Pan Goatee and Janitorial Reflections On Alfred Hitchcock and Nanotechnology
Pan Goatee and Janitorial Reflections On Alfred Hitchcock and Nanotechnology
“This looks like a job for Pan Goatee,” the satyr serial killer said as he removed his machete from his belt and decapitated a whole bunch of ugly women who were riding the bus.
Once again transit system janitors would be working overnight washing the floor and removing the blood.
“Nobody seems to murder anyone in motel room showers anymore,” one janitor complained to another.
“No, ever since Alfred Hitchcock shot that masterful scene in black and white with Janet Leigh, most psychos seem to have been afraid to murder a woman in the shower ever since,” a janitor refilled his bucket with Spic and Span.
“At least the IQ level of psychos is going up,” the other janitor filled his bucket up with Mr. Clean, “must be the influence of breakthroughs in nanotechnology and other Transhumanistically inclined sciences. At least these psychopaths are now starting to kill ugly looking women instead of good looking women like Janet Leigh.”
“The gene pool is certainly on the rise as far as psychotic killers are concerned,” the other janitor had to admit.
Next morning the bus was sparkling clean.
Ready for another day of public transit.
-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Wednesday January 17th
2018.
Dracul Van Helsing 
George F. said,
January 17, 2018 at 10:54 pm
True. We have one as president.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 17, 2018 at 11:09 pm
America has come a long way since the days of the Bates Motel.
ortensia said,
January 18, 2018 at 12:57 am
I was late but when I saw it I had to read also because I attended my Hitchcock Wednesday yesterday😎an other brilliant piece……going on a school tour today…..hope nobody will decapitate nobody in our bus😜have a great day my friend.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 18, 2018 at 3:16 pm
Thanks very much, Ortensia. 🙂
You have a wonderful day as well.
Hopefully nobody will be decapitated on your bus trip.
If it happens, then I guess it will be a truly madly ordinary bus trip in the Hitchcockian sense of those words.😜
ortensia said,
January 19, 2018 at 7:08 am
Good news:we all came back with our heads still attached to our necks😀
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 19, 2018 at 2:42 pm
That is wonderful news. 🙂
Orvillewrong said,
January 18, 2018 at 4:15 pm
beautifully normal, another day in Trumps America !
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 18, 2018 at 6:53 pm
Very true, Malcolm.
doesitevenmatter3 said,
January 19, 2018 at 12:00 am
Great chapter! Great tie-ins to a great movie! I love anything Hitchcock related! 🙂
I wonder if Mr. Kaplan from The Blacklist helped to train those bus cleaners! 😉 🙂
HUGS!!! Happy Friday!!! 🙂
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 19, 2018 at 2:10 pm
I wouldn’t be surprised if Mr. Kaplan from The Blacklist did help train those bus cleaners. 😛
You have a happy Friday as well, Carolyn. 🙂
janowrite said,
January 20, 2018 at 3:15 pm
Another brilliant story! Always so fun! Good work, Christopher! 🙂
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 20, 2018 at 3:27 pm
Thanks very much, Jan. 🙂
Hyperion said,
January 20, 2018 at 3:50 pm
It just occured to me that Pan should go after the evil women like that porn star that described The Trumpulator’s Mr. Happy in stunning detail. That surely traumatized a lot of American women attending the protest rally in Washington as they read the details of the report until they too had a stunning detailed image of Trumpster’s magically growing mushroom.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 20, 2018 at 4:15 pm
I think I missed that particular news story.
Did that story just break today?
Hyperion said,
January 20, 2018 at 4:22 pm
It has been in the news for several weeks. There was news today about the ability to describe the offending presidential weenie in stunning detail.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 20, 2018 at 4:49 pm
Well I guess if people need to diet and lose weight, they can read that report just before they sit down to eat.
That will cause them to lose their appetite.
Hyperion said,
January 20, 2018 at 7:36 pm
I think thousands of women will now come forward to reveal their personal knowledge of the presidential weenie. We’ll finally learn the truth about Donald in highschool as his victims come forward and reveal they too were forced to look the Trumptastic one-eyed wonder worm of doom in the eye, They will recount in horror to their favorite liberal social engineer reporter how the serpent issued forth the parade confetti like spooge of satan. It will be an all time low in American history. Men everywhere will seethe in jealousy. It’s bad. It’s really, really bad.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 20, 2018 at 8:12 pm
It’s the phallic apocalypse.
Hyperion said,
January 20, 2018 at 9:58 pm
Where ist thou thumb oh bootie monger? Twixt thy lips after a sordid bum. The day of reckoning has come. A tomatoing for you and you and you be upon thy quacking bootie.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 20, 2018 at 10:32 pm
A line spoken by Sherrielock also known as the Dominatrix of Venice.
Hyperion said,
January 21, 2018 at 9:58 am
We need Sherrielock to unconstipate our Senate and get the government up and running again. We can’t waste trillions of dollars if we don’t keep the doors open.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 21, 2018 at 4:12 pm
A tomatoing enema is just what the U.S. government needs.
Hyperion said,
January 21, 2018 at 4:41 pm
I think they should start with Smancee Piglosi. After they see her digestive thoughts blown from the portal of government truth, the rest will fall in step without argument. For the Trumpulator, they’ll need a little slavic caviar to prime the pump. Pootin should be able to deliver on that.
Dracul Van Helsing said,
January 21, 2018 at 8:10 pm
Yes, Pootin should be able to deliver on that.