Xi’s Overindulgence In Egg Rolls Leads To Nightmares

June 4, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Musicians at a Hong Kong concert for the victims of the June 4th 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre.

Xi Jinping the despotic and genocidal Communist dictator of the People’s Republic of China had overindulged in egg rolls with extra sweet plum sauce this evening.

As the result of his overindulgence began to weigh on his stomach, Xi turned on the television.

To his horror, he stumbled across a channel that had the audacity to show an illegal concert being held in Hong Kong tonight to commemorate the victims of the June 4th 1989 Tiananmen Square Massacre.

The musician on the right was Xi’s notable enemy the vampiress Mei-ling Manchu.

The sight of vampiress Mei-ling Manchu a notable enemy of the Chinese Communist Party performing at an illegal concert in Hong Kong commemorating the 32nd anniversary of the Tiananmen Square Massacre was too much for Xi to handle.

After putting in a phone call ordering that the programming manager of the TV channel that had broadcast the illegal concert commemorating the Tiananmen Square Massacre be immediately shot by firing squad, Xi took a sleeping pill and went to bed.

In his dream, Xi dreamed that he was a captive of British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

“Now,” said Renfield, “I want you to sign this confession admitting that the Covid-19 virus was released by the Wuhan Institute of Virology.”

“Never,” Xi refused.

“That sleeping pill you took earlier was no sleeping pill,” Renfield grinned, “Mei-ling Manchu substituted pills designed to give one a heart atack. I won’t call an ambulance to help you unless you sign a confession.”

Xi started clutching his chest as he began to feel the onset of a heart attack.

“I got the idea from watching an episode of the American soap opera The Young and The Restless,” Renfield sipped a martini with two olives and a twist of lemon, “Ashlyn Locke tried to renege on a business deal with Victor Newman in the Newman home. He suddenly started having a heart attack in the Newman living room because he had found out a couple of hours earlier that his wife Tara had had an affair with Kyle Abbott. As Locke started keeling over from the heart attack, he asked Victor Newman to call him an ambulance. Victor said he’d only call him an ambulance if he signed the contract selling Xerxes Media to him Victor Newman. Finally Locke signed just before keeling over. And then Victor called the ambulance. I suggest you might want to sign this confession before that happens to you.”

“Never,” Xi fell on his knees to the floor.

At that moment, the body of Dr. Anthony Fauci is carried out on a stretcher.

“Look and beware,” Renfield pointed at Fauci’s body, “He refused to sign a confession admitting that he had funded gain of function research at the Wuhan Institute of Virology. And now he’s no more. No doubt there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth in the newsrooms of CNN, The New York Times and The Washington Post when they hear the news.”

“I shall never sign,” Xi keeled over and died of a heart attack.

The Chinese Communist despot then dreamed he was thrown into the fires of Tartarus.

“But wait,” Xi cried as the flames of Hell began licking his body, “The Irish-Jewish American science-fiction writer George Finneganburg said that there would be a void after death not this.”

Xi’s screams echoed through eternity.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday June 4th
2021.

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The Search

May 9, 2021 at 10:49 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon had brought his parish priest Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds to brunch with him after the church service.

Renfield greeted Father Bury Saint Edmunds, “How’s it going, Father?”.

“Fine, thank you, Mr. Renfield,” Father Bury Saint Edmunds answered the British MP.

“So how’s everything on the ecclesiastical front?” Renfield inquired.

“Well, early last week Pope Francis made a peculiar statement,” the priest replied, “He said salvation and redemption aren’t granted to people individually but only collectively as members of a group.”

“Sounds like Communism to me,” Renfield remarked.

“It does to me as well,” the priest agreed.

. . .

And at their brunch the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set and the vampire Lord Tweedsmuir were likewise discussing Communism with relation to Bill Gates and the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).

“So I hear after 27 years of marriage Bill Gates is finally divorcing his wife Melinda,” Lord Tweedsmuir sipped his whiskey, “Their divorce being announced on Twitter.”

“Yes, Bill Gates must have recently got the proper optical prescription for his glasses and after putting them on, he finally noticed that Melinda looks like a man in drag,” Set added soda to his own glass of whiskey, “so the marriage is now over.”

“So the courts will now decide who gets which half of the world between them?” Tweedsmuir helped himself to a sandwich.

“Undoubtedly,” Set nodded.

“You said to me over the phone earlier that the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has uncovered information about Bill Gates, Communism and the CCP?” Lord Tweedsmuir put down his glass of whiskey.

“Yes, Bill Gates has visited the People’s Republic of China more than a dozen times since his retirement from Microsoft in 2008,” Set pointed out.

“Maybe he has a Chinese mistress?” Lord Tweedsmuir suggested.

“It turns out he does,” Set answered, “a Miss Shelly Wang. Who served as his translator on his many visits to China. Interestingly Bill took Melinda along on his trips to Africa but not his trips to China. There are rumours that Shelly Wang gave birth to Bill Gates’ child. Another reason Bill and Melinda may have split up.”

“That would definitely do it all right,” Lord Tweedsmuir nodded.

“Anyways Gates has made several interesting statements during his visits to China,” Set went on, “One of them was “Only socialism can save the climate”. And by socialism, I don’t think he meant old time Scandinavian social democracy.”

“But rather Marxist-Leninist socialism of the CCP variety?” Tweedsmuir raised an eyebrow.

“Exactly,” Set nodded, “Then he added, “Capitalism cannot save the planet.” In that respect he sounds like an old time Marxist-Leninist.”

“Or Pope Francis,” Tweedsmuir commented.

“Exactly,” Set agreed, “He has also said “Paranoia about China is crazy”. Yes, no need to be paranoid about a country that spies on its own citizens. Gates is one capitalist billionaire who seems to be quite enamoured with the Chinese Communist system. In the same way that billionaire Armand Hammer the CEO of Occidental Petroleum used to be quite enamoured with the Soviet system of the old Soviet Union. Armand Hammer used to appear on American TV talk shows such as The Merv Griffin Show back in the 1970s and ’80s and tell audiences what a wonderful and kind chap Lenin was. Now Gates is doing the same thing in singing the praises of the People’s Republic of China.”

“A Communist billionaire,” Tweedsmuir shook his head, “I really didn’t think there could be such a thing.”

Set went on, “The Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit has also discovered that in China’s national textbooks studied by all Chinese students, Bill Gates is referred to as “a Western person who is a Communist driver with Communist spirit”. So you’ve got the CCP calling Bill Gates a good Communist.”

“I take it the mainstream media in North America is unaware of what’s written about Bill Gates in Chinese national textbooks,” Tweedsmuir put down his empty glass.

“The mainstream media in North America have a hard time reading and comprehending English language textbooks so one can only imagine the titanically colossal struggle they’d face in reading Chinese language textbooks,” Set noted, “For they are far far longer than a CONFUCIUS SAY message in a Chinese restaurant fortune cookie.”

. . .

The Greek goddess Athena was checking out the books in the living room of Dracul Van Helsing’s apartment.

“Is there any particular book you’re looking for?” Dracul Van Helsing asked as he brought in the home delivery order from Lydo’s Chinese Food.

“Claudius’ History of the Etruscans,” Athena answered.

“You must have heard about my visit this past Friday to an English country garden adjacent to an English country manor’s library and living room,” Van Helsing smiled.

“I did,” Athena nodded, “And those creatures Napoleon sketched whose sketches the French Emperor put in the last pages of that book.”

“What about them?” Van Helsing asked.

“Where do you think Bill Gates got his ideas on what to put in his next vaccine?” Athena asked.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday May 9th 2021.

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When Tragedy and Comedy of Errors Meet

April 24, 2021 at 10:26 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

“How can one spot Apostles of the Antichrist? By their “vaccine” advocacy, ye shall know them.”
-Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds, Vicar of Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic Parish, Collingwood Hills, West London

Amadeus Emanon sat at tea with his friend British MP Renfield R. Renfield.

Said Amadeus, “I heard your past Wednesday night podcast entitled Trouble On The Rock of Gibraltor.”

“The one for which Boris Johnson isn’t speaking to me as a result?” Renfield sipped his tea.

“That’s the one,” Amadeus nodded, “although I don’t think he was speaking to you before then either.”

“Very true,” Renfield admitted.

“Your thesis that this super deadly third wave of Covid and all the emergent new variants springing up across the globe like mushrooms after an Uncle Ernie fertilizing party may be linked to the start of mass vaccination campaigns themselves and your idea that the spiked protein used in these vaccines is itself turning out to be a deadly pathogen?” Amadeus poured himself some more tea.

“What about it?” Renfield helped himself to a slice of toast.

“I heard something that may back up your thesis,” Amadeus took a sip from his vintage Edwardian tea cup.

“Oh?” Renfield sipped from his vintage Czar Nicholas II portrait Russian tea cup.

“Yes, apparently Dr. Harvey Risch a professor of Epidemiology at Yale University is now saying that 60% of all new Covid cases emerging in the U.S. are among those who have been vaccinated,” Amadeus pointed out.

“Really?” Renfield looked at Amadeus, “Well, I don’t expect senile old fool Joe Biden or the mainstream media will be shouting that information from the rooftops.”

“You’re probably right there,” Amadeus acknowledged.

“Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping is an evil man,” Renfield was thinking out loud, “but he does happen to be an evil genius unlike leaders in the U.S. and the U.K. who are evil but stupid. He is a master strategist like Putin (who is an outstanding master chess player and his strategy reflects that). No doubt he conceived that if he were to release a virus on the world that killed multitudes of people, the West, in its total incompetence, would then come out with a “vaccine” to the virus that would kill even more people and spread more rapidly and even more deadly and dangerously than the original virus itself. It would be a comedy if it weren’t such a tragedy. Or is that vice-versa?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 24th
2021.

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Saint George’s Day and Extremely Curious George

April 23, 2021 at 10:18 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Friday night podcast.

First he was covering history:

“It was on this day April 23rd:

-in 303 AD that Saint George died
-in 1014 that Brian Boru the High King of Ireland died after having just defeated the Vikings in battle at the Battle of Clontarf (it also happened to be Good Friday that year)
-in 1616 that William Shakespeare died (he had also been born on the same date back in 1564).”

. . .

Renfield then examined current news stories:

“Yesterday April 22nd was Earth Day and thus senile old fool Joe Biden held a Virtual Climate Summit via internet video conferencing to mark the occasion.
Among the many speakers at the summit were the UN’s Communist Secretary-General Antonio Guterres, billionaire and failed 2020 U.S. Democratic Presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg, famed eugenicist and population control advocate Bill Gates, Communist China’s paramount leader and Wuhan Institute of Virology CCP Virus super super super superspreader Xi Jinping, and of course the most boring, most heretical and most apostate pontiff in recent memory Pope Francis.
The Pope concluded his message “in commemoration of Earth Day when this destruction of nature will hopefully end.”
The Pope (nor did any other speaker at the summit) did not mention the fact that the co-founder of Earth Day in 1970 Mr. Ira Samuel Einhorn later murdered and attempted to compost his girlfriend.”

. . .

Meanwhile Set Enterprises’ genetically created stegosaurus named Extremely Curious George managed to use this evening of Saint George’s Day to escape from Set Enterprises’ Laboratories.

Extremely Curious George had been cloned by Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher using stegosaurus blood that was found in a perfectly preserved prehistoric mosquito found in amber.

Henry to Heloise: “All this talk of extinction of species and here’s a stegosaurus raiding our refrigerator.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 23rd
2021

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Mei-ling Manchu and A Clockwork Orange

April 13, 2021 at 10:41 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had met vampiress Mei-ling Manchu yesterday at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. And B. (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing, China.

There Renfield had given Mei-ling Manchu the bomb that Set Enterprises’ chief acientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had invented and designed to kill Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.

The bomb was called A Clockwork Orange and it was a cuckoo clock made out of mandarin oranges.

When the orange clock timed and chimed the hour, a cuckoo bird bearing the head of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau emerged from the top part of the clock and said “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!”.

The bottom sides of the cuckoo clock would open immediately afterwards and a medieval knight who looked like a young Malcolm McDowell (as the British actor would have looked in about 1971) would then chase a figure of the despotic Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II around until he finally beheaded him.

When this happened, the cuckoo bird with Justin Trudeau’s head would emerge from the top part of the clock for one final “Cuckoo!” before Justin’s head would fall on to the track below where a train blowing “Choo! Choo!” would run over his head.

The whole complex scenario with cast of characters would be played all over again an hour later when the orange clock timed and chimed the next hour.

The idea and inspiration for the clock had come from the dazzling imagination of Renfield R. Renfield himself although the mechanisms for the clock (made out of a particularly hard variety of Dr. Cadbury Rocher developed mandarin oranges) were made by Dr. Rocher.

The Clockwork Orange device itself had been fitted with an unusual tracking mechanism designed to detect the particular individual DNA of Xi Jinping himself within a distance of one foot.

The device would then go off as a bomb killing Xi instantly.

In the meantime, other people could enjoy the splendid mechanisms and unique mechanical performances hour upon the hour of the Clockwork Orange contraption until such time as it wound up in the presence of Xi.

Then it would be like that old 1960s TV commercial for a now defunct brand of toilet paper called Zee in which children’s voices at the end of the commercial said, “Mommy, there’s no more Zee.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 13th
2021.

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Mei-ling Manchu At The Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B In Beijing

April 12, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B in Beijing

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu was waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing.

Mei-ling Manchu had once been a loyal follower of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).

But during the last decade she had come to realize that the CCP had only increasd misery not alleviated it.

For the real purpose of the CCP had been, like that of Communist parties everywhere, to crush the human soul.

Having once been a dialectical materialist, she had not believed in the existence of the human soul.

But in the dissidents she had occasionally met over the years, those dissidents who had stood up against the CCP regime in Beijing, she had come to realize that the human soul and the human spirit did exist in those dissidents.

Those who continued to follow the regime, followed its despotic decrees day by day and meekly accepted the CCP’s diabolic Social Credit score were allowing their souls day by day to die little by little.

Until one day their souls were no more.

And they were just human fleshed cogs in a CCP machine who’d one day be replaced by robot cogs in the machine as the Transhumanism of the new Xi Jinping inspired CCP Transhumanism and the Transhumanism of the western globalist technocratic Fascism of the capitalist West merged into one.

What was killing the souls of the once great Chinese people was now killing the souls of people across the globe.

For lockdowns and isolation and the creation of a two-tiered system of people via vaccine passports was spreading throughout the world.

And most did not resist.

For their souls had been killed by the diabolical dialectic materialism of monopolistic capitalism with its greed and avarice (what Saint Paul had dubbed “the love of money” which the Apostle had further noted was “the root of all evil”).

Like Esau in the Bible who had sold his inheritance for a bowl of pottage, so the peoples of the West had sold their inheritance (their souls) for a bowl of pottage (whatever little bits of slop their globalist technocratic masters threw at them as long as they kept on their masks, practiced their social distancing and continued their OCD continuous handwashing).

The Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. in Beijing was owned by Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

He had been granted permission to open this B. and B. by Chinese Premier Chou En-lai back in the early 1970s.

As David Cheung the owner of Edmonton’s Pearl River Restaurant had once told a young University student (today a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield) that when Chou died “the people of China wept both in public and in private but when Mao died they wept in public but not in private”).

The inference being that Chou did have the interests of the Chinese people at heart even though he had mistakenly chosen the philosophy of Marxism-Leninism to bring about a better society.

While Mao did not have the interests of the Chinese people at heart.

He was a megalomaniac who craved power for power’s sake.

Just like today Xi Jinping was a 2nd Mao Tse-tung.

Chou and Yaldabaoth had once made their own recipe a Peking Duck Irish Stew together and Chou had let Yaldabaoth have this property as his reward.

And today Mei-ling Manchu was meeting British MP Renfield R. Renfield at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. to put the final touches on their plan to kill Xi Jinping.

Renfield, who had disappeared from public sight in Britain last week, had in fact been flying the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s invisible dirigible airship The Claude Rains and Lamont Cranston Project One over to China.

Renfield and Mei-ling greeted one another with a hug and a kiss and then went into the B. and B.

“Mei-ling,” Renfield inquired, “Sherrielock Holmes was telling me about anassignment she had once done for Britain’s MI-6. The matter apparently involved then California U.S. Republican Senatorial candidate Richard M. Nixon and yourself. She had hired a Los Angeles private eye Carson Cody Albion to see what was going on. Apparently Albion discovered that you had failed in your attempt to seduce Nixon.”

“I did not fail,” Mei-ling said, “It turns out that Nixon, despite his many faults, was at least loyal and faithful to his wife which is not true of most male politicians of whatever political stripe in the U.S.A.”.

“So you got nothing out of your encounter?” Renfield sipped his cup of green tea.

“I did hypnotize him with a Ming dynasty pocket watch- the first pocket watch ever invented,” Mei-ling noted, “I said whenever he heard a German wearing glasses singing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories, then he was to open up diplomatic relations with the government of the People’s Republic of China. One of our operatives Ho Babylon Minh hypnotized Dr. Henry Kissinger via use of a blow job to sing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories at a White House gala in early 1971. That set everything in motion. Nixon in a live TV address on July 15th 1971 announced that he would be visiting the People’s Republic of China.”

As Mei-ling Manchu tossed a 1000-Year-Old egg into a nearby garbage can, Renfield wondered to himself, “I wonder who got the best end of the stick? Nixon or Kissinger?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 12th
2021.

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Extremely Curious George

March 15, 2021 at 10:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“Well, I’m sure Renfield will be happy to see you back in London, Amadeus,” Set Enterprises’ secret agent Miranda Singh remarked to Amadeus Emanon who was the best friend of British MP Renfield R. Renfield and had been living for over a year in Australia, “but I thought the Australian government wasn’t allowing you to leave Australia because they found something strange with your DNA and were wanting Australia’s intelligence agencies to investigate further.”

“That’s true but the Boss,” Amadeus was referring to his official employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “sent one of his eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis-powered dirigible airships The Peregrine Falcon to rescue me after my Australian host Uncle Ernie had his backyard unauthorized and illegal pharmaceutical manufacturing facility raided and poor Uncle Ernie once again finds himself in jail.”

“Why was Uncle Ernie raided?” Miranda inquired.

“Xi Jinping discovered that Uncle Ernie was the major competitor and rival to the CCP illegal drug monopoly in Australia and Xi couldn’t stand having any major competitors in the Australian market,” Amadeus explained, “Many Austalian politicians depend on CCP illegal drug money to help finance their political campaigns and so when the word got out that Xi’s axe was about to fall on Uncle Ernie’s head, many Australian politicos put on their executioners’ masks.”

“Like Victoria State Dictator Daniel Andrews whose nickname is Chairman Dan?” Miranda asked.

“Yes, Andrews recently slipped on some wet stairs at his holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula a week ago,” Amadeus nodded, “surprisingly the day after Uncle Ernie gave a surprise evening performance of his drag queen show Cumelita to kangaroos and koala bears who were watching the performance through the Andrews holiday home window. It was strange the Australian police said they found traces of Uncle Ernie’s DNA on those wet stairs which leads one to speculate on what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing.”

“I’m sure a YouTube video will appear eventually showing what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing,” Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague remarked as he entered the room.

“Unless of course Uncle Ernie sang a song whose lyrics dispute the official Covid-19 narrative currently being espoused by the World Health Organization,” Miranda quipped, “in which case that video will be immediately banned by YouTube, Twitter and Facebook.”

“Was that a stegosaurus I just saw walking by?” Amadeus gasped as he pointed out the office window.

“Yes, Dr. Cadbury Rocher successfully cloned a stegosaurus using stegosaurus DNA found on the blood sucked by the perfectly preserved remains of a 155 million year old mosquito,” Montague smiled.

“What’s its name?” Amadeus asked.

“Extremely Curious George,” Montague answered.

“Extremely Curious George?” Amadeus repeated the name in the form of a question.

“Yes, like Curious George the monkey in the famous children’s stories and later film,” Montague nodded, “only a lot more curious.”

A strange cry is heard.

“Um,” Montague turned pale, “I think Extremely Curious George may have just examined the mouse trap I set to catch the mouse who’s been stealing my grilled cheese sandwiches.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 15th
2021.

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Orson Welles Tells A Story About An Ox On Chinese New Year’s Eve

February 11, 2021 at 10:41 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Orson Welles were celebrating Chinese New Year’s Eve via Skype with Mei-ling Manchu (who was Renfield’s ally in seeking to topple the Communist despot Xi Jinping from power in China).

Mei-ling Manchu was sampling a most delectable variety of rice wine.

Renfield was sipping from a rather large glass of sherry.

Orson Welles’ ghost was sipping from a rather large spectral glass of spectral sherry.

“Well, Happy Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass in a toast.

“Happy Year of the Ox,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in.

They drank to the New Year.

Hoping it would be better than the Year of the Rat which saw various plagues descend upon the world.

“Do you know there’s a little known Arthurian tale about Merlin being turned into an ox by the enchantress Morgan le Fay?” Welles’ ghost asked.

“It must be little known,” Renfield admitted, “because I don’t know it.”

Mei-ling laughed.

“Yes,” Welles’ ghostly cheeks were turning from ghostly white to cherry red after imbibing much sherry, “I’ll tell it to you now.”

And this is the story Welles’ ghost told:

It had come to the attention of Morgan le Fay that Merlin was urging Arthur to exile her from Camelot for making illegal moonshine.

The moon was apparently shining on nights when there wasn’t a full moon.

Angry, Morgan took a walk into the woods.

There she stumbled upon an inn The Wild Boar Inn.

Morgan entered the inn, ordered a glass of mead and sat down by the fireplace.

While there she noticed the rather corpulent Baron Grimwald of Grease sitting at a table demanding a large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.

“But there’s no ox in the vicinity,” the innkeeper protested.

“Bullocks,” Baron Grimwald cursed.

Morgan left a coin on the table after finishing her glass of mead and left the inn.

While traversing a path through the woods, she stumbled upon Merlin.

Morgan recalled a spell for turning a person into an ox and so she did that to Merlin.

She hastened back to the inn.

“Oh, innkeeper,” she laughed, “There’s an ox walking along that path through the woods. You can now give Baron Grimwald his large pot sized bowl of boiled ox soup.”

“Great,” the innkeeper grabbed all his butcher knives and headed out with his servants to slay and cut up the ox.

Merlin’s owl realized his master was in trouble so headed back to Camelot Castle for help.

Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table were at the time at a jousting tournament in another part of the realm.

Queen Guenevere was there however and she could even speak owl even though no one else in King Arthur’s court gave a hoot.

So Queen Guenevere got on her grayish white horse and rode to the rescue.

She arrived at the Wild Boar Inn just as the innkeeper and his servants were about to butcher the poor ox.

“Wait,” Guenevere got off her high horse.

“Your Majesty,” the innkeeper and his servants bowed to her.

Guenevere happened to know the spell for turning an ox back into a man and therefore used it.

The ox turned back into Merlin.

“Bullocks,” said Morgan when she saw what happened.

“”Bullocks,” said Baron Grimwald when he saw that his dinner was no more.

“And so that’s how Guenevere rescued Merlin from becoming a broiled ox soup,” Welles’ ghost smiled.

“No, I’ve definitely never heard that story before,” Renfield admitted.

“Nor I,” said Mei-ling.

“Here’s to the Year of the Ox,” Welles raised his glass again.

“Happy New Year,” Renfield and Mei-ling joined in the toast.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 11th
2021.

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Christoph Cardinal Schonborn of Vienna Publicly Outs Himself As An Apostle of The Antichrist

January 15, 2021 at 11:19 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, Spy Tales, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon was reading the Facebook status comment of a geopolitical analyst friend of British MP Renfield R. Renfield:

“The pro-sodomite, pro-gay sexy orgy, pro-allowing filthy drag queen shows to be performed at the High Altar of Saint Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna Cardinal Archbishop of Vienna Christoph Schonborn is an Apostle of the Antichrist.
And judging from remarks he made today on the U.S. election and the Capitol Hill siege in Washington DC (which the satanic Neo-Bolshevik Left in America is going to use to abolish civil liberties in America (when Biden is sworn in) in the same way the Nazis used the German Reichstag fire of February 27th 1933 to abolish civil liberties in Germany) Schonborn is also a Marxist-Leninist Neo-Bolshevik Neo-Communist as well.
Christoph Schonborn is of his father, the Father of Lies, the Devil.
Unless he repents and turns to Christ and His Holy Mother, he shall burn forever in the outer darkness of the flames of the Lake of Fire where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

“I wonder why I was never invited to perform Cumelita at the High Altar of Saint Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna,” Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie wondered aloud as he scratched his chin and scratched other parts of his anatomy after Amadeus had finished reading aloud the Facebook status.

“Perhaps Cardinal Schonborn didn’t want to get a head start on being plunged head first into the Lake of Fire,” Amadeus suggested.

“What did you mean by that?” A perplexed Uncle Ernie asked Amadeus.

The aging and well past his prime drag queen then turned his attention to the kitchen and screamed, “Where the Hell did all those flames come from?”.

“Uncle Ernie!” His adopted niece by marriage exclaimed, “You should never have left your Driver’s License lying around in front of those koala bears you taught how to read. They made you a birthday cake and lit all the candles of your exact age on it.”

“Help!” Help! Fire! Fire!” Uncle Ernie’s adopted nephew by merciful adoption rather than biology opened the front door and went running into the street.

The local fire department soon beat a red path to the kitchen door.

. . .

Xi Jinping’s supernatural spirit entity advisor the Black Dragon was having a meeting with the fallen angel Mephistopheles and his incredibly dim witted protege Joe Biden.

“Comrade Mephisto,” the Black Dragon read aloud from a list of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) demands, “The Party would like to know if you would allow the Red State to be able to harvest the organs of Donald Trump supporters since you’ll have no use for them in the New Soviet state.”

“Joe, what do you think?” Mephistopheles turned to the President-elect who was busy sniffing the hair of the young woman sitting next to him.

“Hell, why not?” Joe grinned, “I can sign an Executive Order to that effect”

. . .

Meanwhile a beautiful young woman suddenly woke up in a small town in Kansas:


“I have seen the Future. And it doesn’t work.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 15th
2020.

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Xi Jinping Plans To Bang Italian Harlot In Shanghai While Continuing With His World Domination Plans

December 19, 2020 at 11:57 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Communist China’s paramount leader the evil megalomaniac Xi Jinping was talking to his Supernaturnal entity advisor the Black Dragon who had emerged from a black hole in the Andromeda Galaxy eons ago.

“Heilong,” Xi asked the Black Dragon, “What’s the name of that airheaded Italian harlot I always bang whenever I visit Shanghai?”.

“That would be Ambra Schilliro the Italian Commie journalist and Babylonianish harlot social butterfly who flutters around on her Social Cloud spreading Chinese Communist Party Public Relations (what British MP Renfield R. Renfield refers to as Neo-Maoist propaganda and bullshit) in the countries of China, Italy, the U.S. and Korea.”

Xi putting on a fertilizer cologne, “Yes, that’s the one. Book me an appointment with her for tonight.”

“But I understand 666 members of the Shanghai branch of the CCP had booked to bang her in one massive gang bang tonight,” Heilong pointed out.

“Well, put them on hold,” Xi foamed, “As always happens to me when I use my Huawei phone these days. I had to break down and start using Samsung.”

A PLA soldier approaches Xi, “Your Almightiness, we regret to report that our People’s Red Army just got our asses kicked by India’s Army on the India-China border again.”

“Well cover it up like we did before,” Xi barked.

Later in Shanghai, Xi paid a visit to the Italian harlot Ambra Schilliro.

He inserted his organ into Ambra’s mouth.

“Think of it as sucking on an egg roll,” Xi said neglecting to mention that egg rolls were a lot larger.

He then inserted it into the orifice between her front legs.

And then inserted it into the orifice between her back legs.

And then inserted it into her left nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 test,” Xi had said.

He then inserted it into her right nostril.

“Think of it as a Covid-19 re-test,” Xi pontificated.

He then inserted it into her right ear.

“Think of it as a wax cleaning,” Xi smiled.

He then inserted it into her left ear as he remarked, “More wax cleaning.”

Heilong had put on dark sunglasses as he watched the spectacle.

“That Italian harlot,” Heilong noted, “seems to be getting as many orifices penetrated as Procopius the Byzantine historian (and secretary to the Byzantine general Belisarius) noted happened to Justinian’s wife the Empress Theodora in Procopius’ Secret History.”

The Byzantine vampiress Theodora (who had dropped into Shanghai to pick up an order of Shanghai Fried Rice) overheard Heilong’s remarks and said, “Everything Procopius wrote about me is a lie.”


Theodora: Everything Procopius wrote about her is a lie

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday December 19th
2020.

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