Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec Marks Nicolas Maduro’s 2nd Inauguration

January 10, 2019 at 11:52 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Espionage, International Intrigue, love, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )


The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec got up and walked away after she had successfully poisoned the head of Venezuela’s intelligence service.

She also had in her possession and in her purse the location of two Russian Tu-160 nuclear bombers (with nuclear bombs aboard) in Venzeula.

She’d be contacting British MP Renfield R. Renfield with that information.

She’d also be text messaging a photo of the head of the Venezuelan Intelligence Service (lying dead on the floor with a poisoned olive from a martini hanging from his mouth) to Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro moments after he was inaugurated for a second time.

The Aztec vampire princess would now be flying to Havana Cuba where she would watch Cuban President Miguel Diaz-Canal receive the Pope Francis Medal of Freedom Award presented to the Cuban leader by a leading Latin American liberation theology Jesuit theologian on behalf of the Pontiff.

She’d then meet with a United Nations official the vampire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky the head of the Communist Fourth International) and plot their strategy to talk actress Angelina Jolie into running for the Democratic Party Presidential nomination in 2020.

After the vaudeville papal awards ceremony and the Tomi meeting, she’d then have a tantric sex marathon with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a Havana hotel room.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 10th
2019.

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To Overthrow Maduro

February 1, 2018 at 11:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

To Overthrow Maduro

Renfield R. Renfield MP was sitting in his parliamentary office drinking from his Churchillian bottle of brandy.

Churchill’s image once again left the oil painting of Sir Winston Churchill that hung in Renfield’s office and sat in the chair across from him.

“So has Dr. Cadbury Rocher brought the vampire Dracula back from the dead so we can use him as our ally in the war against Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s coming revised Ottoman Empire?” Churchill asked.

“He has,” Renfield nodded, “but I’m afraid our dear old Count will have to rest for awhile so that his buttocks can recover from the sound tomatoing that dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes gave him.”

“Hm, pity,” Churchill drank from his spectral bottle of brandy, “so Sherrielock Holmes as an immortal is very much alive. I remember I had my own buttocks tomatoed 🍅 on occasion by the lovely Miss Holmes.”

“Her whip really does seem to get around,” Renfield felt a tingling in his own buttocks.

“I think our next plan should be to overthrow the government of the Marxist despot Nicolas Maduro in Venezuela,” Churchill finished his spectral bottle of brandy.

“And what do you have in mind?” Renfield asked.

“Listen carefully,” said Churchill as he lit a spectral cigar.

Renfield drew closer and immediately started choking on the ghostly smoke 💨.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 1st
2018.

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Renfield MP On The Crisis In Venezuela

August 3, 2017 at 3:30 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

“Holy orgasm, Batman,” said Boy Wonder Robin as he read the book on Tantric Sex.

Renfield turned off the television when he heard the knocking at the front door.

Funny, he hadn’t recalled ever seeing that particular episode of the 1960s Batman TV series with Adam West before.

Renfield opened the front door of the Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal London mansion only to see a horde of reporters standing out there.

“Mr. Renfield, Mr. Renfield, what do you think of the current situation in Venezuela?” A reporter asked the newly elected Vice-Chairman of the UK Parliamentary All-Party Committee On Foreign Affairs.

“Well, as you know,” Renfield lit himself a Cuban cigar as he spoke, “last April, I was in Venezuela plotting the overthrow of the Communist despot Nicolas Maduro’s government. Then of course Theresa May called a snap election and I had to come home to run as a Parliamentary candidate for the British Transhumanist Party that I founded. Mrs. May should have really had the consideration to wait until I had actually overthrown the Maduro regime before calling the election. But the best laid plans of shape-shifting hamsters and men are often led astray by the follies of airheads.”

“What about the recent vote for a new Constituent Assembly?” A reporter asked.

“A total sham,” Renfield answered, “the only people taken in by it are all these loser SJWs (Social Justice Warriors) who aren’t getting any sex and this lack of sex has led to stupidity on the brain which has caused them to embrace far left-wing causes which any sane rational person wouldn’t embrace.”

“Would you go back to Venezuela and overthrow the Maduro government then, Mr. Renfield?” another reporter asked.

“Well, I’d have to check with the Westminster House of Commons Ethics Commissioner first and see if it’s permissible for a sitting MP to overthrow a foreign government,” Renfield replied.

“That didn’t stop Tony Blair when it came to Saddam Hussein,” Amadeus quipped on the steps behind Renfield.

“Shut up, Amadeus,” Renfield angrily turned around and glared at the concert pianist furious that his friend had brought up an historical fact he had never considered when answering that question.

The Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (wearing a heavy Beijing Laboratories developed sunblock that prevented her from frying to a crisp in daylight), who was standing behind the reporters, smiled at the exchange.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday August 3rd
2017.


Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu touring the British Museum on her day in London

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Renfield At London’s Heathrow Airport

April 12, 2017 at 3:30 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield R. Renfield the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for Set Enterprises was waiting in line at London’s Heathrow Airport to check in for his flight.

Renfield was en route to Caracas Venezuela where he was to meet with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and put the finishing touches on a plot to overthrow the government of Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro.

Qonzilqointec’s spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had said that he was willing to leave his beloved Mexico for a few months and serve as Venezuela’s interim President until such time as new elections were called.

As Renfield looked out the window of the airport lounge, he noticed a bunch of bloodied, bruised and injured passengers lying outside on the airport tarmac.

“Good God,” he said to a lounge hostess, “has a terrorist attack just occurred at Heathrow?”.

“Oh no, sir,” the lounge hostess shook her head, “nothing like that. United Airlines overbooked one of its flights again. And those people down there are passengers who refused to volunteer to give up their seats and had to be removed off the plane.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 12th
2017.

United Airlines Passenger Assaulted
United Airlines: United we stand, divided we fall.

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Qonzilqointec Confronts Nicolas Maduro

February 4, 2017 at 2:12 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had been good friends with the late President of Venezuela Hugo Chavez.

She wasn’t on such good terms with his successor Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro feeling that he didn’t really have the genuine love for the people that Comrade Chavez did.

For at heart the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was a Marxist.

Even though she was an imperial royal princess of the Aztecs as well as the spiritual goddaughter of the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl.

She had turned the Russian Marxist Leon Trotsky into a vampire in Mexico City on August 21st 1940 a day after a Stalinist agent tried to assassinate him with an ice pick.

Today Leon Trotsky lived under the name Lev Tomi and was the head of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change.

These days Tomi was in constant touch with Pope Francis on the best way to bring about a Marxist Teilhardian Gaia friendly environmentalist New Age one world government.

Qonzilqointec was a powerful vampiress with spies everywhere.

She often used her lover the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to extract information.

And Qonzilqointec had become aware of a conspiracy by Albert Pike clone Robur Pike (aka Robur The Conquerer II) to assassinate Cuban President Raul Castro.

And Pike was going to do it through the weak-willed Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro who had fallen underneath the charms of a magician’s assistant named Maria.

Maria with her silvery lace panties had been quickly replaced on the couch by hypnotist Salaman The Magician with his gold watch.

Salaman had hypnotized Maduro into thinking that the ghost of Hugo Chavez wanted him Maduro to shoot and kill Raul Castro..

Now Maduro was on his way to his private airport to fly a jet to Havana to carry out the mission.

At the airport, Maduro was confronted by the sight of the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec wearing a tight-fitting orangish red mini dress, tan pantyhose and spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes.

“Good evening, your Highness,” Maduro bowed low to hide his erection.

Qonzilqointec kicked him in the forehead with one of her spiked stilettos.

Maduro hit the pavement.

She directed the priests of Quetzalcoatl with her to take Maduro to a Caracas meditation room for re-programming.

Qonzilqointec emailed Dracul Van Helsing with details of her successful mission as well as a photo of her outfit.

Dracul who had formed an alliance with Renfield R. Renfield (the Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set) against the Rome based Egyptian vampire Osiris showed his new found ally the picture.

Renfield fell off his chair.

Ever the geopolitical analyst, Dracul remarked, “This is probably why Trump issued that memo for women in the White House to dress like women. He’s obviously very much aware how effective a weapon of war that a woman dressed like a woman can be.”

“Something,” Renfield got back up on his chair, “that the lesbian blowhards in Hillary’s camp have never been able to figure out.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday February 4th
2017.

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Pike’s Plan

February 3, 2017 at 12:43 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Yes, the Golden Circle superstate would come into existence, Robur Pike reflected.

And Havana, Cuba would be its capital.

But of course something would have to be done about Cuban President Raul Castro.

Fortunately Cuban Revolution senior statesman Fidel Castro had done the Knights of the Golden Circle a favour and kicked the bucket back in November.

But Cuban President Raul Castro was still alive and kicking.

And plotting to establish a Marxist New World Order that would receive the Apostolic Blessing of Pope Francis.

Robur Pike figured he’d better nip that in the bud right away.

He crushed a white rose and a red rose that he had bought from an elderly Cuban woman who was selling roses in the cafe.

Pike already knew how Raul Castro would be killed. And by whom.

. . .

Salaman the Magician was in Caracas, Venezuela.

In addition to being a successful stage magician, Salaman was also a successful hypnotist.

And he had been hired by a certain individual to hypnotize Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro.

Which is what he was currently doing at the moment.

“Nicolas,” Salaman spoke softly, “listen to me. I am the ghost of Comrade Chavez.”

“You are the ghost of Comrade Chavez,” Maduro spoke in a zombie like voice.

You shall do exactly as I say,” Salaman directed.

“I shall do exactly as you say, Comrade Hugo,” Maduro continued his impersonation of American actor Chuck Norris at his dramatic speaking voice best.

. . .

Raul Castro got off the phone.

He looked at his aide Juan Ernesto Garcia.

“I just got the most peculiar phone call from President Maduro of Venezuela,” Castro pushed the Freeze button on the DVD of the movie The Manchurian Candidate that he had been watching.

“Really?” Juan gave his leader his undivided attention.

“Yes, he needs to see me right away for some reason,” Castro frowned, “he says he’s flying to Havana tonight in his private jet.”

Meanwhile at Havana Airport, another private jet was flying out of the country. Headed towards the Middle East. Robur Pike bid the lights of Havana good-bye from his window.

He then lay back in his plane’s hot tub, sipped on a martini and thanked Lucifer that he wasn’t a Syrian refugee.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday February 1st
2017.

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Qonzilqointec Melts The Ice

March 18, 2014 at 7:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Melts The Ice

The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec had been called by her good friend Arizona Sen. John McCain asking for help in de-thawing the U.S. government’s most pre-eminent hired assassin Pan Goatee.

The astral projecting genetically created half-man half- goat satyr and professional serial killer turned U.S. government agent had been frozen in a terrible Washington D.C. snow storm several weeks ago.

Despite all their best efforts while burning the midnight oil (especially burning the midnight oil) the top research scientists at DARPA could not de-thaw the creature.

In desperation, one of the directors of DARPA phoned John McCain for help.

In turn, McCain turned to his friend Princess Qonzilqointec.

McCain figured that a hot looking young looking 600- odd year old Aztec Vampiress (like most women over 30, she wouldn’t reveal her true age) who looked the spitting image of the hot and sultry actress Salma Hayek might be sizzlingly hot enough to de-thaw Pan Goatee.

So McCain phoned Qonzilqointec.

He had to wait half an hour while Her Vampiric Highness chewed out Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro on the other line.

She told Maduro that he was a despot and a tyrant who oppressed his people and that he had neither the charisma nor compassion of his predecessor Hugo Chavez.

She told Maduro that he didn’t have the testicles Chavez did and she included in that the state of testicles of Chavez’s currently decomposing body.

After Maduro hung up the phone to have a much needed bowel movement, Qonzilqointec took Sen. McCain’s call.

When McCain explained to Qonzilqointec the situation, she immediately boarded her luxury jet and flew up to Washington D.C.

She arrived at DARPA Headquarters wearing a see-through Versace evening dress.

She only paid €25,000 for this dress.

She had to laugh at her rival for world domination- the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis who stupidly paid €50,000 for her Versace evening dress and then ruined it by flying around Paris on a smog-filled evening and flying directly into the Eiffel Tower.

As Qonzilqointec walked by the guards outside DARPA headquarters while wearing her see-through Versace evening dress, she caused them to have huge bulging erections in their pants.

The sole exception was the guard who was gay.

Although the gay guard happened to have a crush on Justin Bieber and at that moment he was mentally conjuring in his mind those haunting yet so arousing TV images he saw of Justin Bieber in handcuffs.

So he too had a bulging erection in his trousers.

They got Qonzilqointec into the DARPA research lab where the Aztec Vampiress promptly mounted Pan Goatee’s giant ice cube and went to work.

“I’ll never be able to look at an ice cube in the same way again,” a DARPA administrator commented after watching the scene with riveted attention for several minutes.

“My wife’s going to notice that I’ll be spending even more time around the refrigerator than usual,” another DARPA administrator remarked.

“It’s alive,” a female DARPA scientist gasped.

“Oh yes, yes, yes!” Qonzilqointec screamed.

“I’m glad I use Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo on my body hair,” were Pan Goatee’s first words as he came back to life.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 18th
2014

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