Napoleon Returns To Earth On His Coronation’s 217th Anniversary
Napoleon Bonaparte the Emperor Napoleon I had returned to Earth up from the Underworld on this December 2nd 2021 which was the 217th Anniversary of his Coronation.
Napoleon and his wife Josephine had been crowned Emperor and Empress of France at Paris’ Notre Dame Cathedral back on December 2nd 1804.
Napoleon vomited ectoplasm all over the place when he walked by a television screen that showed the architects’ plans for a Disney like theme park in the rebuilt Notre Dame Cathedral.
“This Emmanuel Macron should be removed from power for allowing such an abomination of desolation and incredibly bad taste to take place,” Napoleon’s ghost thought to himself.
This was a different opinion than Pope Francis had expressed to one of his aides when he remarked that “I always thought Mickey Mouse’s portrayal of the sorcerer (or was it his apprentice?) in the 1940 film Fantasia was the perfect animated film portrayal of my own personal God of Surprises. Therefore a Disney themed park Notre Dame in Paris is a perfect architectural display of my brilliantly written motu proprio issued Apostolic Letter Traditionis custodes.”
A Swiss cuckoo who escaped from a Swiss cuckoo clock crapped all over Jose Mario Bergoglio after he made the pronouncement.
As for Napoleon, he continued walking around London which was to be the beginning of his earthly mission.
He wasn’t quite sure what this mission was.
Nor was he sure of what caused his dispensational release from Purgatory.
He was just relieved that the three-headed dog Cerberus hadn’t bitten him when he left the Underworld.
. . .
The Set News Network was showing an old movie clip of Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler giving a fiery speech at a Nuremberg rally.
For audio, the voice was not that of Hitler screaming but of Twitter’s new CEO Parag Agrawal screaming,
“The company’s rule going forward is not to be bound by the First Amendment. It is to focus less on thinking about free speech, but thinking about how the times have changed. Most people can speak. Well our rule is particularly to be emphasized who can be heard.”
A group of Twitter tweeting birds entered the Nuremberg stadium shouting in unison with their right legs extended, “Sieg heils. Sieg heils.”
. . .
Napoleon’s ghost walked by a pub which had a radio on.
This was the top of the hour news:
“A court has ordered the FDA to release its documents on the Pfizer vaccine. The first batch of documents shows that there were over 1,200 vaccine deaths within the first 90 days…”
“British MP Renfield R. Renfield has taken over that radio station,” UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson pulled his messy uncombed unkempt hair as he walked by, “That radio station is now reporting the facts. We can’t have that. This isn’t an episode of the old radio program Dragnet with Jack Webb with its emphasis on “Just the facts, ma’am. Just the facts.” This is supposed to be news. Not facts. Not truth.”
Johnson was kicked in the butt by a small teddy bear who was dressed in the army uniform of an early 19th Century French general.
“Where did that bear come from?” Napoleon’s ghost wondered.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 2nd
2021.
This French countess isn’t planning to attend anyone’s coronation in this new Abomination of Desolation revamped Disney themed Notre Dame Cathedral.
Amadeus Reads Renfieldian Tweets For November 9th To November 11th 2020
Amadeus Emanon continued to read the tweets sent out by his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.
He started back on November 9th where he had last finished off.
There was a news item that Archbishop Jose Gomez had sent out a U.S. Catholic Bishops’ statement congratulating Joe Biden on his election win after the AP Associated Press had proclaimed Joe Biden the President-elect on Saturday November 7th and other mainstream Marxist media news outlets had quickly followed suit.
Renfield had tweeted,
Archbishop Jose Gomez of Los Angeles the President of the USeless Conference of Catholic Bishops is the biggest American ecclesiastical useful idiot for the cause of Great Reset global Marxist-Leninism.
On November 10th, Renfield had tweeted,
Crooked so-called President-elect and Xi Jinping stooge puppet Joe Biden calls Trump an “embarrassment’ for not conceding defeat.
The real embarrassment, Joe, would have been if the American people had actually elected a senile old fool such as yourself President.
Renfield then retweeted Trump’s November 10th tweet about Ballot counting abuse happening in several states.
Twitter had attached a Neo-Maoist censorship warning at the end of Trump’s tweet: ! This claim about election fraud is disputed.
Renfield added his own editorial tweet on the Trump tweet and the Twitter warning,
The Neo-Maoist social media tech giant Twitter (anxious to bring a global Communist dictatorship to a planet near you) blatheringly says it disputes Trump’s claims of ballot abuse.
Dr. Taylor Marshall had tweeted Donald Trump declared winner of North Carolina.
Renfield had retweeted the Marshall tweet with his own editorial tweet,
The mainstream Marxist media (AP, CNN, USA Today, Washington Post, New York Times etc.) and the Neo-Maoist social media tech giants crap their pants on hearing the news.
Renfield then issued a couple of tweets giving his opinion of Pope Francis’ encyclical Fratelli Tutti.
The first tweet read,
Pope Francis’ encyclical Fratelli Tutti (aka Tutti Fruity the lousy version) is a piece of Marxist sodomite drivel calling for the establishment of a Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Maoist Neo-Marxist-Leninist One World Government New World Order.
The second tweet read,
Pope Francis’ encyclical Fratelli Tutti that Marxist sodomite drivel call for a Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Maoist Neo-Marxist-Leninist New World Order One World Government is what George Soros in a state of masturbatory orgasm calls the Great Reset (as he swallows his Viagra en masse).
Then Renfield made a historical minded tweet on U.S. politics tying it in with contemporary times,
The U.S. has always had a history of dead people voting, ballot stuffing and voter suppression.
It has just never been done on such a massive scale before.
Congratulations to the Biden-Harris Democrats for being the first.
Senility prone Joe Biden had then issued a tweet on November 10th saying,
“When I’m speaking to foreign leaders, I’m telling them: America is going to be back. We’re going to be back in the game.”
Renfield then retweeted Biden’s tweet and added his own editorial tweet,
Senility prone Joe Biden (possessed by the spirit of the demon Mephistopheles so he can actually make coherent sense when he talks) says that America is back in the Great Reset global Marxist-Leninist New World Order game.
Amadeus then began reading Renfield’s November 11th tweets.
1st tweet of November 11th:
Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis is the ultimate answer to the heresy of Ultramontanism.
The heresy of Ultramontanism is the heresy that the words of the Pope are to regarded above the words of Sacred Scripture, Sacred Tradition, the Writings of the Church Fathers and the Deposit of Faith.
2nd tweet of November 11th:
As Trump wins North Carolina, it has been discovered that over 10,000 dead people have apparently cast ballots in the state of Michigan (all of them for Joe Biden interestingly enough).
Zombies love Joe! 😀
A group of dead sailors released from Davy Jones’ locker in Hades at the request of Pope Francis on All Souls Day November 2nd ask a sea nymph for directions to Lake Michigan so they can go vote for Joe Biden.
-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Sunday November 15th
2020.
Peter Whitstable On The Temple Mount
Peter Whitstable On The Temple Mount
Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol stood on the Temple Mount.
He was looking for signs of a panther that had been seen on the Temple Mount.
Peter Whitstable believed the panther was Konalu a creature that was created by being astral projected from the mind of Fenrir the Battle of Ragnarok apocalyptic wolf from Norse mythology.
He decided it would be a good thing to get out of the office at Interpol’s International Headquarters in Lyon, France because it looked like it would only be a matter of time before his co-workers called the men in the white suits bearing straight jackets and emerging from their paddy wagons.
While in Israel, he had asked to see the man at Mossad they called the Controller of the Golem.
His request for an appointment was turned down.
As he stood on the Temple Mount, he recognized the demon Asmodeus standing on the same mount yawning and smoking a large extra-King sized cigarette.
Peter Whitstable sometimes wished that he had taken up drinking or sniffing glue.
Then he’d have an excuse for seeing what he sometimes saw.
This was one of those moments.
. . .
Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan was in his bedroom.
He looked up and noticed a black panther approaching him.
Unsure of what to do, Erdogan held out his hand and started purring, “Nice kitty. Nice kitty.”
He hoped that the panther wasn’t Syrian and wasn’t a pro-Bashar Assad sympathizer seeing as how Turkey had just shot down a Syrian military plane.
He hoped that the panther wasn’t an avid Twitter user either- one who was pissed at not being able to access his Twitter account in Turkey.
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin told the Commander of Russian Forces who were amassing on the border with Ukraine to wait for his instructions on whether or not to go ahead and invade all Ukraine.
He would leave the speaker phone on in his office and if he were to start shouting “Yes! Yes! Yes!” that would be his order to cross the border and take all of Ukraine and unite it to the Russian Motherland.
As he stood at the window and gazed out at the Moscow landscape with its domed churches and crosses, he wondered if he could spot the Golden Arches of the nearest McDonald’s as he suddenly felt a craving for a Big Mac (which mercifully had escaped the list of U.S. and EU sanctions against Moscow).
Suddenly the beautiful and lovely seductress the Babylonian Vampiress Lilith flew in through his office window.
She was wearing the latest spring fashion Cartier white evening dress with gold sequins.
She threw Putin back on to the Russian black bear skin rug in his office, ripped off all his clothes and mounted him.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Putin was soon screaming in a matter of minutes.
The General put his phone down.
He addressed his aide- a handsome young lieutenant with whom he re-enacted ancient Spartan army nighttime maneuvers.
“Well there we have the order,” the General said, “we take all of Ukraine.”
“That’s good,” his lieutenant answered, “I’ve kind of got a hankering for Kiev style homemade perogies at the moment.”
“But first you must have a Russian sausage,” the General pulled down his pants.
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday March 23rd
2014.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Pan Goatee and The Twitter Serial Killing Body Part Scavenger Hunt
June 7, 2014 at 5:10 pm (Commentary, News, Vampire novel) (genetically created half-man half-goat satyr, hidden cash, hidden weed, HiddenBodyParts, HiddenBodyPartsDC, HiddenBodyPartsDC Twitter account, HiddenBodyPartsDC Twitter account scavenger hunt, HiddenBodyPartsDC Twitter scavenger hunt, HiddenCash Twitter, HiddenCash Twitter account scavenger hunts, HiddenCash Twitter accounts, HiddenCash Twitter scavenger hunts, HiddenWeed Twitter account, HiddenWeed Twitter account scavenger hunts, HiddenWeed Twitter scavenger hunts, HiddenWeedYVR, Pan Goatee, serial killer, social networking, Twitter, Twitter account, Twitter account scavenger hunts, Twitter accounts, Twitter scavenger hunts)
Pan Goatee and The Twitter Serial Killing Body Part Scavenger Hunt
Pan Goatee had returned to the U.S. after presiding over a privately commissioned killing spree in the Middle East.
Upon his return to Washington DC, he had heard on the news about scavenger hunts becoming all the rage on Twitter.
First someone in San Francisco had left hidden cash- $100 bills- in envelopes and then left clues to their whereabouts on their Twitter accounts.
The phenomenon then spread to Los Angeles, then Seattle and then Vancouver.
Then to cities all across North America.
Then some pothead in Vancouver started handing out free small grams of marijuana in envelopes and leaving Twitter clues to their whereabouts on their Twitter account HiddenWeedYVR.
So between HiddenCash Twitter account scavenger hunts and HiddenWeed Twitter account scavenger hunts, it was all the rage.
Pan Goatee thought that as a serial killer, he should start cutting up the bodies of his victims and leaving body parts at various locales in the DC area and leaving clues on a Twitter account.
So he started a Twitter account HiddenBodyPartsDC.
He had immense fun slashing up the body parts of his numerous victims.
He had a little more difficulty getting the body parts into envelopes.
To say nothing of the rash his tongue developed after licking all those envelopes shut.
He then hid the somewhat bulgy and bulky envelopes at various locales in the DC area.
He then posted clues on his HiddenBodyPartsDC Twitter account and watched the fun begin.
“…. and as this increasingly bizarre social networking phenomenon takes hold, a fight between two grandmothers broke outside the gates of the White House today as both raging grannies fought to claim possession of a human head stuffed in an extra large envelope and placed between two of the gates…”
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday June 7th
2014.
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