Acheronus the Centaur Attacks Russian Military Base In Eastern Ukraine

May 12, 2022 at 9:41 pm (Geopolitics and International Relations, International Intrigue, Mythology, News, The Supernatural, Vampire novel) (, , , , , )

Acheronus the Centaur from Acheron the River of Woe in the Underworld Realm of Hades (with a nude ancient Babylonian vampiress Lilith riding his back) attacks a Russian military base in Eastern Ukraine

Acheronus the centaur usually used a bow and arrow to slay people.

But last night at a drunken party in the throne room of Hades and Persephone- King and Queen of the Underworld- a drunken Minotaur had sat down on top of Acheronus’ bow and arrow breaking it.

The bow and arrow had immediately been sent to Hephaestus for repair.

However Acheronus had recently been hired to attack a Russian military base in eastern Ukraine and he was without a weapon.

The centaur went to see a friend of his – Lilith the ancient Babylonian vampiress- about the matter.

Lilith gave him a metallic vampire bat triple edged scythe and golf club to mow down Russian soldiers.

As well as vampire bat metallic edged spurs for his front legs and a metallic vampire bat edged spur for his right arm.

Acheronus with his metallic vampire bat triple edged scythe and golf club and wearing his metallic vampire bat edged spurs as Lilith rides his back

Acheronus wiped out an entire battalion of 1200 Russian soldiers with his metallic vampire bat triple edged scythe and golf club.

Lilith then asked Acheronus if she could ride his front.

Acheronus replied that his personal development, physical exercise and motivatational coach advised him not to have sex when he was in warfare training.

British MP Renfield R. Renfield, when informed of this later, quipped, “I’d think seriously about changing my personal development, physical exercise and motivational coach for another.”

Russian President Vladimir Putin was angry when he heard about Acheronus’ wiping out of an entire Russian battalion.

He ordered all of Russia’s intelligence services to find out who was responsible for hiring Acheronus the centaur.

Whoever that individual was would be treated to a Polonium-210 cocktail.

If it was a national government, that nation would be subject to a hypersonic nuclear missile attack Putin vowed.

-A vampire novel chapter
written by Christopher
Thursday May 12th
2022.

4 Comments

  1. Hyperion said,

    When warfare becomes tits for bats, or is that tats? Never mind, it seems Lilith and her steedly stud need to visit the Kremlin and change Herr Pootin’s sour mood with a few equestrian delights.

    • Dracul Van Helsing said,

      ROTFL ! at tits for bats/tats! πŸ˜†πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      Yes, Lilith and her steedly stud must stake out the Kremlin. πŸ§›πŸ»β€β™‚

      • Hyperion said,

        Waaa haaa haaaa! A few silver bullets and a stake or three well placed might be the answer to our current grumpy world.

      • Dracul Van Helsing said,

        I think so, Daniel.

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