Michelangelo’s Vision of Dementia Prone Joe Biden and Satanic Airhead Alyssa Milano

May 2, 2020 at 10:26 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of Dementia Prone Joe Biden and Satanic Airhead Alyssa Milano

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was playing Solitaire with his deck of waterproof playing cards using his lobster claws when he suddenly picked up a TV news bulletin from the future on his psychic lobster antennae.

Announcer: The American Psychiatric Association spokesman went on to define Trump Derangement Syndrome as a mental imbalance which the most partisan Democrats in America are extremely prone to. A condition by which the most partisan Democrats become so mentally unhinged by the mentally deranged Donald Trump that they start developing positions which while representative of opposing viewpoints to Trump are about as equally mentally unbalanced and equally dangerous as those espoused by Mr. Trump.
In other news, satanic witch airhead Alyssa Milano brushed off the sexual assault that dementia prone Joe Biden tried to pull off on Ms. Milano last night when he broke into her apartment wearing a Bill Clinton mask.
Mr. Biden tried to force himself on Ms. Milano by taking off her bathrobe.
His attempt at coitus was suddenly interrupted when he started screaming “Stella!” and then started screaming that he may have missed “a streetcar named Desire”.
The senile Presidential candidate started rummaging through her bathroom medicine cabinet but was unable to find any Viagra.
He had to be carried out in a straight jacket.
Mr. Biden is expected to name his Vice-Presidential running mate sometime in the next half hour in a hastily called looney bin press conference.
Ms. Milano said she doesn’t intend to press charges against Joe Biden “because he’s a man I admire and respect. Plus we both appear to be on the same wavelength mentally speaking. And he’s needed to defeat Donald Trump.”

. . .

Former weightlifter, movie actor and California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was doing another one of his livestream video podcasts to keep people entertained during the worldwide Covid-19 lockdown.

The former Terminator star was busy screaming his head off as the podcast began.

Schwarzenegger (in his thick Austrian accent): “You must excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. But my recently purchased pet goat Doctor Dolittle’s Revenge just stuck his goat horns up my buttocks. Something which I must confess I found an exceedingly painful experience.
So please don’t try this at home.
However as I drink this milk and munch on these cookies, I’m starting to feel much better now.
And now I must conclude my podcast. And remember, ladies and gentlemen. Stay home. Stay safe.”

Schwarzenegger starts screaming again when his pet goat Doctor Dolittle’s Revenge once again shoves his goat horns up the ex-Terminator’s buttocks.

. . .

The Irish Jewish science-fiction writer George Finneganburg had been watching the ex-Terminator’s podcast on his computer.

For the past few nights, the nuns from the convent in the movie The Sound of Music had been haunting his dreams constantly singing, “How do you solve a problem like Akira?…”

Akira was the name of his Japanese sex robot in his dystopian Sci-Fi story who had gone far beyond Westworld bad.

Seeing what a goat had just done to the ex-Terminator killer robot, perhaps he could find a way of working a goat into his story when Akira starts singing that old Joni Mitchell song, “I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now…”

. . .

Pope Francis was having a conversation with Phoenix Diabolicus the demon who was the Vicar of Lucifer on Earth.

“I must say my boss is pleased with the way you have allowed the governments of the world to prevent people from receiving the Sacraments particularly the Mass all over the planet,” Phoenix Diabolicus smiled, “This will increase the chances of more and more people becoming diabolically possessed if they don’t have access to the Sacraments. Someone like John Paul II or even Benedict XVI would have raised a major fuss if public celebration of the Mass had been forbidden particularly like what is happening in U.S. states governed by anti-Life and pro-sexual perversion Democratic Party governors.”

“I’m always happy to oblige the demons Baal and Baphomet,” Pope Francis viewed the latest ecumenical document his gay lavender mafia Jesuit ghost writer had written which he was about to put his own name of authorship to.

“Now the Boss wants to know what you intend to do about the Latin Tridentine Mass?” Phoenix Diabolicus sipped a Caesar’s cocktail, “He hates that Mass most of all.”

“Well I’ve recently instructed my bureaucrats to send out a survey to the bishops of the world asking them questions and their opinion of Summorum Pontificum which was Pope Benedict XVI’s July 2007 Apostolic Letter which said that priests could celebrate the Latin Mass without needing the permission of their usually obscurantist bishops,” Francis sipped a bottle of Corona beer whose label had been personally autographed by the Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama, “When we get the survey back, all those surveys where the diocesan bishops answered they disapproved of Summorum Pontificum will be forwarded to most of the world news media. Those surveys where the diocesan bishops answered they approve of Summorum Pontificum will be forwarded to most of the Vatican departments’ garbage bins.”

“I knew we could count on you, Jorge,” Phoenix Diabolicus lit himself a Cuban cigar.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 2nd
2020.

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Phoenix Diabolicus The Vicar of Lucifer

September 26, 2019 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Phoenix Diabolicus The Vicar of Lucifer

The figure of Phoenix Diabolicus (the demon who was the Vicar of Lucifer On Earth) emerged from his painting in the Vatican Art Collection.

Something that startled Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

The Cardinal had been told who was the subject of the painting but he had never expected the figure to come to life.

“Good evening, Cardinal Salaman,” said Phoenix Diabolicus.

The Cardinal was too shocked to say anything.

“I’m pleased with the way the world is going,” Phoenix Diabolicus stretched his long black wings which felt tired and sore after being kept cooped up in that painting for so long.

“Oh yes?” Cardinal Salaman was flicking through the pockets of his robes trying to find his Rosary (a gift to him from a Polish priest and an object he had never used before).

“Indeed,” Phoenix Diabolicus stroked his moustache, “A potential for civil war or Beijing military intervention emerging in the island of Hong Kong. Tensions running rampant in the United Kingdom over Brexit. The Democrats setting up an impeachment inquiry into Donald Trump only adding to the further polarization in that already polarized nation that is called the United States of America. And what’s really advantageous is there’s no Abraham Lincoln like figure in sight. So the divided house will fall. The State of Israel is in chaos. War looms between Saudi Arabia and Iran in the Middle East. And your own boss Pope Francis is paving the way for the worship of the spirits of the Amazon Rainforest next month totally oblivious to the fact that not all the spirits in the Amazon Rainforest are good. Or at least not good in the sense that Our Enemy On The Cross defines it.”

The figure of Phoenix Diabolicus stepped back in the painting.

And Samhain Cardinal Salaman stood there.

Unable to move.

. . .

Private eyes Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie were trudging their way through the Amazon Rainforest.

They had recently been hired by Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of The United Nations Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change to discover who had been setting the fires in the Amazon Rainforest this past summer.

Now they were in a dense little travelled section of the Amazon Rainforest.

“I hope our native guide knows his way back,” Agathor remarked.

“I hope our native guide isn’t a cannibal planning to eat us,” Magog stated as he wiped his sweating forehead with his handkerchief.

“That statement ranks of cultural imperialism,” Agathor the former British Conservative MP teased his Marxist friend the former Labour MP Magog.

“Being out here does that to a person,” Magog continued to wipe his brow.

Their guide bowed down to a tree.

“Must be a sacred tree,” Agathor remarked.

Magog pointed to a small carved figure standing at the base of the tree and asked, “What’s that?”.

“Father and Mother of All Life,” the native said in English as he bowed.

“Justin Trudeau would be pleased with this native’s feminist and transgendered sensibilities,” Magog remarked.

“Doesn’t that wooden idol look familiar?” Agathor asked.

Magog took a closer look and commented, “It looks like the Baphomet that supernatural entity worshipped by those Satanic Temple groups in the U.S. and Canada.”

“That’s because it is the Baphomet figure,” Agathor said as he put on his monocle and looked at it.

“Baphomet is worshipped by some of the natives here in the Amazon?” Magog was genuinely surprised.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 26th
2019.

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