Renfield Encounters Nazi Gestapo Canadian Police At Grace Life Church In Spruce Grove Alberta
British MP Renfield R. Renfield flew across the Pacific Ocean from Xi Jinping’s Communist China to Justin Trudeau’s Communist Canada in the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s invisible dirigible airship The Claude Rains and Lamont Cranston Project One.
He’d be making a few stops in North America before heading out across the Atlantic back to Boris Johnson’s increasingly zombie nosferatu Britain.
His first stop was at the Grace Life Church in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada which last week was raided and closed by Nazi Gestapo members of the RCMP who put up a fence around the building and property blocking access to the pastors and congregation.
When last Sunday supporters of Grace Life Church and supporters of religious liberty and freedom to worship gathered outside the fenced enclave, a task force made up of 200 armed and psycho stormtroopers of a Nazi Gestapo joint unit of RCMP and Edmonton Police Service entered the premises.
The head of the task force was codenamed Himmler Zimmer.
Which was all right as far as he was concerned.
Since he was a big fan of Nazi SS head Heinrich Himmler.
Just as the Church in 1933-45 Germany was required to worship Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler in precedence over Jesus Christ, so the Church in 2020-2021 Canada and possibly into the Great Reset beyond was required to worship the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Covid-19 virus in precedence over Jesus Christ.
Churches and congregations who refused were to be crushed with the full armed might of the state with their pastors jailed and congregational members persecuted.
Himmler Zimmer went and relieved himself at what was the former altar of the now closed church.
When he returned to his office (formerly the pastor’s office) he was shocked to see a stranger sitting at his desk (formerly the pastor’s desk).
“Who the Hell are you?” Himmler Zimmer demanded to know.
The stranger kicked Zimmer in the balls and answered, “The name is Renfield. Renfield R. … Renfield.”
Zimmer got up off the floor rubbing his small testicles and said, “Aren’t you that British MP who’s the epitome of political incorrectness?”.
“I am,” Renfield nodded and helped himself to Himmler Zimmer’s last 3 dozen Tim Horton’s donuts from a box of 3 dozen Tim Horton’s donuts.
Himmler Zimmer’s cloudy expression clouded over even more when he saw his donuts being eaten.
“How did the Hell did you manage to enter these premises without being seen?” Zimmer demanded to know.
“I flew over and entered in an invisible dirigible airship,” Renfield poured a dozen creams and a dozen cartons of sugar into Himmler Zimmer’s large pot of coffee and drank it all.
Himmler Zimmer’s increasingly cloudy expression clouded over even more when he saw his entire pot of coffee drunken.
“Well, you’ll have a lot of trouble leaving,” Zimmer grinned fiendishly.
“I think not,” Renfield licked all the icing off his donut laced fingers leaving a raised middle finger in Himmler Zimmer’s direction, “I have my personal British Army Brigade of Gurkhas with me. They move so swiftly and so stealthily, one would almost think them invisible.”
“I find that very hard to believe,” Zimmer laughed.
He suddenly gasped.
For within seconds, he found that his pants had been pulled down and he was now wearing women’s panties.
A police sargeant entered his office and saluted, “Commander Zimmer. All of the members of this Nazi Gestapo Police Task Force have had their pants pulled down and have now ended up wearing women’s panties.”
The phone on the desk rang.
Renfield handed him the receiver.
“I imagine it’s probably for you,” Renfield began eating a BLT sandwich.
“Yes Cpl. Dan-o, what is it?” Zimmer asked.
“Commander Zimmer,” Cpl. Dan-o’s panicked voice could be heard, “All of the bull dyke lesbian blowhard members of this Nazi Gestapo Task Force have suddenly found themselves wearing women’s panties. They’re wondering if this is intended as a personal insult against the members of the LGBTQ2s+ (and further letters and numbers and signs and counting coming soon to a bastion of annoying political correctness near you) community. They’re already bellowing and mooing their anger in the background.”
Sounds of angry bellowing and mooing could be heard in the background.
“Boxer shorts them, Dan-o,” Himmler Zimmer ordered and slammed the phone down.
He looked at his chair (formerly the pastor’s chair).
He noticed that Renfield was missing.
And so was his last BLT sandwich.
An invisible airship dirigible was now headed towards the Alberta-Saskatchewan border.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 14th
2021
Mei-ling Manchu and A Clockwork Orange
British MP Renfield R. Renfield had met vampiress Mei-ling Manchu yesterday at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. And B. (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing, China.
There Renfield had given Mei-ling Manchu the bomb that Set Enterprises’ chief acientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher had invented and designed to kill Communist China’s paramount leader Xi Jinping.
The bomb was called A Clockwork Orange and it was a cuckoo clock made out of mandarin oranges.
When the orange clock timed and chimed the hour, a cuckoo bird bearing the head of Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau emerged from the top part of the clock and said “Cuckoo! Cuckoo!”.
The bottom sides of the cuckoo clock would open immediately afterwards and a medieval knight who looked like a young Malcolm McDowell (as the British actor would have looked in about 1971) would then chase a figure of the despotic Holy Roman Emperor Frederick II around until he finally beheaded him.
When this happened, the cuckoo bird with Justin Trudeau’s head would emerge from the top part of the clock for one final “Cuckoo!” before Justin’s head would fall on to the track below where a train blowing “Choo! Choo!” would run over his head.
The whole complex scenario with cast of characters would be played all over again an hour later when the orange clock timed and chimed the next hour.
The idea and inspiration for the clock had come from the dazzling imagination of Renfield R. Renfield himself although the mechanisms for the clock (made out of a particularly hard variety of Dr. Cadbury Rocher developed mandarin oranges) were made by Dr. Rocher.
The Clockwork Orange device itself had been fitted with an unusual tracking mechanism designed to detect the particular individual DNA of Xi Jinping himself within a distance of one foot.
The device would then go off as a bomb killing Xi instantly.
In the meantime, other people could enjoy the splendid mechanisms and unique mechanical performances hour upon the hour of the Clockwork Orange contraption until such time as it wound up in the presence of Xi.
Then it would be like that old 1960s TV commercial for a now defunct brand of toilet paper called Zee in which children’s voices at the end of the commercial said, “Mommy, there’s no more Zee.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 13th
2021.
Mei-ling Manchu At The Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B In Beijing
Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B in Beijing
Vampiress Mei-ling Manchu was waiting outside the Green Dragon and Shamrock B and B (Bed and Breakfast) in Beijing.
Mei-ling Manchu had once been a loyal follower of the CCP (Chinese Communist Party).
But during the last decade she had come to realize that the CCP had only increasd misery not alleviated it.
For the real purpose of the CCP had been, like that of Communist parties everywhere, to crush the human soul.
Having once been a dialectical materialist, she had not believed in the existence of the human soul.
But in the dissidents she had occasionally met over the years, those dissidents who had stood up against the CCP regime in Beijing, she had come to realize that the human soul and the human spirit did exist in those dissidents.
Those who continued to follow the regime, followed its despotic decrees day by day and meekly accepted the CCP’s diabolic Social Credit score were allowing their souls day by day to die little by little.
Until one day their souls were no more.
And they were just human fleshed cogs in a CCP machine who’d one day be replaced by robot cogs in the machine as the Transhumanism of the new Xi Jinping inspired CCP Transhumanism and the Transhumanism of the western globalist technocratic Fascism of the capitalist West merged into one.
What was killing the souls of the once great Chinese people was now killing the souls of people across the globe.
For lockdowns and isolation and the creation of a two-tiered system of people via vaccine passports was spreading throughout the world.
And most did not resist.
For their souls had been killed by the diabolical dialectic materialism of monopolistic capitalism with its greed and avarice (what Saint Paul had dubbed “the love of money” which the Apostle had further noted was “the root of all evil”).
Like Esau in the Bible who had sold his inheritance for a bowl of pottage, so the peoples of the West had sold their inheritance (their souls) for a bowl of pottage (whatever little bits of slop their globalist technocratic masters threw at them as long as they kept on their masks, practiced their social distancing and continued their OCD continuous handwashing).
The Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. in Beijing was owned by Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun.
He had been granted permission to open this B. and B. by Chinese Premier Chou En-lai back in the early 1970s.
As David Cheung the owner of Edmonton’s Pearl River Restaurant had once told a young University student (today a Calgary based geopolitical analyst friend of Renfield) that when Chou died “the people of China wept both in public and in private but when Mao died they wept in public but not in private”).
The inference being that Chou did have the interests of the Chinese people at heart even though he had mistakenly chosen the philosophy of Marxism-Leninism to bring about a better society.
While Mao did not have the interests of the Chinese people at heart.
He was a megalomaniac who craved power for power’s sake.
Just like today Xi Jinping was a 2nd Mao Tse-tung.
Chou and Yaldabaoth had once made their own recipe a Peking Duck Irish Stew together and Chou had let Yaldabaoth have this property as his reward.
And today Mei-ling Manchu was meeting British MP Renfield R. Renfield at the Green Dragon and Shamrock B. and B. to put the final touches on their plan to kill Xi Jinping.
Renfield, who had disappeared from public sight in Britain last week, had in fact been flying the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s invisible dirigible airship The Claude Rains and Lamont Cranston Project One over to China.
Renfield and Mei-ling greeted one another with a hug and a kiss and then went into the B. and B.
“Mei-ling,” Renfield inquired, “Sherrielock Holmes was telling me about anassignment she had once done for Britain’s MI-6. The matter apparently involved then California U.S. Republican Senatorial candidate Richard M. Nixon and yourself. She had hired a Los Angeles private eye Carson Cody Albion to see what was going on. Apparently Albion discovered that you had failed in your attempt to seduce Nixon.”
“I did not fail,” Mei-ling said, “It turns out that Nixon, despite his many faults, was at least loyal and faithful to his wife which is not true of most male politicians of whatever political stripe in the U.S.A.”.
“So you got nothing out of your encounter?” Renfield sipped his cup of green tea.
“I did hypnotize him with a Ming dynasty pocket watch- the first pocket watch ever invented,” Mei-ling noted, “I said whenever he heard a German wearing glasses singing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories, then he was to open up diplomatic relations with the government of the People’s Republic of China. One of our operatives Ho Babylon Minh hypnotized Dr. Henry Kissinger via use of a blow job to sing the Bob Hope song Thanks For The Memories at a White House gala in early 1971. That set everything in motion. Nixon in a live TV address on July 15th 1971 announced that he would be visiting the People’s Republic of China.”
As Mei-ling Manchu tossed a 1000-Year-Old egg into a nearby garbage can, Renfield wondered to himself, “I wonder who got the best end of the stick? Nixon or Kissinger?”.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 12th
2021.
Just Another Day In Paradise
“I didn’t expect you to be back so soon,” the woman smiled at Carson Cody Albion Private Eye as she sat on the stairs leading up to his apartment.
The year was 1950.
“Do I know you?”
Albion inquired
After the woman greeted him on the stairs.
“Sadly, we’ve never met before,” the woman continued to smile at him.
“Are you a widow?” Albion asked her, “I notice you’re wearing a black dress and a black veil.”
“I am wearing what you say,” she continued to smile, “But I’m also wearing white flowers in my hair.”
“And wearing a smile,” Albion noted.
“That too,” the woman laughed.
“So you’re not a recent widow?” Albion asked.
“I am a recent widow,” the woman nodded, “but only in the stage play I’m acting in. I murdered my husband. I am a villainess… in the play.”
“Oh,” was Albion’s response as he rolled himself a cigarette.
“I walked direcly from the playhouse to here without stopping to change,” the woman explained.
“And who are you in real life?” Albion asked.
“My name is Sherrielock Holmes,” the woman answered.
“The name sounds familiar,” Albion lit his cigarette.
“Sherlock Holmes was my twin brother,” the woman lifted her veil and accepted a cigarette from Albion.
“But he’s dead and he’d be almost 100 if he was alive and…” Albion did not finish the sentence.
“I’m alive and I’m immortal,” the woman accepted a light.
“That explains everything,” Albion blew out the match.
“It does,” Sherrielock smiled.
“Do you wish to hire me?” Albion sat on a step below her.
“I do,” Sherrielock smiled.
“For what purpose?” Albion wanted to know.
“To investigate Richard M. Nixon,” Sherrielock answered.
“The presumed Republican Party candidate for U.S. Senator from California this year?” Albion took a bottle of bourbon from his coat pocket and took a sip.
“Yes,” Sherrielock nodded.
“Why?” Albion wanted to know.
“To see why Mei-ling Manchu is interested in him,” Sherrielock raised the hem of her skirt.
“Mei-ling Manchu?” Albion blew smoke rings.
“She’s a vampiress and a member of the CCP,” Sherrielock stated.
“CCP?” Albion was quizzical.
“Chinese Communist Party,” Sherrielock smiled, “Not Coca-Cola Playtime.”
“That’s good,” Albion raised his fedora, “Because I hear Nixon drinks Pepsi.”
“And here I was going to offer Tahiti Treat,” Sherrielock laughed.
“What’s Tahiti Treat?” Albion wasn’t familiar with that beverage.
“Well,” Sherrielock spoke breathlessly, “Why don’t we go up to your apartment and I’ll show you?”.
“Now there’s an offer I can’t refuse,” said Albion.
A young actor named Marlon Brando cast a glance up the stairwell.
Now there was a line he’d like to be able to use someday or a line like it.
-A Carson Cody Albion narrative poem
and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Sunday April 11th
2021.
An Intersection of Time
The year was 1929.
The bride was waiting for the wedding to begin.
She looked behind her.
And noticed one of the candles had burnt out.
Was this an omen she wondered?
Was she making the right decision?
Was her life about to become like that burnt out candle?
2021.
Amadeus Emanon was standing on the stage of an empty nightclub.
The nightclub was closed due to Boris Johnson’s lockdown.
But Amadeus felt at his best when performing on a stage.
He may not be able to sing to people in the club.
But he felt he was able to sing to ghosts.
The ghosts of the past.
The ghosts of the present.
And the ghosts of the future.
The ghosts of the present.
People alone and isolated.
And fading away
Under an iron curtain
That had descended all across the globe.
The ghosts of the future
If there was a future
Those whose anguished cries could not reach the present
As the darkness fell
And everything was void
and waiting for that moment
Of the spoken Word,
“Let there be light.”
Ghosts of the past.
In a distant theatre box
Amadeus saw a woman in silhoutte
A bride
Looking back at a burnt out candle
Silent
Apprehensive
As if she was looking at an omen.
Amadeus began to sing
And sang to the woman
To the bride…
Moon River, wider than a mile
I’m crossing you in style someday
Oh dream maker
You heartbreaker
Where ever you’re going I’m going your way
Two drifters off to see the world
There’s such a lot of world to see
We’re after the same rainbow’s end
Waiting round the bend
My huckleberry friend
Moon River and me.
Amadeus lowered his head
The song was finished
The spot light was fading
And it was as if the singer
Was waiting for the applause
That never came.
The bride listened
She had never heard the song
And probably would not again
Unless on some far off 1961 morning
She had breakfast at Tiffany’s
But the song gave her courage
And inspired her to walk down the aisle
And grasp the hand of her love
Her huckleberry friend
Two drifters off to see the world
Because
there’s such a lot of world to see
The moon came through
Shining through the stained glass window
Depicting the Jordan River
And at this nighttime service
It shone brightly
On the spot
Where the one candle had burnt out
In the far off distance
Amadeus’ voice carried through time,
“Moon River and thee.”
-A poem and vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday April 10th
2021.
The Turning Point
“So, where is your friend Renfield R. Renfield tonight?” Angelique Dumont asked her boyfriend Amadeus Emanon as he came over to her apartment.
“I was informed by Athelstan the butler at the Set Mansion this morning that Renfield has apparently decided to vanish for a few days,” Amadeus answered.
“Vanish?” Angelique seemed perplexed.
“Yes, the number of governments and wealthy global oligarchs around the world who want to see him assassinated has really grown exponentially the past week,” Amadeus explained.
“So I take it then that Renfield won’t be attending Prince Philip’s funeral?” Angelique inquired.
“Well I understand Philip’s funeral is to be a small affair at the Duke of Edinburgh’s own personal request plus Covid restrictions are in place,” Amadeus was eating a Worcestershire sauce laced grilled cheese sandwich, “Plus I don’t think Renfield would have really been invited anyways.”
“Prince Philip didn’t like Renfield?” Angelique Dumont put honey in her tea.
“I don’t think Philip knew Renfield very well,” Amadeus pointed out, “But Prince Philip’s eldest son Charles Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall certainly doesn’t like Renfield very well.”
“Why doesn’t Prince Charles like Renfield?” Angelique wanted to know.
“Well, because a few years ago, Charles was only standing a few feet away from Renfield when Renfield said to someone else that in his opinion Charles’ 2nd wife Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall looked like a horse,” Amadeus sipped a ginger beer.
“That would explain the Prince of Wales and Duke of Cornwall Charles’ dislike of Renfield,” Angelique admitted.
“The next day, Renfield did issue an apology… to horses,” Amadeus recalled, “but even that didn’t quite cut the mustard with Prince Charles.”
“I should say not,” Angelique shook her head, “But I think Her Majesty the Queen likes Renfield does she not?”.
“Yes,” Amadeus nodded, “Because Renfield once saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool.”
. . .
“Who’s this Prince Philip guy?” American President Joe Biden asked one of his aides, “Is he the fellow who made Philips Electric Shavers?”.
“No, Mr. President,” The aide wore a t-shirt that said I’M WITH STUPID with an arrow pointing in Biden’s direction, “He was the Prince Consort of the Queen of England.”
“Victoria?” Biden reached for a glass of water to take his Geritol pills.
“That was Prince Albert,” his aide sounded exasperated, “And Victoria was queen for the most part of two centuries ago.”
“Who’s the current Queen?” Biden inquired.
“Are you referring to the Sovereign of Great Britain or your recent appointment to the position of Assistant Secretary of Health and Human Services?” His aide wanted to know.
Biden scratched his head at that one.
. . .
After administering a severe spanking to Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing for being late to their meeting, the Norse Goddess Freya went to a corner of the room and stood looking at him.
“So did you find out if it’s true that my son Thor has formed an alliance with Loki?” Freya asked.
“It’s true,” Dracul Van Helsing lit a cigarette and poured himself a glass of bourbon.
“But such an alliance was not foreseen in the Poetic Edda or Prose Edda?” Freya pointed out.
“That’s true as well,” Van Helsing nodded, “Anyhow Thor and Loki have formed an alliance with Osiris and Horus to bring about a Great Reset New World Order. That idiotic English language mantra Build Back Better is being translated into ancient Norse and ancient Egyptian even as we speak.”
“This is depressing news,” Freya sighed, “I need a conjugal encounter right now to get rid of my depression.”
“So do I,” Van Helsing confessed.
They were soon on the bed in the apartment making out with one another.
The ghost of Orson Welles walked in at that moment.
“Not again,” Welles’ ghost went back into the hall.
A Norwegian otter carrying a notepad and a pencil asked Welles if he knew the ancient Norse word for Google.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday April 9th
2021.
Little Noticed Russian Ministry of Health Statement
Another BBC News announcer had been shot and killed in the intermittent
warfare going on in the BBC news room between Neo-Stalinist Neo-Bolshevik Communists and Neo-Trotskyite Neo-Bolshevik Communists.
If Chief Inspector Brackenreid of Murdoch Mysteries was alive today and even more importantly not a fictional character, he might put it this way, “It’s what Eric “Bloody” Blair wrote about in the Spanish Civil War all over again. The reason the Republican side lost the Spanish Civil War.”
Stalinist Republicans and Trotskyite Republicans spending more time killing one another than killing Gen. Franco’s Nationalists.
As such, British MP Renfield R. Renfield was stepping in once again to read the BBC News on behalf of yet another recently deceased announcer.
Adding his own personal flourish and commentary.
Said Renfield, “The interior of the 13th Century Gothic Saint Nicolas Collegiate Church in Avesnes-sur-Help, northern France, which sports a 60 metre tower, was destroyed by an April 5th fire. The building’s structure was not damaged although a historic altarpiece was lost in the flames.
Police took a man into custody who was seen on surveillance camera as the last person leaving the church before the fire broke out.
No word yet on whether the perpetrator was a mentally unhinged sex addict, a Muslim extremist or a White Supremacist with white privileges.”
Continuing on, Renfield read, “In other news, Archbishop Michel Aupetit of Paris had an escargot and cheese fondue cream pie thrown in his face by an invisible entity. Although a Harvey Wallbanger drinking altar boy claims that the perpetrator was a 6 foot 8 tall purple coloured bunny rabbit with big pink floppety ears.
The escargot and cheese fondue cream pieing took place a day after Archbishop Michel Aupetit had launched canonical proceedings against the traditionalist Tridentine Latin Mass priest Father Marc Guelfucci the parish priest of St. Eugene et St. Cecile Church in Paris for not worshipping the Holy, Blessed and Eternal Virus Scamdemic during last weekend’s Holy Saturday Easter Eve vigil.”
Meanwhile American President Joe Biden, who had tripped and fallen 72 times during his walk from the Oval Office door to his Oval Office desk, asked one of his aides, “What’s this Poseidon 2M39 torpedo?”.
His aide replied, “It’s Russia’s new superweapon. An unmanned stealth torpedo that can evade coastal defences by travelling along the sea floor.”
“Do we have one of those?” Biden asked as his fingers fell 33 times on his desk trying to reach for a pen.
“No, it’s like the Keystone Pipeline,” his aide answered, “Environmentally unsafe.”
“Good thing we don’t have it then,” Biden inhaled his marijuana pot smoking desert cactus plant Sweet Dementia’s exhaled cactus pot smoke.
And while all this was happening, Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was talking to Peter Whitstable (the man they call the Fox Mulder of Interpol) via Skype.
“Did you hear about the Russian Ministry of Health Report released today?” Whitstable asked.
“No, what did it say?” Van Helsing inquired.
“Well, Russia acted against WHO regulations and dissected a group of Covid-19 patients,” Whitstable pointed out.
“Wait, are you saying WHO doesn’t allow autopsies to be performed on people who are supposed to have died from Covid-19?” Van Helsing wanted to know.
“That’s right,” Whitstable nodded.
“Then how do they know they actually died from Covid-19?” Van Helsing asked.
Whitstable shrugged, “Anyways, they discovered that those people they dissected didn’t die from a virus. They died from extended radiation poisoned bacteria.”
“Extended radiation poisoned bacteria?” Van Helsing had never even heard of such a dystopian sci-fi term, “That sounds like something produced in a Xi Jinping approved CCP science experiment.”
“Which is probably what it is,” Whitstable admitted, “Anyways these extended radiation poisoned bacteria lead to the formation of blood clots in veins and nerves. Anyways with these blood clots in the veins and nerves, the brain, lungs and heart cannot properly oxygenate which makes it difficult for people to breathe and people die quickly with lack of breathing energy.”
“Would this phenomenon be true of all Covid-19 patients?” Van Helsing asked, “And isn’t bacteria dfferent from a virus? And if the Russian autopsies (which the CCP stooge and puppet Dr. Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus asked people not to perform) are accurate, it sounds like what we’re dealing with here is definitely a man-made phenomenon and not some disease caused by a virus jumping from one species to another.”
“That would be my conclusion as well,” Whitstable nodded.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday April 8th
2021.
Hitler’s Nazi Gestapo Are Alive and Well and Living In Police In The Canadian Province of Alberta
“Rebellion against tyrants is obedience to God.”
-The Fathers of the American Revolution.
“It is morally imperative upon people across the globe today to remember the words of the Fathers of the American Revolution.”
-Renfield R. Renfield MP
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a rare Wednesday evening podcast.
And that was because of the developing political situation on the ground in the Canadian province of Alberta.
Sipping from a bottle of Alberta Crystal Clear Pure Vodka, Renfield said,
“The Antichrist RCMP in the Canadian province of Alberta have shown themselves to be the wholehearted ardent disciples of the emerging Antichrist New World Order by raiding Grace Life Church an Evangelical Protestant Church east of Edmonton the provincial capital and erecting steel barriers around it to prevent the people and pastors from entering.
As a Calgary Polish Church pastor well said of Calgary Police who were trying to close his Church this past Easter weekend, “Gestapo! Nazis! Get out!”.
For police in today’s Canadian province of Alberta are little better than the Nazi Gestapo of Hitler’s Third Reich.”
RCMP at the RCMP police station in Spruce Grove, Alberta, Canada were given a standing ovation by the demons Baal and Mephistopheles as they returned to the station after setting up steel barriers around Grace Life Church on the orders of AHS (Alberta Health Services which was today little more than a provincial branch of the Nazi Fascist Neo-Bolshevik Communist Hybrid New World Order known as the Great Reset and praised by the likes of Pope Francis, Justin Trudeau and Joe Biden).
Hordes of infernal demons sang of the heroic Gestapo like RCMP who returned like the conquering heroes of Norse battlefields to the halls of Valhalla, “For they’re the jolly good fellows, for they’re the jolly good fellows which nobody can deny, which nobody can deny…”
“I deny it,” said Renfield continuing his broadcast, “and backing up the Nazi Gestapo like raid on Grace Life Church by the RCMP was Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro. Alberta Health Minister Tyler Shandro is a Nazi Fascist pig who should be eliminated from the face of the earth. And I say that with all due respect.”
Tyler Shandro had returned home after a hard day of trying to build the global Fourth Reich down at the office.
He was surprised to see the ghost of Nazi Minister of Propaganda Joseph Goebbels sitting in an arm chair in his living room offering him a warm cup of Meteorite Alien Insect Pods Greyish Green Tea.
Goebbels’ ghost had been recently released from the Underworld by Hades (Greek god of the Underworld) at the request of the Great Reset globalist oligarchical backers- men like George Soros and Bill Gates and Xi Jinping’s Supernatural entity advisor the Black Dragon.
“I’ve never heard of this brand of tea before,” Shandro looked at the label on the teapot, “Meteorite Alien Insect Pods Greyish Green Tea.”
“It was prophetically foreseen on a Halloween Night episode of the CBC program Murdoch Mysteries a few years back,” Goebbels’ ghost commented as he sipped on a spectral ghostly variant of the tea (which went into the making of the various new variants of Covid-19 made in various labs and released in various places across the planet the past few months), “it turned people who drank it into aliens. On that episode of Murdoch Mysteries, people down at Police Station House No. 4 drank it and became aliens and it soon spread across the entire city of Toronto. People became aliens and ceased being human. Constable George Crabtree was the last resister at Police Station House No. 4 and even he succumbed. And soon all were aliens.”
“So Torontonians became non-human aliens and now you want Albertans to become the same starting with me?” Tyler Shandro inquired.
“Exactly,” Goebbels’ ghost grinned, “You already were one of the biggest twits in Fascist fat slob Premier Jason Kenney’s cabinet (which is saying a lot) and so you were pretty well on your way there to becoming a non-human alien anyways. This will just finally tip you over the edge.”
“Okay,” Shandro drank the tea and a female zombie nosferatu entered the room and bit him on the lips and sucked the life out of him filling his body with unhatched alien insect pods from meteorites.
Norse goddess Freya appearing as a guest on Renfield R. Renfield’s podcast: Advises people to beware of zombie nosferatu and of drinking Meteorite Alien Insect Pods Greyish Green Tea
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday April 7th
2021.
The Edge of Darkness
Amadeus Emanon had watched the evening news before heading to Saint Genevieve’s Anglo-Catholic Church C. Of E. Parish (that he attended) to take part in the Easter Tuesday evening service.
On the news, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson told a group of people that his government would be introducing a vaccine passport.
Shortly after making the announcement, a malt vinegar laced fish and chips cream pie was thrown in Boris Johnson’s face by an invisible entity.
Although a London bobby (who had been imbibing too many Harvey Wallbangers that afternoon) swore that it was a 6 foot 8 tall bunny rabbit (purple in colour with big pink floppety ears) who had thrown the cream pie in Johnson’s face.
“Harvey Tallbanger certainly has his work cut out for him these days,” Amadeus thought as he walked to Saint Genevieve’s.
Upon arriving at the Church, he noticed Fascist members of Fascist female Police Commissioner Cressida Dick’s Metropolitan London Police Service standing outside looking glum and constipated at the fact that the Church was open.
This was interfering with the plans of the Great Reset global oligarchy to bring forth the Antichrist.
Amadeus entered the Church where the service was said by one of the Church of England’s leading exorcists the Rev. Fr. Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds who also happened to be the parish Vicar.
As he sat down, two elderly ladies in front of him were whispering to one another, “I see the Saudi Royal Family is joining with Pope Francis and Boris Johnson to bring forth the Antichrist and his Mark of the Beast global vaccine passport by saying that only those who have been vaccinated twice with the vaccine will be allowed to go on pilgrimage to Mecca and Medina.”
“The Devil is everywhere,” the other lady whispered.
A Metropolitan London policeman who had stuck his head in through the door retreated when the woman made her remark.
The service then started.
During the sermon Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds announced, “Hans Kung the dissident Swiss Catholic theologian, whose writings were censured by the Vatican under Pope John Paul II and CDF (Congregation For The Doctrine of The Faith) head Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, has died today at the age of 93. Let us pray that he repented of his sins and errors and embraced the true Catholic Christian Faith before he died so he won’t spend all of Eternity languishing in eternal Hellfire.”
“Amen,” said Amadeus Emanon and the two ladies sitting in front of him.
. . .
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was taking Miss Sherrielock Holmes’ orange tabby cat Mr. Truffles for a walk as Sherrielock would be busy at work tonight.
Renfield sat down on a bench and started to recite Edward Lear’s poem The Owl and The Pussycat to Mr. Truffles.
Suddenly a gunshot came out of nowhere and almost hit Mr. Truffles.
Renfield chased after the assailant and brought him down tying him up.
Later in the interrogation dungeon of the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s West London mansion, Renfield questioned the assailant.
“I’m a Neo-Bolshevik Communist,” said the man proudly.
“Who do you work for?” Renfield inquired.
“The American FBI,” answered the man.
The answer did not surprise Renfield as today’s FBI and CIA were positively crawling with Neo-Bolshevik Communists.
“Why did you try to kill Mr. Truffles?” Renfield asked.
“I didn’t,” the FBI agent replied, “I was trying to kill you but I was startled by a jack rabbit and I misfired.”
“Like this jack rabbit?” Renfield showed the FBI agent a photo of Jack O’ Hare a wild hare jack rabbit who used to live in the back yard of a geopolitical analyst friend of his.
“That’s the one,” the FBI agent nodded.
“Well done, Jack,” Renfield called out the dungeon window.
Jack O’ Hare perked up his ears and British actor David Jason said “Thanks” as he walked by.
“Why did you want to kill me?” Renfield asked as he took a sip from his cup of Earl Grey tea and took a bite of cheese on toast.
“Because you’re a threat to the Neo-Bolshevik Communist Great Reset New World Order,” seethed the FBI agent.
“You’ve got a point there,” Renfield felt the FBI agent’s head in the manner of a well-known 19th Century Armenian phrenologist whose name Renfield had currently forgotten.
“I know,” the agent laughed.
“Did you know that Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II gave me a licence to kill a la James Bond 007 after I saved one of her Welsh corgis from drowning in a swimming pool?” Renfield put some butter on his slice of toast.
“I did not know that,” the FBI agent shrugged, “Why? Are you planning to kill me?”.
The FBI agent laughed uproariously.
Renfield pulled out his gun, pointed it at the man’s head, pulled the trigger and blew the man’s head off.
“Yes, in answer to your question,” Renfield put the gun back in his holster.
He got on the phone to Set Enterprises Laboratories and asked them to send over some man-eating nanorobots aka nanobots to eat the man’s body and lick up all the blood.
“The vampire Set doesn’t like his dungeon floor looking like a mess,” Renfield explained.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday April 6th
2021.
Zombie Nosferatu Major League Baseball
April 5, 2021 at 10:57 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Sports, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Renfield R. Renfield)
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing a podcast on this Monday evening.
Renfield read his script as he sipped a glass of brandy, “Antichrist worshipping Georgia senator and satanic Rev. Raphael Warnock the warlock denied the literal Resurrection of Christ in his Easter Sunday sermon.
He was denounced as a heretic by lawyer Jenna Ellis.
Blithering idiot and MSNBC resident airhead Joy Reid rushed to the apostate Rev. Warnock’s defense.
Snivelling to Jenna Ellis in an airheaded tweet, “Madame, I’m gonna take Rev. Warnock’s word as a Pastor and a scholar on the Word over yours, if you don’t mind” pointing out that Rev. Warnock is the senior pastor of the late Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s former church.
Ignoring the fact that the terms “Scholar” and “Democratic Party politician” are mutually exclusive of one another, the fact that Rev. Warnock the warlock is senior pastor of Martin Luther King Jr.’s Church doesn’t mean dick (and we’re not talking Cressida the Fascist female police commissioner of the Metropolitan London Police Service here).
Saint Peter once called Jesus “the Christ, the Son of the Living God” and today we have sitting on the Throne of Peter someone who once told an Italian journalist back in 2018 that “when Jesus became Incarnate as Man, He ceased to be God.”
Just because a Church once had an illustrious predecessor doesn’t mean that its current occupant isn’t a heretic and a twit.”
Renfield then went on to his next story.
On the screen behind him was a a photo of 8 “Night of The Living Dead” style zombies wearing 1919 Chicago White Sox uniforms and having the caption 8 Men Way Out above them and the caption Field of Nightmares below them.
“Well the latest North American professional sports league to have its brains eaten by zombies and become “woke” as a result is Major League Baseball which is going to boycott the All-Stars Professional Baseball Game in Atlanta, Georgia because the Georgia government recently passed a law making it a requirement for a voter to have valid ID in order to be able to vote in an election in Georgia.
Major League Professional Baseball, as a result of being brain dead and “woke”, has denounced the voter ID requirement law as being “racist”.
The only person stupid enough to believe that having a valid ID card in order to vote is “racist” would be a white leftist liberal.
Which explains why the white leftist liberals were in fact the first ones to come up with this absurd assertion.
White liberals (most of whom secretly believe that all blacks are stupid and are incapable of getting through life without the help of they- the white liberal self-proclaimed saviours) do not think that blacks are capable of reading and writing and filling out an application for a valid ID card on their own.
Thus to have a valid ID card in order to vote is “racist” in the white liberal’s way of thinking or rather way of NOT thinking.
And those who are non-white and agree with the white liberal’s way of NOT thinking, then judging them by the content of their character and not the colour of their skin, sad to say these people are idiots who have chosen to have their lips surgically attached to the buttocks of the corrupt, graft ridden and pedophilia promoting U.S. Democratic Party machine.
And on a final note, I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that Major League Baseball announced that it would be boycotting the All-Stars Baseball Game in Atlanta on the day right after it announced that it had signed a very lucrative financial deal for broadcast rights in Asia with the huge Communist China telecoms giant corporation TenCent (which is definitely worth an infinite amount more than 10c).
TenCent is well known for its close ties to the CCP government in Beijing.
And as we all know the CCP wants a “woke” brain dead zombie America.
Because as the Big Bad Wolf dressed as Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother might put it, “The better it is to control you, my dear.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday April 5th
2021.
Permalink 2 Comments