Sophia Catches Her Son At Perverted Party In Kiev

March 21, 2022 at 10:17 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic Goddess of Wisdom catches her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun at a perverted party in Kiev rather than fighting in the Greek centaur Chiron’s army of leprechauns and gnomes

Sophia had heard the rumours.

Rather than fighting against invading Russian troops her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was supposedly attending a coming out party of the LGBTQ2s+ community in the City of Kiev hosted by Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskiy in celebration of the New World Order that an airheaded Ukrainian woman MP Kira Rudyk said that Ukraine was fighting for.

The demons Baal and Baphomet were present at the LGBTQ2s+ coming out party as freaks, fruits and nuts whose hair was all the colours of the rainbow (plus colours not in the rainbow) gave the appearance of a Liberace and Elton John directed version of the 1968 zombie film Night of The Living Dead.

Ukrainan President Volodymyr Zelenskiy, who had just got into some trouble for releasing a fake news video of the Eiffel Tower in Paris France being attacked by Russian missiles, addressed the crowd, “I understand we’ve got some foreign guests who are here with us virtually on Zoom.”

The crowd cheered.

“How many women from America are here with us today?” Zelenskiy asked.

2/3 of Joe Biden’s deputy cabinet appointees put up their hands as well as some muscle bound ogre who just won the first place gold medal in an NCAA Women’s Swimming Competition in the U.S.

Yaldabaoth, who was busy drinking green beer while Zelenskiy grandstanded in black leather pants and spiked high heeled shoes as holographic images of George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab applauded in the background, was immediately spotted by Sophia.

“I thought you were supposed to be fighting invaders,” Sophia approached him.

“Well…” Yaldabaoth was at a loss for words.

Sophia took Yaldabaoth over her knee and spanked him.

. . .

Meanwhile diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Russia were on the verge of collapse after senile old fool Joe Biden called Russian President Vladimir Putin “a war criminal”.

The ghostly voice of Mortimer Snerd (who was the secondary ventriloquist dummy- after Charlie McCarthy- of American ventriloquist Edgar Bergen) called Biden from Hell (where he was doing a stand-up comedy routine with Cerberus) and told him that it wasn’t smart to call the leader of a nuclear power “a war criminal”.

Russia’s Foreign Ministry had summoned U.S. Ambassador to Moscow John Sullivan to give him a dressing down.

Actor John Cleese (who played Basil Fawlty on the 1970s British sitcom Fawlty Towers) told a member of the British press, “I called Vladimir Putin a war criminal once but I think I got away with it…”

. . .

Meanwhile the demons Baal and Baphomet had left Kiev and had gone to French President Emmanuel Macron’s bedroom to enjoy some champagne cocktails with the Klaus Schwab approved former Global Youth leader.

“We’re looking forward to this Friday,” the half-male, half-female half-human half-goat demon Baphomet told Macron.

“What happens Friday?” Macron asked as he chased an elderly cougar around the bedroom.

“Haven’t you heard?” Baal said as he sampled a Planned Parenthood appetizer from a Paris clinic, “That’s when the demon Pachamama worshipping AntiPope Francis supposedly consecrates Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”

Baal and Baphomet both roared with laughter as Macron adjusted his toupee.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 21st
2022.

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Happy Saint Patrick’s Day From A Green Dress Marilyn

March 17, 2022 at 10:24 pm (Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Television, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day from a green dress wearing Marilyn Monroe

A holographic image of a green dress wearing Marilyn Monroe appeared to British Prime Minister Boris Johnson wishing him a “Happy Saint Patrick’s Day”.

“Why, thank you very much,” Johnson smiled.

“I understand the President of France, the Chancellor of Germany and the Prime Minister of Italy got green sprayed Irish stink bombs this Saint Patrick’s Day,” Mrs. Johnson noted.

“I wonder why they got that while I got a holographic image of Marilyn Monroe wearing a sexy green dress,” Johnson scratched the uncombed and unkempt top of his head.

“I think it was because France’s Emmanuel Macron, Germany’s Olaf Scholz and Italy’s Mario Draghi didn’t remove vaccine passports while you did,” Mrs. Johnson answered.

“Are you suggesting British MP Renfield R. Renfield was behind those stink bomb attacks?” Johnson drank a pint of Guinness.

“I am,” Mrs. Johnson had a shot of Jameson.

Meanwhile in Ottawa, Canada’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau had 666 tons of smelly green fertilizer (produced by patriotic Irish cows who only shit green) dumped on the front lawn of his house.

In Washington D.C., a package of green dye exploded inside of Joe Biden’s pair of Depends when Biden’s bowels exploded again.

In Dublin, Ireland, a group of serpents hiding behind a rainbow coloured flag had taken over the Irish government.

And hissed, “Good-bye land of Saint Patrick.”

Meanwhile British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Thursday night podcast.

Renfield began his podcast with a question, “What kind of Communist is Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Oleksandrovich Zelenskiy?”.

The MP, in answer to his own question, replied, “Obviously a fruity one. Since he once did a music video showing him wearing high-heeled shoes and tight clinging black leather pants engaging in homo-erotic activities with other men that would make even Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie wince.”

Renfield went on, “The fruity Communist Zelenskiy (puppet of Trotskyite billionaire George Soros) in a virtual TV address to the current gang of idiots who make up the U.S. Congress described Joe Biden as “the leader of the free world”. Now, what sort of leader in their right mind would describe the Depends wearing senile old fool Joe Biden as the “leader of the free world”? The answer is no leader in their right mind would.”

Renfield continued, “This is the same Volodymyr Zelenskiy who said he was inspired to enter politics by Canada’s asinine Neo-Bolshevik Communist leader the wimpy soy-boy looking pansy Justin Trudeau (who must have come as the most ironic example of karmic justice for an extremely macho Caribbean tinpot dictator to have sired). That’s all that needs to be said for Zelenskiy. This New World Order trained seal in flippers with tight zippers obviously doesn’t quite cut the mustard or anything else for that matter.”

The ghost of Rod Serling then asked the question, “What type of Communist is Volodymyr Oleksandrovich Zelenskiy? A hidden one masquerading as a celebrity comedian. In other words, a cunning and even more dangerous Communist.”

The host of the TV shows Night Gallery and The Twilight Zone went on, “The good people of Ukraine have been had by a 10c a dance comedian who should have been booed off the stage the first time he appeared as President. Sadly this is not the first time that brutal Communism has hid its hammer from an unsuspecting public.”

Concluded Serling, “Now we’ve got a 21st Century Trotsky in Ukraine fighting a 21st Century Czar from Russia. And a Vicar of Pachamama now wants to consecrate both Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. At one time back in the late 1950s and early 1960s, such things would have been considered part of the Twilight Zone. Today they’re the world of CNN News.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 17th
2022.

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Pirate’s Ghost Attends Volodymyr Zelensky’s Inauguration

May 20, 2019 at 9:55 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The ghost of Captain Kerry Donegal the little known (save to a certain Oxford historian and his grad students) 18th Century Irish pirate of the Caribbean was walking the streets of Kiev in Ukraine.

He was here to attend the inauguration of Volodymyr Zelensky as Ukraine’s new President.

As a pirate’s ghost, he had only recently been released from Purgatory.

The decision to release him came in a teleconferencing call between the Greek gods Hades, Poseidon and Zeus.

Hades as the god of the Underworld had Purgatory under his jurisdiction.

However the section of Purgatory that Captain Kerry Donegal was in was Davy Jones’ Locker over which Poseidon also held jurisdiction.

As Poseidon walked along the beaches of Tel Aviv, Israel (where the sea god passed Miranda the mermaid while he was holding his seashell phone to his ear) the three Olympians agreed on Captain Donegal’s release.

Normally Pope Francis as the successor of Simon Peter (to whom Christ had given the keys of Heaven, Hell and Purgatory) was supposed to have some say on the matter but since Francis did not believe in the existence of 2 out of 3 of those places, he had abdicated all responsibility on the matter to Hades back in 2014.

Captain Kerry Donegal wasn’t too sure why his release from Purgatory and Davy Jones’ Locker was so important to Zeus but it had something to do with Zeus wanting to release his own personal kraken on the world.

And Captain Donegal had died as a result of being strangled by a kraken.

Albeit as far as he knew, the kraken who strangled him wasn’t Zeus’ personal kraken.

Since arriving on the world above Purgatory and Davy Jones’ Locker, Captain Donegal had ridden a horse called Bodexpress at the Preakness Stakes in Baltimore, Maryland when the horse’s jockey had fallen off and the pirate’s ghost decided to jump on the horse and ride the rest of the way.

The pirate and Bodexpress had come in 2nd from last in the race although technically speaking, Bodexpress was officially listed as Did Not Finish.

The pirate captain blamed his poor finish on not having ridden a horse since the days of his wild youth in Ireland.

Captain Donegal had been in Baltimore, Maryland trying to locate a man named Edgar Allan Poe since a Haitian fortune teller had once told him that a man named Poe who lived in the city would someday be able to help him.

Captain Donegal discovered to his horror that Poe had apparently died almost 170 years earlier and in his shock had suddenly found himself on the Pimlico Race Course with a bunch of horses charging right through him.

He leapt on Bodexpress when Bodexpress’ rider had fallen off at the start of the race.

And now Captain Kerry Donegal found himself in Kiev, Ukraine.

He wasn’t quite sure how he got here but he was here.

The last he remembered was being in a Baltimore pub after the race but no one had taken his order (namely because they couldn’t see him).

He had heard in the pub that Ukraine would be holding a Presidential inauguration today and Captain Donegal recalled that a Cossack pirate who had served on his ship The Not So Green Shamrock had come from Ukraine.

He decided to visit the place and lo and behold he was here.

He watched as Ukraine’s new leader Volodymyr Zelensky took the oath of office.

But what he particularly enjoyed was watching two vampiresses (although he didn’t know they were vampiresses) wrestling with one another after the inauguration.

Ukrainian vampiress Inna Huculak was battling it out with Russian vampiress Svetlana Kireeva on behalf of their respective countries.

All he needed now, Captain Kerry Donegal thought to himself, was a good bottle of rum as he watched.

There was nothing he enjoyed more than a good catfight.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 20th
2019.


Ukrainian vampiress Inna Huculak wishes reader George F. a pleasant evening.

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