Renfield Meets Diablos Nocturna In London

July 21, 2014 at 3:01 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Meets Diablos Nocturna In London

Renfield R. Renfield had gone to a fish and chips shop in central London to meet with an MI-6 agent called Diablos Nocturna who had contacted him and requested the meeting.

“You!” Renfield R. Renfield recognized the man as soon as he saw him.

For he had known the man prior to his becoming the MI-6 agent whose code name was Diablos Nocturna.

“Hello Renfield,” the man smiled at him.

“So you work for MI-6 now?” Renfield said as he picked up a menu.

“That’s right,” Diablos replied.

Later after both men had finished their fish and chips, they got down to discussing business.

They discussed the recent shooting down of Malaysia Airlines Flight MH17 over eastern Ukraine and the efforts by pro-Russian rebels in the region to sabotage a proper international investigation into the incident.

“Anyways,” Diablos Nocturna now spoke in the coded parlance of the language of international espionage, “certain parties have decided that it would probably be in the best interests of the world community at large if Russian President Vladimir Putin were to make a sudden and unexpected (for him!) departure from the world stage.”

“From the world stage?” Renfield perked up his ears.

“More specifically from this particular plane of existence,” Diablos added for clarification.

“Oh,” Renfield smiled as he was starting to get the drift of the conversation.

He was starting to feel like the Nicolas Cage character in the 2008 film Bangkok Dangerous.

Although of course Renfield would not be subject to the sudden pangs of conscience that the Nicolas Cage character was.

A fact of which MI-6’s Diablos Nocturna was aware.

“Anyhow there would be a great deal of money in it for you if you could help bring about Mr. Putin’s sudden and unexpected departure from the world stage and this plane of existence,” Diablos went on.

“How much money are we talking about?” Renfield sipped his tea.

Diablos Nocturna wrote the amount on a napkin and handed it to him.

Renfield swallowed his tea in one gulp as he gazed at the amount.

“All right I’ll do it,” Renfield dabbed his lips with another napkin and then put the napkin with the monetary figure written on it into his wallet.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday July 20th
2014.

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Haiku About Malaysian Airlines Flight MH17

July 17, 2014 at 3:34 pm (News, Poetry) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Haiku About Malaysian Airlines Flight MH17

Flight MH17
Ukraine’s war adds to the tears
of Malaysian grief

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Special Guest In Tel Aviv

June 12, 2014 at 7:23 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Special Guest In Tel Aviv

The Controller of The Golem waited at the Tel Aviv International Airport for a special guest to arrive by plane.

The guest had originally been flown to a secret military base in Israel and then transferred to a civilian plane.

The special guest was Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak who had been held prisoner in an FSB interrogation center in Moscow for over a month.

The Controller of the Golem had discovered that Miss Huculak had held information that was of vital importance to Israel’s national security vis-a-vis Russia’s intentions for the Middle East.

So Israeli commandos had flown to Russia in the Israeli Air Force’s most advanced plane (one that was able to evade all forms of radar detection) and had stormed the FSB interrogation center (much to the surprise of FSB interrogators) and rescued Miss Huculak.

The Controller of The Golem was sure that Miss Huculak would find the Israelis to be much more amenable hosts to a Ukrainian national nationalist than Vladimir Putin’s Russians were.

. . .

When Russian President Vladimir Putin heard the news about Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak’s rescue by the Israelis, he pounded the table.

“Damn Jews!” He exclaimed as he sent his lox and cream cheese bagel back to Tevhe’s Delicatessen in Moscow for not having enough cream cheese on it.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 12th
2014.

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Isis and Gen. Vulkan In Poland

May 8, 2014 at 7:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Isis and Gen. Vulkan In Poland

The Egyptian Vampiress Isis was dressed like an Egyptian queen as she inspected NATO troops in Poland.

She wore a long flowing white dress, a necklace of diamonds, jade, rubies and sapphires, a diamond tiara adorned by a precious pearl at the top that was cut in the shape of a crescent moon, and silver embroidered spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes that had on each shoe a pure gold coin as round as the circumference of the sun and bearing the image and inscription of the ancient Roman deity Sol Invictus.

The NATO soldiers on the ground had no idea who this exotic looking strikingly beautiful woman was who was inspecting them and being led around in her inspection by German Gen. Wolfgang Vulkan.

The soldiers knew it couldn’t be German Chancellor Angela Merkel as (mercifully for them) she looked nothing like the German Chancellor.

She looked like American singing superstar Rihanna.

Watching the spectacle and the inspection was the U.K. ‘s Secret Intelligence Service MI-6 Agent who was known only by his code name Diablos Nocturna.

Diablos Nocturna was pretty sure that the one- eyed German general showing Isis the troops was the ancient Norse vampire Odin worshipped as Odin by the Vikings and as Wotan by the ancient Germanic tribes.

“So Gen. Vulkan,” Isis looked directly into the General’s good-eye, “do you think we’ll finally have a war against Russia?”.

“That is my fondest hope, my lady,” the general bowed to her, “as it is yours.”

. . .

The Mossad agent they called the Controller of the Golem read the document that had been forwarded to him from Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

It was a copy of a handwritten note sent to Mr. Netanyahu earlier this year by the Paris-based Egyptian billionairess Isis (whom rumour had it was a Vampiress) offering to help the Israeli government build a Third Jewish Temple on the Temple Mount provided they erected a statue to the ancient Egyptian god Osiris within the Temple.

. . .

MI-6 Agent Diablos Nocturna was engaged in a night of passionate lovemaking and steamy sex with the sexy and sultry Egyptian Vampiress Isis.

After sex, both of them put nicotine patches on their bodies to get the respective post-coital nicotine high while escaping the hazards of dying from lung cancer due to smoking cigarettes (although in Isis’ case she needn’t have worried since a wooden stake through the heart would be far more lethal than any cigarette).

As she inhaled the pretend non-existent cigarette in her mouth, she received a text message on her smart phone from Gen. Vulkan, Interesting developments on the ground in Ukraine. It’s Brussels sprouts for the Valkyries.

Isis immediately stood up and got dressed.

Looking every inch an Egyptian queen, she adjusted her dress and announced, “I’ve got to get to NATO Headquarters in Brussels.”

She left.

At that moment, Diablos Nocturna received a text message from the Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec in Mexico City.

He said with all the eloquence of a Tom Hanks character in a movie adaptation of a Dan Brown novel, “I’ve got to get me to an antiquarian book store in the Gloucestershire town of Tewkesbury.”

. . .

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 8th
2014.

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Dateline: Berlin

May 4, 2014 at 7:20 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dateline: Berlin

Russian President Vladimir Putin was pleased to visit an FSB interrogation room.

For one of his top FSB agents the Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva had finally captured the Ukrainian Intelligence Service’s top agent the Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak.

Mr. Putin noticed that the blonde Vampiress Miss Huculak was wearing a ripped and torn cream coloured Gucci evening dress.

He then happened to notice that the brunette Vampiress Miss Kireeva was wearing the same cream coloured Gucci evening dress.

He deduced that Miss Kireeva had no doubt ripped and torn Miss Huculak’s dress for wearing the same outfit as she.

Svetlana was no doubt furious that she had been caught undead wearing the exact same dress as another woman.

. . .

The agent for the Portuguese Intelligence Service caught the midnight flight from Lisbon to Berlin.

He was carrying a secret message of a highly delicate nature- so delicate that his superiors decided to send him to Berlin to rendezvous with another agent in person (like in the good old pre-digital days of the Cold War) rather than risk sending it over the Net or some other form of electronic communication where it might be picked up by some highly sophisticated electronic eavesdropping system.

The Portuguese agent was to meet the Israeli Mossad agent by the last remaining portion of the Berlin Wall which served as a memorial to those terrible days at the height of the Cold War when Berlin was a divided city.

The two agents would identify one another with the line, “Please sir, I want some more” to which the other would respond, “What the dickens do you mean?”.

The Portuguese agent saw the man standing alongside the Berlin Wall reading a copy of Oliver Twist.

The Portuguese agent walked over and said, “Please sir, I want some more.”

The other man responded, “What the dickens do you mean?”.

Both men were gunned down by machine gun fire.

“Look Martha,” an American tourist pointed out to his wife on the late night tour bus, “they’re role playing a cross-over escape from east to west.”

“Yeah, that looks like real blood too,”
his wife applied dark rouge lipstick to her lips.

The ‘pro-Russian militia man’ walked over to the body of the Portuguese agent and removed the message from inside the dead man’s vest.

As he walked away, the all-night tour bus was playing on the radio a local Berlin radio talk show where Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov had phoned in to say that he categorically denied that there were any Russian soldiers operating in Berlin these days.

. . .

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 4th
2014.

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Syrian Presidential Election Announced

April 21, 2014 at 7:12 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Syrian Presidential Election Announced

British Prime Minister David Cameron sat wondering what the Hell on earth had happened to the parliamentary envoy he had sent to Russia last week- Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (although Cameron didn’t know that the man was a werewolf) who had been sent over to Moscow for secret diplomatic talks with Russian President Vladimir Putin on the Ukraine crisis.

The man Magog had just vanished on the streets of Moscow a week ago and hadn’t been seen since.

. . .

It was announced at a meeting of the Syrian Parliament in Damascus that a Presidential election in Syria would be held on June 3rd of this year.

As the announcement was made, the Syro-Phoenician Vampiress Astarte sat in Parliament and listened.

She immediately checked the messages on her smart phone and noticed that the U.S. was already condemning the election as a “parody of democracy”.

She smiled.

The Russian government had already been saying the same thing for weeks about the planned Ukrainian Presidential election set for May 25th of this year.

She licked her lips and her vampiric fangs delicately and exquisitely.

All was going according to plan.

. . .

New Orleans Vampiress Angelique Dumont was in her exclusive London apartment.

The Vampiress who was a songstress and an actress now made her career performing live on stage in theatrical productions and musicals in the theatre district of West London.

She held in her hand a message delivered by courier that was from a Park Avenue billionaire in New York City.

The billionaire had offered her $500,000 U. S. if she would sing for him at a private recital for him and a group of friends in his Park Avenue penthouse apartment next week.

Despite the high fee he was offering, she felt an extreme queasiness and unease at accepting.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 21st
2014.

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The Friday The World Turned Black

April 18, 2014 at 7:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, History, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Friday The World Turned Black

It was Maundy Thursday evening on Park Avenue in New York City as the mysterious billionaire behind the black curtains of his apartment enjoyed a lone supper of a boar’s head and roast pork and lobster and shellfish and sipped champagne from a gold chalice.
He was on a speaker phone in a conference call with 12 of his associates in important national capitals around the world.

. . .

At the exact same moment as the Park Avenue billionaire broke off a piece of pork with his bare hands and sampled it and sipped from the cup of champagne, a mysterious figure stood on the very top of Mount Everest and spoke to a man who also stood on the top.

“Do you see all these nations of the world from up here?” The mysterious figure asked the man, “I will give you them all if you worship me.”

“I see nothing but a lot of clouds at so great a height,” the man replied.

The figure waved his hands and all the nations of the world appeared to the man in a vision.

“See them now?” The figure asked, “I WILL give you them all if you worship me.”

“All right,” the man replied.

As soon as the man spoke those words, an avalanche occurred on Everest.

The avalanche immediately buried and killed 12 Sherpa guides.

. . .

It was Good Friday afternoon at 3:00 PM local time as the Park Avenue billionaire’s supersonic jet flew with great speed above the Andes right over the Chilean-Argentinian border.

On board the jet was the man who had accepted the offer from the mysterious figure atop Everest.

The man was in the plane’s washroom urinating and talking to UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon on his mobile phone right as the plane flew above the statue of Christ of the Andes.

The statue of Christ of the Andes had been unveiled on March 13th 1904.

109 years later on March 13th 2013, an Argentinian Jorge Mario Bergoglio would be elected Pope and take the name Francis.

. . .

The Park Avenue billionaire was listening to the radio.

Pro-Russian militias were not leaving government buildings in eastern Ukraine- one of the conditions in yesterday’s accord in Geneva between the U.S. , the EU and Russia.

Meanwhile Poland’s Defence Minister Tomasz Siemoniak announced that U.S. ground forces would soon be deployed in Poland in response to the Ukraine crisis.

The Park Avenue billionaire smiled as he sipped his glass of sherry.

All was going according to plan.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 18th
2014.

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Blood Red Moon Passover

April 14, 2014 at 7:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Blood Red Moon Passover

As the high-ranking American diplomat prepared to enter NATO Headquarters in Brussels Belgium for discussions on the ongoing military escalation of the crisis in Ukraine, he started to wonder why the symbol for NATO also contained the acronym in reverse OTAN.

He suddenly noticed a figure entering NATO Headquarters.

The figure, he thought to himself, closely resembled artistic depictions he had seen of the Norse god Odin.

Or as he was called in the Old High German tongue Wotan.

. . .

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was howling and barking all over the streets of Moscow having turned into a werewolf with the presence of the full moon in the night sky.

But as the moon was eclipsed in tonight’s lunar eclipse, he turned back into human form.

As he did, he was attacked by a strikingly beautiful long- haired brunette woman wearing a very tight skirted gold mini- dress and black silk fishnet nylons and literally glowing blood red spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

The woman was Russian Vampiress Svetlana Kireeva an agent of the FSB.

As she bit his neck and drained and sucked a little blood, the Greek vampire Ares (who was worshipped as Mars the god of war by the ancient Romans) walked by.

As the Red Planet Mars rose above the blood red moon in the Moscow night sky, Ares remarked sadly in a loud voice, “I have the feeling that my girl friend Aphrodite is cheating on me and making love to somebody else and it isn’t her husband Hephaestus.”

“It’s Wotan the chief god of the Germanic pantheon she’s making love to,” Svetlana called out after him as blood dripped down from her fangs.

. . .

The lunar eclipse was not visible in the Jerusalem night sky as the Controller of the Golem walked back home from his synagogue where he had been attending Passover services.

However as he looked at the night sky, he thought he could see a huge serpent like figure rising above the Temple Mount.

It gave a whole new meaning and a rather eerie one at that to that ageless question that’s asked at every Passover, “Why is this night different from all other nights?”.

. . .

The Royal Canadian Navy ship Sir John A. MacDonald was sailing in the North Atlantic.

As the captain peered through his binoculars, he thought he could see a huge passenger ship appearing on the horizon.

That was strange.

He looked at his watch.

It was 11:40 PM April 14th 2014.

There weren’t supposed to be any passenger ships in this area at this time.

Stranger still, the passenger ship seemed to be a giant colossal steamship.

The captain thought the age of huge passenger steamships was surely past.

As the ship seemed to edge closer towards his own vessel, he again peered through his binoculars so he could see the name of the ship.

What the – ?

The name said, R. M. S. Titanic.

The ship that had struck an iceberg at 11:40 PM ship’s time the evening of April 14th 1912.

And had finally sunk beneath the waves of the North Atlantic at 2:20
AM the early morning of April 15th 1912.

. . .

The radio was on in the Park Avenue apartment of the New York City billionaire who had recently hired contract assassin and serial killer Pan Goatee.

Although no one was in the room.

The body of the parrot Caesar still lay dead on the floor of his bird cage after he had been shot and killed by the New York City billionaire a few days before.

So far the maid still hadn’t dropped by to bury Caesar not to praise it.

“Good evening New York,” the voice on the radio said, “or perhaps I should say Good morning since it’s now 2:20 AM. Did you catch tonight’s lunar eclipse? I didn’t get a chance to get out of the broadcast booth. And speaking of broadcasts, this is my 102nd broadcast on this station.
And speaking of the number 102, it’s been 102 years since the Titanic sank…”

At that moment the huge globe of the world (with the grotesque face painted on it) that sat in front of the huge black curtain behind which the billionaire sat when he received visitors- crashed to the floor and shattered into over 7 billion tiny pieces.

. . .

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 14th
2014.

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Magog En Route To Russia

April 6, 2014 at 4:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Magog En Route To Russia

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was flying a British Airways flight from London to Moscow.

He was on a secret diplomatic mission for the British government.

He was flying to Moscow to meet Russian President Vladimir Putin and ask him on behalf of the British government to withdraw his troops from the Ukraine-Russia border.

When asked to do this by British Prime Minister David Cameron and British Foreign Secretary William Hague, Rhys Petley asked the two gentlemen, “And what should I offer Putin in return if he does do this?”.

“Use your imagination,” Hague retorted over his cup of tea.

So Magog Rhys Petley was carrying in his wallet a personally autographed copy of the official Engagement photo of Sir Elton John and his future husband David Furnish who would be wed next month under the new laws allowing same sex marriage ceremonies in England and Wales which recently took effect.

Magog would give Putin the photo if he withdrew his troops from the Ukraine-Russia border.

Magog figured he owed the British government this favour.

After all the British government had intervened with the Irish government in Dublin and asked them to drop criminal charges and release the backbench British Labour MP when he was arrested during a Dublin police raid that took place in a Dublin brothel in the late evening hours of Saint Patrick’s Day.

Magog had gone to the brothel to cure his depression and anxiety attacks after he had witnessed a live Druidic human sacrifice ceremony that had taken place earlier that night near Blarney Castle.

Although the tea-toddling Dublin police sergeant who ordered the raid was immediately fired by his superiors for having the audacity to wreck Saint Patrick’s Day celebrations by doing so, Irish prosecutors decided they better prosecute those arrested in the raid.

A quick call from British Prime Minister David Cameron to Irish Taoiseach Enda Kenny (after Cameron had heard the shocking news of Rhys Petley’s arrest in a Dublin bordello) led to the charges against the Welsh MP being discreetly dropped and Magog being discreetly released.

British Labour Party leader Edward Miliband had severely reprimanded his backbench MP when he had returned to his Westminster offices.

“What were you thinking being arrested inside a Dublin bordello?”
Miliband had asked him, “Our London bordellos aren’t good enough for you?”.

And so now Magog was on his way to Moscow to ask Vladimir Putin to kindly remove his troops from the Ukraine-Russia border.

Magog took a quick sip of brandy.

He sure hoped dear Vladimir liked the photo of Sir Elton John and his fiancé David Furnish.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 6th
2014.

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On The Ukraine-Russia Border

April 2, 2014 at 7:24 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

On The Ukraine- Russia Border

Ukrainian Vampiress Inna Huculak stood on the Ukrainian side of the Ukraine-Russia border and looked at the mass array of Russian troops assembled on the other side of the border.

She was standing hidden among some trees on a wooded area of the border.

On the ground right on the border she happened to notice a broken statue of the Blessed Pope John Paul II who was to be canonized a saint by Pope Francis later this month.

The head and the hands of the statue lay broken and smashed on the ground.

On the Russian side of the border, she noticed an old poster blowing on the ground.

The poster was being blown along the ground by a powerful wind.

She happened to notice the face on the poster.

It was the face of former Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev who had presided over the dissolution of the old monolithic totalitarian one-party state that had been the old Soviet Union.

The poster blew far far away to the south never to be seen again.

Inna Huculak heard the sound of a peculiar ignition- the sound of a tank starting up.

Up in the sky in the East over the border was a bright star- a glowing seemingly bright red star.

It was just above the emerging rays of a Russian sunrise soon to rise and spread its rays across the Ukrainian border.

Inna Huculak thought she better seek the sanctuary of her coffin- a coffin filled with the soil of what was for the time being- the soil of her Ukrainian homeland.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 2nd
2014.

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