Pan Goatee, The Demon Possessed Pope and Krampus The Demon Goat of Bavaria and Austro-Hungary

August 20, 2021 at 9:59 pm (Aesthetics, Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, News, Sorcery, The Occult, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (Pan Goatee, Pope Francis, The Demon Goat Krampus)

Pan Goatee: He gets by with a little help from his friends.

Genetically created satyr serial killer Pan Goatee was trying to manoevre the streets and sidewalks of Calgary which seem to be totally ripped up this summer and turned into huge pits designed for pedestrians to fall into.

In addition to the sidewalks being ripped up with huge gaping pits around for pedestrians to fall into, the bloody assholes from the City of Calgary kept on moving the bus stops.

You generally had to walk anywhere from 6 to 8 blocks to find a bus stop.

Most fell into the pits where sidewalks used to be and were never heard or seen from again.

And tragedy of tragedies, ironically enough, the only pedestrians who didn’t seem to fall into the pits were the city’s quite repulsive and hideously ugly fat ugly blimps.

They used the power of the dark magic witchcraft of Hecate (in her crone form which was her ugliest form) to avoid the pits the City of Calgary construction (more appropriately named deconstruction) crews had dug.

Pat Goatee used his high IQ and powerful intellect to manoevre around these pits.

Fat ugly blimps used the most diabolical of dark magic witchcraft to avoid the pits where sidewalks used to be.

Goatee was trying to locate a bus stop when a fat ugly blimp tried to pass him.

“All these bloody construction crews must have opened up the gates of Hell in digging these pits allowing these fat ugly blimps to come up from the netherworld from Hecate’s Elephantine Sized Human Chamber of Horrors,” Goatee commented as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

Krampus the demon goat of Bavaria and Austria-Hungary emerged from one of the pits and carried the fat ugly blimp’s remains back down to Hell.

Goatee eventually found a bus stop.

A bus finally arrived at the stop about 20 minutes later.

8 blocks later, the bus stopped at another stop.

A fat ugly blimp got on the bus at the bus stop.

“How do you fat ugly blimps manage to avoid falling into those pits where sidewalks used to be?” Goatee remarked as he beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces, “It’s an even bigger mystery than who built the pyramids, who built Stonehenge and how do they get the Caramilk inside the Caramilk bar? Although you fat ugly blimps have probably eaten enough Caramilk bars in your life to be able to figure out that mystery.”

Krampus the demon goat of Bavaria and Austro-Hungary got on the bus where he packed up and carried the remains of the just beheaded and dismembered fat ugly blimp into the nearest pit (where a sidewalk used to be) and carried the fat ugly blimp down to Hell.

Goatee made a mental note to himself to go down to the City of Calgary Planning and Engineering Department next week and behead and dismember all of the assholes who work there.

Goatee went home and watched his favourite soap opera The Young and The Restless.

Goatee had come to the conclusion that the character of Billy Abbott was a jackass and he’d behead and dismember the fellow if he ever met him.

After watching the news which, like most mainstream news, was full of Neo-Bolshevik Communist Covid-1984 propaganda, Goatee left to go eat at a nearby Vietnamese restaurant.

The restaurant was of course full of Vietnamese people (which was a sign that excellent real authentic Vietnamese food was cooked there).

There was only one other white person in the restaurant besides Pan Goatee and with Pan Goatee’s typical bad luck, that one white person happened to be a fat ugly blimp.

Goatee immediately beheaded the fat ugly blimp and cut her up into 999 trillion pieces.

“I wish someone,” Goatee remarked, “would invent a nuclear bomb that killed fat ugly blimps and left other people intact. It would be a good idea to detonate it over the entire City of Calgary. My astral laser machete can only do so much.”

Krampus the demon goat of Bavaria and Austro-Hungary entered the restaurant and after placing a take-out order for Beef Spring Rolls, packed up the remains of the latest beheaded and dismembered fat ugly blimp and carried her into the nearby closest pit (where a sidewalk used to be) and transported the Hecate and Oprah worshipping fat ugly blimp down to Hell.

He later returned to pick up his Beef Spring Rolls.

. . .

The U.S. Ambassador To The Vatican was having a rare Friday evening meetng with Pope Francis.

The Ambassador was bringing a message from the senile old fool Baphomet, Baal, Moloch and Mephistopheles worshipping “Catholic” President Joe Biden on how to proceed with their latest plans for a Neo-Bolshevik Communist One World Government.

“What do you think of this Pan Goatee character?” The Ambassador asked Francis as the story on the radio in the papal study was about Pan Goatee’s latest slayings, “Do you think he’s demonically possessed?”.

Being the liberal modernist “Catholic” that he was, he didn’t really believe in demonic possession or even in the Supernatural for that matter but somehow his Darwinian/Teilhardian evolutionary philosophy really couldn’t explain someone like Pan Goatee.

“We are Legion,” said Francis as his eyes turned blazing fiery red and his head started spinning around and he started vomiting out copies of Pope Benedict XVI’s 2007 Motu Proprio Summorum Pontificum from his mouth.

As Francis kept repeating over and over, “We are Legion” and gave every sign of being demonically possessed himself, the U.S. Ambassador to the Vatican decided that now might be the time to leave.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Friday August 20th
2021.