The Basilisk and The Fire At Notre Dame Cathedral

April 15, 2019 at 9:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Set Enterprises’ resident sanity challenged scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher entered British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s office with a face whiter than a ghost.

“Your face is whiter than I am,” the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill remarked.

“And me as well,” commented the ghost of Orson Welles who was still in a state of shock over the fact that someone commenting on Dracul Van Helsing’s blog had never heard of him Orson Welles.

“And whiter than I am,” added the ghost of the late Ugandan dictator Idi Amin who had dropped into Renfield’s office just for the Hell of it.

“It’s this fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris,” Rocher sat down and helped himself to a bottle of Renfield’s whiskey.

“A devastating tragedy for all of humanity,” Renfield agreed.

And the ghosts of Churchill, Amin and Welles nodded their assent.

Within seconds, Amin’s ghost was chased back to the Underworld by Hades’ 3-headed dog Cerberus since it was Underworld policy that dictators and despots inclined to ethnic genocide should not be allowed to leave the place.

Amin returned to his spit alongside King Leopold II of Belgium down in Tartarus.

“Look at these photos someone text messaged me an hour ago,” Dr. Rocher showed Renfield his phone.

“Unholy smoke, Batman!” Renfield exclaimed, “They show a Jesuit priest (wearing his Jesuit robes and a t-shirt emblazoned with a photo of Aleister Crowley) riding a medieval basilisk and setting fire to repair scaffolding at Notre Dame with the basilisk’s fiery venom.”

“But I thought basilisks died out with the end of the Middle Ages,” Churchill bit the end of his spectral cigar, “so the Renaissance pope Julius II wrote in his diary when he hired Michelangelo to paint the Sistine Chapel in celebration of the death of the last basilisk.”

“Undoubtedly one of those evil 21st Century Transhumanist scientists has genetically re-created a basilisk again just to show the world they could do it,” Welles sipped a spectral glass of red wine.

“That would be me,” Dr. Rocher did a bad impersonation of American comic Bob Newhart whenever the comedian was caught with his pants down- metaphorically speaking (unlike Bill Clinton).

“You recreated a basilisk?” Renfield was shocked (and resolved never to screw in a lightbulb on his own again).

“I did,” Dr. Rocher held his head in shame, “just to show the world I could do it.”

“What did I tell you?” Welles’ ghost finished his wine and thought back to a radio commercial he once did about frozen peas growing in the ground in Norway in mid-July.

“Oh, shut up, Orson,” Churchill’s ghost was getting irritated.

“And you let this Jesuit have it?” Renfield wiped his spectacles, “Don’t you know that a great multitude of Jesuits are a bunch of satanic perverts?”.

“This Jesuit stole it from the barn where it was being held for safekeeping,” Dr. Rocher blubbered, “along with a Nazi vampire who’s the last surviving member of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau.”

“These Nazis never get up to any good,” Renfield fumed over his glass of whiskey.

“Agreed,” Chuchill’s ghost affirmed as he fumed over his glass of brandy.

“Most Jesuits never get up to any good either,” Welles poured himself another spectral glass of red wine and recalled a conversation he once had with film director Alfred Hitchcock on the subject.

On the television in Renfield’s office, the Kraken Napoleon VI addressed the world media with the fire smouldering Notre Dame in the background.

“My wife Medusa and I were married in that cathedral,” the Kraken wept octopus (as opposed to crocodile) tears, “we had ourselves crowned Emperor and Empress of France in that Cathedral even though most French citizens never recognized the coronation. The Egyptian vampiress Isis pushed world-famous Swiss scientist Dr. Fahrenheit Celsius to his death from the bell tower of Notre Dame. And Dr. Cadbury Rocher used the vampiress Isis’ secret laboratory below Notre Dame (which isn’t so secret anymore now that I just blabbed about it) to re-assemble the sub-atomic particles of the vampire Osiris after he had been disintegrated by a Russian laser death ray.”

“I didn’t know you had done that?” Renfield looked at Dr. Cadbury Rocher, “Does Set know you did that?”.

“He does now,” Dr. Rocher sighed.

Putting on a tartan kilt and a t-shirt emblazoned with a photo of Mel Gibson as Braveheart William Wallace, the Kraken swore to the world media that he would destroy whoever and whatever was responsible for the fire that engulfed Notre Dame.

“Wait until my great-grandmother the immortal dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes finds out I was the one responsible for creating the basilisk that caused the fire that engulfed Notre Dame,” Dr. Rocher continued to snivel, “I’ll be unable to sit down comfortably for the next decade.”

“With all due respect, Dr. Rocher,” Renfield admonished, “with this devastation of a great French, European and world cultural landmark, the prospect that your buttocks will be in the upmost suffering and agony for the next 10 years seems the least pressing of all the major problems afflicting the world at the present moment.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 15th
2019.


The immortal world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes:
Will get to the bottom of whoever was responsible for creating the basilisk that caused the fire that engulfed Notre Dame

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The Basilisk Freed

April 13, 2019 at 9:53 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Franz Kohler of the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau was furious that Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had beaten him to a meeting with Semiramis back in the year 1948.

The meeting led Set Enterprises rather than the Ahnenerbe to discover the whereabouts of the tomb of Alexander the Great.

Kohler was anxious for vengeance.

He had heard that Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher was trying to genetically re-create a medieval basilisk – a creature that was a hybrid of a serpent and a rooster.

Kohler thought that if this basilisk was released on the world, this would generate tremendous bad publicity for Set Enterprises.

Even worse than that of Monsanto for its GMOs.

Still someone would have to control the Basilisk and allow the Ahnenerbe to use the creature to its advantage.

Kohler knew the Jesuit priest Father Caiaphas bar Yochai who worked in the Antiquities Section of the Vatican Museum.

Father bar Yochai was both a Jesuit and a practicing occultist.

Father Caiaphas had also injected himself with basilisk venom which was to be found in a secret closet in the catacombs beneath the Vatican.

This made him immune to both the basilisk’s venomous bite and venomous gaze.

Father Caiaphas was taken by Kohler to the British farm where Dr. Rocher had kept the basilisk hidden from prying eyes.

There Father Caiaphas freed the basilisk and flew the strange creature to France.

Kohler intended to have the basilisk released on the French countryside thereby creating bad relations between the British and French just as Britain was trying to peacefully leave the European Union in an orderly Brexit.

The basilisk attacked lovely churches in the French countryside and destroyed them doing what the Vatican II modernists had so far not managed to do.

The chaos and the fire blanketed the skies of rural France.

“This does not look good,” the Kraken Napoleon VI remarked to his wife Medusa as he saw the rural parish church of Saint Bernadette’s destroyed by the basilisk’s venomous fire.

The Kraken had come to the Church to confess his sin of having briefly been a Scientologist to the parish priest there.

The poor Kraken would have to seek absolution elsewhere.

The basilisk meanwhile was burning down the Saint Bernadette Church’s parish priest’s library which had a large collection of books written by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger.

“Splendid,” Father Caiaphas bar Yochai laughed as he rode the basilisk.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 13th
2019.

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Basil and The Basilisk: A Poem

March 26, 2019 at 10:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Poetry, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Basil was a farmer about his business
He milked the cows
fed the pigs
and gathered eggs of the chickens
But he did not enter the green barn
For the green barn contained a creature
he would have no dealings with.

The green barn was leased by Set Enterprises in London
Whatever experiments in that barn went beyond that sanctioned
by both God and man
Dr. Cadbury Rocher who showed up in a black Jaguar car one day
And then a red Jaguar car the next
And went around saying “The devil is in the details”
Gave Basil the farmer both a medieval bestiary
and the Naturalis Historia of Pliny the Elder
And marked pages saying, “Read, should you feel the inclination
to enter the green barn”

Now Basil’s Latin wasn’t exactly up to snuff
(his wife had cured him of the irritating habit of sticking
tobacco up his nose and then sneezing when they were first married)
but J.K. Rowling occasionally came to the Farmers’ Market in a nearby town to shop
So he asked her to translate from the original Latin

What he heard from Rowling turned his hair on end
He told his wife what he had heard
And both agreed they should never enter the green barn

Not of course they had any inkling to do so before
For a giant rooster in a cage had been taken into the barn
and then a giant snake in a cage
Then the sound of two different species but same genders co-mingling
in the night
While the Baphomet stood outside the barn saying,
“Everything is all right,
We need to open our minds
And cast aside old prejudices”
Pope Francis gave his apostolic blessing
via satellite transmission
and the Mayor of San Francisco said
This was bringing tears to his eyes

One night a man came to the farmhouse door
claiming to be a traveling guru
And asking food and shelter for the night
Basil and Bella agreed.

“There is no God”, the guru assured them with the solemnity of a Richard Dawkins
And then smiled,
“For God is within”
He took some Rolaids tablets for his heartburn
“There is no Devil either,” the guru smiled, “We create our own gods and devils. Good and evil are within us.”
He chewed some Exlax tablets
“And then project those outwards on to our surroundings”
“Where is your washroom?” The guru asked Farmer Basil
for the aftereffects of the externally applied medication
turned out to be fast acting.

“And there are times we are called upon to run like the wind”
The traveling guru remarked as he ran up the stairs

When he came back, he asked, “Where should I sleep?”
“I hope you don’t mind the kitchen floor,” Farmer Basil replied,
“For we only have the one bedroom and my wife and I
just bought the Dracul Van Helsing Guide To Tantric Sex and are looking forward to applying it tonight”
“We just watched MP Renfield R. Renfield on the telly tonight,” Bella smiled, “he was complaining about the fact that Van Helsing had tantric sex with the current heiress to the Queen of Sheba’s throne in Jerusalem last Saturday and then had tantric sex with the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec during a raging sea storm on the Isle of Patmos last night”

“Such astounding declarations make me wonder whether it was right for me to take the path of celibacy,” the guru had temporarily lost his beatific Buddha like smile
“What about the green barn over there?” The guru pointed outside,
“It seems very large. I could sleep there.”

“That is the habitat of the Basilisk,” Basil replied, “a creature of legend and mythology that has been resurrected in the modern world
thanks to the Transhumanist experiments of one Dr. Cadbury Rocher of
Set Enterprises”
“Basilisk?” The guru blinked.
“A serpent king that is a hybrid of a rooster and a serpent” Basil answered
“And like Empire actor Jussie Smollett,” Bella added, “is immune to criminal prosecution since it’s considered politically incorrect to do so.”
Basil went on, “The Basilisk is so venomous, it leaves a wide trail of deadly venom in its wake. And its gaze is likewise lethal.”
“The sort of entity that Bill Clinton would marry but not have an extramarital affair with,” Bella pointed out.

“Well, I ain’t afraid of no Basilisk,” the guru paraphrased a lyric from the theme song to the original 1984 Ghostbusters movie.
Basil and Bella looked at him.
“Like I’ve been trying to tell you, we create our own reality,” the guru said, “Like attracts like. Positive attracts positive. Negative attracts negative. I shall enter the green barn with positive thoughts and no harm shall come to me.”
The guru entered the barn.
There was no noise.

Basil and Bella went back into the farmhouse.
The next morning a Set Enterprises team came out like they did every morning
Dressed like Star Wars Imperial Stormtroopers in their protective suits
They carried out the body of the guru
who had turned to stone
Under the Basilisk’s venemous gaze
(As did creatures under Medusa’s gaze of old)

The Basilisk was obviously not subject to whatever reality
The guru thought he could create
with his own mind.

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 26th
2019.


Bella has gazed on many things but will not gaze on the Basilisk

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