Kraken Uhluhtc Causes Venezuela Electrical Blackout

March 11, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was sitting in her Mexico City penthouse apartment having a long distance phone conversation discussing the crisis in Venezuela with British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Do you have any idea what’s causing this massive electricity and power blackout that’s been going on in Venezuela since last Thursday?” Renfield asked.

Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro and the U.S. government had both been blaming the other for causing the blackout.

“My sources tell me it’s Uhluhtc that’s causing the problem,” Qonzilqointec answered.

“And who’s Uhluhtc?” Renfield helped himself to a dish of calamari in front of him.

“Uhluhtc is a kraken that recently rose from the bottom of the Caribbean Sea a couple of years ago,” Qonzilqointec answered.

“I see,” Renfield added some Jamaican Hot Sauce to his calamari, “and what caused him to rise?”.

“North Korean leader Kim Jong-un reading aloud a passage from a medieval Korean edition of The Necronomicon by radio and loudspeaker to a North Korean ship named The Red Scorpion that was sailing in the Caribbean at the time,” the Aztec vampire princess replied.

“Really?” Renfield helped himself to some Korean dumplings and fried scorpion, “Interesting how this information is sort of forming a Jungian synchronicity with what I’m having on my lunchtime menu.”

“One of my drones spotted Uhluhtc attacking electrical transformers throughout Venezuela,” Qonzilqointec added.

“Any idea why he’s doing this?” Renfield found a toy figure of Godzilla as the prize in his box of children’s cereal.

“None whatsoever,” Qonzilqointec smoothed her dress and watched another one of her carrier pigeon shaped drones returning.

. . .

Donald Trump was receiving a briefing from the National Security Agency as his English butler and valet Lexington poured tea.

“Um, is it appropriate for him to be here?” The NSA operative pointed towards Lexington.

“That’s all right,” Trump shrugged, “he’s got high level security clearance.”

“Your English butler and valet has high-level security clearance?” The NSA operative was astounded.

“Hey,” Trump helped himself to a hot buttered crumpet, “if I can get high-level security clearance for my daughter and my son-in-law, I can get high-level security clearance for my English butler and valet.”

“Fuck everybody and let’s build a Trump casino in Moscow. Fuck everybody and let’s build a Trump casino in Moscow,” Trump’s pet Norwegian blue parrot squawked from inside his cage.

Trump was currently working on getting high-level security clearance for his parrot.

“Anyways we wiretapped a conversation New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez recently had in a Washington DC restaurant with Lev Tomi the Secretary-General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change,” the NSA operative explained.

“Bully for you, we need surveillance to find out what these Communist saboteurs are up to,” Trump accidentally pushed the Record button on his Huawei smart phone.

“They were discussing the Green New Deal,” the NSA operative said.

“I noticed,” Trump remarked as he drank his cup of Earl Grey Tea, “that even British MP Renfield R. Renfield who supports AOC’S plans for a single user pay national public health care system says that AOC “is out to lunch like most leftists are” when it comes to the subject of climate change.”

“Anyhow the Department of Homeland Security recently uncovered frightening information with regards to Lev Tomi,” the NSA operative read from his briefs as he dressed down to his briefs since it was rather hot in the Oval Office.

“And what was that?” Trump seeing the NSA operative dressed down to his briefs brought back memories of last year’s private one-on-one encounter with Vladimir Putin in which no aides nor translators were present.

“That Lev Tomi is in fact a vampire,” the NSA operative’s glasses steamed up, “and in his mortal life had been the Russian Communist Revolutionary Leon Trotsky. Trotsky did not die on the night of August 20th/21st 1940 succumbing to his ice axe wounds delivered by a Stalinist NKVD assassin as the history books teach us. Instead he was turned into a vampire by the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec.”

“Aztec?” Trump felt a sudden craving for enchiladas, “They’re Mexican aren’t they?”.

“That is correct,” the NSA operative answered.

“Then I’m right to build that damned wall,” Trump pounded his fist on his desk.

“Begging your pardon, sir,” Lexington removed the Gloucester cheese from the table, “but if this Qonzilqointec is a vampiress, then she can just turn into a vampire bat and fly over the wall.”

“What a bummer,” Trump grimaced.

“That’s exactly what Putin said to me afterwards,” squawked the parrot, “that’s exactly what Putin said to me afterwards.”

. . .

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing thought back to the 1941 film Sundown with Gene Tierney and George Sanders that he had been watching for the first time on YouTube early Sunday morning when his BBC app sounded a five second long musical note indicating a breaking news bulletin.

That was when he first heard about the tragic Ethiopian Airlines plane crash from Addis Ababa Ethiopia to Nairobi Kenya that had killed all 157 people on board.

Today after watching the news he found out that 18 Canadians had been aboard the plane including a Carleton University professor from Ottawa, a family of six from Brampton Ontario, an environmentalist from Winnipeg Manitoba and a young mother from Edmonton Alberta along with her 5-year-old daughter.

There was also an assistant pastor from the City of Calgary (who also worked as an accountant at Calgary City Hall) killed- a man that Dracul Van Helsing had personally met on one occasion.

In another connection to the City of Calgary, the pilot of the plane had an aunt who lived in Calgary.

In this interconnected world of the 21st Century, tragedy now connected all corners of the globe.


Gene Tierney in the movie Sundown 1941.
A movie that was set in the border region between Kenya and Ethiopia.
A movie that had as its premise the importance of Africa to world geopolitics and how Africa served as the pivotal point of the interconnectivity of the world.
It was while watching this film, a breaking BBC News bulletin on a tablet app showed that the premise still held true in the year 2019.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 11th
2019.

Advertisements

Permalink 18 Comments

Aztec Vampire Princess To Be Hung In Venezuela While Pope Francis Meets Che Guevara’s Ghost In Panama

January 23, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec about to be hung at a Nicolas Maduro compound in Caracas Venezuela

For the past few years, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had been plotting to overthrow the Stalinist government of President Nicolas Maduro in Venezuela.

Almost 2 weeks ago she had poisoned the head of Venezuela’s intelligence service on the date of Nicolas Maduro’s 2nd inauguration as President of Venezuela (he had won a fraudulent election last year in a campaign boycotted by the Opposition).

Now she had been captured by Maduro’s Venezuelan security services and was about to be hung.

Her secret whereabouts in Caracas had been revealed to the security services by the fallen Archangel Samael (who was the angel of death according to the Babylonian Talmud and was the entity (it wasn’t Lucifer the Devil) called Satan in the Book of Job).

Samael like Qonzilqointec lived in Mexico.

He had been living there since the early 1930s and had become a transitioning transgendered demon while living there in that decade of the ’30s (in that respect he was decades ahead of his time).

While transitioning and putting on women’s clothing, Samael had changed his name to Santa Muerte (the Spanish feminine name for Saint Death).

He/she was now of course the patron saint of drug gangs and drug dealers in Mexico.

Samael/Santa Muerte had always considered the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec a rival for power in both Mexico and throughout Latin America.

When he found out she had gone to her secret revolutionary headquarters in Caracas on this day, he reported it to the Venezuelan security services who raided the place and arrested her.

When Santa Muerte heard the news of Qonzilqointec’s arrest and soon to be subsequent hanging, he/she drank 13 bottles of tequila, ate 13 worms from those bottles and plotted going over to the Aztec vampire princess’ Mexico City penthouse apartment to help himself/herself to Qonzilqointec’s lovely collection of skirts and dresses for himself/herself.

Ironically enough, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was about to be hung on the same day that Venezuela’s National Assembly head and Opposition leader Juan Guaido had sworn himself in as interim President of Venezuela in a move recognized by Canada, the U.S., Argentina, Brazil, Chile, Colombia, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Panama, Paraguay, Peru and Ecuador.

The Mexican government was waiting to see if Qonzilqointec would be hung first before announcing any change in policy.

Bolivia, Cuba, El Salvador and Nicaragua (all leftist governments on good terms with the Jesuit Pope Francis) were still recognizing Maduro as Venezuela’s President.

And speaking of Pope Francis, he was in Panama to attend World Youth Day events.

Prior to attending those events, the Pontiff would be meeting with the ghost of Che Guevara who was recently granted a dispensation by the Greek god Hades and the Norse goddess Hel (at Pope Francis’ request) to leave the Underworld for a brief time period.

Meanwhile in Havana Cuba where ironically the Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike (a genetic clone of the Freemasonic racist Lucifer worshipping Confederate Brigadier-General Albert Pike) lived, Serena the Time Travelling magician was plotting his death.

Robur Pike who called himself Robur The Conqueror II (after Jules Verne’s character) flew around Cuba and the world in a Robur The Conqueror style airship.

Serena the Time Traveler was planning to use her steampunk missile gun to shoot it down.


Serena the Time Traveler ready to shoot down Robur The Conqueror II’s airship.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 23rd
2019.

Permalink 34 Comments

Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec Marks Nicolas Maduro’s 2nd Inauguration

January 10, 2019 at 11:52 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, love, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec got up and walked away after she had successfully poisoned the head of Venezuela’s intelligence service.

She also had in her possession and in her purse the location of two Russian Tu-160 nuclear bombers (with nuclear bombs aboard) in Venzeula.

She’d be contacting British MP Renfield R. Renfield with that information.

She’d also be text messaging a photo of the head of the Venezuelan Intelligence Service (lying dead on the floor with a poisoned olive from a martini hanging from his mouth) to Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro moments after he was inaugurated for a second time.

The Aztec vampire princess would now be flying to Havana Cuba where she would watch Cuban President Miguel Diaz-Canal receive the Pope Francis Medal of Freedom Award presented to the Cuban leader by a leading Latin American liberation theology Jesuit theologian on behalf of the Pontiff.

She’d then meet with a United Nations official the vampire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky the head of the Communist Fourth International) and plot their strategy to talk actress Angelina Jolie into running for the Democratic Party Presidential nomination in 2020.

After the vaudeville papal awards ceremony and the Tomi meeting, she’d then have a tantric sex marathon with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a Havana hotel room.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 10th
2019.

Permalink 4 Comments

Reblog- Putting a Face on Venezuela’s Humanitarian Crisis

September 29, 2018 at 10:52 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Personal essays) (, , )

An excellent blog post about the catastrophic humanitarian disaster currently unfolding in Venezuela 🇻🇪 .
Written by my good friend and fellow blogger Henry Lewis.

my quest blog

For those who have been paying scant attention to the news-worthy articles tucked between Trump headlines, the on-going humanitarian crisis in Venezuela may be but a blip on an already disorienting radar screen. However, with the pending collapse of President Nicolas Maduro’s government looking more inevitable as the days pass, along with limits to immigration being high on the agenda of many countries, this is a crisis to which we should all be paying attention.

Each day, Venezuelans are dying from malnutrition and treatable diseases due to hyperinflation that’s driving up prices and causing severe shortages of basics like food and medicine. The callous mindset that rules in Caracas was once again placed on international display this past week when President (and dictator) Maduro and his wife dined on the finest cuts of beef at an expensive soirée in Istanbul while his own people were starving back in Venezuela.

View original post 1,924 more words

Permalink 6 Comments

To Overthrow Maduro

February 1, 2018 at 11:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

To Overthrow Maduro

Renfield R. Renfield MP was sitting in his parliamentary office drinking from his Churchillian bottle of brandy.

Churchill’s image once again left the oil painting of Sir Winston Churchill that hung in Renfield’s office and sat in the chair across from him.

“So has Dr. Cadbury Rocher brought the vampire Dracula back from the dead so we can use him as our ally in the war against Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s coming revised Ottoman Empire?” Churchill asked.

“He has,” Renfield nodded, “but I’m afraid our dear old Count will have to rest for awhile so that his buttocks can recover from the sound tomatoing that dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes gave him.”

“Hm, pity,” Churchill drank from his spectral bottle of brandy, “so Sherrielock Holmes as an immortal is very much alive. I remember I had my own buttocks tomatoed 🍅 on occasion by the lovely Miss Holmes.”

“Her whip really does seem to get around,” Renfield felt a tingling in his own buttocks.

“I think our next plan should be to overthrow the government of the Marxist despot Nicolas Maduro in Venezuela,” Churchill finished his spectral bottle of brandy.

“And what do you have in mind?” Renfield asked.

“Listen carefully,” said Churchill as he lit a spectral cigar.

Renfield drew closer and immediately started choking on the ghostly smoke 💨.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 1st
2018.

Permalink 6 Comments

Pike’s Plan

February 3, 2017 at 12:43 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Yes, the Golden Circle superstate would come into existence, Robur Pike reflected.

And Havana, Cuba would be its capital.

But of course something would have to be done about Cuban President Raul Castro.

Fortunately Cuban Revolution senior statesman Fidel Castro had done the Knights of the Golden Circle a favour and kicked the bucket back in November.

But Cuban President Raul Castro was still alive and kicking.

And plotting to establish a Marxist New World Order that would receive the Apostolic Blessing of Pope Francis.

Robur Pike figured he’d better nip that in the bud right away.

He crushed a white rose and a red rose that he had bought from an elderly Cuban woman who was selling roses in the cafe.

Pike already knew how Raul Castro would be killed. And by whom.

. . .

Salaman the Magician was in Caracas, Venezuela.

In addition to being a successful stage magician, Salaman was also a successful hypnotist.

And he had been hired by a certain individual to hypnotize Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro.

Which is what he was currently doing at the moment.

“Nicolas,” Salaman spoke softly, “listen to me. I am the ghost of Comrade Chavez.”

“You are the ghost of Comrade Chavez,” Maduro spoke in a zombie like voice.

You shall do exactly as I say,” Salaman directed.

“I shall do exactly as you say, Comrade Hugo,” Maduro continued his impersonation of American actor Chuck Norris at his dramatic speaking voice best.

. . .

Raul Castro got off the phone.

He looked at his aide Juan Ernesto Garcia.

“I just got the most peculiar phone call from President Maduro of Venezuela,” Castro pushed the Freeze button on the DVD of the movie The Manchurian Candidate that he had been watching.

“Really?” Juan gave his leader his undivided attention.

“Yes, he needs to see me right away for some reason,” Castro frowned, “he says he’s flying to Havana tonight in his private jet.”

Meanwhile at Havana Airport, another private jet was flying out of the country. Headed towards the Middle East. Robur Pike bid the lights of Havana good-bye from his window.

He then lay back in his plane’s hot tub, sipped on a martini and thanked Lucifer that he wasn’t a Syrian refugee.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 1st
2017.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Qonzilqointec’s Coup

March 6, 2015 at 6:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec’s Coup

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was in the Venezuelan capital of Caracas.

Qonzilqointec had been good friends with Venezuela’s late President Hugo Chavez who died 2 years ago this past Thursday.

But she didn’t think much of his successor Nicolas Maduro whom she thought was a complete dolt to say nothing of being a tyrant.

So she was in Caracas arranging his overthrow.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 6th
2015.

Permalink 2 Comments

Qonzilqointec Melts The Ice

March 18, 2014 at 7:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Melts The Ice

The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec had been called by her good friend Arizona Sen. John McCain asking for help in de-thawing the U.S. government’s most pre-eminent hired assassin Pan Goatee.

The astral projecting genetically created half-man half- goat satyr and professional serial killer turned U.S. government agent had been frozen in a terrible Washington D.C. snow storm several weeks ago.

Despite all their best efforts while burning the midnight oil (especially burning the midnight oil) the top research scientists at DARPA could not de-thaw the creature.

In desperation, one of the directors of DARPA phoned John McCain for help.

In turn, McCain turned to his friend Princess Qonzilqointec.

McCain figured that a hot looking young looking 600- odd year old Aztec Vampiress (like most women over 30, she wouldn’t reveal her true age) who looked the spitting image of the hot and sultry actress Salma Hayek might be sizzlingly hot enough to de-thaw Pan Goatee.

So McCain phoned Qonzilqointec.

He had to wait half an hour while Her Vampiric Highness chewed out Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro on the other line.

She told Maduro that he was a despot and a tyrant who oppressed his people and that he had neither the charisma nor compassion of his predecessor Hugo Chavez.

She told Maduro that he didn’t have the testicles Chavez did and she included in that the state of testicles of Chavez’s currently decomposing body.

After Maduro hung up the phone to have a much needed bowel movement, Qonzilqointec took Sen. McCain’s call.

When McCain explained to Qonzilqointec the situation, she immediately boarded her luxury jet and flew up to Washington D.C.

She arrived at DARPA Headquarters wearing a see-through Versace evening dress.

She only paid €25,000 for this dress.

She had to laugh at her rival for world domination- the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis who stupidly paid €50,000 for her Versace evening dress and then ruined it by flying around Paris on a smog-filled evening and flying directly into the Eiffel Tower.

As Qonzilqointec walked by the guards outside DARPA headquarters while wearing her see-through Versace evening dress, she caused them to have huge bulging erections in their pants.

The sole exception was the guard who was gay.

Although the gay guard happened to have a crush on Justin Bieber and at that moment he was mentally conjuring in his mind those haunting yet so arousing TV images he saw of Justin Bieber in handcuffs.

So he too had a bulging erection in his trousers.

They got Qonzilqointec into the DARPA research lab where the Aztec Vampiress promptly mounted Pan Goatee’s giant ice cube and went to work.

“I’ll never be able to look at an ice cube in the same way again,” a DARPA administrator commented after watching the scene with riveted attention for several minutes.

“My wife’s going to notice that I’ll be spending even more time around the refrigerator than usual,” another DARPA administrator remarked.

“It’s alive,” a female DARPA scientist gasped.

“Oh yes, yes, yes!” Qonzilqointec screamed.

“I’m glad I use Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo on my body hair,” were Pan Goatee’s first words as he came back to life.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 18th
2014

Permalink Leave a Comment

Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec Phones Set On 66th Anniversary of Roswell Crash

July 8, 2013 at 7:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec Phones Set On 66th Anniversary Of Roswell

At 1800 hours Greenwich mean time, the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set received a phone call from the Mexico City based Aztec vampire Princess Qonzilqointec.

Her Vampiric Highness spoke in her usual sexy and sultry vampiress voice,  “It was 66 years ago today that a UFO crashed at Roswell, New Mexico.”

“And were you speaking to the pilot of the UFO just before he crashed?” Set asked as he spilled red wine all over himself.

“No, I wasn’t,” Qonzilqointec breathed into the phone like a lime Margarita going down one’s throat on a hot summer day.

“Then he died comfortless,”  Set grabbed a wet towel and wiped himself off.

“Was your chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher ever able to successfully clone the dead aliens from the DNA that Renfield stole from Area 51 in Nevada?” Qonzilqointec asked.

“Nothing successful so far,”  Set replied as he swallowed a Viagara tablet with his next sip of red wine.

“I think I can do something to help,” Qonzilqointec breathed into the phone like crystal clear water cascading down a waterfall.

“Yes?” Set felt a new erection coming on as Roger Whittaker sang I can feel a new tomorrow comin’ on… on the radio.

“If we can get Edward Snowden refuge in Venezuela, this will help our plans immensely,” Qonzilqointec soothed sultrily.

“It will?” Set was frozen in ecstasy.

“Yes,” Qonzilqointec sighed with the silkiness of black lace lingerie, “I was good friends with the late Hugo Chavez and I think I can convince the current Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro to receive Snowden.”

“I think you probably can,”  Set came with the full force of a volcanic eruption.

The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire put the phone down and called out to his valet,  “Athelstan, I think my pants need to be sent out to the dry cleaners.”

To be continued.

-Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec Phones Set On 66th Anniversary of Roswell Crash

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday evening
July 8th 2013

Permalink Leave a Comment