Belvedere’s Career As Wild West Outlaw

June 28, 2016 at 7:15 pm (Vampire novel, western) (, , , , , , )

Belvedere’s Career As Wild West Outlaw

Belvedere finally managed to cross the Missouri River at Saint Louis and head further west.

He did not have much luck finding a job in places out west either so he wound up joining a gang of outlaws called The Redford Raiders.

He was kicked out of The Redford Raiders for constantly singing arias from Italian operas as they rode along the trail.

So he became known as The Lone Bandit and held up stagecoaches, Pony Express riders and banks on his own.

Having somewhat of an aversion to violence, he never carried any bullets in his gun.

So usually any robbery he attempted ended in failure when someone challenged him to use his gun.

When no one did that, his robberies usually went off without a hitch.

Save for the one time his horse bolted to a distant stream after he had robbed a stagecoach and he had to hitch a ride to get to his horse.

The person he happened to hitch a ride with just happened to be Wild Bill Hickock.

Fortunately for Belvedere, Wild Bill was in a good mood having won a card game in a nearby town and so didn’t ask too many questions like “Why are you wearing a bandana mask around your face?”.

Wild Bill dropped Belvedere off at the stream where Belvedere’s horse Wildflower still had his head in the stream going “Slurp! Slurp! Burp! Burp!”.

Belvedere thanked Wild Bill for the ride and as Wild Bill rode off into the sunset, Belvedere jumped on to Wildflower shouting, “Hi-Ho, Wildflower, away!”.

Wildflower yawned and daintily and slowly rode off into the sunset while Belvedere sang,

“… The Camptown racetrack’s five miles long
Oh, de doo-da day

Goin’ to run all night
Goin’ to run all day
I bet my money on a bob-tailed nag
Somebody bet on the gray…”

A Sioux warrior on top of a far hill tried to shoot Belvedere to stop his singing but had neglected to load his ammunition that morning and so prayed “Oh Great Spirit, help improve my memory and please deliver me from the singing voices of paleface fools.”

Belvedere continued to sing as Wildflower rode into the sunset as the horse looked around for signs of a nearby cactus by which he could suddenly unload the heavy load on his back… and his ears… and enact his vengeance at the same time.

-A western vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday June 9th


  1. Natasha Pea said,

    hahaha that’s really funny. Put a smile on my face. I hope there are a lot more of these stories because I like to read them at the end of the day:)

  2. ѕнєяяιє ∂є ναℓєяια said,

    That is more like a Monty Python sort of cowboy story, for sure.
    He failed to be anything, this Belvedere.
    Then how is it for him as a nosferatu? LOL

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Yes, Belvedere is a Monty Python style cowboy. LOL !

      Fortunately for Belvedere, he doesn’t become a Nosferatu himself.

      He just meets Nosferatu as well as vampires and vampiresses like the Aztec vampire princess Qonzilqointec and the Egyptian Vampiress Isis.

  3. Ghost and Rider Part Three | Dracul Van Helsing said,

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