Dr. Marmalade Montague Examines Set Enterprises Intelligence Network

September 17, 2020 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Dr. Marmalade Montague (who wasn’t really a doctor) was a Paris baker who had a mental breakdown after his Paris bakery closed permanently (due to inability to pay rent) during the spring lockdown in Paris, France earlier this year.

After his breakdown, Dr. Marmalade Montague imagined that he was the Court Scientist to the Court of Louis Quatorze who had become trapped in a time warp and was taken from France’s Sun King epoch to this year of 2020.

Montague flew to England from France in a hot air balloon (that was powered by an old gramophone on which played a record disc that had on it The Collected Speeches of French President Emmanuel Macron).

Montague showed up at the Set Enterprises Laboratory and Persian Rug Warehouse (which was one and the same building) in London.

Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher took pity on him and gave him a job.

Today Dr. Marmalade Montague sat in his office and watched on his computer things that were happening with the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit since he had somehow inadvertently managed to download the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit App (which was actually harder to download than the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security, MI-5, MI-6, FSB, GRU and Chinese Ministry of State Security apps) to his computer.

In the Set Enterprises daycare centre meanwhile, a 3-year-old child had downloaded the ASIO (Australian Security Intelligence Organization) app
as had 3-year-old children in daycare centres across the planet.

Dr. Montague watched a Skype conversation between the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (who was a Renfieldian double agent in the Chinese Ministry of State Security) and British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who prior to his election to Parliament in June 2017 had been Chief of Intelligence Gathering and Security Operations For Set Enterprises).

“So, Rennie,” Mei-ling addressed the Churchillian Transhumanist Member of Parliament, “you’ve undoubtedly heard by now that a CCP (Chinese Communist Party) front the San Francisco-based Chinese Progressive Association has been providing funding for BLM inspired rioting across the U.S.”.

“Yes, I’ve heard that,” Renfield had taken apart his egg roll to see if there were any wiretaps in it and finding none had put sweet and sour orange sauce over it and ate it, “so this is further confirmation that the CCP has been financing the ongoing anarcho-Marxist thug and hooligan riots (what the mainstream Marxist media in the U.S. call “peaceful protests”) that have been taking place in America all summer with the approval of numerous U.S. Democratic Party mayors and governors.”

“Yes, the CCP definitely wants to see the Biden/Harris ticket win in November,” Mei-ling sipped a glass of red wine.

“Another thing they have in common with the mainstream Marxist media,” Renfield started examining his Peking Duck for signs of a wiretap inside.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday September 17th
2020.


Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu relaxes with candlelight and music.

Permalink 10 Comments

Renfield Tackles The Tinpot Dictator Down Under

September 8, 2020 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

“The Victoria state government of Premier Daniel Andrews is Australia’s Vichy regime to Xi Jinping’s Thousand Year Reich.
That’s why he imposes despotic draconian lockdowns, sends in riot police (in the manner of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukasheno) to crush protestors and arrests pregnant women when they voice their dissent with his policies on Facebook.”
-Renfield R. Renfield

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on Australia’s Victoria state Premier Daniel Andrews.

The report showed close collusion between the Victoria Labour Party Government of Daniel Andrews in Melbourne and the Chinese Communist Party ever since Daniel Andrews became Premier of Victoria back in 2014.

Victoria Yang a Victoria Labour Party staffer with links to the Chinese Communist Party and a friend of Daniel Andrews’ senior China advisor Marty Mei recently came up with the theory that the U.S. was responsible for creating Covid-19 and was using its army to spread the virus across the globe.

Comrade Dan or Chairman Dan as the Victoria Premier was called had effectively turned Australia’s Victoria state into an economic vassal of Communist China boldly signing up to Xi Jinping’s new Silk Road policy.

Comrade Dan criticized Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison’s National Government in Canberra for cancelling foreign deals with China.

Lastly the Set Enterprises report noted the similarities in the way Daniel Andrews handled anti-lockdown protests in Melbourne with the way the new Hong Kong Security Law of Xi Jinping’s Hong Kong Police handled protestors in Hong Kong and the way the security forces of Belarusian President Aleksandr Lukashenko handled protestors in Minsk.

Renfield put in a call to the Set Enterprises eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis oil powered dirigible airship The Hooterville Cannonball which was currently flying in the Asia-Pacific region.

Hours later as kangaroos and koala bears stood outside Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ office holding signs that read WE DARE CALL IT TREASON,
Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews felt a sharp prick into his buttocks as if some invisible entity was shoving a needle into it.

The needle went through the Josef Stalin walrus moustache that was growing on Andrews’ left buttock and went all the way through narrowly missing the Adolf Hitler moustache that was growing on Andrews’ right testicle.

An SS-Gestapo and KGB style security officer working for Andrews and who had been drinking Harvey Wallbangers on the job said that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears who had injected the needle.

The call went out around Melbourne.

In an empty Melbourne movie theatre meanwhile Uncle Ernie had entered it to give a performance as his drag queen altar ego Cumelita.

Sadly there was no one inside and forgetting what day of the year it was, Uncle Ernie thought it was Easter and so he went to his dressing room back stage and put on his Easter Bunny costume.

He exited the theatre where he was immediately thrown to the ground and handcuffed while some Imperial Stormtrooper looking official spoke through a megaphone, “You’re under arrest for assaulting Victoria Premier Daniel Andrews’ buttocks.”

The Easter bunny attired Uncle Ernie was then thrown into the back of a police van and taken to Secret Police Headquarters for interrogation.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday September 8th
2020.

Vril Society psychic medium Maria Orsic forseeing the events of September 8th 2020 on her Nazi prototype laptop on this date back in 1943.

Permalink 8 Comments

Renfield Insults Xi Jinping and Hong Kong’s Police Chief Gets Hemorrhoid Inducing Serum

September 7, 2020 at 10:29 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Over the weekend a 12 year-old-girl in Hong Kong who had gone downtown to buy art supplies found herself in the midst of a protest.

When she ran to get away from the protestors, the Hong Kong Police, anxious to show the world that they were even more stupid and incompetent than the Keystone Cops of silent movie era Keystone Studios fame, ran after her, threw her to the ground with half a dozen cops lying on top of her and handcuffed her and dragged her away in a police van to jail.

The incident reached the ears of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

As China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping (who had just brought in the Hong Kong Security Law this past summer that effectively ended Hong Kong’s freedom and autonomy and made the island effectively part of a one system Chinese Communist totalitarian state) sat down at his computer, his computer had been hacked by the Set Enterprises Intelligence Team Unit.

There on his computer screen was a smiling Renfield R. Renfield who sat there playing his guitar and singing a song,

“Hey Xi Jinping, you’re a loser,
you’re a 12-year-old girl abuser,
I guess you think you’re 10 feet tall
Even though your homegrown chopstick is so small,
The Heaven above is displeased with you,
That’s why summer snow has been falling too
Letting you know your reign will be through
after India’s army kicked your ass so blue…”

A livid Xi Jinping put in a phone call to his Ministry of State Security and demanded they assassinate Renfield R. Renfield.

Meanwhile in Hong Kong, the Hong Kong Commissioner of Police Chris Ping-keung Tang had felt a sharp injection in his buttocks earlier today.

One of his assistants (who had been drinking way too many Harvey Wallbangers) said that the culprit was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.

As the all points bulletin and call went out among the Hong Kong Police Force to be on the lookout for a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears, the mostly sober (but nevertheless still incompetent) Hong Kong police were unable to spot him.

As for the injection, it was a serum invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher that would tie the Hong Kong Commissioner of Police for 1st place along with Vladimir Putin in having the worst case of hemorrhoids in all recorded history.

And in Beijing, the Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (an ally of Renfield R. Renfield) was waiting to put the final touches on a plan to punish Xi Jinping.

Chinese vampiress Mei-ling Manchu

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday September 7th
2020.

Permalink 16 Comments

Lightning Strikes Oriental Pearl Tower In Shanghai

August 11, 2020 at 11:19 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was conversing with his friend Amadeus Emanon via Skype.

“So what’s The Hooterville Cannonball up to?” Amadeus asked Renfield.

The Hooterville Cannonball was the name of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis oil powered dirigible airship.

“Well, she was in the Philippines yesterday buying a whole bunch of giant clams for Set’s proposed clam bake in September (unless it’s outlawed by the Boris Johnson government for fear it will violate social distancing),” Renfield was coincidentally eating some West Philippine Sea giant clams as he said this.

“I heard reports from an eccentric Australian named Uncle Ernie that I met in a pub yesterday that, according to the short wave radio that’s hidden in his tin foil hat wearing desert cactus plant that apparently smokes pot according to him, that the Hooterville Cannonball was flying in the direction of mainland China after purchasing the giant clams from Philippine fishermen,” Amadeus helped himself to some marijuana laced oysters.

“That’s true,” Renfield nodded, “Set Enterprises received information that a Chinese Ministry of State Security official wishes to defect to the West and specifically Britain because he apparently enjoys the idea of eating fish and chips while picnicking in the park which is a quaint British pasttime.”

“What inspired him to defect?” Amadeus asked.

“He apparently encountered the legendary immortal Princess Kwan Yin (who’s venerated as a goddess of mercy in some branches of Buddhism) outside a cave in a rural area of southern China and she smiled at him causing him to faint because she was so beautiful,” Renfield explained.

“When did this happen?” Amadeus inquired.

“Yesterday,” Renfield explained, “His old fashioned wireless put in an emergency distress call that was in fact picked up by the short wave radio hidden inside Uncle Ernie’s tin foil hat wearing desert cactus plant that smokes pot and Uncle Ernie’s cactus communicated the message to Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster’s lobster antennae. Since the Hooterville Cannonball happened to be in the vicinity, Set ordered it to China to pick up the defector.”

“I hear China has been undergoing all sorts of extreme weather phenomena the past few months,” Amadeus noted.

“That’s true,” Renfield unveiled a weather map of China he happened to have behind him, “There has been extreme flooding in many parts of China causing many dams to burst which makes the situation even worse.
This past July 28th snow actually fell in the city of Beijing on a hot summer day. Although Chinese Communist party officials denied it was snow because being good Marxists, they deny objective reality. Then yesterday a very bizarre series of unusual looking lightning bolts struck the Oriental Pearl Tower in Shanghai which is the 6th tallest tower in the world. So naturally the China Daily which is the Communist Party of China’s daily English language newspaper immediately issued a story that lightning did not strike the Oriental Pearl Tower.”

“Another denial of reality,” Amadeus commented.

In Beijing, China’s paramount and officially atheist leader Xi Jinping commented to no one in particular, “The Emperor of Heaven is not against me despite all appearances.”

A seagull came down and laid a one thousand year old egg in his hair.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday July 11th
2020.

Permalink 29 Comments

Kwan Yin Vs. The CCP

August 10, 2020 at 11:26 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was commenting on the radio about an elderly woman being attacked in Portland, Oregon by Antifa demonstators, “Both Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky and Romanian pastor Richard Wurmbrand had this to say about the nature of Communism, Communism is mass demonic possession. This past weekend an elderly woman in her 70s walking down the street just minding her own business was set upon by a group of demonstrators who were out on the streets rioting and looting and creating mayhem in that nightly spectacle going on in many U.S. cities that the brainless mainstream American media has dubbed “peaceful protests”. She had red paint poured all over her hair and a police CAUTION tape pasted on her mouth while a bunch of loudmouth (undoubtedly lesbian) blowhards shouted “Wear a mask! Wear a mask!”. The fact that these sick deranged bastards think it’s so important to wear a mask just shows what the true critical thinkers and true free thinkers of our day have been saying all along, “Wearing a mandatory face mask has nothing to do with stopping the virus or saving people’s health. It has to do with submission to the Marxist New World Order being planned and foisted upon the world by the planet’s global elitists. If you can get multitudes of people to accept covering their faces in public (which they’ve done!), you can get multitudes of people to accept taking the Mark of The Beast (which is on its way! Bill Gates is working on it.).”

Meanwhile Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer was laying down on her dining room table for some reason or other.

She then started levitating.

When she was 6 feet up off the table (no doubt practicing social distancing), her head started spinning around at 360 degree angles all over the place.

She opened her mouth and frogs and toads started coming out of it.

The cable TV repairman who had entered the house to fix the cable TV stopped dead in his tracks.

He decided to turn and exit.

He’d fix the cable at another time on another day.

Over in Hong Kong, dissidents were being rounded up and arrested under the draconian new Hong Kong Security Laws imposed by the CCP over on mainland China.

Meanwhile Hong Kong’s retired bishop Cardinal Joseph Zen lamented the death of freedom in Hong Kong.

He then went on to criticize the Vatican-Beijing Agreement On The Catholic Church in the People’s Republic of China (that had been negotiated by the American predatory homosexual Cardinal Theodore McCarrick whose other activity mainly consisted of sexually assaulting altar boys and young seminarians).

Bishops in the underground Church in China who were required to join the government founded Chinese Catholic Patriotic Association on orders from Pope Francis (under the terms of the agreement) were required to renounce the Catholic Faith in order to join the Association, Cardinal Zen told the astonished news media who were not aware of the terms of the Vatican-Beijing Agreement (namely because both Beijing and the Vatican were keeping it secret).

An astonished Anderson Cooper asked the demon Asmodeus and the little green frog Nimrod in an interview CNN brass decided not to show on television, “How is it possible that Pope Francis asked bishops in the underground Church to renounce the Catholic Faith in order to join the Patriotic Association?”, Asmodeus answered, “Well, that’s no problem for Pope Francis. Because Francis renounced the Catholic Faith himself years ago.”

Cardinal Zen also told the media assembled, “One of Hong Kong’s most pre-eminent journalists said months ago that the CCP is paying the Vatican $2 billion a year to keep the agreement in place ever since it was signed. What I find most disturbing is not the claim itself but the fact that to this date, the Vatican has still not denied it.”

Meanwhile in mainland China yet another statue of Guanyin (who is also called Kwan Yin), who is venerated as the goddess of mercy in some branches of Buddhism, had been torn down on orders of Xi Jinping and the CCP.

Guanyin was a Chinese princess whom the late Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen noted had developed a deep veneration for Mary the Mother of Jesus after the first Christians entered China after coming east from Assyria.

Kuan Yin’s acts of compassion during her lifetime were noted by everyone.

There were some, the Black Dragon spirit advisor to China’s paramount leader told Xi Jinping, who said that Kwan Yin had drank from a hidden spring of immortality located somewhere in China and had become immortal.

“I have no time for fairy tales,” Xi said as he looked up from reading the latest public statement from his puppet WHO’s Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus.

Meanwhile outside a cave in a rural part of southern China, a Chinese Ministry of State Security operative was following a woman that villagers had told him was Kwan Yin.

She stood outside a cave.

Kwan Yin turned and smiled at the State Security operative.

The man fainted in response.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday August 10th
2020.

Permalink 16 Comments

Xi, Justin, Renfield and That Damned Dam

July 15, 2020 at 10:40 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was reading a Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit report on what was currently happening in the People’s Republic of China.

It appeared that the Xi Jinping regime in Beijing was deliberately releasing floodwater from the spillway on the Three Gorges Dam to flood the city of Wuhan and a few other cities.

There was of course heavy rainfall that was going on in the region and the Xi regime would naturally blame the flooding and subsequent deaths on the weather.

But it would appear that the majority of the flooding was in fact being caused by the deliberate releasing of floodwater on the dam’s spillway.

“What the Hell is Xi Jinping doing?” Renfield asked Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster who was in a nearby lobster tank.

Michelangelo shrugged his lobster claws.

He had been trying to psychically probe Xi Jinping’s evil genius mind but his efforts were being blocked by the sinister looking face of an evil Black Dragon spirit entity.

On the television set in the room that both MP and lobster were in, Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on the screen said that he did not think that the Two Michaels (Two Canadians Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor who were arrested and detained in China in December 2018 shortly after Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou was arrested at Vancouver International Airport by Canadian authorities at the request of the U.S. State Department) were in any grave danger as he sat and twiddled his thumbs while Canada’s slow moving justice system heard the extradition case involving Meng which would probably involve years of appeals and eventually wind up in the Supreme Court of Canada while the Two Michaels would spend their time enjoying the hospitality to be found in a Communist Chinese prison.

Justin had spent much of his first term in office as Prime Minister interfering with Canada’s judicial system in an effort to save a corrupt Quebec construction firm from criminal prosecution.

Now the inept failed former High School Drama teacher (best known for putting on blackface) said, “It is unCanadian to interfere with the independence of our judicial system. So I will not trade Meng for the two Michaels.”

“Idiot,” Renfield thought and then the news showed a brief news story and film footage about an entire Chinese family being swept way in the floods that hit their city.

Like Stalin’s enforced famine on Ukrainian farmers in the years 1932-33, the floods hitting China in this early summer of 2020 was a man-made phenomenon (caused by deliberately releasing floodwater on the Three Gorges dam’s spillway).

Xi’s ass was being helped by heavy natural rainfall in the region and so the world wouldn’t raise a heap of protect.

Because, Renfield noted, the world was being distracted by the bioweapon virus that had accidentally been released by the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

That is, Renfield thought, if it was an accident.

With a homicidal maniac like Xi on the world stage, one could never be sure.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday July 15th
2020.

Permalink 26 Comments

Marxist Puppets On Strings

June 30, 2020 at 10:49 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Pan Goatee exited the grocery store where a very unusual version of an old Elvis Presley song was playing above the store aisles,

“Are you Marxist tonight?
Are you sorry you read Das Kapital?….”

While exiting the store, the genetically created satyr serial killer encountered a fat ugly blimp with a butch haircut and a streak of a very ugly looking shade of blue in her hair.

“Why don’t you wear a paper bag over your head when you go out in public, you ugly looking bull dyke freak?” Goatee commented as he lopped off her head with his astral laser machete.

“Hey, you shouldn’t call people bull dyke freaks,” snivelled a man who could have easily passed for being a member of Pope Francis’ curia if he lived at the Vatican or a hairdresser if he lived in Beverly Hills California, “especially during Pride week when we’ve got the Marxist-Leninist New Age Maitreyan occultic inverted rainbow displayed all over the place?”.

“Why don’t you turn into a pillar of salt like Lot’s wife did?” Goatee calmly answered as he lopped off the whiner’s head.

The whiner’s head exploded in a massive burst of salt (with a dash of pepper) as it hit the ground.

Meanwhile over in Beijing, Xi Jinping was playing with some controls that managed the electric invisible puppet strings that controlled Xi’s puppet Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus the Ethiopian Communist who had headed the World Health Organization since 2017.

“The Covid-19 virus is still here, the Covid-19 virus is still here,” Dr. Tedros shouted in a fit of apoplexy as he rode a toy horse coloured pale green.

“Good news on the Hong Kong front,” the supernatural entity known as the Black Dragon who was Xi’s spirit guide advisor smiled, “the Hong Kong Security Law is now law in Hong Kong. We can now start throwing people in jail by the millions.”

“That’s great,” Xi beamed like a beatific Buddha if Buddha had been possessed by a demon, “no doubt Democatic Party governors and Mayors in America will continue to take notes from my actions as they round up Christians and other non-Marxists in the U.S.”.

“That is if the Neo-Marxist insurrectionists and Neo-Jacobin revolutionaries don’t guillotine them all first once they finish tearing down all the statues of the old America,” the Black Dragon laughed like Mount Vesuvius erupting over Pompeii in 79 AD.

“Exactly,” Xi got one of his drag queen roosters to lay a 1000-year-old egg.

“There’s good news on the Taiwan front as well,” the Black Dragon guffawed like Krakatoa erupting in 1883.

“Really?” Xi directed one of his guards to deliver the 1000-year-old egg to the Wuhan Institute of Virology for old times’ (i.e. December 2019) sake.

“Yes, in the supernatural realm angels who had been guarding the island of Taiwan on the orders of the Archangels Saint Michael and Saint Raphael have now withdrawn from Taiwan on their angelic commanders’ orders,” the Black Dragon cackled like Mount Pinatubo in 1991.

“Why?” Xi asked.

“Because Taiwan just held a huge Pride parade honouring the Alphabet Soup Disciples of Baphomet,” the Black Dragon started brushing his teeth with a Dyson powered vaccum cleaner.

“The Italian Marxist theoretician Antonio Gramsci was certainly right when he theorized that honouring Baal and Baphomet practices and introducing them into a country’s wider culture can easily pave the way for the triumph of Communism everywhere,” Xi got his drag queen rooster to lay another 1000-year-old egg, “We can probably annex Taiwan by summer’s end this year.”

Meanwhile on the White House lawn in Washington DC, Dr. Anthony Fauci wearing a Chicken Little suit (given him as a gift by Xi Jinping) started clucking, “100,000 cases a day are coming. 100,000 cases a day are coming.”

America’s leading self-proclaimed expert on viruses was then struck by a virus that turned him into a garden gnome lawn ornament.

“Where did that stupid looking lawn ornament come from?” Donald Trump asked his British butler and valet Lexington as he gazed out from his Oval Office window.

“No idea, sir,” Lexington shook his head, “It wasn’t there this morning when Andrew Jackson’s statue was chasing Nancy Pelosi across the lawn with a 6 foot giant Cuban cigar in his mouth.”

“Strange,” Trump wondered where Jackson got the Cuban cigar.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday June 30th
2020.

Permalink 3 Comments

Renfield and Set Discuss The New Hong Kong Security Law

May 27, 2020 at 9:45 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Renfield and Set Discuss The New Hong Kong Security Law

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set were discussing the Chinese National People’s Congress recently passed new Security Law for Hong Kong.

“So you continue to stand by your claims in your Yorkshire Television interview that this new National Security law will mean the end of Hong Kong’s autonomy and freedoms?” Set inquired as he ate more live crocodiles from a nearby tank dispelling long held rumours across many millennia that he was the father of the Egyptian crocodile god Sobek (he wasn’t).

“That is correct,” Renfield ate his roast beef and Yorkshire pudding.

“And U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is now recommending that the U.S. Congress revoke Hong Kong’s special status as a favoured trading partner since the island will now effectively be under the control of the Beijing regime?” Set helped himself to a box of chocolates.

“He is,” Renfield sipped a brandy, “and as was to be expected, China’s Foreign Minister Wang Yi and various Chinese diplomats around the world are now throwing hissy fits in the wake of Pompeo’s announcement. They’re running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off and it isn’t even the Year of the Rooster.”

Set bit into his coq au vin, “And Beijing continues to influence the World Health Organization and its policies and collection of data?”.

“It does,” Renfield nodded as he ate a Devil’s food cake, “To say nothing of friendly relations between Bill Gates and the People’s Republic of China.”

“And I take it the Chinese Ministry of State Security is continuing its persecution of the underground Chinese Catholic Church with Pope Francis’ blessing and whole hearted approval?” Set bit into his Argentinian empanadas.

“They are,” Renfield admitted, “Recently Francis told China’s underground Catholics to get with the program (which is worshipping Xi Jinping as China’s national god) because as we know Pope Francis in his idiotic Abu Dhabi Declaration of last year stupidly asserted that “God wills the diversity of all religions”.

“I’m sure my conceited brother Osiris and my equally conceited nephew Horus will wholeheartedly agree,” Set lit a pipe, “I myself have reached the conclusion years ago that being a god isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be.”

Set started choking on his pipe smoke.

“They say that the Roman Emperor Vespasian’s last words on his death bed were “I fear I’m becoming a god”,” Renfield acknowleged.

“Maybe we should have Xi becoming a god permanently,” Set threw a thousand year old egg into a garbage can.

“You’re suggesting that we should bump Xi Jinping off?” Renfield opened up a can of a new brand of cola called Socrates’ Non-Hemlock Cola.

“I am,” Set added a pinch of salt to his glass of Dr. Pepper.

“I’ll put in a call to my friends the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu and the vampiress Ho Babylon Minh right away,” Renfield picked up his smart phone.

-A vampire novel chapter 
written by Christopher 
Wednesday May 27th
2020.

Permalink 9 Comments

Testing, Testing…

May 22, 2020 at 10:39 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Testing, Testing… 

Amadeus Emanon and British MP Renfield R. Renfield were having a conversation via Skype.

“What do you think of this new national security law that the Chinese Communist Party National People’s Congress has just passed for Hong Kong?” Amadeus asked his friend Renfield.

“It means the death of autonomy for Hong Kong and the end of the “one country, 2 systems idea”,” Renfield replied, “What freedoms Hong Kong previously held will now be crushed under Xi Jinping’s heels. No doubt Democratic Party politicians in the U.S. are busy taking notes. Their appropriately named House of Representatives bill H.R. 6666 that will allow for the establishment of so-called “entities” to do Covid-19 testing, tracking and contact tracing including entering people’s residences for that purpose no doubt is making the ghosts of Hitler’s old Gestapo and Stalin’s Soviet surveillance agencies green with envy.”

“What’s happening in Europe?” Amadeus inquired.

“Measures vary from country to country,” Renfield answered, “You have to wear masks in public in Germany, France is slowly re-opening its economy and Italy is doing the same.”

“How about Canada?” Amadeus poured maple syrup on his pancakes.

“Well Justin Trudeau, like the U.S. Dems, is wanting to establish a national testing, tracking and contact tracing service in the country,” Renfield sipped a brandy, “Laventriy Beria would feel quite at home in North America today.”

. . .

Dashwood Forrest owner of the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London was bothered by the fact that in his 1860 Basil Hallward oil paintings of Dorian Gray and Dorian Gray’s teddy bear that he kept behind purple velvet curtains in a room in the gallery marked PRIVATE, both Dorian Gray and his teddy bear were now wearing face masks in the picture.

“Why are they wearing face masks in the picture?” Forrest asked.

“Have they tested positive for Covid-19?” Suggested Forrest’s living dead Irish manservant Mulligan the Irish zombie as one of his arms and his head fell off.

Earlier in the day, Mulligan the Irish zombie had borrowed Dashwood Forrest’s 1909 Thomas Flyabout antique motor car to go to a Covid-19 testing drive through facility.

Mulligan’s arrival had sent Covid-19 testers screaming out into the streets.

A piece of foreskin that Mulligan had left behind (he had decided to attend the drive through in the all together like his Australian hero Uncle Ernie had at a Sydney Covid testing drive through a week earlier) tested positive for Covid-19.

As a result, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was now reading a confidential report that hypothesized that a second wave of the Covid-19 virus might include a possible zombie apocalypse.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 22nd
2020.

Permalink 6 Comments

Michelangelo’s Vision of No More Xi

May 3, 2020 at 9:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Satire, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Michelangelo’s Vision of No More Xi

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was having a bubble bath and playing with his rubber ducky when suddenly he picked up a news bulletin from the future on his psychic lobster antennae.

BBC News Announcer: What we know so far is that Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping was killed in an attack on Xi’s palace by an American plane.
This is probably the most dangerous international geopolitical tinderbox since the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1962.
Our London reporter Ernstwhile Humphreys is reporting on the British public’s reaction to the possibility of a nuclear World War III.
Ernstwhile, can you hear me?

Ernstwhile: Yes, I can, Terence.
Stores all across the United Kingdom are reporting the biggest run on toilet paper since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic.

The camera breaks away as masked spectators in the background start singing, “Rule Britannia. Britannia rules the rolls.”

BBC News Announcer: Thank you, Ernstwhile.
We’ve just received word from our BBC Beijing correspondent Babel Ling Brooks as to what led to this major geopolitical incident.

Babel Ling Brooks (looking resplendent in her scarlet red evening dress): Thank you, Terence.
Surprisingly what hawks in the Chinese Communist Party are calling a U.S. directed airplane assassination on Xi had actually started out as a peaceful diplomatic overture from Washington DC to Beijing.
In a special White House ceremony, Donald Trump had just named actor Harrison Ford (of Han Solo and Indiana Jones fame) as U.S. Goodwill Ambassador to China and had asked the septuagenarian actor to fly to China in his own private plane (which Ford always pilots himself) to Beijing to deliver a personal message of peace and goodwill to Xi.
According to my sources in Beijing Air Traffic Control, Ford, while piloting his plane, overshot the Beijing airport by an unbelievably large number of kilometres and ended up crashing into Xi’s palace right into the paramount leader’s bedroom where Xi was apparently paramounting one of his many female concubines.
Xi was killed instantly- his head being severed by one of the plane’s rotating propeller blades and ending up on a silver platter below an Italian Renaissance artist’s painting of Salome Doing The Dance of The Seven Veils that Xi had apparently been given as a gift from Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman.
The concubine has fortunately survived unharmed and is currently entertaining bids from both CNN and Fox News as to which U.S network she’ll grant an exclusive interview with first.”

The vision ended with the concubine holding a Siamese cat being invited to the White House by Donald Trump.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 3rd 
2020.

Permalink 2 Comments

Next page »