Cthulhu Rising: A Poem

March 8, 2016 at 9:08 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, Mystery/horror, News, Poetry) (, , , , , , )

Cthulhu Rising: A Poem

Beneath the waters of the South Pacific
lies a place quite horrific
The underwater city of R’lyeh
where sailors dare not parley
a city inhabited by a monstrous beast
if you saw him, on you he’d feast
and drink wine fermented by yeast
The beast a mix of octopus, man and dragon
alcoholics who see him fall off the wagon
he stands hundreds of meters tall
so when he goes down, it’s quite the fall
with webbed human looking arms and legs
he has some difficulty getting at rum from kegs
a pair of rudimentary wings on its back
testified to by a hippy on crack
with octopus head and so many tentacles surrounding its mouth
it has some trouble gazing anatomically south
Simply looking upon the creature drives one insane
and your wife will then find you a first rate pain

And so on this March night in 2016
beneath the ocean was set this scene
Cthulhu arose from his sleep
rising to the surface without a peep
and feeling an oncoming attack of diarrhea
swam far to distant coasts of Syria

And there amidst his watery stool
navies of the world will play the fool
armies and forces of the air too
so will unfold a new Waterloo
but which world empire will crumble into dust
and all its military equipment left to rust
soon time will tell and all will unfold
for those left, death will seem more precious than gold

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 8th 2016.

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7/11 Day 2013

July 11, 2013 at 10:39 pm (Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“Mr. President,” the Secretary of State John Kerry addressed Barack  Obama, “we’ve got a response from the Chinese government over our strongly worded protest to them over Edward Snowden being allowed to leave the Hong Kong territory to go to Russia.”

“And what’s their response?” President Obama asked.

“Well it’s addressed to you personally sir,”  Secretary Kerry noted.

“Really?” The President looked quizzical, “What is it?”.

Secretary Kerry winced as he spoke it,  “They tell you to go —- yourself.”

“What?!” The President was livid, “How dare they?  Don’t they know that I’m the President of the United States?”.

                     *          *            *

“Of course I do,”  Chinese President Xi Jinping said as he fed a thousand year old egg to the dog under the table (a dog whose bark he did not like),  “that’s why I said it.”

The dog would never bark again.

                   *           *          *

Russian President Vladimir Putin sighed,  “The United States is becoming more and more arrogant with each passing day.  They’re treating other leaders of the world the same way Germany treated other European leaders back in the 1930s.”

                      *           *           *

Syrian President Bashar Assad looked at the document in front of him and said,  “Gentlemen, it’s time we carry out Project Asmodeus.”

None of his generals voiced disagreement.

                  *           *          *

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set looked at the unfolding chaos in Egypt being shown on the TV by BBC News and spoke to his valet, “You know Athelstan, none of this would be happening if Papa Ra had appointed me Pharaoh of Egypt instead of Osiris millennia ago.”

“Indeed, sir,”  Athelstan handed his boss a two minute boiled egg along with some toast and jam.

                 *         *          *

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was sitting inside the doctor’s office in the hospital in Bethlehem.

The Welsh werewolf was feeling somewhat sheepish.

He was here because he feared that he may have picked up a sexually transmitted disease from the town harlot- a beautiful and alluring and mysterious red headed woman who called herself Lilith.

The physician went over to the test tube filled with the penicillin and inserted a syringe.

He then took the syringe and injected Magog Rhys Petley.

And that’s how the spirit of Neb-Senu mysterious entity from planet Nibiru who had once sojourned in ancient Egypt and who had recently possessed a moving ancient Egyptian statue in a Manchester museum entered the body of Magog Rhys Petley.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
 written by Christopher
 Thursday evening
  July 11th 2013

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America’s Latest Secret Weapon

July 10, 2013 at 3:32 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“You’re looking pretty pleased with yourself,”  Amadeus remarked to Renfield.

“I’m up to my old tricks again,”  Renfield grinned,  “there’s an emergency meeting of the Russian cabinet in the Kremlin over an explosive new revelation found in the leaked Edward Snowden files.  So I hacked into the Kremlin computer and inserted my own explosive revelation.  Heh!  Heh!  Heh!”

“Renfield, what did you do?” Amadeus said as he sat down at the piano to play a little night music during the daytime.

                      .         .          .

Russian President Vladimir Putin looked pensive and concerned as did the members of his cabinet as they sat down at the large conference table in one of the Kremlin meeting halls.

“Gentlemen,” the head of Russia’s FSB Intelligence and Espionage Service spoke with great solemnity,  “I  give you America’s latest secret weapon.”

He turned on the projector and projected a large photographic image on to the screen in front of them.

Gasps of shock and horror were heard around the conference table.

“Even Ronald Reagan would never have done this,” wept a longtime Kremlin official whose years of service went back to the days of the Cold  War.

There on the screen was a larger than life photograph…

… of Arizona Sen. John McCain in the nude.

“Well,”  Vladimir Putin pushed aside his plate of caviar, “there goes my lunch.”

                     .          .              .

On the television screen was the face of CNN’s Anderson Cooper,  “Does America’s latest secret weapon involve causing people to lose their appetite?  Details on this story later tonight…”

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday afternoon 
July 10th 2013

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