Pachamama and The Vicar of Cthulhu and Mitlantecuhtli

February 11, 2020 at 11:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Pachamama and The Vicar of Cthulhu and Mitlantecuhtli

Cthulhu a Great Old One
lying in his lair 
in the city of R’lyeh
an underwater city in the South Pacific

Desiring Hong Kong
He battled for control last year
with the Black Dragon
Supernatural entity behind Xi Jinping’s Communist throne
Cthulhu backed the student protestors 
The Black Dragon backed the authorities and Hong Kong police

Time to take a different tack 
Cthulhu who entered the minds of men and women in their dreams 
Making them nightmares 
With his mind contacted Mitlantecuhtli Lord of the Land of the Dead 
Whose realm lay below Aztec ruins in Mexico 

Mitlantecuhtli the deity of death
Who wore a necklace of human eyeballs 
was associated with owls, spiders and bats 

Cthulhu made mental contact 
And offered a quid pro quo 
Mitlantecuhtli accepted 
And visited a cave of bats in China

It was Dr. Li Wenliang, 34, an ophthalmologist (a doctor specializing in the study of the human eye) who first alerted his fellow medics 
About the outbreak of the Coronavirus in Wuhan, China
And for this, he was harassed by police and authorities
Dr. Li himself died on February 7th 2020 
in a hospital bed from the Coronavirus

A Chinese government team found a cave of bats not far from Wuhan 
who apparently have the virus (now sending the world in a panic)

How did the virus get from the cave to Wuhan?
The Huanan Seafood Market in Wuhan 
Some say
A story that first fell from the lips of Mephistopheles
Demon in charge of racism and promoting ethnic hatred
So now East Asians in the Western world are harassed and attacked

Ancient deities also have plenty of allies in government and industry 
Willing to spread death for both profit and power 

A western leader with a toupee the colour of General Custer’s yellow hair
Might see a deadly plague hitting an economic enemy 
As a major advantage in a nasty trade war

A megalomaniac in Beijing 
who claims to act for the “People”
But acts like an ancient god-emperor only serving the needs of his own divine self 
Might have done it to his own people 
for whatever nefarious purpose 
had surfaced in his own twisted mind 

Big pharmaceuticals
And biological warfare units of army 
Might have come together in
some synthesis of Hegelian dialectic 
being played out on the non-philosophical plain

Or those behind the Georgia Guidestones who want the population of Earth 
reduced to 500 million 
might have initiated the first throw of the dice to that effect

Columbia University economist Jeffrey Sachs is a population control and reduction freak
Only in this way can sustainable development be achieved he says
And so the Communists at the UN and Vatican agree

7 years ago today Benedict XVI announced his impending resignation 
As Vicar of Christ
And a man named Jorge Mario Bergoglio took over 
And made it the office of Vicar of Cthulhu and Mitlantecuhtli 
Tomorrow he releases the Apostolic Exhortation on the Amazon Synod
And Pachamama earth mother goddess of the Incas
Is in the arms and under the wings of Mitlantecuhtli the Aztec lord of the dead
And in her own arms she holds the hourglass of time 
Through which the grains of sand of humanity are running out

-A poem and vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 11th
2020.

Permalink 22 Comments

False Prophets, Peace Deals, Pachamama and Sensuous Qonzilqointec

January 28, 2020 at 11:48 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

False Prophets, Peace Deals, Pachamama and Sensuous Qonzilqointec

A group of Jesuit assassins at the Vatican sat around drinking strawberry daiquiris and Pink Lady cocktails as they waited for their pink fingernail polish to dry before going out for a night on the town.

They were tuned in to BBC Radio where British MP Renfield R. Renfield was being interviewed.

The interviewer was asking Renfield about Uruguayan priest Father Gonzalo Aemilius whom Pope Francis had just named his new personal secretary.

“Well of course Father Gonzalo doesn’t dress like a priest,” Renfield noted, “and he’s someone who’s got the looks of a tennis instructor who would be hired by bored sexually frustrated middle-aged wealthy women who were looking for tennis and other types of encounters.”

“So what are you saying exactly?” The interviewer asked.

“Expect to see a lot of late night stenography sessions going on in the papal residence at the Vatican,” Renfield answered.

“What do we know about Father Gonzalo Aemilius?” The interviewer inquired.

“Well, he replaces the Argentine priest Father Fabian (sounds like the name of a Harlequin historical romance novel cover shirtless and topless male model) Pedacchio who worked alongside the Pope from 2013 to 2019 and who returned last December to his original post at the Congregation of Bishops. Of course Father Fabian Pedacchio just turned 55 last year and as my Welsh parliamentary colleague Morgana’s personal hairdresser Leo noted, “He’s a man who’s really lost his looks the past couple of years.” Now Father Pedacchio is being replaced by Father Gonzalo Aemilius who’s a “rugged handsome 40-year-old” to again quote my Welsh parliamentary colleague Morgana’s personal hairdresser Leo. ”

“Anything else about Father Gonzalo Aemilius?” The interviewer queried.

“Well, I’ll read you what the official Vatican News agency said about his appointment,” Renfield replied.

Renfield then read the excerpt in a voice that sounded like a cross between Hollywood Squares celebrity panelist Paul Lynde and American writer Truman Capote, “Father Aemilius was born in Montevideo on 18th September 1979 and was ordained a priest on 6th May 2006. His face may be familiar to many because he is the one, who the Pope greeted and summoned to him when he was part of the crowd gathered outside a Vatican gate to welcome Pope Francis at the beginning of his pontificate on the morning of 17th March 2013. He recognized him and invited him to accompany him into the church where he was about to celebrate his first Mass with the faithful after his election. At the end of the liturgy, Pope Francis introduced Father Aemilius to all those present, asking them to pray for him and for his work with street children.”

The phone rang in the office of the Jesuit assassins.

It was the Jesuit assassin whose fingernail polish had fully dried who picked up the phone.

“It’s the boss,” said the Jesuit assassin, “He wants to know who will rid him of this troublesome British MP.”

. . .

At the White House today, U.S. President Donald Trump stood alongside Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and announced the Jared Kushner Peace Deal of the Century.

The map of the new Palestinian state that Trump proposed seemed to resemble a salamander.

The sort of salamander as on a 19th Century U.S. Congressional District map that gave rise to the term gerrymandering.

Interestingly enough at about the same time as Trump made his announcement, Hades the Greek god of the Underworld had granted temporary dispensational releases from his realm to the ghosts of Israel’s King Solomon, Hiram the King of Tyre and also Hiram Abiff the architect and master mason (who had once been possessed by the spirit of the Egyptian god Osiris) who had helped build Solomon’s original Temple in Jerusalem.

. . .

In the Caribbean, the scarlet red dress wearing Inca goddess Pachamama riding a 7-headed beast had caused a powerful 7.7 magnitude earthquake that hit between Jamaica, the Cayman Islands and Cuba at a depth of 10 kilometres (6.2 miles).

. . .

Meanwhile in her apartment in Mexico City, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec greeted Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing as he walked through the door:

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Tuesday January 28th
2020.

Permalink 8 Comments

Pachamama and The Spectre of Teilhard: The Devil Wore A Collar and Cassock

January 23, 2020 at 8:04 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Pachamama and The Spectre of Teilhard: The Devil Wore A Collar and Cassock

“I order all priests in this country to stop preaching on Hell.”
-Reinhard Cardinal Marx,
Archbishop of Munich,
Chairman of the German Bishops’
Conference 
(who’s obviously tired of being reminded of his post-life destination)

Former British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley was once again setting up his London private eye office with former British Conservative MP Agathor Christie (both men had once again failed to be re-elected to Parliament in last month’s General Election).

Magog suddenly noticed he got an email from the man who was their tour guide throughout the rainforest jungles of the Amazon last summer.

The failed parliamentary and equally unsuccessful private eye duo had been hired last year to find out who was causing the Amazon rainforest fires that were burning out of control last summer.

They had failed to do so but had sent a bill for their services to Lev Tomi (the Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change) anyway.

The email contained a photo taken by an Inca Quechua indigenous woman living in Peru last summer.

The photo showed the disembodied flaming head of a Jesuit priest emitting fire from his hair and setting fire to trees.

Coincidentally Magog’s partner Agathor Christie was getting a photo emailed to him from British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

The photo taken by an acquaintance of Renfield who was currently in Australia (rescuing koalas, kangaroos and other wildlife from the current wildfires) showed the disembodied flaming head of the same Jesuit priest emitting fire from his hair and setting fire to Australian trees.

. . .

On July 13th 1917 the Virgin Mary was said to have appeared to three shepherd children Lucia Santos and her cousins Jacinta and Francisco Marto near the village of Fatima, Portugal and told them three secrets.

On October 13th 1917, a miracle involving the sun happened at Fatima, Portugal witnessed by over 70,000 people (believers and atheists alike).

The third secret that had been told to the children was supposed to have been revealed by the Pope to the world in 1960 but it wasn’t.

The vision associated with the Third Secret was released by the Vatican on June 26th 2000 but the text (Mary’s words to the 3 children) never was.

Coincidentally on October 13th 1917 as a miracle of the sun was happening in Fatima Portugal, Saint Maximilian Kolbe (a Polish priest who later died at Auschwitz on August 14th 1941 volunteering to die in place of a Jewish man with a family) was in Rome Italy.

He saw a Freemasonic parade in Rome in which the Freemasons were carrying banners showing images of Satan overcoming Saint Michael the Archangel in battle while they were busy shouting the slogans “Someday Satan will rule in the Vatican and the Pope will be his lackey”.

On November 9th 2018 (the 100th Anniversary of the German Kaiser Wilhelm II’s abdication 2 days prior to the signing of the Great Armistice ending World War I), Renfield found the text of the third secret of Fatima in the briefcase of a retired Austian Army colonel who apparently spied for the Russians.

On that same date, Renfield’s friend Dracul Van Helsing had located (in the very back pages of Google search on the topic) the entire message of the revelations said to have been given to a Japanese nun Sister Agnes Sasagawa by the Virgin Mary at Akita Japan back in 1973.

That message contained the statement, “And now my daughter I will reveal to you the message that my Son’s Vicar was supposed to have revealed to the world in 1960 but sadly he did not.”

What Mary told Sister Agnes and what Renfield found as the supposed text in the retired Austrian colonel’s briefcase were one and the same.

Among the lines in the identical text that both Renfield and Dracul had found on the same day were these words that Satan would “succeed in infiltrating to the very top of the Church.”

. . .

In early 1922, Lenin was having a conversation with Leon Trotsky.

“Well, Comrade,” Trotsky addressed Lenin, “remember you had asked the question at the Party Congress last year, were there any great empires in history that tried to practice anything similar to scientific socialism?”.

“I remember I had asked that question,” Lenin nodded.

“You received a reply,” Trotsky pulled a folder out of his briefcase.

“Really?” Lenin smiled, “Who from?”

“A French Jesuit priest actually,” Trotsky read from the folder, “Although one who is not an archaeologist, anthropologist or historian. But rather a paleontologist and geologist. By the name of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.”

“And what does Teilhard have to say?” Lenin leaned back in his chair.

“The Inca Empire,” Trotsky read from the folder, “which lasted from 1438 until 1533. The Empire contained Peru, southwest Ecuador, western and south central Bolivia, northwest Argentina, a large portion of what is today Chile and a small part of southwest Colombia. Its official language was Quecha. But the economy of the Inca Empire was socialist. Supply on command as opposed to supply and demand as it were. The Empire functioned largely without money and without markets. Instead exchange of goods and services was based on reciprocity between individuals and among individuals, groups and Inca rulers. The Inca rulers (who theoretically owned all the means of production) reciprocated by granting access to land and goods and providing food and drink in celebratory feasts for their subjects.”

“So the Inca rulers were sort of the Soviet Politburo of their day?” Lenin smiled.

“That is correct,” Trotsky nodded.

“I take it though while the Incas practised a form of scientific socialism, they probably had a religion as well?” Lenin raised his left eyebrow.

“They did,” Trotsky nodded, “one of the Inca deities that Teilhard mentions is Pachamama who was Mother Earth the second most important figure in the Inca pantheon after Inti the sun god of the Incas.”

“Well, we can do without Pachamama as we build our scientific socialist paradise,” Lenin laughed.

“It may be necessary for the triumph of our cause to adapt some form of religion to temporarily appease the masses as we build the scientific socialist state,” Trotsky pointed out, “perhaps if push comes to shove and the masses are not inclined to immediately embrace atheism as we bring forth the agenda of worldwide scientific socialism, it might be necessary to bring in a deity who we could incorporate into our cause. Why not Pachamama? Our own immediate subjects in Russia are no doubt still haunted by the Czarist idea of Holy Mother Russia. Pachamama could become an engrafted substitute. And in various religions throughout the world and throughout history, the Earth Mother goddess was a very important deity. Why not adopt Pachamama who was the Earth Mother goddess of an Empire that tried to practice a form of scientific socialism?”.

“And who could we ask to graft such a deity into Marxism?” Lenin inquired.

“Why not Teilhard himself?” Trotsky suggested, “For in his opening introductory letter, he writes that he wishes to bring about a synthesis of Marxism and Christianity and he has taken it upon himself to do just that.”

“Christianity, Marxism and Pachamama,” Lenin mused aloud, “Well, let’s see what this Teilhard fellow comes up with.”

How well Teilhard succeeded would not be known in the life and existence of the Soviet Union itself.

Although Teilhard’s writings were eventually to be placed alongside the writings of Marx and Lenin in Moscow’s Hall of Atheism.

. . .

Teilhard was not the only one to consider the figure of Pachamama as a deity capable of synthesis and syncretism. 

Back in the late 1870s when founder of Theosophy Madame Helena Petrovna Blavatsky was admitted into the Grand Orient Lodge of France (the only Freemasonic lodge in the world to allow female initiates), she had written as her entry in the membership register, “The Celestial Virgin (who is the mother of both space and time) is also the mother of all Gods and all Devils at one and the same time. To the ancient Inca, she was called Pachamama.”

. . .

August 8th 1919
-A man is walking in the desert when the thing swooped down upon him. From afar it appeared to him quite small a pale fading shadow no bigger than the palm of a child’s hand. When suddenly with the speed of an arrow, it came straight at him. And then suddenly penetrated his soul. The man felt he was ceasing to be merely himself. An irresistible rapture took possession of him. And the anguish of some superhuman peril oppressed him. He felt what swooped down upon him was the combined essence of all evil and all goodness. And now in the depths of the very being who had invaded, something was murmuring, “You have called me here. Here I am.”
Said the thing, “You have need of me in order to grow. And I was waiting for you in order to be made holy. I have been drawing you to me and now I’ve been established in you for life or for death. And now you must either damn yourself with me. Or save myself with you. ”
The man replies, “What is your name? Speak, you who are divine and mighty.” 
The thing replies, “With my violence, I sometimes slay my lovers. And those who touch me never know what power they are unleashing. Wise men fear me and curse me. I am the essence of all that is tangible.
You have grasped what the world has even more than individuals who wish their soul to be redeemed. Lay yourself open to my inspiration. And receive what the spirit of the earth has in order to be saved. Your salvation and mine hang upon this first moment.”
Now this wave of bliss in which he was engulfed had been changed. And in ruthless determination, he began to battle the dark power. And then the frenzied battle gave placement however to an irresistible longing to submit. And he felt that henceforth nothing in the world would be able to alienate him from the greater reality that he was now feeling. Nothing at all. And he surrendered himself.
-Pierre Teilhard de Chardin writing in his diary about an experience he had in the Egyptian desert writing about himself in the third person as he was prone to do.

About the day he made contact with the Spirit of the Earth. 

Or as they say in Latin, Spiritus Mundi.

About the same time as Teilhard had this experience in the Egyptian desert, a poet in Ireland was having a vision of his own.

A vision that would inspire him to write a poem called The Second Coming.

A poem containing these words, 
“… a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi 
troubles my sight:
somewhere in sands of the desert 
A shape with lion body and the head of a man, 
A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
Is moving its slow thighs,
while all about it 
Reel shadows of the indignant desert birds.
The darkness drops again; but now I know 
That twenty centuries of stony sleep 
Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards 
Bethlehem to be born?
-William Butler Yeats, The Second Coming

. . .

On April 22nd 1970 was the world’s first Earth Day.

Coincidentally that date was also the 100th Birthday of Soviet leader Vladimir Lenin (who was born on April 22nd 1870).

39 years later on April 22nd 2009, the United Nations General Assembly adopted a resolution declaring April 22nd as International Mother Earth Day.

Following the resolution it was noted that the earth mother goddess was a common deity in many of the world’s religions.

Followers of Hinduism noted that in their religion, Mother Earth was symbolized by the goddess Sita.

And it was also noted by practitioners of other faiths that they had a representative earth mother goddess.

Curiously some UN officials and NGOs who were Marxist in their political beliefs and yet labelled themselves as Teilhardian in their spiritual beliefs had for the occasion culturally appropriated the Inca Earth Mother Goddess Pachamama as one of their own.

Said one Teilhardian Marxist after the vote, “Pachamama is the Andean Mother Earth. She provides harvests of potatoes and coca leaves. Today’s environmental problems stem from a lack of respect for Pachamama. We take too much from her and pollute her, endangering the life of the planet as a whole.”

The Teilhardian Marxist neglected to mention that Inca priests sacrificed llamas and guinea pigs to Pachamama and in times of severe crisis, they even sacrificed human children.

He also didn’t mention the fact that Pachamama was a shape shifter.

When she lived in the fires under the earth, she was a fierce red dragon.

But when she was on the earth’s surface, she appeared as a woman.

. . .

Friday October 4th 2019.

The first Friday of the month of October.

And among modern New Age adherents and disciples of Pachamama the Inca Earth Mother Goddess, the first Friday of every month is considered sacred to Pachamama.

Special ceremonies and special oblations are given to Pachamama on that day.

October 4th also happens to be the Feast Day of Saint Francis of Assisi.

Saint Francis as he lay dying had told his fellow monks the prophecy that someday in the future a man would ascend to the papal throne and would take for his papal name his (Francis’) name.

Saint Francis told his disciples to beware of this man when he comes.

For he said that this pope would attempt to lead the Catholic faithful into following strange and sinister gods.

On Friday October 4th 2019, small wooden statues of Pachamama were brought into the Vatican Gardens to mark the opening of the Amazon Synod.

A female shaman from the Amazon led the ceremonies and rituals.

A group of people formed a circle and danced and then bowed down and prostrated themselves before Pachamama.

Among those bowing down and prostrating themselves before the Pachamama idols was a Franciscan monk.

Looking on and viewing the ceremony was a Pope called Francis.

The female shaman from the Amazon later presented a black ring and a wooden statue of Pachamama to Pope Francis as a gift.

The Pope smiled and easily accepted.

The Pope would later bring the statues of Pachamama into Saint Peter’s Basilica for the opening Mass marking the start of the Amazonian Synod.

The statues would be placed right in front of the high altar of Saint Peter’s Basilica.

They would then be kept for the rest of the synod in front of the altar in a chapel inside the Church of Santa Maria del Traspontina.

Until a disgruntled Catholic layman entered the Church of Santa Maria del Traspontina on Monday October 21st 2019 and dispatched the statues into the nearby Tiber River.

. . .

At a Vatican Christmas concert on December 14th 2019 in the Pope Paul VI Hall, another Amazon female shaman would lead a group of Catholic bishops and priests in what was called the Pachamama Prayer.

She instructed the priests and bishops to lay crossed hands across their chests in Freemasonic fashion and feel their hearts as their hearts slowly became one in tune with the heartbeat of Mother Earth.

. . .

Amadeus Emanon (in Australia) and Renfield R. Renfield (in London, England) were holding a video conversation via Skype.

They were discussing Pachamama.

“Didn’t they make an animated cartoon film about Pachamama a few years back?” Amadeus asked.

“They did,” Renfield nodded, “Of course Pachamama also made an appearance in the opening scene of one of the great blockbuster movies of the 1980s.”

“She did?” Amadeus looked quizzical.

“She did,” Renfield smiled, “remember that small golden idol that Indiana Jones was attempting to steal in the opening scene of Raiders of The Lost Ark? He put a bag of sand down on the pedestal with one hand and then quickly grabbed the gold idol statue with his other hand in order not to let the traps inside the cave know that he was stealing the statue? Of course it failed and soon a rolling huge stone wheel came tumbling around in the cave. That gold idol figure with the sinister grin was Pachamama.”

“That was Pachamama?” Amadeus was shocked.

“That was Pachamama,” Renfield nodded, “So with Pope Francis bringing Pachamama into the inner sanctuary of the Vatican, expect huge rolling stone wheels to be tumbling around sometime in the near future.”

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Sunday January 12th
to 
Monday January 20th
2020.


The Inca vampiress Huchuysisa took a photo of the flaming disembodied head of Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin setting fire to the trees of the Amazon rainforest

Permalink 8 Comments

Qonzilqointec, Santa Muerte, Don Quixote and Pachamama Mark Guy Fawkes Day In Mexico

November 5, 2019 at 11:59 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec, Santa Muerte, Don Quixote and Pachamama Mark Guy Fawkes Day In Mexico

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had flown back to Mexico accompanied by Dracul Van Helsing upon hearing the news that 9 members of an American Mormon family- 3 women and 6 children- were killed in an attack by suspected drug cartel gunmen in northern Mexico.

Their burnt out SUV was found by the side of the road with the remains of some victims found inside.

They were most likely targeted as a result of mistaken identity.

Sonora state in northern Mexico is being fought over by two rival gangs La Linea (with links to the larger Juarez cartel) and Los Chapos (which is part of the larger Sinaloa cartel).

Being an equal opportunity beheader when it came to dealing with drug gang members, Qonzilqointec started beheading members of both gangs when she arrived in Sonora state.

She was assisted in the beheading by Van Helsing.

Just before their heads were lopped off, most of the drug hoodlums started snivelling and whining that this wasn’t what they had signed up for when they decided to join the gangs.

They were expecting a life of sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll and wild parties not being beheaded.

“Well, life’s a bitch and then you die,” Van Helsing remarked unsympathetically as he lopped off yet another whining drug hoodlum’s head.

Van Helsing and Qonzilqointec were soon joined in their beheading of the drug dealing hooligans by a man dressed as a medieval Spanish knight.

After over a thousand hooligans had lost their heads and the trio decided to call it a night, the Spanish knight rode off on his horse.

“Who was that unmasked man wearing the gold coloured sombrero of an old time Spanish singing barber?” Van Helsing asked Qonzilqointec.

“Well, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was a younger looking version of Cervantes’ Don Quixote,” the Aztec vampire princess answered.

. . .

Santa Muerte the patron saint of drug dealers was sitting in a rural Mexican cantina looking depressed because quite a number of his worshippers had died the past few days after being beheaded by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.

Santa Muerte was depicted in his statues as a female saint but was really Samael the ancient angel of death (mentioned in the Talmud) in drag.

He had been living in Mexico since the 1930s and had been a transgendered fallen angel for almost as long.

“I’ve got a lot to complain about,” Santa Muerte wept in his tequila.

“You’ve got a lot to complain about?” Pachamama the ancient Inca Mother Earth goddess who was sitting over at the next table hit him over the head with her high-heeled shoes, “I’ve got something to complain about. Back on Monday October 20th during the Pan-Amazonia synod in Rome a group of Catholic men entered a Catholic Church where my statues were displayed and took them out and threw them into the Tiber River. Then just this past Sunday November 3rd
the Rev. Father Hugo Valdemar Romero Canon of the Cathedral in Mexico City and the official Spokesman for the Archdiocese of Mexico burned 3 cardboard effigies of me in a public ceremony in front of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church in Mexico City.”

“Well, look at the bright side,” Santa Muerte polished his 1930s era glass spectacles with a cloth, “he missed Guy Fawkes Day by two days. He obviously didn’t remember the 5th of November. And I don’t imagine Canon Valdemar will ever be awarded a Cardinal’s hat by Pope Francis.” 

Pachamama was not pleased by Santa Muerte’s words of consolation.

She poured tequila all over his skull head and then set fire to it.

Santa Muerte cried, “The last thing I wanted to do was spend Guy Fawkes Day looking like Nicolas Cage in the 2007 film Ghost Rider.”

He ran up to the bar and poured a pitcher of ice water over his head.

. . .

Señorita Adriana was sitting beside a carved stone depiction of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl.

She held a red rose in her hands.

The rose had been given her by a man who had been the epitome of charm.

But the man was really Quetzalcoatl who had shapeshifted into human form.

The “man” had told her to wait for him by the carved image of Quetzalcoatl.

The feathered serpent arrived on the scene with a obsidian knife to cut her heart out.

Señorita Adriana screamed.

A man dressed as a medieval Spanish knight and wearing a golden coloured sombrero arrived on the scene and stabbed the feathered serpent with his lance.

“Waaaaah!” Quetzalcoatl cried.

“But it’s only a flesh wound,” Don Quixote pointed out.

“I haven’t had worse,” Quetzalcoatl sobbed as he ran down the street.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 5th
2019.

Permalink 6 Comments

Renfield Begins Re-Election Campaign

October 29, 2019 at 10:37 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Renfield Begins Re-Election Campaign 

By a margin of 438 votes to 20, the British House of Commons voted to approve Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s date for a UK national election to be held this coming December 12th.

This would pave the way for Britain’s first December election since 1923.

Johnson said the British public must be given a choice over the future of “Brexit and the country”.

As the vote took place, British MP Renfield R. Renfield the UK’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering sat on the benches eating a dozen Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches that he pulled out of a large bag prominently displaying the Chick-fil-A logo.

He also wore a t-shirt showing Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt when she turned back to look on the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.

The visual display at the moment of the historic vote lost him the endorsement of both Justin Trudeau and Barack Obama for his re-election campaign (not of course that Renfield was expecting their endorsements anyways).

Renfield also earned himself an excommunication from Pope Francis even though he wasn’t Catholic (but then again it could be argued neither was the Pope).

Renfield went home to the colossal West London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set where he lived while in London.

He noticed Set on the front lawn outside cutting up a large block of ice and what appeared to be a body inside the block of ice.

Renfield walked through the front door of the mansion where he informed his friend Amadeus Emanon that he would be renting a room in a Bed and Breakfast place in the town of Tewkesbury for the next couple of months as he fought his re-election campaign in his constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds.

Meanwhile London-based PIs Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie were flying home from New York City to London.

They had just finished handing in a report to Lev Tomi the Secretary General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change on who were the groups and individuals responsible for starting the wild fires that raged through the Amazon rain forests this past summer.

Their investigation came to a sudden halt when they stumbled on a location where shaman priests and priestesses of Pachamama (who was the ancient Inca goddess of the earth and earthquakes) were sacrificing both llamas and humans to Pachamama.

Now that it looked like a UK general election would soon be held, the two private eyes mutually agreed to seek their old jobs as MPs.

For Agathor Christie who had been the British Conservative MP for Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds prior to the spring 2017 British election, this would mean defeating current British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had beaten him back in spring 2017).

For Magog Rhys Petley who had been British Labour MP for the Welsh constituency of Newbridge prior to the spring 2017 election, this would mean defeating British Transhumanist MP Morgana Fay Lee who was a Welsh vampiress who had beaten him back in spring 2017.

The Welsh vampiress Morgana: the lovely little devil about to take on Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley in the upcoming British general election.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 29th
2019.

Permalink 2 Comments

Asmodeus In Rome On Saint Raphael’s Day

October 24, 2019 at 10:31 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Asmodeus In Rome On Saint Raphael’s Day 

The demon Asmodeus was sitting in a Rome taverna and enjoying a glass of absinthe with the little green frog Nimrod (who had been a mighty hunter back in the day of the Old Testament Book of Genesis).

The TV in the taverna was on and the news was being read,

“In Britain, Renfield R. Renfield the UK’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering has been placed in charge of the investigation to find the human trafficking gang responsible for the deaths of 39 migrants who had been found frozen to death in a refrigerator truck that was parked in an industrial area in Essex…”

“I wonder what will happen to the human traffickers when Renfield gets his hands on them?” Nimrod asked.

“I imagine from what I’ve heard of Renfield’s reputation,” Asmodeus lit his 10,000th cigarette of the day, “they will die a slow painful death by bodily dismemberment.”

“I suppose that’s why Renfield is considered the inspiration for the character of Raymond Red Reddington on The Blacklist TV show,” Nimrod licked up absinthe from his glass with his long tongue.

“I imagine,” Asmodeus agreed as he sipped his absinthe.

“In other news,” the announcer on the TV went on, “Pope Francis dove into the Tiber River today when he spotted what he thought were Pachamama idols floating by. The idols had been thrown off the bridge into the Tiber River on Monday…”

“I wonder if Pope Francis knows how to swim,” Nimrod finished his absinthe.

“Don’t know,” Asmodeus shrugged as he motioned for the waiter to bring another couple of glasses of absinthe.

A girl walked by the window wearing a Saint Raphael medal around her neck.

“Great balls of fire,” Asmodeus turned pale and made a reverse Sign of the Cross.

“What is it?” Nimrod inquired.

“That woman was wearing a Saint Raphael medal,” Asmodeus answered.

“Si, signor,” the waiter said as he put down the glasses of absinthe, “today is Saint Raphael’s Day on the old Roman Rite Latin calendar.”

“What have you got against Saint Raphael?” Nimrod asked Asmodeus when the waiter departed.

“Well over 2 millennia and a half ago, when I had the hots for a young Hebrew maiden named Sarah so much so that I murdered 7 of her husbands on the night their marriages to her were supposed to be consummated,” Asmodeus explained, “The Archangel Raphael befriended a young Hebrew man named Tobias and helped him get engaged to Sarah. The awful smell of a fish’s liver and heart being burnt and its fumes drove me away when I tried to attack Tobias on their wedding night. The smell was so bad, I fled from Media (where Sarah lived) all the way to Upper Egypt where Raphael followed me, bound me and buried me. I lay bound and buried for several centuries until an intoxicated Irish leprechaun named Yaldabaoth accidentally released me while he was visiting his mother Sophia in Egypt.”

“I can see why you’re not very happy with Raphael,” Nimrod nodded.

Meanwhile in another part of Rome, the Greek goddess Artemis rang the doorbell of a Vatican Cardinal’s apartment.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 24th
2019.

Permalink 2 Comments

Canadian Election Night and The Osiris-Pachamama Alliance

October 22, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Canadian Election Night and The Osiris-Pachamama Alliance

It was election night in Canada and Canadian New Democratic Party leader Jagmeet Singh had just finished his election speech.

Set Enterprises’ secret agent Harvey Tallbanger watched the speech on the large screen at Canadian Federal Liberal Party headquarters where Justin Trudeau was expected to put in an appearance in another 20 minutes to half an hour.

Trudeau had won the election albeit with a minority government.

Next up to speak was Canadian Conservative Party leader Andrew Scheer of Regina.

The leader of the Official Opposition.

As political convention dictated in Canada, Scheer as leader of the party having won the 2nd greatest number of seats in Parliament on Election Night would give his speech which would then be followed by Trudeau who won the greatest number of seats.

However 35 seconds into Scheer’s speech, the classless Justin Trudeau walked on stage and began his speech causing national television networks to immediately switch over from Scheer to the newly re-elected Prime Minister.

Never had such a protocol been broken before.

But it was typical of spoiled brat Justin Trudeau who seemed to have people outside Canada so totally mesmerized that even Barack Obama had endorsed the spoiled brat for Prime Minister.

Justin’s treatment of Scheer was so typical of all politicians from Quebec and their treatment of and total disdain for politicians who came from the Canadian prairie provinces.

Ever since the days of Justin’s pompous arrogant father Pierre Elliot Trudeau, it had been the attitude of all politicians from Quebec to treat the electorate and people of the Canadian prairie provinces with loathing and contempt.

Robbing the prairie provinces of their resource wealth so they could buy votes in their native province of Quebec.

Even Brian Mulroney who had been a Progressive Conservative and not a Liberal, being a politician from Quebec, he naturally treated the people of the Canadian prairie provinces with disdain.

In some ways Mulroney had been even a bigger asshole towards the people of the Canadian prairie provinces than Pierre Elliot Trudeau had been.

And now Justin was following in the footsteps of his father and all recent politicians from Quebec.

The following morning the Alberta independence website Westxit (which had 2000 likes by the time of Election Day) suddenly climbed overnight to 200,000 likes after Justin Trudeau had metaphorically shit over the people of the Canadian prairie provinces.

When Justin Trudeau had finished his speech, he walked off stage where he immediately had a cream pie thrown in his face by Harvey Tallbanger.

. . .

The Egyptian god Osiris was pleased by recent happenings at the Vatican and throughout Europe.

Osiris had in the past year formed an alliance with the Amazon rainforest and Andean Mountain indigenous earth mother goddess Pachamama.

Pachamama, unlike her earth mother goddess equivalents in the Ancient Greek and Egyptian pantheons, was an earth mother goddess who required blood sacrifices.

Most of the time, it was poor llamas and poor little guinea pigs who were sacrificed to Pachamama by her priests and priestesses.

Pachamama definitely wasn’t a member of GETA (Goddesses For The Ethical Treatment of Animals).

On occasion, she also required human sacrifice.

But that was no big deal, Osiris thought.

So did most liberal progressive Democratic governors of U.S. states.

And Osiris’ good friend Pope Francis had started off this month’s Pan-Amazonia Synod at the Vatican by having an Amazon female shaman lead an outdoor ritual in the Vatican gardens in which everybody bowed down to idols of Pachamama.

Afterwards the idols of Pachamama were then put in front of an altar in the Catholic Church of Santa Maria del Traspontina.

This past Sunday October 21st a group of Amazon Synod leaders led by the pro-Communist Brazilian Cardinal Claudio Hummes held a ceremony in the Catacombs of Domitilla in which they re-enacted the signing of the Pact of the Catacombs.

The Pact of the Catacombs was a ceremony held by pro-Marxist Cardinals, bishops and priests back on November 16th 1965 towards the end of the 2nd Vatican Council in which they pledged loyalty to the spirit of revolution.

Now that pact would be renewed and Pachamama (who lived beneath the earth as a dragon bathed in fire and who shapeshifted into a woman above the earth) would then be accepted as the spirit of the coming revolution.

The Pact of The Catacombs was renewed by the Amazon Synod leaders.

A day later, a group of traditional Catholics entered the Church of Santa Maria del Traspontina, removed 5 Pachamama idols and then took them outside and cast them into the Tiber River.

Claudio Cardinal Hummes threw a hippy hissy fit in response.

But for now Osiris was happy.

He was sure that he would soon become the Pharaoh of Europe after a papally blessed inter-religious ceremony would be held on the border between Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland this coming Halloween that would forever bind the United Kingdom of Great Britain to the coming United States of Europe (foreseen and talked about by Leon Trotsky back in 1935) of which he Osiris would be the Pharaoh.

After all it looked like Boris Johnson and that odious Renfield R. Renfield’s efforts to pull Britain out of the EU before Halloween night would be a failure.

Osiris smiled.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 22nd
2019.

Permalink 8 Comments

Nimrod On The Night of The Hunter’s Moon

October 13, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Nimrod On The Night of The Hunter’s Moon

Sunday October 13th 2019.

Evening.

The night of the hunter’s moon.

A full moon.

The first full moon that follows the harvest moon.

The hunter’s moon.

And on this night of the hunter’s moon, Nimrod (described in the biblical Book of Genesis as a mighty hunter against The Lord) stood on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica.

He, of course, was no longer a man.

After having been hit over the head by his wife Semiramis back in the days of Babel which should have killed him, the dying Nimrod was abducted by a group of ET grays.

They took him to his planet where they healed him.

Nimrod was grateful for otherwise he’d have probably wound up in the flames of Tartarus in the Underworld if he had died.

He hung around with the ET grays until their spacecraft crashed near Tuktoyaktuk Northwest Territories in Canada back in December 2014.

The crash killed both the grays and him.

Fortunately for Nimrod just before his spirit was to be thrown into Tartarus, he was brought back from the dead after the vampiress Lilith gave him a magic kiss after kissing him on the lips as his body lay in a DARPA secret research lab not far from Washington DC.

The magic kiss did have one serious side effect however.

It turned him into a little green frog.

And now the little frog that was Nimrod was quietly ribbiting on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica.

He was here because of a tarot card reading given him by the gypsy fortune teller Dulcinea Lucia when he was in London recently.

Dulcinea had told him that if he sat on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica during the next hunter’s moon, a magic bow and arrow would come down from the moon and he would once again be a mighty hunter.

So here was Nimrod waiting for the bow and arrow.

Several pieces of green cheese fell from the moon and fell nearby him which he ate.

Finally a bow and arrow fell right on top of his head.

“Owww!” Nimrod ribbited.

The centaur Sagittarius appeared to Nimrod and told the frog that the Vatican was about to be attacked by a pack of Transylvanian werewolves.

Nimrod could re-invigorate his hunting skills by hunting the werewolves.

Nimrod asked, “Why should I do that?”.

Sagittarius replied, “Because the Vatican has been under the control of Allatallahbel the Vampiress Priestess of Baal and the Vampiric Knights-Templar since October 13th 2017. And remember Allatallahbel is an ally of Lilith who brought you back from the dead. So to help Allatallahbel keep the Vatican is a good thing. Those werewolves were hired by Russian President Vladimir Putin to take the Vatican for Russia.”

Nimrod didn’t understand modern geopolitics but took the centaur’s advice.

He checked his supply of arrows and was relieved to see they all had silver tips.

Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to kill a single werewolf never mind a whole pack of them.

When the werewolves attacked at the height of the hunter’s moon, Nimrod fired his arrows.

There were 99 werewolves in all.

As Nimrod fired, he sang,

“99 werewolves of fear on the wall,
99 werewolves of fear,
shoot one down, 
watch it hit the ground,
98 werewolves of fear on the wall…”

And so on and so forth until there were none left.

Allatallahbel: Pleased by Nimrod’s defence of her captive Vatican from an attack by an invading pack of Transylvanian werewolves

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday October 13th
2019.

Permalink 2 Comments

Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed Wins Nobel Peace Prize

October 11, 2019 at 10:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed Wins Nobel Peace Prize

“I see the 2019 Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded to Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed,” Amadeus Emanon remarked to his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“I noticed that,” Renfield nodded, “Putting an end to a war that’s lasted 20 years (the Ethiopian-Eritrean conflict of 1998-2018), he certainly deserved it.”

“I noticed multitudes of people on various social media networks are very upset and outraged that Greta Thunberg did not win this year’s Nobel Peace Prize,” Amadeus pointed out.

“I saw a good meme that answered all those critics in the idiocy sphere,” Renfield showed Amadeus the meme on his laptop:

“That is a good meme,” Amadeus admitted.

“Yes, awarding a Nobel Peace Prize to someone who ended 20 years of war instead of giving it to someone who looks like a walking advertisement for the hazards of irregularity,” said Renfield.

“What’s that piece of paper you’re holding?” Amadeus asked.

“I printed up a photo that Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol sent me,” Renfield handed the photo to Amadeus, “it’s a photo showing Democratic Presidential candidate Beto O’ Rourke selling his soul to Baphomet.”

“Wow, Beto O’ Rourke sold his soul to Baphomet?” Amadeus hurriedly made the sign of the Cross which frightened off Pope Francis’ pet raven who happened to be gazing through the window.

“Yes,” Renfield took back the photo, “It should come as no surprise given some of the statements that O’Rourke has made recently.”

“Will that help him win the Presidency?” Amadeus asked.

“Who knows?” Renfield shrugged, “But to paraphrase a Carpenter From Nazareth (whose incarnate deity Pope Francis denies), ‘What shall it profit a man if he gains the Presidency of the United States and loses his own soul’?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 11th
2019.

Permalink 9 Comments

Renfield Discusses The Turkish Invasion of Syria

October 10, 2019 at 10:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield Discusses The Turkish Invasion of Syria

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was discussing the Turkish invasion of Syria with his friend Amadeus Emanon.

“Well several civilians have been killed and tens of thousands of people have been forced to flee their homes in northern Syria as a result of the megalomaniac Erdogan’s invasion,” Renfield remarked as he carved a turkey to make a turkey sandwich.

“And is the megalomaniac Trump going to do anything about it?” Amadeus asked as he carved a ham to make a ham sandwich.

“No, he’s too worried about impeachment,” Renfield added a sliced peach to his turkey sandwich, “a couple of Eastern European friends of his lawyer Rudy Giuliani were arrested today and charged with campaign finance fraud in making illegal contributions to Trump’s 2016 campaign.”

Some shit hit the fan in the kitchen at that moment.

“I should have known better than to leave the window open with all those geese blowing around in this windstorm,” Renfield closed the window.

“Where is most of the fighting in northern Syria taking place at the moment?” Amadeus asked.

“Around the border towns of Ras al-Ain and Tal Abyad,” Renfield answered.

“And what is the UN doing about it?” Amadeus inquired.

“What the UN always does in these situations,” Renfield acknowledged, “Nothing.”

Athelstan the butler entered the kitchen to make tea, “I understand the UN Security Council held an emergency meeting today to discuss the situation at the request of Britain, France, Germany, Belgium and Poland.”

“Which will just produce nothing but a lot of handwringing,” Renfield noted.

A bunch of severed hands from living dead zombies began ringing the doorbell.

Athelstan went to the door with a can of RAID House and Garden Zombie Killer and started spraying the hands where they dropped like flies.

“I see Erdogan says that he’ll send the 3.6 million refugees that Turkey hosts to Europe if Europe dares to call the Turkish offensive an occupation,” Amadeus added mustard to his ham sandwich.

“Yes, Erdogan seems to have a thing about certain words,” Renfield put cranberries on his turkey, “just like he doesn’t like it when you call what Turkey did to the Armenians in 1915 a genocide.”

“How’s Prince Vlad Dracula doing on the ground in northern Syria?” Amadeus inquired.

“He’s fighting alongside the Kurds,” Renfield bit into his turkey sandwich, “and his daughter the Countess Draculina has joined him along with my personal Army brigade of Gurkhas.”

Countess Draculina: Battling the invading Turkish forces of Recep Tayyip Erdogan

. . .

Pope Francis was at his desk in his Vatican apartment when the phone rang.

It was Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan calling.

“Hello, Frankie old boy,” the Turkish President tried to sound informal, “I hear you deny the incarnate deity of Jesus Christ. Being a Muslim, I too deny the incarnate deity of Jesus Christ. So since we have that in common, I was wondering if you’d like to take part in my coronation when I’m crowned Sultan of a revived Ottoman Empire.”

“What was the date you planned for that?” Francis asked.

Erdogan answered.

“Let me check my calendar,” Francis opened his little red notebook with a photo of Chairman Mao on the cover, “Yes, that should be fine.”

A lemon meringue pie was thrown in Francis’ face at that moment just as Swiss Guards outside the apartment shouted that a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit had just entered the papal apartment.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday October 10th
2019.

Permalink 6 Comments

Next page »