Morgana On An Early March Evening
The Welsh Vampiress Morgana in a forest on an early March evening
Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was wandering through an English forest on an early March evening.
He had a crossbow in hand and a bunch of silver arrows in a pouch on his back.
There were reports of a demonically possessed elk in the forest.
The elk had apparently been given to Justin Welby the ArchHeretic of Sodom and Gomorrah (although his official title was Archbishop of Canterbury) by Joe Biden’s cabinet for his efforts in getting Baphomet approved Alphabet Soup Community sexual practices accepted by the Church of England and the global Anglican Community.
The elk was an animal now extinct in Britain.
So Biden’s cabinet thought that putting an a-sexual non-binary gender confused elk from the U.S. Democratic Party stronghold state of Colorado into the British Isles as a gift to ArchHeretic Welby would somehow magically replenish the elk population.
When ArchHeretic Welby was presented the gift by gender confused Rachel Somebody Or Other (an Assistant Secretary of Something or Other in Biden’s cabinet), the elk had a cassette tape recorder around his/her/its neck which when you pushed a button on it, a voice came on that said, “I’m Joe Biden and I approve this present 🎁.”
The elk had apparently become demonically possessed after using a Ouija board to swear its allegiance to the demon Baphomet.
It had escaped from Welby’s country ecclesial episcopal palace and was now terrorizing native British deer 🦌 in a nearby forest.
After consulting a rare volume on Demonic Possession of Animals written by the Rev. Father Montague Summers, the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds (who was Amadeus Emanon’s parish priest and Vicar) had told Dracul Van Helsing that the only way to rid the world of a demonically possessed elk was to kill it with a silver arrow.
So Van Helsing was now going through the forest with his crossbow and silver arrows when he came upon this sight:
Van Helsing put down his crossbow and silver arrows and proceeded to climb the fallen tree and make out with the Welsh Vampiress Morgana (who was a member of the British Parliament from the constituency of Newbridge In Wales 🏴 and a British Arthurian Party parliamentary colleague of British MP Renfield R. Renfield who represented Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds).
As Van Helsing and Morgana made wild passionate love on the fallen tree, the demonically possessed elk walked by.
The elk used its antlers (thus indicating that the elk was a biologically born male who only became gender confused after attending U.S. Democratic Party sessions on the party’s future wildlife strategy) to attack a possible candidate for the future leadership of the Scottish Nationalist Party.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 3rd
2023.
Renfield R. Renfield and The British Arthurian ₱arty
Welsh vam₱iress Morgana Fay Lee holds a red fox at British M₱ Renfield R. Renfield’s Christmas Day ₱ress conference in which he announces the change of name from the British Transhumanist ₱arty to the British Arthurian ₱arty
The Third Man
“So,” Renfield remarked to his parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana Fay Lee, “I see someone has been hacking into the computers of the U.S. Treasury and Commerce departments. The SolarWinds Orion a computer network tool is being exploited by malicious actors. Various other government, technology and telecoms organizations all across the world have fallen victim to these malicious attacks since March of this year. Including Dominion Voting Machines. Although the mainstream Marxist media isn’t mentioning that since that might cast doubt on Joe Biden’s election. Some people think it was Russia responsible but it was most likely China.”
. . .
After a visit from his Masonic Lodge Grand Master, Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell recognized Joe Biden as U.S. President-elect and also urged people to take the mRNA vaccines for the Wuhan CCP virus.
Meanwhile in Russia, Russian President Vladimir Putin also recognized Joe Biden as U.S. President-elect even as he co-ordinated plans with Turkey and Iran for an attack on Israel.
. . .
It was the street in Vienna
where Orson Welles had walked
As Harry Lime
The Third Man
The streets were deserted
Covid-19
The Wuhan CCP Virus
Had decreed it so
It had turned health experts
Into Gulag camp overlords
It had turned politicians
Into Hitlers and Stalins and Maos
The people were locked in their homes
Wearing masks and social distancing
Christmas was to be forgotten
Like Scrooge when evil noted
Dracul Van Helsing stood alone
Facing a street of descending street lamps
And a moon that towered
Over the darkening smoke of chimney
A chimney like Mount Doom
That blew the smoke of Sauron
As in the land of Mordor
Where the shadows lie
Van Helsing walked the cobblestone streets
A zither then played the score
of Anton Karas’ theme music
On the night the music died.
-A vampire novel chapter
and poem
written by Christopher
Tuesday December 15th
2020.
Renfield, Cheating Democrats, Ovid, Covid and The Grinch That Stole Christmas
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a phone conversation with his parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana.
“So there’s been a heated war of words between French President Emmanuel Macron and Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan,” Morgana pointed out, “What’s that all about?”.
“Erdogan thinks that Islamist terrorists should be allowed to behead French citizens who show cartoons of Mohammed and Macron disagrees,” Renfield noted, “so Erdogan has used extremely unflattering language about Macron and the French government has recalled its Ambassador to Ankara. And Erdogan is calling for a boycott of all French products.”
“What’s become of this Leonard Constantinople the Crusader Rabbit?” Morgana asked, “I thought he was supposed to be taking on Erdogan.”
“Well after biting off the heads of Melbourne’s SS-NKVD Police Department down in Australia, Leonard is currently resting at a monastic rabbit hole near Mont Saint Michel in France,” Renfield explained, “He’ll be going to battle Erdogan’s forces in Syria next week.”
“What about the U.S. election?” Morgana asked, “Do you still expect a Second American Civil War will break out?”.
“That looks to be the way it’s shaping up,” Renfield nodded, “Especially since it sounds like some U.S. states are going to take their sweet time counting the ballots. Allowing plenty of time for the Democrats to cheat. The Democrats have always had a long tradition of cheating in U.S. history. From the days they rigged ballots in the Dixie South (a past the Democrats now say they were never apart of- dropping Lee’s Battle Flag of Northern Virginia as if it were a brothel whore with syphilis- a flag that these historical illiterates in the Democratic Party say was the flag of the Confederacy- which it wasn’t- it was Lee’s flag that he flew in battle- it didn’t fly over Jefferson Davis’ government Capitol Building in Richmond, Virginia) to the days they bribed drunken Irish voters in New York City with buying them beer to Chicago Mayor Richard Daley getting the residents of cemetery plots in Chicago to cast ballots by proxy helping John F. Kennedy defeat Richard M. Nixon in the 1960 Presidential election. The Democrats are cheaters by nature. Always have been. Always will be. These days however the people who make up the base of Donald Trump’s supporters aren’t going to take that. So a fuse will probably go off the morning of November 4th.”
“Who will win?” Morgana asked.
“I don’t know,” said Renfield, “but Putin and Xi will probably enjoy the spectacle.”
“And what has the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit discovered about the origins of the pandemic?” Morgana inquired.
“Well of course the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit never believed the story that it was a wet market in Wuhan selling bats’ wings or pangolins that was responsible for spreading the virus unlike the brainless mainstream Marxist media in the Western world,” Renfield answered, “At first we thought it was an accidental release of the virus from the Wuhan Institute of Virology. But now the growing evidence is it was deliberate. Although the CCP never intended the virus to affect its own citizens. Just the rest of the world. But often when you let a genie out of a bottle, you’ll never know where it will wind up.”
“And so now what?” Morgana asked.
“Well,” Renfield lit his Sherlock Holmes pipe, “Now we know the name of the grinch who stole Christmas is the CCP Chinese Communist Party Wuhan virus which WHO insists be called Covid-19. Incidentally when they called it Covid-19, a geopolitical analyst friend of mine in Calgary somehow thought maybe this was a play on Ovid 19. The 19th line of the opening book of Ovid’s Metamorphoses. He decided to finally get around to looking it up here towards the end of October and Ovid 19 is “Thus air was void of light, and earth unstable, And water’s dark abyss unnavigable”. Which actually is a pretty damned good description of this year. So whatever demon named that virus for WHO officials earlier this year was probably a damned good classicist and connoisseur of ancient Latin literaure.”
Meanwhile at the North Pole, a doctor was informing Mrs. Claus that Santa with his obese condition had succumbed to the Covid-19 virus and had died.
And in the Vatican, Pope Francis was drafting a document which said Jesus had never been born.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday October 28th
2020.
Renfield Discusses The PRC’s Connection With U.S. Anarcho-Marxist Thugs and Hooligans
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was having a Party caucus meeting with his parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana (Member of Parliament for Newbridge in Wales).
“What’s that card you have on your desk?” Morgana asked Renfield.
“It’s a GET SICK SOON card I just received from Boris Johnson,” Renfield answered.
“I take it that it’s the opposite of a Get Well Soon card,” Morgana smiled.
“That’s correct,” Renfield took the card and put it on his mantlepiece above his office fireplace where a bunch of other GET SICK SOON cards were displayed.
“Who are those other GET SICK SOON cards from?” Morgana inquired.
“From Russian President Vladimir Putin, Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukashenko, China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping, Australia’s Victoria state Premier Daniel Andrews, Pope Francis, Bill Gates and George Soros,” Renfield replied.
“You seem to be very popular with the Hope You Catch Covid Soon crowd,” Morgana noted.
“Yes, that appears to be the case,” Renfield poured himself a brandy and offered one to Morgana which she declined.
She helped herself to a Lemonade Shandy instead.
“I was just reading the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on why the Chinese Consulate in Houston, Texas was closed,” Renfield browsed through the report.
“Didn’t U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo accuse them of stealing trade and technology secrets?” Morgana sipped her Shandy.
“Every Chinese consulate in the world does that but that was Pompeo’s official explanation,” Renfield read the report, “The real reason was because a group of PLA agents provocateur used that particular consulate as the home base for helping to direct the anarcho-Marxist thugs and hooligans who were conducting burning, looting and murdering riots in major cities across the U.S. in what America’s mainstream Marxist media referred to as peaceful protests,” Renfield answered.
“Wow, so the People’s Republic of China were helping to encourage these riots,” Morgana shook her head.
“Yes, there’s a South Korean geopolitical analyst called Kaheva on YouTube who released a video today saying that she thinks foreign spies are helping the rioters,” Renfield sipped his brandy, “She is correct on that although she said she didn’t know what country might be doing it. A geopolitical analyst friend of mine in Calgary discovered back in late July that the Chinese consulate in Houston was being closed because PLA agents provocateur had been using that as their base of operations to help support the Neo-Bolshevik insurrectionary riots throughout U.S. cities. And now the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has reached the same conclusion.”
“So do you still think these riots will lead to civil war in the U.S.?” Morgana ate her plate of Welsh rarebit.
“Yes, the left is already threatening to continue and even intensify the riots if Trump wins the election,” Renfield noted, “Joe Biden in a speech today or rather the fallen angel Mephistopheles speaking through Biden said, “Do you really think America will be less violent if Trump wins re-election?” in a tone of voice that clearly sounded like a threat. Of course it doesn’t matter which side wins the election in today’s polarized America. Neither side will accept defeat. And civil war will probably be the result.”
Film Noir genre style photo of Renfield and Morgana taken by the ghost of Orson Welles.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 10th
2020.
Morgana and The Horns of Cernunnos
Morgana and The Horns of Cernunnos
The Welsh vampiress Morgana was very good friends with Cernunnos the horned stag god of the Celts.
For sport, Cernunnos used to take his bow and arrow and hunt those humans who hunted deer for sport.
In the 13th Century in England, the most notorious stag and deer hunter of them all was Lord James Hamish Belfor of the appropriately named Hellreach Castle.
Cernunnos vowed to put an end to this Lord James Hamish Belfor of Hellreach once and for all.
As Lord Belfor was sitting with his fellow hunters celebrating the day’s hunt in The Cyclops Arms Pub, a monk who was a mystic spoke to him, “Did you know that Cernunnos is now hunting for you, oh Lord Belfor of Hellreach?”.
“Who’s Cernunnos?” Asked one of Lord Belfor’s friends who wasn’t very bright (a number of Canadian Prime Ministers in the far distant future would be descended from this questioner’s loins).
“He’s the horned stag god of the Celts, you ninny,” Lord Belfor of Hellreach laughed as he downed yet another pint of cider.
The monk departed the inn just as the Welsh vampiress Morgana entered.
“You know what I’m going to do?” Lord Belfor boasted to his friends, “I’m going to hunt this Cernunnos myself and I swear to the infernal gods below that I shall have this deity’s stag horns hanging on my own castle wall.”
“You fool,” Morgana laughed at him, “You cannot get the horns belonging to a god. Only someone who gives their soul to a devil can do that.”
The lovely vampiress turned and walked out the pub door.
“Then that is what I shall do,” Lord Belfor of Hellreach laughed.
The following night, Lord Belfor summoned Mephistopheles and sold his soul to him in exchange for coming into possession of the horns of Cernunnos.
And so the horns of Cernunnos ended up on the wall of Lord James Hamish Belfor of Hellreach.
The day after that, Lord Belfor was gored to death by a stag.
And so Mephistopheles did not have to wait long to collect his debt.
Of course Cernunnos being a god, his horns grew back.
But someday he vowed to get back his old horns currently on the wall of the Belfor family’s Hellreach Castle.
. . .
During the 1890s, Lord James Hamish Belfor the 13th was in a position to become Prime Minister of Britain.
In fact, he was the favourite of Germany’s Kaiser Wilhelm II to become Prime Minister of Britain as the notorious and traitorous lord would be the Kaiser’s puppet.
One fateful day, Lord Belfor 13th of Hellreach would slay 13 stags in a forest not far from Hellreach Castle.
He went home to celebrate.
He also expected to be summoned shortly by Queen Victoria to form a government.
That night, he paid a visit to the nearby Cyclops Arms Pub to boast of his success with the members of the Saint Hubertus Hunting Lodge.
When he returned home, he discovered one light was already on in the castle’s grand hall as he walked through the door:
Lights shone on the horns of Cernunnos as the Welsh vampiress Morgana stood underneath.
“What the Hell are you doing here?” Lord Belfor angrily asked Morgana.
Standing on the central staircase of the grand hall was the Celtic stag god Cernunnos who raised his crossbow and fired a poisoned arrow at Lord James Hamish Belfor the 13th.
The dreadful Lord died instantly.
Instead of being summoned by Her Majesty Queen Victoria to form a government, Lord Belfor’s body was measured for a casket in an undertaker’s shop and his soul was carried off to Tartarus by Mephistopheles.
And Cernunnos joined his old horns together with his new ones.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday December 29th
2019.
Renfield Begins Re-Election Campaign
Renfield Begins Re-Election Campaign
By a margin of 438 votes to 20, the British House of Commons voted to approve Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s date for a UK national election to be held this coming December 12th.
This would pave the way for Britain’s first December election since 1923.
Johnson said the British public must be given a choice over the future of “Brexit and the country”.
As the vote took place, British MP Renfield R. Renfield the UK’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering sat on the benches eating a dozen Chick-fil-A chicken sandwiches that he pulled out of a large bag prominently displaying the Chick-fil-A logo.
He also wore a t-shirt showing Lot’s wife turning into a pillar of salt when she turned back to look on the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.
The visual display at the moment of the historic vote lost him the endorsement of both Justin Trudeau and Barack Obama for his re-election campaign (not of course that Renfield was expecting their endorsements anyways).
Renfield also earned himself an excommunication from Pope Francis even though he wasn’t Catholic (but then again it could be argued neither was the Pope).
Renfield went home to the colossal West London mansion of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set where he lived while in London.
He noticed Set on the front lawn outside cutting up a large block of ice and what appeared to be a body inside the block of ice.
Renfield walked through the front door of the mansion where he informed his friend Amadeus Emanon that he would be renting a room in a Bed and Breakfast place in the town of Tewkesbury for the next couple of months as he fought his re-election campaign in his constituency of Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds.
Meanwhile London-based PIs Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie were flying home from New York City to London.
They had just finished handing in a report to Lev Tomi the Secretary General of the UN Secretariat On The Environment and Climate Change on who were the groups and individuals responsible for starting the wild fires that raged through the Amazon rain forests this past summer.
Their investigation came to a sudden halt when they stumbled on a location where shaman priests and priestesses of Pachamama (who was the ancient Inca goddess of the earth and earthquakes) were sacrificing both llamas and humans to Pachamama.
Now that it looked like a UK general election would soon be held, the two private eyes mutually agreed to seek their old jobs as MPs.
For Agathor Christie who had been the British Conservative MP for Tewkesbury In The Cotswolds prior to the spring 2017 British election, this would mean defeating current British Transhumanist MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had beaten him back in spring 2017).
For Magog Rhys Petley who had been British Labour MP for the Welsh constituency of Newbridge prior to the spring 2017 election, this would mean defeating British Transhumanist MP Morgana Fay Lee who was a Welsh vampiress who had beaten him back in spring 2017.
The Welsh vampiress Morgana: the lovely little devil about to take on Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley in the upcoming British general election.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday October 29th
2019.
Miranda Singh Secret Agent Extraordinaire
Miranda Singh Secret Agent Extraordinaire
Miranda Singh secret agent extraordinaire
Miranda Singh was the personal secretary and executive assistant to the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.
She also did secret agent work on behalf of British MP Renfield R. Renfield the UK’s Deputy Foreign Secretary In Charge of Geopolitical Intelligence Gathering.
Her next mission was to fly to Turkey to deliver a personal message to Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan from Renfield.
She reflected that the message she was going to deliver to Erdogan would be a lot more painful than Donald Trump’s butt kissing message to Erdogan in which the Donald gave permission to the Turkish President to help himself to vast swathes of northern Syria 20 miles deep inside the country across the Turkish-Syrian border.
She proceeded to polish and shine and sharpen her spiked stilettos on her high-heeled shoes with which she was going to deliver the message to Erdogan.
. . .
Donald Trump was walking down one of the White House hall corridors when he noticed a glass of orange juice that one of the Secret Service detail had left lying around.
Since Trump had, in a deal, recently given sovereign national territory that didn’t belong to him and wasn’t his to give (i.e. Huge swathes of Syrian territory) over to Turkey, the Donald had no moral qualms (since he didn’t have any morals either) about helping himself to a glass of orange juice that didn’t belong to him and drinking the contents.
“Wow,” Trump said to himself as he sat down at his Oval Office desk after drinking the entire large glass of orange juice, “that’s the best tasting glass of orange juice I’ve ever tasted in my life. I wonder where that secret service agent bought it?”.
At that moment a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears entered the Oval Office.
“Where the Hell did you come from?” Trump asked.
“You can see me?” The exceptionally tall bunny rabbit was astounded.
“I can,” Trump nodded.
“You must have drank a Harvey Wallbanger recently,” said Harvey Tallbanger.
“A Harvey what?” Trump was confused like he was whenever an item from the U.S. Constitution was read to him.
“I’m here to present you with the Neville Chamberlain Munich Peace Prize Award,” Tallbanger held up a box.
Trump had never heard of the Neville Chamberlain Munich Peace Prize but he was grateful to be receiving some sort of peace prize since he was overlooked by this year’s Nobel Peace Prize Committee.
Something he shared in common with Greta Thunberg.
“And what did I do to deserve this?” Trump asked beaming like the noonday sun.
“By handing over another country’s territory that didn’t belong to you to a land grabbing despot from a third country to take for himself,” Tallbanger answered.
“I’m always happy to oblige,” Trump beamed like the full moon in a Moonlight Madness Furniture Sale TV commercial.
“And here’s your award,” Tallbanger started taking it out of the box.
“Bring it on,” Trump said like he did when he awarded the G-7 summit to one of his own Florida golf resorts.
Within seconds, a cream pie landed full force in his face.
“I don’t think this cream goes well with my toupee,” Trump remarked as he looked at himself in the mirror.
“Nothing in heaven or on earth or under the earth goes well with your toupee,” Harvey answered.
. . .
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was in his parliamentary office with his fellow Transhumanist Party caucus member and parliamentary colleague the Welsh vampiress Morgana.
Since both were deputy ministers in Boris Johnson’s cabinet, they were laying out last minute strategy to get the Johnson-Renfield Brexit deal passed in tomorrow’s rare sitting of the Westminster House of Commons on a Saturday.
Renfield had driven his own car over to Parliament today.
His vehicle was momentarily blocked by a group of Extinction Rebellion protestors on the street.
Renfield ended the Extinction Rebellion protestors’ protest by running them over.
“They’re definitely extinct now,” was Renfield’s comment to Morgana as he entered the office.
. . .
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday October 18th
2019.
British Transhumanist- Aquarian Age Bonapartist Alliance
British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s British Transhumanist Party had just forged an alliance with the French Aquarian Age Bonapartist Party of the Kraken who called himself Napoleon VI.
Should Britain have to take part in the May 23rd to May 26th European Parliamentary elections because of a Brexit extension, the British Transhumanists and French Aquarian Age Bonapartists would run together on a joint ticket with Renfield, the Welsh vampiress Morgana, the Kraken Napoleon VI and his wife Medusa seeking elections to the European Parliament.
At first Renfield had been reluctant to join forces with the Kraken since the cyborg octopus belonged to the Church of Scientology (as a result of the Kraken attending a workshop with Tom Cruise and John Travolta a month ago).
However the Kraken had had lunch with German Chancellor Angela Merkel today where she showed the eight legged creature the 2017 turkey remake of The Mummy that starred Tom Cruise.
After the Egyptian mummy princess Ahmanet, Cruise and the producer of the film jointly laid an egg 20 minutes into the movie, this was too much for the Kraken who swore off both Scientology and non-chicken laid eggs when the film ended.
Merkel broke the good news to Renfield by phone.
The Kraken flew to London from Berlin where Renfield and the would-be Aquarian Age French Emperor signed a pact.
Meanwhile in Washington DC, Donald Trump had labelled Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps a terrorist organization.
The government in Tehran responded by labeling all U.S. Armed Forces in the Middle East a terrorist organization.
And the subject on Dr. Phil’s TV talk show today was childish behaviour shown by world leaders.
And on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, the winged horse Pegasus had just landed on the mount the night before the Israeli national election.
And Russian President Vladimir Putin had brought in a spiritist medium to communicate with a Russian brown bear said to be possessed by the spirit of Grigori Rasputin as to why Pegasus would be landing on the Temple Mount the night before the Israeli election.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 8th
2019.
Morgana and Dracul, Vampyra and The Kabbalistic Cardinal
The Welsh Vampiress MP Morgana sitting on top of her coffin in an Estate’s private forest in London
Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had gone to the Austenbronte Estate in London where the Welsh vampiress Morgana kept her coffin filled with her native Welsh soil.
He had received a phone call from her to meet her there.
As he approached her, she sat on her coffin smelling a flower she had found growing in the late February snow.
“Some flowers are blooming early,” Dracul remarked.
“And thistles aren’t far behind,” Morgana answered.
“And who are the thistles?” Dracul deduced that Morgana was speaking in code.
Morgana continued to smell the flower, “It was someone at the Vatican who sent those demon worshipping Tibetan Buddhist monks to try to cast a spell on my parliamentary colleague Renfield with their demon possessed musical instruments a few nights ago.”
“Yes, Renfield was forced to cancel attending last evening’s London premiere of the movie Captain Marvel because the Church of England’s leading exorcist Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds was forced to perform an exorcism on Renfield’s container of Gillette Shaving Cream in Renfield’s bathroom last night,” Van Helsing noted, “although I’m surprised Renfield didn’t give up using that product weeks ago after that fruity Gillette commercial hit the TV airwaves back in January.”
Last night’s London premiere of Captain Marvel: Which Renfield was unable to attend due to a close encounter with a demon possessed container of Gillette Shaving Cream
“And would you like to know who gave the order for the Tibetan demonic attack on Renfield?” Morgana asked the vampire hunter.
“I would,” Dracul took out his notebook and his ink dipped raven feather quill pen.
“Someone who goes around the Vatican singing Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina,” Morgana smiled.
. . .
Samhain Cardinal Salaman lay in bed at the Vatican.
He hoped he wouldn’t be awakened again early in the morning by a certain bozo in white robes who went around singing the same song from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Evita every morning.
He fell asleep and dreamed he met the 1950s American TV horror movie hostess Vampyra who sat on a coffin and offered him a smoky concoction.
Cardinal Salaman eagerly drank the smoking potion.
He soon found himself transported to the Vatican Gardens where he encountered the gypsy vampiress Stephania Borgia:
Stephania Borgia informed him, “If you wish to be the next Pope, you’re going to have to convince Francis to elevate a Welsh werewolf to the Cardinalate.”
“Where am I going to find a Welsh werewolf?” The Kabbalistic magician cardinal asked himself.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 28th
2019.
Dracul Van Helsing 
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