Ulysses, The World Communists’ Trojan Horse and Tom Cruise’s Comeuppance

December 16, 2020 at 11:38 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

“It is an ironic masterstroke of history that a man with the heart and soul of a Ku Klux Klansman (let’s call him Joe Biden) would be used by the Communists as a trojan horse to seize control of the U.S. Presidency.”
-Renfield R. Renfield British MP

In the Elysian Fields, Ulysses the Greek hero king of Ithaca was complaining to King Agamemnon of Mycenae (who was busy lying on a couch as he was getting counselling from the ghost of Sigmund Freud over his relationships with his children Electra and Orestes), “I knew the Trojan Horse. I was friends with the Trojan Horse. Hell, I built the bloody Trojan Horse. Joe Biden is one fucked up Trojan Horse.”

At the request of Ulysses’ patron and muse Athena the Greek goddess of wisdom, Ulysses was dispensationally released from the Underworld by Hades and Persephone to do battle with the KKK heart and soul Trojan Horse of the Great Reset World Communist Party.


Penelope the Queen of Ithaca awaits the return of her husband Ulysses

. . .

After losing a snowball fight to British MP Renfield R. Renfield, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had agreed to relax lockdown restrictions in the UK over Christmas.

Up to 3 households could meet over Christmas for a social gathering.

The lockdown restriction loosenings had been met with outrage by the Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist health authorities and “experts”.

As they gathered to protest the easing restrictions, a 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears and a group of small snowclad garden gnome lawn ornaments carrying cream pies launched those dessert missiles into the faces of the Communist constipated looking health authorities and “experts”.

“That bunny rabbit and those gnomes weren’t wearing masks or practicing social distancing,” a Harvey Wallbanger drinking health “expert” remarked.

. . .

“You’re not wearing masks or practicing social distancing,” an irate actor Tom Cruise beat up up his film’s camera crew and some movie extras on a London street.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield happened to be walking by when he noticed the commotion being caused by the abusive and profanity spewing Hollywood superstar nutjob.

Renfield went up to Cruise, grabbed him and drove his head through a wall rendering him unconscious.

Renfield continued walking down the street singing,

“Have yourself a Merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on
Our troubles will be out of sight…”

The incident was captured on camera.

Actress Nicole Kidman, watching news footage of it on television, gushed, “Who was that handsome man?”.

“I believe that’s your ex-husband,” her hairstylist replied.

“No, not that moron,” Nicole said, “The one who just drove his head through a wall.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 16th
2020.

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Pan Goatee In Athens

July 3, 2015 at 5:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee In Athens

Genetically created half-man half goat satyr serial killer and contract assassin Pan Goatee was walking the streets of Athens, Greece.

Pan was seeing what chaos he could create in this already chaotic situation that was unfolding in Greece.

What inspired him to come here was a dream he had the night before where he was standing outside the walls of ancient Troy and he saw Paris (the lover of Helen of Troy) standing beneath the Trojan Horse and looking up and shouting, “Hey Ulysses, I really think it’s time you come down off your high horse.”

As Ulysses did so, he forgot to use the ladder and took the quick way down instead.

An action which resulted in his death.

To say nothing of his brains being bashed out and splattered all over the ground.

The goddess Athena appeared and wept.

Ulysses had been one of her favourite mortals.

For as a member of the female sex, it had been her experience that thinking was an action that most males were totally unfamiliar with.

And the fact that Ulysses had made much use of his cerebral processes had sent her the goddess of wisdom into many an orgasm.

As Athena kneeled there weeping over the death of Ulysses and bewailing her loss of orgasms in the foreseeable future, Pan Goatee googled on his Samsung Galaxy smart phone recipes for cooking brain stew.

That’s when he woke up.

He astral projected himself to Athens to see what chaos he could wreak.

He shapeshifted into the appearance of German Chancellor Angela Merkel and stood there sticking his tongue out and making fun of Greek citizens queing in a long line up at one bank ATM machine.

He then went to another ATM machine at another bank around the corner where there was another long que of Greek citizens anxious to get money.

This time he shapeshifted into the appearance of Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras and stuck his tongue out and made fun of those standing there.

Back in his air conditioned hotel room over an ice cold cocktail, Pan Goatee enjoyed a good laugh over the Angela/Alexis impersonations he had performed at numerous long bank ques throughout Athens.

It should make for an interesting result in next Sunday’s referendum, Pan Goatee thought to himself.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 2nd
2015.

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Magog Rhys Petley On Saint Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2014 at 6:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Poetry, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Magog Rhys Petley On Saint Patrick’s Day

Magog Rhys Petley
A Welsh werewolf he be
and British Labour MP
swept across the Irish Sea
landing on Irish shore
receiving kisses galore
from a pretty young Colleen
that was on the scene.

This revived him to life
after severe weather’s strife
so he took it on life’s chin
and headed off to Dublin
a fine old girl of a town
where pint o’ Guinness erases frown.

He spent many a fine and carefree day there
complimenting the ladies on their hair
He happened to meet Ukraine’s former PM
and thinking of Solomon’s concubine gem
He mistook Yulia Tymoshenko for a hooker
who walloped him with full force of a James Joyce booker
and so wearing Ulysses for a crown
sporting a black eye all around
he headed off to another town
where this time Murphy’s erased his frown.

He wandered across Ireland far and wide
said Hello to Galway’s tide
kissed the Blarney Stone and a young bride
as he ran to escape the angry groom
he tripped over a witch’s broom
in a strange place full of gloom
not far from Blarney Castle
so found this Welsh rascal
a place where the Druids did sacrifice
and we’re talking humans not mice.

Their best laid plans may go astray
in this wood where night swallows day
Magog saw with his very eyes
and heard the anguished cries
of a victim tied to a stone
the colour red was not jam on scone
The Druidish priest lowered his knife
and took away the Church clergyman’s life.

May Saint Patrick’s Faith be gone from this land
Restore our ancient religion so grand
the Druid priest spoke as the earth did quake
Magog looked down- at his foot a snake.

-A vampire novel chapter
written in the form of a poem
written by Christopher
Monday March 17th
2014

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