Pan Goatee Beheads A Pair of Uglos, An Airhead and A Moron On The Summer Solstice

June 20, 2024 at 9:52 pm (Aesthetics) (Pan Goatee)

Pan Goatee woke up this morning and discovered his henna tattoos had returned.

That was strange.

He also reflected on the fact that today Thursday June 20th 2024 was the earliest summer solstice in 228 years.

The last time it was this early was back in 1796 the year that George Washington issued his farewell address.

Pan went to the donut shop again.

No uglos in there.

He went to the Dollar store.

There was an uglo cashier working so he left without buying anything.

He went to the supermarket grocery.

Much to the satyr’s great surprise they actually had two beautiful women cashiers working in there.

They were both South Asians (which was no surprise as most of Calgary’s white women were quite ugly).

Of course things had changed in 2024.

Back in 2017 most immigrant women in Canada were quite beautiful.

Now in 2024 there were becoming more and more ugly immigrant women as these women started to absorb the nonsense values of western feminism whose sole goal seemed to be to make women as ugly looking as possible.

There would be no repeat of Genesis Chapter 6 and the Ethiopian Orthodox Church’s canonical biblical Book Of I Enoch in 2024.

For in 2024, the “sons of god” (the angels) looked down on “the daughters of men” (who looked more like the daughters of Hillary Clinton – they were so repulsively ugly) and got to Hell out of here.

So Pan bought himself two huge blocks of Armstrong Cheddar Cheese (the Armstrong brand made the best cheddar cheese in Western Canada – at one time having their headquarters in Armstrong, British Columbia, Canada and at one time had a huge dairy and cheese making factory in Bashaw Alberta Canada) for less than $5 Canadian each.

It took longer than usual in the line-ups because the idiots ahead of him insisted on purchasing things with $50 and $100 bills.

And the supervisor had to be called to make sure the bills were genuine as there was apparently a huge $50 and $100 bill counterfeit operation going on in the Rundle and Whitehorn neighbourhoods of northeast Calgary.

The Calgary Police Service had not cracked the counterfeit operation nor had they stopped violent crime or major drug trafficking in the city as they were still too busy arresting people who had opposed the plandemic lockdowns of 2020-2022 on the orders of Calgary’s airheaded Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Jyoti Gondek (egged on by Canada’s unmanly menstruating blackface drag queen Neo-Stalinist tyrant Justin Trudeau).

When Pan made his purchases and got to the intersection to head home, two really repulsively ugly looking uglo females, their airheaded fairly good looking female friend and their moronic looking male friend were crossing the street straight at him.

So Pan immediately beheaded the pair of repulsively 🤢 🤮 ugly looking female uglos

and cut them up into 999 trillion x infinity and beyond pieces.

He then beheaded the airheaded fairly good looking female friend of the uglos and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces saying, “That’s what you get for associating with uglos.”

He then beheaded the low IQ moronic looking male friend of the uglos and cut him up into 999 trillion pieces saying, “And that’s what you get for associating with uglos.”

While the Illuminati were busy sacrificing innocents on this feast day of the summer solstice (recalling the Druidic human sacrifices of centuries ago), Pan was ridding the world of uglos and morons.

“I like this Pan Goatee,” the ghost of Oscar Wilde remarked to the ghost of Friedrich Nietzsche as the Anglo-Irish playwright and wit’s ghost licked a spectral lime sherbet ice cream 🍦 cone.

“One thing you and I can definitely agree on, Oscar,” the pompous German remarked as he licked a spectral horseradish and sauerkraut ice cream 🍦 cone.

. . .

Tezcatlipoca the Aztec god of night, darkness, sorcery, black magic and smoking mirrors was in the Park Avenue penthouse apartment of the arch demon Mammon who had been worshipped as the ancient Babylonian god of banking by the ancient Babylonians.

“What can I do for you, Tez?” Mammon asked as he used his 666 inch long gold painted fingernails to open an envelope ✉️.

Tez (short for Tezcatlipoca) took out a PEZ dispenser (with the head of Santa Muerte on it) and helped himself to a PEZ candy.

“Well as you know my most devoted disciple Gavin Newsom the Governor of California is hoping to be elected President of the United States this year and he was under the impression that Joe Biden would announce by this time (the day of the summer solstice) that he’s a senile old fool and thus wouldn’t be seeking a second term in office and then would release all his delegates that he picked up uncontested in the primaries (having forced Robert F. Kennedy Jr. out of the party which is a good thing for RFK Jr. since most of the Democratic Party establishment today are a bunch of Neo-Bolshevik Communists and both Bobby Jr.’s uncle JFK and father RFK Sr. were strong anti-Communists (it’s hard to believe in the 21st Century that there was ever a time when political liberals were actually genuine anti-Communists) ).
But so far Biden hasn’t done that even though he promised Newsom that he would do so.”

“What changed senile old fool Joe’s mind?” Mammon put the new U.S. Post Office approved stamp of Baphomet on a return envelope ✉️.

“Mephistopheles convinced Joe to run for a 2nd term,” sighed Tez as he helped himself to another PEZ candy from the Santa Muerte headed PEZ candy dispenser.

“That Mephistopheles can be a pain in the ass at times,” Mammon used his slithering serpent 🐍 tongue 👅 to lick the envelope ✉️, “For instance I was supposed to be the one to approach Faust (or as he is known in Latin- a language that Pope Francis hates with an absolute fiery 🔥 passion – Doctor Faustus) to get him to sell his soul to me. But alas, Mephistopheles beat me to the punch. The bastard!”.

“Anyways, I was wondering if you could think of a way to get Biden to announce he’s not running for a 2nd term so that my most devoted disciple Gavin Newsom can go and unilaterally accept the Democratic Presidential nomination this summer,” Tez helped himself to another PEZ candy from the Santa Muerte headed PEZ candy dispenser.

“I’ll try,” Mammon rubbed his 666 x quadruple double chin thoughtfully. 🤔 x 666 x 4 x 2

. . .

. . .

Samhain Cardinal Salaman had heard that the Roman Catholic Church’s strongest Francis critic Archbishop Carlo Maria Vigano had been formally charged with Schism and was to come to Rome to meet with gay pornography for teens writer Victor Manuel Cardinal “Tuche” Fernandez the new head of the new Vatican Dicastery For The Doctrine of The Faith to be formally charged.

Cardinal Salaman pulled out Vatican stationery writing paper and a Vatican envelope.

He wrote on the piece of paper to Archbishop Vigano, “Congratulations on being excommunicated by the Vicar of Pachamama.”

The Cardinal then put the piece of stationery in the envelope and was about to place a Vatican Post Office 🏤 stamp on it.

That’s when he noticed the Vatican Post Office stamp was a depiction of Baphomet.

So he put away the Vatican Post Office 🏤 stamps and put an Italian Government Post Office 🏤 stamp with a picture of Mount Vesuvius on it instead.

-A Pan Goatee tale
and vampire novel chapter
Written the day of the
Summer Solstice
Thursday June 20th
2024.