Pan Goatee’s Twin Sister, Edgar Allan Poe, Robert E. Lee, The Mermaid and The Kraken: A Poem
DARPA Contract assassiness Panty Goatee disguised as the Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria appearing to Edgar Allan Poe on the day of his death October 7th 1849
‘Twas the night before the Super Wolf Blood Moon
and all through the earth, strange creatures were stirring
and at the CERN Large Hadron Collidor in Switzerland
Shiva and Kali danced the Dance of Death
because of the foolishness of foolish mortals
DARPA and CERN had teamed up to send
Pan Goatee’s genetically cloned twin sister
the beautiful Panty Goatee back in time
to Baltimore Maryland on October 7th 1849
disguised as Poe’s immortal love
the Dragon Warrioress Crown Princess Lenora of Lemuria
They were sending Panty back as Lenora
On this date of January 19th 2019
on what would have been Poe’s 210th birthday
if he had been still alive or had become an immortal
So as the full moon cast a mysterious looking lunar rainbow
Down upon a cloud as snowflakes fell to Earth
Around the Swiss countryside
And Kali and Shiva danced a frozen version of Swan Lake
as the Greek god Zeus choked on the drumstick of Leda’s
duck a l’orange
and the Chinese moon goddess Chang’e laughed heartedly
while sampling the delicacy of Peking Duck sprinkled
with a little Soma lunar elixir of life
As her snow white jack rabbit hare friend ate carrots
and developed superior night vision.
Why was Panty going back in time as Lenora
to Poe on his death day?
It was a plan conceived by DARPA’S new AI robot
Built by a DARPA employee under the mentorship of Sophia
The Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess of wisdom
Unbeknownst to both DARPA and CERN however
the AI robot had come up with the idea
after being shortcircuited
when DARPA’s mascot Jefferey the otter
had poured a 40 ounce bottle of bourbon
down the AI’s metallic throat
because Jefferey thought the robot could use a drink.
As such both the drink and the plan
would spell doom to the best laid plans
of CERN and DARPA
Both should have stuck to building better mousetraps
And making plans to celebrate Robbie Burns Day
later this month.
Panty as Lenora approached Poe
The writer looked at her and whispered “My long lost love Lenore”
Then he whispered “Reynolds” as he saw the genetic clone
That the immortal Egyptian scientist Imhotep
had made of the writer and named “Reynolds”
Poe then croaked
and a raven outside the window wept bitter tears
As Poe would say “Lenore” nevermore.
Inside a Rome coffee shop
Abraham Lincoln’s ghost
And the ghost of Gen. Robert E. Lee
celebrated the Confederate General’s 212th birthday today
January 19th 2019
As the Egyptian god Osiris watched
Lincoln raised his cappuccino in a toast,
“Here’s to old enemies becoming friends again”.
And on a marble floor inside the Vatican was a gold ashtray
containing the gold plated figures of a mermaid and a Kraken
who were very much in love
The Kraken told his beloved mermaid,
I want this moment to last forever
His wish came true when King Midas touched them both.
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday January 19th
2019.
Sophia, Yaldabaoth, A London Werewolf and The Wolfman
A black and white photograph taken of the Greco-Egyptian Gnostic goddess Sophia by Orson Welles in 1938
Sophia was worshipped as a goddess by early Gnostic groups emerging in the 1st and 2nd Centuries AD and their successors throughout the centuries.
Sophia was a daughter of Athena- she being born from Athena’s head just like Athena was born from Zeus’ head.
However on one occasion while visiting India, Sophia ran into the Hindu moon god Soma.
The lunar deity Soma gave Sophia some of his psychedelic elixir of immortality also called Soma to drink.
Sophia took quite an out of this world trip as a result.
She claimed to be an emanation – the last in a line of a series of emanations from a divine impersonal force she called the Ein Sof (meaning the Infinite or “Endless One”).
She went to Alexandria in Egypt in the 1st Century AD where she gave this revelation to many of the Neo-Platonist schools in the city.
Gnosticism developed as a result.
While in Egypt, she encountered the immortal Egyptian scientist Imhotep (he who had served as Chancellor to the Egyptian Pharaoh Djoser and was high priest of the Egyptian sun god Ra at Heliopolis).
Imhotep was trying to determine whether it was scientifically possible for a woman to have a virgin birth.
Sophia volunteered to be Imhotep’s guinea pig as it were.
She gave birth to a strange little being called Yaldabaoth.
The little fellow (and indeed he remained little all of his immortal life) travelled to Ireland where he became the world’s first leprechaun.
To this day Yaldabaoth enjoys drinking and spinning yarns and hiding pots of gold at the end of rainbows in his adopted country of Ireland.
However Sophia did not mention that to the Neo-Platonists of Alexandria.
Instead she said that her son Yaldabaoth was a Demiurge who foolishly created the material physical world (Sophia had imbibed some of the teachings of some Buddhist schools in Alexandria that the material physical cosmos was inherently and intrinsically evil) and that this Demiurge Yaldabaoth was the same as the god YHWH (Yahweh) worshipped by the Hebrew peoples.
This teaching was adapted and taught by a man named Marcion in the 2nd Century AD.
However Sophia who had now been a virgin for what she considered forever longed to have sex at last.
Imhotep had recently brought the Greek goat god Pan back from the dead.
Pan had died after drinking too much wine at a wedding celebration in Cana of Galilee (after he had laughed at one of the lunatic servants who told him that an hour earlier the wine had just been plain water).
As soon as Sophia saw the Imhotep resurrected Pan, she fell in love and they slept together.
Pan after having one Hell of an orgasm (and with a virgin at that) decided to celebrate by digging around Cana of Galilee again to see if there were any jugs of that delicious wine left.
Turns out there was, Pan drank it and promptly died again (this was wine to die for as far as Greek goat gods were concerned).
Anyhow Sophia turned out to be pregnant after her encounter with Pan and she gave birth (this time in a non-virginal fashion) to Baphomet the half-human half goat half male half-female entity.
Baphomet had the Norse god Loki as his tutor for several years and then Baphomet was adopted as a son by the fallen angel Samael.
On Samael’s advice, Baphomet was made a demon.
In 1938, Sophia had met the young Orson Welles on the same day as his infamous War of the Worlds Broadcast on radio and he had taken her photo.
Now Sophia was back in the United States again.
She was going to be attending a Super Wolf Blood Moon party this coming Sunday in Washington DC.
The party was being thrown by a British Lord- Lord L who was one of the high ranking members of the Illuminati (Coincidentally the founder of the Illuminati the Jesuit priest and canon law professor Adam Weishaupt had come into possession of the gnostic Pistis Sophia manuscript in 1773 which told one version of the gnostic Sophia myth- 1773 was also the same year the Jesuit order was suppressed by Pope Clement XIV. Weishaupt founded the Illuminati 3 years later in 1776).
Also attending the party would be Sophia’s old friend the Hindu moon god Soma.
Soma would be bringing bottles of the hallucinogenic elixir drink likewise called Soma with him.
Unbeknownst to NASA, the Chinese were using the Chang’e 4 lunar probe
to mine Soma on the moon.
They were flying the Soma elixir of life back to Earth for the Lord L party again unbeknownst to NASA because NASA employees were busy falling asleep listening to the speeches of Donald Trump, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer on who was responsible for the U.S. government shutdown.
Sophia smiled as a snow white hare in the Washington DC snow hopped by.
. . .
In London, a 119 year old Jesuit priest who had spent most of his life in Tibet and who had been the one to warn botanist Dr. Wilfrid Glendon not to look for the Mariphasa lupina lumina the phosphorescent wolf-flower which blooms by the light of the moon (and not the sun) because no one ever returned alive from the valley where it bloomed (the story was the subject of the 1935 film The Werewolf of London) was walking the streets of London.
He was hoping to locate the whereabouts of the Church of England’s most pre-eminent exorcist the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds who was currently in London.
Coincidentally enough, the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds was the grandson of the Rev. Father Augustine Bury Saint Edmunds who as a young priest had served as a curate and deacon at an Anglican Church in Llanwelly Wales a village which itself had been haunted by a werewolf (that story was the subject of the 1941 film The Wolfman).
The 119 year old Jesuit was hoping to inform Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds that a Welsh werewolf former British Labour Member of Parliament Magog Rhys Petley who now lived and worked as a private eye in London was going to be sacrificed at Lord L’s Washington DC Super Wolf Blood Moon Party in an effort to make a group of influential bankers and politicians immortal (Ironically enough Magog Rhys Petley had become a werewolf after he was bitten by the severed head of Rahu the Hindu demon of eclipses during a lunar eclipse back in 2011).
And the way the world was being sodomized by all kinds of forces these days- that’s all the poor old Earth needed at the moment- a bunch of crooked bankers and politicians who would live forever.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 18th
2019.
The Time Has Come, The Walrus Said, To Stop Interbreeding With Humans
Pan Goatee was standing at the public transit train platform after a hard afternoon of laughing at Donald Trump’s tweets.
Earlier he had walked by an indoor sand box at an indoor day care center where a rather stupid looking young boy had said to a rather airheaded looking young girl, “Well if you’re going to cancel my State of The Union address, I’m going to cancel your taxpayer funded military flight to Afghanistan.”
“Kids these days,” Goatee thought to himself.
Of course the adults in this city were even worse particularly the large corps of repulsively ugly looking woman in the city.
One ugly looking creature (no doubt the product of some illicit liason between a human and a gargoyle that sent poor Quasimodo plunging to his death off Notre Dame’s bell tower when he saw the sickening spectacle that would inspire English metaphysical poet John Donne to state centuries later, “Ask not for whom the bell tolls.”) tried to walk in front of Goatee.
The genetically created satyr serial killer promptly beheaded the ugly looking creature.
Goatee later boarded a bus at another train station to get home.
An extremely aesthetically facially challenged fat ugly blimp (no doubt another abomination of desolation genetic hybrid of some stupid drunken Calgary male’s illicit interbreeding liason with a fat ugly female walrus along the banks of the Bow River during the sobriety challenged days and nights of the Calgary Stampede) boarded the bus and Goatee promptly beheaded the fat ugly blimp.
He then cut her up into 666 sextillion pieces with his astral laser machete.
One Master’s Degree in Psychology student on the bus wondered to himself if this was an example of the toxic masculinity that the American Psychological Association and the latest new Gillette ads were warning people about.
“Well,” Pan Goatee, who had been developing his psychic powers for DARPA by staring at his own goat’s legs, answered the psychology student’s subconscious question, “My masculinity is certainly toxic for fat ugly blimps who are of course themselves highly toxic to earth’s aesthetic environment. Pope Francis should really praise my work in his next papal encyclical.”
When he got home, he noticed a fat ugly blimp walking kitty corner across from his house so he promptly beheaded her.
As he was about to cut the blimp’s head and body into 666 sextillion pieces (he seemed to have an obsessive compulsive disorder about that number Goatee thought to himself just like the Serbian-American inventor Nikola Tesla had an obsessive compulsive disorder about the number 3- he really should ask his psychiatrist about that at his next session), he received a text message on his Huawei smart phone that he wouldn’t be paid for this past month’s contract assassin work for DARPA as apparently his contract fell under the terms of the U.S. government shutdown.
“What the fuck!” Goatee foamed with rage, “DARPA scientists like Hyperion Sturm still get paid for developing AI robots for DARPA whose artificial stupidity would be second to none against AI assistants like Amazon’s Alexa and the Autoincorrect on the Samsung Galaxy tablet while I don’t get paid for bumping off high ranking bureaucrats in the Justin Trudeau government in an effort to make Donald Trump happy because he knows deep down in his cold metallic heart that Canada’s pot smoking boy wonder is a lot better looking than he is with his piss orange coloured toupee.”
Goatee immediately called his demon goat assistant Krampus the 2nd (genetically cloned from Saint Nicholas’ demon goat assistant on his December excursions throughout Bavaria and the former realms of the Hapsburg Austro-Hungarian Empire- the original Krampus) for assistance.
. . .
Donald Trump approached his bed.
He looked at the blankets and noticed there looked to be what appeared to be a head under his blanket.
Trump wondered whether he had pissed off any Russian racetrack owners lately.
He couldn’t ask his English butler and valet Lexington to look under the covers for him as Lexington had taken the evening off to go see the 1962 film The Manchurian Candidate that was playing at a Washington DC repertory theatre.
Finally Trump worked up the nerve to look under the covers himself.
He screamed the most bloodcurdling scream ever screamed in the history of the White House.
For there under the covers on his bed was the decapitated head of a hideous repulsively ugly fat ugly blimp.
Trump’s National Security advisor found the Donald a couple of hours later on his bedroom floor in a total state of shock clutching a pillow which had a picture of Marlon Brando as the Godfather on it while the Donald mumbled aloud the immortal words of England’s King Richard III in Act V Scene iv of William Shakespeare’s immortal play Richard III, “A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse!”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 17th
2019.
Haiku About The Miracle On The Hudson 10 Years Ago Today
‘Twas 10 years ago
True heroes still flew the skies
All aboard survive.
-A haiku written by Christopher
Tuesday January 15th 2019.
The Clock of Thoth: A Poem
Tefna listening to the sound of the Clock of Thoth tick.
The young woman called Tefna
was in her apartment bedroom
listening to the sound of
the Clock of Thoth tick
A clock designed by her father
A master clock maker
At the stroke and bong of each hour
Two figures would come out
The first was Thoth
The ibis headed ancient Egyptian god
Of the moon, magic and writing
And of course the Egyptian god who
was the recorder of time
The other figure was an Egyptian Pharaoh
who bore the likeness of the young
Actor/Director Orson Welles
The year was 1945
The date was August 6th
Feast of the Transfiguration
On the Church calendar
When Christ showed his Divine Deity
To his Apostles Peter, James and John
Tefna awaited news on what would become of her fiance
a sailor in the U.S. Navy still involved in the War In The Pacific
against Japan
Thor’s lightning bolt insigna warriors in Germany
had surrendered months earlier
but no word yet on those who fought for the ancient gods of Japan
A young American scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer
was seeking to become the Hindu god Shiva
The destroyer and transformer of worlds
But Tefna was unaware of him and his plans
And what they could possibly mean for her
As she listened to the ticking of the Clock of Thoth
On the wall
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!
As she always did at this same time every night
Before she went to bed
In the apartment next door
Hera the divine goddess queen of the Olympians
awaited the report of an immortal private eye
Carson Cody Albion
The Greek goddess Hera- that’s Juno to the ancient Romans!
She had suspected her husband Zeus
was getting it on with the modern goddesses
of the silver screen in Hollywood
The fact that she had heard him talking on the phone
seeking to borrow swan and bull costumes
from studio costume departments
only added to her suspicions.
In the apartment on the other side of Tefna
sat Hestia the Greek goddess of hearth and home
Hestia suspected that hearth and home would come to be neglected in America following the war
As both men and women followed Mammon
the ancient Babylonian god of banking and commerce
Who had helped America defeat Thor’s modern worshippers
All these things were unfolding in the building around Tefna
As she listened to the sound of the Clock of Thoth
tick on the wall
Tick-tock! Tick-tock! went the Clock of Thoth on the wall
As Tefna listened.
The Greek goddess Athena was there in black and white
on the silver screen
in the old repertory movie theatre
in West Hollywood
on January 14th
when Dracul Van Helsing
entered the theatre
and entered the screen
and then entered Athena
to sample hidden portals of wisdom
In the Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London
Dashwood Forrest looked at the painting
of Demeter
The Greek goddess of fields, crops and agriculture
looking down on a field of 19th Century French peasant women
Bringing in the sheaves for harvest
Looking at the painting
Dashwood Forrest was shocked to see and hear
Demeter speak to the French women,
What sort of powerful magician could seduce my Persephone
away from her husband
As Athena found tantric sex to be a tantalizing experience
On the silver screen in a West Hollywood repertory theatre
actress Akira Lane was showing a robotics maker
fresh from a technology show in Las Vegas
what wonders old technology could do
when blended with ancient magic
As an Irish Jewish science-fiction writer
George Finneganburg
hastily took notes
Meanwhile in a London casino
Former British Labour MP
The Welsh werewolf Magog Rhys Petley
(whose seat was now held by
British Transhumanist MP
Welsh vampiress Morgana)
walked in on an unexpected orgy
taking place on a casino table
The casino’s kinky quartet looked at him, smiled
and advised him not to miss Lord L’s
Super Wolf Blood Moon Party
in Washington DC
next Sunday night
with the brunette in short skirt and black silk fishnet pantyhose
Sitting atop the casino table
telling him not to miss it for the world
Renfield R. Renfield MP
had just finished writing his speech to move
a motion of non-confidence in Theresa May’s government
following the Brexit vote in the Westminster Parliament tomorrow
When suddenly he walked out into his Parliamentary office
waiting room
Where the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh
was waiting for him
Causing Renfield to burst the zipper on his trousers
When he saw her
He would have to buy himself a new suit
to deliver the speech in Parliament tomorrow
It was a moonlit night in Port Elizabeth South Africa
As the great South African artist SAREJESS
sat in the middle of the street with his easel and canvas
and paintbrush and paints
(praying that no motorists would be driving down the street this late at night to abruptly and undoubtedly painfully put an end to his lunar nocturnal painting expedition)
and painted what he saw
He would paint this quiet tranquil scene
before the ghost of a brontosaurus showed up
and walked across the street
And before the ghost ship of THE ghost ship
The Flying Dutchman
appeared on the surface of the water
on the horizon in the distance
As he sat there painting the canvas,
he wondered whether his wife and family were right
to think he was crazy
And there at one moment in time
somewhere in time
sat Tefna
always anxiously sitting on the bed
always anxiously awaiting for the phone to ring
to bring her news of her love
Same place
Same time
Night after night
but no sound of a phone ringing
Only the sound of the Clock of Thoth ticking
Tick-tock! Tick-tock!
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday January 14th
2019.
The Statue of Augustus: A Poem
A poem I wrote 5 years ago today:
The Statue of Augustus
The statue of Augustus washed ashore
a long lost artifact from days of yore
has it floated on the world’s oceans this long
past the many tunes and dancing jigs of a mariner’s song
under planes of war
and bombs galore
under satellites that track movement on the seas
and over subs far below the ocean breeze
image from an empire long gone
kept alive in a Vegas strip casino
with wine and song
Why hast thou returned to the shores of mortal men
Imperial god on whose death
to Olympus did ascend?
Thou once deemed immortal
who held the keys to a godly portal
now dost lie on ocean sand
far away from palace grand
thou whose word once made men shake
now lie like fallen monument
after earthquake.
-A poem written by Christopher
Monday January 13th 2014.
Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes: A Gothic Mythological Private Eye Poem
All of the faces and all of the places
Wonderin’ where they all disappeared…
It’s those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of our running and all of our cunning
If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane
Those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes…
Through all of the islands and all of the highlands
If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.
-Jimmy Buffett, August 1977.
The water nymph Ondine in a pre-Raphaelite painting
that Carson Cody Albion Private Eye gazed at on a wall
An immortal made immortal in stroke of brush and mixture on palette
And now he Carson Cody Albion who had been made immortal by Atargatis
Atargatis
would he too someday be immortalized in stroke of brush and mixture of palette
An immortal beyond time and space
captured on canvas in frame occupying a place on a wall
captured in paint by a particular person at a particular time and place
was this why infinity turned in on itself and formed a pair of loops
intersecting at a particular point in time and space?
And what of his painting?
Albion wondered to himself
Could his own sins and transgressions be transferred to his painted visage
As happened to Oscar Wilde’s hero of one Dorian Gray
in the Victorian dandy’s tale of gothic philosophical fiction?
In the same place California but at a different time over 75 years later
Dracul Van Helsing stumbled upon the aftermath of a child sacrifice to Baphomet
presided over by the state’s governor in an act of officially consecrating the state to the demons Baal and Baphomet
As moonbeams danced and sunflowers turned brown in the darkness of night and the crescent of a moon and the bloodbath following a baby’s screams at the hands of a World War II jerry’s insigniaed knife
Baphometa the daughter of Baphomet emerged
clutching her shoulder as if clutching a bloody wound
that was the sole remaining wound of the last vestige of whatever innocence she might have possessed
prior to participating in her first child sacrifice
Oh even daughters of demons stand wounded
when suddenly they come face to face with the dark side of their nature
when given their pedigree, surely the dark side was theirs by nature
but alas even for daughters of demons, darkness embraced and innocence lost
was not and should not be the lot of any of creation
since that dreaded day when the Light-Bearer ascended and became the Bearer of Darkness
An ascent that descended so rapidly
A light that burned so impenetrably it became the blackest of all darkness
Dracul rushed to embrace the distraught Baphometa
Leaving one to wonder could kindness and consolation drive the darkest darkness away?
Back 75 years, the real Ondine stood in front of Carson Cody Albion
Her hair colour had changed since the Pre-Raphaelite artist
had painted her picture in England in the 19th Century
Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
What a change that can bring
Switch the time, switch the place
Switch the hair
By a stream of water, the hero in the Pre-Raphaelite painting
had lost the water nymph Ondine
By a fountain of water, Carson Cody Albion had found her
Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Even H2O wasn’t the same everywhere
as ice and snow fell into the ocean
Below the cascading castles of clouds
Against a snowy backdrop, the Byzantine vampiress Theodora
stood with her two mastiffs in the Carpathian Mountains of Romania
Facing Interpol agent Peter Whitstable
Whitstable had heard the urban myths and legends and tales of mysterious black eyed children
and now he stood face to face with black eyed dogs
And they stood staring at him
If eyes be the mirror of the soul, then souls these two black eyed mastiffs did not have
But fortunately for Whitstable, he was not their target
The Russian Orthodox monk behind him was
Sent by Patriarch Kirill of Moscow
As an emissary to the Romanian Orthodox Church
to advise them to break communion with Constantinople
But such was not Theodora’s plan
And foolish mortals should not interfere with the best laid plans of vampiresses
Particularly one with black eyed mastiffs at her beck and call
Changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
From the mountain heights of Romania to the desert sands of Arabia
The Countess Draculina daughter of Count Dracula
strolling by the stream of the oasis palace of
Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman
And she saw the Prince walk by
Book in hand
But the book he carried was not the Quran
But the Zohar
Most pre-eminent text in the Kabbalah
Tantric sex with Baphometa was called for
As Marvin Gaye sang Sexual Healing in the background
Dracul Van Helsing healed her
And Persephone the Queen of the Underworld waited for Dracul at sunset
at an Episcopal monastery in Santa Barbara
From the depths of Hades her husband’s realm
To the heights of Santa Barbara
Definitely changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
As Dracul and the Queen of the Underworld had tantric sex
And the Canadian vampire hunter made a cuckold of Zeus’ infernal brother
A pomegranate was crushed beneath the feet of the pair
And Persephone laughed, “Oh, Dracul,
if we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.”
-A vampire novel chapter
and gothic mythological
private eye poem
written by Christopher
Saturday January 12th
2019.
Rahaf al-Qunun Granted Asylum In Canada
British MP Renfield R. Renfield drank a toast in champagne with his fellow British Transhumanist Party caucus MP the Welsh vampiress Morgana over the fact that Saudi woman Rahaf al-Qunun was being able to toast her new found freedom in red wine aboard a flight from Bangkok Thailand (via Seoul South Korea) to Toronto.
Toasting her new found freedom in red wine would no doubt cause many extremist Wahhabi imams in Saudi Arabia to roll over in their soaked liquid filled mattresses (caused by nocturnal and daytime emissions brought about by visualized thoughts of the 72 dark eyed houri promised them).
Earlier this evening, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced that the Canadian federal government would be granting refugee status to Miss Rahaf al-Qunun in Canada.
After having made the announcement, Justin spent a few minutes wondering about what had become of his beloved cannabis marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Strawberry Fields Forever.
The pot smoking and prickly little fellow had been kidnapped last month by Chinese Communist vampiress Mei-ling Manchu (the daughter of well known 1920s and ’30s mad scientist Dr. Fu Manchu of Sax Rohmer narrative fame) in retaliation for last month’s arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou by Canadian authorities on the orders of the “jealous because we’re lagging behind China in developing 5G networks” U.S. government.
Justin Trudeau missed conversing with the rather silent little fellow but more importantly missed the cannabis smoke exhaled by the greenhouse creature with the prickly disposition.
Inhaling all that smoke would allow him to converse with the ET gray Gali-Gula from planet Nibiru (who was possessed by the spirit of the ancient earthling Roman Emperor Caligula).
For some reason, the Canadian Prime Minister was only able to see the odd looking and eccentric gray little creature when he had been inhaling pot.
Justin was seeking Gali-Gula’s advice on who he should get to replace Scott Brison as President of the Canadian Treasury Board next Monday.
As Renfield sipped the champagne (and wondered whether 2004 was a good year as far as the French champagne growers were concerned), he thought of his good friend the Vietnamese vampiress Ho Babylon Minh who was the pearl white sparkling incisors smiling vampirically immortal granddaughter of the late Vietnamese President Ho Chi Minh.
Renfield and Ho had recently worked together in poisoning Apple CEO Tim Cook (again in retaliation for the arrest of Huawei CFO Meng Wanzhou at Vancouver International Airport).
Ho Babylon Minh was the one responsible for tonight’s happy conclusion in the Rahaf al-Qunun case.
When Rahaf al-Qunun had been detained by Thai authorities at Bangkok International Airport back on January 6th and a Saudi diplomat had confiscated her passport (no doubt with the same wanna be enthusiastic charm shown towards Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi consulate in Istanbul back in October), Ho Babylon Minh had rushed to Thailand to converse with her friend the King of Thailand.
As a result of Ho’s intervention, Miss Rahaf’s deportation back to Saudi Arabia was delayed.
If Miss Rahaf had been sent back to Saudi Arabia, it would most likely have been a race between her family and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman’s rather extensively large diplomatic janitorial cleaning service to see who could kill her first.
The United Nations Commission on Human Rights intervened and granted Rahaf al-Qunun refugee status.
Causing Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman to burst a blood vessel in his middle finger as he was examining plans for a Mark of the Beast system to be implemented for future citizens of his proposed autonomous NEOM economic zone along the Red Sea.
And now Rahaf al-Qunun was headed towards a new life in Toronto Canada.
. . .
U.S. President Donald Trump was lying in bed when suddenly the ghost of Sir Laurence Olivier appeared in front of him.
Olivier was portraying the role of Tom Snout a character in William Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Tom Snout was a tinker and one of the “mechanicals” of Athens an amateur theatre troupe putting on Pyramus and Thisbe a play within a play within A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Snout played the part of the wall separating Pyramus and Thisbe in Pyramus and Thisbe.
Olivier as Tom Snout as the Wall spoke thus,
In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Snout by name, present a wall…
With that a 219 inch colour TV built by Samsung appeared in mid-air.
“It may cost anywhere between $10,000 and $100,000
but far cheaper than $5.7 billion which only a knave and an ass would spend…”
Trump started screaming as his toupee suddenly became infested with the same black coloured crickets and cockroaches that had suddenly and mysteriously infested Mecca within the past few days.
Lexington his butler and valet entered the Presidential bedroom as Trump’s secret service bodyguards were fast asleep as they were no longer being paid due to the government shutdown.
“Is there something the matter, sir?” Lexington called out in the darkness.
“I’m having to shampoo my hair with a blow torch,” Trump cried back.
“Very good, sir,” Lexington closed the door and went back to bed.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday January 11th
2019.
Rahaf al-Qunun: Off to a new life in Canada.
Aztec Vampire Princess Qonzilqointec Marks Nicolas Maduro’s 2nd Inauguration
The Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec got up and walked away after she had successfully poisoned the head of Venezuela’s intelligence service.
She also had in her possession and in her purse the location of two Russian Tu-160 nuclear bombers (with nuclear bombs aboard) in Venzeula.
She’d be contacting British MP Renfield R. Renfield with that information.
She’d also be text messaging a photo of the head of the Venezuelan Intelligence Service (lying dead on the floor with a poisoned olive from a martini hanging from his mouth) to Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro moments after he was inaugurated for a second time.
The Aztec vampire princess would now be flying to Havana Cuba where she would watch Cuban President Miguel Diaz-Canal receive the Pope Francis Medal of Freedom Award presented to the Cuban leader by a leading Latin American liberation theology Jesuit theologian on behalf of the Pontiff.
She’d then meet with a United Nations official the vampire Lev Tomi (who in his mortal life had been Leon Trotsky the head of the Communist Fourth International) and plot their strategy to talk actress Angelina Jolie into running for the Democratic Party Presidential nomination in 2020.
After the vaudeville papal awards ceremony and the Tomi meeting, she’d then have a tantric sex marathon with Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing in a Havana hotel room.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday January 10th
2019.
Renfield: An Example of Traditional Toxic Masculinity?
January 16, 2019 at 11:54 pm (Commentary, Culture, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Philosophy, Politics, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Amadeus Emanon, German Cardinal Walter Kasper, Gillette ad, Kannon, Kannon Bosatsu, Miss Angelique Dumont, Pope Francis, Q-Anon, Q-Anon Conspiracy Theory, Qannon, Rahaf al-Qunun, Rahaf Mohammed, Renfield R. Renfield, The American Psychological Association, toxic masculinity, traditional masculinity)
Rahaf Mohammed at a press conference in Toronto Ontario Canada yesterday.
At a press conference in Toronto yesterday, Rahaf Mohammed thanked Canada for granting her asylum.
She also dropped her family surname al-Qunun as her family had disowned her.
British MP Renfield R. Renfield when interviewed by CBC Radio Canada on the subject thought that this was an excellent idea on her part.
Particularly as social networking conspiracy theorists in the U.S. might link her with Q-Anon the supposed Deep State operative in the U.S. government who claimed the Deep State were plotting to oust Trump and bring leftist Democrats to power.
“Al-Qunun to Q-Anon,” Renfield pointed out, “This might confuse Alex Jones and other people like him.”
Radio-Canada asked Renfield who he thought Q-Anon was.
“Q-Anon,” Renfield replied, “is a supernatural spirit dragon entity named Kannon Bosatsu who poses as an 11-faced 1000 armed bodhisatvva who’s worshipped at various Buddhist monasteries in Kyoto, Japan. He’s considered the God of Mercy by these Buddhist monks in Kyoto as well as by Pope Francis in the Vatican. This Kannon (from whom Canon Japanese cameras get its name) can also spell his name Qannon. He decided to shorten it to Q-Anon when posing as an informer Deep State deep throat to conspiracy theorists in the U.S. for the same reason that PBS hires British commentators to explain to American audiences what’s happening on BBC dramas shown on PBS since Americans presumably have no clue to be able to figure out the plot of these shows themselves. Kannon to Qannon to Q-Anon – all these supernatural entities hide their true identity in plain sight. So American conspiracy theorists will never be able to figure it out since they don’t have a British commentator to explain it to them. Just like they never bother asking themselves if Donald Trump truly wants to save America like Deep State operative Q-Anon supposedly does, then why at his recent televised statements on the topic of the Wall did Trump have Jesuit priests wearing Baphomet figures rather than Christ figures on their Crosses standing behind him on one occasion and then on another occasion having a guy wearing a Masonic Great Architect of the Universe insigna pin on his lapel standing behind him and then actually speaking on the issue of border security and the Wall? All these demonic operatives are appearing in plain sight, showing up on news clips they show on their own YouTube channels and the channel hosts don’t even notice it. And they also should be asking themselves this question, walls can keep people out, yes, but can’t they also be used to keep people in?”.
. . .
German Cardinal Walter Kasper was dressed as the Hitchcockian character of Norman Bates dressed as his mother to celebrate a Mass in honour of the demon Baphomet at the Vatican.
After kissing the Baphomet’s ass at the end of Mass, he then got on the phone to talk with Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman on the subject of extraterrestrials visiting Earth.
. . .
The ghosts of Liberace and Truman Capote (recently granted dispensational leave from the Underworld by the Greek god Hades and the Norse goddess Hel) were dancing in one another’s arms in front of the White House on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington DC as Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Sen. Chuck Schumer stood and applauded.
They were dancing over the news that the American Psychological Association had recently declared “traditional masculinity” toxic.
“I always knew traditional masculinity was toxic,” Capote’s ghost lisped, “I just knew it.”
“I knew it too,” Liberace’s ghost lisped back.
“I knew it before you did,” Capote lisped higher.
“No, you didn’t,” Liberace lisped higher still.
“Yes, I did,” Capote lisped higher and higher.
Soon both ghosts were involved in a psychedelically coloured bathrobe catfight as each man used their immaculately manicured ghostly fingernails to try to scratch the other.
They later did the same in a Washington DC deli fighting over the last piece of quiche pie.
In the days before non-toxic masculine ghosts were freed from Hel.
. . .
Renfield R. Renfield stood facing reporters on the steps of the Westminster Parliament in London where his plans alongside British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn to defeat Theresa May’s government on a non-confidence motion had gone up in smoke just as a Japanese Buddhist dragon with 11 faces and 1000 arms flew by while roasting marshmallows with his mouth.
“The vast majority of Members of Parliament have spoken,” Renfield stated and then added, “The bastards.”
Renfield was asked by a reporter about the growing influence of the #MeToo Movement and the MP answered thus, “The #MeToo Movement have metamorphosed into modern day disciples of the ancient Anatolian Phrygian mother goddess Cybele whose purpose is to make eunuchs of every single male on earth or at least subject them to a high degree of wussification, pansyfication and sissyfication.”
A psychologist member of the American Psychological Association who was standing nearby remarked that Renfield was a good example of traditional masculinity being toxic.
Renfield (who had a license to kill like James Bond 007) pulled out a gun and shot and killed the psychologist on the spot.
Later Renfield’s friend Amadeus Emanon when he heard the news remarked, “Well I guess Renfield’s masculinity did turn out to be toxic for that particular American psychologist.”
“Fatally so,” Amadeus’ girlfriend Angelique Dumont added.
A Gillette ad created by Dracul Van Helsing 9 years ago attacking cheating heart masculinity back in the days when real men still created ads for Gillette.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 16th
2019.
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