Dracul Van Helsing In Transylvania

January 22, 2018 at 10:14 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Dracul Van Helsing In Transylvania

The great Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was in Transylvania.

He was visiting the decaying ruins of Castle Dracula in the Carpathian Mountains near the Borgo Pass.

Accompanying him was Set Enterprises’ chief resident scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The two were seeking the remains of the Wallachian voivode (or prince) Vlad III also known as Vlad Tepes also known as Vlad the Impaler but better known to Britain and the Western world as Vlad Dracula (the son of Vlad Dracul or Vlad the Dragon 🐉 who was Wallachian prince Vlad II).

Both Dracul and Dr. Rocher were in Transylvania on the advice of British MP Renfield R. Renfield who was being advised by the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill (Churchill’s ghost appeared to Renfield by leaving a painted portrait of himself in Renfield’s office whenever Renfield drank from the last bottle of brandy that Churchill ever owned).

According to Renfield and dear old Winnie’s ghost, the only way that Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan could be stopped from creating a revived Ottoman Empire thereby threatening world peace would be if Vlad the Impaler (who made a successful career out of impaling his Turkish enemies) was brought back from the dead.

Sadly for the world in the second decade of the 21st Century, Dracul Van Helsing’s great great grandfather Dr. Abraham Van Helsing had driven a stake through Dracula’s heart in the last decade of the 19th Century.

Ironically Dracul Van Helsing’s Romanian mother Nadja Draculescu was a direct descendant of Vlad Dracula.

Which made Dracul a direct descendant of Vlad Dracula as well.

So on his father’s side, he was a Van Helsing.

On his mother’s side, he was a Dracula.

When they found Dracula’s coffin in the dungeon of Castle Dracula, Dracul Van Helsing and Dr. Cadbury Rocher opened it.

Inside they found the dust that had been Dracula.

“Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” Dracul quoted from the burial service in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer.

“Son of man, can these bones live?” Dr. Cadbury Rocher quoted Ezekiel Chapter 37 verse 3.

Dr. Rocher then zapped the dust and bones with his Tesla laser particle beam flashlight helmet wearing pink rabbit Energizer Bunny.

The atomic particles and sub-atomic particles of Dracula’s body re-assembled itself.

The Energizer Bunny kept going, saying in a TV commercial announcer style voice, “It keeps going and going…”

And going and going it did.

It kept going out the door of the Castle and kept going right over a cliff.

It wasn’t in any shape to keep going once it had made its landing however.

Meanwhile Dracula now had his head and heart attached.

Dracula had risen from the dead.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 22nd
2018.

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