Fox and Scully: An X-Files Christmas

December 24, 2015 at 8:01 pm (International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, TV Shows, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Fox and Scully: An X-Files Christmas

Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was dreaming.

And in his dream were FBI agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully of the X-Files.

Mulder: Do you believe in the existence of demons, Scully?

Scully (looking at him) : Define demons, Mulder.

Mulder (laughs) : Ever the sceptic eh, Scully. Well I’m not talking about the inner demons that psychologists and psychiatrists talk about. Nor addictions be it drugs, alcohol, sex.

Scully: Sex addiction eh? (laughs) That’s what you are, Mulder. A sex addict.

Mulder: Sex addict? You really think I’m a sex addict, Scully?

Scully (raises her skirt and crosses her legs) : A sex addict who isn’t getting any sex. That makes you the most dangerous kind. A person who then has the ability to sense the Supernatural when it brushes in on the material plane of existence.

Mulder: I’d love to discuss this fascinating theory of yours sometime, Scully.

Scully: Sure, Mulder. Then I’ll sleep with you. And the end result will be you’ll just become a regular normal run-of-the-mill FBI agent. The X-Files will be shut down. And supernatural entities will then have free reign all over planet Earth to bring about their plans of chaos and disorder.

Mulder: Which brings me back to my original question, Scully. Do you believe in the existence of demons? Demons hereby being defined as usually unseen supernatural entities with the ability to occasionally penetrate this material plane of existence- entities that were once angels- but who fell either as a result of joining a chap called Lucifer in rebellion to overthrow God or angels who fell as a result of a desire or inclination to sleep with mortal women which they did- thereby resulting in their fall.

Scully (laughing) : A desire or inclination to sleep with mortal women? There’s your sex addiction coming through again, Mulder.

Mulder: If you’re going to carry on like this, Scully, maybe we should just go into the bedroom for a quickie right now and get this whole X-Files business over with once and for all.

Scully (laughing) : I’m sorry, Mulder. I do find it fascinating though that you have separated the two events.

Mulder: Two events?

Scully (smiling) : Of how angels became demons. First there were angels who joined Lucifer in rebellion against God. They fell and became demons. Then there were angels who lusted after mortal women – they gave in to this inclination and thus fell and became demons. So there were two sets of demons- angels who were originally revolutionaries and then angels who became horny and then literally became horny (along with pitchfork and tails) afterwards.

Mulder: Well according to the 1st Book of Enoch which is the long expanded non-Reader’s Digest non-condensed narrative of the events described in Genesis Chapter 6, God had set those angels as Watchers over the Earth to watch over humanity. Why would God choose demons as Watchers? If you read the narrative carefully, those Watchers were originally good angels who fell as a result of giving in to their desire to sleep with mortal women.

Scully: All right, Mulder.

Mulder: I was told that in Eastern Orthodox Church tradition angels had up until the 1st Coming of Christ to decide whether they were for or against God. Once Christ arrived the 1st time in incarnate form as a babe in Bethlehem, the choices angels had made up until that point in time decided their eternal fate. Michael, Gabriel and Raphael had consistently chosen for God so their eternal fate as good angels was finally sealed at Christ’s 1st Coming. Just like for humans, the choice is open up until the moment of their death or until the 2nd Coming of Christ (whatever happens first in the respective lives of humans) to decide to be for or against God.

Scully (smiling) : This is fascinating, Mulder. You should have become a priest.

Mulder: I’d have problems with celibacy, Scully, for reasons you deduced earlier in our conversation.

Scully (smiles) : Are you saying that I’m right, Mulder?

Mulder: You’re always right, Scully.

Scully (crossing and uncrossing her legs several times) : True compliments have their rewards, Mulder.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday December 23rd
2015.

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