Dr. Marmalade Montague Investigates Causes of Sulphuric Explosions

September 28, 2022 at 11:50 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Dr. Marmalade Montague was a scientist who worked at Set Enterprises in London.

Even though he had no official background in science.

He had owned a bakery in Paris that went out of business during the 2020 plandemic lockdown under the orders of France’s Neo-Vichy tyrant Emmanuel Macron.

Still Marmalade Montague knew more about science than most of the so-called health “experts” who dispensed bad advice by the manure filled truckload during the plandemic of 2020-2021.

Dr. Marmalade Montague’s current project was investigating the causes of sulphurous explosions.

For this purpose he had sent Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun (who was the son of Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom) to the Yellowstone Caldera Supervolcano in Yellowstone National Park to pick up a sample of sulphurous contents bubbling up from the ground.

While Yaldabaoth was there using a baby bottle to pick up a sample from one of the bubbling craters, the crater had a major explosion.

Luckily for Yaldabaoth, being a leprechaun, he was immortal so the explosion didn’t kill him.

However it did put a dent into his plans to spend a night at the Moonlite BunnyRanch in Nevada as he could hardly go into the place smelling like rotten eggs.

The explosion did however kill a sasquatch who was walking by.

The sasquatch was currently in the process of litigation (a major lawsuit) against the man codenamed PH Unbalanced by Britain’s MI-6 Agency and the man considered the world’s most boring author.

The world’s most boring author had written a novel claiming that this sasquatch had murdered the world’s most boring sheriff’s deputy.

The claim was in fact true but what the sasquatch objected to was being written about and included as a character in a novel that was so unbelievably colossally boring.

He hadn’t been able to get a date since the novel was published as most female sasquatch and even a few gay, bisexual and transgendered sasquatch considered him too boring to date.

The sasquatch had gone to a City of Laramie Wyoming law firm to launch a lawsuit against the world’s most boring author PH Unbalanced filing the claim that “being included as a character in the world’s most boring novel written by the world’s most boring author had totally ruined his sex life”.

Now as a result of the sulphurous explosion, the sasquatch was dead.

Yaldabaoth after several months of showering would be able to have a sex life again.

The poor sasquatch being dead could not.

Dr. Marmalade Montague was also investigating the cause of Joe Biden’s sulphurous bowel movements alluded to into final (and end of life) reports written by some of the world’s late top secret agents in spy agencies.

For that, Dr. Marmalade Montague was using the visions of Michelangelo the psychic lobster.

Apparently back on January 28th 2021 (7 days after Biden was inaugurated having successfully stolen the 2020 U.S. Presidential election), senile old Joe had been invited to speak at a United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City in March of that year.

He was not to be the number one speaker however.

He was to be the number two speaker (which was appropriate for Joe).

The number one speaker was to be the well known Jewish Rastafarian and self described “independent pharmaceutical manufacturer” from Australia known by the popular moniker of Uncle Ernie (assuming of course that Uncle Ernie wouldn’t be in jail in Australia “drummed up on some nefarious charges brought against him by the government” as Uncle Ernie would put it).

The fallen archangel Mephistopheles (who was one of Joe Biden’s 3 supernatural advisors along with Baal and Baphomet) had recommended to Joe that he send someone to try to find the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and bring them to the U.S. for Joe Biden to eat the remains prior to giving his number two speech to the United Jewish Appeal dinner in New York City.

The Gadarene swine of course had been possessed by the demons known as Legion and had been sent by Jesus Christ into the swine after Jesus had successfully exorcised a man known as the Gadarene demoniac.

The swine then charged into the Sea of Galilee.

Thus acting on orders from Joe Biden, the American Deep State set about to recover the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

Israeli Mossad agent Anna Chador to a Tel Aviv based scuba diver: “Would you be able to dive to the bottom of the Sea of Galilee and see if the remains of the Gadarene swine are still down there and if they are to bring them up to the surface?”.

He: Yes.

Unfortunately for Biden and Mephistopheles, those agencies associated with the American Deep State such as the CIA were having a top secret convention at Area 51 (remember this was the time of the plandemic and everything and everyone was supposed to be in lockdown) and the treats at this top secret convention were Australian Uncle Ernie’s independently made pharmaceuticals.

Thus after the convention, the CIA were in no shape whatsoever to go looking for the remains of the Gadarene swine at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

However there were plenty of reports of sightings of UFOs and ETs at Area 51 after this convention.

Thus the spaced-out CIA outsourced the mission to the Israeli Mossad.

The task was assigned to one of Israel’s top female agents Anna Chador and after consulting with a Tel Aviv based scuba diver, a deep sea mission was undertaken and the Gadarene Swine were found perfectly preserved at the bottom of the Sea of Galilee.

The bodies were raised from the depths and then flown to Washington DC.

Hell’s Kitchen chef Gordon Ramsay was brought in to cook the remains at the White House.

He made pork chops out of them which he topped with his famous homemade Sriracha laced apple sauce.

Joe Biden ate all of the Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce leaving the other guests at dinner hungry and awestruck at the senile old fool’s ravenous appetite.

The Gadarene swine pork chops and apple sauce remained fully stuck in Joe Biden’s intestines and could never be removed (something the fallen Archangel Mephistopheles knew would happen).

The direct result of the Gadarene swine pork chops and Sriracha laced homemade apple sauce being forever stuck in Biden’s intestines would be that he would always have sulphurous explosive bowel movements.

It was fortunate that the New York Chapter of the United Jewish Appeal decided to have their dinner and speeches via Zoom due to the plandemic.

The secret service agents guarding Biden on the night of his United Jewish Appeal Zoom dinner speech were not so lucky.

In an effort to boost the profits of the pharmaceutical manufacturing investments of one Dr. Anthony Fauci, the cause of the secret service agents’ deaths was listed as Covid rather than sulphurous fumes.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday September 28th
2022.

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Joe Biden Speaks In Philadelphia: “This Is My Struggle…”

September 2, 2022 at 10:41 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was visiting the Killarney lakes to see his friend Dr. Donegal Dundee the famous leprechaun scientist.

“So what are you up to these days, Don-Dun?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Well I’ve recently been hired by Vladimir Putin to work in collaboration with South African witch doctor Dr. Sterling Makabo to raise the mad monk Rasputin from the dead at his grave in Tsarskoye Selo,” Dr. Donegal Dundee explained while drinking a glass of fine Jameson Irish Whiskey, “Dr. Makabo is going to raise Rasputin from the dead. The only trouble is people that Dr. Makabo raise from the dead look like zombies. And Vladimir Putin can’t stand looking at zombies (he has an antipathy to “woke” U.S. Democratic Party voters). So Makabo is going to raise Rasputin from the dead and I’m going to use my unique blend of Guinness, Murphy’s and O’hara’s Irish Red specially crafted embalming fluid (the one most recommended at funeral parlours in Ireland which is why Irish crematoriums were condemned at last year’s Glasgow Climate Change Summit as a major cause of global warming and a dire threat to the planet although the earth mother goddess Gaia would probably die happy) to make Rasputin look human again when he comes back from the dead.”

“You do know that Vladimir Putin is a Neo-Czarist and a Neo-Russian Imperialist who fancies himself a reincarnation of Czar Peter the Great?” Yaldabaoth raised an eyebow.

“I do know that,” Dr. Donegal Dundee painted Yaldabaoth’s raised eyebrow green.

. . .

“That was quite the speech Joe Biden gave in Philadelphia last night,” Dr. Nachash Naga mentioned to another NASA official, “It was a good and fortunate thing that it turned out that one of his daughters lived in Philadelphia so it appears that the Artemis 1 moon rocket launch is a go tomorrow.”

Dr. Nachash Naga’s secretary Deborah frowned as she listened to the conversation.

What the Hell did Dr. Nachash Naga mean by that?

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a Friday night podcast.

He did the podcast wearing a t-shirt that said DEFUND THE FBI.

“This is what Joe Biden looked like delivering his speech in Philadelphia last night when he said that Donald Trump and MAGA Republicans are a threat to democracy.” :

Said Renfield, “Any photographic resemblance between Joe Biden’s arm gestures and facial expressions and the arm gestures and facial expressions of a certain late Fuhrer of 1930s and early 1940s Germany is no doubt purely coincidental.
As is no doubt any resemblance used between the silhouette background colours used by both speakers at their selected rallies.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday September 2nd
2022.

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Sophia Catches Her Son At Perverted Party In Kiev

March 21, 2022 at 10:17 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , )

Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic Goddess of Wisdom catches her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun at a perverted party in Kiev rather than fighting in the Greek centaur Chiron’s army of leprechauns and gnomes

Sophia had heard the rumours.

Rather than fighting against invading Russian troops her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was supposedly attending a coming out party of the LGBTQ2s+ community in the City of Kiev hosted by Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelenskiy in celebration of the New World Order that an airheaded Ukrainian woman MP Kira Rudyk said that Ukraine was fighting for.

The demons Baal and Baphomet were present at the LGBTQ2s+ coming out party as freaks, fruits and nuts whose hair was all the colours of the rainbow (plus colours not in the rainbow) gave the appearance of a Liberace and Elton John directed version of the 1968 zombie film Night of The Living Dead.

Ukrainan President Volodymyr Zelenskiy, who had just got into some trouble for releasing a fake news video of the Eiffel Tower in Paris France being attacked by Russian missiles, addressed the crowd, “I understand we’ve got some foreign guests who are here with us virtually on Zoom.”

The crowd cheered.

“How many women from America are here with us today?” Zelenskiy asked.

2/3 of Joe Biden’s deputy cabinet appointees put up their hands as well as some muscle bound ogre who just won the first place gold medal in an NCAA Women’s Swimming Competition in the U.S.

Yaldabaoth, who was busy drinking green beer while Zelenskiy grandstanded in black leather pants and spiked high heeled shoes as holographic images of George Soros, Bill Gates and Klaus Schwab applauded in the background, was immediately spotted by Sophia.

“I thought you were supposed to be fighting invaders,” Sophia approached him.

“Well…” Yaldabaoth was at a loss for words.

Sophia took Yaldabaoth over her knee and spanked him.

. . .

Meanwhile diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Russia were on the verge of collapse after senile old fool Joe Biden called Russian President Vladimir Putin “a war criminal”.

The ghostly voice of Mortimer Snerd (who was the secondary ventriloquist dummy- after Charlie McCarthy- of American ventriloquist Edgar Bergen) called Biden from Hell (where he was doing a stand-up comedy routine with Cerberus) and told him that it wasn’t smart to call the leader of a nuclear power “a war criminal”.

Russia’s Foreign Ministry had summoned U.S. Ambassador to Moscow John Sullivan to give him a dressing down.

Actor John Cleese (who played Basil Fawlty on the 1970s British sitcom Fawlty Towers) told a member of the British press, “I called Vladimir Putin a war criminal once but I think I got away with it…”

. . .

Meanwhile the demons Baal and Baphomet had left Kiev and had gone to French President Emmanuel Macron’s bedroom to enjoy some champagne cocktails with the Klaus Schwab approved former Global Youth leader.

“We’re looking forward to this Friday,” the half-male, half-female half-human half-goat demon Baphomet told Macron.

“What happens Friday?” Macron asked as he chased an elderly cougar around the bedroom.

“Haven’t you heard?” Baal said as he sampled a Planned Parenthood appetizer from a Paris clinic, “That’s when the demon Pachamama worshipping AntiPope Francis supposedly consecrates Russia and Ukraine to the Immaculate Heart of Mary.”

Baal and Baphomet both roared with laughter as Macron adjusted his toupee.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 21st
2022.

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Merlin In Ukraine

March 15, 2022 at 9:19 pm (Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

The Celtic wizard Merlin appeared in Ukraine tonight along with a few animal acquaintances

“Isn’t that Merlin the magician?” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun asked his fighting companion Leonard Constantinople the fighting rabbit.

Constantinople had been brought in to fight the 450 al-Qaeda fighters who had been allowed to cross Recep Tayyip Edrogan’s Turkey (at the request of the insane Biden Administration) to come to Ukraine to fight on behalf of Ukraine.

And as further proof of the Biden Administration’s insanity, Biden was allowing Vladimir Putin’s Russia to act as chief negotiator in its proposed nuclear deal with Iran.

The cherry on the cake as far as the Biden Administration’s insanity went was Biden’s Climate Change envoy John Kerry was now asking a private think tank to examine the question of how much, if any, effect a “limited” nuclear war with Russia would have on the environment and climate change.

The world was about to end not with a bang but with a badly written screenplay.

“It is,” Constantinople answered in regard to Yaldabaoth’s question.

Yaldabaoth then received a text message that children in China who had received the Xi Jinping approved China made Covid “vaccine” (really a genetic serum) were now being diagnosed with leukemia.

The Chinese Health Ministry in Beijing issued a statement that the fact Chinese children who received the “vaccine” were now being diagnosed with leukemia was just a huge coincidence and that to say otherwise would result in being sent to re-education camps “where you would be re-educated alongside Uighurs” and also “partake in making voluntary products for Wal-Mart”.

In other news Andreas Schofbek the CEO of the large German health insurance company BKK/Pro-Vita was fired last month after he released data suggesting German health authorities are significantly underreporting German vaccine related injuries.

The data was scrubbed from the Internet.

The globalist Communists in charge of the Great Reset were letting nobody stand in their way.

And that included Vladimir Putin the proposed new Czar of a revived 19th Century Imperial Russian Empire.

“Who are those animals with Merlin?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Well the bear is possessed by Rasputin,” Constantinople answered, “the black wolf is possessed by the Holy Roman Emperor Frederick Barbarossa and the deer is Bambi.”

“Bambi?’ Yaldabaoth was incredulous.

“Yes, Bambi’s mother was shot by Vladimir Putin when he was out deer hunting,” Constantinople explained, “80 years ago, 32nd degree Freemason and practicing sorcerer Walt Disney was caught in a time warp brought about by a CERN Large Hadron Collidor experiment. He wound up in Russia last month where he saw Bambi’s mother shot by Vladimir Putin. He incorporated the scene in his film to serve as further western world anti-Putin propaganda when the time was right.”

“Bambi’s mother was shot,” Yaldabaoth broke into tears when he recalled the scene.

-A vampire novel chapter
written Tuesday March 15th
2022.

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The Children of Hecate

March 13, 2022 at 11:09 pm (Aesthetics, Culture, Entertainment, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee visits a local community college and its Hall of Fame

World-famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee was walking down the street when he saw a fat ugly blimp and her moronic low-IQ boyfriend rushing towards a bus stop even though there was no bus approaching.

Goatee put his astral laser machete into auto boomerang mode and threw it at the uglo-moronic duo.

The machete beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

It then beheaded her moronic low-IQ boyfriend and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces.

As Krampus arrived on the scene to pick up the remains and take them down to Tartarus, the machete then went to a nearby Chinese laundromat to get all the blood and guck washed off it before returning to Pan Goatee as a boomerang.

The initial test for this boomerang astral laser machete was originally conducted by Australia’s infamous Uncle Ernie at his Cumelita Show down in Sydney, Australia.

That test was an initial disaster resulting in the beheadings and deaths of hundreds of Uncle Ernie’s paying customers who were sitting in the audience.

The machete was wisely given to a German aeronautics firm who used their German aerodynamic skills to make the astral laser machete into the weapon that it is today.

As opposed to whatever Uncle Ernie’s bumbling Australian “what the Hell is he doing skills?” would have turned it into.

Later as Pan Goatee was enjoying a Big Mac and Diet Coke inside a McDonald’s, his enjoyment was interrupted by a thin ugly looking stoat and her two ugly looking offspring entering the restaurant section where he was sitting.

Goatee beheaded the slim ugly looking stoat uglo and her two ugly looking offspring and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces each while commenting, “To think all this pre-emptive strike action was brought about by the Austro-Hungarian Augustinian monk Gregor Johann Mendel and his ground breaking genetic research into garden peas.”

“I wonder if Mendel’s peas left such a mess behind on the floor?” A customer commented as he watched all the blood and body parts gathering on the floor prior to Krampus’ arrival.

“They would have if he was diabetic,” Jarod Jerome Le Gnome commented.

Meanwhile in Victoria, British Columbia, B.C.’s Neo-Stalinist tyrant NDP Premier John Horgan was insulting the B.C. Freedom Truckers’ Convoy who were planning to descend on the provincial capital in protest against the socialist despot’s draconian vaccine mandates and lockdowns.

Horgan was condescending towards his opponents like all pompous and arrogant champagne socialist despots are.

“Goodness me, get a hobby,” Horgan’s gums flapped like the wind at the world’s biggest pork and beans barbeque and chili cook-off.

Horgan had a B.C. Salmon and Wild Thistle Cream Pie thrown in his face by a Kootenay area sasquatch whose hobby was throwing B.C. Salmon and Wild Thistle Cream Pies into the faces of people who are total assholes.

Meanwhile at the Vatican, Samhain Cardinal Salaman was wondering why Jorge Mario Bergoglio aka Pope Francis wasn’t dead yet.

He had watched Francis drink the entire cup of Tibetan Buddhist tea with the piece of wolfsbane and the jade key to Beijing’s forbidden city in it.

He had also watched Francis eat the recipe for Uncle Ernie’s vegetarian based koala bear and kangaroo meat stew also without any noticeable side effects.

“The man must have sold his soul to the devil to withstand such poisons,” Salaman deduced.

Meanwhile Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was sitting reading a newspaper at the Yaroviv military training area in Ukraine which is about 12 miles from the Polish border and about 25 miles from the city of Lviv located in western Ukraine.

Among the headlines Yaldabaoth read was “Barack Obama Says He Tested Positive For Covid-19”.

Interesting, Yaldabaoth mused.

This was followed by another headline that read, “Justin Trudeau Says He Tested Positive For Syphilis”.

Very interesting, Yaldabaoth mused again.

Suddenly the Yaroviv military base was struck by 30 missiles fired by Russian warplanes flying over the Black and Azov Seas.

Yaldabaoth dropped a load- Joe Biden style- when the attack hit.

“Thank God you shit green and not brown,” the ghost of W.C. Fields remarked as he was playing a game of golf in the area.

The ghost of Orson Welles meanwhile sat in his arm chair in the living room of the Set Mansion in London.

He read some recent history.

“In early 2013 Jen Psaki, when she was spokesperson for the Hillary Clinton State Department, was asked about secret plans for a proposed coup d’etat against the then government of Ukraine.
A year later the Obama Administration, with the support of George Soros’ financing, helped set up the new anti-Russia government of Ukraine.”

“In 2015, it was revealed that George Soros had spent hundreds of millions of dollars in Ukraine and had planted special operatives throughout the country.
This was not done to make Ukraine an independent and sovereign nation state (since Soros hates independent and sovereign nation states) but to make Ukraine an invioable part of the New World Order proposed by Klaus Schwab’s World Economic Forum.”

“Then in 2017, Neo-Con Senators Lindsey Graham and John McCain travelled to Ukraine and promised top military leaders that “the U.S. would give them everything they need to go to war against Vladimir Putin.”

Welles’ ghost organized the scene in his mind.

3 witches (children of Hecate) on a Scottish heath are transported to Ukraine.

Jen Psaki along with Lindsey Graham and John McCain in drag are the 3 witches.

“When shall we three meet again?
In thunder, lightning or in rain?”.

“When the hurly-burly’s done,
when the battle’s lost and won.”

“That will be ere the set of sun.”

“Where the place?”.

“Upon the heath.”

“There to meet with MacPutin.”

While Welles’ ghost meditated upon and directed the scene in his mind,
British MP Renfield R. Renfield entered the room and announced, “Did you know that Renfield was from his mother’s womb untimely ripped?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written Sunday March 13th
2022.

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Sophia In The Beautiful City of Venice

February 18, 2022 at 11:51 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Sophia stood on the balcony overlooking the city of Venice and took in the spectacular view of the city’s canals.

She watched as a gondola calling itself Traditionis custodes found itself being swallowed whole by a vicious looking Leviathan who had swam into the Venetian canal from the deepest part of the Mediterranean Sea.

All aboard were lost.

Another gondola calling itself Summorum Pontificum was attacked by the very same evil Leviathan.

A swat across the Leviathan’s snout from the gondolier’s oar sent the evil sea monster (mentioned in Isaiah 27:1 and Job Chapter 41) back to the depths where it belonged.

All aboard were saved.

Apparently the sound of Latin chants prevented the Leviathan from rising from his depths in the abyss below the sea.

Meanwhile in Rome, Pope Francis was delivering yet another self-congratulatory sermon to himself all the while trying to appear modest and humble (and failing miserably!).

Sophia reflected on the current world situation.

A Calgary based geopolitical analyst with his old contacts in Edmonton’s Ukrainian community discovered today that Canada’s Whore of Babylon Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Finance Chrystia Freeland was a Communist. Her mother Halyna Freeland (of Ukrainian dissent) had also been a Communist. They were part of a group of Ukrainians who were stalwart supporters of the old 1917-1922 Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic that had merged with the Belurussian Soviet Socialist Republic, the Transcaucasian Federated Soviet Socialist Republic and the Russian Federated Soviet Socialist Republic to form the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) on December 30th 1922.

In the lying Wikipedia article on her, they claimed the Soviet KGB regarded her as a threat when she was one of the KGB’s greatest assets.

As Foreign Affairs Minister in the Justin “Pedo” Castro Trudeau government, her first act was to destabilize foreign markets for Canadian canola sales for it is a standard strategy of Communists to try to marginalize farmers.

As Minister of Finance, she has never produced a balanced budget for the Canadian federal government because Communists do not believe in being accountable.

Now as Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Finance, the Communist Whore of Babylon using the mechanism of Justin “Pedo” Castro Trudeau’s proclamation of the National Emergencies Act, she is illegally seizing the private property of the working class people of Canada in exactly the same manner Lenin did in the 1920s and Stalin did in the 1930s.

Already in London, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was calling for the overthrow of Canada’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist totalitarian government who had now come to power in a coup against the Canadian Constitution.

In Ottawa last night, Ottawa’s Neo-Fascist Police Force had used their horses to run over protestors.

A rider still on his bike was thrown against a horse by a cop high on testosterone but low on ethics and common decency.

It was the thrown bike rider and not the Fascist pig cop who was charged with injuring a police horse.

Senior citizens in walkers were also knocked to the ground by the miscreants who work for the Ottawa Police Service.

The thoughts of Sophia the Greco-Egyptian goddess of wisdom were interrupted by the appearance of her son Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun on the balcony.

“So Yaldabaoth are you going to go to Ottawa and overthrow that son of a Fidel?” Sophia inquired.

“No, I might get hurt,” Yaldabaoth answered.

“Where is your courage?” Sophia demanded to know.

Then she took Yaldabaoth over her knee and spanked him.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday February 18th
2022.

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Marilyn Recalls Conversation With Tarot Card Reader

February 17, 2022 at 11:06 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Marilyn Monroe stood on the balcony overlooking New York City and smoked a cigarette.

She recalled a conversation she had with a tarot card reader downtown.

The tarot reader had recently arrived from Havana, Cuba.

The tarot reader told Marilyn that she had done a tarot reading for Cuba’s new Revolutionary leader Fidel Castro.

“And what did you see in his future?” Marilyn had asked the tarot reader.

“I told him he’d have a son who’d become Prime Minister of Canada,” the reader replied.

Marilyn finished her cigarette and stepped back inside.

She was greeted by the sight of an Irish leprechaun who had already helped himself to the bourbon.

“I was told by the same tarot reader,” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun hiccoughed, “that someday I’d help overthrow a Canadian dictator.”

“And when would this be?” Marilyn asked.

“Not for some sixty odd years away,” Yaldabaoth answered.

“Good for you,” Marilyn bent down and kissed the wee leprechaun.

Yaldabaoth blushed but was much pleased.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday February 17th
2022.

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Hour of The Rough Beast

November 12, 2021 at 9:41 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

“And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?”.
-William Butler Yeats in his poem The Second Coming
written 1919

California Gov. Gavin Newsom in addition to showing signs of Bell’s Palsy was also showing signs of demonic possession.

A video of two traditional Dominican priests trying to exorcize Gov. Newsom was filmed by the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was watching the video.

In the drawing room behind Gov. Newsom’s bedroom could be heard sounds of Rep. Nancy Pelosi engaging in a bisexual menage a trois with Pachamama the Inca Earth Mother Goddess (a fiery red dragon from the Underworld who shapeshifted into a woman and then back again) and Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of darkness and sorcery.

In the video Gov. Newsom could be seen levitating 6 feet above his bed and vomiting out carbon emitting petrol.

Newsom swore and cursed at the two exorcists in the languages of ancient Inca, Aztec, Sumerian and Babylonian.

“It looks and sounds like Gov. Newsom is possessed by Bergoglio’s god of surprises,” Renfield remarked.

. . .

Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla was having a cocktail party with the demons Baal, Baphomet and Moloch.

“People who publish disinformation about my experimental Covid mMRNA injections are criminals,” Bourla complained as he fed a human embryo/mouse hybrid to a giant Moroccan desert sandfly who was tired of feeding on beagles’ faces.

“I agree,” Baal nodded.

“Criminals like that Nazarene whom we arranged to be crucified on Golgotha,” Moloch went on.

The door bell rang.

It was Asclepius the Greek god of medicine and the ghost of Dr. Johann Georg Faust showing up to the party.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun and his leprechaun buddy Barney From Killarney were at an archery training camp for leprechauns and gnomes in Switzerland being run by Chiron the Centaur.

The camp soon found itself under attack by a group of demonically possessed ibex-human hybrids (the alpine ibex is a species of wild goat that is found in the European alps).

The tiny but courageous band of gnomes and leprechauns fought off the demonically possessed ibex-human hybrids.

“Shit,” said World Economic Forum Chairman Klaus Schwab when he heard news of the demon ibex-humans’ retreat.

. . .

The Norse wolf Fenrir (destined to kill Odin at the Battle of Ragnarok) had found itself muzzled in the courtyard of the hotel in Switzerland.

Switzerland today was the site of protests organized by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (the son of assassinated 1968 U.S. Democratic Presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy) against Switzerland’s proposed draconian lockdown and vaccine mandate law which was copying the example of its neighbour to the south Italy which was currently being run by a clique of Fascists/Stalinists personally approved by the satanic antipope Jorge Mario Bergoglio.

The Norse goddess Freya happened to be visiting Switzerland on this day and was surprised to to see Fenrir muzzled in the courtyard.

Norse goddess Freya: Surprised to see Fenrir muzzled in the courtyard of the hotel.

Freya’s hotel room door opened and in walked vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing.

“Did you muzzle Fenrir?” Freya asked.

“Yes,” Van Helsing answered.

“How?” Freya inquired.

“I fed him some of my maternal grandmother’s recipe for Scottish haggis and he succumbed to unconsciousness,” Van Helsing replied.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 12th
2021.

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Chiron and Yaldabaoth Vs. The New World Order

November 5, 2021 at 9:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was recalling how a geopolitical analyst he knew of, had when this analyst lived in Vancouver, had been walking down a sidewalk in front of a big window cafe when he was shocked to see someone who was the spitting image of Adolf Hitler sitting there reading a book.

Suddenly the Hitler spitting image looked up from his book and looked at the geopolitical analyst with sheer absolute hatred in his eyes.

The analyst when writing about the incident wrote, “If I had to have Hitler and Hitler’s image look at me, I’m glad it was with pure absolute hatred. It makes me know that I’m doing something right.”

Tonight members of the New World Order Calgary Police Service had visited the homeless shelter where the analyst was being forced to stay (once again being down on his luck) while the geopolitcal analyst was out for a walk.

They complained to the front desk about how certain people were offended by his blog and terribly upset about what he had written in it.

The front desk worker informed the geopolitical analyst when he arrived.

As a Los Angeles blogger friend told him when the analyst wrote him about the incident, “Writing isn’t a crime.”

But of course it always is in a totalitarian state.

And ever since the George Soros-Bill Gates-Dr. Anthony Fauci plandemic had broke out in 2020-2021 most of the world was turning into a Neo-Fascist Fourth Reich Neo-Stalinist Global Neo-Soviet state.

And fascist pigs are always afraid of writing.

Particularly when one is writing the truth.

For evil and its adherents cannot abide the light of truth.

For they serve the Antichrist who is the epitome of all unrighteousness, lies and evil.

Yaldbaoth received a knock on the door of his tree home.

It was his friend and fellow leprechaun Barney From Killarney.

“Hi Yald,” Barney greeted him, “Chiron has been granted dispensational release from the Underworld by Hades.”

“Chiron the Centaur?” Yaldabaoth was astonished.

“Yes, seeing as how the Hydra is rising once again on the world stage with all sorts of mini hydras being injected into people via vaccines and Chiron was originally killed after being hit in the thigh by one of the poisoned blood arrows (laced with the Hydra’s poisonous blood) accidentally fired by Hercules, Chiron is now set to take his revenge on the satanic demonic Hydra and his evil system,” Barney explained, “He’s training leprechauns and gnomes in the art of archery so they can fight against the forces of the Antichrist Hydra.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday November 5th
2021.

A wood nymph waits in the village in Switzerland where Chiron the Centaur will train gnomes and leprechauns to fight the Antichrist army.

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Oksana Astarov and Dr. Nicht Werhoffen’s Transhuman Robot

October 31, 2021 at 11:43 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Poetry, Sorcery, Technology, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Oksana Astarov and Dr. Nicht Werhoffen’s Transhuman Robot

Yaldabaoth the Irish Leprechaun was spending Halloween Night in Buckingham Palace because he figured it was as good a place to stay as any.

He was drinking bottles of Guinness stout and reading Ireland’s national leprechaun newspaper The Leprechaun Limerick.

The first news item was on how Joe Biden literally shit his pants upon meeting the Pope this past Friday.

Apparently a noticable large spot of brown was noticed on the back of Biden’s pants after the meeting.

Today Biden was looking lost and confused at today’s G-20 summit in Rome.

He had wandered to the far side of the stage by himself and was busy talking to invisible summit participants.

Later the G-20 leaders stood with their backs to the Fountain of Trevi and threw coins backwards into the fountain making wishes as they did so.

An Italian tenor sang “Three coins in the fountain, which one will the fountain bless…?”.

Joe Biden before falling into the Fountain remarked, “Say, didn’t Steve Martin sing that song in the movie Planes, Trains and Automobiles?”.

“I much preferred John Candy’s rendition of “Flintstones, meet the Flintstones…” in that very same movie,” the ghost of Rod Serling remarked.

Rod Serling’s ghost was present at the G-20 Rome Meeting since it would definitely qualify for being an episode of The Twilight Zone.

The banner of Planet People Prosperity blew in the wind over the summit.

Yaldabaoth went on to the next news item.

Leprechaun reporters were speculating that Mark Zuckerberg must have flunked conversational Hebrew after Zuckerberg announced that the name of his company was being changed from Facebook to Meta.

Meta is apparently the Hebrew word for Death.

Meta is also the ancient Assyrian word for Death so Zuckerberg might have flunked ancient Assyrian as well.

And one of the leprechaun reporters had discovered Jorge Mario Bergoglio (aka Pope Francis) had been sniffing crack cocaine after the Biden meeting.

Francis then went on to write a thoroughly incomprehensible speech for his monthly Pope Video this one babbling about “social poets” and “dreams” and “wishes” and “clouds” and “hope” and “joy” and more babbling about “social poets” and “dreams” and “wishes” and “clouds” before he finally lost what remained of his mind at the end of the video.

As for Dr. Nicht Werhoffen, who had once been a research scientist for the East German Stasi prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall but then became a research scientist for the Russian FSB (after the collapse of the Soviet Union), he had inhaled the entire package of Uncle Ernie’s Drug of The Day Club that was mailed to him daily from Australia.

He then built a transhumanist robot using an electric fan for the legs and various other contraptions for the rest of the anatomy.

There was a TV security camera for the right eye of the robot.

However Werhoffen got the lovely Moscow model Oksana Astarov to pose with it making a rather impressive debut photograph.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday October 31st
2021.

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