Dr. Marmalade Montague Investigates Causes of Sulphuric Explosions
Dr. Marmalade Montague was a scientist who worked at Set Enterprises in London.
Even though he had no official background in science.
He had owned a bakery in Paris that went out of business during the 2020 plandemic lockdown under the orders of France’s Neo-Vichy tyrant Emmanuel Macron.
Still Marmalade Montague knew more about science than most of the so-called health “experts” who dispensed bad advice by the manure filled truckload during the plandemic of 2020-2021.
Dr. Marmalade Montague’s current project was investigating the causes of sulphurous explosions.
For this purpose he had sent Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was the son of Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom) to the Yellowstone Caldera Supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park to pick up a sample of sulphurous contents bubbling up from the ground.
While Yaldabaoth was there using a baby bottle to pick up a sample from one of the bubbling craters, the crater had a major explosion.
Luckily for Yaldabaoth, being a leprechaun, he was immortal so the explosion didn’t kill him.
However it did put a dent into his plans to spend a night at the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Nevada as he could hardly go into the place smelling like rotten eggs.
The explosion did however kill a sasquatch who was walking by.
The sasquatch was currently in the process of litigation (a major lawsuit) against the man codenamed PH Unbalanced by Britain’s MI-6 Agency and the man considered the world’s most boring author.
The world’s most boring author had written a novel claiming that this sasquatch had murdered the world’s most boring sheriff’s deputy.
The claim was in fact true but what the sasquatch objected to was being written about and included as a character in a novel that was so unbelievably colossally boring.
He hadn’t been able to get a date since the novel was published as most female sasquatch and even a few gay, bisexual and transgendered sasquatch considered him too boring to date.
The sasquatch had gone to a City of Laramie Wyoming law firm to launch a lawsuit against the world’s most boring author PH Unbalanced filing the claim that “being included as a character in the world’s most boring novel written by the world’s most boring author had totally ruined his sex life”.
Now as a result of the sulphurous explosion, the sasquatch was dead.
Yaldabaoth after several months of showering would be able to have a sex life again.
The poor sasquatch being dead could not.
Dr. Marmalade Montague was also investigating the cause of Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements alluded to into final (and end of life) reports written by some of the world’s late top secret agents in spy agencies.
For that, Dr. Marmalade Montague was using the visions of Michelangelo the psychic lobster.
Apparently back on January 28th 2021 (7 days after Biden was inaugurated having successfully stolen the 2020 U.S. Presidential election), senile old Joe had been invited to speak at a United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City in March of that year.
He was not to be the number one speaker however.
He was to be the number two speaker (which was appropriate for Joe).
The number one speaker was to be the well known Jewish Rastafarian and self described “independent pharmaceutical manufacturer” from Australia known by the popular moniker of Uncle Ernie (assuming of course that Uncle Ernie wouldn’t be in jail in Australia “drummed up on some nefarious charges brought against him by the government” as Uncle Ernie would put it).
The fallen archangel Mephistopheles (who was one of Joe Biden’s 3 supernatural advisors along with Baal and Baphomet) had recommended to Joe that he send someone to try to find the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and bring them to the U.S. for Joe Biden to eat the remains prior to giving his number two speech to the United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City.
The Gadarene swine of course had been possessed by the demons known as Legion and had been sent by Jesus Christ into the swine after Jesus had successfully exorcised a man known as the Gadarene demoniac.
The swine then charged into the Sea of Galilee.
Thus acting on orders from Joe Biden, the American Deep State set about to recover the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.
Israeli Mossad agent Anna Chador to a Tel Aviv based scuba diver: “Would you be able to dive to the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and see if the remains of the Gadarene swine are still down there and if they are to bring them up to the surface?”.
He: Yes.
Unfortunately for Biden and Mephistopheles, those agencies associated with the American Deep State such as the CIA were having a top secret convention at Area 51 (remember this was the time of the plandemic and everything and everyone was supposed to be in lockdown) and the treats at this top secret convention were Australian Uncle Ernie’s independently made pharmaceuticals.
Thus after the convention, the CIA were in no shape whatsoever to go looking for the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.
However there were plenty of reports of sightings of UFOs and ETs at Area 51 after this convention.
Thus the spaced-out CIA outsourced the mission to the Israeli Mossad.
The task was assigned to one of Israel’s top female agents Anna Chador and after consulting with a Tel Aviv based scuba diver, a deep sea mission was undertaken and the Gadarene Swine were found perfectly preserved at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.
The bodies were raised from the depths and then flown to Washington DC.
Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay was brought in to cook the remains at the White House.
He made pork chops out of them which he topped with his famous homemade Sriracha laced apple sauce.
Joe Biden ate all of the Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce leaving the other guests at dinner hungry and awestruck at the senile old fool’s ravenous appetite.
The Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce remained fully stuck in Joe Biden’s intestines and could never be removed (something the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles knew would happen).
The direct result of the Gadarene swine pork chops and Sriracha laced homemade apple sauce being forever stuck in Biden’s intestines would be that he would always have sulphurous explosive bowel movements.
It was fortunate that the New York Chapter of the United Jewish Appeal decided to have their dinner and speeches via Zoom due to the plandemic.
The secret service agents guarding Biden on the night of his United Jewish Appeal Zoom dinner speech were not so lucky.
In an effort to boost the profits of the pharmaceutical manufacturing investments of one Dr. Anthony Fauci, the cause of the secret service agents’ deaths was listed as Covid rather than sulphurous fumes.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 28th
2022.
Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka At 1965 Salvador Dali Art Show
Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka at 1965 Salvador Dali Art Show in New York City
The year was 1965.
The immortal Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka had been invited to attend a Salvador Dali Art Show at an exclusive Upper Park Avenue art gallery in New York City.
She wasn’t sure why she was invited but she flew from London to NYC to attend the show as Salvador Dali was considered one of the 20th Century’s greatest artists.
It turns out the show was guarded by FBI agents for some reason.
“I’d like to see your QR Code,” an FBI agent said to Tanaka as she was about to enter.
“What?” Tanaka looked at him strangely.
“Oops, sorry, wrong year,” said the FBI agent who was a time traveler from the future.
Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau, who was overseeing security for the show, hit the FBI agent over the head, “Moron.”
Tanaka entered the gallery.
The name of the show was VOYNICH AND THE NEW WORLD ORDER.
As she entered, she noticed New York Gov. Nelson Rockefeller in there glad handling the crowd.
Rockefeller’s slogan when he ran for President in 1968 was NEW WORLD ORDER.
But most people had forgotten that.
They thought New World Order was first mentioned by Skull and Bones CIA spook turned President George Herbert Walker Bush when he gave a speech to the U.S. Congress on September 11th 1990.
“What is this Voynich?” Tanaka asked the gallery’s owner.
“It is a mysterious manuscript written in an unknown language that is believed to go back to the late Middle Ages and early Renaissance period,” the owner explained, “It was said to have been examined by the famous 17th Century Jesuit polymath Athanasius Kircher who was unable to decipher it. The manuscript takes its name from a Polish antiquarian book dealer Wilfrid Voynich who purchased it from a Jesuit College in Rome in 1912. Our artist Salvador Dali was invited to examine the manuscript by its current owner. Dali examined the manuscript after being fed a supper of magic mushrooms by a strange character who’s here today. Calls himself Uncle Ernie.”
The owner pointed towards a strange individual who was going around carrying a plate of what he called “the most delectable white sugar laced donuts” who was offering it to people.
“And these paintings are based on images of what Salvador Dali saw within the Voynich Manuscript?” Tanaka inquired.
“They are,” the owner nodded.
The Lakota Sioux Princess Tananka in front of one of the Salvador Dali oil paintings based on images in the mysterious Voynich Manuscript.
Tanaka heard comments from some of the guests.
A man who claimed to be a CIA agent was bragging to Uncle Ernie while eating one of his delectable white sugar laced doughnuts, “We the Deep State shot Jack Kennedy. We’re going to shoot his younger brother Robert F. Kennedy as well if he doesn’t stop being so uppity.”
The FBI agent (who was a time traveler from the future) said, “The Deep State may have to do something about Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as well since he seems to be resisting it in 2020 and 2021.”
“Shut up you moron,” Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau once again slapped him.
“What strange guests,” The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka thought to herself.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 16th
2021.
Ichabod and Ickabob
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was flying over Australia in the Set Enterprises’ dirigible airship The Wild Colonial Boy.
This airship like all of Set’s airship fleet was very eco-friendly and environmentally friendly and was powered by a cannabis engine.
The Wild Colonial Boy however ran on a very special high octane form of cannabis.
This cannabis had been developed by Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie back at the Hotel California in the Summer of ’69.
A large amount of this cannabis managed to eventually find its way into a Vancouver apartment that was rented out in 1978 by Canadian singer Bryan Adams.
Which was a good thing.
Because the recipe for this type of cannabis was immediately forgotten by Uncle Ernie right after he made it.
The same was the case for every other type of drug made by Uncle Ernie.
As those who suscribe to Uncle Ernie’s Drug of The Day Uberhigh Club by mail say, “You never get the same type of drug from Uncle Ernie twice.”
Seeds from Uncle Ernie’s Summer of ’69 Hotel California cannabis eventually found their way to auction at Sotheby’s in London in the summer of 2021.
Where they were purchased by the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set beating out both George Soros and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad Bin Salman in bidding.
And now Renfield was flying around the world from London England to Sydney Australia in just 10 minutes using the super power octane like cannabis engine that ran on Uncle Ernie’s Summer of ’69 Hotel California cannabis.
Uncle Ernie had beat NASA, Jeff Bezos, Sir Richard Branson and Elon Musk all to Hell.
By powering a 1930s style very old fashioned dirigible.
And not even knowing it.
As he stood on an empty Sydney stage in a near empty Sydney theatre singing the title role of his drag queen Cumelita as he was unintentionally setting his girdle on fire.
The only person in the Sydney theatre was Daniel Andrews the Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist tyrant Premier of Victoria state a neighbouring state of the state of New South Wales (New South Wales’ capital was Sydney).
Andrews being a globalist elitist and not a mere simple pleb was not subject to his own draconian lockdown rules (or anyone else’s for that matter).
He sat in the theatre not wearing a mask or pants or even a condom as he sat pleasuring himself like American children’s show TV host Pee-wee Herman in a porno theatre.
The seat would of course have to be steam cleaned afterwards.
. . .
Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher was showing his boss the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set blown up and magnified images of what was on microscopic slides showing samples from both the Moderna and Pfizer “vaccines” (really mRNA genetic serums) for the Wuhan CCP virus (called Covid-19 by the pro-Communist WHO World Health Organization).
The nanobots and nano-organisms in the “vaccine” were magnified an infinite number of times.
An octopus like micro-organism moved itself off the slide in one sample.
And another octopus like micro-organism moved itself off the slide in another sample.
“The Set Enterprises’ Intelligence Unit is investigating the possibility that Bill Gates’ paid help managed to extract DNA from Cthulhu,” Dr. Rocher explained.
“And it’s through this,” Set asked, “that my brother and brother-in-law Osiris (so beloved by Freemasons everywhere) intends to rule the world?”.
Dr. Rocher nodded.
“And do you have a name for this octopus like micro-organism?” Set inquired.
“I call it Ickabob,” Dr. Cadbury Rocher answered.
. . .
The ghost of Orson Welles was reading a huge leather bound volume on Vampires and Ghosts that he had borrowed from the personal library of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
“Did you know that Katrina Van Tassel became a vampiress?” Welles asked Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.
“She did?” Dracul was shocked, “Katrina Van Tassel who was fought over by two men the mortal schoolteacher Ichabod Crane and the ghostly Friedrich Wotan Wiesbaden the Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow?”.
“That’s right,” Welles nodded as he sipped a ghostly glass of spectral red wine.
“I don’t drink… wine,” the voice of Bela Lugosi could be heard coming from the nearby television set which was showing the 1931 film Dracula.
“How did she become a vampiress?” Van Helsing asked.
“Dracula was visiting upstate New York at the time and gave her a hickey,” Welles answered.
When Van Helsing went back to his London apartment, he found vampiress Katrina Van Tassel inside.
Katrina Van Tassel
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 10th
2021.
Extremely Curious George
“Well, I’m sure Renfield will be happy to see you back in London, Amadeus,” Set Enterprises’ secret agent Miranda Singh remarked to Amadeus Emanon who was the best friend of British MP Renfield R. Renfield and had been living for over a year in Australia, “but I thought the Australian government wasn’t allowing you to leave Australia because they found something strange with your DNA and were wanting Australia’s intelligence agencies to investigate further.”
“That’s true but the Boss,” Amadeus was referring to his official employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “sent one of his eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis-powered dirigible airships The Peregrine Falcon to rescue me after my Australian host Uncle Ernie had his backyard unauthorized and illegal pharmaceutical manufacturing facility raided and poor Uncle Ernie once again finds himself in jail.”
“Why was Uncle Ernie raided?” Miranda inquired.
“Xi Jinping discovered that Uncle Ernie was the major competitor and rival to the CCP illegal drug monopoly in Australia and Xi couldn’t stand having any major competitors in the Australian market,” Amadeus explained, “Many Austalian politicians depend on CCP illegal drug money to help finance their political campaigns and so when the word got out that Xi’s axe was about to fall on Uncle Ernie’s head, many Australian politicos put on their executioners’ masks.”
“Like Victoria State Dictator Daniel Andrews whose nickname is Chairman Dan?” Miranda asked.
“Yes, Andrews recently slipped on some wet stairs at his holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula a week ago,” Amadeus nodded, “surprisingly the day after Uncle Ernie gave a surprise evening performance of his drag queen show Cumelita to kangaroos and koala bears who were watching the performance through the Andrews holiday home window. It was strange the Australian police said they found traces of Uncle Ernie’s DNA on those wet stairs which leads one to speculate on what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing.”
“I’m sure a YouTube video will appear eventually showing what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing,” Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague remarked as he entered the room.
“Unless of course Uncle Ernie sang a song whose lyrics dispute the official Covid-19 narrative currently being espoused by the World Health Organization,” Miranda quipped, “in which case that video will be immediately banned by YouTube, Twitter and Facebook.”
“Was that a stegosaurus I just saw walking by?” Amadeus gasped as he pointed out the office window.
“Yes, Dr. Cadbury Rocher successfully cloned a stegosaurus using stegosaurus DNA found on the blood sucked by the perfectly preserved remains of a 155 million year old mosquito,” Montague smiled.
“What’s its name?” Amadeus asked.
“Extremely Curious George,” Montague answered.
“Extremely Curious George?” Amadeus repeated the name in the form of a question.
“Yes, like Curious George the monkey in the famous children’s stories and later film,” Montague nodded, “only a lot more curious.”
A strange cry is heard.
“Um,” Montague turned pale, “I think Extremely Curious George may have just examined the mouse trap I set to catch the mouse who’s been stealing my grilled cheese sandwiches.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 15th
2021.
Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka On Night of The Wolf Moon 2021
The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka on the Night of The Wolf Moon
The January full moon is called the Wolf Moon and on this night a wolf was terrorizing the countryside.
It so happened that the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka was in possession of the battle axe of William Wallace the great Scottish warrior and hero of the 1st War of Scottish Independence who defeated the English Army at the Battle of Stirling Bridge in September 1297.
She also wore the painted red seal of Wallace on her head, left eye and face as she wandered through the snowy woods in search of the wolf terror.
Then Tanaka came face to face with the wolf terror.
She recognized the beast right away from ancient and medieval drawings.
It was the Norse wolf Fenrir.
It was a good thing for Tanaka that she had the great William Wallace’s battle axe with her.
Tanaka threw the Wallacian battle axe and beheaded the wolf.
The wolf’s severed head growled in the now bloody snow surrounding it after it had left its body.
In the Lupine language, the wolf had said through its growling, “I hate it when that happens.”
. . .
The Norse god Odin was staying in a cheap motel room as he would be attending an important meeting the next few days.
The only places in this town where he was staying had cheap motel rooms.
Odin had missplaced his spectacles so he was inserting a contact lens into his sole remaining eye.
He was wanting to watch the 1940 movie Waterloo Bridge starring Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor on television.
As Odin tried to get the contact lens out of the tiny glass bottle container that it was in, he reflected back to a time in Australia when he had accidentally inserted a very small circumcized foreskin into his eye after removing it from a tiny glass bottle container.
“It belonged to some pervert who looked even worse than you did when you dressed up in drag,” Odin had said to his son Thor at the time.
After Odin had got the contact lens into his eye on this Night of the Wolf Moon, Thor came to inform his father that both Loki and Fenrir had been beheaded.
Loki had apparently been beheaded yesterday and Fenrir had been beheaded this evening.
“So,” Odin smiled, “We may not have to fight the Battle of Ragnarok after all.”
Odin and Thor then ordered pizza and take out Chinese food that they had delivered to their motel room and then proceeded to watch the 1940 version of the film Waterloo Bridge on the room’s TV.
Thor despite his tough guy macho image was bawling and sobbing like a baby by the time the movie was over.
Odin phoned down to the front desk to have another box of kleenex tissues brought up to the room.
“I’ll never be able to stand at that spot on London’s Waterloo Bridge again without bursting into tears,” Thor sobbed, “I won’t be able to look at a Buddha good luck charm without bursting into tears either.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 28th
2021.
Reblog of Aphrodite At Oxford
A vampire novel chapter I wrote from last year.
Aphrodite At OxfordÂ
The Greek goddess Aphrodite writing her term paper on the Native American myths surrounding the origins of the North American Plains Buffalo
The Greek goddess Aphrodite had recently returned from the town of Stettler, Alberta, Canada where she had been researching Cree and Blackfoot indigenous myths on the origins of the North American Plains Buffalo.
She was putting the finishing touches on her term paper for the class she was taking in World Mythology and Folklore.
The class was taught by Prof. William Charles an Associate Professor of Mythology, Folklore, Vampirism, Lycanthropy and Paranormal Studies at Oxford.
His class was extremely popular and hard to get into.
Nevertheless the Greek goddess Aphrodite when visiting Prof. William Charles in his office before the start of this semester was able to convince the famed supernaturalist into letting her into class even though she had no previous formal education.
The…
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Christoph Cardinal Schonborn of Vienna Publicly Outs Himself As An Apostle of The Antichrist
Amadeus Emanon was reading the Facebook status comment of a geopolitical analyst friend of British MP Renfield R. Renfield:
“The pro-sodomite, pro-gay sexy orgy, pro-allowing filthy drag queen shows to be performed at the High Altar of Saint Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna Cardinal Archbishop of Vienna Christoph Schonborn is an Apostle of the Antichrist.
And judging from remarks he made today on the U.S. election and the Capitol Hill siege in Washington DC (which the satanic Neo-Bolshevik Left in America is going to use to abolish civil liberties in America (when Biden is sworn in) in the same way the Nazis used the German Reichstag fire of February 27th 1933 to abolish civil liberties in Germany) Schonborn is also a Marxist-Leninist Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Communist as well.
Christoph Schonborn is of his father, the Father of Lies, the Devil.
Unless he repents and turns to Christ and His Holy Mother, he shall burn forever in the outer darkness of the flames of the Lake of Fire where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
“I wonder why I was never invited to perform Cumelita at the High Altar of Saint Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna,” Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie wondered aloud as he scratched his chin and scratched other parts of his anatomy after Amadeus had finished reading aloud the Facebook status.
“Perhaps Cardinal Schonborn didn’t want to get a head start on being plunged head first into the Lake of Fire,” Amadeus suggested.
“What did you mean by that?” A perplexed Uncle Ernie asked Amadeus.
The aging and well past his prime drag queen then turned his attention to the kitchen and screamed, “Where the Hell did all those flames come from?”.
“Uncle Ernie!” His adopted niece by marriage exclaimed, “You should never have left your Driver’s License lying around in front of those koala bears you taught how to read. They made you a birthday cake and lit all the candles of your exact age on it.”
“Help!” Help! Fire! Fire!” Uncle Ernie’s adopted nephew by merciful adoption rather than biology opened the front door and went running into the street.
The local fire department soon beat a red path to the kitchen door.
. . .
Xi Jinping’s supernatural spirit entity advisor the Black Dragon was having a meeting with the fallen angel Mephistopheles and his incredibly dim witted protege Joe Biden.
“Comrade Mephisto,” the Black Dragon read aloud from a list of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) demands, “The Party would like to know if you would allow the Red State to be able to harvest the organs of Donald Trump supporters since you’ll have no use for them in the New Soviet state.”
“Joe, what do you think?” Mephistopheles turned to the President-elect who was busy sniffing the hair of the young woman sitting next to him.
“Hell, why not?” Joe grinned, “I can sign an Executive Order to that effect”
. . .
Meanwhile a beautiful young woman suddenly woke up in a small town in Kansas:
“I have seen the Future. And it doesn’t work.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 15th
2020.
Renfield’s Global Zoom Press Conference
Amadeus Emanon had been living in Australia for almost a year.
He had been stranded here by the pandemic.
He and his girlfriend the New Orleans vampiress Angelique Dumont had been staying in the house of the infamous Uncle Ernie (a house that was actually owned by Uncle Ernie’s adopted nephew who got down on his knees every day and thanked God that Uncle Ernie wasn’t a blood relative).
“I wonder why those men and women from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation were so anxious to extract large quantities of my DNA last year in 2019,” Uncle Ernie mumbled to himself as he happily set about his task of trying to make scrambled fossilized dinosaur eggs.
The news story on the radio was about how the UK, then Canada and then the U.S. were rolling out the Covid-19 vaccine.
Amadeus was on his laptop to watch a Zoom global press conference that his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield was hosting.
Renfield sat in his parliamentary office gazing at the camera on his laptop while reporters from all over the world asked him questions.
Between each reporter’s question, the picture on the wall just behind Renfield was always changed.
Beautiful women dressed in short skirts and white t-shirts that said PRO SEX LEAGUE OPPOSED TO ORWELLIAN 1984 ANTI-SEX LEAGUE came in to change the picture behind Renfield when a new reporter appeared on Zoom to ask a question.
Soon it came to the turn of U.S. reporters to ask a question.
3 reporters from each country were allowed to ask one question each of Renfield.
As the first U.S. reporter asked a question, the short skirted and tight white shirted PRO SEX GIRLS put up a poster showing Bill Gates and Dr. Anthony Fauci standing together while the caption read WOULD YOU BUY A USED VACCINE FROM THESE MEN?
As the 2nd U.S. reporter asked a question, the short skirted and tight white shirted PRO SEX GIRLS put up a poster of U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi while the caption read WOULD YOU BOOK A HAIRDRESSING APPOINTMENT FOR THIS WOMAN?
As the 3rd U.S. reporter asked a question, the short skirted and tight white shirted PRO SEX GIRLS put up a poster of a despondent looking Hunter Biden while the caption read WOULD YOU SELL CRACK COCAINE TO THIS MAN?
As the 1st reporter from the Vatican City State rose to ask a question, the short skirted and tight white shirted PRO SEX GIRLS put up a poster whose caption read PACHAMAMA SUCKS and the picture showed an elegantly dressed red evening gown wearing Inca Earth Mother goddess Pachamama on her knees kneeling in front of Renfield who didn’t appear to be wearing any trousers or boxer shorts.
Pachamama the Inca Earth Mother Goddess
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 10th
2020.
Renfield Takes On Communist Covid-1984 Tech Giants
It had been brought to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s attention that the social media tech giants were censoring, suspending and banning a whole bunch of people in the wake of the 2020 U.S. Presidential election.
“Future historians will look back and say,” Sir Winston Churchill’s ghost remarked to Renfield, “that they first started to impose the 21st Century variant of Communist totalitarianism in the virtual digital world before moving on to the real world.”
Orson Welles’ ghost drinking a spectral glass of spectral red wine agreed.
“Something must be done to stop this,” Renfield put on his dark sunglasses.
Renfield, who already had a YouTube account, opened a Facebook and Twitter account as well and started commenting on the Democrats’ crooked shenanigans in the recent 2020 U.S. Presidential election.
Sure enough he was permanently banned from both sites after having been a member for only a couple of hours.
YouTube following phone calls from Facebook, Twitter, George Soros, Pope Francis and Xi Jinping also permanently banned Renfield as well.
Renfield also received a nasty phone call from Russian President Vladimir Putin saying that Set Enterprises’ 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit secret agent Harvey Tallbanger injecting the Russian leader with a hemorrhoid inducing serum was the cause of the onset of his Parkinson’s Disease which would be forcing him to resign next year.
“Well so far you appear to be upsetting the Communist applecart more than Steve Bannon ever did,” Churchill’s ghost lit himself a cigar.
“Yes, Twitter and Facebook banned you only a couple of hours after you joined,” Welles’ ghost pointed out.
“And Twitter, Facebook and YouTube are going to unban me,” Renfield said.
Renfield borrowed Yaldabaoth’s pet pterodactyl from Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.
The leprechaun was visiting London after recently returning from Sleepy Hollow of Headless Horseman fame.
The wee fellow with the huge drinking problem was visiting London because he hadn’t heard about the lockdown.
Sadly for him, there was no place to get a drink.
As for Renfield, he flew Yaldabaoth’s pet pterodactyl Hovering Voyeurius Over Raquelis Welchius (Hovering for short) to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s home.
“You’re going to unban me from Facebook,” Renfield informed Zuckerberg.
“Like Hell I am,” Zuckerberg sneered.
Renfield finished his cup of chai tea and put it on the counter of Zuckerberg’s kitchen.
“Hey, you’re not practicing social distancing,” Zuckerberg screamed as Renfield placed the Facebook CEO’s testicles into a vise which the British MP proceeded to tighten.
Within minutes, Zuckerberg had agreed to permanently unban Renfield from Facebook.
Next Renfield flew the pterodactyl named Hovering (for short) to Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey’s house.
Within a few minutes of having his own testicles firmly ensconsed in the grip of Renfield’s vise, the Twitter CEO likewise agreed to permanently unban Renfield from Twitter.
Once again in the air flying upon the pterodactyl Hovering, Renfield, as he ate a bowl of take out chop suey with chopsticks, mused to himself, “For some reason, I’m reminded of something the late former U.S. President Richard M. Nixon once said, “If you’ve got a man by the balls, his heart and mind is sure to follow.” And coming up next is YouTube CEO..”.
Renfield noticed he had a problem.
YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki was a woman.
This called for a different sort of approach.
Notorious Australian drag queen Uncle Ernie found himself being abducted in a non-social distancing bath house in Sydney by a group of Norse Valkyries who owed Renfield a favour.
Uncle Ernie then was made to perform his Drag Queen show in front of YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki.
“All right, all right,” Ms. Wojcicki screamed after a few minutes of Uncle Ernie riding his toy horsie and singing Home On The Range, “You’re unbanned.”
“Unbanned? Well, I must say this is certainly a first for me,” Uncle Ernie commented.
“Not you, you imbecile who would probably fail at an audition for the role of Charley’s Aunt in the Brandon Thomas play,” Ms. Wojcicki raged and foamed, “Renfield is permanently unbanned from YouTube. Only please get this freak out of here.”
Susan Wojcicki pointed at Uncle Ernie.
“But,” Uncle Ernie protested as he was carried away by a group of winged Valkyries, “It’s not only Brazil where all the nuts come from.”
The Renfieldian War against Covid-1984 Communism had begun.
The first shots were fired not at Fort Sumter.
But at Uncle Ernie’s backside by sling shot carrying neighbourhood schoolchildren as the notorious Australian drag queen and uncertified pharmaceutical manufacturer flew overhead being carried in the arms of Valkyries.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 6th
2020.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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