Pan Goatee and Janitorial Reflections On Alfred Hitchcock and Nanotechnology

January 17, 2018 at 8:38 pm (Arts, Culture, Entertainment, Film, Movies, Science-Fiction, Vampire novel) (, , , , , , )

Pan Goatee and Janitorial Reflections On Alfred Hitchcock and Nanotechnology

“This looks like a job for Pan Goatee,” the satyr serial killer said as he removed his machete from his belt and decapitated a whole bunch of ugly women who were riding the bus.

Once again transit system janitors would be working overnight washing the floor and removing the blood.

“Nobody seems to murder anyone in motel room showers anymore,” one janitor complained to another.

“No, ever since Alfred Hitchcock shot that masterful scene in black and white with Janet Leigh, most psychos seem to have been afraid to murder a woman in the shower ever since,” a janitor refilled his bucket with Spic and Span.

“At least the IQ level of psychos is going up,” the other janitor filled his bucket up with Mr. Clean, “must be the influence of breakthroughs in nanotechnology and other Transhumanistically inclined sciences. At least these psychopaths are now starting to kill ugly looking women instead of good looking women like Janet Leigh.”

“The gene pool is certainly on the rise as far as psychotic killers are concerned,” the other janitor had to admit.

Next morning the bus was sparkling clean.

Ready for another day of public transit.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 17th


  1. George F. said,

    True. We have one as president.

  2. ortensia said,

    I was late but when I saw it I had to read also because I attended my Hitchcock Wednesday yesterday😎an other brilliant piece……going on a school tour today…..hope nobody will decapitate nobody in our bus😜have a great day my friend.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      Thanks very much, Ortensia. 🙂

      You have a wonderful day as well.

      Hopefully nobody will be decapitated on your bus trip.

      If it happens, then I guess it will be a truly madly ordinary bus trip in the Hitchcockian sense of those words.😜

      • ortensia said,

        Good news:we all came back with our heads still attached to our necks😀

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        That is wonderful news. 🙂

  3. Orvillewrong said,

    beautifully normal, another day in Trumps America !

  4. doesitevenmatter3 said,

    Great chapter! Great tie-ins to a great movie! I love anything Hitchcock related! 🙂
    I wonder if Mr. Kaplan from The Blacklist helped to train those bus cleaners! 😉 🙂
    HUGS!!! Happy Friday!!! 🙂

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I wouldn’t be surprised if Mr. Kaplan from The Blacklist did help train those bus cleaners. 😛

      You have a happy Friday as well, Carolyn. 🙂

  5. janowrite said,

    Another brilliant story! Always so fun! Good work, Christopher! 🙂

  6. Hyperion said,

    It just occured to me that Pan should go after the evil women like that porn star that described The Trumpulator’s Mr. Happy in stunning detail. That surely traumatized a lot of American women attending the protest rally in Washington as they read the details of the report until they too had a stunning detailed image of Trumpster’s magically growing mushroom.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      I think I missed that particular news story.

      Did that story just break today?

      • Hyperion said,

        It has been in the news for several weeks. There was news today about the ability to describe the offending presidential weenie in stunning detail.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Well I guess if people need to diet and lose weight, they can read that report just before they sit down to eat.

        That will cause them to lose their appetite.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think thousands of women will now come forward to reveal their personal knowledge of the presidential weenie. We’ll finally learn the truth about Donald in highschool as his victims come forward and reveal they too were forced to look the Trumptastic one-eyed wonder worm of doom in the eye, They will recount in horror to their favorite liberal social engineer reporter how the serpent issued forth the parade confetti like spooge of satan. It will be an all time low in American history. Men everywhere will seethe in jealousy. It’s bad. It’s really, really bad.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        It’s the phallic apocalypse.

      • Hyperion said,

        Where ist thou thumb oh bootie monger? Twixt thy lips after a sordid bum. The day of reckoning has come. A tomatoing for you and you and you be upon thy quacking bootie.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        A line spoken by Sherrielock also known as the Dominatrix of Venice.

      • Hyperion said,

        We need Sherrielock to unconstipate our Senate and get the government up and running again. We can’t waste trillions of dollars if we don’t keep the doors open.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        A tomatoing enema is just what the U.S. government needs.

      • Hyperion said,

        I think they should start with Smancee Piglosi. After they see her digestive thoughts blown from the portal of government truth, the rest will fall in step without argument. For the Trumpulator, they’ll need a little slavic caviar to prime the pump. Pootin should be able to deliver on that.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        Yes, Pootin should be able to deliver on that.

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