Svetlana Kireeva, Vladimir Putin and The Mysterious Horn In Byzantium

September 21, 2022 at 11:37 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Russian vampiress and FSB agent Svetlana Kireeva awaits the launch of a nuclear missile which would be fired from a secret location in Moscow

Earlier in the day, Russian President Vladimir Putin announced on Russian national television that he would be mobilizing 300,000 reservists in an effort to save his would-be Neo-Imperialist Czarist ass in Ukraine.

To the right of Putin stood the ghost of the late U.S. President LBJ.

“Well scratch my ass and think about Israel,” LBJ laughed, “It looks like Ukraine is turning into Russia’s Vietnam.”

In the corner of the room sat the ghost of Jim Morrison weeping in a chair.

“Why,” Morrison sobbed, “of all the ghost stories in all the world did I first have to appear in one written by the world’s most boring author Phil Huston?”.

To the left of Morrison’s ghost was a holographic image of Alice Cooper who was committing hari kari with the pointy end of his mace for the same reason that Morrison’s ghost sat sobbing in a chair.

It was the first time that Russian reservists had been called up since the Second World War.

As Putin’s face was sprayed by a whole bunch of ghostly spectral holographic blood issuing forth from the intestines of the well hari-karied ghostly spectral holographic image of Alice Cooper who was busy singing his last ever hit Farewll To My Nightmare, Putin announced that he would be using nuclear weapons against the West.

To that end, Russian vampiress and FSB agent Svetlana Kireeva received a text message from Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit secret agent Miranda Singh asking if the two of them could meet in Stockholm Sweden in an effort to prevent global nuclear war.

. . .

Senile old fool Joe Biden was meeting with one of his advisors after the Irish Celtic demon Balor Biden’s speech to the UN General Assembly.

“Mr. President,” his advisor advised, “Regarding Putin’s threatened use of nuclear weapons, you have a secret personal weapon of your own to use in your dealings with Mr. Putin.”

“I do? And what secret personal weapon of my own would that be?” Biden asked as he broke wind and then let loose with a bowel movement.

The advisor was unable to answer Biden’s question as he immediately dropped dead from sulphurous exhaust fumes.

. . .

The Byzantine Emperor Justinian I was sitting on his throne in Constantinople in the year 537 AD when an envoy from Arthur King of the Britons appeared.

“Your Imperial Majesty, your noble ally Arthur King of the Britons is dead after having been slain by his evil son Mordred at the Battle of Camlann,” the envoy stated, “His repentant half-sister Morgan le Fay wants you to have this.”

“What is it?” Justinian asked.

“It’s the horn of Arthur’s personal Unicorn,” the envoy explained, “A Unicorn that was slain by Mordred the evil son of Arthur King of the Britons and Morgan le Fay.”

“Let me see,” the beautiful Byzantine Empress Theodora rose from her throne.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 21st
2022.

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The Welsh Vampiress and The White Wolf

March 19, 2018 at 10:31 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Espionage, International Intrigue, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

The Welsh Vampiress and The White Wolf

The Welsh Vampiress Morgana (also known as Morgana Fay Lee) the British Transhumanist MP for the Welsh constituency of Newbridge was walking the streets of London.

She was unable to find a cab this evening which was unusual for London.

And she did not feel like turning into a bat 🦇 and flying into tonight’s cold wind.

She was dressed in a turquoise coloured evening dress having attended a charity event reception earlier tonight.

As she walked down the street, she was followed by a man in dark clothing much like the attire said to have been worn by Jack the Ripper.

The man was a GRU (Russian Military Intelligence Service) agent who chose the outfit because he had an historical sense of humour (unlike Benny Hill with his hysterical sense of humour).

He carried a poisoned tip umbrella 🌂 containing a poison recently developed by FSB research scientist Dr. Nicht Werhoffen (originally of the East German Stasi).

Vladimir Putin had given the order for the assassination of Morgana.

For two reasons:

1): To test the new poison

2): To send a warning to her Transhumanist parliamentary colleague Renfield R. Renfield to tone down his anti-Putin rhetoric.

Unbeknownst to the GRU agent, he too was being followed.

By a white wolf with blue eyes.

The GRU agent was now only feet away from the Welsh Vampiress.

The white wolf howled.

Morgana quickly turned.

She jumped out of the way as the man lunged.

The umbrella stabbed him in the stomach as he fell.

“Merde,” was the last word of the GRU agent who was currently taking French lessons.

There would be one less student in the Foreign Languages school in Moscow next week.

The white wolf with blue eyes turned and vanished into the night.

Since the man spoke French with a Russian accent, Morgana deduced that he was probably a Russian agent out to assassinate her.

She didn’t know what effect lethal Russian weapons would have on vampiresses but she didn’t intend to stand around and find out.

She knew that Renfield’s friend the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had an apartment not far from here so she would hide there if he was home.

She rang the buzzer and Dracul answered.

He buzzed her up.

She ran up the stairs rather than take the elevator.

Dracul was standing outside his door in the hallway waiting for her to arrive.

He invited her in and closed the door.

On the other side of the hall, Dracul’s neighbour an elderly Scottish woman was peering through the keyhole of her apartment door and said to herself, “Probably another shameless hussy here to take Kama Sutra lessons.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 19th
2018.

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