Pan Goatee Beheads Yet Another Repulsive Fat Ugly Blimp While Demon Slek Emerges From Radioactive Swamp
The demon Slek like Pan Goatee, the ghost of John F. Kennedy, the little green frog Nimrod and the demon Asmodeus prefers beautiful women to uglos
World famous gnetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had gone for a walk after the weekend of the first major snowfall in Calgary of the autumn of 2022.
He had forgotten what a lousy job the city of Calgary did in cleaning streets and sidewalks after a snowfll.
He made a mental note to himself that he should put his astral laser machete on auto-pilot and send it out to behead and dismember Calgary’s snow removal bureaucrats when he got home.
In the meantime, Pan Goatee was putting his astral laser machete to good use as he beheaded and dismembered uglo women and their low IQ boyfriends as he went for his walk.
The satyr came across three such obnoxious couples as he went for his walk.
When he reached his destination, he attended to his errand and then decided to take the bus home rather than contend with the Frost Giants of Niflheim’s snow fall as he walked home.
When Pan boarded the bus, lo and behold, there was an extremely repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp standing right at the very front of the bus across from the driver.
Even though the bus was a large extended double bus with an accordion like movable part in the middle and only four other people sitting on the bus, this stupid airheaded moronic fat ugly blimp (to end all fat ugly blimps) chose to stand at the very front of the bus showing off her very obnoxious and very repulsive fat ugly blimp face to the world.
“You’re quite the fat ugly moron aren’t you?” Goatee commented as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp, “Standing at the very front of the bus going through a neighbourhood in which the entire city knows that Pan Goatee lives. Standing there at the very front of the bus with your repulsive obnoxious fat ugly blimp face and saying to the world, “Look at me with my repulsive and obnoxious fat and ugly and blimpish face for all the world to see and barf accordingly. I dare you to behead me.” Well I am beheading you and now I’m about to cut you up into…”
The satyr then cut up the repulsive obnoxious fat ugly blimp bitch into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x ad nauseum x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trilion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x etc. etc. x 999 trillion…
Krampus then arrived with a very big bag to pick up the remains of the repulsively ugly and super moronic fat ugly blimp and carry the bitch’s remains down to Tartarus where she’d spend all of eternity roasting away on a very large rotating barbeque spit that had been used by Polyphemus the cyclops to roast giant oxen on the island of Thrinacia.
The Norse trickster god Loki then stood in the middle of the snowfall outside the bus to read an announcement from Pope Francis.
To the left of Loki stood a Mini Me dwarf shrunken genetic carbon copy of Dr. Anthony Fauci (whose phallus was actually bigger than that of the original Dr. Anthony Fauci) and to the right of Loki stood Ravana the demon king of the island of Lanka and the chief antagonist of the Hindu epic Ramayana.
Loki read the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio’s blathering sodomite drivel, “I wish to say that the philosopher Saint Thomas Aquinas was wrong when he said that God was the Good, the True and the Beautiful. Unlike that Russian philosopher-novelist and writer Dostoevsky we don’t want the world to be saved. We want earth mother goddess Pachamama to be saved but not the world. I urge all Catholics to stop reading Thomas Aquinas immediately. After all I got an F in Thomistic logic back in the seminary. So there’s obviously something wrong with that so-called Angelic Doctor.”
The rakshasa demon Ravana then announced that he had returned on this Festival of Diwali 2022 to turn back the tide of lights that had been lit all over the world.
. . .
Menwhile in the Governor’s office in Sacramento California, that state’s Neo-Stalinist and Neo-Maoist governor Gavin Newsom was meeting with the demons Baal, Baphomet, Mammon and Mephistopheles to plan his 2024 U.S. Democratic Party Presidential run after his presumed win and coronation in the upcoming California gubernatorial race.
. . .
Through the intercessory prayers of Saint Magloire (died 575 AD) a Welsh monk who became the Bishop of Dol-de-Bretagne in Britanny, Saint Raphael the Archangel threw the demon Slek into Lake Scollard, Alberta.
Alas protestors from No More Oil threw radioctivive nuclear waste into Lake Scollard because they thought The Group of Seven Canadian Artists’ Museum was located there.
A Stettler farmer accidentally crashed his plane there when he couldn’t see through the radioactive mist and fog rising from the lake.
Slek took possession of the dead farmer’s body and rose from the lake.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday October 24th
2022.
Isabelle Rocher and The Ghost of Prof. James Moriarty
Isabelle Rocher or Brigitte Bardot?
The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London was having a photo exhibit of original photos of European actresses.
On this particular early October evening (it had been exactly 3 years since the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis had brought an idol of the demoness Pachamama into the Vatican Gardens to help open the Vatican Synod On The Amazon) it just so happened that the ghost of Prof. James Moriarty (Sherlock Holmes’ arch enemy) was wondering the streets of London.
Hades had granted Moriarty’s ghost a dispensational release from the Realm of the Underworld at the request of the demoness Pachamama.
Moriarty’s ghost noticed The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery and decided to enter.
He stared intently at a photograph of noted French actress Brigitte Bardot.
He kept saying over and over again, “Isabelle Rocher, Isabelle Rocher.”
“No,” Dashwood Forrest the owner of the gallery approached the ghostly spectral leader, “That’s Brigitte Bardot the famous French actress.”
“She looks exactly like my French mistress Isabelle Rocher,” the brilliant mathematician and criminal mastermind was astounded at the resemblance, “although I never saw her wear a skirt that looked like that. If I had, I’d have probably got hornier and had sex with her a lot sooner.”
“When did this Isabelle Rocher live?” Dashwood Forrest inquired.
“Back in the 19th Century,” Moriarty replied.
“No not many women wore skirts that looked like that back in the 19th Century,” Dashwood Forrest admitted, “save possibly women who worked in the inside of bordellos.”
“I had fled to Latin America when she told me that she was pregnant,” Moriarty recalled, “And when I returned to France, I discovered that she had given birth to a son called Louis. They left Paris and went to the French countryside somewhere. I could never track them down. I saw Louis’ baptismal certificate and she had listed the father as unknown. So I imagine he took his mother’s last name for his own. Louis Rocher would have been his name.”
“There was a famous French scientist called Dr. Louis Rocher who was shot down and killed by the Red Baron the day before the Red Baron himself was shot down and killed,” Dashwood Forrest recalled.
“The Red Baron?” Moriarty’s ghostly face looked quizzical.
“I’ll explain the history later,” Forrest was familiar with entertaining the dead as he once had had an Irish zombie named Mulligan as a manservant.
“And did this Dr. Louis Rocher have any offspring?” Moriarty inquired.
“He did,” Forrest nodded, “In fact his great- grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher is the chief scientist for Set Enterprises here in London.”
“I wonder who Louis Rocher’s wife was?” Prof. James Moriarty mused aloud.
“Sherrielock Holmes,” Forrest answered.
Moriarty’s jaw dropped, “Sherlock Holmes’ lesser known twin sister?”.
“That’s her,” Forrest nodded.
“You mean I have descendents that have both Holmes and Moriarty blood in them?” Prof. Moriarty was shocked out of his skull.
In fact Moriarty had carried his skull with him out of Hades and had now dropped it on the art gallery floor.
At that moment British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the quite literally immortal Sherrielock Holmes (she had once consumed Lingzhi supernatural mushrooms on one occasion that had made her immortal) entered the gallery.
“Prof. Moriarty!” Sherrielock exclaimed in surprise as she recognized the ghost.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 4th
2022.
Renfield Gets New Ghost Spirit Advisors For The Next Month
British MP Renfield R. Renfield dreamed that he was playing Peter Lorre’s character in the 1944 film The Mask of Dimitrios.
Renfield was rather enjoying the role as in this particular scene some beautiful dancer was rubbing against him.
He was awakened by the sound of the Set Estate guard cat Nefertiti Galore outside who was tearing apart some foreign intelligence secret agent who had been sent to assassinate Renfield.
After having ripped the assassin to shreds with her sharp feline claws, she was now meowing outside the front door demanding that Athelstan the Estate butler and valet give her a bowl of milk and a plate of tuna as a reward for her efforts.
Renfield got up from his evening nap and went downstairs.
He was shocked to see the ghosts of Orson Welles and Sir Winston Churchill (his supernatural spirit advisors) standing at the front door with their ghostly spectral luggage packed looking like they were ready to leave.
“Are you leaving?” Renfield did not want the duo to go.
“We’re just taking a tour of Europe for a month,” Welles answered as he sipped from a spectral glass of spectral red wine.
“We’ll be back if nothing happens,” Churchill smoked a spectral cigar and sipped a spectral glass of spectral brandy.
“Happens? What might happen?” Renfield inquired.
“That’s the reason why you’re being given a new pair of ghost spirit advisors for the next month,” Welles explained as he let Nefertiti Galore into the house, “Go into the living room and meet your new advisors.”
Renfield did so.
There sitting in one arm chair was the ghost of John F. Kennedy sipping a lime daiquiri and in the other arm chair was the ghost of Nikita Khrushchev downing a bottle of vodka.
It suddenly hit Renfield.
Next month was the 60th anniversary of the Cuban missile crisis.
The closest the world had ever come to a global nuclear war.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 30th
2022.
Dr. Nachash Naga’s Nightmare
NASA administrator Dr. Nachash Naga hit the roof when the launch of Artemis 1 was scrapped yet again.
As his secretary Deborah called for someone to repair the roof, Dr. Nachash Naga threw his model of the Artemis 1 rocket across the room breaking it into a million piecea.
“What went wrong?” Dr. Nachash Naga demanded to know.
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster adjusted his lobster antennae in his lobster tank at Set Enterprises in London, England in order to pick up the best imagery and audio of what he was seeing.
Michelangelo still wasn’t sure whether this was a vision or a dream.
“Well,” Nimrod the little green frog who was now serving as a special advisor to NASA (having built the Tower of Babel in man’s first attempt to reach the heavens before he wound up in a UFO crash and was later turned into a little green frog by Lilith the ancient Babylonian vampiress) spoke, “We thought we had a deal with the Greek goddess Artemis after Joe sacrificed one of his unknown daughters to her in Philadelphia before he gave his Nazi Fascist Fuhrer speech in Philadelphia that same night.”
“So what happened to that deal?” Dr. Nachash Naga sucked the life out of an apple.
“Well last night,” Nimrod explained, “someone posted a video on YouTube of senile old Joe shooting and killing a second deer sacred to Artemis last fall. Artemis saw the video and posted a comment, “I am so absolutely furious right now. The winds that stopped King Agamemnon’s fleet from sailing towards Troy are even now sucking the hydrogen out of the Atlas 1 moon rocket as we speak.” And sure enough today’s launch was postponed as a result of a hydrogen leak.”
“Bugger,” Dr. Nachash Naga swore.
“I’m sorry, I don’t do that anymore,” the ghost of Oscar Wilde said as he appeared, “I don’t know what joker in the realm of Hades sent me here as soon as you spoke that noun. I had to spend several years in Purgatory as a result of doing that in my own lifetime. As the people who are joyfully participating in tomorrow’s Sodomite Pride Parade in Calgary will discover when they cast off this earthly coil. They’ll be spending a lot of time in Purgatory. That is if they aren’t sent directly to Tartarus.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday September 3rd
2022.
Pan Goatee Beheads More Uglos and Morons While Stalin’s Saints Keep Marching On
Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was about to get off a bus.
A fellow with a stupid looking expression on his face beat him to the back door exit (the fellow was so stupid looking that Pan guessed he was probably a supporter of vaccine mandates).
Anyways when the green light went on, the fellow was too stupid to wave his hand in front of the spot that said WAVE HERE to open the door.
Goatee was finally forced to wave his hand in front of the spot while the idiot in front of him stood totally clueless.
As the idiot got off the bus and stood there looking stupid, an ugly looking woman (of the thin ugly looking stoat variety according to the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos) ran in front of Goatee to get on the bus Goatee just got off.
Goatee immediately beheaded the thin ugly stoat and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
He did the same to her moronic looking boyfriend who ran alongside her.
He beheaded the jerk with incredibly bad taste in women and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.
Goatee then went after the stupid looking idiot who did not know how to get off a bus.
“If you had known how to get off a bus, bozo, or at least stepped aside until I got off in front of you, I wouldn’t have had the misfortune of having that ugly looking creature run in front of me,” Goatee pointed out, “If you’re too stupid to know how to ride a bus, then don’t ride a bus, asshole.”
Goatee then beheaded the idiot and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.
The idiot would not be riding a bus ever again.
Goatee then rushed to get on the next bus.
A fat ugly blimp (on the Goatee Classification System of Facially Aesthetically Challenged Uglos) decided to walk past Goatee to go up to flirt with the bus driver.
The bus driver must not have been from Calgary originally because he turned down the fatso uglo’s flirtations.
The fat ugly blimp on her way to the back of the bus (where she should have stayed) found herself being beheaded by Pan Goatee and cut up into 999 trillion pieces.
Krampus the Austro-Hungarian and Bavarian demon goat arrived on the bus to carry the fat ugly blimp’s remains down to Tartarus.
“This is bringing back memories of why I’ve stopped riding the bloody Calgary Transit System,” Goatee commented, “Too many uglos and morons riding it.”
As Celine Dion used to sing, “It’s all coming back to me now…”
. . .
Celine Dion would not be singing the song My Heart Will Go On in the case of a 17-year-old Ontario hockey player Sean Hartman who died of a heart attack two weeks after receiving the vaccine jab against Covid.
Sean Hartman who had been playing hockey in Beeton, Ontario since he was 5 years old absolutely loved playing hockey.
But he wouldn’t be allowed to play hockey this season unless he got vaccinated.
So he got vaccinated and two weeks later he was dead.
At the same time, Public Health Ontario dryly released a report covering vaccination data from December 2020 to August 7th 2021 and dryly concluded “the highest reporting rate of myocarditis/pericarditis was observed in males age 18-24 years following second dose.”
. . .
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a vision of British MP Renfield R. Renfield overseeing the execution of New South Wales Chief Health Officer Dr. Kerry Chant by firing squad.
Dr. Kerry Chant was the ugly looking airhead who said, “A Covid-forever New World Order is the New Normal.”
Dr. Kerry Chant was wearing a hood over her head to prevent the firing squad from barfing all over the place which would have occurred if they saw her repulsively ugly and stupid looking face.
New South Wales would not have suffered any problems in the first place if Pan Goatee had been a citizen of that state.
Michelangelo applauded vigourously with his lobster claws as Dr. Kerry Chant was blown away to kingdom come by Renfield’s firing squad.
Meanwhile as a result of the massive vaccination campaign going on in the Neo-Maoist Neo-Stalinst Nazi Police State of Victoria in Australia, that state just got a new record of 2,297 new cases in a single day and 62.65% of those cases were among the double dosed.
Michelangelo sees people lining up to take the vaccine shot and as they do so, the Haitian Vodou spirit of Baron Samedi sings his own paraphrased version of an old New Orleans spiritual hymn,
“When Stalin’s saints come marching in,
When Stalin’s saints come marching in,
you better be, be, be in that number
When Stalin’s saints come marching in…”
Those lining up either keel over and die after getting the shot or turn into living dead zombies with their flesh falling off and wander the streets in search of brains.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 16th
2021.
Baron Samedi partying it up with a female disciple and singing, “When Stalin’s saints keep marching in…”
October 2019: Fauci Plots Release of Virus From China To Bring About A Universal mRNA Flu Vaccine
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading a report prepared by the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.
The Unit had discovered a video of a meeting that Dr. Anthony Fauci had had with HHS (the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services) back in October 2019.
Fauci and the HHS wanted to find a way to impose a universal flu vaccine on the citizens of the world.
Fauci wanted a vaccine that wasn’t really a vaccine but rather an mRNA genetic serum.
Trouble was it would probably take another 10 years before approval of mRNA testing on humans would be given.
Fauci’s solution: “We blow the system up.”
His suggestion was to disrupt the bureaucratic process and cut through all the red tape using an “entity of excitement” possibly the release of “an avian flu virus from China” that would allow them to bring in Emergency Use Authorization (EUA) of “a global RNA vaccine to be tested out on the public”.
Of course as it turned out, it wasn’t an avian flu virus from China that would be released out upon the world.
It was a bat Coronavirus virus for which Dr. Anthony Fauci had been financing Gain-of-Function research into at the Wuhan Institute of Virology.
It was for this reason that for the past year and a half Renfield had been maintaining that Dr. Anthony Fauci should be tried with Crimes Against Humanity, found guilty and then be taken out and shot by firing squad.
Renfield felt the same process should be proscribed for George Soros, Bill Gates, Klaus Schwab and Xi Jinping as well.
. . .
Zeus was having dinner with his brothers Hades (god of the Underworld) and Poseidon (god of the ocean).
“Ny son Apollo is up to something,” Zeus said as he bit into a huge slice of roast beef.
“Mermaids have been telling me that he’s worried about his son Aclepius,” Poseidon bit into a huge lobster that would have made Set Enterprises’ clairvoyant employee Michelangelo wince.
“The fallen Archangel Mephistopheles (who belongs to a race of beings even older than us Olympians or our predecessors the Titans) recently demanded that I release Asclepius from the realm of the Underworld along with the ghost of the Renaissance alchemist Dr. Johann Georg Faust,” Hades bit into a huge dish of Bavarian magic mushrooms.
“That’s interesting,” Zeus ordered a bottle of Corona beer.
“It happened once before,” Hades pulled a mushroom out of his beard.
“It did?” Zeus was quizzical.
“Yes, back in the late 1930s Mephistopheles had requsted that I release Asclepius from the Underworld,” Hades ordered some more wine.
“Faust was still alive in the 1930s, wasn’t he?” Poseidon asked.
“Yes, Faust didn’t die until 2011 when Renfield R. Renfield who was then the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering For Set Enterprises at the time hired an Irish arsonist to burn him alive until he was dead,” Hades replied.
. . .
It was May 8th 1945 and the Greek goddess Hera (Queen of Olympus) was in a cheap Bed and Breakfast room in Cornwall with the ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
Hera: So Germany has now surrendered?
Set: Yes, but I hear the American OSS (Office of Strategic Services) is now working to bring the most brilliant Nazi psychiatrists and behavioural scientists to America.
So I suspect a Fourth Reich will someday arise in America.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 9th
2021.
Is The Cure Worse Than The Disease?
“The vaccine wasn’t developed for the virus. The virus was developed for the vaccine.”
-British MP Renfield R. Renfield
While the mainstream media was busy blathering away the latest globlalist propaganda bullshit and political leaders all across the globe were coming down like the Full Adolf and the Full Stalin on their citizens, the ghosts of Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were calmly sitting in the sitting room of the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
Holmes was smoking a pipe and Watson was enjoying a spot of tea.
The two had been dispensationally released from the Underworld of Hades at the request of Anubis who was Set’s jackal-headed son.
“So, Watson, we know that back in the late 20-teens, the egotistical jackass Dr. Anthony Fauci (good friend of Bill Gates and other leading globalists) had started funding Gain-of-Function research specifically into the bat coronavirus at the Wuhan Institute of Virology. Then sometime in the late autumn of 2019/early winter of 2020 (right after the satanic antipope Jorge Mario Bergoglio had welcomed the demonic dragon/human female shapeshifting Inca earth mother goddess Pachamama into the Vatican) reports of a strange respiratory disease started surfacing in the city of Wuhan. The WHO (whose biggest funders are Bill Gates and the Chinese Communist regime in Beijing) blamed it on market stalls selling bats at a Wuhan wet market. Unbiased evidence suggests that the virus was actually released from the Wuhan Institute of Virology itself.
Now the question is, was it intentional or accidental?
Donald Trump in 2020 had ordered Operation Warpspeed against the Sars-Cov-2 Virus called Covid-19 by the pro-Communist WHO and called the Wuhan CCP Virus by intelligent people.
He had not ordered Warpspeed using regular vaccines but rather mRNA genetic serums which in 20 years of unsuccessful experiments on animals had killed off every single animal they had experimented on.
So what was good enough for animals was certainly good enough for humans as far as Big Pharma (the big pharmaceutical companies) was concerned.
Interesting Watson that pharmakeia the Greek word for pharmaceuticals is also the Greek word for sorcery as found in the Book of The Apocalypse Revelation 18:23 “For by thy sorceries were all nations deceived.”
Turning to the most recent statistics, the Vermont Department of Health (Vermont, home of Neo-Menshevik Bernie Sanders, is the most vaccinated state per capita in the American nation) has admitted that 76% of Covid deaths in Vermont the past month occurred in the fully vaccinated.
In fact the only places in the world where it is claimed according to the latest statistics (which may be damned lies in Benjamin Disraeli’s opinion) that it is the unvaccinated who are the majority in dying is in the Canadian prairie provinces of Alberta and Saskatchewan.
Much chicanery and skulduggery is going on in those provinces.
Just as Albus Dumbledore had Hermione Granger in his army, so too Voldemorte has a Hermione (last name unknown) and it is her and her disciples at work in the Canadian provinces of Alberta and Saskatchewan.
As you may not know, Watson, since you practiced medicine in a time when medicine actually was an honourable profession, these experimental gene-transfer Covid vaccines produce the loaded weapon of a toxic spike protein.
And this spike protein itself is independently pathnogenic.
So it’s possible that this “vaccine” with its independently pathnogenic spike protein is worse than the original Covid virus itself.
And it’s the pathnogenic spike protein in the Pfizer and Covid “vaccines” (genetic serums) that may in fact be the Delta variant that’s killing so many people vaccinated and unvaccinated alike.
The ghost of Orson Welles then ran an ancient film projector that showed the Nuremberg Rally of 1938 which showed a holographic image of Bill Gates being projected from the future saying, “It’s about the population control, stupid.”
This was followed by a holographic image of World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab saying, “It’s also about the Transhumanism, stupid.”
This was followed by a holographic image of Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) carrying his seminary report card prominently displaying an “F” in Latin and an “F” in Doctrinal Theology and saying, “Has anybody seen my Pachamama?”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 8th
2021.
Hera At Versailles
The Greek goddess Hera at the Palace of Versailles during the reign of the Sun King
“So,” Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague asked Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, “I hear you’re able to travel back in time using the Pantages-Houdini-Tesla-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern?”.
“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Van Helsing answered.
In his aquarium in the background, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster held up a sign that read CONFIRMED.
“So,” Marmalade read the sign, “When I fell into a time warp when I was Chief Scientist and Head Alchemist To The Court of Louis Quatorze and wound up here in the decade of the 2020s, I left an important alchemical formula on my desk in my laboratory at the Palace of Versailles. I was wondering if you could go back in time and get it for me?”.
“Why can’t you go back in time and get it yourself?” Van Helsing inquired.
“Because the Hindu god Shiva informed me while I was standing in line once at an Indian buffet restaurant in London last year that if I ever engaged in time travel again, I’d disintegrate into a pod of peas hanging from a lotus flower,” Dr. Marmalade Montague replied.
“One wouldn’t want that unless one were a vegan vegetarian Transhumanist,” Van Helsing agreed.
“I don’t know if it was because I helped myself to the last 2 dozen pieces of butter chicken from a buffet tray before the chef brought some more as I was standing in line in front of Shiva or if Shiva really meant it,” Marmalade reflected.
“Well, as J. Robert Oppenheimer might say while putting on a trojan, it’s best to be on the safe side,” Van Helsing acknowledged.
And so Van Helsing went back in time to the Palace of Versailles during the reign of Louis XIV the Sun King.
He found the laboratory but as he entered the room a cat had knocked a piece of paper off the table which seemed to have elaborate drawings and formulae on it.
The paper was then eaten by a poodle.
“I hope that wasn’t the formula for turning lead into gold,” Van Helsing mused aloud.
He then found his way to the main dining room of Versailles where he encountered the Greek goddess Hera.
The Greek goddess Hera and Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had made out on a couple of occasions.
Unbeknownst to the Greek god Zeus of course.
Otherwise Van Helsing might have disintegrated into ash as a result of having an Olympian thunder bolt thrown at him.
“Dracul,” Hera smiled at him.
“You must have time traveled from the 21st Century as well,” Van Helsing made a Holmes Sherlockian deduction, “because I never knew you during the Reign of the Sun King Louis Quatorze.”
“I did,” Hera nodded, “I time traveled from January 2021.”
“Same here,” Van Helsing stated.
“Did you know that a year ago Zeus asked Hades to release the spirit of Alexander the Great from the Underworld?” Hera inquired.
“It seems to me I heard something to that effect from the ghost of Orson Welles,” Van Helsing reflected.
“And now this January he’s asked Hades to release the spirit of the Syrian Greek King Antiochus Epiphanes (whose official title was King Antiochus IV ) from the Underworld,” Hera noted.
“Maybe Zeus is planning a major Abomination of Desolation with Pope Francis and they want Antiochus Epiphanes’ input into the matter,” Van Helsing said as a group of waiters walked by carrying trays loaded with roast pork.
“I’m so horny and frustrated by Zeus constantly ignoring me,” Hera sighed.
“Maybe I could help you with that,” Van Helsing took off his formal dinner jacket.
Soon Hera and Van Helsing were making out on top of the Royal Banquet table.
“Ah, I see they’re still setting up in here,” Louis XIV remarked to one of his mistresses as he poked his head in through the dining hall door, “Perhaps you’d like to come to my bedroom and I’ll show you my ceiling etchings of Zeus and Leto.”
At that moment the ghost of Orson Welles was bicyling backwards through time in the CERN Large Hadron Collidor Time Tunnel.
As he bicycled backwards in time through the time tunnel, the voice of Engelbert Humperdinck could be heard singing Les Bicyclettes de Belsize.
Welles’ ghost was eating a large spectral bagel as he cycled backwards through time.
Welles hoped that no one would mistake him for Hunter Biden son of Joe Biden as he was returning from Mass in the Presidential motorcade when he ordered the motorcade stopped so he could buy a bagel as he had come down with the munchies after having smoked a pipe of crack cocaine in the confessional booth.
Welles’ ghost arrived just in time to see Dracul and Hera making out on the Royal Banquet table.
“Woe is me,” Welles remarked as he drove his bicyle through the dining room window and on to the Versailles palace grounds.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 26th
2021.
The Kraken Visits Conflans-Sainte-Honorine
The Kraken known as Napoleon VI was the leader of the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party and was a sitting member of the French National Assembly.
He, along with his wife Medusa the ex-Gorgon, was currently visiting the French town of Conflans-Sainte-Honorine some 30 km (20 miles) northwest of central Paris.
They were here under sad circumstances.
To visit the College du Bois d’Aulne where a teacher at the school Samuel Paty had been beheaded yesterday by an Islamist terrorist as he walked down a street heading from the school towards his home.
Mr. Paty had been a history and geography teacher at the school and had recently given a class lecture on freedom of thought and freedom of expression with reference to Charlie Hebdo a French satirical magazine that had published cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad in 2015.
For that action, the office of Charlie Hebdo was attacked by Islamist terrorists and several members of the staff were killed.
The trial over that attack had recently begun.
Three weeks ago an Islamist terrorist had stabbed a couple of people outside the former offices of Charlie Hebdo apparently oblivious to the fact that the satirical magazine had moved to another location.
Mr. Paty had shown his class pictures of the cartoons that Charlie Hebdo magazine had published.
This made Samuel Paty a marked man.
The murderer of Mr. Paty was Abdoulakh A. an 18-year-old Chechen from Russia who lived in the Normandy town of Evreux about 100 km (62 miles) from the murder scene and had no apparent previous connection with the teacher or the school.
Apparently Abdoulakh had waited outside the school this past Friday and had asked students to identify the teacher.
He followed Mr. Paty who was walking home and attacked him, inflicting multiple wounds to his head and then beheading him.
The Islamist terrorist then posted images on social media of his victim and his severed head.
As he continued to post photos on Twitter referring to President Emmanuel Macron and the French as “infidels” and “dogs”, police approached him.
The terrorist fired at police with an airgun.
They returned fire and the terrorist was shot 9 times in all.
His subsequent demise saved the Fifth Republic of France the cost of an expensive trial.
The Kraken and Medusa talked to some of Samuel Paty’s students- current and former.
A father of one of the students had posted on Twitter “My daughter is in pieces, terrorized by the violence of such an act. How will I explain to her the unthinkable?”.
Samuel Paty had been a well-liked teacher at the school.
One of Mr. Paty’s former students Martial, 16, had said that the teacher absolutely loved his job, “He really wanted to teach us things.Sometimes we held debates in class.”
After talking to the students and laying flowers at the site where Mr. Paty was slain, the Kraken phoned his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield to discuss the growing terrorist threat in France.
Meanwhile down in the Underworld, Abdulakh A. was expecting to be rewarded with 72 dark-eyed virgins and lots of cosmic celestial sex.
Imagine his surprise when the three-headed dog Cerberus escorted him to a rotating barbeque spit over an open fire where he’d be spending his next eternity.
“Where are the 72 dark-eyed virgins that were promised me?” Abdulakh screamed as a trio of one-eyed cyclops giants tied him to the spit and began the neverending rotation.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 17th
2020.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Tartarus Bound and The Keys
September 18, 2020 at 10:22 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Cerberus, Great Reset, Italian spiritist medium Sophia de Medici, Pope Francis, Renfied R. Renfield, Sophia de Medici, The Three Headed Dog Cerberus, The Underworld of Hades, Underworld of Hades)
As the three headed dog Cerberus led the late U.S. Associate Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to her rotating barbeque spit over an open fire in Tartarus where she’d be spending her next eternity, three other figures had just been granted a one year dispensational leave from their rotating barbeque spits in Tartarus.
Pope Francis, who had actually lost the Keys of Saint Peter several years ago but didn’t bother relaying that message to Hades the Greek god of the Underworld, had communicated with the cthonic deity to release the three figures.
Bergoglio had communicated with Hades via a Rome based spiritist medium Sophia de Medici.
Sophia de Medici: Who did not feel at all threatened, sexually harrassed or lusted at by the men who worked in Pope Francis’ Vatican.
Later after the three figures arrived in Rome, Pope Francis had a Zoom conference video meeting with powerful figures from around the globe.
Meanwhile British MP Renfield R. Renfield was informing the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set that the term “Great Reset” was a globalist code word for establishing a One World Marxist Leninist government.
Earlier this week Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Ethiopian Communist who headed WHO (the World Health Organization) said that the current crisis would not end “with a vaccine but only with a total reorganization of society. We can never go back to the way things were before.”
Renfeld told Set: “That’s globalist code for freedom is permanently dead.”
The Sodom and Gomorrah admiring Italian-American physician Dr. Anthony Fauci (medical darling of the mainstream Marxist media) also talked about the need for combating climate change and for redistributing the world’s wealth (although by that he didn’t mean his own personal wealth would be available for redistribution- notation by Renfield).
Flaky Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi blamed both the CCP Wuhan virus and the California wildfires on climate change.
“Mother Earth is mad at us!” Said the San Francisco Congresswoman while sporting a Medusa serpentine hairdo.
Likewise conceited, pompous and arrogant California Gov. Gavin Newsom blamed the California wildfires on climate change.
Just as the latest California wildfire was being started by fireworks going off at a gender reveal party in the woods.
Certainly one fiery revelation to say the least!
At the Davos Forum in Switzerland earlier this year, George Soros told participants that this year must mark the start of the “Great Reset”.
Now George Soros, Bill Gates, American economist Jeffrey Sachs and U-2 singer Bono were in a Zoom video conference with Pope Francis.
“Gentlemen,” Pope Francis held his hammer and sickle crucifix given him as a gift by Evo Morales the former Marxist President of Bolivia, “I have asked Hades to release three spirits from Tartarus for an entire year to help us as we launch the Great Reset.”
The ghosts of Lenin, Stalin and Mao Tse-tung stepped forward into the room where the Unholy Father was addressing his fellow Zoom conference participants.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 18th
2020.
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