Something Transhuman This Way Comes

April 8, 2015 at 6:26 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Something Transhuman This Way Comes

Amadeus Emanon was watching an adaptation of Agatha Christie’s The Third Girl on BBC Television.

Hercule Poirot was standing on an estate balcony watching a man and a woman on the lawn kissing under the moonlight.

Said Poirot to the woman standing next to him on the balcony, “We are looking, Madame, at a mystery. The greatest mystery. The mystery that even I, Hercule Poirot, will never be able to solve. The mystery that is… the nature of Love.”

“Love is a mystery?” Renfield looked up from the book of essays he was reading written by Ray Kurzweil, J. Craig Venter and other leading Transhumanist thinkers.

“Hercule Poirot says it is,” Amadeus ate his Belgian waffles with strawberry syrup.

“It can be awfully expensive, I know,” Renfield sipped his 12-year-old single malt whisky, “especially on Valentine’s Day. Having to buy your date all those flowers and chocolates and then she won’t let you get into her panties anyways… stupid bitch.”

Renfield’s last Valentine’s Day had been an even bigger fiasco than Bugsy Malone’s 1929 Valentine’s Day at the hands of Al Capone.

“You wanted to get into her panties?” Amadeus ate his chocolate covered Easter bunny, “I didn’t know you had all these Bruce Jenner like urges.”

“That’s not what I meant by that metaphor, you idiot,” Renfield spilled malt whisky all over himself in his rage.

Amadeus switched to another channel on the TV.

A film historian was giving a commentary on the 1933 American horror film The Vampire Bat that starred Lionell Atwill and Fay Wray.

Said the film historian, “Any resemblance between statements made by mad scientists in the Hollywood horror films of the 1930s and ’40s and today’s Transhumanist scientists is purely coincidental.”

Renfield harrumphed as he used a copy of the 2013 Transhumanist Manifesto (that he had written) to dry himself off.

Amadeus switched to another channel where a theologian was being interviewed.

Said the theologian, “Any resemblance between the promises made by the serpent to Eve in the Garden of Eden (“Ye shall be as gods” and “Ye shall not die”) and the promises made by Transhumanist thinkers today (“We shall be like gods” and “we shall not die”) is purely coincidental …”

“What a day I’m having,” Renfield cried as a house fly got stuck to his whisky soaked copy of his Transhumanist Manifesto.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 8th
2015.

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Don Juan Rising: Man and Transhuman

April 7, 2015 at 6:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Mystery/horror, Satire, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Don Juan Rising: Man and Transhuman

Renfield R. Renfield the genetically created hamster/human Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was practicing a political speech in front of the living room’s antique Louis XIV Sun King mirror much to his friend Amadeus Emanon’s amusement.

A couple of years earlier, Renfield had founded the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party.

Unfortunately Renfield had not come up with the required number of signatures for his party to be recognized as a registered political party in Britain so he was unable to take part in recent leaders’ election debates or in future leaders’ election debates.

Thus not being a registered party, his candidates had to run as independent candidates in the UK’s various constituencies.

Although there were not that many members of his Party running as candidates anyways.

There were only 10 other candidates running as independents on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti-Bio Conservative Party platform throughout the United Kingdom’s 650 constituencies.

Of these, 9 were thirty something in age long-haired and bearded science-fiction fans who were still living in their parents’ basements.

The 10th was the Welsh Vampiress Morgana (a niece of the sorceress Morgan Le Fay) who was running as an independent on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform against well-known far far Left backbench British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (who unbeknownst to his constituents and the public at large was a werewolf) in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge.

Renfield himself was running as an Independent on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform in the constituency of London Collingwood Hills where his boss the Vampire Set’s colossal mansion was located.

The constituency had been a British Conservative Party stronghold for the past 70 years.

At an all-candidates’ forum in the Constituency last week, Renfield extolled the virtues of living in a society where everybody had upgraded to the new Humanity 2.0 and had become Transhuman.

“It’s the next step in our human evolution,” Renfield waved a copy of The Origin of Species, “Charles Darwin, if he weren’t dead, would have been so proud.”

Renfield said that recent developments in the fields of genetics, robotics, artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and synthetic biology would allow everyone to become Transhuman.

“Think of where technology has taken us these past 100 years,” Renfield enthused, “why 100 years ago only people who lived in your own neighbourhood or own town or city might have known that you’re an idiot. But today thanks to advanced technology and social networking sites such as Twitter, YouTube and Facebook, you now have the chance to show the entire world what an idiot you are.”

The remark did not go over too well for some reason.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 7th
2015.

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