Navy destroyer the U.S.S. Spiro Agnew was sailing in the Caribbean Sea.

Ostensibly as part of a fleet of warships to stop the smuggling of illegal drugs.

Although there were some aboard the ship who wondered if it wasn’t to prepare for a U.S. military invasion of Venezuela.

That Trump might cave in to the American Deep State’s desire to invade Venezuela as a way of diverting the American people’s attention from the pandemic they were in.

Last week U.S. Attorney-General William Barr announced that he was charging Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro and other senior officials in the country with narco-terrorism, drug trafficking, money laundering and corruption.

Even with social distancing, none of those assembled for the Barr announcement in the U.S. Justice Department building were at close enough range to one of the pillars in the foyer to notice the dusty cob web covered skeleton of one John Q. Doe who had, 30 years ago, said, “I’m going to hold my breath until the U.S. Justice Department charges the American CIA with narco-terrorism, drug trafficking, money laundering and corruption.”

Doe might still be alive today if he had not taken his own statement so literally.

So there was always the possibility that an invasion of Venezuela would fall in line with the announced policy of stopping the smuggling of illegal drugs across the Caribbean Sea.

Meanwhile aboard the U.S.S. Spiro Agnew, a U.S. Navy sailor had just spotted the ghostly outline of Christopher Columbus’ flagship the Santa Maria as well as the haunted ghost ship the Flying Dutchman.

. . .

The demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod were sitting in the middle of an empty Saint Peter’s Square in Rome drinking bottles of cognac.

They noticed a coffin going by.

“I wonder if that’s a Coronavirus victim,” Nimrod said as he used his long tongue to carefully lick up every drop of the precious liquid from the bottle that he had for the most part emptied.

“According to my sources,” Asmodeus lit himself 3 dozen cigarettes and put them in his mouth, “that coffin contains the 14th Century Sienese School Miraculous Crucifix that survived the San Marcello al Corso Church fire of May 22nd 1519 and halted the Great Plague of Rome of 1522 but was unable to withstand Pope Francis’ long-winded Urbi et Orbi speech of this past March 27th 2020 as Francis blathered on comfortably standing under a canopy while the Miraculous Crucifix got drenched in the pouring rain since it was outdoors by itself with no canopy protecting it. The wood on the sculpture apparently tumefied and exploded as the rainwater penetrated it.”

“What part of Italy is the most devastated by the Coronavirus?” Nimrod asked as he opened up a bottle of Mexican beer that was more popular outside Mexico than it was inside.

“It’s the town of Bergamo Italy (population 122,000) that’s the epicenter of the epidemic,” Asmodeus answered as he used a fire extinguisher to put out his burning mouth, “where over 600 each day are dying from the virus.”

“Why does the name Bergamo ring a bell?” Nimrod inquired as church bells rang in the distance.

“It was the Bishop and the Diocese of Bergamo that were the first in Italy to publish the prayer to the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama on their website,” Asmodeus tried to bring back to life his water drenched cigarettes but was having about as much success as the Pope Francis invited Amazon female shaman who was using her rattles to try to raise the Miraculous Crucifix from its water drenched coffin.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 2nd
2020
The 15th Anniversary 
of the death 
of Pope Saint John Paul II

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Set, Baphomet, Moloch, The Coronavirus, Ratatoskr and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

March 9, 2020 at 11:00 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Set, Baphomet, Moloch, The Coronavirus, Ratatoskr and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

The London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was asked by his butler and valet Athelstan, “Tell me, sir, back during the world financial crisis of 2008, you went from being a billionaire to being a mere multi-millionaire. It was only Renfield betting all you had on Spain winning the 2010 FIFA World Cup that led to you becoming a billionaire again. Now that the stock markets today have taken their worst hit and plunge since the global economic meltdown of 2008, are you in danger of becoming a mere multi-millionaire again?”.

“Fortunately not, Athelstan,” Set sipped his martini and ate his caviar, “I learned my lesson from 2008. I have a wide reserve of gold that I bought and hid in an abandoned mine somewhere in the British Isles that is guarded by a clone that Dr. Cadbury Rocher made of Hades’ 3 headed dog Cerberus. So I’m ready for whatever downturn happens.”

“I suppose it was fears over the Coronavirus that sparked this panic, sir,” Athelstan handed the ancient Egyptian vampire a bottle of Corona beer with a lemon inside.

“It was,” Set nodded, “That and a row between Saudi Arabia and Russia over the price and supply of oil that sent oil prices into a down spin.”

Set then grabbed a bottle of tequila with a large worm inside the bottle from the tray that Athelstan presented to him.

. . .

The demon Baphomet was having a conversation with the ancient Canaanite god Moloch.

“This Coronavirus is quite delightful,” Baphomet drank a test tube full of the virus, “As a result, I see the Vatican has cancelled all public Masses in Rome and Italy from now until April 3rd.”

The pair were sitting in a totally empty Rome taverna.

“And from what I understand from my sources in the Vatican which are many,” the bull-headed god rubbed his metallic furnace belly, “Pope Francis would like to extend that indefinitely.”

“It was rather nice of George Soros, Hillary Clinton and the Sankt Gallen Mafia to force Benedict XVI to resign and put in Pope Francis for us,” Baphomet ordered an extra fruity strawberry daiquiri with a side of goat’s milk.

“It was,” Moloch nodded as he gratefully took his plate of the Hillary Clinton Secret Topping Pizza from the waiter.

. . .

After a day out campaign stumping for Bernie Sanders at which she told crowds, “He’s da man!”, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was back in her hotel room and opening one of her drawers to take out her vibrator to bring her some much needed relief.

It helped relieve her anxiety.

An intern might be good enough for Bill Clinton but it wasn’t good enough for her.

When she opened the drawer, she got the shock of her life when, instead of her vibrator, a red squirrel with elongated pointed ears jumped out at her.

“I think I’m going squirrelly,” she moaned as her skirt fell to the floor.

“I’m Ratatoskr,” the apparently talking squirrel introduced himself.

“The squirrel in Norse mythology who runs up and down the world tree Yggdrasil to carry messages back and forth between the eagle perched atop Yggdrasil and the serpent Nidhoggr who dwells beneath one of the three roots of the tree?” Alexandria asked as her bra came apart at the back.

“You’ve heard of me?” Ratatoskr grinned as he helped himself to a nut from a small jar labelled Alexandria’s Socialist Nuts.

“My yoga instructor talked about you last week as he came out of a trance after listening to an old LP called the Tibetan Buddhist Monks and Lamas’ Greatest Mind Altering Chants,” Alexandria explained, “What are you doing here?”.

“Well, I’m searching for a new job after the world tree Yggdrasil was cut down this past weekend by a Brazilian logging conglomerate that was given permission by Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro to do so,” Ratatoskr washed down the nut with a bottle of Amazon Rainwater.

“So what do you want with me?” Alexandria inquired.

“Well, I’m here to serve as your new spirit guide,” Ratatoskr grinned, “Your Silva Method instructor sent me. He figured you might need a new one since the leprechaun who had been assigned to you got sodomized by some guy dressed as a rainbow at the recent Queens NY Saint Pat’s For All Parade that was held this past Saint David’s Day. He’s now undergoing treatment for PTSD.”

Meanwhile in an abandoned mine in Cornwall, a Cerberus clone was keeping a close eye on Set’s pots of gold.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 9th
2020.

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