Wilkie The Cat: The Big Chill: A Private Eye Poem

August 2, 2016 at 12:03 pm (Detective story, Entertainment, Humour, Poetry) (, , , , , )

It had been a hot and humid night
Wilkie’s fur was feeling tight
stuck together like glue
not even a cat brush could get through
Wilkie’s fan was working overtime
while Wilkie drank water mixed with lime

The private eye office door opened then
frightening the office hen
who promptly laid an egg
that rolled under Wilkie’s leg

It was Mitzi standing there
looking better than a Tic Tac square
Wilkie thought in unromantic fashion
after all the she-cat was positively smashin’

How can I help you? Wilkie did ask.
I need a private eye, Mitzi winked, are you up to the task?

Wilkie banged the desk to signify yes
and the squashed egg made quite the mess
but in spite of the yolk
it was no joke.

Mitzi’s catnip had gone astray
it just upped and walked away

So Wilkie followed the catnip trail
one that made magic mushrooms pale
Through the Looking Glass, Wilkie went
and caused in Mad Hatter’s hat a dent
The Cheshire Cat’s smile was all that was there
when Queen of Hearts’ head hung in the square

Wilkie awoke with a start
saying be still, my rapid heart
His private eye fantasy all but a dream
He looked out his window and saw the catnip gleam

Wilkie thought to himself, Hm. I wonder?
Yes, what cat and nip have joined together, let not dreams put asunder.

-A poem written by Christopher
Saturday July 30th 2016.


  1. ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

    “So Wilkie followed the catnip trail
    one that made magic mushrooms pale …”
    Only I can understand that. LOL

  2. Hyperion said,

    LOL! Wilkie dreams of catnip and Mitzi. I think Freud would love to analyze that dream. Another smash hit!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Freud would have had a field day with field mushrooms analyzing that dream. LOL !

      • Hyperion said,

        He might have become a devoted client of Sherrielock’s School of Culinary Discipline. 😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        And spent his time writing about the Erinyes and their incarnations among women in the contemporary world rather than writing about Oedipus and his mother complex. 😀

      • Hyperion said,

        Think of how modern psychology would have developed. Dr. Phil might have advocated a much different approach to adult development. I hear splashing in the hot tub. Is that you, Renfield?

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Renfield is finding his buns in the middle of a tomato stew in the hot tub. LOL !

      • Hyperion said,

        LOL! That rascally Renfield. My new hero.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        LOL !

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