Pan Goatee Beheads Uglo Bike Riding Brat and Her Moronic Father

June 12, 2024 at 8:58 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News) (Pan Goatee)

Pan Goatee uses his astral laser machete to behead a bike riding uglo brat and her moronic father

Pan Goatee was heading to the neighbourhood shopping mall.

A quite repulsively ugly looking uglo brat riding a bicycle and her low IQ moronic father also on a bicycle pulled up behind him.

Just like some parents are stupid enough to take their children to drag queen story time reading hours in public libraries to see and hear a bunch of perverted middle aged men wearing dresses read stories to them, so some dads are stupid enough to take their repulsively ugly looking uglo brat daughters bike riding in the same neighbourhood in which Pan Goatee resides.

When Pan crossed the street, the bike riding repulsively ugly looking looking uglo brat pulled up right behind him.

So Pan beheaded the repulsively ugly looking uglo brat on the bicycle and cut her up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces.

As Krampus arrived to pick up the remains of the repulsively ugly uglo bike riding brat to carry them down to Tartarus, Pan then turned his attention to the repulsively ugly uglo bike riding brat’s moronic looking bike riding father.

“In order to produce an ugly uglo bike riding brat like that as progeny, you must have fucked a really repulsively ugly looking uglo woman,” Pan deduced in Sherlockian fashion as he beheaded the moronic father and cut him up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces.

“I have felt a dramatic increase in the collective IQ of the City of the Calgary,” Krampus commented as he picked up the moronic father’s remains and carried them down to Tartarus.

Pan then walked to the neighbourhood donut shop.

There were only three other customers in the place.

One was a gentleman sitting by the fireplace wondering why it was even hotter than usual on this hot spring day.

“It must be due to climate change like Al Gore, John Kerry and Pope Francis are always telling us,” the man thought to himself.

The other two customers were a moronic looking moron and a repulsively ugly looking uglo woman sitting at a corner table by the far window.

“Good, the uglo and the moron are as far away as possible,” Pan thought to himself as he bought an Iced Cappuccino and sat down at a table far from the uglo and the moron.

Then for some reason the really repulsively ugly looking uglo woman stood up to yack on her mobile phone and to do so walked over to stand directly in front of Pan Goatee’s line of vision.

The satyr then beheaded the really repulsively ugly looking uglo woman and cut her up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond x 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces.

He then put his astral laser machete on autopilot and threw it at the moron who had been sitting across from the repulsive uglo.

The machete beheaded the moron and cut him up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces and then returned like a boomerang 🪃 to the genetically created satyr.

Pan then decided to walk to the Dollar Store.

As he opened the door of the Dollar Store, there was a really repulsive looking uglo and her moronic husband standing at the cashier.

So Pan once again put his machete on autopilot and threw it at the uglo and moron.

The machete beheaded uglo and moron and cut them up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces each.

And once again returned like a boomerang 🪃 to Pan.

He then went to the grocery supermarket where fortunately there didn’t seem to be too many uglos around today and there was a really pretty cashier working so Pan picked up a couple of bottles of Cola that were on sale and went to her till.

As he left the store, a repulsive uglo and two of her moronic friends were walking in his direction so Pan threw his astral laser machete at uglo and morons beheading them and cutting them up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces each.

When he waited at the intersection for the light to change, there was a group of 9 different people who were standing across the street from him.

3 of them were uglos.

So Pan threw his astral laser machete in their direction.

The machete (that hadn’t been developed by Apple or Microsoft or Google but rather by Set Enterprises) had a rather high aesthetic AI sensibility and was able to pick out the uglos and behead them and cut them up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces accordingly.

. . .

Lev Tomi the vampire Commander-In-Chief of NATO Forces in Europe (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky the Russian Soviet Commissar of War under Vladimir Lenin) was in Israel.

He was visiting the secret Israeli nuclear weapons facility in the Negev Desert with one of Benjamin Netanyahu’s cabinet ministers to personally select an atomic bomb for himself to use against Vladimir Putin’s Neo-Imperial Russian forces in Crimea.

On a previous occasion the Israeli cabinet minister had selected the atomic bomb for him.

But that turned out to be a disaster.

One of the many tragic consequences of that disaster of an explosion 💥 was poor Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky was forced to buy a new green shirt and new pair of green pants for himself (even though he already had a 100 metre by 100 metre closet full of them) after they were ruined in the explosion.

Zelensky also ordered from a used film shop in the U.S. a whole bunch of those old U.S. government civic lesson films for children in public schools of the 1950s on the proper way of how to duck and cover during a nuclear explosion.

He also ordered a dozen old film projectors from a vintage rare items store in Pocatello Idaho to run them.

Zelensky (who once ran an ad on Facebook that said I Earned $10 Billion A Year Just By Working From Home – Ask Me How) was able to afford all this.

Tomi (after he had purchased the bomb and saw that it was safely packed to be flown by Israeli cargo plane from Tel Aviv to Kiev) then asked the Israeli cabinet minister if he could visit Gaza to see how Israeli military operations against Hamas were progressing.

The cabinet minister said he would have to consult with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu first.

It turned out however that Netanyahu was currently involved in a Babylonian Talmud Memorization Challenge Contest and wouldn’t be available for another 12 hours.

So the Israeli cabinet minister flipped an Israeli shekel and threw it up into the air.

“Tails, the Ayatollah Ali Khameini loses,” the Israeli cabinet minister looked down at the coin 🪙.

The cabinet minister then looked over at Tomi, “All right, I grant you permission to visit Gaza on my own authority.”

“I’m very much looking forward to it,” Tomi smiled a sinister smile.

. . .

-A Pan Goatee tale
and Geopolitical
Vampire Novel
Chapter
Written Wednesday June 12th
2024.