Michelangelo Names The Winners of The 2018 U.S. Midterms

November 5, 2018 at 11:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, love, News, Politics, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

“It was 50 years ago today that Richard M. Nixon was elected President of the United States,” Amadeus Emanon read aloud from the This Day In History column.

“One thing I always liked about Nixon,” Renfield remarked as he fed his goldfish called Checkers that a voter had given him, “is his insightful analysis in his statement, “That whole Bohemian Grove thing is the faggiest god damned thing you can imagine. I never shake hands with anybody who comes from San Francisco anymore.” And as a result of Nixon’s advice, I’ve never ever shaken hands with anybody who comes from San Francisco.”

“Well, that would certainly prevent you from picking up any Nancy Pelosi girl fleas,” Amadeus noted.

“Or dog fleas either,” Renfield rubbed the fur of the Set household’s pet cat Nefertiti Galore.

“Wasn’t the Bohemian Grove the place where Henry Kissinger went running around nude in the woods?” Amadeus asked.

“Yes and a bunch of California redwood trees have been treated for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder ever since,” Renfield remarked as he received a nude photo text message from Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh that had just the opposite effect that Kissinger had on the trees.

As both the goldfish Checkers and the cat Nefertiti Galore went into their respective states of shock upon seeing Renfield’s bulging erection, Amadeus remarked, “I see the psychic lobster Michelangelo has named the winners of tomorrow’s U.S. midterm elections.”

Amadeus had just received a text message from Dr. Cadbury Rocher down at the Set Enterprises lab.

“And who will the winners be?” asked Renfield who being genetically created in a lab had no mother to warn him about what physical activities might cause blindness.

Amadeus putting on a pair of welder’s dark glasses replied, “It was rather strange. Michelangelo in rather vague Delphi oracle like terms said “Both Donald Trump and Bernie Sanders will come out the winners.”

“Maybe what that means,” Renfield ejaculated both wisdom and a more physical substance, “is that the Republicans will maintain control of the House or the Senate or both while of those Democrats who are elected, a great many of them will support Bernie Sanders for the Democratic Presidential Nomination in 2020.”

“You might have something there,” Amadeus admitted.

“What I need right now,” Renfield stumbled around, “is the phone number for the nearest optometrist. I feel the need to book an appointment.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday November 5th
2018.


The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in a poster warning about the hazards of snow blindness.

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