From Fay Wray Atop The Empire State Building To Elmo On Sesame Street

July 6, 2022 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Fay Wray who was originally from Cardston, Alberta, Canada played Ann Darrow who was King Kong’s love interest in the 1933 film King Kong

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was watching the 1933 film King Kong on television.

Upon hearing the line at the end of the film “It was Beauty killed the Beast”, Renfield commented, “That line would be considered politically incorrect today. It would be considered offensive to beheading victims of Pan Goatee.”

Renfield was to appear later today to give a talk to children at a London public library.

Apparently some parents had complained about Drag Queen Reading Story Hour at the library.

And last night a Drag Queen who was also a Boris Johnson impersonator read a story.

The sight of someone who looked like Boris Johnson wearing a gold evening dress, 6 inch black eyelashes and 6 inch red painted fingernails had apparently traumatized all the children present.

Someone in charge of the public library decided that it would be a good idea if this evening Renfield was invited to give a talk to children.

As Renfield arrived at the library with his friends Amadeus Emanon and Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster, a British National Health Service nurse was just finishing her talk to the children in which she said that last week Sesame Street’s Elmo had been vaccinated against Covid-19.

“How many here want to be like Elmo?” The nurse asked.

All of the children put up their hands.

Renfield whispered something to Michelangelo.

The lobster nodded and left the auditorium.

“And now dear children,” the head librarian announced, “I’d like to present a Member of the British Parliament Mr. Renfield R. Renfield.”

Renfield got up to the podium and started to sing the song I Am The Very Model of the Modern Major-General from the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta The Pirates of Penzance.

Sang Renfield,

“I am the very model of the modern Major-General
I’ve information vegetable, animal and mineral
I know the Kings of England, and I quote the fights Historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical

I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters Mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the Hypotenuse…

… I’m very good at integral and differential calculus
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous…”

At that moment an animalculous being belonging to the Nephropidae family (i.e. Michelangelo) went up to Renfield and handed him a note with his right lobster claw.

“Dear children,” Renfield addressed them with a sad and solemn expression on his face, “I’ve just been informed that an hour ago Elmo from Sesame Street died of a massive heart attack.”

All the children gasped in horror.

Renfield went on, “In Bryan Hall CJCA Radio Edmonton fashion, I’m not going to talk about the fact that what just happened to Elmo has happened to people all over the world after they’ve taken the vaccine. No, I’m not going to talk about that. I’m not going to mention, in Bryan Hall CJCA Radio Edmonton fashion, that young athletes in particular have suddenly dropped dead after taking the vaccine. No, I’m not going to mention that. Also, in Bryan Hall CJCA Radio Edmonton fashion, I’m not going to talk about the fact that the number of still births has risen dramatically in the world ever since expectant mothers were given the vaccine. No, I’m not going to talk about that. And likewise, in Bryan Hall CJCA Radio Edmonton fashion, I’m not going to mention that Israeli and UK statistics show that your chances of dying from Covid are greater if you got the vaccine than if you didn’t. No, I’m not going to mention that.”

Amadeus whispered to Renfield, “I think you’ve traumatized the children.”

“Well it’s never too early to let children know that Big Government, Big Pharma and the brainless mainstream media are a bunch of lying sons of bitches,” Renfield answered.

“Who wants to be like Elmo now?” Renfield asked the children.

No show of hands.

-A vampire novel chapter
Written by Christopher
Wednesday, July 6th
2022.

Permalink 9 Comments