Renfield: Taking Care of Business In Every Way

November 23, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had received a phone call from Dr. Cadbury Rocher at Set Enterprises.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster had picked up a TV news broadcast from the future on his lobster antennae and Michelangelo had typed with his lobster claws on the keyboard of his waterproof laptop that the vision was meant for Renfield’s eyes only.

So Renfield caught a trolley bus that drove quite close to the Set Enterprises laboratory and rug emporium (The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set had recently gone into business with the Persian goddess Anahita and sold Persian rugs together- putting Set on Donald Trump’s business black list).

The trolley bus headed down a single lane one way street that was meant for trolley buses only.

There was a vehicle trap at the front of the street that trapped any vehicle other than trolley buses from going down that street.

However there were plenty of flashing red lights and traffic signs that warned other vehicles of the vehicle trap ahead.

However there was always the occasional idiot who totally ignored all the flashing lights and traffic signs and wound up with their vehicle caught in the trap preventing the bus from getting through.

This was one of those days.

“I can’t believe that bitch did that!” The bus driver shouted.

Other people on the bus now complained about being late for important appointments thanks to the inherent stupidity of the said bitch.

Renfield seethed as he got off the bus.

There was only one thing to do about such stupid people.

And that was to eliminate them from the face of the earth.

The airheaded bitch was on her mobile calling for a tow truck to pull her vehicle out of the trap.

It was rather unfortunate for the said airhead that she wasn’t very good looking.

Otherwise Renfield might have shown some pity.

As it was, Renfield reached into his raincoat pocket, pulled out his gun and fired 7 bullets point blank at her.

The woman immediately fell to the ground quite dead as the operator on the other end of the line asked her for her Auto Club Membership #.

But the woman had expired before her membership did.

Renfield being a member of MI-5, MI-6, British Home Office and Her Majesty’s Secret Service had a licence to kill like James Bond 007 (in fact his secret agent code number was 0069).

Renfield received a standing ovation and thunderous applause from the other passengers on the bus for his actions.

Renfield looked at his watch and decided he’d better walk from here to Set Enterprises.

As Renfield walked down the street, he sang his own paraphrased version of an early 1980s Air Supply Song,

There’s one less stupid person in the world
And it’s gonna be fine
Out of all the stupid people in the world
You’re now dead and gone
In my life where everything was wrong
Something finally went right
Now there’s one less stupid person in the world tonight…

“It’s too bad Donald Trump hadn’t been the one to have driven that vehicle into the trap,” the trolley bus driver remarked.

“Too bad indeed,” British Prime Minister Theresa May agreed.

Mrs. May vowed never to take public transit again.

She was now going to be at least half an hour late for an important meeting to save her Brexit deal.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 23rd
2018.

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