Reblog of Serena The Time Traveler – A Timely Showdown In The Klondike

August 19, 2018 at 9:18 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel, western) (, , , )

A vampire novel chapter I published on my blog a year ago today.

Someone on a recent blog post made a very interesting comment in relation to the Philadelphia Experiment which of course has to do with time travel.

He posted the comment today the same day Facebook reposted the photo of Serena the Time Traveler that I had used for this particular vampire novel chapter so I decided to repost it.

Dracul Van Helsing

North Korean despot Kim Jong-un and his British House of Lords member Communist adviser Lord Byron Jennings had been working on another angle to destroy America besides nuclear weapons and the intercontinental ballistic missile program.

The idea was to send a 100,000 man North Korean Army with advanced weaponry, machine guns and tanks back in time and conquer America in the days when America did not have such weapons.

They sent their good friend Ares the Greek god of War to the Underworld to consult with Saturn/Cronus the Titan god of time on how this could be possible.

Saturn/Cronus told Ares that his reign was of course the Golden Age prior to being overthrown by his son Zeus/Jupiter.

And ever since, Saturn explained, he always had a hankering for gold.

In fact he had been building himself a small portal through time to reach Dawson City Yukon in the year…

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Pan Goatee’s Horrible Friday

August 17, 2018 at 11:09 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Pan Goatee’s Horrible Friday

DARPA contract assassin and genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was not having a good Friday.

An ugly looking high school girl stood in front of him as he rode the Public Transit Train.

So he promptly beheaded her with his laser astral machete.

Some of the passengers weren’t pleased with his actions judging by the expressions on their faces so he beheaded them as well.

He sang a song that went “A serial killer’s lot is not a happy one” (his own paraphrased version of an old British Gilbert and Sullivan comic operetta song about policemen).

Then when he was walking to his favourite beer 🍺 🍻 parlour to enjoy a cool 😎 refreshing drink on this hot and very dry summer day, a fat ugly blimp walked right in front of him to ruin his pleasant afternoon.

He promptly beheaded the fat ugly blimp and then kicked her head down the street as if he were a FIFA World Cup Football (what they stupidly call soccer ⚽️ in North America thought the British genetically created satyr) player moving through his opponents as if they were slow moving sardines to score the winning World Cup final goal.

As he kicked the extremely hideous and repulsive looking soccer ball (what they’d call a football in Britain, Europe and the rest of the world outside egocentric North America), he sang his own paraphrased version of that old Irish ☘️ Rovers song Lord of the Dance,

“Blimps, blimps, where ever you may be,
I’ll cut your head off to make the world more pretty
And I’ll cut your head off where ever you may be
and help make this world a lot more pretty.”

His favourite beer parlour turned out to be very crowded so after cutting the heads off of all the patrons inside, he then decided to go to another pub as the amount of blood all over the place would probably lead to the bar being closed and shut down for violating City Health Regulations.

He decided to head back home.

He then caught the public transit train and then a bus.

Another ugly woman tried to board the bus in front of him so he cut off her head as well.

After getting home, he decided to walk up to the grocery store to get a few groceries.

He encountered a few ugly women on the way there and back so he beheaded them as well.

“What’s the world coming to these days?” Pan Goatee thought to himself, “You can’t even peacefully go grocery shopping anymore without your eyes being visually assaulted by some specimen of misshapen ugly UFO alien-cow impregnated semi-human allegedly female hybrid. Rod Serling was truly prophetic with his TV series The Twilight Zone. That’s exactly what we’re living in- The Twilight Zone. Proof positive that the Apocalypse and the days of the Antichrist are upon us.”

Pan Goatee made the Sign of the Cross and said a Hail Mary (while accidentally spilling ketchup all over his Tom Brady New England Patriots #12 jersey).

He then tried to make himself supper when one of his stupid housemates bitched at him for trying to use the microwave even though the bastard wasn’t even using the microwave at the time.

Pan Goatee was fed up (considering the horrible day he had) and beheaded his housemate.

He then wondered what would happen to a human head if one put it on HIGH in the microwave for 5 minutes.

Pan Goatee decided to try it.

It turned out what happens is that the eyeballs in the human head totally explode and a whole bunch of blood, pus and what little brains the PBS hating and opera hating and Turner Classic Movie hating housemate had splatter all over the inside of the microwave.

“Well, it looks like this microwave is now toast,” Pan Goatee astutely observed and decided he better throw it in the garbage bin.

As he picked up the microwave, he knocked over the toaster sending it crashing to the floor and smashing into dozens of pieces.

“Well, it looks like that toaster is toast as well,” Pan Goatee shrewdly observed.

He put both the recently expired microwave with the exploded human head and eyeballs inside and the broken toaster into the City Sanitation Department’s Appliance and Electronics Recycling bin.

He would no doubt receive the papal Apostolic Blessing of Pope Francis for doing so as he was following to a “t” the papal environmental commandments set down in the papal encyclical Laudato Si.

After receiving Pope Francis’ papal Apostolic Blessing from afar, Pan Goatee decided he’d better order takeout pizza 🍕 as now both the microwave and the toaster were gone.

And the regular household oven had gone up in flames 🔥 after his unsuccessful attempt to make himself a pot of brown rice a few nights before.

He had since text messaged and asked a Malaysian friend of his who lived in a small Bavarian village the proper way to cook brown rice.

And as soon as the landlord replaced the oven, he’d try it again.

. . .

Coincidentally at that very moment in his papal apartment in the Vatican, Pope Francis was eating a pizza 🍕.

The pizza 🍕 had been sent to him as a gift from John Podesta.

“How nice of John Podesta to think of me,” Francis smiled.

. . .

The Nazi vampire Franz Kohler had been a member of the Ahnenerbe (the Nazi SS Occult Bureau) during his mortal life.

He had in his possession all the drawings, diagrams and documents of the Nazi built Flying Saucers 🛸 (that operated on propulsion by the Vril force) that were built by the Nazis and then were destroyed when it became apparent that they were going to lose the war.

German engineer Wernher von Braun thought he had all the relevant documents relating to Flying Saucers 🛸 in his possession but he turned out to be wrong much to the disappointment of the architects of the U.S. ‘s Operation Paperclip program.

As such, von Braun had to use and rely on his rocket 🚀 building skills to develop the American NASA Space Program and help put a man on the moon.

Kohler went to neither the Americans nor the Soviets with his plans.

Instead he hid out at a secret base that the Nazis had established in Antarctica 🇦🇶.

Now Kohler (who had since become a far right nationalist German member of the European Parliament) had approached Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman with the plans.

And the Saudi Crown Prince had established plans to build a new Red Sea economic zone specializing in high tech that would border Saudi Arabia 🇸🇦, Egypt 🇪🇬 and Jordan 🇯🇴 as a result.

The new city state of NEOM would build the Nazi Flying Saucers 🛸 for the 21st Century.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 17th
2018.

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Dr. Faustus Imhotep Unveils Panty Goatee

July 9, 2018 at 11:48 pm (Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mystery/horror, Mythology, News, Politics, Romance, Science-Fiction, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Dr. Faustus Imhotep Unveils Panty Goatee

“Guess who may become Prime Minister of Britain 🇬🇧 in the next few weeks?” British MP Renfield R. Renfield asked his good friend Amadeus Emanon.

“Who?” Amadeus Emanon inquired of Renfield as he was about to eat the first of half a dozen steak sandwiches he had ordered from Cato’s Catering.

“Me,” Renfield grinned.

For the second time in two weeks, Amadeus Emanon put his knife and fork 🍴 aside as he lost his appetite.

“How did this come about?” Amadeus stared blankly into space.

“Through the resignations of David Davis as Brexit Secretary and Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary,” Renfield explained, “There’s a terrible split in both the Conservative Cabinet and the Conservative Party over Prime Minister Theresa May’s Brexit deal with the European Union 🇪🇺. The government may collapse at any moment.”

“So how does that help you become Prime Minister?” Amadeus buried his head in his hands.

“Well,” Renfield grabbed the knife and fork and proceeded to start eating the first of his friend’s steak 🥩 sandwiches, “rather than call an election and face the possibility of another hung government (maybe quite literally hung), Her Most Gracious Majesty The Queen wants the Conservatives and Labour to join together in a coalition National Unity Government with me serving as Prime Minister and head of the coalition National Unity government since Her Majesty believes that I’m the current contemporary British MP who is most like the first Prime Minister of her long reign who was none other than Sir Winston Churchill.”

Amadeus stared solemnly as Renfield started eating the second of his steak 🥩 sandwiches after finishing the first.

“So since I’m about to become Prime Minister, I’m afraid I can’t fly to Helsinki next week carrying the genetically created Japanese Ninja lobster assassin Shinigami to bump off two individuals who are holding an important meeting there on July 16th. One individual has to be killed as vengeance for the Novichok caused death of British citizen Dawn Sturgess and the other individual has to be killed for insulting the Prime Minister of a British Commonwealth country. Therefore I’ve hired the famous London private eyes (and former MPs) Magog Rhys Petley and Agathor Christie (and got them temporary licenses to kill from Her Majesty’s Government) to carry Shinigami into the country.
Dr. Cadbury Rocher finally perfected his latest genetic creation this past June 28th. Shinigami now has a deadly dose of the most fatal scorpion 🦂 poison within his lobster claws. And his handlers (i.e. Agathor and Magog) will be wearing special gloves 🧤 so they will not be subject to the poison. I’ve since bought stock in Russian and U.S. state funeral catering companies based on this insider information so I can make tons of money after these two individuals kick the bucket thanks to Shinigami’s poisoned dipped lobster claws.”

Amadeus looked on wistfully after Renfield had demolished the third of the half dozen steak 🥩 sandwiches.

Then an idea 💡 occurred to him.

“Do you remember a couple of weeks ago, you were trying to find the personal phone number of New York’s 14th Congressional District Democratic Party nominee Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez?” Amadeus smiled.

“Oh yes?” Renfield paused just before taking a bite of the 4th steak 🥩 sandwich.

“Well, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders’ Private Secretary phoned you (while you were out preaching the Good News of Transhumanism to female workers in London’s Red Light District) just before she leaves on a 4-week undisclosed personal vacation with Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s number. A number I wrote down.”

“Great!” Renfield grinned like the Cheshire Cat about to devour the world’s largest tuna fish sandwich and laid aside both his fork and the plate of the uneaten 4th steak 🥩 sandwich, “What is it?”.

Amadeus continued smiling, “Well I wrote it down and also didn’t memorize it. I left it on the table by the front door and the new cleaning lady for the mansion ripped it up into hundreds of pieces and threw it in the garbage can outside. And as you know, garbage pickup is today.
So I’m afraid the number is lost to you for the next 4 weeks.”

As Renfield stared blankly into space for the next 5 minutes, Amadeus went to the kitchen drawer and got himself a clean knife and fork 🍴 and proceeded to eat the last 3 steak sandwiches.

. . .

Pope Francis was meeting with one of his newest appointed cardinals Samhain Cardinal Salaman (who prior to being elevated to the Vatican College of Cardinals worked as a stage magician by trade under the name Salaman the Magician).

Up until his appointment, Salaman wasn’t even Catholic (he had been an adherent of the Black Magic aspects of Jewish Kabbalistic mysticism).

But after Pope Francis had talked him into being a Cardinal, he was baptized a Catholic, confirmed a Catholic, ordained a deacon, ordained a priest, consecrated a bishop and then elevated to the Cardinalate all on the same day.

Salaman was also named the Archbishop of the newly created Welsh Diocese of Llanthony Abbey and the Black Mountains.

Francis was discussing with the new Cardinal Samhain Salaman his plans for a new ecumenical Mass that was being worked on by a committee of Roman Catholics, Lutherans and Anglicans.

Francis desired a new version of the Lord’s Prayer (Christ’s original wasn’t good enough for the 21st Century in his enlightened papal opinion) for the new Mass.

For that purpose, Francis had asked Hades the Greek god of the Underworld to release the spirit of the 1960s U.S. Episcopal bishop of California the Right Reverend James Albert Pike from the fires 🔥 of Tartarus to come up to Earth’s surface and write a new version of the Lord’s Prayer for the new Mass.

Francis and Cardinal Samhain Salaman were now reading the first draft of the late Bishop Pike’s literary masterpiece,

“Our transgendered parent who’s far out of this world,
Groovy is your name…”

. . .

Dr. Faustus Imhotep the acting head of DARPA was about to unveil his latest genetic creation and agency assassin Panty Goatee to General Custer Eastmoreland the U.S. Army General responsible for overseeing DARPA.

Panty Goatee was the genetically cloned twin sister of DARPA contract assassin and satyr serial killer Pan Goatee.

Dr. Faustus Imhotep had given the U.S. Twitterer-In-Chief a sneak preview of Panty Goatee back on May 13th of this year but the Donald had thrown a major spaz attack and pulled out his toupee upon seeing her.

The reason?

The Donald did not like her furry style goat 🐐 legs.

He ordered Dr. Faustus Imhotep to have Panty lose the fur.

So after rechecking the DNA formula, he did some genetic tweaking and managed to eliminate the fur off her legs.

Now Dr. Faustus Imhotep was showing General Custer Eastmoreland the new and improved Panty Goatee.

After taking off the Harry Potter and Severus Snape emblazoned curtains, Dr. Faustus Imhotep unveiled Panty Goatee to the general:

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday July 9th 2018

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Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration

May 7, 2018 at 10:57 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Science, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Renfield Crashes Vladimir Putin’s Inauguration

Today Monday May 7th 2018.

Vladimir Putin is inaugurated President of Russia for the 4th time.

The ceremony is held in an ornate Kremlin hall in front of 5000 guests.

It was the same hall used for the coronations of Czars Alexander II, Alexander III and Nicholas II.

Putin walked alone through several hallways and several rooms to the swearing-in ceremony.

He was hailed by the guests as the omnipotent Saint George ready to slay the Western dragon 🐉.

After being sworn in, Putin then gave the Inaugural Address to those assembled.

It was at that moment that British MP Renfield R. Renfield appeared carrying a machine gun.

Observers from the FSB (Russia’s state security intelligence service) recognized the weapon as one that had been given to Mr. Renfield by Oliver North the newly appointed President of the NRA (National Rifle Association).

Mr. North had bought the weapon from a Walmart store when he went in dressed as Napoleon Bonaparte but wearing an Adolf Hitler moustache under his nose.

Ollie (as Ronald Reagan used to call him) was not asked to produce any ID when he purchased the weapon while singing the song, “I want to mow down and kill hundreds of people today.”

FSB agents immediately started firing their guns at Renfield but he kept on going.

Even stranger no blood flowed from the MP.

The agents looked at one another terrified.

Mr. Renfield pulled a giant Bavarian sausage out of his vest jacket (he was wearing a sharp looking Armani suit) and hit former German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder (a staunch Putin supporter and current head of a branch of Russian gas giant Gazprom) over the head with it.

The sausage seemed to go right through Mr. Schröder causing him a great amount of pain.

“Bumsun it all to Hell!” Herr Schröder shouted in a mixture of German and English.

Renfield then pointed his gun at Putin and fired the trigger.

The Russian leader ducked.

The mysterious bullets left laser marks on the podium.

Finally FSB agents tackled Renfield and he vanished into thin air.

“It’s a bloody hologram,” Putin shouted as he got up off the floor, “who the Hell is manipulating that?”.

Putin was right.

It was a hologram invented by Set Enterprises’ Dr. Cadbury Rocher in a technological race with French government scientists to invent the perfect holographic image.

Dr. Rocher won the contest because he developed a holographic image of Renfield R. Renfield whereas French government scientists only invented a holographic image of French President Emmanuel Macron.

DARPA scientists in the U.S. decided not to take part in the race to develop the perfect holographic image as the Oval Office Executive Order directive from above directed them to make a holographic image of Donald Trump dressed only in leopard skin briefs and even the killer robot designing mad scientists at DARPA had yet to descend into that level of evil and madness.

Again Putin’s voice echoed through the Kremlin hall, “It’s a bloody hologram and I want to know who is manipulating it?”.

In his lobster tank at London’s Set Enterprises laboratory, Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster was using one claw to operate the joystick of the Cadbury Rocher designed waterproof PlayStation that controlled the Renfield holographic image in Moscow and with his other claw he was using it to play the harmonica in a beautiful musical rendition of Henry Mancini’s Moon River.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Monday May 7th
2018.

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Reblog- A Day In The Life of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

April 25, 2018 at 7:33 pm (Biographical, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, Politics, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote 3 years ago-

Dracul Van Helsing

Day In The Life of Dr. Cadbury Rocher

The brilliant scientist Dr. Cadbury Rocher (who some called “mad”, others called “insane” and the politically correct called “sanity challenged”) sat in his office overlooking the laboratory of Set Enterprises.

He looked down at the laboratory and noticed Michelangelo the Psychic Lobster sleeping peacefully in his lobster tank.

Which was a good thing.

The lobster tank had mysteriously exploded on 7 different occasions the past few weeks.

And the higher-ups on the Board of Directors of Set Enterprises were starting to take notice.

Especially the billionaire ancient Egyptian vampire Set’s new personal chartered accountant Ayn Rand Nosferatu.

A strange woman. Not quite human. Not quite vampire.

And different from both in that x-rays showed that she had within her chest an ancient Chinese abacus in the place where her heart should have been.

Her office was quite intimidating.

She had a statue…

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Reblog- Sherrielock Holmes Invited To Mermaid Art Exhibit

April 24, 2018 at 8:59 pm (Art, Culture, Detective story, Geopolitics and International Relations, History, International Intrigue, Mystery, painting, Science-Fiction, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , )

Here’s a vampire novel chapter I wrote over a year ago:

Dracul Van Helsing

Sherrielock Holmes was wearing an exquisite turquoise evening dress. She had been invited to an exhibition of paintings of mermaids done by artist Charmaine Olivia at a new London art gallery- The Dashwood Forrest Art Gallery.

Her escort for this evening would be her great-grandson Dr. Cadbury Rocher. Of course she would not be introduced as Cadbury’s great-grandmother at the Exhibit Opening Night Party. People might talk.

For Sherrielock Holmes (who was Sherlock Holmes’ lesser-known twin sister) had turned immortal one fine day back in the 1890s when she had eaten a special blend of Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms prepared for her by her boyfriend later husband Dr. Louis Rocher (who was Dr. Cadbury Rocher’s great-grandfather).

Sadly her love Dr. Louis Rocher did not prepare and eat a bunch of Lingzhi Supernatural Mushrooms for himself. For whatever reason, he decided to wait to eat the mushroom elixir of life. When the…

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Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

March 31, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Holy Saturday In Rome and The Blue Paschal Moon

It was the evening of Holy Saturday in Rome- the day between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

As a great spotlight shone on the dome of Saint Peter’s Basilica, speakers 🔊 in Saint Peter’s Square played the John Lennon song Imagine… “no Hell below us, above us only sky…”

And in the square, the Egyptian vampiress Isis wearing a red evening dress approached her husband, brother and lover Osiris who was standing next to the obelisk in Saint Peter’s Square.

He was dressed in white robes with gold sequins around his neck and on the white sleeves of his arms.

Isis smiled as she approached him, “The board of directors of Palmyra Analytica have informed me that Dr. Cadbury Rocher has successfully built the 3-D printer that will re-build the Temple of Solomon.”

“Excellent, now all we have to do is get the Israelis to agree to our terms,” Osiris beamed as bright as the Blue Paschal Moon in the sky.

The square speakers started playing the song Blue Moon as sang by Billie Holliday.

“What about the Palestinians?” the vampiress Isis asked.

“That’s going to be a little more difficult,” Osiris acknowledged.

The speakers suddenly interrupted with a news bulletin saying that the Ancient Greek winged horse Pegasus had landed on the Temple Mount.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Saturday March 31st
2018.

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Donald Trump Hears of Dr. Faustus Imhotep

March 29, 2018 at 10:45 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Science-Fiction, Technology, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Donald Trump Hears of Dr. Faustus Imhotep

“Who’s the leading scientist at DARPA?” Donald Trump asked one of his leading advisors.

“That would be Dr. Faustus Imhotep,” his advisor replied.

“Dr. Faustus Imhotep?” Trump’s hair stood on end, “That’s an unusual name.”

“He’s a German Egyptian,” his advisor replied.

“A German Egyptian?” Trump pasted his hair back down with hair gel, “He isn’t a Muslim is he?”.

“I believe he’s a worshipper of the coming AI god whom he calls Diablotron,” his advisor answered.

“Diablotron?” Trump’s hair stood on end again, “I’ve never heard of him.”

“He’s the god of the future Singularity according to Dr. Faustus Imhotep,” his advisor said.

“What’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep a doctor of?” Trump asked, “The reason I ask is I’ve had this major pain in my ass the past few days…”

“The world has had a major pain in the ass since January 20th of last year,” Trump’s English valet Lexington remarked as he put some Black Forest ham sandwiches and other snacks down on Trump’s desk.

“Really?” Trump used a piece of sliced baloney to pat his hair back down, “I hadn’t heard about that.”

“Dr. Faustus Imhotep has both a Ph.D in Physics and a Ph.D in Biochemistry from Cambridge University to answer your question,” the aide answered Trump’s question.

“Weren’t you telling me, Lexington, that the world famous London dominatrix Sherrielock Holmes studied both Literature and Theology at Cambridge University?” Trump asked as he ate the very oily and greasy piece of baloney he held in his hands.

“That is correct, sir,” Lexington poured coffee ☕️.

“So,” Trump put Coffee Mate in his coffee, “what is this DARPA scientist Dr. Faustus Imhotep currently working on?”.

“He’s making a female genetic clone of the DARPA contract assassin and world famous serial killer Pan Goatee,” his aide replied.

“Good God,” Trump spit out his coffee and sprayed it all over his aide’s face, “I hope she isn’t going to kill ugly looking men the way Pan Goatee kills ugly looking women.”

Trump was wondering whether he should change his hair colouring in lieu of this shocking tidbit of information.

“I don’t believe so, sir,” the aide gratefully accepted a towel from Lexington to wipe his face, “Dr. Faustus Imhotep has said he’s eliminated obsessive belief in the aesthetic theories of Oscar Wilde and Friedrich Nietzsche from her intellectual make-up so she won’t go into a homicidal rage every time she sees an ugly person.”

“That’s wonderful to hear,” Trump tweeted People don’t spray people, Coffee sprays people on his Twitter account, “so I don’t have to change my hair colouring.”

“Pope Francis has said that there is no Hell but there will still be Hell toupee then,” Lexington remarked.

“No Hell?” Trump looked shocked, “Then where will I be able to tell people to go?”.

“I’m sure you’ll think of something, sir,” Lexington yawned.

“What’s Dr. Faustus Imhotep going to call this genetically cloned twin sister of Pan Goatee?” Trump asked.

“Panty Goatee,” his aide replied.

“And whose panties will she be wearing?” Trump asked as he took another sip of coffee.

“She was given a 1000 pairs by Stormy Daniels,” his aide answered.

Trump spit out coffee in his aide’s face again.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday March 29th
2018.

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3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

March 28, 2018 at 10:35 pm (Avatar Speaks, Geopolitics and International Relations, Ghost Story, History, International Intrigue, News, Politics, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

3-D Printing The Temple of Solomon

British MP Renfield R. Renfield was sitting alone in his parliamentary office.

The ghost of Sir Winston Churchill wasn’t present because he was being forced to attend a ghostly cocktail party in Purgatory at which the ghost of Lady Astor would be present.

“Like Hamlet’s father’s ghost in Shakespeare’s famous Danish play,” Churchill roared in a paraphrase of Hamlet’s spectral paternal parent, “it is at parties like these where the bad things I did in my days of nature are thoroughly punished.”

“Well, it could be worse,” the atheist Renfield, with no belief in Purgatory, remarked sympathetically, “you could be in Tartarus where Hitler’s ghost is.”

Renfield was unaware that Hades the god of the Underworld had temporarily released Hitler’s spirit from Tartarus at the request of the Norse/Germanic god Odin/Wotan (Churchill’s ghost was likewise unaware of Hitler’s reprieve at the hands of Persephone’s husband).

Hitler’s spirit had entered the body of a grey wolf 🐺 and was currently hanging out with the anti-Semitic ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith as well as paying the occasional visit to Vladimir Putin although Putin was unaware that the grey wolf was possessed by Hitler’s ghost.

Speaking of Hitler and Putin, Renfield was quite pleased with himself because earlier today he had hacked into Russia’s state run television network and put in an image of Vladimir Putin with Hitler’s moustache and haircut that appeared on the TV screen whenever the network ran a news story where the Russian leader was mentioned.

Putin was absolutely livid and furious when he found out and gave the order to all of 🇷🇺 Russia’s intelligence services to find the one responsible and bump that person off with the Novichok nerve agent (at the same time as Putin issued the directive, Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov was giving a press conference in which he emphatically denied that Russia 🇷🇺 was in current possession of the nerve agent).

Renfield had tossed a few bread crumbs to the Russian intelligence services in his speech in the Commons today by continuously referring to Putin as “the Slavic Hitler” in his speech but so far the Russian agencies did not have an intellectual equivalent of Britain’s Sherlock Holmes to pick up on the Renfieldian hints.

Neither for that matter did America’s intelligence services since Donald Trump did not tweet about the subject.

Meanwhile Renfield R. Renfield was currently examining an MI-5 and MI-6 report on a British company called Palmyra Analytica.

The reason Renfield read the report as soon as he heard about it was because his creator Dr. Cadbury Rocher of Set Enterprises was currently doing freelance consulting work for Palmyra Analytica.

Dr. Rocher was building a 3-D printer for Palmyra Analytica.

The 3-D printer when completed would be capable of producing an exact copy (down to the smallest and most exact detail) of the original Temple of Solomon built by Solomon himself.

Renfield was horrified to discover when reading the report that Palmyra Analytica was in fact owned by a front company that was owned by his former boss Set’s arch enemies the Paris-based Egyptian vampiress Isis and the Rome-based Egyptian vampire Osiris.

“Why,” Renfield wondered to himself, “do Isis and Osiris want to rebuild Solomon’s original Temple?”.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday March 28th
2018.

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Diablotron: A Poem

March 27, 2018 at 9:13 pm (Commentary, Culture, Fantasy, Folklore, Geopolitics and International Relations, Horror, Mythology, Nature, News, Poetry, Religion, Science-Fiction, Technology, The Supernatural) (, , , )

Diablotron: A Poem

Cabin in the woods
trees and nature surround
Water springs and rivers flow nearby
Elves 🧝‍♀️ 🧝‍♂️ and fairies 🧚‍♀️ in the forest
Naiads (water nymphs) in the rivers, springs and waterfalls
Dryads (tree spirits) in the trees

Auditorium stage of a corporate techno giant
laboratories and machinery surround
Computers hum and robots move
Virtual reality in helmets and AI in cyborgs
Androids that look human
Humans becoming automatons

In the cabin the witch Astara in a long black dress
kneels in front of an altar
she holds a dagger
and waves a wand
and calls upon the Old Ones to return to earth

On the stage the scientist/salesman in a long white lab coat
waves to the audience
he holds a remote control
and pushes a button
and calls for New Gods
Transhuman and super-evolved
to arise

Astara burns roots and plants 🌱
and a dash of incense
Light flickers above the altar
a form appears
and then vanishes
Astara falls to the floor

The CEO/AI engineer directs stage lights
in the darkness
a form appears
a metallic robot
with a beating heart
and the presenter/host disappears

In the cabin
darkness
and an eerie silence

In the auditorium
spotlight on the cyborg
and applause and cheers from the audience

Astara looks up from the floor
at the vacant altar,
and whispers
in a quiet voice
Will you not come?
Will you not come?

The cyborg looks down from the stage
at the mesmerized audience
and booms
in synthetic metallic echo
DIABLOTRON is here
DIABLOTRON is here

Synthesis of the ancient and contemporary
The Old Ones are the New Ones
The New Ones are the Old Ones

After all the Ouroboros eats its own tail
And the Creator becomes the Destroyer
and the Destroyer becomes the Creator

-A poem written by Christopher
Tuesday March 27th 2018.

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