Avalon Rising: A Poem

May 15, 2017 at 4:13 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Poetry, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

And so from Xanadu the mighty Kublai Khan might decree
but did he ever make out with the goddess Aphrodite?
Dracul Van Helsing thought while returning from Athens
and attending service of Glastonbury Abbey matins
among those ancient ruins
far from desert sand dunes.

The Welsh Vampiress Morgana visited Dracul
a break from campaigning against a werewolf fool
in the constituency of Newbridge in Wales
principality ruled by Charles Prince of Tails

Now this vampiress was a niece of Morgan Le Fay
for this vamp had been around since medieval day
and she told Dracul that he was descended from both Morgan Le Fay and King Arthur
making Dracul a king and not just a knight with a knighthood to be called “Sir”

For her aunt the sorceress Morgana and Arthur had another child besides Mordred
the one who at the battle of Camlann both he and Arthur mortally bled
this child was a girl sent to Ireland for safekeeping
as Camelot was overrun by blood and weeping

And Dracul was descended from this princess royal
who was born Morgan and Arthur’s child on Avalon soil

And so after hearing this from Morgana, he wandered far from Glastonbury Tor
this vampiric news that had him hit the ceiling and not the royal floor
he wandered across plains and through trees seeing a doe and her fawn
then he looked and saw the mists of Avalon rising through the dawn

Avalon Rising In The Mists of Dawn

He had once pulled a sword out of a stone in Cornwall many years ago
and now it looked like prophecy would unfold- Avalon’s rising- ’tis so.

-A poem written by Christopher
Monday May 15th 2017.

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Magog Rhys Petley: The Last Werewolf

November 24, 2015 at 8:15 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Magog Rhys Petley: The Last Werewolf

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley sat in a pub drinking a strong whiskey soda.

He usually drank buttermilk as there was an antidote in buttermilk that counteracted the peculiar form of lycanthropy gene he had received ever since he was bitten more than 4 years ago by Rahu the demon responsible for lunar and solar eclipses in Hindu religious tradition.

As a result of that bite, he could occasionally turn into a werewolf even if there wasn’t a full moon.

But today Magog didn’t really care whether he turned into a werewolf or not.

Although he really should be happy.

He had spent most of his life as a backbench MP- whether Labour was the government or whether Labour was the opposition.

Being a far far Left MP and an out and out Marxist-Leninist had confined him to the back benches of the Labour Party particularly when Tony Blair was in power.

Now that fellow far Leftist Jeremy Corbyn was the new leader of the Labour Party, he was now the Party’s Foreign Affairs critic and sat on the Opposition front benches.

But Magog decided that he had been far happier sitting on the back benches.

Sitting on the front benches was much ado about nothing.

Besides nobody noticed when you ran out to the washroom when you sat on the back benches.

And recent Marxists elected to power were turning out to be a huge disappointment Magog thought to himself as he used his pub table candle to burn his personally autographed photo of Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras.

Then over a week ago, his favourite cafe in Paris had been shot up by ISIS terrorists.

He was pretty sure that bullet holes in the windows would take away from the ambience of the place he loved so well.

And now Turkey had shot down a Russian war plane.

There was talk of world war in the corridors of Westminster.

Coincidentally, a Russian submarine had been spotted off the coast of Scotland a few days ago.

And swear words in Russian had recently appeared on the Twitter accounts of Russian naval sailors after they had discovered what were the ingredients in the Scottish haggis they had been eating all week.

The world was going to Hell in a hand basket, Magog thought to himself.

Turning into a werewolf really wouldn’t make much of a difference.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday November 24th
2015.

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Caitlyn Jenner and Magog Rhys Petley

June 3, 2015 at 8:53 pm (Celebrities, Commentary, Culture, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, News, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Caitlyn Jenner and Magog Rhys Petley

Welsh werewolf British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (fresh from his narrow election victory over the Welsh Vampiress Morgana of the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti-Bio Conservative Party in the constituency of Newbridge in Wales in the recent British general election) was in the City of Los Angeles to give a guest speech at a gala dinner calling for Los Angeles City Council to pass a measure to increase the minimum wage to $15 an hour.

The Los Angeles City Council had voted 13-1 today to hike the city’s minimum wage to $15 per hour by 2020 but since the vote was not unanimous, the matter would come back for a final vote next Wednesday.

The next vote only required a majority and need not be unanimous.

Supporters of the bill were hoping that by bringing in a British politician to speak in favour of the measure (albeit an unknown British politician in this country), this would seal the deal since as the best of PBS programming constantly reminded Americans, it’s so cool to be British.

Magog sat at a table as the gala guests arrived.

He read over his speech.

He wondered how starting with a quote from the Greek philosopher Empedocles would go over with an American audience.

Magog sipped from his glass of buttermilk.

Magog often drank buttermilk because there was an ingredient in buttermilk that served as an antidote to the particular variety of lycanthropy he suffered from and prevented his turning into a werewolf.

Often when buttermilk had been unavailable prior to his giving a speech, the result was often a social mishap of gargantuan proportions- a raving, snarling and howling failure.

“Buttermilk?” A beautiful woman in an elegant evening gown sat at the table across from him, “Don’t you drink anything stronger than that?

“Usually,” Magog replied, “but I have to give a speech later on.”

“I know what you mean,” the woman smiled, “my stepdaughter and stepson-in-law often get into trouble for saying outrageous things in public and they don’t even need alcohol to bring it on.”

“Really? Stepchildren?” Magog looked disappointed, “you mean to say you’re married?”.

“Oh yes, I’m married,” the woman smiled, “I’m married and I’m also 65.”

“65? Really?” Magog looked shocked.

The woman must use Oil of Olay, the Welsh werewolf British Labour MP thought to himself.

“I’ve been listening to your accent,” the woman played with one of her earrings, “Are you English?”,

“Welsh,” Magog snarled angrily.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman looked apologetic, “I know what it’s like when people don’t take you for who you truly are.”

“Magog Rhys Petley,” the British Labour MP extended his hand.

“Caitlyn Jenner,” the woman extended her hand.

The two shook hands.

“Oh, excuse me a second,” Caitlyn stood up, “I see trouble brewing. My stepdaughter just broke someone’s iPad with her rear end as she was bending over to pick her purse up off the floor.”

“Really?” Magog looked astonished, “That’s unusual.”

“Of course I broke the entire Internet recently myself when I got the most number of Twitter followers in the least number of hours,” the woman smiled, adjusted her hair and ran off in the direction of the sudden commotion in the hall.

Magog looked in that direction.

He noticed a man- the man looked familiar for some reason (Magog put on his spectacles to take a closer look and thought the man was quite possibly a singer) – shouting at another man and saying, “My wife has the best rear end of all time. The best rear end of all time!” to which the man with the broken iPad replied, “You’re a jack ass!”.

Magog decided to go to the washroom to comb his hair and beard before he was called upon to give his speech.

Twitter eh?

He had been told by some of his parliamentary colleagues as well as members of his constituency and campaign staffs that he should really get a Twitter account himself and start tweeting.

Several politicians these days did have Twitter accounts.

Mikheil Saakashvili the new governor of Ukraine’s Odessa region (and former President of the Republic of Georgia) and Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov had recently been using their respective Twitter accounts to exchange personal insults with one another.

Magog was unsure about whether he should start a Twitter account.

After all, it was rather difficult to reduce his hero and idol Karl Marx’s economic theories of history to a mere 140 characters.

Magog entered the washroom.

As he looked at himself in the mirror while he combed his hair and beard, he recalled something that woman Caitlyn Jenner had said to him about being true to who you really are.

Who was he really? Magog thought about himself.

Man?

Or wolf?

Man, I guess, he thought to himself.

After all, literal wolves probably weren’t allowed to sit as MPs in the British House of Commons.

At least not yet anyways.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 3rd
2015.

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Don Juan Rising: Man and Transhuman

April 7, 2015 at 6:54 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, Mystery/horror, Satire, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Don Juan Rising: Man and Transhuman

Renfield R. Renfield the genetically created hamster/human Chief of Security and Intelligence Gathering for the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was practicing a political speech in front of the living room’s antique Louis XIV Sun King mirror much to his friend Amadeus Emanon’s amusement.

A couple of years earlier, Renfield had founded the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party.

Unfortunately Renfield had not come up with the required number of signatures for his party to be recognized as a registered political party in Britain so he was unable to take part in recent leaders’ election debates or in future leaders’ election debates.

Thus not being a registered party, his candidates had to run as independent candidates in the UK’s various constituencies.

Although there were not that many members of his Party running as candidates anyways.

There were only 10 other candidates running as independents on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti-Bio Conservative Party platform throughout the United Kingdom’s 650 constituencies.

Of these, 9 were thirty something in age long-haired and bearded science-fiction fans who were still living in their parents’ basements.

The 10th was the Welsh Vampiress Morgana (a niece of the sorceress Morgan Le Fay) who was running as an independent on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform against well-known far far Left backbench British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley (who unbeknownst to his constituents and the public at large was a werewolf) in the Welsh constituency of Newbridge.

Renfield himself was running as an Independent on the British Transhumanist Techno-Progressive Anti Bio-Conservative Party platform in the constituency of London Collingwood Hills where his boss the Vampire Set’s colossal mansion was located.

The constituency had been a British Conservative Party stronghold for the past 70 years.

At an all-candidates’ forum in the Constituency last week, Renfield extolled the virtues of living in a society where everybody had upgraded to the new Humanity 2.0 and had become Transhuman.

“It’s the next step in our human evolution,” Renfield waved a copy of The Origin of Species, “Charles Darwin, if he weren’t dead, would have been so proud.”

Renfield said that recent developments in the fields of genetics, robotics, artificial intelligence, nanotechnology and synthetic biology would allow everyone to become Transhuman.

“Think of where technology has taken us these past 100 years,” Renfield enthused, “why 100 years ago only people who lived in your own neighbourhood or own town or city might have known that you’re an idiot. But today thanks to advanced technology and social networking sites such as Twitter, YouTube and Facebook, you now have the chance to show the entire world what an idiot you are.”

The remark did not go over too well for some reason.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 7th
2015.

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Lepardia Marango Gets Email From Magog

February 16, 2015 at 9:17 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Lepardia Marango Gets Email From Magog

Lepardia Marango the cultural attaché at the South African Embassy in London had just received an email from her sometimes dating companion the far left British Labour MP Magog Rhys Petley.

The backbench Opposition MP from Wales was serving as an international observer for the new ceasefire that had just come into effect in eastern Ukraine.

In the email, Magog Rhys Petley had written that he was coming under fire from both sides- Ukrainian and Russian.

He said both Ukrainian government troops and pro-Russian rebel forces were firing silver bullets at him.

Why, she wondered, were both sides firing SILVER bullets at him?

One would think that he was a werewolf or something, Lepardia thought as she sipped her buttermilk.

To be continued.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday February 16th
2015.

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