The Edge of Darkness

April 6, 2021 at 10:47 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Spy Tales, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Amadeus Emanon had watched the evening news before heading to Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic Church C. Of E. Parish (that he attended) to take part in the Easter Tuesday evening service.

On the news, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson told a group of people that his government would be introducing a vaccine passport.

Shortly after making the announcement, a malt vinegar laced fish and chips cream pie was thrown in Boris Johnson’s face by an invisible entity.

Although a London bobby (who had been imbibing too many Harvey Wallbangers that afternoon) swore that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit (purple in colour with big pink floppety ears) who had thrown the cream pie in Johnson’s face.

“Harvey Tallbanger certainly has his work cut out for him these days,” Amadeus thought as he walked to Saint Genevieve’s.

Upon arriving at the Church, he noticed Fascist members of Fascist female Police Commissioner Cressida Dick’s Metropolitan London Police Service standing outside looking glum and constipated at the fact that the Church was open.

This was interfering with the plans of the Great Reset global oligarchy to bring forth the Antichrist.

Amadeus entered the Church where the service was said by one of the Church of England’s leading exorcists the Rev. Fr. Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds who also happened to be the parish Vicar.

As he sat down, two elderly ladies in front of him were whispering to one another, “I see the Saudi Royal Family is joining with Pope Francis and Boris Johnson to bring forth the Antichrist and his Mark of the Beast global vaccine passport by saying that only those who have been vaccinated twice with the vaccine will be allowed to go on pilgrimage to Mecca and Medina.”

“The Devil is everywhere,” the other lady whispered.

A Metropolitan London policeman who had stuck his head in through the door retreated when the woman made her remark.

The service then started.

During the sermon Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds announced, “Hans Kung the dissident Swiss Catholic theologian, whose writings were censured by the Vatican under Pope John Paul II and CDF (Congregation For The Doctrine of The Faith) head Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, has died today at the age of 93. Let us pray that he repented of his sins and errors and embraced the true Catholic Christian Faith before he died so he won’t spend all of Eternity languishing in eternal Hellfire.”

“Amen,” said Amadeus Emanon and the two ladies sitting in front of him.

. . .

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was taking Miss Sherrielock Holmes’ orange tabby cat Mr. Truffles for a walk as Sherrielock would be busy at work tonight.

Renfield sat down on a bench and started to recite Edward Lear’s poem The Owl and The Pussycat to Mr. Truffles.

Suddenly a gunshot came out of nowhere and almost hit Mr. Truffles.

Renfield chased after the assailant and brought him down tying him up.

Later in the interrogation dungeon of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s West London mansion, Renfield questioned the assailant.

“I’m a Neo-Bolshevik Communist,” said the man proudly.

“Who do you work for?” Renfield inquired.

“The American FBI,” answered the man.

The answer did not surprise Renfield as today’s FBI and CIA were positively crawling with Neo-Bolshevik Communists.

“Why did you try to kill Mr. Truffles?” Renfield asked.

“I didn’t,” the FBI agent replied, “I was trying to kill you but I was startled by a jack rabbit and I misfired.”

“Like this jack rabbit?” Renfield showed the FBI agent a photo of Jack O’ Hare a wild hare jack rabbit who used to live in the back yard of a geopolitical analyst friend of his.

“That’s the one,” the FBI agent nodded.

“Well done, Jack,” Renfield called out the dungeon window.

Jack O’ Hare perked up his ears and British actor David Jason said “Thanks” as he walked by.

“Why did you want to kill me?” Renfield asked as he took a sip from his cup of Earl Grey tea and took a bite of cheese on toast.

“Because you’re a threat to the Neo-Bolshevik Communist Great Reset New World Order,” seethed the FBI agent.

“You’ve got a point there,” Renfield felt the FBI agent’s head in the manner of a well-known 19th Century Armenian phrenologist whose name Renfield had currently forgotten.

“I know,” the agent laughed.

“Did you know that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II gave me a licence to kill a la James Bond 007 after I saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool?” Renfield put some butter on his slice of toast.

“I did not know that,” the FBI agent shrugged, “Why? Are you planning to kill me?”.

The FBI agent laughed uproariously.

Renfield pulled out his gun, pointed it at the man’s head, pulled the trigger and blew the man’s head off.

“Yes, in answer to your question,” Renfield put the gun back in his holster.

He got on the phone to Set Enterprises Laboratories and asked them to send over some man-eating nanorobots aka nanobots to eat the man’s body and lick up all the blood.

“The vampire Set doesn’t like his dungeon floor looking like a mess,” Renfield explained.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 6th
2021.

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‘Woke’ Zombies of The Apocalypse: Jacobin Terror Revisited

June 17, 2020 at 10:41 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

A group of reporters were social distancing in British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s office waiting for the parliamentarian to come out of his inner office and make a statement on the ongoing Neo-Bolshevik insurrection in America and its accompanying sympathetic protests in Britain.

How a movement that started out as peaceful protests against racism and police brutality had also produced a side movement of rioting and looting and the violent overthrow of all vestiges of the past promising a nebulous future which the ‘Woke’ zombies of the apocalypse assured everyone would be so much better than today.

The politicians who seemed to be the most sympathetic to the violent looting and rioting ‘Woke’ zombies of the Apocalypse were also those who were most in favour of keeping their citizens under perpetual lockdown and quarantine.

But then Commies of a feather always oppress together (when they’re not out in the streets re-enacting the Jacobin Reign of Terror).

Meanwhile inside his inner office, Renfield was reading the news that his favourite brand of pancake syrup was being taken off the market.

“What? No more Aunt Jemima?” Renfield exclaimed, “What happened? Did a pair of white cops kneel on her neck and then shoot her? Just wait until I get my hands on those cops.’

Renfield’s parliamentary assistant Mirabella Francesca Franconia then shooed the reporters out of the parliamentary office into the parliamentary hallway.

She didn’t want her boss getting in hot water again like he was prone to do.

Meanwhile outside on the streets of London, a courier for Brucie’s Baloney Parlour had just been run over by Boris Johnson’s motorcade when he held up a sign in front of it saying There Is No Civil War Going On In Syria.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday June 17th
2020.

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Easter Reflections In A World Haunted By The Zombie Apocalypse

March 28, 2016 at 7:12 pm (History, News, Poetry, The Supernatural) (, , , , , , , , )

Easter Reflections In A World Haunted By The Zombie Apocalypse

Jesus rose from the dead
But Jesus is not a zombie
He is not the Living Dead
He is the Living fully living and truly alive (in a glorified body- perfectly alive now and forever)

-A poem written by Christopher
Easter Monday
Monday March 28th
2016.

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Haiku About Zombie Apocalypse (Those Living Dead Creatures Who Feed On Human Brains)

January 16, 2015 at 7:25 pm (Humour, Poetry) (, , , , )

Haiku About Zombie Apocalypse (Those Living Dead Creatures Who Feed On Human Brains)

Zombie on island
with Kim Kardashian so he
died of starvation

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The Difference Between Jesus and Zombies and Vampires

April 25, 2011 at 8:16 pm (Commentary, Theology, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

So how did the Death Metal Lord Stryker come to rise from the dead that Easter Sunday morn of 2011?

Back on Saturday night, April 23rd 2011, three scientists were drinking dark ale and having steak and kidney pie in a pub called The George and Dragon (quite appropriate since April 23rd is the Feast Day of Saint George The Dragonslayer).

Since the three men noted they were drinking the same ale and eating the same type of pie, they decided to sit together at the same table.

The 3 men were-

1) Dr. Cadbury Rocher- the Chief Scientist at the laboratory of Set Enterprises- the company owned and operated by the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set.

2) Dr. Sterling Makabo- a Xhosa witch doctor from South Africa. He was both a Medical Doctor (M.D.) and a practitioner of his tribe’s traditional Black Magical practices (including the power to raise corpses as zombies). With his knowledge of both Western medicine as well as traditional African black magic, Dr. Makabo was naturally a frequent guest on The Oprah Show as well as a regular guest speaker at Rick Warren’s Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California.

3) Dr. Nicht Werhoffen- formerly a leading scientist for the former East German Stasi Intelligence Service in the former East Berlin (since 1991 he has worked for the Russian FSB Intelligence Service as one of their leading scientists).

Dr. Makabo and Dr. Werhoffen were listening to a magazine article being read aloud by Dr. Cadbury Rocher.

The article was written by Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing and was entitled What’s The Difference Between Jesus and Zombies and Vampires?

What’s The Difference Between Jesus and Zombies and Vampires?
by Christopher Dracul Van Helsing

Zombies have no souls. They are soulless corpses animated either by an energy wielded by the witch doctor or shaman who has raised them or else they are temporarily animated by demonic spirits. Unlike Jesus with His Resurrection Body, they can be put down again.

Zombies also are incapable of love or feeling or emotion or pain. All they are capable of is eating and devouring with their soulless husks.

Vampires do have souls. This is what distinguishes them from zombies. Vampires are not walking corpses. They are neither Living Dead nor Walking Dead. They are the Un-Dead- not quite alive in the way that ordinary mortal humans are neither are they dead like the dead who lie in the graves or in urns with their bodies and souls separated.

Vampires and vampiresses are capable of feeling love and hate and emotion and feeling and pain. Many vampires and vampiresses use their powerful seemingly immortal state (immortal unless they are staked through the heart or beheaded) for purposes of evil. There are some vampires and vampiresses however who try to use their existence for good and for performing acts of love.

Vampires and vampiresses could theoretically live forever. But practically… no they can be killed by a stake through the heart or being beheaded or being burned and consumed by fire.

Jesus has a soul. Being true Man (as well as true God), He has both a human body and a human soul.

Jesus is very capable of love and hate (He hates sin but not the individual sinner) and emotion and feeling and pain.

In HIs Resurrection Body, He does live forever and can never die again. He is the first individual in history to have truly conquered Death forever and ever.

Jesus always uses His existence for good and for performing acts of love.

-Christopher Dracul Van Helsing is a vampire hunter as well as a writer and an analyst in the fields of Geopolitics and International Relations.

* * *

Dr. Nicht Werhoffen took a sip of his ale, “Gentlemen, I put it to you with our knowledge of genetics and DNA and Artificial Intelligence and robotics and nanotechnology and vampires and zombies, could we not create a 2nd Jesus? Bring back from the dead someone who is neither vampire nor zombie nor Jesus but a transhuman Messiah for this era?”.

Both Dr. Makabo and Dr. Rocher looked at Dr. Werhoffen and nodded.

“So gentlemen,” Dr. Werhoffen smiled, “let’s do it. In fact, let’s do it tonight.”

On the television screen in the pub which had the sound turned down, a Catholic priest was being interviewed on BBC television and was just asked the question, “What ultimately is the Blasphemy Against the Holy Ghost that Jesus talked about?”.

To be continued.

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