100 More Days Till Halloween…

July 23, 2021 at 10:58 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, Horror, International Intrigue, Mystery, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

“This is Jack Anderson at Terror 97 FM in London- the radio station that keeps you in stitches – a la style of Dr. Victor Frankenstein’s creation. This just in from Canada… Earlier today genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee slew two more ugly women in a Dollarama store in Calgary. And now here’s Air Supply singing their coming Halloween hit Two Less Ugly People In The World…”

. . .

There was a state of excitement prevailing in the Vatican among the city state’s wide assortment of Jesuit priests for word had come to pass that the demon Baphomet was going to address them at A Come As You Are convention in the Vatican Sauna Steam Bath House named Hyacinth Sizzles Apollo’s Swizzle Stick.

Meanwhile in the Papal Apartments, Pope Francis was consulting with one of his leading theological advisors Walter Cardinal Kasper.

“Your Unholiness,” Kasper addressed Bergoglio by his most appropriate title, “a group of flying saucer UFOs containing 6.66 feet tall T-Rex ET reptilians have landed within the walls of the Vatican.”

“What for?” Francis asked as he licked a Spartan Greek popsicle.

“We’re not sure,” Kasper answered.

. . .

British Prime Minister Boris Johnson had been hiding inside a tomb in London’s Highgate Cemetery ever since British MP Renfield R. Renfield publicly called for the 10 Downing Street occupant’s assassination this past Wednesday.

The colourful and controversial MP had issued the assassination call after the Zombie Nosferatu Tory Prime Minister (whose forehead had been etched with the words I AM AN APOSTLE OF THE ANTICHRIST in red felt ink) announced this past Wednesdy that he intended to introduce a vaccine passport in Britain next month.

Bishop Sean Manchester the traditionalist Old Catholic Church Bishop of Glastonbury and a leading exorcist was walking around the cemetery amidst reports that a vampire was once again haunting the cemetery for the first time in 51 years.

As Johnson sat inside the tomb with sweat on his forehead, the ghost of Karl Marx (looking well roasted) appeared alongside him and asked him, “How’s it going?”.

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish Leprechaun was in Highgate Cemetery eating cold mutton sandwiches and drinking Guinness beer.

He was listening to Terror 97 FM London on his old 1970s style transistor radio.

The radio was playing a commercial and a Halloween holiday jingle, “100 more days till Halloween… Silver Shamrock.”

A hand holding a silver shamrock suddenly appeared out of the ground near the old gravestone where Yaldabaoth was having his evening picnic totally freaking the wee leprechaun out.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday July 23rd
2021.

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Thessalonike of Macedon Meets Dracul and Yaldabaoth

July 8, 2021 at 10:49 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Thessalonike of Macedon

Prof. William Charles an Associate Professor of Mythology, Folklore, Vampirism, Lycanthropy and Paranormal Studies at Oxford University was delivering a lecture in front of a fountain with a statue of a mermaid inside the fountain.

Prof. William Charles was delivering the lecture to a camera as part of an on-line course that he was teaching.

Said Prof. Charles, “Now there is a popular Greek legend that says Alexander the Great’s half-sister Thessalonike of Macedon became a mermaid and lived and frolicked in the Aegean Sea for hundreds of years.
The legend states that Alexander the Great in his quest for the Fountain of Immortality managed to get a flask of this immortal water.
He happened to wash Thessalonike’s hair with this flask of immortal water.
For Alexander had foolishly forgot to bring along the bottle of shampoo that his half-sister Thessalonike had asked for.
Not wanting Thessalonike to throw a major spaz attack as a result of his blundering, Alexander used the flask of immortality water to wash his half-sister’s hair instead.
When Alexander the Great died in the Persian capital of Babylon in June 323 BC, the legend says that his grief-stricken sister attempted to end her life by jumping into the sea.
Instead of drowning, however, she became a mermaid passing judgment on mariners throughout the centuries and across the Seven Seas.
To the sailors she encountered, she would always pose the same question, “Is Alexander the King alive?”.
To which the correct answer would be, “He lives and reigns and conquers the world.”
Given this answer, she would allow the ship and her crew to sail safely away in calm seas.
Any other answer would transform her into a raging Gorgon bent on sending the ship and every sailor on board to the bottom of the sea.”

. . .

“So that was how the German battleship Bismarck was actually sunk to the bottom of the sea?” British Prime Minister Boris Johnson was reading the top secret report on the sinking of the Bismarck that was finally being released over 80 years after the incident had happened back in May of 1941.

“It looks like Johnny Horton’s ghost will have to rewrite the lyrics of his hit song Sink The Bismarck,” An eavesdropping British MP Renfield R. Renfield (who had wiretapped Boris Johnson’s office) quipped.

“Who would have thought that it was a mermaid?” Amadeus Emanon ate a plate of sweet and sour jumbo shrimp, “And Alexander the Great’s half-sister at that.”

. . .

Meanwhile as animals at the Denver Zoo in Colorado were now being injected with Covid vaccines as part of the Biden Administration’s MAKE AMERICA WOKE AGAIN efforts, a demon possessed marine biologist had injected the mermaid Thessalonike of Macedon with a Covid-19 vaccine in the Aegean Sea.

The end result of the injection was that it had turned Thessalonike of Macedon into a mortal woman again.

And it was in that form that Thessalonike of Macedon had appeared to Dracul Van Helsing and Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun on a pier on the Aegean Sea.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday July 8th
2021.

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The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

May 14, 2021 at 10:18 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a rare Friday night podcast.

Renfield concluded his podcast by saying, “Wiith the so-called Great Reset off to a disastrous start, the Biden Administration, leading globalists and the Vatican held a conference today at the Vatican called “Dreaming of A Better Restart.” Well dreaming is about all they’ve got. And their dream is the stuff of nightmares for humanity.”

. . .

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was sharing a massive quantity of whiskey, gin, beer and vodka with Extremely Curious George the genetically created stegosaurus of Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

They were sitting at a Set Enterprises computer.

“Well, George, hic! hic!,” Yaldabaoth said to the plated back dinosaur with the spiked tail whose species last existed in the Jurassic period of the Mesozoic era, “In my current state of inebriation, I seem to have stumbled upon some website called Top Secret Contingency Plans For The Better Restart of Our Currently Failed Great Reset.”

Extremely Curious George hiccoughed in reply.

“An excellent idea,” Yaldabaoth hiccoughed in agreement, “I think I shall change what it says here, insert my own ideas and send them off to every Better Restart of The Great Reset operative on the planet.”

Extremely Curious George smiled and wagged his tail.

. . .

Set Enterprises secret agent Miranda Singh isn’t expecting much from the Better Restart of The Great Reset.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday May 14th
2021.

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Sophia On One Fine Day In 1955

May 4, 2021 at 10:50 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )


Sophia the Gnostic Greco-Egyptian goddess of wisdom
Currently lived in Italy
On this date in 1955.

It was a tantalizingly hot day
Steamy, sultry, humid.
Her maid approached her,
“Dr. Carl Gustav Jung is here to see you.”

“The famous Swiss psychoanalyst?”
Sophia wiped her brow
As her maid wrung Sophia’s sweat out of her dress
The heat was suffocating.

“What does Jung want?”
Sophia asked.
“He wants to see your son,”
Her maid answered.
“Yaldabaoth?”
Sophia looked at her maid
Through drips of persperation.

“Yes, he wants to meet the Demi-urge
who created the material physical universe,”
Her maid smiled at Sophia.

“But that’s only what I told people,”
Sophia doused her head into a nearby spring
To wipe away the sweat and perspiration,
“He’s actually an Irish leprechaun
with a serious drinking problem.”

“Well, I guess Dr. Jung is going to find that out for himself,”
Her maid sighed,
“He’s up at the house.”

“My God, no,”
Sophia went running back to her estate in Tuscany.
“What god would that be?”
Her maid asked.
“Ultimately the Unknown God of The Greeks
whose altar bears an inscription in Athens.”

Sophia went back to her house
And opened the door.
There lay her son Yaldabaoth on the floor
Buried under a mass of bottles
of Jameson Irish Whiskey.
He was busy singing,
“Roll out the barrel,
We’ll have a barrel of fun,
Roll out the barrel,
We’ve got the blues on the run…”

“This is he who created the material physical universe?”
Dr. Carl Gustav Jung raised an eyebrow in Sophia’s direction.
“Well… uh…” Sophia was at a loss for words.
“When I look at the state of the world, I tend to believe it,”
Dr. Jung wiped his glasses, rose and left.

“Just wait until you see the world in 2020 and 2021,”
Yaldabaoth called out after Dr. Jung.
“Or so a time travelling gypsy tells me.”

“This is awful,” Sophia looked out the window
As Carl Gustav Jung was driven away in a waiting limo.

“What’s awful is there’s no Jameson left,”
Yaldabaoth looked inside the closet.

“Awful,” Sophia wiped her brow.

Her maid walked up the path
As Dr. Jung’s limo drove by.

Her maid wondered, “Will the doctor see that UFO hovering over the stream?”

-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 4th
2021.

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Mei-ling Manchu At The Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B In Beijing

April 12, 2021 at 10:59 pm (Espionage, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Romance, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , )

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B in Beijing

Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu was waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing.

Mei-ling Manchu had once been a loyal follower of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).

But during the last decade she had come to realize that the CCP had only increasd misery not alleviated it.

For the real purpose of the CCP had been, like that of Communist parties everywhere, to crush the human soul.

Having once been a dialectical materialist, she had not believed in the existence of the human soul.

But in the dissidents she had occasionally met over the years, those dissidents who had stood up against the CCP regime in Beijing, she had come to realize that the human soul and the human spirit did exist in those dissidents.

Those who continued to follow the regime, followed its despotic decrees day by day and meekly accepted the CCP’s diabolic Social Credit score were allowing their souls day by day to die little by little.

Until one day their souls were no more.

And they were just human fleshed cogs in a CCP machine who’d one day be replaced by robot cogs in the machine as the Transhumanism of the new Xi Jinping inspired CCP Transhumanism and the Transhumanism of the western globalist technocratic Fascism of the capitalist West merged into one.

What was killing the souls of the once great Chinese people was now killing the souls of people across the globe.

For lockdowns and isolation and the creation of a two-tiered system of people via vaccine passports was spreading throughout the world.

And most did not resist.

For their souls had been killed by the diabolical dialectic materialism of monopolistic capitalism with its greed and avarice (what Saint Paul had dubbed “the love of money” which the Apostle had further noted was “the root of all evil”).

Like Esau in the Bible who had sold his inheritance for a bowl of pottage, so the peoples of the West had sold their inheritance (their souls) for a bowl of pottage (whatever little bits of slop their globalist technocratic masters threw at them as long as they kept on their masks, practiced their social distancing and continued their OCD continuous handwashing).

The Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. in Beijing was owned by Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.

He had been granted permission to open this B. and B. by Chinese Premier Chou En-lai back in the early 1970s.

As David Cheung the owner of Edmonton’s Pearl River Restaurant had once told a young University student (today a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield) that when Chou died “the people of China wept both in public and in private but when Mao died they wept in public but not in private”).

The inference being that Chou did have the interests of the Chinese people at heart even though he had mistakenly chosen the philosophy of Marxism-Leninism to bring about a better society.

While Mao did not have the interests of the Chinese people at heart.

He was a megalomaniac who craved power for power’s sake.

Just like today Xi Jinping was a 2nd Mao Tse-tung.

Chou and Yaldabaoth had once made their own recipe a Peking Duck Irish Stew together and Chou had let Yaldabaoth have this property as his reward.

And today Mei-ling Manchu was meeting British MP Renfield R. Renfield at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. to put the final touches on their plan to kill Xi Jinping.

Renfield, who had disappeared from public sight in Britain last week, had in fact been flying the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s invisible dirigible airship The Claude Rains and Lamont Cranston Project One over to China.

Renfield and Mei-ling greeted one another with a hug and a kiss and then went into the B. and B.

“Mei-ling,” Renfield inquired, “Sherrielock Holmes was telling me about anassignment she had once done for Britain’s MI-6. The matter apparently involved then California U.S. Republican Senatorial candidate Richard M. Nixon and yourself. She had hired a Los Angeles private eye Carson Cody Albion to see what was going on. Apparently Albion discovered that you had failed in your attempt to seduce Nixon.”

“I did not fail,” Mei-ling said, “It turns out that Nixon, despite his many faults, was at least loyal and faithful to his wife which is not true of most male politicians of whatever political stripe in the U.S.A.”.

“So you got nothing out of your encounter?” Renfield sipped his cup of green tea.

“I did hypnotize him with a Ming dynasty pocket watch- the first pocket watch ever invented,” Mei-ling noted, “I said whenever he heard a German wearing glasses singing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories, then he was to open up diplomatic relations with the government of the People’s Republic of China. One of our operatives Ho Babylon Minh hypnotized Dr. Henry Kissinger via use of a blow job to sing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories at a White House gala in early 1971. That set everything in motion. Nixon in a live TV address on July 15th 1971 announced that he would be visiting the People’s Republic of China.”

As Mei-ling Manchu tossed a 1000-Year-Old egg into a nearby garbage can, Renfield wondered to himself, “I wonder who got the best end of the stick? Nixon or Kissinger?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 12th
2021.

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Yaldabaoth’s Interesting 48 Hours

March 29, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I understand Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun has had an interesting 48 hours,” British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked to his friend Amadeus Emanon as they sat down to late evening tea and crumpets in the dining room of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s colossal west London mansion.

“He did?” Amadeus bit into a crumpet.

“Yes, yesterday he was almost arrested by Irish Garda police for driving a Catholic priest to his parish church to say public Mass,” Renfield answered.

“Is that a crime?” Amadeus was shocked.

“It is now,” Renfield nodded, “The Antichrist government of the once Catholic nation of Ireland is now the most Antichrist government in Western Europe. They’re recently made it a crime for a priest to leave his home to say a public Mass as well as made it a crime for anyone to leave their home to attend Catholic Mass.”

“How did Yaldabaoth escape the Irish Garda Police?” Amadeus inquired.

“The car Yaldabaoth was driving was a replica of the Batmobile from the 1966-68 television series Batman starring Adam West and Burt Ward (that the little leprechaun won in a Guinness drinking contest a few years back) so he managed to outrun them,” Renfield explained.

“Then what did Yaldabaoth do in his next 24 hours?” Amadeus poured himself a cup of English Breakfast Tea even though he was having late evening tea and crumpets.

“Well, earlier today Yaldabaoth was small enough to fit inside a baby submarine the Seed of Nautilus that succeeded in freeing the 1300 foot Evergreen Marine container ship MV Ever Given that was stuck in the Suez Canal,” Renfield smiled.

“Yaldabaoth was responsible for freeing the Ever Given?” Amadeus was astounded.

“Yes, his mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom should be so proud,” Renfield sipped his own cup of English Breakfast Tea.

Meanwhile the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set was having a phone conversation with his CEO of Set Enterprises a man called Watson Holmes.

“This is a public relations disaster,” Set wept in his beer, “Our company has baby subs. We could have easily leant Yaldabaoth one when he was doing his deep canal route dive to free the Ever Given that was stuck in the Suez Canal. Instead my rival, sister and sister-in-law the Paris based Egyptian vampiress Isis gets all the glory and publicity for letting Yaldabaoth use her baby sub the Seed of Nautilus ”

“I’m afraid it was that idiot Dr. Marmalade Montague who took the phone call when Yaldabaoth phoned Set Enterprises,” Set Enterprises’ CEO Watson Holmes explained, “Dr. Montague misheard and thought Yaldabaoth was asking for a baby tub to use. And Marmalade said, “Sorry, we have no baby tubs” and hung up the phone.

Meanwhile in Paris, France the Egyptian vampiress Isis (who was worshipped as the goddess of the moon, magic and healing in ancient Egypt and who was Set’s rival, sister and sister-in-law as well as the wife of Osiris and the mother of Horus) was basking in the glory of having had her baby sub the Seed of Nautilus used by Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun in freeing the container ship Ever Given from the Suez Canal.

She was being photographed by the assembled world press.

Egypt’s goddess Isis basking in glory.

It was a good thing for Yaldabaoth that he was still in Egypt.

Otherwise he might have keeled over and died on the spot had he been in Paris and saw the killer outfit that Isis was wearing.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 29th
2021.

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Michelangelo’s Morning Routine

March 18, 2021 at 10:36 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

“I had a really bad dozen years.”
-Adolf Hitler reflecting on his time as leader of Germany from 1933-1945 which oversaw the Holocaust, the invasion and takeover of several countries and World War II resulting in millions upon millions of deaths.

“All right, Herr Hitler, we’ll let you return to your rotating barbeque spit down in the flames of Tartarus,” Renfield finished his radio interview, “I imagine you must use the same speechwriter as members of the Atlanta Georgia Police Department.”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster woke up from his dream as his waterproof alarm clock (with the face of Groucho Marx on it) went off.

Coincidentally Renfield was doing a newscast on BBC World Service Radio as the lobster stretched his claws and got out of bed.

“Meanwhile in other news,” Renfield’s voice could be heard saying, “a giant cloud of dust emerged from the Vatican today as Pope Francis opened his Bible…”

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster crawled out of his aquarium, grabbed a towel from a nearby drawer and crawled down the hall to the Set Enterprises Employees Shower Room where he took a shower.

Extremely Curious George the recently cloned and genetically created stegosaurus of Set Enterprises’ chief scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher gazed at the lobster with a look of extreme bafflement on his face as he watched for the very first time this morning routine of the world famous Psychic Lobster.

Of course others at Set Enterprises (who had been around a lot longer than the recently cloned and genetically created stegosaurus) still looked at Michelangelo’s morning routine with extreme bafflement on their faces whenever they saw it.

The only ones who didn’t take a second look were Set Enterprises’ eccentric scientist Dr. Marmalade Montague as well as the ghost of Winston Churchill whenever he happened to be visiting Set Enterprises Laboratories.

And speaking of Dr. Marmalade Montague, he had the body of Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun on a gurney with his mouth stretched wipe open about to receive the contents of 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin being poured down his throat through a contraption recently invented by Dr. Montague.

Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster (dressed in a surgeon’s gown) had, last night, in his third post-mortem performed on the leprechaun since the start of this year, determined the cause of death to be Guinness laced with an extremely high content of a particularly toxic variety of cobra venom.

The other two times Yaldabaoth had died since the start of 2021- the 1st cause of death had been eating lutefisk and the 2nd cause of death had been drinking a bottle of champagne laced with Fire Salamander venom.

Coincidentally on all three occasions Yaldabaoth had keeled over and died on the spot after seeing a beautiful woman wearing a killer outfit.

Now Dr. Marmalade Montague was once again using 1001 bottles of Hendrick’s Gin to bring Yaldabaoth back from the dead.

“I think Hendrick’s Gin should start advertising this medicinal benefit of their product for leprechauns in their TV commercials,” Amadeus Emanon remarked to Set Enterprises Intelligence Secret Agent Miranda Singh.

“Maybe someone should let them know,” Miranda suggested.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 18th
2021.

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Cleopatra, Maitreya and Yaldabaoth On Saint Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021 at 10:45 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, magic, Mythology, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

It was Saint Patrick’s Day 2021.

And Yaldabaoth was on a bridge overlooking the River Liffey in Dublin, Ireland.

The night before he had been in a psychiatrist’s office at Saint Raphael’s Hospital in London.

The session was to help him overcome his drinking problem.

But judging from the amount of Guinness he had drunk on this Saint Patrick’s Day Evening in Dublin, it was obviously going to take more than one session.

“Yaldabaoth,” the man named Peter Whitstable (whose unofficial title was the Fox Mulder of Interpol) greeted him.

“What are you doing here in Dublin?” Yaldabaoth asked, “Do you have some more cloak and dagger work for me to do?”.

The leprechaun put on a green cloak and then pulled a green jade dagger out of one of his green socks and put it in his green belt.

“As you know the past dozen years, the Irish government has become increasingly made up of Apostles of the Antichrist,” Whitstable noted.

“I imagine Saint Paddy is not too pleased with that,” Yaldabaoth drank his Guinness, “Is Harvey Tallbanger the invisible (to mortals) bunny rabbit here to throw green algae cream pies in their faces?”.

“Most likely yes to your first statement and I don’t know to your second,” Whitstable answered, “I do know most leading members of the Irish government have taken an oath of allegiance to a hidden and secret High King of Ireland.”

“And who is this hidden and secret High King of Ireland?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“Maitreya a golden cobra serpent supernatural entity from the Himalayan region of Tibet and Nepal,” Whitstable replied.

“Oh yes, he did have himself crowned High King of Ireland at the Hill of Tara back on Saint Patrick’s Day in 2018,” Yaldabaoth wiped his runny nose with a green handkerchief, “I believe he had crowned Queen Cleopatra VII Philopator of Egypt (whom he had resurrected from the dead) his High Queen as well.

“Exactly,” Whitstable nodded, “Cleopatra is currently staying at a hotel here in Dublin.”

“What hotel?” Yaldabaoth asked.

“This one,” Whitstable handed the leprechaun a card with the hotel address on it, “I want you to get her photograph for my Interpol files. We do not have a photo of the living Cleopatra.”

“Seeing as how she’s been dead since the 1st Century BC and was only resurrected 4 years ago, I can see why,” Yaldabaoth nodded, “I imagine Saint Paddy is probably ticked that not only has a serpent returned to Ireland (he having driven the serpents out of Ireland) but is further ticked that a serpent has crowned himself High King of Ireland.”

“I would imagine,” Whitstable agreed.

Meanwhile in Washington DC, U.S. President Joe Beijing O’ Biden asked one of his aides why one of the White House fountains was green.

“You ordered it dyed green for Saint Patrick’s Day,” his aide answered.

“I did?” Biden scratched his head, “Is it Saint Patrick’s Day?”.

The aide nodded.

“Then why is my desk cactus dressed as Santa Claus, why is my dog dressed like the Easter Bunny and why is Hunter dressed like a crack pipe smoking Great Pumpkin?” Biden inquired.

Meanwhile back in Dublin, Ireland, Yaldabaoth entered the hotel room where Cleopatra was staying.

He carried in his hands a black and white film camera that had once belonged to film director Orson Welles when he was alive.

Yaldabaoth entered Cleopatra’s bedroom and snapped a photo.

Cleopatra the former Queen of Egypt and current High Queen of Ireland

After snapping the photo, Yaldabaoth gasped, “My God, that’s a killer outfit you’re wearing.”

He then fell over dead.

“Jesus,” an Irish Jesuit priest, who was recently defrocked by his superior for being straight and heterosexual, remarked as he walked by the open door in the hallway.

“Oh, the void, the void,” a spider, who had recently come in contact with radioactive material in a science lab, remarked as he crawled by.

“This looks like a job for Dr. Marmalade Montague and his Hendrick’s Gin Dunking Machine,” Harvey Tallbanger commented as he walked by and noticed Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun lying dead at Cleopatra’s spiked stiletto high-heeled shoes feet.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 17th
2021.

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Sophia Wants Yaldabaoth To See Dr. Adaeze Salisu

March 16, 2021 at 10:02 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Dr. Adaeze Salisu

“Who is this woman?” Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun asked his mother Sophia the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom, “And why are you showing me this photograph of her?”.

“I thought since you’ve been doing cloak and dagger work on behalf of Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol,” Sophia explained, “You might take more notice if a photograph was shown of her. Like the leader of the Mission Impossible team looked at photographs of people before a recording self destructed in 10 seconds.”

“Nothing is going to self-destruct around here in 10 seconds is it?” Yaldabaoth looked around the room with concern.

“Of course not,” Sophia laughed, “Anyhow, now that I’ve got your attention with that photograph, the woman is Dr. Adaeze Salisu the head of psychiatry at Saint Raphael’s Hospital in London. I want you to see her.”

“You want me to see a psychiatrist?” Yaldabaoth’s jaw dropped and a gold doubloon coin fell out of his mouth.

“About your drinking problem,” Sophia sighed, “You must admit you’ve had a severe drinking problem for centuries.”

“And why can’t I have it for several more centuries?” Yaldabaoth protested.

“You should really be doing more with your life than drinking,” Sophia looked glum.

“But like you yourself said I’ve been doing cloak and dagger work on behalf of Peter Whitstable the Fox Mulder of Interpol,” Yaldabaoth pointed out.

“And how has that been working out for you?” Sophia asked, “You’ve died twice when you met one of your fellow cloak and dagger secret operative associates the Lakota Sioux Princess Tanaka. And then on another occasion you were mooned by British Prime Minister Boris Johnson.”

“Cloak and dagger work wasn’t meant to be a bed of roses,” Yaldabaoth got the feeling he was sitting on thorns and stood up.

“Anyhow I’ve booked an appointment for you this afternoon,” Sophia smiled.

“You have?” Yaldabaoth was shocked.

Later as Yaldabaoth walked the streets of London in the direction of Saint Raphael’s Hospital, “Why would I need to see a psychiatrist?”.

He looked down an alleyway and noticed a stegosaurus sniffing a line of laundry.

“On the other hand…” Yaldabaoth took off his little green hat and scratched his head.

Later in the office of Dr. Adaeze Salisu.

Looking at Dr. Adaeze Salisu, he said, “I thought I as the patient was supposed to be the one lying on the couch while you as the psychiatrist sat on the chair.”

“I like doing things a little differently in my practice,” Dr. Adaeze Salisu smiled.

“I liked your sign on the door that said THE DOCTOR IS IN,” Yaldabaoth smiled, “I don’t suppose Psychiatric Help is still 5c like it was in the days of Charlie Brown, Lucy, Snoopy, Linus and the Peanuts gang.”

“No, I’m afraid it’s a lot more than 5c,” Dr. Salisu shook her head.

“Pity,” Yaldabaoth smiled, “I don’t suppose you have anything stronger to drink than that package of Canadian Red Rose Tea I see on your desk.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 16th
2021.

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Star-Crossed Leprechaun

March 11, 2021 at 11:43 pm (Espionage, Film, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, Movies, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

“Darling, darling, what is it you saw?” Parker Andrewes asked his wife Claire.

“Perhaps Madame Andrewes would like a cup of tea?” Bela the butler put a tea tray down on the table next to the lounging chair where Claire Andrewes had collapsed after looking out the window.

“Tea would be nice,” said Claire.

“Darling, what was it you saw?” Parker Andrewes asked his wife again.

“A leprechaun,” Claire replied.

“A leprechaun?” Parker Andrewes was stunned by the reply.

“You mean like the wee green folk who live in Ireland?” Bela inquired.

“Yes,” Claire nodded.

Our story begins several hours earlier in the year 2021 at 10 Downing Street in London.

“And what did you say your name was again?” British Prime Minister Boris Johnson asked his bald headed guest with the big fangs protruding over his mouth.

“Count Nosferatu,” the bald headed man with big fangs answered.

“Count Nosferatu?” Johnson removed some scrambled eggs that had been caught in his hair, “You mean like Count Dracula?”.

“No, Count Nosferatu like the 1922 German silent film Nosferatu starring Max Schreck,” the bald headed vampire answered, “Although his name was Count Orlok in the film but mine is Nosferatu. That’s because I was the world’s first Nosferatu.”

“What’s the difference between Nosferatu and other vampires?” Johnson removed some slices of bacon caught in his hair.

“Nosferatu are bald headed vampires,” Count Nosferatu replied.

“Really?” Boris Johnson started washing his hair with Johnson’s Baby Shampoo, “I hope that won’t happen to me. The ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith turned me into what she called a zombie nosferatu. I hope this doesn’t mean I’m going to go bald.”

“Many zombies still have hair,” Count Nosferatu reflected, “so perhaps you’ll be more zombie than nosferatu.”

“Gosh, I certainly hope so,” Johnson started drying his hair with heat from a toaster he held upside down over his head.

“I think someone’s filming us,” Count Nosferatu pointed to the potted plants on the stand outside the 2nd floor balcony window.

“It must be the blasted members of the press again,” Johnson seethed, “I’m going to settle this once and for all. I’m going to moon them.”

Johnson pulled his trousers and boxer shorts down.

He then turned around and bent over.

Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun was standing in the potted plants filming the Boris Johnson-Count Nosferatu meeting on behalf of Peter Whitstable the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol.

He was startled by the sight of Boris Johnson mooning him.

So much so that he pushed the wrong button on his Houdini-Tesla-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr Magic Lantern Film Projector and Camera.

The device could also serve as an instrument for time travel.

Yaldabaoth wound up in the year 1939 on the Parker Andrewes Estate near Watertown New York.

Claire Andrewes happened to be looking out the Andrewes mansion window at the time.

She noticed the wee leprechaun.

Yaldbaoth tried pushing another button on the device to return to the time from whence he came.

Instead he pushed a button that projected 3-D holographic images of the Boris Johnson-Count Nosferatu meeting including the British Prime Minister’s infamous mooning of the potted plants on the 2nd floor balcony window.

The sight of Johnson’s moon landing sent Claire Andrewes reeling into her lounging chair where her husband Parker and their butler Bela came rushing to her aid.

The ghost of radio show host Paul Harvey appeared outside the mansion and speaking into a ghostly microphone said, “And now you know the rest of the story.”

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 11th
2021.

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