Cthulhu Rising: A Poem
Cthulhu Rising: A Poem
Beneath the waters of the South Pacific
lies a place quite horrific
The underwater city of R’lyeh
where sailors dare not parley
a city inhabited by a monstrous beast
if you saw him, on you he’d feast
and drink wine fermented by yeast
The beast a mix of octopus, man and dragon
alcoholics who see him fall off the wagon
he stands hundreds of meters tall
so when he goes down, it’s quite the fall
with webbed human looking arms and legs
he has some difficulty getting at rum from kegs
a pair of rudimentary wings on its back
testified to by a hippy on crack
with octopus head and so many tentacles surrounding its mouth
it has some trouble gazing anatomically south
Simply looking upon the creature drives one insane
and your wife will then find you a first rate pain
And so on this March night in 2016
beneath the ocean was set this scene
Cthulhu arose from his sleep
rising to the surface without a peep
and feeling an oncoming attack of diarrhea
swam far to distant coasts of Syria
And there amidst his watery stool
navies of the world will play the fool
armies and forces of the air too
so will unfold a new Waterloo
but which world empire will crumble into dust
and all its military equipment left to rust
soon time will tell and all will unfold
for those left, death will seem more precious than gold
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 8th 2016.
America’s Latest Secret Weapon
“You’re looking pretty pleased with yourself,” Amadeus remarked to Renfield.
“I’m up to my old tricks again,” Renfield grinned, “there’s an emergency meeting of the Russian cabinet in the Kremlin over an explosive new revelation found in the leaked Edward Snowden files. So I hacked into the Kremlin computer and inserted my own explosive revelation. Heh! Heh! Heh!”
“Renfield, what did you do?” Amadeus said as he sat down at the piano to play a little night music during the daytime.
. . .
Russian President Vladimir Putin looked pensive and concerned as did the members of his cabinet as they sat down at the large conference table in one of the Kremlin meeting halls.
“Gentlemen,” the head of Russia’s FSB Intelligence and Espionage Service spoke with great solemnity, “I give you America’s latest secret weapon.”
He turned on the projector and projected a large photographic image on to the screen in front of them.
Gasps of shock and horror were heard around the conference table.
“Even Ronald Reagan would never have done this,” wept a longtime Kremlin official whose years of service went back to the days of the Cold War.
There on the screen was a larger than life photograph…
… of Arizona Sen. John McCain in the nude.
“Well,” Vladimir Putin pushed aside his plate of caviar, “there goes my lunch.”
. . .
On the television screen was the face of CNN’s Anderson Cooper, “Does America’s latest secret weapon involve causing people to lose their appetite? Details on this story later tonight…”
To be continued.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday afternoon
July 10th 2013
Dracul Van Helsing 