Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka On Night of The Wolf Moon 2021

January 28, 2021 at 11:59 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Gothic, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )


The Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka on the Night of The Wolf Moon

The January full moon is called the Wolf Moon and on this night a wolf was terrorizing the countryside.

It so happened that the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka was in possession of the battle axe of William Wallace the great Scottish warrior and hero of the 1st War of Scottish Independence who defeated the English Army at the Battle of Stirling Bridge in September 1297.

She also wore the painted red seal of Wallace on her head, left eye and face as she wandered through the snowy woods in search of the wolf terror.

Then Tanaka came face to face with the wolf terror.

She recognized the beast right away from ancient and medieval drawings.

It was the Norse wolf Fenrir.

It was a good thing for Tanaka that she had the great William Wallace’s battle axe with her.

Tanaka threw the Wallacian battle axe and beheaded the wolf.

The wolf’s severed head growled in the now bloody snow surrounding it after it had left its body.

In the Lupine language, the wolf had said through its growling, “I hate it when that happens.”

. . .

The Norse god Odin was staying in a cheap motel room as he would be attending an important meeting the next few days.

The only places in this town where he was staying had cheap motel rooms.

Odin had missplaced his spectacles so he was inserting a contact lens into his sole remaining eye.

He was wanting to watch the 1940 movie Waterloo Bridge starring Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor on television.

As Odin tried to get the contact lens out of the tiny glass bottle container that it was in, he reflected back to a time in Australia when he had accidentally inserted a very small circumcized foreskin into his eye after removing it from a tiny glass bottle container.

“It belonged to some pervert who looked even worse than you did when you dressed up in drag,” Odin had said to his son Thor at the time.

After Odin had got the contact lens into his eye on this Night of the Wolf Moon, Thor came to inform his father that both Loki and Fenrir had been beheaded.

Loki had apparently been beheaded yesterday and Fenrir had been beheaded this evening.

“So,” Odin smiled, “We may not have to fight the Battle of Ragnarok after all.”

Odin and Thor then ordered pizza and take out Chinese food that they had delivered to their motel room and then proceeded to watch the 1940 version of the film Waterloo Bridge on the room’s TV.

Thor despite his tough guy macho image was bawling and sobbing like a baby by the time the movie was over.

Odin phoned down to the front desk to have another box of kleenex tissues brought up to the room.

“I’ll never be able to stand at that spot on London’s Waterloo Bridge again without bursting into tears,” Thor sobbed, “I won’t be able to look at a Buddha good luck charm without bursting into tears either.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 28th
2021.

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Amadeus’ Dream of Three Bruces

August 11, 2015 at 6:39 pm (Culture, Entertainment, History, News, Television, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus’ Dream of Three Bruces

Despite Black Dragon Society conspiracy theorist Daniel Hyperion Sturm’s warnings about not using the Internet before bedtime, Amadeus Emanon had foolishly done so.

And as a result, he was having weird dreams.

Though of course not as weird as Renfield in the bedroom adjacent across the hall who likewise had been using the Internet before bedtime and was now dreaming about being in a Turkish steam bath with porn stars Akira Lane, Nicole Oring and Mika Tan.

Amadeus was dreaming that he and Renfield were sitting in the living room listening to BBC World News on the radio.

BBC Announcer: And those were the words of Miss Caitlyn Jenner, formerly Mr. Bruce Jenner, christening the new Disney cruise ship The Goddess Cybele… In other news, Caitlyn Jenner’s daughter Kylie Jenner has apparently adopted a pet rabbit and named it Bruce.

Amadeus: Wow. I wonder what Sigmund Freud would have to say about that?

Renfield (downing a bottle of Kraken black rum): It might have been more ominous if she had named the rabbit Elektra or Orestes.

BBC Announcer: This bulletin just in… Kylie Jenner has taken her pet rabbit Bruce to see a New Age veterinary guru in Beverly Hills who claims she has the power to communicate telepathically with animals. After silently communicating with the gray rabbit Bruce, New Age guru Miss Kellog S. Flakes said that Bruce had told her that he was really a female rabbit trapped in a male body and that he wanted to undergo veterinary transgender therapy, become a female rabbit, change his/her name to Caitlyn and become the Playboy bunny he/she always desired to be…

Renfield (spewing the Kraken black rum out of his mouth to the goldfish tank on the other side of the room making the goldfish look a lot happier): Good God.

BBC Announcer: Closer to home here in London, the ghost of Scotland’s extremely late King Robert the Bruce spoke to reporters while being channeled through Carnaby Street spiritist gypsy medium Dulcinea Lucia…

Voice of Scotland’s Robert The Bruce (speaking in a thick Scottish brogue while being channeled through Dulcinea Lucia) : Well as you know, we Scots in our day (although there’s nothing wee about us) used to wear kilts much of the time so nobody could have possibly guessed that I was in fact a cross-dresser… a female trapped in a male body. If William Wallace had known, he’d have probably personally impaled his braveheart on Edward I’s English sword…

BBC Announcer: Robert the Bruce added that from henceforth, he desires to be known as Roberta the Caitlyn…

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday August 11th
2015.

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