Amadeus Reads Renfieldian Tweets For November 9th To November 11th 2020

November 15, 2020 at 11:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon continued to read the tweets sent out by his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

He started back on November 9th where he had last finished off.

There was a news item that Archbishop Jose Gomez had sent out a U.S. Catholic Bishops’ statement congratulating Joe Biden on his election win after the AP Associated Press had proclaimed Joe Biden the President-elect on Saturday November 7th and other mainstream Marxist media news outlets had quickly followed suit.

Renfield had tweeted,

Archbishop Jose Gomez of Los Angeles the President of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops is the biggest American ecclesiastical useful idiot for the cause of Great Reset global Marxist-Leninism.

On November 10th, Renfield had tweeted,

Crooked so-called President-elect and Xi Jinping stooge puppet Joe Biden calls Trump an “embarrassment’ for not conceding defeat.
The real embarrassment, Joe, would have been if the American people had actually elected a senile old fool such as yourself President.

Renfield then retweeted Trump’s November 10th tweet about Ballot counting abuse happening in several states.

Twitter had attached a Neo-Maoist censorship warning at the end of Trump’s tweet: ! This claim about election fraud is disputed.

Renfield added his own editorial tweet on the Trump tweet and the Twitter warning,

The Neo-Maoist social media tech giant Twitter (anxious to bring a global Communist dictatorship to a planet near you) blatheringly says it disputes Trump’s claims of ballot abuse.

Dr. Taylor Marshall had tweeted Donald Trump declared winner of North Carolina.

Renfield had retweeted the Marshall tweet with his own editorial tweet,

The mainstream Marxist media (AP, CNN, USA Today, Washington Post, New York Times etc.) and the Neo-Maoist social media tech giants crap their pants on hearing the news.

Renfield then issued a couple of tweets giving his opinion of Pope Francis’ encyclical Fratelli Tutti.

The first tweet read,

Pope Francis’ encyclical Fratelli Tutti (aka Tutti Fruity the lousy version) is a piece of Marxist sodomite drivel calling for the establishment of a Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Maoist Neo-Marxist-Leninist One World Government New World Order.

The second tweet read,

Pope Francis’ encyclical Fratelli Tutti that Marxist sodomite drivel call for a Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Maoist Neo-Marxist-Leninist New World Order One World Government is what George Soros in a state of masturbatory orgasm calls the Great Reset (as he swallows his Viagra en masse).

Then Renfield made a historical minded tweet on U.S. politics tying it in with contemporary times,

The U.S. has always had a history of dead people voting, ballot stuffing and voter suppression.
It has just never been done on such a massive scale before.
Congratulations to the Biden-Harris Democrats for being the first.

Senility prone Joe Biden had then issued a tweet on November 10th saying,

“When I’m speaking to foreign leaders, I’m telling them: America is going to be back. We’re going to be back in the game.”

Renfield then retweeted Biden’s tweet and added his own editorial tweet,

Senility prone Joe Biden (possessed by the spirit of the demon Mephistopheles so he can actually make coherent sense when he talks) says that America is back in the Great Reset global Marxist-Leninist New World Order game.

Amadeus then began reading Renfield’s November 11th tweets.

1st tweet of November 11th:

Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis is the ultimate answer to the heresy of Ultramontanism.

The heresy of Ultramontanism is the heresy that the words of the Pope are to regarded above the words of Sacred Scripture, Sacred Tradition, the Writings of the Church Fathers and the Deposit of Faith.

2nd tweet of November 11th:

As Trump wins North Carolina, it has been discovered that over 10,000 dead people have apparently cast ballots in the state of Michigan (all of them for Joe Biden interestingly enough).
Zombies love Joe! 😀


A group of dead sailors released from Davy Jones’ locker in Hades at the request of Pope Francis on All Souls Day November 2nd ask a sea nymph for directions to Lake Michigan so they can go vote for Joe Biden.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Sunday November 15th
2020.

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Peter Whitstable On The Temple Mount

March 23, 2014 at 7:21 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Peter Whitstable On The Temple Mount

Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol stood on the Temple Mount.

He was looking for signs of a panther that had been seen on the Temple Mount.

Peter Whitstable believed the panther was Konalu a creature that was created by being astral projected from the mind of Fenrir the Battle of Ragnarok apocalyptic wolf from Norse mythology.

He decided it would be a good thing to get out of the office at Interpol’s International Headquarters in Lyon, France because it looked like it would only be a matter of time before his co-workers called the men in the white suits bearing straight jackets and emerging from their paddy wagons.

While in Israel, he had asked to see the man at Mossad they called the Controller of the Golem.

His request for an appointment was turned down.

As he stood on the Temple Mount, he recognized the demon Asmodeus standing on the same mount yawning and smoking a large extra-King sized cigarette.

Peter Whitstable sometimes wished that he had taken up drinking or sniffing glue.

Then he’d have an excuse for seeing what he sometimes saw.

This was one of those moments.

. . .

Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan was in his bedroom.

He looked up and noticed a black panther approaching him.

Unsure of what to do, Erdogan held out his hand and started purring, “Nice kitty. Nice kitty.”

He hoped that the panther wasn’t Syrian and wasn’t a pro-Bashar Assad sympathizer seeing as how Turkey had just shot down a Syrian military plane.

He hoped that the panther wasn’t an avid Twitter user either- one who was pissed at not being able to access his Twitter account in Turkey.

. . .

Russian President Vladimir Putin told the Commander of Russian Forces who were amassing on the border with Ukraine to wait for his instructions on whether or not to go ahead and invade all Ukraine.

He would leave the speaker phone on in his office and if he were to start shouting “Yes! Yes! Yes!” that would be his order to cross the border and take all of Ukraine and unite it to the Russian Motherland.

As he stood at the window and gazed out at the Moscow landscape with its domed churches and crosses, he wondered if he could spot the Golden Arches of the nearest McDonald’s as he suddenly felt a craving for a Big Mac (which mercifully had escaped the list of U.S. and EU sanctions against Moscow).

Suddenly the beautiful and lovely seductress the Babylonian Vampiress Lilith flew in through his office window.

She was wearing the latest spring fashion Cartier white evening dress with gold sequins.

She threw Putin back on to the Russian black bear skin rug in his office, ripped off all his clothes and mounted him.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Putin was soon screaming in a matter of minutes.

The General put his phone down.

He addressed his aide- a handsome young lieutenant with whom he re-enacted ancient Spartan army nighttime maneuvers.

“Well there we have the order,” the General said, “we take all of Ukraine.”

“That’s good,” his lieutenant answered, “I’ve kind of got a hankering for Kiev style homemade perogies at the moment.”

“But first you must have a Russian sausage,” the General pulled down his pants.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 23rd
2014.

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Haikus About Miss America 2014

September 17, 2013 at 7:03 pm (Commentary, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , )

Miss America 2014 

Miss Nina Davuluri 

full of grace and class

 

 

 

Twitter’s raging dolts

ignore Abe Lincoln’s advice

no doubt they are fools

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Haiku That Rhymes On Social Networking Then And Now

September 12, 2013 at 3:31 pm (Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Yon in days of yore

love sonnets made hearts flitter

now Facebook, Twitter

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Ghost of Josef Stalin On Social Networking Sites

August 24, 2011 at 8:09 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Michelangelo the genetically engineered Psychic Lobster was again feeling bored in his solo lobster tank in the Set Laboratories Lab outside London.

He decided he’d once again kill time through his genetically engineered ability to enter people’s dreams.

First he’d see if Renfield was asleep and dreaming.

He entered the mind of Renfield who was currently asleep and dreaming in a motel room in the U.S. state of Virginia.

Renfield was dreaming that he was in the drive-through lane at a McDonald’s restaurant.

Speaking into the drive-through intercom, Renfield said, “Lapar amai pour sex.”

He was showing off his skills at being able to speak 3 languages- Iban, French and English simultaneously.

Michelangelo shook his lobster head (and thus his antennae as well).

Renfield would always be Renfield.

Michelangelo decided he would then enter the dreams of Piers Morgan the host of CNN”s news talk show Piers Morgan Tonight.

Piers Morgan was dreaming that he was talking to the ghost of late Soviet dictator Josef Stalin on his show.

Complained Stalin’s ghost, “You know as I look around at the world today, I’ve always regretted the fact that both myself and my state the U.S.S.R. kicked the bucket before the advent of Internet social networking sites.
I mean one of the drawbacks of being in control of a police state in my day was that you had to spend so much money on having a vast secret police service to spy and find out what your people were saying, doing and thinking.
These days thanks to sites like Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr, people automatically post for the entire world to see what they’re saying, doing and thinking.
It would have made running a totalitarian state so much easier had these sites been around when I was busy dictating.”

To be continued.

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The Twitter Flasher of New York City

June 6, 2011 at 7:12 pm (Commentary, Satire) (, , , , , , , , , , )

After I saw Rep. Anthony Weiner’s pitiful announcement and press conference on CNN today, the thought came to me to write a satirical song about the whole sordid mess.

And the lyrics that were entering my mind as I watched this press conference were to the tune of an old World War II song The D-Day Dodgers.

During World War II, a story surfaced that British Member of Parliament Lady Astor said that the British troops who were fighting in the Invasion of Italy were enjoying a paid holiday and not making the same heroic sacrifices that the Allied soldiers were making on the beaches of Normandy during D-Day and afterwards.

In fact the Allied invasion of Italy was a very bloody campaign and some British soldier took it upon himself to write a reply to Lady Astor in song- a song that became known to history as The D-Day Dodgers.

The tune of the D-Day Dodgers itself came from an earlier World War I song Lily Marlene that was sung in the trenches of that great and terrible war.

Here are the lyrics to The D-Day Dodgers:

We’re the D-Day Dodgers, way off in Italy
Always on the vino, always on the spree,
Eighth Army scoungers and their tanks,
We live in Rome, among the Yanks,
We are the D-Day Dodgers, way out in Italy
We are the D-Day Dodgers, way out in Italy;
We landed in Salerno, a holiday with pay,
the Jerries brought the bands out to greet us on the way.
Showed us the sights and gave us tea,
We all sang songs, the beer was free
To welcome D-Day Dodgers to sunny Italy.

Naples and Casino were taken in our stride,
We didn’t want to fight there, we went just for the ride.
Anzio and Sangro were just names,
We only went to look for dames
The artful D-Day Dodgers, way out in Italy.

Dear Lady Astor, you think you’re mighty hot
Standing on the platform talking tommyrot.
You’re England’s sweetheart and her pride
We think your mouth’s too bleeding wide.
We are the D-Day Dodgers in sunny Italy,
Look around the mountains, in the mud and rain,
you’ll find the scattered crosses, some that have no name.
They are the D-Day Dodgers who stay in Italy.

Here’s a video of the song The D-Day Dodgers so you get an idea of the tune:

Here’s my satirical song The Twitter Flasher of New York City set to the tune of the song The D-Day Dodgers:

I’m the Twitter Flasher of dear New York Cit-ee
always with my weenie when I’m on my PC,
social media scounger with my many pranks
I schmooze in DC- capital of the Yanks
I’m the Twitter Flasher from New York Cit-ee
I’m the Twitter Flasher letting it hang out in DC.
I sent a message on Twitter- a jolly site today
I pulled my Jerry down to greet her this special way.
Showed her the sights before I had to pee
I didn’t realize I’d sent it for everyone to see
so I claimed a hacker hacked in from some unknown point B.

Facebook and Twitter I just took in my stride
all I wanted was to give my jolly a jolly good ride
Miss X and Lady Y were just simply names
I only went FB’ing just to look for dames.
I’m the artful Flasher in NY and DC.

Dear Andrew Breitbart, you think you’re mighty hot
Standing in the blogosphere talking tommy rot
but when it comes to shortcomings, you’ve shown
the world nothing to what I’ve got.
I’m the Twitter Flasher of New York Cit-ee
Look around the cyberlandscape amid the sleeze and the pain
you’ll find the scattered hearts, some that have no name
cause I’m the Twitter Flasher of New York Cit-ee.

-A satirical song written by Christopher Van Helsing
Monday evening June 6th 2011
to be sung to the tune of The D-Day Dodgers.

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