Birthday

November 28, 2019 at 10:44 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Life, Romance, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Birthday

His birthday fell on U.S. Thanksgiving this year.

And he was Canadian.

So his birthday would be being marked south of the border.

Rita Hayworth was his favourite actress.

Although he had daydreamed about her, she had never appeared in any of his dreams as he slept.

Possibly the new year of his life was off to a good start as he had dreamed about her in the early morning.

In his dream, he had been a detective.

And he had been called in with his cousins to solve a mystery of a rock music band who had mysteriously disappeared on his uncle’s farm.

And Rita Hayworth was his assistant who helped him solve the mystery.

Or at least he assumed he had solved the mystery.

He woke up just as he dreamed he was kissing her.

But still that was off to a good start.

Usually he always woke up before he got the chance to kiss any beautiful woman who appeared in his dream.

He walked outside to shovel the snow.

As a great deal of snow had fallen over night.

As he walked down the steps of the house where he rented a basement room, he noticed rabbit tracks in the snow around the front yard.

That was always a good sign for a new year of life.

As rabbits always made him think of his father who had been born in the Chinese zodiac year of the Rabbit.

. . .

Xi Jinping the paramount leader of China wondered who this mysterious Mr. Inn Lu was in Sydney Australia who was hiding a PRC (People’s Republic of China) Ministry of State Security intelligence defector named Wang in one of his Sydney safe houses.

Wang defected with the help of another Ministry of State Security operative the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (granddaughter of Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh).

Ho herself then went and defected to Taiwan.

Xi tried to get ahold of another Ministry of State Security official the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu to try to track down both defectors.

But she didn’t seem to be answering her Huawei smart phone.

. . .

“Well, Mei-ling,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked his vampiress friend from Beijing, “What have you come to tell me?”.

“Well,” Mei-ling licked her vampiress incisors with her tongue, “I’ve decided to overthrow China’s megalomaniac totalitarian despot Xi Jinping and make myself Empress of China.”

“An excellent idea,” Renfield sipped his brandy, “what can I do to help?”.

. . .

Inside a time tunnel in a mountain hideout, the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec was about to set out with her companion:

“Well, Dracul,” she asked Van Helsing, “are you ready to begin our mission?”.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday November 28th
2019.

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Qonzilqointec, The Federal Reserve and Ho Babylon Minh

September 20, 2019 at 10:58 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec, The Federal Reserve and Ho Babylon Minh

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec took a selfie of herself prior to going out with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing to meet British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, the Irish border leprechaun Yaldabaoth, the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist MEP the Kraken Napoloeon VI and his ex-Gorgon wife Medusa to find a possible solution to the Brexit crisis involving the Irish backstop.

Qonzilqointec’s spiritual godfather the Aztec feathered serpent god Quetzalcoatl had offered to intervene as a mediator in the dispute between Britain and the EU.

Britain’s NHS (National Health Service) had informed Mr. Johnson however that the NHS was not able to give Mr. Quetzalcoatl the amount of living human hearts he required as payment for his mediation services.

Meanwhile the American news media was full of the story that Donald Trump had asked the government of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky to investigate Democratic Presidential candidate Joe Biden’s son Hunter for corruption.

As the American news media were busy wringing their hands over this, Amadeus Emanon the musician and singer who was employed as personal concert pianist to the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was more concerned about a small news story that had appeared in the Wall Street Journal today – a story that was taken down off its news website a few hours later although it could still be found if one used a search engine to search for it but unless people knew that the story was out there, they most likely would not search for it.

The story was the Federal Reserve Bank of New York was offering to add at least $75 billion daily to the financial system until October 10th to ensure the liquidity of the financial system.

The Wall Street Journal added that the Fed will conduct further operations as needed after October 10th.

Amadeus could have asked his employer Set about the matter but the Egyptian god of night and the desert was currently on a vision quest and attending a Cree First Nation sweat lodge ceremony at Elk Island National Park in the Canadian province of Alberta.

So Amadeus went to ask his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield the Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering instead.

“Wasn’t the Fed doing something similar to this before the global financial crisis of 2008?” Amadeus asked.

“It was,” Renfield admitted.

“God,” Amadeus turned pale, “I wish you had broken it to me gently in answering this question.”

“Well I’m sorry,” said Renfield, “but I haven’t been in politics as long as Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau have in order to come up with real whoppers to shield people from unpleasant truth and reality.”

Mammon, the ancient Babylonian god of banking and commerce and patron demon of wealthy elitist oligarchs, isn’t too concerned about the impact that another global financial crisis might have on average folks and those who are struggling below the poverty level 

Meanwhile in Australia, a notorious Australian misfit known to all as Uncle Ernie had (because he was stoned out of his mind) walked into the ladies’ washroom of a prestigious restaurant in Sydney’s Chinatown where he encountered the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh who was currently working for the Chinese Communist government in Beijing:

“Jesus!” exclaimed Uncle Ernie, “I need to get my hands on some Viagra quick!”.

He then passed out.

-A vampire novel chapter 
Written by Christopher
Friday September 20th
2019.

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Chaos Rising As The Cosmos Crumbles

September 12, 2019 at 10:57 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Chaos Rising As The Cosmos Crumbles

Pan Goatee was walking across the street when a man and his German shepherd dog happened to walk by.

The dog kept staring at Pan Goatee.

Finally Goatee said to the dog’s owner, “Doesn’t your dog know it’s not proper etiquette to stare?”.

Whereupon he beheaded both the German shepherd and its owner.

A little further down the street came an ugly looking woman riding a bicycle.

“What is it about autumn that seems to bring out ugly looking women on bicycles?” Goatee thought to himself.

The woman looked like she had stuck all her fingers and all her toes in an electric socket as her hair style seemed to resemble that of the Bride of Frankenstein on a bad (as opposed to her usually good) hair day.

“Good-bye, uglo,” Goatee commented as he beheaded her.

. . .

“What do you think of my naming Kermit the Frog as my national security advisor?” Donald Trump asked his British butler and valet Lexington, “Do you think that I should give old Kermy a call?”.

“A most inspired choice,” Lexington admitted.

. . .

Meanwhile on the second day of the Canadian Federal election campaign, a Liberal Party campaign bus had struck and clipped the wing of the Liberal Party campaign plane on the airport tarmac outside Victoria, British Columbia.

After an investigation conducted by the Sheriff of the Village of Calypso’s Bosom (a New Age Aquarian hippy commune on the Sechelt Peninsula that was analogous to Scotland’s Village of Brigadoon although the hippy commune appeared once every 7 years instead of once every 100 like the mythical Scottish village) who was in charge of Airport Security, it was determined that the driver of the bus was a robot built and assembled by Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh Computer Electronics in Shanghai, China.

Of course the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu and the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh were both Beijing government intelligence operatives believed to have been involved in the cactusnapping, torture and subsequent murder of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s pet pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever in retaliation for the U.S. ordered Vancouver arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou. 

A spokesman for the Chinese Embassy in Ottawa issued a statement, “The People’s Republic of China can neither confirm nor deny that it is seeking to bump off Justin Trudeau.”

Later that day, Justin Trudeau came down with food poisoning in Edmonton after eating at Ho-Ho’s Chinese Food on the University of Alberta campus.

. . .

The Egyptian god Anubis was out walking the streets of London at night when he happened to run into British Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

“Evening, Anubis,” Johnson greeted him in Ancient Greek seeing as how he had been a Classics scholar at Oxford, “How are you? Tell me, why is it these days (and nights) that you’re now sporting a metallic cyborg jackal head when you used to have an actual real animal jackal head?”.

“Well, a few years ago, I was beheaded by Pan Goatee when I happened to look at him the wrong way,” Anubis explained, “and of course being immortal, I didn’t die when I was beheaded. But it just so happened that an overly frisky Dobermann ran off with my jackal head that night and I was unable to get it back. So Dr. Cadbury Rocher from my dad’s research and development firm Set Enterprises kindly built this new metallic cyborg jackal head for me.”

“Jolly decent of him,” Johnson answered in Ciceronian Latin.

“Tell me,” Anubis asked Johnson in koine Greek, “why do you feel it’s imperative that Britain leave the EU with or without a deal on Halloween?”.

“Well,” Johnson replied in ancient Carthaginian, “the demons Baal and Baphomet have commissioned a Vatican Cardinal Samhain Cardinal Salaman to say the ancient Celtic Druidic Mass of Samhain this Halloween on the Republic of Ireland/UK Northern Ireland border which will forever enslave all of Britain to the Stalinist-Trotskyite synthesis European Union that George Soros, Pope Francis and the Rothschilds are seeking to build.”

“Wow, what a bummer,” Anubis started having flashbacks of what the overly frisky Dobermann did to his jackal head that night.

“Yes, quite the shitty situation,” Johnson recited in 21st Century contemporary English prose.

. . .

“So,” Russian President Vladimir Putin asked his guest Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu in Moscow, “can you tell me if it’s true that this coming September 25th 2019 (which is the 5780th anniversary of the day that Jewish tradition holds that the world was created) that the Israeli Sanhedrin has invited the Organization of 70 Nations to perform an animal sacrifice on the Mount of Olives to renew the Noahide Covenant?”.

“The government of Israel can neither confirm nor deny that,” Netanyahu answered.

“Can you tell me if it’s true,” Putin then asked, “what it said in that article in Politico magazine that Israel has been spying on the U.S. in a StingRay operation ever since Donald Trump moved into the White House?”.

“That is a blatant lie,” Netanyahu wagged his finger, “the Israeli government does not spy on nor engage in intelligence operations in the U.S.!”.

Putin looked out the window of his office where he noticed a Jeffraken (a Kraken with the head of Jeffrey Epstein) walking down the street waving an American flag and carrying a Victoria’s Secret shopping bag.

“Why did your nose grow bigger after you made that statement?” Putin asked.

“My nose did not grow bigger,” Netanyahu started to protest until he looked at himself in the mirror, “Oh shit, it did.”

Netanyahu knew he couldn’t hit the Israeli campaign trail this weekend looking like a Disney cartoon character wooden puppet who gets his advice from a cricket.

The Israeli Prime Minister put in a hasty call to the Doctor Faberge Rachmaninoff Plastic Surgery Clinic in Moscow.

. . .

In Hong Kong, British MI-6 Operative Lili Marlene sat in a Hong Kong lounge next to a large marble head of the immortal princess Kwan Yin (who was venerated as the Buddhist Mother Goddess of Mercy by some groups of Buddhists):

Lili Marlene was a French woman and so used to work for France’s external intelligence agency the DGSE.

However last year, French President Emmanuel Macron had made a pass at Lili Marlene’s mother at a Parisienne cocktail party.

Within 24 hours, an angry Lili Marlene had defected to Britain’s MI-6.

Today she was in Hong Kong keeping tabs on the supernatural power struggle between the ancient Great Old One Cthulhu and the supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday September 12th
2019.

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The Last Hours of Strawberry Fields Forever

September 5, 2019 at 11:04 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The Last Hours of Strawberry Fields Forever

“Performing live human sacrifices to Moloch is the way we can stop climate change from giving hot flashes to Earth Mother Goddess Gaia.”

-Bernie Sanders, senile socialist Democratic Party candidate for President of the U.S.

CNN’s Anderson Cooper: At a campaign stop today, Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders was hit in the face with a cream pie thrown at him by an invisible entity.
Although according to Harvey Wallbanger drinking secret service agents assigned to guard Sanders (who’s no relation to the beloved Kentucky colonel who invented KFC), it was a 6 foot 8 Welsh pooka bunny rabbit who threw the cream pie.

. . .

Meanwhile up in Canada, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was quite impressed with a British House of Lords friend of Renfield R. Renfield singing a song in the House of Lords about British Labour Party leader Jeremy Corbyn miraculously growing a pair of testicles.

Trudeau thought it might be cool if he miraculously grew a pair of testicles as well.

So Justin imagined what it would be like if he had a pair of testicles.

Picturing himself with a sudden shot of testosterone, Justin gave a blistering speech attacking China for holding two Canadians Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor hostage in return for the release of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou from Canada.

Said Trudeau who imagined himself as a Québécois John Wayne riding tall in the saddle, “Beijing is using pressure tactics. China is using arbitrary detention as a tool to achieve political goals.”

Of course Justin never mentioned that his personal pet pot smoking cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever was also being held hostage by Chinese authorities in return for the release of Meng Wanzhou.

“This is unacceptable to Canada,” Justin preached to the editorial board of the Toronto Star newspaper.

Of course Justin’s new found Sylvester Stallone style Rambo act went over like a lead balloon with China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping and his supernatural entity advisor the Black Dragon.

With the music of Led Zeppelin’s Stairway To Heaven playing in the background, the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu entered the prison cell of Strawberry Fields Forever where he was being held in a re-education camp for transgendered Uighurs in the Xinjiang region of northwest China.

She had a pair of pliers and pair of scissors with her.

As the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (the granddaughter of Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh) filmed the whole thing, Mei-ling Manchu ripped and peeled the little desert cactus plant to pieces as it uttered blood curdling screams.

Ho uploaded the video to Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and Instagram.

The pieces were then put in a box and sent via Amazon parcel delivery to Justin’s home in Ottawa.

The Chinese authorities wisely did not use Canada Post as it would probably take another 70 years before the package reached its destination.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Thursday September 5th
2019.


Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu having a refreshing cocktail after having dismembered Strawberry Fields Forever the pet pot smoking cactus plant of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

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Special Firing Line Episode On PBS: Ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. Interviews British MP Renfield R. Renfield

February 9, 2019 at 11:48 pm (Commentary, Culture, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Due to the cosmic intertwining of the CERN Large Hadron Collidor in Switzerland and Dracul Van Helsing’s time travelling Houdini-Tesla-Pantages prototype Magic Lantern in a West Hollywood repertory movie theatre, this year’s supernaturally produced episode of PBS’ Firing Line featuring the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. interviewing British MP Renfield R. Renfield was able to be watched by actor Jimmy Stewart and actress Lana Turner on the set of the film Ziegfeld Girl in 1941.

Due to Hades the Greek god of the Underworld wanting to see it happen and His Conceited Humbleness Pope Francis not wanting to see it happen, Hades ordered the temporary dispensational release of the ghost of the conservative commentator William F. Buckley Jr. from Purgatory to interview British MP Renfield R. Renfield on a special episode of the PBS public affairs show Firing Line on television.

Studio floor director for the show would be the ghost of Orson Welles.

The studio audience would be made up of the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill surrounded by the ghosts of the greatest of the female Ziegfeld Follies girls of the 1920s and ’30s.

As the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill sat in the audience with a big cigar, an ample bottle of brandy and one huge smile on his face, the show began.

“So, tell me, Mr. Renfield,” Buckley’s ghost sat there with a huge spectral copy of The Complete and Unabridged Oxford Dictionary on his lap giving him a spectral hernia, “if you could sum up what’s wrong with the state of America today in just one sentence, what would you say?”.

“Well,” Renfield poured himself a 20 ounce glass of Jack Daniel’s, “if you keep in mind that the terms I use in my statement are the terms exactly as defined by the Greek philosopher Plato in his work The Republic, America’s biggest problem is that its left wing oligarchy suffers from the massive delusion that it is a genuine aristocracy while its rightist tyrant suffers from the massive delusion that he is a genuine monarch.”

“I say,” Buckley was impressed, “That’s quite good actually.”

“Thank you,” Renfield grinned.

In the studio audience, Churchill’s ghost applauded as a lovely and very curvy Ziegfeld girl massaged his cigar.

In the TV audience at home watching, Bill Clinton seethed with jealousy as he saw Churchill’s cigar being massaged.

As for Hillary, she seethed with indignation at Renfield’s comment about the left wing oligarchy since it hit a little too close to home for her liking.

“And what of Russia?” Buckley asked as he sipped from a cup of tea with a picture of the late Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev on it bearing the tattoed inscription LOSER on his forehead.

“Well,” Renfield ignored the Russian bear (possessed by the ghost of Rasputin) operating Camera #2 trying to hypnotize him with his magnetic looking eyes, “Russia’s problem is Vladimir Putin who’s trying to create a country that’s a synthesis of old Czarist Imperial Russia and the Stalinist Soviet Union. Such a synthesis is ultimately bound to fail.”

“And what then should Putin do?” Buckley asked as he picked up a copy of Nikolay Chernyshevsky’s 1863 novel What Is To Be Done?.

“Drop the Stalinist model and concentrate all efforts on Czarist Imperial Russia returning,” Renfield remarked as he drank from a very rare 1894 bottle of Russian vodka.

“Hear! Hear!” Churchill’s ghost ejaculated as his right leg was being massaged by a beautiful and very lovely White Russian exile girl Ziegfeld dancer.

“And what about China?” Buckley asked as he ate from a Lydo Chinese Food Styrofoam carton that had a picture of Richard M. Nixon and Chairman Mao Tse-tung eating 1000-year-old eggs and washing them down with bucketloads of French champagne on the carton cover.

“Well,” Renfield gazed at the lovely Asian dragon emblazoned slit skirted dress wearing vampiresses the Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (daughter of the late Dr. Fu Manchu so maligned by Sax Rohmer) and the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh (granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh) who were espionage operatives for the Beijing government and were standing at the back of the studio, “China is the world’s true superpower while America is the Wizard of Oz full of hot air and sitting behind a curtain and trying to shadow box with others by using faded silhouettes of its former glory.”

“My country reduced to the light and shadow contrasts of dark alleys and dying street lamps of the set of an old Film Noir movie,” the ghost of Orson Welles made a cameo appearance statement to the camera.

“On another matter,” Buckley smiled with the beatific smile of a smiling Buddha as the Shall We Dance? theme from the movie The King and I played in the background, “why have your former boss the London based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and his Persian carpet warehouse business partner the Persian goddess Anahita decided to try and make Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya the next Prime Minister of Thailand?”.

Renfield looked like he had been hit by a sledgehammer (which he would have been by both Mei-ling Manchu and Ho Babylon Minh on orders of the entity known as the Black Dragon if he hadn’t answered the question about China in the correct way).

“What?” Renfield looked totally shocked.

“Well,” Renfield regained his composure, “it’s like the man said to the mousetrap when it caught ahold of his testicles, You’ve really got me there.”

-A vampire novel
written by Christopher
Saturday February 9th
2019.


Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya: The billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and the Persian goddess Anahita want her to become the next Prime Minister of Thailand.


Homage is being paid to Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya by Watson Holmes the Executive Vice-President of Set Enterprises


Thai Princess Ubolratana Rajakanya: Renfield R. Renfield was unable to answer the $64 million dollar question about her connection to Set and Anahita posed by the ghost of William F. Buckley Jr. on the PBS public affairs program Firing Line.


The Persian goddess Anahita: What does she have planned for Thailand?
Only the vampire Set and her hairdresser know for sure.

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The Clock of Thoth: A Poem

January 14, 2019 at 11:53 pm (Art, Arts, Film, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, History, International Intrigue, love, Movies, Mythology, News, Philosophy, Poetry, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Tefna listening to the sound of the Clock of Thoth tick.

The young woman called Tefna
was in her apartment bedroom
listening to the sound of
the Clock of Thoth tick

A clock designed by her father
A master clock maker
At the stroke and bong of each hour
Two figures would come out
The first was Thoth
The ibis headed ancient Egyptian god
Of the moon, magic and writing
And of course the Egyptian god who
was the recorder of time

The other figure was an Egyptian Pharaoh
who bore the likeness of the young
Actor/Director Orson Welles
The year was 1945
The date was August 6th
Feast of the Transfiguration
On the Church calendar
When Christ showed his Divine Deity
To his Apostles Peter, James and John

Tefna awaited news on what would become of her fiance
a sailor in the U.S. Navy still involved in the War In The Pacific
against Japan
Thor’s lightning bolt insigna warriors in Germany
had surrendered months earlier
but no word yet on those who fought for the ancient gods of Japan

A young American scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer
was seeking to become the Hindu god Shiva
The destroyer and transformer of worlds
But Tefna was unaware of him and his plans
And what they could possibly mean for her
As she listened to the ticking of the Clock of Thoth
On the wall
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!
As she always did at this same time every night
Before she went to bed

In the apartment next door
Hera the divine goddess queen of the Olympians
awaited the report of an immortal private eye
Carson Cody Albion

The Greek goddess Hera- that’s Juno to the ancient Romans!

She had suspected her husband Zeus
was getting it on with the modern goddesses
of the silver screen in Hollywood
The fact that she had heard him talking on the phone
seeking to borrow swan and bull costumes
from studio costume departments
only added to her suspicions.

In the apartment on the other side of Tefna
sat Hestia the Greek goddess of hearth and home

Hestia suspected that hearth and home would come to be neglected in America following the war
As both men and women followed Mammon
the ancient Babylonian god of banking and commerce
Who had helped America defeat Thor’s modern worshippers

All these things were unfolding in the building around Tefna
As she listened to the sound of the Clock of Thoth
tick on the wall

Tick-tock! Tick-tock! went the Clock of Thoth on the wall
As Tefna listened.

The Greek goddess Athena was there in black and white

on the silver screen
in the old repertory movie theatre
in West Hollywood
on January 14th
when Dracul Van Helsing
entered the theatre
and entered the screen
and then entered Athena
to sample hidden portals of wisdom

In the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London
Dashwood Forrest looked at the painting
of Demeter
The Greek goddess of fields, crops and agriculture
looking down on a field of 19th Century French peasant women
Bringing in the sheaves for harvest

Looking at the painting
Dashwood Forrest was shocked to see and hear
Demeter speak to the French women,
What sort of powerful magician could seduce my Persephone
away from her husband

As Athena found tantric sex to be a tantalizing experience
On the silver screen in a West Hollywood repertory theatre
actress Akira Lane was showing a robotics maker
fresh from a technology show in Las Vegas
what wonders old technology could do
when blended with ancient magic
As an Irish Jewish science-fiction writer
George Finneganburg
hastily took notes

Meanwhile in a London casino
Former British Labour MP
The Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley
(whose seat was now held by
British Transhumanist MP
Welsh vampiress Morgana)
walked in on an unexpected orgy
taking place on a casino table

The casino’s kinky quartet looked at him, smiled
and advised him not to miss Lord L’s
Super Wolf Blood Moon Party
in Washington DC
next Sunday night

with the brunette in short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose
Sitting atop the casino table
telling him not to miss it for the world

Renfield R. Renfield MP
had just finished writing his speech to move
a motion of non-confidence in Theresa May’s government
following the Brexit vote in the Westminster Parliament tomorrow
When suddenly he walked out into his Parliamentary office
waiting room
Where the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh

was waiting for him

Causing Renfield to burst the zipper on his trousers
When he saw her
He would have to buy himself a new suit
to deliver the speech in Parliament tomorrow

It was a moonlit night in Port Elizabeth South Africa
As the great South African artist SAREJESS
sat in the middle of the street with his easel and canvas
and paintbrush and paints
(praying that no motorists would be driving down the street this late at night to abruptly and undoubtedly painfully put an end to his lunar nocturnal painting expedition)
and painted what he saw

He would paint this quiet tranquil scene
before the ghost of a brontosaurus showed up
and walked across the street
And before the ghost ship of THE ghost ship
The Flying Dutchman
appeared on the surface of the water
on the horizon in the distance
As he sat there painting the canvas,
he wondered whether his wife and family were right
to think he was crazy

And there at one moment in time
somewhere in time
sat Tefna
always anxiously sitting on the bed
always anxiously awaiting for the phone to ring
to bring her news of her love
Same place
Same time
Night after night

but no sound of a phone ringing
Only the sound of the Clock of Thoth ticking
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 14th
2019.

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Rahaf al-Qunun Granted Asylum In Canada

January 11, 2019 at 11:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield drank a toast in champagne with his fellow British Transhumanist Party caucus MP the Welsh vampiress Morgana over the fact that Saudi woman Rahaf al-Qunun was being able to toast her new found freedom in red wine aboard a flight from Bangkok Thailand (via Seoul South Korea) to Toronto.

Toasting her new found freedom in red wine would no doubt cause many extremist Wahhabi imams in Saudi Arabia to roll over in their soaked liquid filled mattresses (caused by nocturnal and daytime emissions brought about by visualized thoughts of the 72 dark eyed houri promised them).

Earlier this evening, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that the Canadian federal government would be granting refugee status to Miss Rahaf al-Qunun in Canada.

After having made the announcement, Justin spent a few minutes wondering about what had become of his beloved cannabis marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever.

The pot smoking and prickly little fellow had been kidnapped last month by Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (the daughter of well known 1920s and ’30s mad scientist Dr. Fu Manchu of Sax Rohmer narrative fame) in retaliation for last month’s arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou by Canadian authorities on the orders of the “jealous because we’re lagging behind China in developing 5G networks” U.S. government.

Justin Trudeau missed conversing with the rather silent little fellow but more importantly missed the cannabis smoke exhaled by the greenhouse creature with the prickly disposition.

Inhaling all that smoke would allow him to converse with the ET gray Gali-Gula from planet Nibiru (who was possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula).

For some reason, the Canadian Prime Minister was only able to see the odd looking and eccentric gray little creature when he had been inhaling pot.

Justin was seeking Gali-Gula’s advice on who he should get to replace Scott Brison as President of the Canadian Treasury Board next Monday.

As Renfield sipped the champagne (and wondered whether 2004 was a good year as far as the French champagne growers were concerned), he thought of his good friend the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh who was the pearl white sparkling incisors smiling vampirically immortal granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh.

Renfield and Ho had recently worked together in poisoning Apple CEO Tim Cook (again in retaliation for the arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport).

Ho Babylon Minh was the one responsible for tonight’s happy conclusion in the Rahaf al-Qunun case.

When Rahaf al-Qunun had been detained by Thai authorities at Bangkok International Airport back on January 6th and a Saudi diplomat had confiscated her passport (no doubt with the same wanna be enthusiastic charm shown towards Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi consulate in Istanbul back in October), Ho Babylon Minh had rushed to Thailand to converse with her friend the King of Thailand.

As a result of Ho’s intervention, Miss Rahaf’s deportation back to Saudi Arabia was delayed.

If Miss Rahaf had been sent back to Saudi Arabia, it would most likely have been a race between her family and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman’s rather extensively large diplomatic janitorial cleaning service to see who could kill her first.

The United Nations Commission on Human Rights intervened and granted Rahaf al-Qunun refugee status.

Causing Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman to burst a blood vessel in his middle finger as he was examining plans for a Mark of the Beast system to be implemented for future citizens of his proposed autonomous NEOM economic zone along the Red Sea.

And now Rahaf al-Qunun was headed towards a new life in Toronto Canada.

. . .

U.S. President Donald Trump was lying in bed when suddenly the ghost of Sir Laurence Olivier appeared in front of him.

Olivier was portraying the role of Tom Snout a character in William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Tom Snout was a tinker and one of the “mechanicals” of Athens an amateur theatre troupe putting on Pyramus and Thisbe a play within a play within A Midsummer Night’s Dream.

Snout played the part of the wall separating Pyramus and Thisbe in Pyramus and Thisbe.

Olivier as Tom Snout as the Wall spoke thus,

In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Snout by name, present a wall…

With that a 219 inch colour TV built by Samsung appeared in mid-air.

“It may cost anywhere between $10,000 and $100,000
but far cheaper than $5.7 billion which only a knave and an ass would spend…”

Trump started screaming as his toupee suddenly became infested with the same black coloured crickets and cockroaches that had suddenly and mysteriously infested Mecca within the past few days.

Lexington his butler and valet entered the Presidential bedroom as Trump’s secret service bodyguards were fast asleep as they were no longer being paid due to the government shutdown.

“Is there something the matter, sir?” Lexington called out in the darkness.

“I’m having to shampoo my hair with a blow torch,” Trump cried back.

“Very good, sir,” Lexington closed the door and went back to bed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 11th
2019.


Rahaf al-Qunun: Off to a new life in Canada.

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Renfield and Ho Babylon Minh Torture Islamist Terrorists and Discuss Donald Trump

January 5, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )


Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh returning from a lunch of tea and crumpets at a trendy London tea shop to rejoin British MP Renfield R. Renfield in torturing 14 captured Egyptian Islamist terrorists in vengeance for last year’s December 28th terrorist attack on a Vietnamese tourist bus near the pyramids at Giza.

Ho Babylon Minh had to admit that crumpets with tea was indeed very good.

A quaint British custom that Ho found very alluring.

She also had to admit that she enjoyed working with British MP Renfield R. Renfield who seemed to have incorporated the best of oriental and occidental methods of torture.

It was nice to meet a Western politican who was capable of bringing the best of East and West together- albeit in a manner that groups such as Amnesty and Human Rights International would have found quite alarming.

The first time she and Renfield had worked together was last month when they had successfully poisoned Apple CEO Tim Cook in retaliation for the American government ordered pot smoking Canadian assisted arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport.

A lifelike AI robot lookalike of Tim Cook who looked and sounded exactly like Mr. Cook (one that had been built for Apple by Samsung because since Steve Jobs’ death, Apple had become incapable of building anything good) had unfortunately been crushed when a television camera from the Goodyear blimp fell on top of it at the start of the New Year.

Now Apple was squandering whatever profits it currently makes nowadays in an effort to pay Samsung to speedily reproduce a replacement.

The official Apple line was Mr. Cook was currently indisposed.

Whether this was due to a cold or a recent visit to a San Francisco health spa and steam baths, the Apple communique did not elaborate.

When Ho Babylon Minh heard about the devastating Islamist terrorist attack on her countrymen that killed 4 people and injured another 10, she immediately phoned Renfield for comfort.

Renfield said that he’d send his own private brigade of British Army Gurkhas (that was granted him under special arrangements with the Crown) to fly to Egypt clandestinely and capture 14 Islamist terrorists (the exact same number as those who were killed or injured on the Vietnamese tourist bus) and fly them back to Britain where they would be subject to Renfield’s own unique version of homespun British hospitality.

He invited Ho Babylon Minh to join him in the fun and games.

Ho gratefully accepted.

The very intricate torture procedures were of course recorded and filmed.

Renfield’s computers sent the imagery and sounds to various Islamist terrorist sites on the Net with the message, “This is what waits for you, you syphilis infested scumbags should you think of doing stuff like this.”

This particular Renfieldian torture for this occasion was done with robots.

As the others sat tied to chairs and watched behind locked glass, a terrorist was brought in and then strapped to a table.

A robot then put a small explosive into one of the terrorist’s limbs (be it an arm or leg) and then the explosive was detonated much to the terrorist’s chagrin.

The robot then sprayed fire into the resulting hole that would cauterize the blood flow and prevent the terrorist from bleeding to death.

The procedure was then repeated with the terrorist’s remaining limbs.

Finally after all four limbs had been blown off the terrorist’s body, an AI sex robot designed by Dr. Cadbury Rocher to look like one of the 72 dark eyed houri promised them in the Islamic Paradise approached them.

Seeing as how their head and their phallus was the only thing that remained on the terrorist’s body, the dark eyed houri sex robot mounted their phallus and then thrust herself upon him until he came.

In the background, Renfield played the song She’ll Be Coming Around The Mountain When She Comes.

When the terrorist came, so did the dark eyed houri sex robot.

However when the dark eyed houri sex robot came, her vaginal juices emitted a highly concentrated combination of both sulphuric and hydrochloric acid.

Needless to say, the terrorist found it an excruciatingly painful experience.

In the background, Renfield played an old and rare vintage album recording of W.C. Fields singing Frankly, I’d Rather Be In Philadelphia.

Finally a slow moving rotating saw was brought in to slowly cut off the Islamist terrorist’s head as Renfield played in the background the song As Time Goes By as sung by Dooley Wilson in the 1942 film Casablanca.

When this went on after 14 times, Renfield read on his Huawei smart phone that Donald Trump was once again stating that all those government employees who no longer had a paycheque coming in would continue to support him even if the shutdown went on for years because they all supported the idea of a wall with Mexico (which Trump had promised voters that Mexico would pay for when he was running for President).

“Donald Trump is an idiot,” Renfield stated aloud in a remark that Ho Babylon Minh thought was a brilliant grasp of the obvious.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 5th
2019.

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Goatee Slays Uglos, Renfield Poisons Apples and Allatallahbel Desolates The Vatican

December 27, 2018 at 11:56 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Humour, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee had been in a good mood on Christmas Day because he hadn’t encountered any repulsively ugly women.

He wasn’t in such a good mood yesterday because some ugly woman tried to ride alongside him on a escalator so he promptly beheaded the bitch.

Then it turned out that the grocery stores in his neighbourhood were closed for boxing day so he wasn’t able to buy any groceries.

Today wasn’t such a good day either because when he went to pick up his subsidized transit pass (Goatee got a subsidized low-income transit pass for medical reasons since his doctor had certified him as homicidally insane and therefore this made him eligible for medical benefits such as a low-income transit pass), he discovered that his photo id had expired.

The clerk gave him a low-income transit pass for next month anyways but told him he would definitely need a new photo id for next month (it was lucky for the clerk that he did that for otherwise he would have been beheaded by Pan Goatee).

“Why the Hell do you need a fucking new photo id all the time?” Goatee fumed, “Proof positive that the days of the Antichrist and the Mark of the Beast are upon us.”

He beheaded a fat ugly blimp in a wheelchair who tried to get in his way.

“You know back in my day, we used to have only good looking people in wheelchairs,” the ghost of Raymond Burr remarked to the satyr serial killer after Goatee had beheaded the fat ugly blimp.

“Mister, we could use a disabled person like Police Detective Robert Ironside again,” Pan Goatee sang a paraphrased version of that old Archie Bunker All In The Family song about Herbert Hoover.

He then beheaded a few more ugly women around the transit place.

“If Semjaza and his Merry band of Watchers came down to Earth today,” Goatee did an impromptu theological exposition on the Book of I Enoch,
“they sure as Hell wouldn’t be mating with the daughters of men now not when they look like the daughters of walruses, stoats and gargoyles.”

Goatee was momentarily pleased when he actually saw a beautiful woman wearing a short skirt and black silk pantyhose exiting a building but she was immediately followed by an ugly stoat looking woman whom he promptly beheaded.

Later on the bus ride home, Goatee encountered another ugly stoat looking woman who in addition to being stoatly ugly was wearing a fashion designer’s nightmare of barf green coloured checkered pants with unmatching yellow striped purple running shoes.

The genetically created satyr serial killer promptly beheaded her much to the relief, delight and applause of the ghosts of Oscar Wilde, Friedrich Nietzsche, Yves Saint Laurent and the still living (but almost died when he saw the colour blind hideous fashion ensemble wearing ugly looking stoat monstrosity) Karl Lagerfeld.

Later a walrus looking fat ugly blimp got off the bus in front of Pan Goatee’s house so he beheaded that creature from Hell as well.

. . .

The two chief scientists in charge of Product Development at Apple (both of whom were appointed after the death of Steve Jobs) twin brothers Dr. Shitticus Constipationio and Dr. Shitticus Diarrheaosis (both men’s family surnames were their first names) were up shit creek.

The CEO of the company Tim Cook had died after eating a poisoned apple pie given to him by British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

The gay Apple CEO had a passionate crush on the British MP who was someday expected to become Prime Minister of Britain and the Sir Winston Churchill of the 21st Century so gladly accepted the apple pie from him.

Chinese government operative Ho Babylon Minh (the granddaughter of Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh) knew of Cook’s crush on Renfield R. Renfield and thus after putting the Dr. Cadbury Rocher designed Snow White Red Rose Black Death apples in a pie got Renfield to deliver them.

Cook’s homicide was revenge on the part of the Beijing government for the U.S. government ordered Justin Trudeau cannabis Canadian complicit arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport.

Renfield agreed because he didn’t like the idea of a very attractive Asian Dragon sister like Meng Wanzhou having been put in a Vancouver jail when there were so many obnoxious ugly white women walking the streets of Calgary, Alberta, Canada and nobody was doing a damned thing about it with the exception of genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee.

Now Cook was dead and put on ice (in hopes there would be somebody who could bring him back from the dead).

In the meantime a humanoid looking robot who resembled Cook was putting in public appearances so that no one would know Cook had died.

The embarrasing part was the Tim Cook looking humanoid robot had been built and designed by Samsung (Apple’s South Korean competitor) since after Steve Jobs’ death, Apple had become incapable of building a good product.

And they the Shitticus Brothers were to blame.

. . .

Back in 855 AD, a Kabbalistic Gnostic Apostolate operating covertly in the Catholic Church had finally succeeded in putting a woman (a witch) on the papal throne as Pope John VIII.

The woman became known to history as Pope Joan.

Joannes Anglicus (her Latin name as Pope) had disguised herself as a man.

Her womanhood was revealed in 857 AD when she gave birth in the midst of a papal procession.

Now the vampiress Allatallahbel (the Vampiress Priestess of Baal) was hoping to openly be elected Pope when Francis either kicked the bucket or resigned.


The Vampiress Allatallahbel (the Vampiress Priestess of Baal) plans to become the next Pope.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday December 27th
2018.

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