Reblog- Aztec Vampiress Qonzilqointec and The Roswell UFO Crash

July 8, 2018 at 10:18 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec in mourning for the victims of the Roswell crash

A vampire novel chapter I posted a year ago yesterday on the 70th Anniversary of the Roswell crash- a crash that UFO 🛸 enthusiasts believe was of an extraterrestrial 👽 spacecraft that contained the bodies of ET grays.

Dracul Van Helsing

Qonzilqointec On 70th Anniversary of Roswell UFO Crash

French UFO researcher Jacques Vallee was sipping cognac and reflecting on how it was 70 years ago today that a UFO flying saucer was said to have crashed on a ranch near the town of Roswell New Mexico.

Later the crashed vehicle was said to be just a downed weather balloon.

Although others had speculated that the crashed vehicle was a self-conscious self-aware Hoover vacuum cleaner that had a premonitory vision of the message implied in Richard Bach’s 1970s bestseller Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

Vallee didn’t know what to think about the incident.

ET better phone the nearest American Automobile Association Auto Club, was that what happened ? Vallee wondered.

His housekeeper entered the room to tell Vallee about two phone calls for him.

Mikhail Gorbachev was on Line 1 and Pope Francis was on Line 2.

. . .

Canadian Prime Minister…

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Justin Trudeau and Gali-Gula Discuss Bimbo Eruptions

April 6, 2017 at 6:22 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, Politics, Satire, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau gave a long exhale.

“I wonder what the fun is in smoking this if you don’t inhale,” Justin Trudeau was recalling a peculiar statement that then Presidential candidate Bill Clinton had made back in the 1992 U.S. Presidential election.

“Hello, Prime Minister,” an unclothed and completely nude ET gray greeted him.

“Good God, Gali-Gula,” Justin choked on his joint, “why is it that I only see you when I’m smoking marijuana?”.

“I have no idea, Prime Minister,” Gali-Gula shrugged, “how have you been doing?”.

“Well, these days some people claim that I’m prone to making bimbo eruptions,” Justin remarked angrily.

“What’s a bimbo eruption?” asked Gali-Gula.

“It’s making an outrageously stupid statement and one that comes out of nowhere,” Justin said.

“I don’t think I’m familiar with bimbo eruptions,” Gali-Gula went to the refrigerator and helped himself to a can of Molson Canadian beer which he had first tried on his dominatrix whipped rear end a year ago.

Justin noticed for the first time that the nude ET gray had no genitalia.

“Say,” Justin asked, “is it easier to pee without genitalia?”.

“That’s an awfully stupid question,” the ET gray answered as he opened up the can of Molson Canadian and was immediately sprayed with foam.

“Sorry, I apologize,” the volcanically active bimbo eruptive Prime Minister apologized.

“I didn’t know you were prone to bimbo eruptions,” Gali-Gula drank the beer.

“Neither was I. I thought it was only something that blonde females were prone to,” said the self-proclaimed feminist Mr. Trudeau.

There was a knock at the door which immediately opened.

Gali-Gula dropped the beer and vanished.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you while you were having a one-man party, Prime Minister,” the aide noticed the spilled can of beer on the floor and the joint of pot in Trudeau’s hand, “but President Trump is on Line 1.”

Justin walked over to the phone and picked it up, “Hello, Mr. President?”.

Trump replied, “Hello Justin. Great talking to you. In lieu of what just happened in Syria, I wanted to ask you, what do you know about the after effects of using chemicals?”.

Justin Trudeau looked out the window with pot in hand and noticed a UFO spaceship flying away.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 5th
2017.

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Justin Trudeau Meets Gali-Gula

August 18, 2016 at 12:49 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Humour, Politics, Satire, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau had promised to legalize marijuana if he was elected. And last year he was elected. So Justin figured he better legalize marijuana.

He decided there was nothing like taking a personal approach to an issue. So today on the 39th Anniversary of Elvis’ death, he decided to try smoking marijuana until smoke was coming out of his ears.

As his aide opened the door, the smoke was indeed coming out of the Prime Minister’s ears.

“Prime Minister, what are you doing?” his aide asked.

“I’m doing a one-man personal investigation into studying the effects of marijuana,” Justin replied.

“But Prime Minister, you have a major speech to deliver within an hour,” his aide pointed out.

“I already wrote it,” Justin handed him his speech.

20 minutes later, his aide contacted the organization Justin was to address and told them that the Prime Minister had come down with a rare summer cold and wouldn’t be available to speak tonight.

. . .

As Justin Trudeau slept off the aftereffects of his one-man personal investigation of the after-effects of smoking marijuana, he woke up and saw a pair of glowing red ET gray buns in his face.

“Holy smoking hot buns, Batman,” Justin spoke a line that would have fit right in with the lingo of the popular Batman television series of the 1960s.

“That I have,” Gali-Gula the ET gray (whose body was inhabited by the ghost of the late Roman Emperor Caligula) agreed as he turned around.

“Good God,” Justin Trudeau said as he looked at the creature, “you’re gray in colour, you look like ET in appearance, you’re nude and you’re not wearing any panties.”

“That’s true,” Gali-Gula admitted, “although Caitlyn Jenner has promised to take me shopping the next time I visit Beverly Hills.”

“What do you want with me?” Justin asked while blinking at the ET gray in the same manner that Chief Commissioner Dreyfus blinked at Inspector Clouseau in the old Blake Edwards Pink Panther movies with Peter Sellers and Herbert Lom.

“I wish to take a contemporary world leader back to Planet Nibiru for dissection,” Gali-Gula explained.

“But I’m too young to die,” Justin protested, “to say nothing of the fact that I haven’t achieved my goal of having one million selfies of myself taken while topless and posing with bedazzled Canadians and having them posted on Facebook.”

“That is indeed probably a worthy goal,” Gali-Gula was impressed by the young politician’s erstwhile political goals, “I’ll fly over to Moscow and see if the sometimes topless Russian leader will be more accommodating to the idea of a one-way trip to Nibiru.”

“Please do,” Justin felt relieved.

“By the way, do you have any ice I can put on my rear end to cool off my glowing red hot buns that were recently tomatoed by world famous Earthling dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes?” Gali-Gula asked.

“Well, I don’t know about ice but I do have a few ice cold bottles of Molson’s Canadian Beer that I can stick on your rear end,” Justin rose from his couch and approached the refrigerator.

And so Gali-Gula sat with his buttocks on a couple of bottles of Molson’s Canadian Beer while holding in his hands and sipping a large cup of Tim Horton’s Double Double Coffee..

Gali-Gula and the Canadian Prime Minister then discussed world history.

When Gali-Gula mentioned that as Roman Emperor Caligula, he had once appointed a horse to the Roman Senate, Justin looked out the window and noticed that former Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s horse was once again eating the roses in his garden. Harper’s horse never ate the roses in Harper’s garden but only in Trudeau’s garden.

“You just gave me an idea,” Justin grinned, “I always wondered where I could stick Harper’s horse.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 16th 2016.

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