Ghosts Galore

July 26, 2013 at 7:32 pm (The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The entertainer in the pub sang, “I’m Henry VIII I am, I am, I just got married to the widow next door, she’s been married 7 times before and everyone was a Henry – Henr-ee  so that makes me Henry the Eighth I am…”

Outside the pub waiting for him was the ghost of Henry VIII and the ghost of his executioner.

“I didn’t find your song very humourous,” Henry harrumphed, “off with his head.”

The executioner swung his ghostly axe and the axe passed harmlessly through the entertainer’s head.

“I see you don’t know how to manifest spiritual objects into a material reality,”  Pan Goatee laughed as he astral projected by on his way to a replication of the Bohemian Grove ceremony on the banks of the Thames.

“Me?  I thought it was you who was going to bring the statue of the giant owl,”  former British Prime Minister Tony Blair said  in exasperation to the current Archbishop of Canterbury.

                     .         .        .

The ghost of Josef Stalin stood in shock on Brazil’s Copacabana Beach at the massive crowd of young people cheering Pope Francis.

A booming voice seemed to echo out of the heavens,  “Well Joe you stupid ass,  I didn’t think I’d ever see you again after you kicked the bucket.  Well now you know how many soldiers the Pope has.”

Stalin’s ghost looked up and saw a huge cloud in the shape of Sir Winston Churchill’s head smoking a giant cigar.

                        .          .          .

Adolf Hitler’s ghost sat in Rush Limbaugh’s huge dressing room and waited for the enormously stout talk show host to return.

The Fuhrer’s spirit tried to help himself to a piece of chicken from one of the 6 dozen buckets of KFC that sat on the dressing room table awaiting Mr. Limbaugh’s return.

But since he didn’t know how to project material objects into a spiritual reality, he couldn’t.

When Rush returned, the Fuhrer greeted him enthusiastically.

Speaking in a thick German accent and spraying his own moustache with his enthusiasm, the Fuhrer said, “I really love your show and agree with everything you say.  The non-whites in this country are getting far too uppity in my opinion.”

                 .         .         .

The Greek vampire Hades used the remote to turn off his satellite TV and then spoke to one of his aides, “You know the reception is so bad underground.  We really should think about switching over to Cable.”

“I’ll look into it, sir,”  his aide replied.

“But still despite the blurry picture, it still gives me some idea of the chaos that exists above,” Hades helped himself to some pomegranate seeds, “we must see what we can do about getting Cerberus back to his guard dog position again so we can stop all these damned spirits from crossing back over the River Styx to the world above.”

“I’ll see what I can do, sir,” his aide remarked.

“It’s all so frustrating,”   Hades hit his forehead, “where’s Persephone when you really need her?  All this masturbation starts to get on one’s nerves after a while.”

“You’re forgetting that it’s summer on Mount Olympus, sir,” his aide reminded him.

“Why doesn’t anyone remember to turn over the page on this damned calendar?” Hades snapped as he turned over the calendar several pages.

                 .           .            .

On one side of the River Styx,  Chris de Burgh sang, “Don’t pay the ferryman until he gets you to the other side…”

On Mount Olympus, Vincent Price spoke as he watched Michael Jackson dance on the moon,  

“Darkness falls across the land,
The midnight hour is close at hand…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Friday July 26th 2013

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Lilith’s Blair Witch Project

March 10, 2011 at 9:19 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , )

Peter Whitstable was to Interpol what Fox Mulder had been to the FBI in the fictional TV series The X-Files.

He was Interpol’s resident authority on and investigator of all phenomena supernatural and occultic.

Like Mulder, Whitstable was considered a flake and a nut case by his colleagues.

Today Whitstable was examining several photos taken at the Civil Forum on Peace In A Globalized Economy held at Pastor Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California this past Sunday March 6th at which Rev. Warren interviewed former British Prime Minister Tony Blair.

What intrigued him about the photos was a beautiful woman sitting in the front row of the audience at the Forum.

Whitstable recognized her right away.

She was the ancient Mesopotamian vampiress Lilith the first vampiress ever in human history.

The woman who had started the long chain of vampires and vampiresses throughout history.

How Lilith herself became a vampiress no authority on the vampiric was quite sure.

But all agreed she was the world’s first vampiric immortal.

And one still alive.

Unlike the world’s most famous vampiric immortal Dracula who had been slain by a Van Helsing back in the 19th Century and thus was immortal no longer.

What was Lilith doing attending a Civil Forum on Peace In A Globalized Economy at which Rev. Rick Warren and Tony Blair were present?

To be continued.

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