Peter Whitstable and The Killer Seaweed

May 14, 2019 at 9:22 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , )

Peter Whitstable had left Passau, Bavaria.

He had no reason to believe that the crossbow murders in the town were the handiwork of the Celtic horned stag god Cernunnos.

He headed down to Marseille, France where he had heard reports of a large bunch of seaweed that had crawled off the bottom of a boat and was now going around eating people.

A human-eating piece of seaweed would definitely fall under his jurisdiction of paranormal and unusual investigations.

As he crossed the border from Germany into France, he got a report on his mobile phone that the satyr serial killer Pan Goatee had just beheaded and bodily dismembered an ugly looking girl and her father.

“Pan Goatee’s aesthetic eugenics at work again,” Whitstable thought to himself.

On the plus side as far as Whitstable was concerned, Pan Goatee had also beheaded and dismembered a notorious German pedophile Helmut Troost who was wanted for sex crimes on six continents.

“The world is well rid of such sewage infested scumbags,” Whitstable thought as he pulled into a petrol station to buy gas.

When he reached Marseille, he pulled into a police station to see what information they had on a human-eating seaweed plant.

Apparently the piece of seaweed was currently seen devouring people throughout the Vieux Port (Old Port) of Marseille.

Whitstable rushed down to the Old Port having borrowed one of the Marseille traffic patrol’s motor scooters.

He arrived to see a group of fishermen being devoured by the seaweed.

“How horrible!” An old trader on the dockside screamed.

“I’ve never seen anything like it,” a retired sea captain remarked as he calmly smoked his pipe.

“My vegan girlfriend is always trying to get me to eat seaweed,” a university student on a sightseeing tour of Europe remarked, “I don’t think I’ll do it now. You just never know what the seaweed itself has been eating.”

In the distant waters, a conch seashell horn could be heard being blown.

The seaweed turned in the direction of the conch horn and swam out to sea.

“Will it be back?” A fishmonger asked Whitstable.

“I have no idea,” the Interpol operative replied.

“Just another day in Marseille,” the retired sea captain put some more tobacco in his pipe.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Tuesday May 14th


  1. righteousbruin9 said,

    Pan is up to his old tricks-a Vigilante Vampire for the ages. The Seaweed that ate Marseille-sounds like the Eggplant that ate Chicago.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Oh yeah, that’s right, Gary, there was a story or a cartoon several years ago about the Eggplant that ate Chicago.

  2. Anne J. said,

    I will always remember this story when I’m eating sushi. 😀 You have an amazing imagination!

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTFL, Anne. 😄

      Yes, this would be some story to remember when eating sushi. 😃

      I used to eat sushi quite a bit when I lived in Vancouver as there were so many sushi restaurants in the city and the price of sushi was quite reasonable there.

      Now living in Calgary, there aren’t so many sushi places and those that are around, charge high prices for sushi.

      So I haven’t eaten sushi since I left Vancouver in 2016.

      If I do eat sushi again, this story will be all coming back to me now. 😂

      • Anne J. said,

        And you’ll remember this sushi-eating online writing friend! 😊 It’s a pity about the restaurants where you are.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, it would be nice if there were more reasonably priced sushi restaurants here.

        I’ll remember this story and you the next time I do eat sushi. 😃

      • Anne J. said,

        And you’ll remember me remembering this story when I’m eating sushi. 😆

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, I will. 😄

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