Extremely Curious George

March 15, 2021 at 10:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“Well, I’m sure Renfield will be happy to see you back in London, Amadeus,” Set Enterprises’ secret agent Miranda Singh remarked to Amadeus Emanon who was the best friend of British MP Renfield R. Renfield and had been living for over a year in Australia, “but I thought the Australian government wasn’t allowing you to leave Australia because they found something strange with your DNA and were wanting Australia’s intelligence agencies to investigate further.”

“That’s true but the Boss,” Amadeus was referring to his official employer the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set, “sent one of his eco-friendly environmentally friendly cannabis-powered dirigible airships The Peregrine Falcon to rescue me after my Australian host Uncle Ernie had his backyard unauthorized and illegal pharmaceutical manufacturing facility raided and poor Uncle Ernie once again finds himself in jail.”

“Why was Uncle Ernie raided?” Miranda inquired.

“Xi Jinping discovered that Uncle Ernie was the major competitor and rival to the CCP illegal drug monopoly in Australia and Xi couldn’t stand having any major competitors in the Australian market,” Amadeus explained, “Many Austalian politicians depend on CCP illegal drug money to help finance their political campaigns and so when the word got out that Xi’s axe was about to fall on Uncle Ernie’s head, many Australian politicos put on their executioners’ masks.”

“Like Victoria State Dictator Daniel Andrews whose nickname is Chairman Dan?” Miranda asked.

“Yes, Andrews recently slipped on some wet stairs at his holiday home on the Mornington Peninsula a week ago,” Amadeus nodded, “surprisingly the day after Uncle Ernie gave a surprise evening performance of his drag queen show Cumelita to kangaroos and koala bears who were watching the performance through the Andrews holiday home window. It was strange the Australian police said they found traces of Uncle Ernie’s DNA on those wet stairs which leads one to speculate on what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing.”

“I’m sure a YouTube video will appear eventually showing what it was that Uncle Ernie was doing,” Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague remarked as he entered the room.

“Unless of course Uncle Ernie sang a song whose lyrics dispute the official Covid-19 narrative currently being espoused by the World Health Organization,” Miranda quipped, “in which case that video will be immediately banned by YouTube, Twitter and Facebook.”

“Was that a stegosaurus I just saw walking by?” Amadeus gasped as he pointed out the office window.

“Yes, Dr. Cadbury Rocher successfully cloned a stegosaurus using stegosaurus DNA found on the blood sucked by the perfectly preserved remains of a 155 million year old mosquito,” Montague smiled.

“What’s its name?” Amadeus asked.

“Extremely Curious George,” Montague answered.

“Extremely Curious George?” Amadeus repeated the name in the form of a question.

“Yes, like Curious George the monkey in the famous children’s stories and later film,” Montague nodded, “only a lot more curious.”

A strange cry is heard.

“Um,” Montague turned pale, “I think Extremely Curious George may have just examined the mouse trap I set to catch the mouse who’s been stealing my grilled cheese sandwiches.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 15th
2021.

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Renfield R. Renfield vs. Australia’s Victoria State Dictator Daniel Andrews

September 23, 2020 at 9:52 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Australia’s Victoria state had just granted the police in that state the power to arrest people who write and also post “conspiracy theories on social media”.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield had recently described Daniels as “a jackass who has really let power get to his braying head”.

Andrews was getting sick of Renfield making fun of him (just like Hitler got sick of Churchill making fun of him).

He was also angry at Renfield for getting an invisible 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit to inject a serum in his buttocks which gave him an excruciatingly painful case of hemorrhoids.

So under this new law, Andrews thought this entitled him to arrest people beyond the borders of Victoria state.

Even beyond the borders of Australia itself.

As such, he sent a bunch of Melbourne police commandos to Britain to arrest Renfield.

The Melbourne police commandos made a colossal blundering error when they tried to arrest Renfield at the estate mansion of the London-based billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

Set’s estate guard cat Nefertiti Galore set upon the Melbourne police commandos and ripped them to shreds with her claws.

The pieces of the commandos were gathered up by the Set Estate’s live action garden gnomes and placed in a wastepaper basket.

Renfield had the wastepaper basket with the pieces of the commandos inside couriered back to Melbourne, Australia addressed to:
Victoria’s State Dictator Daniel Andrews, Melbourne, Australia.

Inside Renfield had left a personal note for Andrews,

“Your Melbourne police commandos aren’t so tough as they were done in by a London pussy. This really doesn’t say much for them or for you.”

He signed it,

“Yours respectfuly,
Renfield R. Renfield.”

. . .

Meanwhile at Melbourne Police Headquarters in the Australian Victoria state capital, the ghosts of the Nazi SS’s Heinrich Himmler and the Soviet NKVD’s Laventriy Beria had been granted a temporary dispensational release from their rotating barbeque spits down in Tartarus at Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews’ request (he had to bribe Hades with a koala bear fur skin rug as the chthonic deity did not have one of those fur skin rugs in his collection) in order to give Melbourne police some great tips on how to violate civil rights and human rights and how to impose a martial law lockdown in the state in the most brutal manner possible.

Himmler’s ghost and Beria’s ghost had been giving these seminars to the Melbourne Police Department ever since Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews announced the martial law style lockdown in early August.

. . .

Meanwhile in the U.S., the mainstream Marxist CNN was heaping lavish praise on Victoria state dictator Daniel Andrews and his martial law style lockdown calling it a “model for the U.S.”.

It will certainly become the model for the U.S. if the Biden-Harris ticket wins in November.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 23rd
2020.

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