Toddy Sween The Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue

August 18, 2021 at 10:38 pm (Aesthetics, Horror, Mystery/horror, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Pan Goatee, Pazuzu, Toddy Sween The Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue)

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was walking towards his neighbourhood shopping centre.

As he was crossing the street a fat ugly blimp approached.

“What is it with you blimps?” Pan removed his astral laser machete, “The local news channels, when they aren’t busy scaremongering and bullshitting and changing statistics with regard to the Delta variant, have pointed out that ugly women have been beheaded here the past few weeks and yet you repulsive uglos keep coming back here ruining my day when my eyes are visually assaulted by your fugly appearance. Do you morons enjoy being beheaded or something? Or have you watched so much Ophrah in your couch surfing and refrigerator raiding existence that you have a false sense of self-esteem (which invariably happens to people who have watched too much Oprah) and actually suffer from the delusion that you’re not ugly? Rest assured you are ugly. And quite repulsively ugly at that.”

Goatee beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

An operative for evil globalists George Soros and Bill Gates stood across the street taking notes in his notebook and pencil sketching and painting a watercolour in his sketchpad of the scene to report back to Soros and Gates about Pan Goatee.

. . .

Toddy Sween the Demon Barber of Fifth Avenue in New York was being visited by Mephistopheles the fallen Archangel.

Sween had sold his soul to Mephistopheles during the pandemic last year after his barber shop like other small businesses (which didn’t have the influence of Wal-Mart or Home Depot) were closed by orders of New York City’s Neo-Bolshevik Communist Mayor Bill de Blasio and the Moloch worshipping New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo.

In exchange, Sween slit the throat of every 7th customer of his and dropped him down the hole underneath his barber chair.

The vampiress great great great grandmother of American country singer Lyle Lovett (Lyle didn’t know she was still alive) who owned a meat pie shop next door would use the bodies as ingredients for her meat pies.

Mephistopheles also said he would call upon Toddy Sween to do favours for him whenever he asked.

Sween on this day was given a list by Mephistopheles of people whose throats should be slit.

“These people live all over the world,” Sween noted, “How much time do I have to slit their throats?”.

“24 hours,” Mephistopheles replied.

“24 hours?” Toddy was incredulous, “How am I supposed to get around the world in 24 hours?”.

“The ancient Assyrian/Mesopotamian/Babylonian demon Pazuzu is going to carry you on his back,” Mephistopheles replied.

Mephistopheles whistled.

And the demon Pazuzu appeared.

The demon Pazuzu.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday August 18th
2021.