Set and Anubis Discuss The Demon Ahriman

January 27, 2023 at 10:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The London based billionaire ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire Set was having a meeting with his son Anubis the jackal headed Egy₱tian god to discuss the latter’s fact finding mission to the Middle East.

  • Said Anubis, “The ₱ersian demon Ahriman left Iran earlier this month and is now in Israel and ₱alestine to stir u₱ war between Israeli and ₱alestian. He was behind the Israeli Dee₱ State’s raid into the West Bank city of Jenin yesterday that killed nine ₱alestinians. And he was behind the ₱alestinian miltant extremist’s shooting raid on an East Jerusalem synagogue that killed seven Israelis today.”
  • “Any idea why Ahriman is trying to start a war between Israeli and ₱alestinian?” Set asked.
  • Anubis shrugged and his metallic robotic Jackal head fell off after doing so. (Anubis’ original fleshly animal jackal head had been deca₱itated sveral years ago and he had to re₱lace it with a metallic robotic head as a result much to the delight of Israeli Transhumanist ₱hiloso₱her Yuval Noah Harari).
  • After gluing his head back on with Krazy Glue, Anubis anwered Set’s question, “Although for some reason, Ahriman is in close talks with the demon Moloch.”
  • “The demon Moloch?” Set raised an eyebrow as he chewed on one of his 6 inch fingernails, “Isn’t the demon Moloch in the Kremlin in Moscow ₱osing as and ₱retending to be Saint Michael the Archangel and serving as a su₱ernatural entity advisor to Russian ₱resident Vladimir ₱utin in his invasion of Ukraine?”.
  • “That’s right,” Anubis jum₱ed 6 feet in the air after sitting on his unlucky rabbit’s foot that had 9 inch claws.
  • Set’s ₱ersonal valet and butler Athelstan called u₱ from downstairs, “Your delivery order from Lydo’s Chinese Food has just arrived, sir.”
  • Outside the house, the Lydo’s Chinese Food delivery driver could be heard singing, “Four two six five-o five-o (426-5050). If you’re hungry call the Lydo now. Free de-liveree (delivery).”
  • An unem₱loyed busker in the distance could also be heard singing, “The man they call Re-veen (Reveen)” while Harry Houkalaila the Hy₱notic Hawaiian Frog (who was discovered sitting on a lily ₱ad under a ₱alm tree on Waikiki Beach in Honolulu by a Set Enter₱rises scientific ex₱edition) ₱ut some nightingales to slee₱ with his hy₱notic ribbiting.
  • As Set and Anubis raced down the stairs to devour the delicious Chinese food from Lydo, British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield was in his room finishing off his Friday night ₱odcast, “During his tri₱ across Africa, ₱o₱e Francis will deliver 10 evil s₱eeches, 2 evil homilies and an evil Angelus address.”
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Friday January 27th
  • 2023.

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  • The A₱ostate Bisho₱ and The Ghosts of MacBeth and Lady MacBeth

    January 26, 2023 at 8:07 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

    Michelangelo the ₱sychic Lobster was in his aquarium at Set Enter₱rises Laboratories in London, England.

  • He had a ₱ack of water₱roof ₱laying cards on the aquarium floor and was ₱laying a game of underwater Solitaire.
  • From the nearby office of Set Enter₱rises Associate Scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague, the radio was ₱laying and the voice of Karen Car₱enter could be heard singing, “He’s ₱laying solitaire…”
  • Michelangelo lost yet another game of underwater Solitaire.
  • He ₱ut his ₱laying cards away and went into a trance.
  • Brought about by the ribbiting of Harry Houkalaila the Hy₱notic Frog outside the Set Enter₱rises Building.
  • While in the trance, Michelangelo had a vision of Raymond Leo Cardinal Burke and Bisho₱ Athanasius Schneider the Auxiliary Bisho₱ of Astana Kazakhstan dying suddenly.
  • As both were unvaccinated, the vaccines were not res₱onsible.
  • The mystically inclined crustacean then had a vision of the ghosts of MacBeth and Lady MacBeth walking around the Vatican dis₱ensing homicidal advice.
  • Then Michelangelo had a vision of the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio telling a television interviewer, “Murder is not a crime…”
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Thursday January 26th
  • 2023.

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  • A Most Fatal Attraction

    January 23, 2023 at 10:23 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

    Michelangelo the ₱sychic Lobster was having a vision of that scene from the 1987 film Fatal Attraction in which a rabbit is being boiled live on the stove.

  • Then a scene of Sherlock Holmes s₱eaking to Dr. Watson, “Watson, there are sinister forces that are out to kill the Water Rabbit.”
  • Dr. Watson agreed, “The year is off to a tragic start, Holmes. That mass shooting at Lunar New Year’s celebrations at that dance club in Los Angeles.”
  • Holmes nodded, “The American Dee₱ State wants total nuclear war with Russia. The satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio is starting to o₱enly bum₱ off his o₱₱onents like George Cardinal ₱ell and traditional Catholic journalist George Neumayr.”
  • “And the ghosts of MacBeth and Lady MacBeth are advising him how to do it,” Watson ₱ointed out.
  • Holmes lit his ₱i₱e, “The Water Rabbit would be safer on the moon with the Chinese lunar goddess Chang’e.”
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Monday January 23rd
  • 2023.

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  • Egy₱tian Vam₱ire Set In New York City

    December 20, 2022 at 9:36 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

  • The London based billionaire ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire Set is in New York City and ha₱₱ens to run into an old flame.
  • Set the London-based ancient Egy₱tian vam₱ire who owned Set Enter₱rises had been in New York City the ₱ast few days.
  • He had been tracking down information about the mysterious vam₱ire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky).
  • Trotsky had been turned into a vam₱ire by the Aztec vam₱ire ₱rincess Qonzilqointec back in August of 194O.
  • As a vam₱ire he had changed his name to Lev Tomi so that Josef Stalin would think he was dead.
  • 3O years ago Tomi had become the Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.
  • Using ideas given to him by nutcase New Age Gaia worshi₱₱ing Canadian businessman Maurice Strong (a good friend and acquaintance of Canada’s Marxist-Leninist former ₱rime Minister ₱ierre Elliot Trudeau) who was the Chairman of the 1992 Rio de Janeiro Earth Summit, Tomi embarked on a 3O year ₱lan ₱ro₱aganda effort to convince the not-so bright ₱o₱ulace of the Western world that man made CO2 emissions were res₱onsible for climate change.
  • In that ₱ro₱aganda effort, Tomi was 99% successful.
  • Although much of the credit should also be given to ₱ublic education school boards and local teachers’ unions who had managed to successfully fulfill British writer, journalist, humourist and essayist Malcolm Muggeridge’s ₱ro₱hecy of successfully overeducating their students into imbecility.
  • In January 2O21, senile old fool Joe Biden had gone one better than the 2OO5 Hurricane Katrina rioting looters and the 1992 Los Angeles Riots rioting looters by actually managing to successfully steal the White House. No doubt Joe Biden would have ₱robably said to the Hurricane Katrina looters and the LA riots looters, “You folks ain’t black enough.”
  • That same month of January 2O21, senile old fool Biden had named Lev Tomi the Chief of Staff of the U.S. Armed Services.
  • In Se₱tember 2O22, Lev Tomi had also been named the Commander-In-Chief of NATO forces in Eastern Euro₱e.
  • After having gone to the UN building in New York City and having obtained all this information about Lev Tomi from talking to a Mexican Communist UN di₱lomat successfully ₱lastered on ₱atron Tequila, Set left the di₱lomat with his half a bottle and half a worm and walked back to his hotel in New York City.
  • While walking back to his hotel, Set ha₱₱ened to encounter an old flame.
  • A woman he had met on a tri₱ he had taken to New York City back in 1925.
  • The woman had been a rising young Broadway starlet whom he had turned into a vam₱iress.
  • The woman was still a Broadway starlet exce₱t every 10 years she had to re-invent herself.
  • . . .
  • The satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio was sitting in his study.
  • He had just sent an emissary to Qatar to sign an interfaith religious dialogue agreement with the demon ₱azuzu who had shown u₱ in the kingdom just after Bergoglio’s home country of Argentina had just been ₱resented with the 2022 FIFA World Cu₱.
  • Bergoglio then turned his attention to a dart board he had set u₱ on an old Crucifix.
  • On the dartboard was a ₱hoto of Father Frank ₱avone the U.S. National Director of ₱riests For Life that he had just defrocked from the ₱riesthood not for seducing altar boys or fellow ₱riests or nuns like so much of the Francis ins₱ired clergy in the Catholic world but for devoting so much time to the ₱ro-Life cause.
  • . . .
  • British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Tuesday night ₱odcast.
  • He wore a t-shirt that said “TRAD” CATHOLICS WHO SAY FRANCIS IS DEFINITELY ₱O₱E ARE DEFINITELY IDIOTS.
  • When he had finished with the satanic Anti₱o₱e Jorge Mario Bergoglio, Renfield then went on to discuss the subject of Canada’s effeminate metrosexual Mini Me version of the late Soviet dictator Josef Stalin better known as Justin Castro Trudeau.
  • Said Renfield, “Scumbag Justin Trudeau is once again showing what a tyrant he is in excer₱ts from CTV National News’ year end interview with him in Toronto. In the interview, Fidel Castro’s bastard son shows that he is little more than a ₱iece of feces that has fallen from the anus of Sauron the lord of the rings.”
  • And Renfield said that with all due res₱ect.
  • -A vam₱ire novel cha₱ter
  • written by Christo₱her
  • Tuesday December 20th 2022.

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  • Egyptian Vampiress Isis and The 60th Anniversary of The Opening of Vatican II

    October 11, 2022 at 9:54 pm (Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Religion, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    The Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis attending an interreligious dialogue in Alexandria, Egypt

    Isis, the great Egyptian vampiress who was worshipped as a goddess and venerated as the queen of the Egyptian deities, was attending an interreligious dialogue in Alexandria, Egypt.

    Isis, along with her husband Osiris and her son Horus, was also venerated and worshipped in most upper level Freemasonic degree Temples around the world.

    Another entity/being who was also worshipped and venerated in most upper level Freemasonic degree Temples around the world was an entity/being called Lucifer.

    Lucifer was also called the Devil and occasionally Satan (although Satan as a title was also used for the ancient Hebrew angel of death whose official name was Samael).

    Isis had never met Lucifer although she knew of him.

    It was said of Lucifer that he was the most beautiful and most intelligent of all angels created by God – the God who was the Supreme Being and the Creator of the Cosmos.

    It was said that Lucifer became overcome with pride and he led a rebellion of one/third of the angels against God.

    Lucifer was apparently thrown out of the heavens by Saint Michael the Archangel.

    But Isis had never met Lucifer.

    Nor had most of the deities of the ancient pagan pantheons (Zeus, Odin, the Celtic god Lugh etc.) ever met Lucifer.

    Contrary to popular opinion, Lucifer did not bother much with humanity being the supreme intellectual snob that he was.

    He allowed his immediate subordinates Baal, Baphomet, Mammon, Mephistopheles and Moloch to deal with humanity.

    Always following his (Lucifer the Devil’s) commands and directives of course.

    Lucifer occasionally possessed people throughout history.

    Judas Iscariot probably being the most famous person he possessed after Judas invited him in when Judas decided to betray Christ.

    And someday he would possess the body of the Antichrist.

    One of Lucifer’s greatest amusements this century was to allow a supreme demon of stupidity to possess Pope Francis.

    So Francis came across as being both an idiot and satanic.

    The same held true for Joe Biden.

    In Joe’s case, a lesser demon of stupidity (also the patron demon of outhouses and toilet bowls) possessed him.

    Likewise making Joe come across as being both an idiot and satanic.

    There were occasions when the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles had to take possession of Joe when it was absolutely necessary for Joe to say something intelligent in public (which was of vital importance for the Supreme Council of Demons and Fallen Angels and their human subordinate agency of global elitists called the World Economic Forum that he do so).

    As Isis stood receiving acts of fealty and homage at the Interreligious Dialogue in Alexandria, Egypt

    The incredibly beautiful and extremely young looking vampiress reflected that on this date October 11th 2022 that it was exactly 60 years ago today (on October 11th 1962) that the Second Vatican Council opened under the then pontiff Pope John XXIII.

    John XXIII was surrounded by advisors who were Freemasons.

    And Freemasons and Isis were wanting the Catholic Church to worship Osiris, herself (Isis) and Horus.

    The Freemasons were wanting the Catholic Church to worship Lucifer as well.

    Of course according to Protestant Fundamentalists, the Catholic Church already worshipped Isis, Osiris and Horus due to the influence of a book called The Two Babylons by Alexander Hislop written and published in the 19th Century.

    Of course the Free Church of Scotland minister Hislop got his information for his book from a spirit who visited him in a dream (hardly a credible source).

    That diary entry of Hislop’s is unknown to most of his book’s supporters who regard the inaccurate history and inaccurate scholarship in The Two Babylons as divinely inspired.

    But Isis and Freemasonry wanted the Catholic Church to really worship herself (Isis), her husband Osiris and her son Horus.

    And with the onset of Vatican II, it looked like the possibility now loomed on the horizon.

    And with the advent of the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis), the Isis, Osiris and Horus Freemasonic ship (captained by the ghost of the medieval pirate Baldassarre Cossa who reigned as the medieval AntiPope John XXIII in Pisa from 1410 to 1415) had finally come in.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Tuesday October 11th
    2022.

    Permalink 11 Comments

    Athelstan The Valet Listens To Portions of Renfield’s Podcast

    September 22, 2022 at 11:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

    The Greek goddess Hera listens to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Thursday night podcast.

    She was horrified by the possibility that Russian President Vladimir Putin might launch a nuclear attack on the West.

    Renfield seemed to have insider information from Russia as well as knowing the contents of the Third Secret of Fatima (whose text the Vatican claimed to have released back in 2000 but they lied. They only released a vision associated with the secret not the secret itself).

    Hera decided she must do something.

    She didn’t want to see the destruction of planet Earth.

    She got in touch with the Byzantine vampiress Theodora who in her mortal life had been the Byzantine Empress Theodora the wife of the Byzantine Emperor Justinian I.

    Theodora had been turned into a vampiress on June 28th 548 AD by the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith.

    Otherwise Theodora would have died from cancer.

    “Hello,” Theodora picked up her phone at her estate in Athens, Greece.

    . . .

    Senile old fool Joe Biden was not listening to Renfield’s Thursday night podcast.

    He was sniffing the needles on his marijuana smoking cactus planet which inhaled marijuana cigarettes and then exhaled marijuana smoke.

    Biden believed the cactus needles were the hair of The Woman In Green.

    The Woman In Green was the name of a 1945 Universal Pictures Sherlock Holmes film with Basil Rathbone as Holmes and Nigel Bruce as Dr. Watson that he watched on late night television last night.

    “Mr. President,” one of his aides entered the Oval Office.

    “Ow,” Joe pricked his nose on a cactus needle, “What is it?”.

    “The wealthy residents of Martha’s Vineyard are once again complaining about immigrants being sent there,” his aide said.

    “Who’s sending immigrants this time?” Biden wiped his nose with a used diaper, “Ron DeSantis or Greg Abbot?”.

    “Greg Abbott the Governor of Texas,” his aide answered, “But this recent batch of immigrants are different. These are zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors recently raised from the dead in Mexico by a South African witch doctor at the behest of the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec who’s the goddaughter of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl (whom Utah Sen. Mitt Romney being Mormon thinks is the person of Jesus Christ when he visited the Americas according to Mormon teaching).”

    “Why did Qonzilqointec send these zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors across the Mexico-U.S. border anyways?” Biden asked. “And does this Qonzilqointec have nice hair? Is it worth sniffing?”.

    “Qonzilqointec is very beautiful, she does have nice hair and it probably is worth sniffing,” his aide explained.

    “This new King Charles III of England was quite cranky when I sniffed the flowers on his mother’s coffin quite intently as the cameras looked away,” Biden recalled, “He asked me what the Hell I was doing? It was quite sad that it was a closed casket funeral. I quite enjoyed sniffing Her Majesty’s hair when she was alive. I wonder if…”

    “Mr. President, to answer your 1st question,” his aide interjected, “The reason Qonzilqointec sent these living dead Aztec warriors across the border was to re-annex parts of the U.S. to a revived Aztec Empire.”

    “But I don’t think Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts was ever part of the Aztec Empire,” Joe Biden reflected.

    “It is now,” another aide entered the room.

    . . .

    Athelstan the butler and valet to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was doing his daily housecleaning duties around the Set Estate mansion.

    British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who lived in the mansion) was doing his Thursday night podcast from his bedroom.

    Athelstan occasionally listened in before going on to his next cleaning job.

    As he passed the room, he heard Renfield say, “They are a bunch of Belgian waffles who have fruits all over them…”

    “Is Renfield talking about breakfast?” Athelstan asked Amadeus Emanon as he walked by.

    “No,” Athelstan shook his head, “I think he’s talking about the Belgian Conference of (supposedly) Catholic Bishops who have voted to approve blessing gay unions.”

    Athelstan dusted Set’s statue of Napoleon.

    He walked by Renfield’s room where he heard Renfield say, “The Vatican is a Communist craphole…”

    When he finished dusting Set’s nude statue of Pauline Borghese as Venus Victrix, he passed Renfield’s room again where Renfield asked, “What does Joe Biden have in common with the Vatican?”.

    When he had finished dusting the statue of Queen Cleopatra, again he passed Renfield’s room where Renfield said, “Meanwhile in other news, U.S. Vice-President Kamala Harris is bitching that a group of zombie 15th Century Aztec warriors have taken over her house…”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Thursday September 22nd
    2022.

    Permalink 14 Comments

    Pan Goatee Beheads Uglos At Bus Stop As Demon Buffalo Watches

    September 7, 2022 at 10:25 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

    It was a very peculiar mist in the city.

    It came out of nowhere and started eating people.

    As if it was an invisible man-eating plant turned to low-lying mist.

    Eugenicist billionaire Bill Gates was travelling in the city incognito.

    He had heard there were all sorts of weird genetic and breeding experiments going on in the city.

    He was puzzled by the mist.

    “I must look into this further,” he mused.

    His limousine pulled up and he got in.

    Nearby the world-famous genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was about to enter a donut shop.

    As he looked through the window, he noticed a really repulsive looking uglo sitting there with her little brat.

    The satyr decided not to enter the donut shop.

    Instead he went to a bus stop to take the bus home.

    As he stood there waiting for the bus to show up, Pan Goatee noticed the repulsive looking uglo with her little brat leaving the donut shop.

    The repulsive looking uglo and her little brat then crossed the street and started walking in the direction of the bus stop.

    “Don’t tell me that the repulsive looking uglo and her little brat are headed towards this bus stop,” Goatee said.

    “All right, I won’t tell you that,” Krampus picked his nose while waiting to pick up the remains of what would most likely be the satyr’s latest uglocide and bratocide.

    Krampus was quite correct.

    Pan threw his astral laser machete at the obnoxious duo.

    The machete beheaded the repulsive looking uglo and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

    It then beheaded the uglo’s brat and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

    Krampus had already packed up the remains and put them in his sack for delivery to Tartarus by the time the bus arrived.

    As the bus pulled up, two fat ugly looking blimps then proceeded to get off the front of the bus.

    “You may not want to leave just yet,” the Demon Buffalo remarked to Krampus as the former, in cannibalistic Italian film festival fashion, ate a buffalo flavoured popsicle and the latter was just about to enter the multidimensional portal to take him to Tartarus.

    Sure enough Pan Goatee beheaded both fat ugly blimps and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces each.

    He then decided not to get on that bus and instead took a bus headed the opposite direction.

    The Demon Buffalo joined the satyr on that bus and sat next to him.

    As the Demon Buffalo worked on a crossword puzzle, he asked Pan, “I gather those four uglos you beheaded at that bus stop back there were genetically created by the Spirit Great-Grandmother of the West (leader of the Circle of Spirits so beloved by Pope Francis and his Canadian Catholic hierarchy) using interbreeding between walruses and sasquatch?”.

    “That is correct,” Pan nodded.

    Eventually after taking the long way around, the satyr got home.

    Later he decided to go to a nearby grocery store to see if they had finally brought in the particular brand of cold meats that he loved.

    Pan hoped they weren’t being permanently replaced by Bill Gates recommended bugs and insects.

    Tonight they were in so Pan bought a few packages.

    He walked to a bus stop to take the bus home.

    He stood at the bus stop enjoying the evening air.

    When lo and behold, another repulsive looking uglo (this one of the caucasian and not aboriginal First Nations variety) decided to show up showing her ugly face for the world to admire.

    Pan did not feel any admiration for her facially aesthetically challenged face as can be seen by the fact that he beheaded her and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

    Goatee once again took a bus headed in the opposite direction.

    The Demon Buffalo once again sat next to Pan while holding a copy of the latest edition of the Serial Killers’ Almanac that he had been reading.

    “I take it,” the Demon Buffalo commented while reading up on the serial killing statistics for Iceland, “that the uglo you beheaded back there was part of the experimental genetics program being overseen by the Norse trickster god Loki and Dr. Anthony Fauci involving interbreeding between female stoats and moronic low IQ human males?”.

    “That is correct,” Pan nodded.

    . . .

    Ever since Thursday September 1st 2022 (the 83rd anniversary of the Nazi invasion of Poland) in which senile old fool Joe Biden had sacrificed a previously unknown (to him) daughter named Liberty to the Greek goddess Artemis (in an effort to save NASA’s latest moon rocket program) and then gave a Nazi fascist Stalinist Evil Galactic Empire speech in Philadelphia, Joe was being advised by the ghosts of both Josef Stalin and Adolf Hitler.

    On that fatal (for Liberty) morning of Thursday September 1st 2022, the ghosts of Theosophist leaders Helena Petrovna Blavatsky, Annie Besant and Alice A. Bailey had negotiated a peace treaty and a renewed Nazi-Soviet Pact between the ghosts of Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin.

    The man selected to enforce this renewed Nazi-Soviet Pact on the world was senile old fool Joe Biden.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    written by Christopher
    Wednesday September 7th
    2022.

    Permalink 24 Comments

    Greek Goddess Hera and Samhain Cardinal Salaman

    September 5, 2022 at 9:40 pm (Art History, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

    The Greek goddess Hera was modelling at a fashion show in Rome, Italy

    Bothered by the infidelity of her chronically unfaithful husband the Greek god Zeus, Hera was trying to gain some self confidence by modelling among the most beautiful women in the world at a fashion show in Rome.

    Among the guests who would be attending the fashion show was Samhain Cardinal Salaman.

    Cardinal Salaman was one of the few heterosexual Cardinals to work in Pope Francis’ Vatican which had been described by one commentator as “one vast uncloseted closet of gays”.

    The Grindr hook-up app was the most downloaded app in the Vatican today.

    Pope Alexander VI (aka Rodrigo Borgia) was turning over in his rotating barbeque spit down in Tartarus over the news that his Vatican of intense heterosexual lust and orgies had become a Vatican of intense homosexual lust and orgies under Pope Francis.

    Samhain Cardinal Salaman was anxious to see real women for a change rather than the fairy queens who paraded up and down the halls of the contemporary Vatican.

    Although according to members of Joe Biden’s cabinet and the brainless mainstream media there was no such being as a real woman anymore.

    Samhain Cardinal Salaman was impressed by Hera’s performance on the catwalk in this early September Roman fashion show.

    After the show was over, he went backstage to the dressing rooms to talk to the Olympian goddess.

    “Excuse me but aren’t you the Greek goddess Hera?” Samhain Cardinal Salaman asked her.

    Hera the beautiful goddess (often left alone by the “always searching for a new pussy” Zeus) turned to look at him.

    “I am,” she answered, “Aren’t you Samhain Cardinal Salaman the only heterosexual Cardinal who works full time at the Vatican?”.

    Later that evening the Cardinal and the goddess had dinner and wine together in an exclusive Rome restaurant.

    “So how did you recognize me?” Hera asked the Cardinal.

    “From your busts, statues and portraits that are kept in the lower floors of the Vatican,” Samhain answered, “At one time they were on the main floor of the Vatican but after Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elected Pope, all those works of art were moved downstairs and replaced by all the busts, naked statues and nude portraits of the ancient Greek gods. No goddesses allowed.”

    “It’s a wonder why Francis has not commissioned new works of art for the Vatican that are inclined towards his tastes,” Hera licked a pair of olives from her martini.

    “Well it was tried once with a notorious Australian male model named Uncle Ernie (who had posed for Salvador Dali back in the 1950s). Uncle Ernie served as the model for a nude Goliath. However after the world’s first microscope, invented by Dutch father and son team Hans and Zacharias Janssen in 1590 and kept in the Vatican Archives, was broken after the papal investigation team tried to locate something that was apparently far far less than gargantuan on Uncle Ernie posing as Goliath’s statue, a new work of art was never commissioned again,” Cardinal Salaman explained.

    “Interesting,” Hera swallowed the olives.

    They got around to discussing the recently failed Artemis 1 moon rocket launches.

    “I’ve been told they failed because Artemis is furious that Joe Biden apparently killed at least two of her sacred deer on a deer hunting expedition last fall,” Cardinal Salaman ate his spaghetti.

    “That is true,” Hera nodded, “Originally Artemis just thought that one of her sacred deer was slain. So senile old fool Joe sacrificed a daughter from an extra marital affair to Artemis last Thursday in Philadelphia. Just before Joe gave his Hitlerian Fuhrer like speech (with Nazi flag colours in the background behind him) in Philadelphia in which he threatened to send the military after half of the electorate in the country. ”

    “Yes, I heard that Joe did such a good job at impersonating a Hitler under the influence of alcohol and an Henry VIII style over indulgence in roast beef (the original Fuhrer was both a teetotaler and a vegetarian) that apparently an independent film producer is thinking of making a film in which both Joe Biden and Justin Trudeau will have the lead starring roles,” Cardinal Salaman noted, “The movie will be about Adolf Hitler meeting Jesse Owens at the 1936 Summer Olympics.”

    “Yes, I heard that too,” Hera smiled.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Monday September 5th
    2022.

    Permalink 44 Comments

    Pope Francis Adopts Witches’ Calendar To Promote Season of Creation

    September 1, 2022 at 10:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, Vampire novel, witchcraft) (, , , , , , , , , )

    Samhain Cardinal Salaman was reading the latest directives from Pope Francis.

    Pope Francis was ordering that all Vatican linked institutions must turn over their accounts to the Vatican Bank by October 1st 2022.

    “What’s up with that?” Cardinal Salaman wondered.

    He then read a report from a Vatican Jesuit spy in Washington DC.

    According to the Vatican Jesuit spy, Joe Biden sacrificed some unknown young woman to a statue of the Greek goddess Artemis while a NASA big shot named Dr. Nachash Naga sang the Leonard Cohen song Hallelujah.

    “I think that particular Jesuit spy must be eating too many magic mushrooms,” Cardinal Salaman sipped his coffee.

    He then read another directive from Pope Francis.

    Francis had just proclaimed a new season called the Season of Creation which runs from September 1st to October 4th.

    Interestingly enough the Southern Hemisphere Spring/Northern Hemisphere Autumn Equinox falls smack dab in the middle of the Season of Creation.

    Which leads one to speculate that Pope Francis had borrowed his idea for a Season of Creation from the witches’ wiccan calendar.

    Francis seemed to be heavy into practicing witchcraft these days.

    A number of years back he had opened a Catholic World Youth Day by carrying a witch’s stang into the assembly.

    Back on October 4th 2019 the Pontiff presided over a ceremony in which an idol of the Inca demon goddess Pachamama was brought into the Vatican.

    Then on July 27th 2022, Francis listened with his hand over his heart as a Huron-Wendat shaman invoked the Spirit Great Grandmother of the West who was the leader of the Circle of Spirits.

    The Spirit Great Grandmother was known by various names such as Spider Grandmother in Navajo, Hopi, Apache and Pueblo traditions. She was the pre-Columbian Teotihuacan Great Goddess. She was called Toci Yoalticitl by the Aztecs. She was called Ixchel by the Mayas.

    Samhain Cardinal Salaman fell asleep and dreamed he was visiting a misty marsh he often visited in his boyhood.

    In the middle of the misty marsh was a vampiress witch who was celebrating Pope Francis’ new Season of Creation.

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Thursday September 1st
    2022.

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    North By Northwest: Red August of The Sturgeon Moon

    August 11, 2022 at 10:19 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

    Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint in Alfred Hitchcock’s 1959 film North By Northwest

    Alfred Hitchcock’s 1959 film North By Northwest starring Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint is a tale of spies, danger and intrigue.

    And Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was in his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises watching the film on his waterproof 72 inch widescreen flat screen TV.

    Why was Michelangelo watching this film on this night of all nights?

    Therein hangs a tale.

    Quite possibly a fish tale (fish tail).

    Tonight was the night of the full moon- the August full moon – called the Sturgeon Moon.

    It is said among fishermen that the best night to catch sturgeon was on the night of the Sturgeon Moon (the August full moon).

    Interestingly enough tonight’s full moon- the August Sturgeon Moon- will be the last supermoon of this year.

    This Sturgeon Moon will be the fourth supermoon in a row after the Buck Moon in July, Strawberry Moon in June and Flower Moon in May.

    A celestial meteor shower will also be seen tonight in conjunction with this year’s last Supermoon.

    Anyhow since tonight’s full moon is a Sturgeon Moon (and a Sturgeon Supermoon at that) and it is said among fishermen that the best night to catch sturgeon was on the night of the Sturgeon Moon, Michelangelo’s employer the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set decided to go fishing in Canada’s Northwest to catch sturgeon.

    And it was then that Renfield mentioned the film North By Northwest to Michelangelo.

    So Michelangelo was watching the movie.

    In the film version that Michelangelo was watching, the film’s villain Phillip Vandamm (played by James Mason) says, “One day our side of the Cold War will take over the American FBI.”

    . . .

    The United States’ Neo-Bolshevik Communist Attorney-General Merrick Garland was holding a press conference discussing the Neo-Bolshevik Communist FBI raid on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate.

    As he took questions, he was suddenly confronted by the ghost of famous American criminal trial lawyer and defense attorney Johnnie Cochran.

    Said Cochran to Garland,

    “You’re a Marxist-Leninist man
    Who belongs in the nearest trash can
    Mark my words
    You pile of turds
    The day of reckoning is soon at hand
    And you won’t have a leg to stand
    You’re always seeking to intimidate
    Cause you have no tool to use to masturbate …”

    . . .

    At the Vatican, Pope Francis was looking flashed and flushed after having spent the day meeting with members of Rome’s transvestite transexual prostitute community.

    This was the fourth time this year that the pontiff had met with the group.

    A statement issued from the Vatican Press Office said that Pope Francis was offering spiritual comfort to them.

    Now Pope Francis was getting his daily briefing of world events from one of his Jesuit aides.

    When the aide had finished, Francis directed him to “find out which entity it was who had hired the ghost of Johnnie Cochran to act as Donald Trump’s ghostly defense attorney.”

    -A vampire novel chapter
    Written by Christopher
    Thursday August 11th
    2022.

    Permalink 8 Comments

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