Donald Trump’s Twittering Attacks On 4 Democratic Congresswomen

July 15, 2019 at 10:53 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Donald Trump’s Twittering Attacks On 4 Democratic Congresswomen

Donald Trump had had an eventful past couple of days.

Yesterday, he had criticized 4 young Democratic Congresswomen (Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rep. Rashida Tlaib, Rep. Ayanna Pressley and Rep. Ilhan Omar) and said they should go back to the “countries they originally came from”.

Three of the women had been born in the U.S. and Rep. Omar had come to the U.S. from Somalia when she was 12.

Trump had spent the day today defending his tweets and had called Nancy Pelosi a racist for calling him a racist.

He also said that Rep. Omar had once praised al-Qaeda.

Trump, with his usual penchant for “terminological inexactitude” (to quote the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill), was referencing a 2013 interview Miss Omar had once given in which she said that one of her professors had once praised al-Qaeda in class and had told the reporter in the interview what the professor had said.

Trump had also sent DARPA operative Enema Enigma to dig up dirt on Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez whom some people touted as a possible Democratic Presidential candidate in 2024 -the year for which he was grooming his daughter Ivanka to become the first woman President of the United States.

This was the photo that Enema Enigma had returned with:

After seeing the photo of what looked like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in rather provocative attire, Trump immediately crossed his legs.

He then hurried to the washroom with the photo and gazed at it for the next 7 hours.

After over 7 hours were up, Trump sent a text message to his British butler and valet Lexington in which he asked Lexington to immediately bring “wipes to the Oval Office washroom as no wipes seem to be available”.

As Lexington immediately and swiftly hurried down the West Wing corridors, he happened to pass by an office where the radio in the office was playing that old country music song, “It’s been a long time coming…”

Undoubtedly the song was definitely NOT referring to Lexington’s rather rapid delivery of the wipes.

. . .

Later Trump played an evening round of golf with the Havana-based Neo-Nazi billionaire Robur Pike.

In answer to a reporter’s question about Pike, Trump responded, “Terrific guy. I’ve known him for 15 years. He likes white people as much as I do. In fact, he likes them a little on the whiter than white side”.

At that moment, a golf club wielded high in mid-air hit Trump over the head.

“Hey, somebody super tall just hit me over the head with a golf club,” Trump complained to his Secret Service agents.

“We saw the club approach high in mid-air,” his secret service responded, “but there’s no one there. We can’t see anyone.”

. . .

In London, Amadeus Emanon asked the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s valet and butler Athelstan, “Say, what is the Boss’ personal secret agent Harvey Tallbanger up to at the moment?”.

“I believe today he is in Washington DC, sir,” Athelstan replied.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher
Monday July 15th
2019.

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The Eve of Saint Agnes 2019: Night of The Super Wolf Blood Moon: A Poem

January 20, 2019 at 11:56 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, Gothic poem, Gothic romance, Horror, International Intrigue, love, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Poetry, Romance, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )


Madeleine undressing, The Eve of St. Agnes painted by John Everett Millais circa 1863 based on John Keats’ 1819 poem The Eve of St. Agnes

‘Twas the Eve of Saint Agnes
and in a Baphomet worshipping Jesuit chapel
in Washington DC
Strange creatures were stirring
led by an Illuminati banker Lord L of London
who was wearing a mask of Poe’s The Raven
The Greco-Egyptian gnostic goddess Sophia was dressed
as a statue of her mother Pallas Athena
But wasn’t allowing Lord L to sit on her head

The demons Baal and Baphomet sat atop Pope Francis style witches’ Stang style Crucifixes awaiting sacrifices to them
Two victims- a 12-year-old girl named Agnes who would be sacrificed to Baal who thrived on child sacrifices
And a 50-year-old Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley (former British Labour MP) securely bound (as it was the night of a full moon) who would be sacrificed to Baphomet the half-human half-goat half-male half-female entity (who was Sophia’s son/daughter)
Performing the sacrifice would be Semiramis the former Queen of Babylon
Seeing as how Saint Agnes’ symbol was the lamb
and Magog Rhys Petley’s symbol was the wolf
The group was giving a perverted twist to Isaiah’s prophecy about the wolf shall lie down with the lamb

Semiramis wearing a long red dress raised the knife
when the full moon turned blood red
ready to bring it down on both
when the blood red moon turned to darkness
Just then the door of the chapel opened
And two creatures entered
One was a white wolf with blue eyes
He strolled on the right down the center of the chapel
The other was a black jaguar with silver eyes
He strolled down the left of the chapel
They went and stood on either side of Semiramis

Lord L blinked behind his raven mask
He didn’t recall this being part of the script
A tall blonde man wearing a fedora hat and Philip Marlowe
style private eye trench coat entered the chapel
Wearing a cross bow on his back

Standing at the front of the chapel
he removed a cross bow and poisoned arrow and fired at Lord L
“Shit, I am slain” Lord L remarked before falling over subsequently dead
“A Lenny Bruce style Nixon White House style epithet added to Polonius’ last words spoken in the play Hamlet” the crossbow slayer who was Dracul Van Helsing remarked.

The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec had arrived on the scene
and had tied up and bound Semiramis the Queen of Babylon
“Wow, my Anne Rice A. N. Roquelaure Sleeping Beauty BDSM fantasies are coming true,” Dracul remarked upon seeing this
Renfield R. Renfield let fire with a water cannon
with Holy Water blessed by the former Pope Benedict XVI
At the demons Baal and Baphomet
sending them shrieking outside the chapel

Soon the spectators fled
including a Democratic Congresswoman from California
and a Democratic Senator from New York
who were dressed as the couple
in the 1930 Grant Wood painting American Gothic

Semiramis before succumbing to a massive tantric orgasm
Brought about by the excitement of the ropes and the handcuffs
touching her skin
Thought she recognized Dracul Van Helsing

“He must be a time traveller,” Semiramis thought to herself,
“He’s the spitting image of the man who rescued me from the hands of Jack the Ripper in London in the autumn of 1888.”


Semiramis in the arms of Jack the Ripper as a raven watches
and before a white wolf and a black jaguar and a vampire slayer spring in for the attack

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Qonzilqointec Melts The Ice

March 18, 2014 at 7:28 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, Humour, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Qonzilqointec Melts The Ice

The Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec had been called by her good friend Arizona Sen. John McCain asking for help in de-thawing the U.S. government’s most pre-eminent hired assassin Pan Goatee.

The astral projecting genetically created half-man half- goat satyr and professional serial killer turned U.S. government agent had been frozen in a terrible Washington D.C. snow storm several weeks ago.

Despite all their best efforts while burning the midnight oil (especially burning the midnight oil) the top research scientists at DARPA could not de-thaw the creature.

In desperation, one of the directors of DARPA phoned John McCain for help.

In turn, McCain turned to his friend Princess Qonzilqointec.

McCain figured that a hot looking young looking 600- odd year old Aztec Vampiress (like most women over 30, she wouldn’t reveal her true age) who looked the spitting image of the hot and sultry actress Salma Hayek might be sizzlingly hot enough to de-thaw Pan Goatee.

So McCain phoned Qonzilqointec.

He had to wait half an hour while Her Vampiric Highness chewed out Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro on the other line.

She told Maduro that he was a despot and a tyrant who oppressed his people and that he had neither the charisma nor compassion of his predecessor Hugo Chavez.

She told Maduro that he didn’t have the testicles Chavez did and she included in that the state of testicles of Chavez’s currently decomposing body.

After Maduro hung up the phone to have a much needed bowel movement, Qonzilqointec took Sen. McCain’s call.

When McCain explained to Qonzilqointec the situation, she immediately boarded her luxury jet and flew up to Washington D.C.

She arrived at DARPA Headquarters wearing a see-through Versace evening dress.

She only paid €25,000 for this dress.

She had to laugh at her rival for world domination- the Paris-based Egyptian Vampiress Isis who stupidly paid €50,000 for her Versace evening dress and then ruined it by flying around Paris on a smog-filled evening and flying directly into the Eiffel Tower.

As Qonzilqointec walked by the guards outside DARPA headquarters while wearing her see-through Versace evening dress, she caused them to have huge bulging erections in their pants.

The sole exception was the guard who was gay.

Although the gay guard happened to have a crush on Justin Bieber and at that moment he was mentally conjuring in his mind those haunting yet so arousing TV images he saw of Justin Bieber in handcuffs.

So he too had a bulging erection in his trousers.

They got Qonzilqointec into the DARPA research lab where the Aztec Vampiress promptly mounted Pan Goatee’s giant ice cube and went to work.

“I’ll never be able to look at an ice cube in the same way again,” a DARPA administrator commented after watching the scene with riveted attention for several minutes.

“My wife’s going to notice that I’ll be spending even more time around the refrigerator than usual,” another DARPA administrator remarked.

“It’s alive,” a female DARPA scientist gasped.

“Oh yes, yes, yes!” Qonzilqointec screamed.

“I’m glad I use Clairol Herbal Essences Shampoo on my body hair,” were Pan Goatee’s first words as he came back to life.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 18th
2014

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Pan Goatee Invited To The White House

February 4, 2014 at 11:44 pm (Commentary, News, Politics, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee Invited To The White House

Serial killer and U.S. government hired assassin Pan Goatee had been invited to the White House.

He wasn’t sure who he was meeting with there but he had the feeling it was with the Big Chief himself.

Pan Goatee pressed the elevator button.

The elevator showed up at his floor.

He was about to get in when suddenly an ugly looking woman got out.

What the fuck?!-

How dare an ugly looking woman get off just as he was about to get on?

He pulled out his gun and shot her several times making sure that she was dead.

He headed to the stairwell.

Damn!

Now he would have to start using the stairwell until such time as he spotted a beautiful looking woman enter or exit the elevator that would dispel the curse that now hung over the elevator as a result of an ugly looking woman riding in it.

Pan Goatee then walked to one of his favourite restaurants where he would have lunch prior to visiting the White House.

As he entered the restaurant…

…what the fuck?…

… an old bat senior citizen in a walker was sitting at his favourite table.

So Pan Goatee pulled out his gun and shot her several times making sure she was dead.

He then threw her body and walker out the door into the street.

This semi-automatic he bought at a smiley face price Roll-Back sale at Wal-Mart last week (which he was able to purchase without ID or background check) was certainly coming in handy this week.

He then ordered, ate and enjoyed his usual dish in this restaurant- a plate of meatloaf and sauerkraut.

He then headed to the White House.

At the security check inside the White House, there were some problems arising (due to a computer glitch) with his government employee issued ID.

So Pan Goatee was forced to shoot and kill the White House Secret Service agents present at the security check.

With everyone at the desk now dead, he had no one to ask for directions.

Pan Goatee had to find his way to the Oval Office on his own as he was pretty sure that a White House meeting for a serial killer of his stature (he had beat out Pope Francis in getting his picture on the cover of the Rolling Stone magazine first) could only be with the Big Chief himself.

When he found the Oval Office, he decided to enter without knocking.

Standing there was U. S. President Barack Obama posing for a photo with a small group of elementary schoolchildren.

The children were presenting the President with a petition calling for tougher gun control laws to prevent tragedies like the Sandy Hook Massacre.

Pan Goatee decided that now probably wasn’t an opportune moment to announce that he had just purchased a membership in the National Rifle Association.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday February 4th
2014.

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