Day of The Autumn Equinox In Astana Kazakhstan

September 22, 2017 at 6:16 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Day of The Autumn Equinox in Astana Kazakhstan ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ

The Buddhist Goddess of Mercy Kwan Yin was walking the streets of Astana Kazakhstan ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฟ where this year’s Expo 2017 had taken place.

She was startled to see the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith walking the streets along with the Persian Zoroastrian god of evil Ahriman as well as a grey wolf ๐Ÿบ and a Russian Eurasian brown bear ๐Ÿป.

Kwan Yin could see the grey wolf ๐Ÿบ was possessed by the spirit of Adolf Hitler and the Russian Eurasian brown bear ๐Ÿป was possessed by the spirit of Grigori Rasputin.

What were they up to? Kwan Yin wondered to herself.

Behind Kwan Yin, television sets in a store window showed North Korean despot Kim Jong-un watching the music video to Sir Elton John’s song Rocket Man while Donald Trump could be seen looking up the word “dotard” in a medieval 14th Century English dictionary.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 22nd
2017.

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The New Nazi-Russian Pact

August 23, 2017 at 7:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

The New Nazi-Russian Pact

At the suggestion of the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf, Lilith asked the Norse god Thor to go to Hades for her and request the release of Rasputin’s spirit from the Underworld to go up to Russia and again create havoc like he had done for the Czarist government in the previous century.

Rasputin’s spirit promptly entered the body of a Russian Eurasian brown bear and possessed it.

The grey wolf possessed by the spirit of Adolf Hitler and the Russian Eurasian brown bear possessed by the spirit of Grigori Rasputin then signed a treaty today agreeing to someday mutually attack a certain country in the Middle East.

The treaty was signed aboard a Jules Verne visualized helicopter airship that bore the name Albatross II and was owned by the mysterious enigmatic individual known as Robur The Conquerer II.

The witnesses to the treaty were the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith, the little green frog Nimrod and the cigarette smoking demon Asmodeus.

The treaty was signed on this the 78th Anniversary of the original Nazi-Soviet Pact.

. . .

Hillary Clinton sat at the table drinking her glass of lemonade.

She was angry about what a Fox News commentator said about her this morning.

The Fox News commentator had said that she had lost her marbles.

Imagine that, Hillary harrumphed.

She, Hillary Clinton, had lost her marbles.

Sheesh.

What would they say next?

Hillary looked at her guest sitting across the table from her- Dr. Harvey Nash the world’s greatest bunny rabbit mathematician- 6 ft. 6 in height, pinkish coloured fur, jade green eyes wearing an extremely large pair of spectacles ๐Ÿ‘“ on his pinkish bunny rabbit nose and whiskers and who, when he spoke, had a voice that sounded a lot like the late Hollywood actor Jimmy Stewart.

Hillary had recently started seeing Dr. Harvey Nash the world’s greatest bunny rabbit mathematician and had hired him to mathematically examine the tweets of Donald Trump to see if Trump was sending coded messages to Russian President Vladimir Putin through his tweets.

She had informed the editorial boards of The Washington Post and The New York Times about Dr. Harvey Nash’s assignment and they told her that they eagerly awaited the results of the investigation with editors from both papers sincerely saying maybe Dr. Nash’s inquiries should be the subject of a Congressional inquiry.

To be fair, she had also contacted Fox News about bunny rabbit mathematician Dr. Harvey Nash’s investigation.

But she never heard back from them.

The only thing she got was some nasty Fox News commentator saying that she Hillary had lost her marbles.

“Would you like another glass of lemonade, dear?” Bill called from the kitchen.

“No thanks,” Hillary said.

“But you had originally asked for 2 glasses of lemonade,” Bill pointed out.

“Well,” said Hillary, “I was originally wanting a glass for our guest but you didn’t bring him one.”

“What guest would that be, dear?” Bill asked.

Hillary shook her head and smiled at Dr. Harvey Nash the world’s greatest bunny mathematician as he mathematically found a coded message to President Putin in a single 3-letter tweet of Trump that said, WTF?.

“I think Bill is the one losing his marbles around here,” Hillary laughed.

“So no second glass of lemonade then, dear?” Bill asked again.

“No, but do bring some carrots ๐Ÿฅ•,” Hillary said when she noticed how famished Dr. Harvey Nash looked.

“Did you say carrots?” Bill’s voice sounded quizzical from the kitchen.

“Yes, I said carrots,” Hillary sounded exasperated, “and really big ones too.”

“Chelsea,” Bill’s voice rang out, “will you go dig some carrots out of the garden? I’ve eaten carrots but I’ve never dug.”

“The carrots will be along shortly,” Hillary smiled at Dr. Harvey Nash the world’s greatest bunny rabbit mathematician.

. . .

Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan was modelling the robes he would wear when he proclaimed himself the new Sultan of the revived Ottoman Empire (after he had held a national referendum rigged in his favour of course).

The designer of the robes was none other than the great Milan fashion designer ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐ŸŽจ Fabius Faberge.

Erdogan had hired Fabius Faberge to design his Ottoman Sultan robes on the recommendation of British singer Sir Elton John.

“How do they look?” Erdogan asked Fabius Faberge as the Turkish leader twirled around in his robes.

“Fabulous,” Fabius Faberge answered.

August 23rd 2017 was indeed an inauspicious beginning to future geopolitical events on the world stage.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 23rd
2017.

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Lilith, Asmodeus, Kim Jong-un and Aphrodite

May 13, 2017 at 3:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith stood on the Mount of Olives overlooking the old city of Jerusalem.

Alongside her was the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf Hitler (his spirit was granted a temporary leave of absence from the Underworld by permission of Hades and Persephone and he had entered and possessed the body of a grey wolf).

Lilith had found the grey wolf wandering the streets of Kiev, Ukraine (where she was currently living) and had adopted the creature as her pet.

She brought him with her to the Holy Land.

“Someday,” Lilith bragged to the grey wolf, “we shall rid this land of all the Jews.”

“Sounds like a splendid idea to me,” the lupine former Fuhrer wagged his tail.

Meanwhile in France, the demon Asmodeus was visiting the village of Rennes-le-Chateau and more specifically the Church of Saint Mary Magdalene.

He had heard that there was a statue of himself holding up the holy water stoup inside the Church.

“A very good likeness,” Asmodeus grinned as he lit a cigarette and took a selfie of himself alongside the statue and posted it to Facebook.

Meanwhile back at the Presidential Palace in Caracas, Venezuela, Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro was in hot water.

His residence was one of the few places in Venezuela where the hot water was still working.

But none of this concerned the megalomaniacal President as he sat in his bath tub text messaging with his ally North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un.

Kim Jong-un boasted to Maduro on his Skype screen, “I’ve got the Greek god Hephaestus designing and making my missiles for me.”

Meanwhile in Athens, Greece, the Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing had been informed by MI-6’s Diablos Nocturna Division that Hephaestus was now making missiles for Kim Jong-un.

He had arrived in Greece for one purpose.

To convince the Greek goddess Aphrodite to go to Pyongyang North Korea and convince her husband Hephaestus to stop making missiles for Kim Jong-un.

“Why should I do that for you, Dracul Van Helsing?” She asked the Canadian vampire hunter who was also an operative for MI-6.

“I’ll give you an entire evening of reasons why,” said Dracul.

After an evening of passionate love making, Aphrodite got up and greeted the dawn.

The Greek Goddess Aphrodite

“All right,” Aphrodite cooed at Dracul, “I’ll go.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday May 13th
2017.

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The Wolf Adolf, Ahriman’s Korean Envoy and King Solomon’s Ring

April 30, 2017 at 2:20 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

The wolf formerly known as Adolf (his spirit was allowed to inhabit the body of a grey wolf after Thor, at Odin’s request, asked permission from Hades and Persephone to allow Hitler’s spirit to leave the Underworld and to return to Earth for a brief period) was reflecting that today was April 30th- the day back in 1945 when he married Eva Braun and then shot himself.

After watching a BBC TV News Documentary on the state of marriage in the contemporary western world, the wolf formerly known as Adolf wondered whether it wouldn’t be a good idea for most modern husbands to follow in his footsteps.

Over in Pyongyang, North Korea, dictator Kim Jong-un was once again visited by the mysterious beautiful Korean woman in the white gown who had visited him twice before- once in a dream and then again in reality (In reality, she had kicked him in the ass).

“Who are you?” Kim Jong-un asked the mysterious Woman In White.

“I am the messenger of Ahriman,” the woman replied.

“Who’s Ahriman?” Kim asked.

“The Prince of Persia,” the woman answered.

“Persia?” Kim scratched his head, “Oh, Iran! My ally! Along with Venezuela! But I thought my friends the mullahs in Iran had deposed the Shah and kicked out his family. How can Persia then still have a prince?”.

The Woman In White commanded Kim Jong-un to bend over and turn around whereupon she kicked him in the ass again.

In Jerusalem, the Mossad agent called the Controller of the Golem was reading the passage in the Book of Daniel about how the archangel Gabriel wrestled with the (demonic angelic) Prince of Persia for 21 days and was only able to overcome him through the assistance of the Archangel Michael and then deliver his message to Daniel.

The Controller of the Golem closed the book.

And looked over at his desk.

On his desk was a package.

Inside the package was an important artifact of ancient Hebrew history.

King Solomon’s ring.

The signet ring with the Seal of Solomon on it that gave King Solomon the power to command demons to build the Temple in Jerusalem.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 30th
2017.

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The Cat Who Ate Wolves For Breakfast (Plus Lunch and Supper)

April 20, 2017 at 5:03 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, Horror, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The Russian Spetsnaz special forces who had parachuted into Kiev last Thursday under the command of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith were werewolves.

They were a special type of werewolf.

Each soldier was a bodark werewolf.

A bodark is a person who wants to become a werewolf in Russia (as opposed to a a wawkalak who was just turned into a werewolf through the evil actions of the Devil).

To become a bodark, a person would run into a forest and stab a copper knife into a tree (while such an action might be pleasing to manufacturers of copper knives as well as those with huge investments in the copper industry, the undertaking doesn’t go over so well with Greenpeace and tree huggers everywhere).

While still holding on to the knife in the innocently stabbed tree, the would-be bodark is required to repeat this chant:

โ€œOn the sea, on the ocean, on the island, on Bujan,
On the empty pasture gleams the moon, on an ashstock lying
In a green wood, in a gloomy vale.
Toward the stock wandereth a shaggy wolf.
Horned cattle seeking for his sharp white fangs;
But the wolf enters not the forest,
But the wolf dives not into the shadowy vale,
Moon, moon, gold-horned moon,
Cheek the flight of bullets, blunt the huntersโ€™ knives,
Break the shepherdsโ€™ cudgels,
Cast wild fear upon all cattle,
On men, on all creeping things,
That they may not catch the grey wolf,
That they may not rend his warm skin
My word is binding, more binding than sleep,
More binding than the promise of a hero!โ€

Once the tree has been stabbed and the incantation chanted (with Taylor Swift singing “Boys only want love if it’s torture” in the background), the person runs off into a forest and changes into a werewolf as he does so.

Once these Russian Spetsnaz special forces soldiers had become full-fledged grey wolf bodark werewolves, Vladimir Putin put these men under the command of the ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith in a secret treaty he signed with her shortly after his 2014 annexation of Crimea.

Lilith’s Bodark Grey Wolf Squadron did not turn into werewolves during a full moon.

Instead they turned into werewolves after listening to an old Gramophone recording of Josef Stalin singing the Soviet National Anthem in concert with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (under a never revealed protocol of the Tehran Conference that was held from November 28th to December 1st 1943, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir were secretly flown to Moscow on December 26th 1943 (thereby missing out on Utah Boxing Day sales) to make the recording in musical choral accompaniment with Josef Stalin.

As Lilith played the recording turning the Russian Spetsnaz special forces commandos into grey wolf bodark werewolves, another grey wolf was walking the streets of Kiev.

The grey wolf was none other than the ancient Germanic god Wotan’s mortal son Adolf Hitler.

He had been granted permission to leave the Underworld by Hades and Persephone after Thor paid a visit on Odin/Wotan’s behalf requesting that they do so.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf stopped in its tracks when it heard the voice of Josef Stalin singing the Soviet National Anthem.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf visualized the Hungarian actor Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula saying, “Listen to him, the constipated dictator of the night. What a racket he makes.”

When the Gramophone finished playing and the commandos became grey wolf bodark werewolves, they were immediately attacked and eaten by a giant black cat.

The name of the giant black cat was Amorous Laetitia (whose name had inspired the title of a recent papal document although the first name was spelled differently in the Apostolic Exhortation).

Amorous Laetitia was the name of the personal pet cat and familiar of Hecate the Greek goddess of witchcraft.

Hecate had recently been beheaded by Pan Goatee’s astrally projected laser machete while she was in her crone form.

The head had been taken to a New York City cryogenics lab but the lab had been broken into by Loki and Fenrir and Fenrir had eaten the head.

Since then, Amorous Laetitia had torn apart every wolf she had come across in hopes she’d find her mistress’ head.

When she didn’t find it, she just ate the rest of the disemboweled wolf,

After seeing the black cat Amorous Laetitia eat the Spetsnaz bodarks, the grey wolf formerly known as Adolf ran down an alley and entered a building for safety.

The building turned out to be Brodsky Synagogue which was Kiev’s largest.

The grey wolf formerly known as Adolf could not help but think that the gods of the universe were playing some sort of cosmic joke on him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 20th
2017.

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