The Kraken Visits Conflans-Sainte-Honorine

October 17, 2020 at 10:55 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Kraken known as Napoleon VI was the leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party and was a sitting member of the French National Assembly.

He, along with his wife Medusa the ex-Gorgon, was currently visiting the French town of Conflans-Sainte-Honorine some 30 km (20 miles) northwest of central Paris.

They were here under sad circumstances.

To visit the College du Bois d’Aulne where a teacher at the school Samuel Paty had been beheaded yesterday by an Islamist terrorist as he walked down a street heading from the school towards his home.

Mr. Paty had been a history and geography teacher at the school and had recently given a class lecture on freedom of thought and freedom of expression with reference to Charlie Hebdo a French satirical magazine that had published cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad in 2015.

For that action, the office of Charlie Hebdo was attacked by Islamist terrorists and several members of the staff were killed.

The trial over that attack had recently begun.

Three weeks ago an Islamist terrorist had stabbed a couple of people outside the former offices of Charlie Hebdo apparently oblivious to the fact that the satirical magazine had moved to another location.

Mr. Paty had shown his class pictures of the cartoons that Charlie Hebdo magazine had published.

This made Samuel Paty a marked man.

The murderer of Mr. Paty was Abdoulakh A. an 18-year-old Chechen from Russia who lived in the Normandy town of Evreux about 100 km (62 miles) from the murder scene and had no apparent previous connection with the teacher or the school.

Apparently Abdoulakh had waited outside the school this past Friday and had asked students to identify the teacher.

He followed Mr. Paty who was walking home and attacked him, inflicting multiple wounds to his head and then beheading him.

The Islamist terrorist then posted images on social media of his victim and his severed head.

As he continued to post photos on Twitter referring to President Emmanuel Macron and the French as “infidels” and “dogs”, police approached him.

The terrorist fired at police with an airgun.

They returned fire and the terrorist was shot 9 times in all.

His subsequent demise saved the Fifth Republic of France the cost of an expensive trial.

The Kraken and Medusa talked to some of Samuel Paty’s students- current and former.

A father of one of the students had posted on Twitter “My daughter is in pieces, terrorized by the violence of such an act. How will I explain to her the unthinkable?”.

Samuel Paty had been a well-liked teacher at the school.

One of Mr. Paty’s former students Martial, 16, had said that the teacher absolutely loved his job, “He really wanted to teach us things.Sometimes we held debates in class.”

After talking to the students and laying flowers at the site where Mr. Paty was slain, the Kraken phoned his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield to discuss the growing terrorist threat in France.

Meanwhile down in the Underworld, Abdulakh A. was expecting to be rewarded with 72 dark-eyed virgins and lots of cosmic celestial sex.

Imagine his surprise when the three-headed dog Cerberus escorted him to a rotating barbeque spit over an open fire where he’d be spending his next eternity.

“Where are the 72 dark-eyed virgins that were promised me?” Abdulakh screamed as a trio of one-eyed cyclops giants tied him to the spit and began the neverending rotation.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 17th
2020.

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Tartarus Bound and The Keys

September 18, 2020 at 10:22 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

As the three headed dog Cerberus led the late U.S. Associate Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to her rotating barbeque spit over an open fire in Tartarus where she’d be spending her next eternity, three other figures had just been granted a one year dispensational leave from their rotating barbeque spits in Tartarus.

Pope Francis, who had actually lost the Keys of Saint Peter several years ago but didn’t bother relaying that message to Hades the Greek god of the Underworld, had communicated with the cthonic deity to release the three figures.

Bergoglio had communicated with Hades via a Rome based spiritist medium Sophia de Medici.


Sophia de Medici: Who did not feel at all threatened, sexually harrassed or lusted at by the men who worked in Pope Francis’ Vatican.

Later after the three figures arrived in Rome, Pope Francis had a Zoom conference video meeting with powerful figures from around the globe.

Meanwhile British MP Renfield R. Renfield was informing the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set that the term “Great Reset” was a globalist code word for establishing a One World Marxist Leninist government.

Earlier this week Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Ethiopian Communist who headed WHO (the World Health Organization) said that the current crisis would not end “with a vaccine but only with a total reorganization of society. We can never go back to the way things were before.”

Renfeld told Set: “That’s globalist code for freedom is permanently dead.”

The Sodom and Gomorrah admiring Italian-American physician Dr. Anthony Fauci (medical darling of the mainstream Marxist media) also talked about the need for combating climate change and for redistributing the world’s wealth (although by that he didn’t mean his own personal wealth would be available for redistribution- notation by Renfield).

Flaky Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi blamed both the CCP Wuhan virus and the California wildfires on climate change.

“Mother Earth is mad at us!” Said the San Francisco Congresswoman while sporting a Medusa serpentine hairdo.

Likewise conceited, pompous and arrogant California Gov. Gavin Newsom blamed the California wildfires on climate change.

Just as the latest California wildfire was being started by fireworks going off at a gender reveal party in the woods.

Certainly one fiery revelation to say the least!

At the Davos Forum in Switzerland earlier this year, George Soros told participants that this year must mark the start of the “Great Reset”.

Now George Soros, Bill Gates, American economist Jeffrey Sachs and U-2 singer Bono were in a Zoom video conference with Pope Francis.

“Gentlemen,” Pope Francis held his hammer and sickle crucifix given him as a gift by Evo Morales the former Marxist President of Bolivia, “I have asked Hades to release three spirits from Tartarus for an entire year to help us as we launch the Great Reset.”

The ghosts of Lenin, Stalin and Mao Tse-tung stepped forward into the room where the Unholy Father was addressing his fellow Zoom conference participants.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 18th
2020.

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Huchuysisa At Luxor

August 12, 2020 at 11:10 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The Inca Vampiress Huchuysisa standing in front of one of the pillars of the Temple of Luxor

The Inca vampiress Huchuysisa stood alongside one of the pillars of the Temple of Luxor.

Approaching her was the ghost of Orson Welles who was walking with the ghost of a man who looked to be dressed in the garb of a classical Greek warrior.

Welles’ ghost was wearing spectral dark sunglasses and appeared to have lost weight the past week by a steady diet of spectral vegan plant based camelburgers.

“Look who I’ve found,” Welles’ ghost flashed a wide smile as he took off his spectral sunglasses.

“Who?” Huchuysisa asked.

“The ghost of Alexander the Great,” Welles introduced the ancient Greek king and conquerer, “Apparently the Greek god Zeus asked his brother Hades to release Alex from the realm of Hades back in January. Hades consented and Alex had gone on a Mediterranean cruise to see what the modern Mediterranean looked like. And wouldn’t you know it, this wretched CCP virus (which WHO has mandated everyone should call the Covid-19 virus so that’s why I’m not doing it) struck. Poor Alex’s ship was sailing aimlessly for months. It was finally allowed to dock in Alexandria after Alexander had to bribe a whole bunch of officials with a bunch of rare and valuable ancient Greek drachma coins that Charon the Styx river ferryman had neglected to remove from Alex’s mouth when he was crossing the Rivers Styx and Acheron after kicking the bucket centuries ago.”

“What is Alexander doing here at Luxor?” Huchuysisa asked.

“He’s come to see the Temple of Luxor where he had himself crowned Pharaoh of Egypt centuries ago,” Welles replied as he lit a spectral Cuban cigar.

“But some scholars claim he was never actually crowned Pharaoh of Egypt here,” Huchuysisa pointed out, “That he never got south of Memphis. That he was only crowned conceptually and not in person here. He got himself crowned conceptually at Luxor since being crowned Pharaoh at Luxor was the Egyptian Pharaohonic thing to do. And Alexander wanted to do it.”

“Is that true, Alex?” Welles’ ghost pulled a large spectral bottle of red wine out of his coat pocket.

“I don’t know,” Alexander’s ghost shrugged, “I can’t remember. I drank a little from the River Lethe (the river of forgetfulness in the Underworld). Not as much as my fellow spectral travellers who were with me did. I do remember much but there’s quite a bit I have forgotten.”

“I wonder,” Welles’ ghost poured himself a spectral glass of spectral red wine, “if Joe Biden ever stumbled and bumbled his way down to the River Lethe in the Underworld and mistaking it for the Pierian Spring, he drank deeply from it.”

The winged horse Pegasus flew by the vampiress and the ghostly duo.

Meanwhile down in his basement, Joe Biden mistaking his pot smoking cactus plant (which was a gift to him from some crazy Australian named Uncle Ernie who had taken way too many cuttings off his adopted nephew’s pet pot cactus plants) for his wife asked the plant, “Dear, who was it I named my Vice-Presidential running mate again? I’ve forgotten.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 12th
2020.

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Hi’ iaka’s Dance and Song: Dutchman On The Rocks

July 13, 2020 at 10:40 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“The time seems to be growing short!”
Poseidon said to his brother Hades
as he noticed sands through the centuries’ long hourglass
starting to run out.
“I wonder if I should send the sirens close to that ship
to beckon the Dutchman towards his final Stygian port!”
Poseidon stroked his beard and twiddled his trident.

“The sirens have long surpassed their quota of bringing ships in
towards their final Stygian ports,” Hades put on his spectacles
to browse the latest accounting report and statement
put together by his own personal infernal accountant,
“That Dutchman is a braggart and a fool.
He’ll offend somebody and when the final dice is rolled,
They whoever they may be will summon the Dutchman towards his final Stygian port.”

Captain Hendrick Van Der Decken
stood at the wheel of the Flying Dutchman
It had been a long time
since that fatal year of 1641
when he had blasphemed Christ
and thrown his Crucifix into the sea
after having sold his soul to the Devil
in the waters of the Cape of Good Hope
off South Africa

Hendrick had long since given up on the idea
of ever making landfall again
To sail ocean waters until Doomsday
he had accepted as his fate

An albatross with an arrow stuck in its feathered breast
landed on the ship’s wheel
and squawked like a parrot,
“You’re never going to make landfall until the Apocalypse,
You’re never going to make landfall until the Apocalypse!”.

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Captain Van Der Decken grimaced.

“All right, the square root of pi is… oh, my God, I’ve forgotten!
The square root of pi is… oh, my God I’ve forgotten!”.
And with that the albatross spread its wings
and flew off
Presumably in search of an electronic calculator
or one positively mesmerizing abacus.

“Thanks for nothing!” Van Der Decken spit into the wind
And the wind returned the favour.
A huge splash of wave wiped off the spit.

The Captain followed a star in the heavens
Unbeknownst to him, the star was the comet NEOWISE
haunting the early morning sky in various parts of the world

His ship came within sight of Hawaii
And there on the rocks off shore
danced Hi’iaka the Hawaiian goddess of dance
She danced the hula and sang a sweet lovely song

Hendrick felt a stirring in his loins
Something he hadn’t experienced in centuries
and he steered the ship’s wheel in the direction of the song
and the sight of the heavenly vision

Hi’iaka’s elder sister Pele the goddess of volcanoes and fire
was offended by the Captain’s look of lust
and blew her top

Lava and molten rock
struck the ship Flying Dutchman
and broke it apart
The ship’s wheel and the Captain
landed on the rock
On which Hi’iaka danced the hula

As Hi’iaka danced,
she smiled
and wagged her finger
at the Captain
and said,
“No lei for you.”

And with that Captain Hendrick Van Der Decken
fell back below the surface of the waves
there to be ferried across the River Styx
and growled at on the shore
by the 3-headed dog Cerberus.

-A supernatural narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 13th
2020.

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Pan Goatee Beheads Fat Ugly Blimp While Marxist Quartet Visits DC

July 4, 2020 at 10:42 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee received an email from his local public library telling people not to put their library books in the microwave and turn it on in the mistaken belief that this will kill any Covid-19 virus lurking on the book covers and jacket.

“I can’t believe the stupidity of people these days,” Goatee remarked.

But there was plenty of stupidity going around as some fat ugly blimp was stupidly wandering around the neighbourhood where Pan Goatee lived.

Goatee quickly beheaded the fat ugly blimp with his astral laser machete and cut her up into 666 quadrillion pieces.

There was a beautiful woman who had been walking alongside the fat ugly blimp.

“Just on the off chance ugliness is contagious like the Covid-19 virus,” Goatee spoke in solemn infectious diseases “expert” tones as he beheaded the beautiful woman.

Dr. Anthony Fauci had never addressed the question on whether or not ugliness was contagious (although there was some evidence for it when one looked at news footage of the overall appearance of women who attended Hillary 2016 rallies 4 years ago).

Dr. Fauci himself had caught a mysterious virus a few days ago that had turned him into a garden gnome lawn ornament.

Although members of House and Senate Committees that Dr. Fauci had testified in front of the past week hadn’t noticed any difference.

As Joe Biden made his 4th of July message on his front lawn surrounded by garden gnome lawn ornaments whom, he told the assembled media, were wanting to smell his hairy legs, Biden said, “The most patriotic thing one can do this 4th of July is to wear a mask.”

Biden made the statement while NOT wearing a mask.

At the 4th of July fireworks display over Washington DC, the ghosts of Vladimir Lenin, Josef Stalin, Mao Tse-tung and North Korea’s first Communist leader Kim Il-sung were all watching.

The ghosts of the Marxist quartet had been temporarily released by Hades from roasting away on their respective barbeque spits down in Tartarus at the request of Pope Francis who was quite anxious that the foursome should see this year’s 4th of July fireworks over Washington DC.

Pope Francis’ request to Hades had been co-signed by American economist Jeffrey Sachs, Bill Gates of Microsoft and botched vaccines fame, George Soros, WHO head Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres and Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

“Just think,” Stalin shed tears, “By next year’s 4th of July celebrations, this country will belong to us.”

“Or at least your ideological successors at any rate,” the 3 heads of Cerberus growled as the famed Underworld dog chased the 4 back to Tartarus.

And then in the glow of the Buck Moon (the nickname of the July full moon because this is the time of year when the male deer begin to grow their antlers), Cernunnos the Celtic horned stag god of beasts and wild places stood atop the Washington Monument obelisk in the moonlight.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday July 4th
2020.

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Pan Goatee Slays Heavy Drinking Uglo While Hades and Poseidon Hold Summit

June 28, 2020 at 10:30 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Pan Goatee was sickened by the sight of some repulsively ugly looking creature entering a liquor store.

“I guess if I was as ugly looking as you are, I’d be driven to drink as well,” the satyr commented as he lopped the uglo’s head off with his astral laser machete.

He then cut up the said uglo into 999 quintillion pieces with his machete as he addressed the approaching blind folded and covid mask wearing rats and approaching blind folded and covid mask wearing nanites who’d be eating the remains of the uglo and then vomiting them up on the banks of the River Styx for transport to Tartarus, “With the Covid refusing to die down like a good virus, the United Nations’ Communist Secretary-General Antonio Guterres saying he hopes a global Marxist government can be quickly established as the “new normal” in a post-pandemic world and Neo-Bolshevik insurrectionists establishing a neo-Jacobin French Revolutionary style Reign of Terror in the U.S., you’re not helping matters aesthetically polluting Gaia by wandering around with your ugly looking faces ruining the days of sensible people everywhere but of course not the days of stupid people (of which there seems to be an overabundance in the Western world). Dickens said of the years of the original Reign of Terror, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”. But thanks to the repulsive pathetically ugly ugliness of uglos such as yourself, we’ve only got the “worst of times’ in this second Reign of Terror.”

Meanwhile down in the Underworld, Hades the Greek god of the underworld was holding a summit meeting with Poseidon the Greek god of the Ocean.

“The Underworld seems to be inundated with a lot of uglos these days because of that troublesome satyr Pan Goatee,” Hades complained to Poseidon.

“I don’t think you can blame Pan Goatee,” Poseidon came to the defense of the satyr, “you have to blame the Western world for somehow having an overabundance of ugly females. Our brother Zeus says he no longer visits Canada and the U.S.A. anymore when he’s feeling raunchy. It just invokes nausea in him.”

“Turning to another matter, I granted the ghost of General Andrew Jackson a dispensational release from Purgatory so he can go fight the Neo-Bolshevik insurgents that are trying to take over the U.S.,” Hades lit himself a cigar.

“Jackson heard about that?” Poseidon ate a scallop.

“Yes, news reached him about the Neo-Bolshevik insurgents trying to tear his statue down in the vicinity of the White House a few days ago so now he wants to go fight them,” Hades explained.

“And why did you agree to his request?” Poseidon asked.

“Because he provides me with such good cigars,” Hades blew smoke rings, “although I think he gets them from the ghost of his wife who was apparently quite the cigar connoisseur in her mortal life.”

“What’s the latest with the Neo-Bolshevik insurrection in the U.S. anyways?” Poseidon ate a lobster who was a distant cousin of Set Enterprises’ famed psychic lobster Michelangelo.

“I hear Antifa has been advertising a peaceful family friendly 4th of July Flag Burning at the Gettysburg Cemetery this coming 4th of July,” Hades drank a gin and tonic.

“I imagine Abe Lincoln’s ghost and Union General Ulysses S. Grant will be requesting dispensations if that goes ahead,” Poseidon remarked.

“Undoubtedly,” Hades nodded.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday June 28th
2020.

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Pan Goatee Tries His Hand At Reality Therapy While Renfield Muses On Brexit and The Irish Backstop

September 9, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee Tries His Hand At Reality Therapy While Renfield Muses On Brexit and The Irish Backstop

Satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was headed to the food court of the neighbourhood mall when suddenly he encountered a repulsively ugly looking white female that was a semi-human stoat hybrid.

The ugly looking creature seemed to be walking from the public library across the square.

Goatee correctly deduced that she was walking from the public library because like all people who are both female and ugly, she no doubt fancied herself an intellectual – something common to these creatures who thought that being both female and ugly automatically put them in that category of society known as intellectuals.

Goatee knew that this was faulty slop shodded reasoning because the most intellectual woman he had ever encountered in his life was a beautiful Malaysian woman who resided in a quiet Bavarian village.

“You pathetic ugly looking loser!” Goatee discoursed in therapeutic commentary that was never heard on TV programs like Dr. Phil as he beheaded the creature from the dung heaps of Beelzebub.

Meanwhile over in England, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a discussion on Brexit and the Irish backstop with his friend Amadeus Emanon.

“There is now of course thanks to my date with the vampiress Polish Countess Elena Dubrovna this past Saturday the possibility that Poland, Hungary or the Czech Republic if not all 3 will veto any extension to Brexit going on beyond October 31st of this year,” Renfield ate a piece of pumpkin pie with whipped cream on top.

“I hear pro-New World Order EU nations may also veto any EU deal on Brexit if it doesn’t exactly resemble the deal negotiated by Theresa May,” Amadeus noted.

“They have,” Renfield nodded, “which is why I’ve sent a cable to Vladimir Putin saying the UK would secretly approve any annexation of the said EU nations to the Russian Federation should Putin wish to go ahead with something like that.”

“I see,” Amadeus started to eat his own slice of pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

“Boris Johnson seemed to have quite an amenable meeting with Irish Taoiseach (Prime Minister) Leo Varadkar today,” Renfield started eating his Guinness laced shepherd’s pie, “It seems Varadkar is quite amiable to the idea of the backstop applying to Northern Ireland only instead of the United Kingdom as a whole. Unlike the Neo-Stalinist assholes in the EU bureaucracy in Brussels who want all of Britain to remain under the thumb of EU directives as EU bureaucrats seek to establish their idea of a Stalinist-Trotskyite synthesis Soviet United States of Europe which is definitely a recipe for a disaster in the making.”

“But won’t the Democratic Unionist Party remove their support from the British Conservative government given that they’re staunchly opposed to a Northern Ireland only backstop?” Amadeus queried.

“Of course the ghosts of both Winston Churchill and Orson Welles have informed me that the ghost of the Democratic Unionist Party’s founding leader the Rev. Ian Paisley is roasting away on a barbecue spit in Purgatory which is even more offensive to his Irish Scots Presbyterian sensibilities than if he was roasting away on a barbecue spit in the flames of Tartarus itself,” Renfield answered.

“Well despite Rev. Paisley discovering the Hell that Catholic doctrine is in fact true even though the current head of the Catholic Church Pope Francis no longer believes in Catholic doctrine, how does this take away from the fact that the DUP (Democratic Unionist Party) is staunchly opposed to a Northern Ireland only backstop?” Amadeus wanted to know.

“Well,” Renfield poured more Guinness on his shepherd’s pie, “I’ve already advised Boris Johnson to tell the Democratic Unionist Party to go fuck themselves.”

“Even though that’s biologically physically anatomically impossible,” Amadeus noted.

“Exactly,” Renfield grinned.

-A vampire novel chapterĀ 
written by Christopher
Monday September 9th
2019.

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Satanic Rock Stars, Justin Trudeau, Trump Vs. Dorian and DARPA Looks For Tunnels

August 29, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Satanic Rock Stars, Justin Trudeau, Trump Vs. Dorian and DARPA Looks For Tunnels

“Teaching the doctrine of the actual real existence of Hell was the biggest defect in Jesus Christ’s character.”
-Bertrand RussellĀ 

“So, what are you looking at on the Net?” Amadeus Emanon asked his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“At a news item that Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande and a bunch of other demonically inspired losers in today’s music industry are planning a rock concert Rock Stars For Murdering Babies,” Renfield replied.

“Do they intend that to be the Woodstock of the year 2019?” Inquired a shocked Amadeus.

“Oh, most likely,” Renfield nodded.

. . .

Meanwhile in Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was issuing a blistering attack on Federal Conservative Party leader Andrew Scheer.

Foamed Trudeau as his head spun around 360 degrees and he spewed out French green pea soup in Linda Blair style fashion, “Mr. Scheer does not support the values of the demons Baal and Baphomet. For as we all know the values of Baal and Baphomet are Canadian values. How do we know they’re Canadian values? Because being the cultural Marxist and progressive Fascist that I am, I say that they are Canadian values. To disagree with me and my fellow anal retentive social justice warriors is high treason and constitutes hate crimes of the highest magnitude.”

. . .

In Britain, the pro-EU group Best For Britain (financed by leftist billionaire George Soros) said that in lieu of Queen Elizabeth II granting UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s request for proroguing Parliament, what happened to King Charles 1st 370 years ago in 1649 might happen to the Queen this year.

. . .

Donald Trump (speaking to the news media after having wiped cream pie off his face some 24 hours earlier), “As we all know the people of Florida face the possibility of Hurricane Dorian barrelling down on top of them over the Labour Day weekend. We in this Administration will joyously and happily give them all the support, aid and money that they need should disaster happen. After all, it’s not the people of Florida’s fault that they live in an area often hit by hurricanes. And even more importantly I own a lot of resorts and golf courses in Florida. Whereas of course I don’t own any resorts or golf courses in Puerto Rico. I could stand to lose a lot of money if anything happens to my property in Florida. This would truly be a tragedy for this great nation if that were to occur. And someday, the Norse god Thor willing, I shall own a resort and golf course in Greenland.”

Trump then boarded a helicopter where another cream pie was thrown in his face by the 6 foot 8 tall invisible bunny rabbit Harvey Tallbanger.

“Shit! Not again!” Trump cried out.

. . .

Yesterday Wednesday August 28th DARPA (the Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency) also known as the “Mad Scientists’ Wing of the Pentagon” put out a twitter tweet asking for a city based tunnel the size of a shopping centre with several layers and maybe even a few atriums to it be made available to them (DARPA) as soon as possible and please let them know by Friday August 30th 2019 at 5:00 PM (DARPA local time).

The strange request which only a James Bond super villain or Lex Luthor or The Joker (from Batman) would probably be able to fulfill did receive a few replies.

Someone asked if DARPA was looking for Demogorgon (a character from the Dungeons and Dragons role playing game known by his titles “Prince of Demons” and “Lord of All That Swims In Darkness”).

DARPA tweeted back that “Demogorgon was a Department of Energy thing” not a DARPA thing.

Justin Trudeau was secretly pleased by the amount of Canadian cannabis that DARPA and U.S. Department of Energy employees were consuming.

. . .

“Not believing in the actual real existence of Hell was the biggest defect in Bertrand Russell’s character.”
-Renfield R. RenfieldĀ 

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 29th
2019.

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The Controller of The Golem In Prague

August 19, 2019 at 10:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

The Controller of The Golem In Prague

The Mossad agent code named the Controller of The Golem stood on the Charles Bridge in Prague the capital of the Czech Republic.

The Charles Bridge had been built back in 1357 by Charles IV the King of Bohemia and the Holy Roman Emperor.

The Controller was to meet in a rendezvous with the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

Back on February 19th of this year, the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith while wearing a Karl Lagerfeld evening gown had, with the help of a hypnotized Count Dracula, stolen the inanimate body of the Golem of Prague from the invisible corner of the attic of Prague’s Old New Synagogue.

The inanimate body of the Golem of Prague was being held for ransom on the vampiress Lilith’s heavily guarded country estate outside Astana Kazakhstan.

Earlier today however Lilith had sent an encrypted coded message to the Controller of the Golem saying that she would return the Golem’s inanimate body to him tonight on the Charles Bridge in Prague with no questions asked.

The Controller naturally expected a trap which was why he was wearing a bullet proof vest as he walked across the bridge.

It was then that the Controller recognized a large centaur walking at an easy pace across the bridge.

The Controller of the Golem recognized the centaur as Acheronus a centaur who came from Acheron the River of Woe in the Underworld of Hades.

An eccentric Interpol friend of the Controller- Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol- had sent the Mossad agent a picture of the equine-homo sapien hybrid beast from Hades earlier this year.

The Controller did not pay much attention to the Centaur as Acheronus was mainly known for shooting and killing climate change deniers, people who pollute the environment and U.S. country club Republicans with his poisonous bows and arrows.

Imagine the Controller’s surprise therefore when a poisoned arrow came right through his bullet proof vest (which wasn’t arrow proof).

The Controller of the Golem collapsed at the foot of the Crucifix on the Charles Bridge in Prague.

. . .

The Mossad agent code named Star of Azazel received a text message from Hephaestus the blacksmith of the Greek gods.

Hephaestus who was currently working on a pair of horse shoes for Acheronus the Centaur informed Star of Azazel that the centaur assassin’s mission seemed to be a success.

Star of Azazel (who knew the codes for supposedly encrypted messages from the vampiress Lilith to Mossad) smiled.

His fellow agent the Controller of the Golem could have been a major pain in the ass in this matter of the mysterious death of Jeffrey Epstein.

. . .

The Controller of The Golem raised his head above the pavement and looked up at the figure of Christ on the Crucifix.

The Controller found it ironic that Acheronus would shoot at him so that he would fall at this particular spot.

“Maybe you really are The Lord after all, Yeshua,” the Controller said thinking about his grandmother.

His grandmother had converted to Christianity before she died and so was considered the black sheep of the family.

Just before he left his Prague hotel room for his supposed meeting with Lilith on the Charles Bridge, a pterodactyl drone (invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher) had tapped his robotic reptilian beak and robotic reptilian claws on his hotel room window.

When he opened the window, the pterodactyl drone presented him with a handwritten note from his friend Dr. Cadbury Rocher as well as a package containing a vest.

The note from Dr. Rocher read, “Please wear this poisoned arrow proof vest under your bullet proof vest for your meeting on the Charles Bridge tonight. Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster recommends it as he just received a vision of treachery and skulduggery.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 19th
2019.

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Hades Emergency Meeting

July 29, 2019 at 10:52 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Hades Emergency Meeting

“Ugly looking female teen stoat/ human hybrids grow up to be ugly looking adult female stoat/human hybrids,” Pan Goatee remarked as he beheaded the ugly looking female stoat/human hybrid as she was riding a bicycle down the street.

Meanwhile down in the Underworld, the Greek god Hades (who was known as Pluto to the ancient Romans) was holding an emergency meeting with his advisors on the huge number of repulsive looking spirits that were showing up daily from Calgary to cross the River Styx over to the Underworld.

Said a phlegmatic Phlegyas (who was extra phlegmatic this morning because he had eaten a full English breakfast as opposed to his usual continental breakfast), “We’re having to have orangutans wearing special darkened glass visors (whereby they see the shades of the dead as mere shades) hand out paper bags at the ferry docks for Charon’s boat to any Caucasian female soul arriving from Calgary on the high probability that they’re quite repulsively ugly. They are instructed to put the paper bags over their heads for the crossing across the river Styx. This is to prevent the occurrence of unstoppable vomiting on the part of both Charon the ferryman and Cerberus the 3-headed dog (all of whose 3 heads immediately start vomiting simultaneously) upon seeing the said hideous spirits.”

“Hopefully this will put an end to the problem,” said Hades.

“Until Pan Goatee manages to find the sinister Nazi criminal network responsible for breeding a certain type of brainless male with female walruses, stoats and gargoyles that’s producing these hideous looking hybrids by the thousands in that poor city,” Phlegyas coughed up more phlegm.

Meanwhile on the Caribbean Island of Little Saint James (owned by Jeffrey Epstein), the Caribbean Sea kraken Uhluhtc (666 meters tall) was strolling across the island accompanied by a Haitian voodoo high priest Samedi.

Uhluhtc stood on one spot and grunted.

Samedi waved to one of the island employees who no doubt lived on the nearby island of Saint Thomas.

Samedi spoke to the island employee, “The Great Kraken says that while he lived in the depths of the Caribbean, he had a vision of a great Temple that stood on this spot. The Temple was guarded by two small statues of owl wearing goddesses. He wonders what happened to this Temple.”

“It was torn down a while ago,” the employee answered.

Uhluhtc once again grunted.

“What did he say?” The employee inquired.

“He said merde,” Samedi answered.

Meanwhile in New York City, Peter Whitstable the man they called the Fox Mulder of Interpol was sitting in his hotel room where he was receiving information about much bizarre occurrences occurring across the world the past few days.

The Celtic stag god Cernunnos had been spotted on a Florida golf course this past weekend drinking a bottle of Dalmore Port Wood Reserve single malt whisky and slaying a bunch of country club Republicans on the golf course with his bow and arrow.

Meanwhile in Vienna, the infernal Underworld centaur Acheronus had been seen killing diplomats with his bow and arrow at various hotels across the city.

In Canada, reports of the ghost of Albert Johnson (the man they called The Mad Trapper of Rat River) had been seen at various locales in Canada.

Johnson (who had killed 3 people) had eluded the Royal Canadian Mounted Police for more than a month in a massive manhunt that stretched across the Northwest Territories and the Yukon Territory in northern Canada.

Johnson was killed on the Eagle River in Yukon on February 17th 1932.

Johnson’s ghost had been spotted in northern British Columbia, northern Saskatchewan and northern Manitoba.

After talking with a psychic friend of his, Whitstable was told that Johnson’s ghost was headed for the town of Lucan Biddulph in southwestern Ontario.

Whitstable was also told by the psychic that the Egyptian god Thoth was currently in the town.

“What the Hell,” Whitstable wondered, “is Thoth doing in Lucan, Ontario?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 29th
2019.

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