Agathor and Magog Meet In London

November 6, 2019 at 11:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Agathor and Magog Meet In London

Having visited their respective constituencies, former British Conservative Party MP Agathor Christie and former British Labour Party MP Magog Rhys Petley met up again in London.

The two former MPs (of different political parties) had formed a private eye business together in the British capital after their respective defeats in the 2017 UK General Election.

Now that a December election was looming this year, both men decided to try their luck at getting back into Parliament.

Not that it would be an easy task as the 2 British Transhumanist Party candidates who had defeated them- Renfield R. Renfield in Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds (who took out Agathor) and the Welsh vampiress Morgana in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge (who took out Magog) were extremely popular among their constituents heading into the next election campaign.

Still as Count Dracula said when he went to sleep in his coffin the night he would end up being slain by Dr. Abraham Van Helsing, “Never say die.”

Thus proving there was a definite disparity between words and action.

“So, how’s it going, Agathor?” Magog asked his Conservative friend.

“Good, good,” Agathor answered.

Silence.

“And how’s it going, Magog?” Agathor inquired of his Labour friend.

“Good, good,” Magog answered.

Silence again.

“Well, nice seeing you again, Magog,” Agathor finished his beer and stood up to leave.

“You too, Agathor,” Magog likewise finished his beer and stood up to leave.

The two shook hands and went back to their respective London lodgings.

“What a waste of time that meeting seemed to have been,” a British Liberal Democratic MP said to a small talking peregrine falcon who claimed to be a reincarnation of the Egyptian god Horus.

“I agree,” said Horus who was busy looking at the way his eye was depicted on the back of the U.S. One Dollar bill that lay on the table.

The Egyptian jackal headed god Anubis who was sitting at a corner table (and watching the Liberal Democratic Party MP with the talking peregrine falcon who claimed to be the reincarnation of Horus) finished his beer and thought to himself, “I better go and tell Dad that the spirit of his nephew Horus might be possessing the body of a peregrine falcon.”

He went to tell his father the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set the news.

Meanwhile Agathor Christie had returned to his London lodgings and was having pleasant dreams.

He dreamed he was down in Mexico where he was meeting SeƱorita Dulcinea del Toboso the love of Don Quixote’s life.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday November 6th
2019.

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Renfield’s Post-Election Defeat Stress Disorder

May 13, 2015 at 7:14 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield’s Post-Election Defeat Stress Disorder

Renfield R. Renfield the leader of the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party was lying on the sofa in the living room.

His eyes were glazed as if he were in a total state of shock (or had been listening to Paris Hilton giving an oral presentation analyzing the Liebestod in Tristan und Isolde).

Renfield was suffering from PEDSD or Post-Election Defeat Stress Disorder.

All 11 of his independent candidates running on his British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform (including himself) had gone down to defeat in last Thursday’s United Kingdom General Election.

Ten of them had wound up in last place in their respective constituencies including himself Renfield R. Renfield.

And he had done the worst of all the candidates running on behalf of his party- he had received only one vote in his constituency of London Collingwood Hills where his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian Vampire Set’s colossal London mansion was located.

This further sent Renfield into a state of agony as if he were receiving a major enema up the bowels of his netherworld.

“Since I know I voted for myself,” Renfield wept to Athelstan the mansion’s butler and Amadeus Emanon the mansion’s resident concert pianist, “since I always vote for the best candidate, what this means is that neither of you nor the Boss voted for me.”

Both Athelstan and Amadeus looked at Renfield but said nothing.

The independent candidate for his British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party who had done the best was the Welsh Vampiress Morgana (a niece of the sorceress Morgan Le Fay of Arthurian fame) who had come in second behind Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge.

Now there was a call among the country’s science-fiction loving nerds who made up the bulk of the party’s membership that Renfield be dumped as party leader and replaced with Morgana.

So Renfield had rented a Darth Vader costume along with a pair of Mr. Spock ears (that he’d place on either side of his Darth Vader helmet) to give a live webcast speech to the party’s membership tonight defending his leadership.

Renfield picked up from the coffee table a copy of the speech he had written to deliver to the party later that evening.

The speech began, “My fellow Transhumanists, I may never have owned a dog called Checkers but I once played the game of Chinese checkers…”

He put down the speech, sat back on the sofa and looked depressed again.

Amadeus put on the radio to listen to the program The Galloping Guru- a self-help and motivational program hosted by a New Age speaker who gave beatitudes of inspiration and enlightenment while riding on a horse through the Tennessee countryside.

As the emergency sound of a train whistle blowing and the anguished neighing of a horse could be heard, this was then followed by a moment of silence.

Then the somewhat agonized voice of the not-so-Galloping Guru spoke while ambulance sirens were heard in the background, “I’m reminded of something Robert Downey Jr. once said… Just because you hit bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.”

“Just because you hit bottom doesn’t mean there aren’t other movie roles out there besides the male lead in Fifty Shades of Grey either,” Renfield remarked in punishing fashion.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 12th
2015.

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