The Feast of The Beast 2023
Back in 1955 the Greek goddess Artemis was in possession of the silver arrow of Chiron the centaur
Attending a Chiron the Centaur exhibit at the British Museum in March 1955, the Greek goddess Artemis had the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur in her purse.
Artemis exited her vehicle to walk to the British Museum.
A female Soviet KGB agent who was a master pickpocket stole the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur.
It was taken to Moscow where it was placed in the KGB Archives but lost by one KGB Archivist Harry Wooismeovich.
For his efforts, Harry Wooismeovich was shot by firing squad under orders by Nikita Khrushchev.
Harry Wooismeovich’s last words were “Oh, who’s Winston Churchill?” in answer to a British government telegram for clemency and “Woo is me!” in answer to being shot.
The silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur was thus lost to history.
Causing the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit to face a dilemma on March 23rdrd 2023.
Every March 23rd was the Feast of The Beast for some dark magic practicing occultic secret societies.
Among the dark deities venerated by these occultic secret societies was Apophis the Egyptian god of chaos and darkness.
Once long ago in the mists of antiquity it was the case that every night Apophis would attack the solar barge of Ra the Egyptian god of light and the sun.
The Egyptian god Set would come to Ra’s aid every night and defeat Apophis.
In those days Set was considered a hero and a good guy.
He only became a villain to history after cutting up his brother Osiris into 14 pieces (even though Osiris was the Egyptian Justin Trudeau of his day and most likely deserved what he got).
Miranda Singh of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit had discovered that one dark magic occultic secret society would be sacrificing a ghost of all things on this particular Feast of the Beast.
And the ghost would be sacrificed down in Cornwall to prevent a descendant of King Arthur from rising to power on the world stage and instead allow a descendant of Mordred to rise to power on the world stage.
King Arthur had been born at Tintagel Castle in Cornwall and the sacrifice of the ghost would be performed at Tintagel Castle.
A ghostly sacrifice rather than a human sacrifice was necessary to enact a major geopolitical event.
And the ghost chosen for the Tintagel Castle Cornwall sacrifice was none other than the ghost of Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander who was a personal friend of Sherrielock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes’ quite literally immortal twin sister), Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing, British MP Renfield R. Renfield and the ghost of Orson Welles.
Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander had been waylaid in London’s Highgate Cemetery last night by Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld and a rag tag group of Breton korrigans.
The ghostly sacrifice would be performed by a demon possessed elk who had been given as a gift to Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby by the U.S. Federal Cabinet of Joe Biden in appreciation for his support of gay and transgender rights.
Apparently the only way of slaying a demon possessed elk was to kill it with a silver arrow.
After a brief meeting of the Set Enterprises Intelligence Unit in which the Rev. Father Aidan Bury Saint Edmunds (the Anglo-Catholic Vicar of St. Genevieve’s Church in West London and the Church of England’s leading exorcist who tried to exorcise Italian historian Roberto de Mattei the only known person (so far) to have become demonically possessed as a result of receiving the DeathVaxx vaccine) served as an advisor, it was agreed that the most effective way of slaying this demonically possessed elk was to use the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur.
Which was lost to history.
So Dracul Van Helsing and the ghost of Orson Welles using the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern projector went back in time to steal the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur from the Greek goddess Artemis before Nikita Khrushchev’s acclaimed pickpocket female KGB agent had the chance to do so.
Dracul saw Artemis exiting her vehicle on the night of the Chiron the Centaur Exhibit at the British Museum:
Van Helsing immediately grabbed the arrow.
Artemis said, “Dracul, how dare you steal the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur?”.
She immediately grabbed Van Helsing, took him over her knee and spanked him.
While being spanked, Dracul threw the silver arrow to the ghost of Orson Welles who went forward in time to the place of Tintagel Castle in Cornwall on the night of Thursday March 23rd 2023.
Van Helsing then made love 💕 to the Greek goddess Artemis on the large luxurious back seat of the classic 1950s era vehicle.
After goddess and vampire hunter had finished rocking the vehicle, Dracul went forward in time to Tintagel Castle in Cornwall on the night of Thursday March 23rd 2023.
He grabbed his crossbow and the silver arrow of Chiron the Centaur from the ghost of Orson Welles.
The Celtic stag god Cernunnos had already been killing with his crossbow and silver arrows various supernatural entities participating in the ceremony.
For reasons known only to himself, the Celtic stag god did not wish to see a descendant of Mordred ascend to power on the world stage.
The demon possessed elk was raising the supernatural sword 🗡️ Excalibur above the ghostly spectral salamander throat of Belvedere the Ghost White Salamander.
Both Cernunnos and Van Helsing fired their crossbows at the same time.
After a silver arrow pierced the demon possessed elk’s throat, the elk said in Latin in Shakespearian Julius Caesar like fashion, “And thou, Cernunnos? Or was it thou, Dracul?.”
Even Cernunnos’ PH Unbalanced hairstylist didn’t know for sure.
Thus it was a question/answer never asked on the Canadian-American game show ghost host Alex Trebek’s TV program Jeopardy in the Elysian Fields of the Realm of the Underworld.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 23rd
2023.
Persephone Meets Belvedere
Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld in London’s Highgate Cemetery
Persephone the Greek goddess of the Underworld was in London’s Highgate Cemetery for reasons known only to herself.
Belvedere the ghost of the Ghost White Salamander (who was a reporter for the Times of London) was walking through the cemetery.
Belvedere had once been human.
He had been a deserter from the Confederate Army during the U.S. Civil War, became an outlaw in the Wild West for many years and then worked as a bartender in the Wild West saloon known as the Wild Tomatoes 🍅 and Mushrooms Saloon.
The saloon had been owned by Sherrielock Holmes (Sherlock Holmes’ twin sister who became immortal after eating some Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms) when she lived in the American Wild West.
One night Belvedere had slept with a working girl who had a room in the saloon.
He refused to pay her for her services.
It turned out she was a gypsy enchantress as well so she turned Belvedere into a Ghost White Salamander (of the sort that reveals itself to Mormon Church founder Joseph Smith Jr. in Smith’s first and original telling of the find of the Golden Tablets. Later the Ghost White Salamander became Jesus Christ and then God the Father and Jesus Christ and then finally the angel Moroni in Smith’s subsequent retellings of the story).
Having become a Ghost White Salamander, Belvedere quickly ran out into the street outside the saloon where he was promptly run over by a settlers’ covered wagon heading west and thus ended up becoming the ghost of a Ghost White Salamander.
After a long and varied ghostly haunting of this planet Earth, Belvedere was now a reporter for The Times of London.
He was currently wandering through London’s Highgate Cemetery.
He thought of finding where Karl Marx was buried.
He looked around and saw a bunch of Crosses on gravestones and deduced he must be in the Christian part of Highgate Cemetery.
It was highly unlikely that a Jewish publicly proclaimed atheist who privately wrote love poems to the Devil whom he called Oulanem (which was a 19th Century occultic secret society name for the Devil) like Karl Marx would be buried in the Christian portion of Highgate Cemetery.
Belvedere was walking along on his tiny white spectral ghostly amphibian legs when he suddenly saw the Greek goddess Persephone in the clearing.
There was a full moon behind her.
Belvedere checked his calendar on his ghostly miniature spectral Apple Watch ⌚️.
He didn’t think there was supposed to be a full moon 🌕 tonight and indeed there wasn’t supposed to be.
It was supposed to be the start of the Islamic month of Ramadan after all.
Persephone smiled at him.
“Belvedere,” she said to him and then zapped him with a laser ray that shot out of the long black fingernail on the middle finger of her left hand.
The ghost of the Ghost White Salamander was knocked unconscious.
Persephone directed some Breton korrigans to pick up up the ghostly spectral body of the Ghost White Salamander and carry him to Cornwall.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 22nd
2023.
Charlotte Rose
Charlotte Rose arrives back in Britain aboard The Carpathia after visiting an aunt in Canada
The year was 1905 and Charlotte Rose Heywood-Williams was returning to Britain after visiting an aunt who lived in Nova Scotia.
What Charlotte Rose was unaware of as she picked up her luggage 🧳 on the deck of The Carpathia was that one of her male cousins had hidden a map 🗺️ with the exact location of the famous Oak Island treasure in her suitcase.
Of course Charlotte Rose was unaware of the map.
She just thought it a musty old document and put it in one of the drawers of her bedroom.
Being an only child, she eventually inherited the house from her parents.
She never married and served as a nurse with the British Army during the Great War (later known as World War I or the First World War after Adolf Hitler’s Germany and Hideki Tojo’s Japan started World War II).
The camp she was in came under German bombardment in July 1917 and she was killed along with several others of her medical unit as well as patients.
Her cousin (who had put the map in her suitcase 🧳) had died in 1906 and thus had never shown up to claim the map that he had hid.
Her cousin Edward Sorwind was a bit of a rake (to put it mildly).
In addition to having stolen the Oak Island treasure map 🗺️ from the town teacher, he was also a notorious person with the ladies.
Since some in the town suspected he had stolen the schoolteacher’s map for the Oak Island treasure, he hid the map in his cousin Charlotte Rose’s luggage when she was to return to England 🏴.
Edward thought that he would someday go to England and retrieve the map on his own.
However when he slept with a married woman in town and her husband had discovered them in bed together and after her husband shot Edward several times through the chest with his hunting rifle, Sorwind was in no condition for the long voyage to England (being dead, buried and currently roasting away in Tartarus and all that).
After Charlotte Rose Heywood-Williams died as a casualty in the First World War, a lightning strike struck her house a few months later causing the roof to catch fire 🔥 and the house was burnt to the ground, forever destroying the 🗺️ map to the exact location of the Oak Island treasure.
The fact that Charlotte Rose had the Oak Island treasure map 🗺️ in her possession had forever been lost to history.
Until King Charles III decided to invite a spiritist medium to the palace to contact the spirit of his late mother Queen Elizabeth II in total violation of Deuteronomy Chapter 18 verses 10 to 14 and its warnings and precepts.
Charles was wanting to talk to “Mummy” for some advice.
Paddington Bear advised him against it.
His wife Queen Consort Camilla advised against it.
Gavin Ashenden a former Chaplain to his mother who later became a bishop and then joined the Catholic Church Ordinariate of Our Lady of Walsingham advised against it.
However Archbishop Justin Welby (who had as his spirit advisor the ghost of the late U.S. Episcopalian Bishop James Albert Pike who had somehow miraculously managed to get a dispensation to leave the Underworld by permission of Hades and Persephone) told Charles III to go full speed ahead with the seance.
Instead of his mother showing up, it was the ghost of the notorious and now long forgotten Nova Scotia rake Edward Sorwind.
Sorwind told Charles of the long lost Oak Island treasure map 🗺️ and how he had hidden it in his cousin Miss Charlotte Rose Heywood-Williams’ suitcase before she boarded The Carpathia for England 🏴 in 1905.
An immediately Royal ordered Special Branch investigation of the matter discovered that Charlotte Rose had been killed in July 1917 and her house destroyed by fire a few months later.
So Charles sighed and Paddington Bear told him, “Nothing good can come of this, Your Majesty.”
Indeed not for the palace had been bugged by sinister forces loyal to the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe Occult Bureau vampire Franz Kohler.
Kohler used a contact at the CERN Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland to time travel on occasion when the proper cosmic energies of the Universe were correctly in place in an effort for the Nazi SS Ahnenerbe vampire to alter the course of history.
Time and again however Kohler had been foiled by Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing who used the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern projector to time travel.
Van Helsing was usually accompanied in his time travels by the ghost of Orson Welles.
Welles had been one of those who helped invent the time travel device.
The device had originally been worked on as a joint collaboration between Serbian-American scientist Nikola Tesla and the Hungarian-American magician Harry Houdini beginning in 1923 (100 years ago this year).
It was initially financed by the Greek American vaudeville impresario and early motion picture producer and cinema and theatre chain owner Alexander Pantages.
The project was put on hold after Houdini’s death in 1926.
Orson Welles began putting his finishing touches on the would-be time travelling magic lantern projector in 1938.
Finally in 1941 the great Austrian-American actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr (the woman responsible for inventing the wireless radio technology for the U.S. Navy that became the basis of WiFi and Bluetooth) finished the device and then hid it for fear it would fall into Nazi hands.
When the ghosts of Orson Welles and Sir Winston Churchill were granted dispensational releases from the Underworld by Hades and Persephone in the spring of 2017 so they could serve as spirit advisors to newly elected British MP Renfield R. Renfield, Welles’ ghost led Dracul Van Helsing to find the old projector in an old Hollywood movie theatre where it had been placed in the film projectionist’s room back in 1947.
Anyways Franz Kohler decided to go back in time and steal the Oak Island treasure map 🗺️ as Charlotte Rose Heywood-Williams arrived in England aboard The Carpathia in 1905.
As Franz Kohler stood at the dock, to his surprise he found himself being staked through the heart and then beheaded by Dracul Van Helsing.
Van Helsing walked on.
Welles’ ghost hoped that Kohler would remain dead this time.
The Norse trickster god Loki usually managed to find a way to bring back Kohler from the dead thus sending the evil Kohler on more nefarious missions.
Van Helsing walked aboard the deck of The Carpathia where he saw Miss Charlotte Rose.
Van Helsing approached wearing the uniform of a British Customs officer of the Edwardian Era.
“May I please inspect your luggage, Miss?” Van Helsing asked.
The vampire hunter was very gentle in inspecting the contents of the suitcases 🧳 although he did pocket the Oak Island treasure map 🗺️ that had been put there by Charlotte Rose’s cousin Edward Sorwind.
Van Helsing did not tell the young Miss Charlotte Rose what would happen to her.
As the great American country music singer Garth Brooks once sang in his song The Dance,
“… I’m glad I didn’t know
The way it all would end
The way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I’d have had to miss the dance… 💃 🕺 “
of life.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 21st
2023.
Aphrodite Spanks


The Greek goddess Aphrodite
Yaldabaoth the Irish leprechaun 🍀 had just stolen a bottle of ambrosia on Mount Olympus.
Of course the leprechaun ☘️ was already immortal.
He just liked drinking ambrosia for the taste.
After knocking out Ganymede (male cupbearer to the gods of Olympus) with a sleeping potion and getting his friend Dracul Van Helsing to make out with Hebe (female cupbearer to the gods) to distract her, the little leprechaun 🍀 ☘️ helped himself to a bottle of ambrosia from the Mount Olympus cupboard.
As he walked by Aphrodite’s room, he saw her looking like this:
So naturally he entered.
“You little thief,” Aphrodite said to the leprechaun 🍀 ☘️ when she noticed the bottle of ambrosia in his hand.
She took Yaldabaoth over her knee and spanked him.
Yaldabaoth walked away from Mount Olympus rubbing a sore bottom and minus the bottle of ambrosia.
Hebe suddenly walked past Aphrodite’s room with an ecstatic smile on her face.
Seconds later Dracul Van Helsing walked by Aphrodite’s room with an ecstatic smile on his face.
The Greek goddess of love ❤️ quickly deduced in Sherlockian fashion what had transpired between the two.
So she grabbed Dracul Van Helsing, brought him into her room, took him over her knee and spanked him.
They then made love together.
Meanwhile in London, British MP Renfield R. Renfield remarked to the ghost of Sir Winston Churchill, “Dracul doesn’t seem to be answering his cell phone.”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 20th
2023
Renfield On St. Patrick’s Day 2023
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was celebrating 🥳 St. Patrick’s Day ☘️ on this Friday March 17th 2023.
He was recounting a historical incident on his podcast.
Said Renfield, “It was 100 years ago today on March 17th 1923 that Battling Siki a boxer from Senegal 🇸🇳 defended his World Light Heavyweight Championship against an ☘️ Irish boxer Mike McTigue in Dublin Ireland 🇮🇪 on St. Patrick’s Day ☘️.
The fight is cited by social scientist Julian Simon in his book Basic Methods In Social Sciences as an example of challenging the laws of probability.
The fight went the distance and went down to a decision decided by a panel of Irish ☘️ judges in Dublin Ireland 🇮🇪 on Saint Patrick’s Day.
Put on your Sherlock Holmes hat 🧢 and see if you can correctly deduce who won the decision.
😉”
-Renfield R. Renfield, St. Patrick’s Day ☘️,
Friday March 17th 2023.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 17th
2023.
Renfield’s Podcast For Thursday March 16th 2023
An oil painting 🖼️ on display at The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery in London.
Famed London art curator Dashwood Forrest was having an exhibit of 19th Century oil paintings in his gallery.
He was also listening to British MP Renfield R. Renfield’s Thursday night podcast.
Said Renfield, “The reason Canada’s air headed Defence Minister Anita Anand and her boss Canadian Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau want regime change in Moscow has nothing to do with Ukrainian nationhood 🇺🇦 or killing Ukrainian citizens. It has everything to do with the fact that Putin won’t let the perverts in the Alphabet Soup community pridefully parade 🏳️🌈 in the streets of Moscow and Saint Petersburg. For most leaders and politicians in the Western world, catering to the whims and desires of the perverts in the Alphabet Soup community has become a psychotic and neurotic obsession for them and to stand up to the perverts in the Alphabet Soup community is a sign of global high treason against the New World Order.”
Renfield moved on to another subject, “Pope Francis has said that the design of sacred architecture must flow from the Church’s liturgy. This may explain why so many architectural monstrosity looking churches have been built since the end of the Second Vatican Council.”
Said Dashwood Forrest who had excellent good taste in both art and architecture, “I couldn’t agree more.”
Meanwhile at a Roman Catholic Church not far from the art gallery a Thursday evening Mass was being held.
A priest dressed in a clown 🤡 suit and riding a tricycle around the Altar blew his nose and his tricycle horn loudly while a trio of singers dressed like psychedelic inhaling Woodstock hippies sang Puff The Magic Dragon.
Said a visiting Russian diplomat from the Russian Embassy in London, “I thought the Roman Catholic Mass was supposed to tie in with Christ’s Sacrifice On The Cross at Calvary. Did they do this at the foot of the Cross of Calvary?”.
“The pagan Romans and the treacherous High Priesthood of the Jerusalem Temple at the time probably did,” a woman sitting next to him answered.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 16th
2023.
Pan Goatee Beheads A Bunch of Uglos On The Day That A Hamburger Eater Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday
World famous genetically created satyr Pan Goatee practicing his cutting and slicing skills on a pineapple 🍍
The world famous satyr and global promoter of a crusade against aesthetic pollution had recently earned the ire of Calgary City Hall and Calgary’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor and friend to perverts Jyoti Gondek.
At the Tuesday City Council Meeting of Calgary City Council the city’s Neo-Stalinist Mayor more appropriately named Jyoti Goondock was wanting to pass a bylaw promoting jail time (365 days but in leap year 366) and a fine ($10,000) to anyone protesting against drag queens reading stories to children in public libraries or protesting outside public swimming pools where biologically born males who purportedly self-identify as females are allowed to use girls’ changing rooms.
What got the Commie despot’s Bolshevik red coloured tampon in a knot 🪢 was that Pan Goatee had recently beheaded and dismembered 4 ugly drag queens who were reading to children in a public library.
Goatee later issued a statement in response to the Neo-Bolshevik Commie Mayor’s pro-sodomite drivel, “I had no idea that those 4 uglos were transgendered drag queens. I just thought they were repulsively 🤢 🤮 ugly looking women. Besides which these people are always bitching their fucking heads off that they self-identify as female and want to be treated as such (to the point of creating a pronoun fascist state). And besides those 4 drag queens were quite repulsively ugly. They should be happy about the fact that I treated them the same way as I do repulsively ugly women who were actually born biological females. Behead them and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces. Beheading and dismemberment in diversity and inclusion as I always say.”
Earlier today Pan Goatee had caught a ride to go to a distant Walmart.
While he was there trying to find where they keep their grocery 🛒 carts , an uglo got in his way.
So he beheaded her and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
Later he encountered a couple of more uglos.
Likewise he beheaded them and cut them up into 999 trillion pieces.
Later as he was trying to find a good deal on paper towels 🧻, a repulsive 🤢 🤮 looking uglo entered the aisle.
So he beheaded her and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
Goatee pushed the loud intercom on his astral laser machete, “Immediate paper towel cleanup in Aisle 10. Immediate paper towel cleanup in aisle 10.”
Several more beheadings and dismemberments occurred throughout the store 🏬.
Announcements on Pan Goatee’s astral laser machete intercom:
“Walmart Uglo rollback in Aisle 17…”
“Walmart Uglo rollback in Aisle 19…”
“Walmart Uglo rollback in Aisle 22…”
Later as he was trying to find his way to the cash register, an uglo and her brother got in his way so the satyr beheaded and dismembered them both.
“Gotta stop the uglo DNA 🧬 🤢 🤮 🧬 in its tracks,” Goatee remarked.
Yet another uglo got in his way.
Off with her head.
Cut up into 999 trillion pieces.
After he had paid for his groceries, he was trying to locate where his friend had parked his truck.
He went to the end of the parking lot and saw no sign of his friend’s truck.
He had heard another grocery cart behind him following him.
He turned around and saw a super super super repulsively 🤢 🤮 ugly fat ugly blimp following him.
So Goatee beheaded the obviously stupid and obnoxious fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x 999 trillion x ad infinitum x infinity and beyond x ad nauseum x 999 trillion x etc. etc. times 999 trillion.
Eventually he found his friend’s truck and received a ride home.
Later that evening, Goatee decided to go to his favourite Chinese restaurant.
He beheaded an uglo who was trying to get her car into a garage near his bus stop.
He got on the neighbourhood bus where fortunately there were no repulsive looking uglos riding.
He got off at the intersection where he was to make a bus transfer to get to the Chinese restaurant.
When he boarded on to the transfer bus, a fat ugly blimp was sitting close to the front.
So he beheaded her and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
On the way back, as he boarded a transfer bus to get to his neighbourhood bus, a repulsive looking uglo was sitting 2nd seat from the front.
So the satyr sat right in the front row so he wouldn’t have to look at her pathetic piece of shit ugly face.
Then as he was approaching his transfer stop, the repulsive 🤢 🤮 looking uglo rang the bell behind him indicating she was getting off at the same stop.
Goatee quickly went to the door so the uglo wouldn’t get off in front of him.
As he got off the bus, the repulsive looking uglo tried to run in front of him so he beheaded her and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.
Krampus who carried the remains of the satyr’s beheaded and dismembered uglos to Tartarus in the Realm of Hades shouted to him, “Hey at least you didn’t kill any drag queens today. Jyoti Gondek better known as Jyoti Goondock should be pleased.”
Goatee gave him the thumbs up 👍.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday March 14th
2023.
Greek Goddess Aphrodite On A Train Plus 10th Anniversary of Pope Francis’ Election
The Greek goddess Aphrodite was riding a train to eventually get to Glastonbury Abbey.
The Greek goddess Aphrodite had a heard a tale currently circulating among some gods and goddesses that a descendant of King Arthur would someday be the Emperor of a revived Holy Roman Empire.
She endeavoured to look into the matter and decided to start by going to Glastonbury Abbey the alleged burial place of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere of Camelot.
Glastonbury Abbey was also believed to be close to the mythical mystical isle of Avalon where according to another legend King Arthur was just asleep 😴 💤 and resting and waiting to someday reign again on the throne of Britain.
Something that no doubt would come as a severe shock to His Majesty King Charles III if it were to happen in his lifetime.
It turns out Canadian vampire hunter Dracul Van Helsing was also riding this train because he had heard that the evil vampire Toulouse La Track (a vampire who rode aboard British Railway trains 🚊 and sucked the blood 🩸 of beautiful young women while showing them sketches for his paintings 🖼️ ) was aboard this train.
Dracul found Toulouse La Track’s cabin and killed him by staking him through the heart.
If Dracul had not staked and killed Toulouse La Track, the train’s conductor would have most likely done so as this would have been the 72nd time that the vampire 🧛♂️ had been caught riding without a bought and paid for British Rail ticket.
Dracul then set out to find his own train compartment.
He opened one door and saw Aphrodite:
Naturally Dracul Van Helsing being Dracul Van Helsing made out with her.
The ghost of Orson Welles walked in on the scene of the divine climax.
“Holy orgasm, Batman!” Said Welles’ ghost who had binge watched episodes of the 1960s American TV series Batman the night before.
. . .
“So he came with the king’s mandate, bringing nothing worthy of the high priesthood, but having the fury of a cruel tyrant, and the rage of a savage beast.”
-II Maccabees 4:25
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing his Monday night podcast on this evening of March 13th 2023, “Today is the 10th anniversary of the satanic AntiPope Jorge Mario Bergoglio being elected to the throne of Peter…”
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday March 13th
2023.
Koridwen, Churchill and The Miraculous Bottle of Brandy
Koridwen was the Mother of the Korrigans that race of supernatural creatures who were magical dwarves and lived underground in Brittany.
Koridwen was the wife of Hu-Ar-Braz the first of the Druids.
Her youngest son was the first of the korrigans.
Called Taliesen the Bard in Welsh and Cornish mythology.
In the 1950s, the ghost of Marshal Philippe Petain (the Chief of State of Vichy France) was granted a dispensational release from the underworld by Hades.
The request for Marshal Petain’s release was made by the Norse god Odin/Germanic god Wotan for reasons known only to that deity.
Anyhow Marshal Petain set out to bump off Winston Churchill at Christmas 1954.
Churchill was kept alive by a bottle of very good tasting brandy that had been mixed with water from a spring at Walsingham England the site of a miraculous Marian apparition in the mid-11th Century known as Our Lady of Walsingham.
The bottle was quite tall.
And finally ran out in late January of 1965 at which time Churchill died.
Churchill only sipped from that bottle when he thought his life was in mortal danger.
Marshal Petain’s ghost was able to convince Taliesen the first korrigan to steal that bottle of brandy as a Christmas present from the ghosts of Vichy France and the Third Reich to Winston Churchill at Christmas 1954.
No one was quite sure how in the mists of history of the 1950s that Taliesen returned that bottle to Churchill.
However evil scientists working at CERN in the year 2023 decided to try a time travel experiment.
Billionaire eugenicist Bill Gates had become aware that a nuclear ☢️ world war in the mid-1950s would prevent the world population from reaching the 9 billion people mark in the early 21st Century (a number that the racist and crypto-Nazi son of a Freemason hated).
So therefore the time travel experiment prevented Taliesen from returning that bottle to Churchill at Christmas 🎄 1954.
And thus Churchill wasn’t alive to give Anthony Eden advice in the Suez Crisis of 1956 asking the then British Prime Minister Anthony Eden to stand down and prevent the Suez Crisis from breaking out into World War III.
British MP Renfield R. Renfield became aware of the Bill Gates-CERN plot and sent Dracul Van Helsing back in time to Christmas 1954 using the Tesla-Houdini-Pantages-Welles-Lamarr magic lantern as an instrument of time travel.
Dracul wasn’t sure of how to track down Taliesen the first korrigan.
But he was able to track down Koridwen the wife of Hu-Ar-Braz (the first of the Druids) and the mother of Taliesen the first of the korrigans.
Naturally Van Helsing made out with Koridwen.
And Koridwen convinced her son Taliesen to give back the miraculous bottle of brandy to Churchill.
Thus Churchill was still alive during the Suez Crisis to give his successor Anthony Eden much needed advice to prevent the Suez Crisis from turning into a nuclear ☢️ World War III.
“Well it’s nice to see Van Helsing’s sex addiction is good for something,” Renfield commented when informed what had happened.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday March 10th
2023.
Dracul Van Helsing 
Calgary City Council Equals Sodom and Gomorrah Plus Jyoti Gondek Meets Australia’s Notorious Uncle Ernie
March 15, 2023 at 9:46 pm (Commentary, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Vampire novel) (Calgary, Jyoti Gondek, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster, Renfield R. Renfield, Sodom and Gomorrah, The Neo-Bolshevik Communist Dictator Jyoti Gondek, The Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor of Calgary Jyoti Gondek, Uncle Ernie)
Calgary City Council Goes The Route of Sodom and Gomorrah
British MP Renfield R. Renfield was doing his Wednesday night podcast.
Said Renfield, “The vast majority of Calgary City Council have shown themselves to be Apostles of the Antichrist by voting in favour of a draconian bylaw that takes away the freedom of expression of Bible believing Evangelical Protestants and traditional Catholics to peacefully protest against drag queens at public libraries and swimming pool facilities. Punishment for breaking the Neo-Stalinist bylaw is a year in jail and/or a $10,000 fine.”
. . .
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster 🦞 was having a vision of Calgary City Hall being destroyed by fire 🔥 and brimstone like happened to the ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah.
A woman who turned back to look at Calgary City Hall as it vaporized into non-existence in an outburst of fire 🔥 was immediately turned into a pillar of salt (🧂 x 999 trillion).
The salt was later used by McDonald’s on its hamburgers 🍔.
The lobster 🦞 received a TV 📺 News broadcast from the future on his antennae.
Said the newscaster, “This just in from the Realm of Hades. Calgary’s new de-atomized, radically molecularly disassembled and horrified to discover that there is no Void in the afterlife Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor and friend to perverts Jyoti Gondek has been heard to complain about the roasting space reserved for her in Tartarus. Apparently the idea of being tied to a rotating roasting rotisserie barbecue spit and roasting away over open flames 🔥 for all eternity isn’t to her liking.”
. . .
After the podcast, Renfield said to his friend Amadeus Emanon, “I’m thinking of sending a Set Enterprises dirigible down to Australia 🇦🇺 and picking up Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie and flying him/her/it/? up to Calgary and enter the women’s washroom adjacent to Calgary City Hall chambers to greet that city’s air headed Mayor Jyoti Gondek. An encounter with Uncle Ernie might finally cure her of her penchant for drag queens.”
. . .
Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster 🦞 had a vision of Calgary’s air headed Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor and friend to perverts Jyoti Gondek entering the women’s washroom adjacent to Calgary City Hall chambers.
Gondek noticed what she thought was an empty cubicle and entered it.
There sitting on the throne 🚽 was Australia’s notorious Uncle Ernie wearing a dress 👗 but no panties.
He was vigorously playing his non-existent accordion 🪗 with his fingers.
Jyoti Gondek issued an ear piercing scream 😱 that shattered every glass chandelier in the city.
Later as Uncle Ernie was led away in handcuffs (which he very much enjoyed), he asked police officers not to take him along any route at which Pan Goatee might be present.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 15th
2023.
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